In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
This is going to be more review-y than recap-py, because otherwise, I'll be up all night, shoot my whole wad, and have nothing left to say in the weecap. Okay? Okay!
Stefan, Alaric and Damon make a dozen stakes out of the restored Wickery Bridge sign which, of fricking course, was made out of Son of White Oak. They train the rest of the Fellowship of the Falls on how to stake an Original.
Meanwhile Klaus, who is always one step ahead, collects blood from all his siblings (even the suicidal Finn). He kidnaps Bonnie and forces her to do a de-linking spell. The Fellowship gets a chance to stake Finn, and they do, but it's seconds after Bonnie has completed the delinking spell, so only Finn dies. That was the most predictable moment in an otherwise delightful episode.
During all this, Rebekah has kidnapped Damon, tortured him and bled him free of vervain so that he will be compellable. When Stefan arrives with eight Son Of White Oak stakes, he offers to trade them for Damon and swears that's all he has. Klaus compels Damon to admit there are still three stakes left (one went in Finn, remember, and burnt up). In other news, when you kill an Original, it seems all the vampires in his bloodline die, because after Finn croaks, Sage and her newest turn are dead within an hour.
What works tonight (in one of the best episodes in a good long while) are the emotions. Caroline and Alaric have a poignant scene, in which he apologizes for killing Bill Forbes. They break my heart but good. Elena and Stefan have a few strong emotional scenes together, including their final one, in which Elena cannot deny her feelings for Damon. Bonnie's breakdown over all that she's been through is topnotch as well. This show shines when it is character-driven and lets these poor people break our hearts. They do that in "The Murder Of One," in spades.
I'll be back with the full weecap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where I cannot look you in the eye and deny my feelings for Damon.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on The Vampire Diaries, the Gilbert protect-o ring made Alaric a psycho killer. Sage loves Finn. Esther used Elena's doppelicious blood to link the Original spawn, so if one dies, they all die. Rebekah discovers Son of White Oak. Damon researches Son of White Oak's fate. It was used to build Wickery Bridge and its sign. The Brothers Salvatore salivate over killing the Originals.
Currently, on The Vampire Diaries, Elena brings Alaric coffee and muffins. Damon reports that Alaric slept through the night without having any psycho killer spells, but he won't let Elena in the loft. For a moment, I decide this is because he's noticed Ric and Elena's great chemistry. When Elena objects to being shut out, Damon whispers sweet nothings about how she's paranoid and a control freak. How can she resist him when he pitches such sweet woo? After he shuts the door in her face, he narrates that she's, "...walking down the stairs, opening front door, and she's gone." On cue, Alaric starts cutting up the Wickery Bridge sign, with his huge circular saw (not a euphemism, because what would that even mean). Title Card.
The guys are whittling pieces of Son of White Oak into stakes. Stefan criticizes Damon's whittling technique. Since these "boys" came of age in Civil War Virginia, I'm pretty sure that's a deeply offensive assault on Damon's manhood. Damon's wearing two ginormous rings this week, so I guess the second one is Alaric's. Does it not seem like a supremely bad idea for a vampire who wears a Daywalker ring to also be wearing a ring meant to resurrect humans from (any convoluted manner of) death caused by a supernatural being? I'm just sayin'. Alaric interrupts the brotherly bickering to announce he's going to call the sheriff. He wants to turn himself in.
Damon: No you don't.
Ric: Unlike the other two psycho killers in this room, I actually feel bad about being a psycho killer.
Damon: If you wanted to turn yourself in, you'd do it, rather than talk about it to us, because you know we're not going to allow it.
Stefan: The herbs are working and we have Originals to kill. You're helping. That's that.
Damon: Here's your ring, Ric. Put it on.
Recapper: Okay, I'm really glad you've taken that off, Damon, but um...this is a bad idea. You're giving Ric anti-psycho killer herbs, while encouraging him to wear the psycho killer-making ring. Do you not see how this might be counter-productive?
Ric: What she said.
Damon: The ring is the reason you're alive. You're going vampire hunting. Wear it.
As Alaric slides the ring back on his finger, we cut to Elena and Caroline, who are out for a walk in the woods. Let's hope the women are smarter than the men. Caroline's naturally upset by the fact that her history teacher and friend is the person who killed the father who tried to torture the vampire out of her. Elena exposits about Bonnie's de-psycho killer spell and the herbs, which are healing Alaric and keeping the dark side "buried." That doesn't exactly make everything okay with Caroline. Elena understands and doesn't expect it to, but points out that Ric is a victim of something supernatural.
Elena: He didn't ask for this, just like Abby Abandoner didn't ask to become a vampire.
Recapper: I think an argument could be made that Abby did ask to become a vampire, on account of how she SUCKS SO VERY HARD! Ahem. Sorry, ladies. Continue.
Elena: Okay, she didn't explicitly ask for it. Neither did Stefan, or Tyler.
Caroline: Or me.
Elena nods gently and, without ever saying it, reminds Caroline that she too has taken human life. Elena also points out that none of them asked for this, but wonders who she would be if she turned her back on any of them. Caroline is touched by this. She puts her arm around her friend and proclaims her: "Elena Gilbert, savior of the cursed and the damned." Go team girlfriends! The friendships between our female characters have always been one of my favorite parts of the show, and they've been fading into the background for far too long.
The girls meet up with my Pudding Pop, Matt Donovan, who asks what's up with the cryptic text and secret meeting. Elena doesn't know, and says Stefan just said to meet there. Okay, um... I know Stefan is on the road to redemption and all, but it's not like he's settled down and bought a house on a few acres in Redemption Village. It would take more than a cryptic text about a secret meeting from Stefan to get me out to the middle of the woods where no one could hear my screams -- that is, before he ripped off my head and I no longer could scream.
Stefan arrives and asks where Bonnie is. Caroline blahs about how Bonnie's having trouble coming to terms with Abby Abandoner abandoning her, again. She suggests they leave Bonnie out of the Fellowship of the Falls foray. Matt asks why they're there.
Damon: We found some more white oak. Long story. Wait for the movie.
Recapper: I know the timing makes this impossible, but I'm pretending you're flippancy is in acknowledgement of my hatred of this Son of White Oak business.
Elena: Hang on. The White Oak had a son?
Recapper: Yeah, see, there are these things called acorns, right...
Elena: My point is, the boys have a weapon that can kill Klaus?
Stefan: Nope. We all have a weapon. Here, let me throw my weapons bag at your feet. It's chock full of Son of White Oak stakes. I've conveniently left it open, so that I can watch y'all as your eyes grow wide and your chins hit the ground.
Caroline, Matt, Elena: Here, let us oblige you.
We cut to some city street. I'm going to pretend it's in Atlanta, because the show films in Atlanta. Klaus catches up with Finn, who informs him Esther is off researching another way to kill them, and Finn will be more than happy to help her accomplish that goal. Klaus wants Finn to come back to Mystic Falls so he can sever their death link. Finn Stealth-Salvatores away from Klaus, but damn the luck, he ends up in the exact alley where Rebekah is waiting for him. Klaus corners him and beats him up. This scene is stupid. Finn ought to be able to put up a decent fight against Klaus. They should have just used Sage to lure Finn back to Mystic Falls. I mean, what are they going to do, keep beating Finn while they're on the road? Blah.
Back in the woods, Stefan tells the kids that since the Originals are linked, they only need to kill one. Since all the members of the Fellowship of the Falls are now armed with Son of White Oak stakes, it's just a matter of seizing the opportunity to stake an Original. They run different scenarios. Damon assigns their roles: Elena plays Klaus; Caroline is Klaus bait; Matt is Rebekah bait.
Matt: How?
Damon: Just act interested. She's lonely and desperate.
Caroline: Clearly. She slept with you.
Elena's Face: I love my BFF!
I'm not going to get into their tactical details. Suffice it to say, the Salvatores have some decent plans, despite their earlier brain-dead decision to encourage Alaric to wear the ring. The point is to stay on their toes and take advantage of any chance they get. Damon lectures Elena about not having any last moments of pity for any of the Originals. She's more than ready, after what happened to Bonnie's mom. (Of course she hasn't seen that handsome devil, Elijah, lately, so it's probably easier.) Caroline's all over the plan, for Tyler's sake. Matt's in, because what choice does he have? Stefan says they have 12 stakes, which means they have 12 shots at killing one Original. They can totally do this.
We cut to Klaus Haus. Klaus has just literally thrown Finn into the house. Rebekah tells Klaus to "gather [his] witch," get Finn's blood and get on with it. Wait a minute! If all you need is his blood, why didn't you just take his blood in Atlanta? See what I mean about the stupid? I would find it far more believable that Finn returned for Sage at just the time Klaus was trying to unlink them, than that they manhandled him all the way back to Mystic Falls. Okay. I'll let it go, now, because I enjoyed this episode far more than the past few.
Finn says they can't force him to help them. Um, they just forced you back to town? All they need is blood. I can't.... All right, I said I was letting go. Here comes Sage down the gorgeous Klaus Haus staircase. She's Klaus's leverage over Finn. This week, Sage is an open faced, love smitten, likable woman, even though for the last two weeks, she's been a rape pimp. I can't wait for her to die. The long lost lovers embrace. Rebekah mocks them. Klaus gets a text from Kol saying to let him know when he's needed. Rebekah asks Klaus what he needs from her. He just wants her blood and her blessing. She's got some unfinished business with Damon and she'd like to get down to it.
Over at Mossy Manse, Damon hides some Son of White Oak stakes among his firewood, so Alaric mocks him about the time he hid the moonstone in his soap dish. Damon asks Alaric where he hid his stake, but before he can answer, there's a crashing noise upstairs. They go to investigate. Ric gets thrown down the stairs. Damon turns around, only to have Rebekah stake him in the gut. Commercial.
Matt, Caroline and Elena are downtown. Elena mentions that she hasn't been able to reach Bonnie. Caroline kind of looks like she wants to say maybe Bonnie's avoiding Elena's calls, but before she says anything at all, Matt notices Finn and Sage across the street. Caroline uses her vamponic hearing to tune in on their conversation. Sage still loves Finn. She doesn't want him to die.
When Stefan returns to Mossy Manse, he's on the phone with Elena. She tells him Finn is downtown with an ex-girlfriend. Stefan figures out it must be Sage. Elena wants to take advantage of the opportunity to kill Finn, but Stefan warns her that since Sage is so old and powerful, it's too dangerous. Elena tells Stefan to get Damon and get downtown, just as Stefan happens upon poor, injured Alaric. When Stefan asks what happened to him, Alaric says Rebekah did. Stefan tells Elena he thinks they have a problem. When do they not?
Over at Klaus Haus, Rebekah has Damon chained up. She has stuck his hands in animal traps -- you know, the kind with teeth. The traps are connected to chains which are suspended from the ceiling. Rebekah is punishing him because he slept with her in order to let Sage read her thoughts. She's decided to bleed the vervain from his system. He asks if she's going to compel him to be her boyfriend. She'd rather compel him to kill Stefan or Elena. Either way, it's going to take a while, and Rebekah is clearly getting off on torturing Damon. Klaus comes in and suggests hanging Damon upside down to speed up the process. Rebekah wants to play the game her own way, and tells Klaus to go manage his witch.
Bonnie is in another room, studying the unlinking spell. Klaus threatens her, her loved ones, etc. because that's his favorite pastime. She's just not sure she's strong enough to perform it. Klaus tells her she's not trying, and then he calls Kol. Kol is in Colorado, stalking Jeremy. He sends Klaus video of Jeremy playing fetch with his new puppy.
Klaus: Isn't that just the most adorable thing you've ever seen?
It's up there. Poor Bonnie. Klaus blahs something at her about the spell and we cut to Mossy Manse. Caroline finds Ric recovering on the couch. She makes a crack about his run in with "Buffy the vampire." I pretend that's a shout-out to me. She's there to check up on Alaric, in case he's not himself. He says he is. Caroline figures not-him would make the same claim and delivers some herb juice from Elena. They agree that it's revolting, but necessary.
Caroline brings up the elephant in the room. Alaric apologizes for killing her father and admits he doesn't even know what else to say. Caroline graciously confesses the murder she committed right after she turned, and even more generously adds that she liked it. She says she has blood on her hands -- they all do. Ric yeah buts her because the blood on his hands is her father's. Caroline acknowledges that, but points out that her victim must have had loved ones, too. Her point is that she knows she's no better than he.
Caroline: So, I'm going to take a page from the Elena Gilbert handbook and choose to believe that you can be saved, okay?
Alaric: Okay.
Recapper: *Weeps* Shut up, you guys. I'm a sucker for forgiveness and redemption stories.
Elena meets Stefan downtown. He reports that Finn is at the Grill, so they should take advantage of the opportunity to stake him. Elena reminds Stefan that Rebekah has Damon, so saving him needs to be their priority. Stefan wants to stick to the plan. Elena doesn't want to risk Damon's life. Stefan says Damon's head would explode if they squandered an Original-killing opportunity just to save him. Elena gets that, but she also knows that if the roles were reversed, Damon would stop everything to rescue Stefan. Stefan says he knows what Damon would want. Elena says what he'd want and what they should do are two different things. They stare each other down for a moment and then Stefan gets all, "Are you going to help me with this or not?" When Elena doesn't answer, he says he'll figure it out himself and swans off.
Klaus Haus, Torture Salon. Damon's just hanging around (sorry) bleeding and suffering, when Elena walks in. He can't believe his eyes, and he shouldn't, because this is all a Rebekah-induced hallucination, but we don't know that yet. Hallucination Elena frees Damon's hands from the animal traps. He can barely stand, so she bears his weight as they make their way through the mansion. Damon falls and says he needs a minute. Elena offers him her wrist and orders him to drink her blood. He hesitates at first, but she persuades him. They stare into one another's eyes as he drinks. When he's done, they are about to kiss, but the hallucination ends.
Damon: You bitch.
Rebekah: It's not fun when someone messes with your thoughts is it?
Damon: Actually, I was having a pretty good time in there.
Rebekah: I hope you were nicer to Elena than you were to me.
Audience: No you don't.
Damon starts to psychoanalyze Rebekah. He knows he couldn't have hurt her that much, so he figures she's acting out because Klaus has been bossing her around for a thousand years. Damon's not as good as Elena is at talking Rebekah down, so she stakes him in the gut.
Down in the Magical Parlor, Bonnie hears the screams. Klaus tells her not to let it bother her. Bonnie tells him he bothers her, and lays a righteous slap-down on him for using others. Klaus twists the knife about Abby abandoning her, again, and says he can have people find Abby and bring her back to Bonnie, alive or in pieces, if she likes. He issues more of his standard brand of threats, then breaks out his sibling blood collection. He bites into his own wrist and asks Bonnie where she wants the blood. She holds out a wine glass, and he bleeds into it.
At the Grill, Sage introduces Finn to Tequila, as Stefan uses his vamponic hearing to eavesdrop on their conversation. A vampire, Troy (Linds Edwards), greets Sage and then walks off. She explains she turned Troy, because she's in enemy territory and it never hurts to have backup. Matt comes over to the table to take away their empty glasses. Sage grabs his arm way too hard, and I try to kill her with my brain. She then orders another round. Matt laughs more easily than I'd expect him to, and says he'll tell their waitress. When he then takes Stefan's empty glass, Stefan stealthily slides him a bottle of vervain.
In a quick cut to Klaus Haus, we see Bonnie begin the spell.
Back in the Grill, Finn asks how many people Sage has turned over the years. She admits it's a lot, but points out he turned her. He says his passion overtook his morals. Sage says that happens to her on a daily basis. Can they be dead yet? Stefan texts someone: "Get ready."
Klaus Haus. Bonnie's still doing the spell.
Grill. A waitress brings Sage and Finn their drinks. When they take a sip, they spit it out, because of the vervain. Stefan, who is already at the door, gives them a come-hither look and heads outside.
Klaus Haus. Bonnie's still doing the spell. The puddle of blood in the middle of the table starts to spread into a vaguely five-pointed shape.
Stefan waits outside the Grill. When Finn comes out, he tries to jump him, but Sage knocks him down. The stake falls down the exterior stairs leading to the Grill's basement. Sage holds Stefan down and yells at Finn to retrieve the stake.
Klaus Haus: Bonnie Latinates really loudly. The candles flare. The blood has now separated into five separate pools.
Grill Exterior. Finn rushes down the stairs. The Grill basement door flies open. Elena's holding Alaric's stake-shooting crossbow and Matt Donovan has her back. Elena fires a stake. It hits Finn in the gut. Then Matt charges and thrusts his stake in Finn's heart. Please note: the only ordinary human in the Fellowship is the first member of the Fellowship to kill an unkillable original. Yay, Pudding Pop! Sage screams. Matt and Elena rush back inside and close the door. Sage rushes to Finn's side. Stefan rises to his feet takes in the sight of a Son of White Oak staked Original, then leaves. Sage cries over Finn as he dies. I should be moved but I hate her, and the show never gave me much of a reason for engaging with Finn's character, either, so cry and die, suckers. I'm popping some corn! Like his father before him, Finn's corpse bursts into flames at the moment of death, burning up both him and one of the Son of Oak stakes. Sage jumps back from the flames and continues to cry. I wrap this scene in pink hearts and ribbons.
Klaus Haus. Bonnie is spent. Klaus is Klaus. The music is DRAMATIC. After a break, we return. Rebekah meets up with Bonnie as Klaus is escorting her out. After Rebekah spouts a little social saccharine at Bonnie, she walks off. It's then that Bonnie sees poor Damon.
Bonnie: Oh my God.
Recapper: Right? Please tell me Rebekah didn't put a plaid shirt under Damon's blue over-shirt. There's only so much torture a vampire can take. Oh, wait. That's just blood, thank goodness.
Klaus: You'll have to excuse the mess. Apparently Damon hurt her feelings. Go on. Help him. Save the man who turned your mother into a vampire.
Bonnie: Just get me out of here.
Recapper: I love Damon, but honey, I don't blame you one bit.
Stefan and Elena return to Mossy Manse. Caroline reports that Alaric will be okay. She gave him a bottle of herbs and he went home. No one blinks an eye because the Fellowship of the Falls fails at babysitting Alaric. Caroline asks if killing Finn killed all the Originals. Stefan says he'll need to see Klaus's dead body for himself, but if/since Originals burn up, would that even be possible? Never mind. There's no time for that.
Bonnie calls Elena, who is all girl, where've you been. Bonnie reports that Klaus has Damon. Elena says Klaus and all the Originals should be dead, since they just killed Finn. Bonnie explains Klaus forced her to do an unlinking spell. Since Stefan and Caroline are vampires, they can hear both sides of the conversation. Bonnie says Damon is still at Klaus Haus. Her voice breaks as she tells Elena it's bad and that Klaus threatened Jeremy and her "mom." Is that the first time Bonnie has called Abby Abandoner mom? I hope so. I also hope it's the last. When Elena asks Bonnie if she's okay, she cries that she doesn't know. Then she tells Elena she has to go. She hangs up the phone, slides down to the ground (she's leaning against what must be her car, outside Klaus Haus), and breaks into hard, ugly, heartbreaking sobs.
Mossy Manse. Stefan orders Elena to stay at the Manse with Caroline. He's off to kill Klaus. Elena tells him he's acting out of anger and it's going to get him and/or Damon killed. Stefan doesn't exactly say he doesn't care, but he doesn't care. Klaus doesn't get to survive this. After he storms out the door, Caroline comes around the corner and quips that she misses well-adjusted Stefan. Amen, sister.
Maladjusted Stefan comes flying back in the door, and although that's not a comment on his speed, he is moving pretty fast because Sage has literally thrown him into his house. Sheesh, these guys need to deed the house to another human. I hate that anyone can waltz in there. Caroline tries to hit Sage, but Sage smacks her to the floor. When Elena tries to run out the door, she runs into Troy (Sage's newbie vamp).
Sage kicks Stefan around a little as she tells him off, but she looks a little green (seriously). Soon, she's coughing up blood and gets a nosebleed, too. When she tries to punch Stefan, he has no problem grabbing her fist. She falls to the floor and asks Troy to help her. He goes to her side but can't really help as he starts coughing up blood, too. And then the best thing happens. They DIE! They should consider themselves lucky, because Damon is going to be hella pissed that they bled on his rug.
Stefan, Caroline and Elena recap what we've just seen. It's finally Stefan who connects the dots. Finn turned Sage who turned Troy. Finn died. Now his bloodline has died off. My friend Erin cracks me up with her Tweet on this development.
Erin's Tweet: Okay @CindyMcLennan...here's my question of the week...what the hell is going on around the world right now as ALL of Sage's baby vamps (she sorta did tell Finn she's created lots) are dropping dead wherever they are. Would that not create some major questions from law enforcement & the general public about what kind of "people" turn grey & ash-y immediately after dropping dead for no apparent reason? Or what kind of crazy health scare epidemic they need to be on the lookout for? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled Sage is no more...I'm just a little stressed about the random 11yr old in line with her mom at Target in Knoxville, buying her first training bra, watching the guy in front of them drop dead & getting all grey & veiny.
I laugh for like five minutes, because I got that Tweet from Erin right after I had a "people suck" moment, and I so needed it. However, Erin is asking in earnest. If we've gotten all the mythology here, then what Erin mentions should be happening. I just don't think the show is going to bother to pursue that angle. That said, when I watched this the first time, I wondered if the vampyric bloodline needs to be unbroken. That is, Finn, Sage and Troy are a direct line. What I'm wondering is a scenario like this: Finn turns Sage; Sage turns Joe Schmoe; Joe Schmoe turns Troy; Joe Schmoe then dies in a fire, or is staked or whatever, before Matt stakes Finn with Son of White Oak. If the line was already broken, would Troy still die when Finn and Sage died? Who am I kidding? I'm probably not going to get an answer to that question, either. I'll just sit over here in the wondering-corner with Erin. Oh, wait, I have a weecap to finish. I can't. Sorry, Erin. Save me a seat!
So yeah, Stefan figures out that killing an Original kills his vampire descendants. Caroline realizes the personal implications. Elena voices them: "If the Originals die. So will all of you. The vampire species would be dead." Silly Elena, you say that like it's a bad thing. Sorry, apparently I'm channeling a little Xander Harris, today. I don't really want "our" vampires to die (much).
Back at Klaus Haus, Damon is hanging out (sorry, again). When Stefan comes in to rescue him, Damon says, "This was much different in my head." Poor noodle. Stefan hollers out for Klaus, who enters the room with Rebekah on his tail. Stefan throws down his bag full of Son of White Oak stakes. He'll trade them for Damon. Rebekah doesn't believe the stakes are certified Son of White Oak, but then Stefan tells them about killing Finn. Rebekah reacts to this news. Klaus remains silent, so Stefan presents his deal again. He wants Damon in exchange for the eight remaining Son of White Oak stakes. Klaus wonders how he'll know there aren't any more left, and even though I know the Fellowship made twelve stakes, I totally believe Stefan when he says there aren't. Klaus is smarter than I am, though. He goes over to Damon to see if he's compellable yet. Damon struggles against the compulsion at first, but then Klaus orders him to go home. Poor Damon starts trying to pull his hands free. The trap teeth rip through them. Stefan can scarcely stand to watch. Rebekah, who has been torturing Damon for hours, is also affected. As Damon screams, we cut back to...
Mossy Manse. Caroline returns complaining about vampire disposal. Elena tells her Stefan is off trading the stakes for Damon, but they still have enough to kill three of the remaining four Originals. They just have to figure out who to save. Damon turned Caroline and Abby. Katherine turned Stefan and Damon. Rose turned Katherine. They have to figure out who turned Rose. Elena just hopes it wasn't Klaus, so that they can still kill him. It's then that Caroline points out that Klaus turned Tyler. If they kill Klaus, Tyler will die.
Sidebar: Would (or should) Tyler really die? I mean, I know the writers can make up any rules they want; I'm just trying to think which mythology makes more sense to me. Tyler was a werewolf first. Maybe just his vampireness would end, which would be great, because then he'd no longer be a sire-bound hybrid. I don't know. I just think we're jumping to a lot of conclusions, here, kids. I'm sure the writing team wants to amp up the pain though, so these conclusions will probably turn out to be correct. Speaking of amping up the pain...
Klaus Haus. Klaus finally orders poor Damon to stop trying to tear his hands free of the traps. Now that he knows Damon is compellable, he asks Damon how many Son of White Oak stakes remain. Damon tells the truth: eleven. Stefan tells Klaus he will get him the other three. Klaus flirts with the idea of compelling Damon to chew out his own tongue.
Stefan: What is wrong with you?
Recapper: Oh hey, Stef, have you met Klaus?
Klaus: Right?! Seriously, I've given you a target for all your anger, so you don't have to turn it on yourself -- as a friend I've done this. You should be thanking me.
Stefan: I'm going to give you a good, old fashioned Son of White Oak staking right now. *tries really hard*
Klaus: Yes, it makes no sense that I'm not killing Stefan right now, but I am right crazy, so it's not out of character. Instead, I'll just tell him to step down. Step down, Stefan, or you'll both die. And I'll take that Son of White Oak stake in your hand, thanks. Now you only have to get me the other two.
Rebekah: Bored now. I'm releasing Damon. Stefan, bring us the stakes and you both live. Take your brother as a sign of good faith.
Klaus: Bring us the stakes, both of them, or I'll wage a war against everyone you love, blah blee bloo same old song and dance.
When Rebekah and Klaus are alone, she tries to come to terms with Finn's death, which I would think shouldn't be all that difficult, since he spent the last 900 years mostly dead. Klaus says Finn was an embarrassment. Rebekah tells him to mind his tongue, he was still their brother. Rebekah wonders if Klaus would be so cavalier if she died. Klaus says they'll find out soon enough, since she let the Salvatores go even though they still possess two stakes that can kill them. He wonders when she developed a soft spot for them. I'll tell you, Klaus, it's their brotherly bond. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Rebekah agrees with me.
Rebekah: The Salvatores may fight like dogs, but in the end they would die for each other. At least they know what family means. You destroyed ours.
Klaus: I wanted a family. They just didn't want me. And now we're unlinked. We're no longer responsible for each other.
Recapper: So the older a vampire is, the stronger he is. Likewise, the older a vampire gets, the whinier he gets. Someone put a certified Son of White Oak stake in these two, now. Please. I hope to high heaven that Elijah is the originator of the Rose/Katherine/Stefan/Damon/Caroline etc. line, because while I have enjoyed Klaus and Rebekah overall, it's time for them to go.
So anyhow, Rebekah asks Klaus if he's leaving. He says he will, as soon as they get the stakes. He'll take Elena with him and use her blood to create a new family. Rebekah wonders what happens if she chooses to stay in Mystic Falls. Oh no. Please no. Klaus tells her if she does that, she's just as pathetic as Finn. I hope that works on her insecurities, because just please go.
Stefan is in his Mossy Manse bedroom playing with his stake. Elena finds him and notes he's been awfully quiet since he got home. Stefan says he'll be a ball of sunshine as soon as Damon returns with Alaric's stake. Wait a second, Show. I know vampires heal fast and all and you want to give Stefan and Elena this moment to talk, but seriously? Damon is the one playing messenger right now? Hell, couldn't Caroline have gone to get the stake? Damon should be in his beautiful bedroom with attached, covet-worthy bathroom, downing a six pack of B positive. Let me start a new paragraph and get back on track.
Elena tells Stefan that when he was so intent on killing Klaus all alone, he scared her. Stefan's had a change of heart. He's now decided Klaus isn't worth all the time and energy he's spent hating him. Stefan says they lost and it's over. Now he's right back where he started. Elena reminds him that although Klaus put him through hell, he's come out the other side. He beat Klaus by being better than him. Stefan is mourning all he's lost in the process. Hating Klaus was easy. It allowed him to ignore everything he let slip away. Now he has to face that. He asks Elena to admit it ("it" being that he's lost her). Elena says she can't because she never stopped loving him. Stefan knows that, but he also knows that she's also in love with Damon. Elena says, "No," but then stumbles over her words. Stefan tells Elena that he loves her and will always love her, but he needs her to look him in the eye and tell him she doesn't feel something for Damon. Elena can't speak at first. She shakes her head and then finally admits she doesn't know what she feels. When she can say no more, Stefan closes his eyes and bows he head for a moment. When he looks at her again, his eyes are bright with tears. He nods, picks up his stake and walks off.
Damon arrives at Alaric's loft. Alaric goes to his bookshelf to retrieve the stake, and removes a handful of books. Damon mocks Alaric's hiding spot, pointing out that at least his own firewood hiding spot was clever. Alaric doesn't respond, because the shelf is bare. They guys look behind other books. Alaric says it couldn't have vanished into thin air. Damon asks Alaric who else he's told about the stake.
Alaric: I'm the only one who knew about it, Damon.
Damon: No. Are you telling me that your vampire-hating alter-ego has a stake that could kill an entire line of vampires -- POSSIBLY MINE?
Alaric: That's exactly what I'm telling you.
Now that is an episode of The Vampire Diaries. Welcome back, show. You had me worried for a couple of weeks. Of course, now we're left hanging on the edge of this cliff, until April 19, 2012. I don't mind the break, except for how I completely do.
I'll be back April 20, 2012 with coverage of episode 3-19, "Heart Of Darkness." In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where I cannot look you in the eye and deny my feelings for Damon.