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I started to write my usual type of recaplet, but so much happens in "All My Children," that it was nearly a weecap by the time I was done. I've saved it as a weecap draft and am approaching this recaplet from a different angle.
"All My Children" is a beautiful testament to the love between the Salvatore brothers. Since the end of last season, we've watched Stefan lose everything, in order to save Damon's life. Now, perhaps he shouldn't have done so, but he did. Since the moment Stefan coerced Damon into transitioning, back in 1864, one thing has been clear: Stefan refuses to be the only immortal Salvatore. Sure, maybe he goes months, years or decades without enjoying his brother's company (sometimes while he is in his brother's company), but he will always choose Damon.
Meanwhile, The Vampire Diaries has been working to convince us that Damon will always choose Elena. And? I'm not saying he won't, in his own Damony-way. But he too, will always choose Stefan. A literal flip of a coin freed Damon from having to be the bad guy and end the Bennett bloodline mojo Esther needed to destroy her unholy spawn, but Damon has been watching Stefan. While Stefan's humanity switch might be, or may have been on the fritz, he has quietly eschewed human blood, since the night he took his not-caring act (and oh, what an act) too far, force fed Elena his blood, and used her as a pawn in his vengeance quest against Klaus.
Damon knows Stefan has enough guilt heaped upon his poofy-haired head, and that despite his (now disintegrating mask), Stefan has been having FEELINGS LIKE WHOA, all over the place. While Damon loves Elena, and knows Stefan is his most formidable rival for her affections, he wants to play it straight (or at least as straight as his crooked little heart will let him). Damon won't give up on their girlfriend, but he won't sacrifice his brother's recovery -- his redemption -- in the battle for her love. That, right there, is why this love triangle works for me. Each of the three characters cares deeply for the other two.
Damon's decision to be the one to vamp a Bennett, will likely not sit well with Elena (nor with Bonnie). But Damon's decision to spare Stefan further guilt (and further grief from their girlfriend), to my weird way of thinking, proves Damon capable of becoming the sort of vampire who may, one day, be worthy of Elena.
Now, I don't want to alienate either E/D or E/S fans, so let me be clear -- I don't think Stefan is worthy of Elena, either. I mean really, I don't think any vampire who has killed a human, for any reason other than self-defense, is worthy of a human who hasn't killed a human. Krazy Klaus is right, that Elena would have a better life with someone like Matt. Admittedly, I cut Caroline some slack, when she first turned (and murdered) and was still in love with Matt, but Caroline is a different case. She became so much more awesome once she was vamped, that I just refuse to hold her measly murder record against her. More honestly, this series is a gothic teen romance series -- featuring absurdly attractive vampires and humans. There is going to be vampire/human canoodling. I have to lower my standards (even for Elena), or I'll just be raving like loon -- I mean more than usual.
Speaking of Caroline, how great was it to watch her play Klaus? Oh sure, he made me swoon last week, with his, "I fancy you," and his I love Caroline + HORSIE drawing, but come on, he's Satan Klaus. Assuming this season will end Klaus's reign of terror over Elena and company, I do hope that Klaus's love for Caroline turns out to be his fatal flaw.
I keep thinking about Caroline keeping Elena from talking to Bonnie during Abby's transition. When she says that Bonnie loves Elena and is glad she's alive, but that she (Bonnie) always seems to be the one who gets hurt, my heart breaks for both Bonnie and Elena. Bonnie often is the one who suffers. It's true. What is also true is that I'm so used to watching Elena suffer, that I often forget she's suffering. Some of my nonchalance about Elena's pain, can be chocked up to her innate heroism. Last season, Elena was more than willing (to the point where those people calling her suicidal couldn't quite be written off as cranks) to sacrifice her life, so that Bonnie wouldn't have to risk her own life, performing the spell to stop Klaus. Also, as Damon and Stefan discuss in "All My Children," Elena would have preferred that Damon and Stefan let her die, if it meant letting Bonnie and/or Abby live.
I take it from Caroline's use of the word transition, that Abby will not go the way of Bill Forbes, but the conversation was brief enough, that I can't be sure. Even though I love the female friendships on this show (although certainly more in Seasons 1 and 2, than this season), I wouldn't object to Abby dying, and not just because she abandoned her own child and then took in someone else's. Were Abby to die, her death could trigger some enormous fallout in the friendship between all three girls. Bonnie and Caroline would suddenly share a profound bond. Bonnie's resentment of Elena would grow. I suppose there can be much of the same fallout if Abby completes the transition and turns into a vampire, but Bonnie and Caroline would not share the same bond.
This week, I swooned over Elijah's little mash note to Elena. How perfectly Elijah-y it was. He and Elena are embroiled in the most romantic non-romance, perhaps since Little Women's Jo and Teddy. My fickle heart overflows, which almost makes up for my failure to get "Elijah's sword" to trend on Twitter, last night.
Finally, my friend Rachel and I, would like to take this opportunity for me to say, in no uncertain terms, that we are ever so glad that Meredith is the psycho killer, rather than my Pudding Pop, Matt. We are glad, not just for Matt's sake, but because it gives me the opportunity to call our lovely and talented friend, Erin, DELUSIONAL. Don't mind those stray italics. Erin and Rachel know why they're there. Oh, I suppose I should acknowledge Alaric might be dead, too. I hope not. I kind of think, if they were going to kill Ric, it would have been made into a big moment in this episode, but who can tell with this crazy show? I'll leave off, for now, right after I make this...
Confession: my ability to grade this show has either died or been daggered. I started to give this episode an A-. In part, my rationale was, "I've given it a couple of A+ grades in a row." I had at least one teacher who used to do that to me. It's an unfair grading approach. It's not this episode's fault that episode 3-13 broke my heart, and episode 3-14 dazzled me with fancy beauty. , I started to give it an A+, but my gut is telling me I've got some fuzzy objection to that. I just can't figure out what it is. So, that A up there -- it might be temporary. Writing up the full weecap usually helps clarify my thoughts.
This was such an action-packed episode, and I have so much more to say about it. The show is on hiatus 'til March 15, 2012, so let me entertain you. I'll be back, ASAP, with my seldom "wee" full weecap. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where we're trying to get Elena and Bonnie to kiss and make up.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hi everyone, and welcome back. It's the morning after Esther's grand ball. Elena calls Stefan, but he ignores his phone, because he's writing in his diary! Hi, little vampire diary. I remember you. I wish I knew what Stefan just wrote in you.
Vampire Diary: Remember how, back in the first season, you used to refer to the diary voice-over segments as DIARY-Ahhh?
Recapper: Yep.
Vampire Diary: Well then, maybe you shouldn't have been so mean, not to mention nasty.
Recapper: There are enough sullen, vengeful characters in this episode. I don't need to import any into the recap. Besides, I just walked over to the TV and read you.
Vampire Diary: wallowing in self-loathing. Better to close it off, bury it,
Recapper: Oh, Stefan. Have you considered therapy? So, gentle readers, where were we? Right. , Elena calls Damon, reminds him she called him ten times the night before, and tells him they need to talk. He's too bitter to listen, even though he's still in bed with Rebekah. What's the point of having two men on the hook, if you can't get either of them to pay a little heed?
Elena: I know, right? I tell him if he's mad at me, he needs to get over it.
Elena Haters: We hate you, Elena. Go die in a fire.
Damon: Heh. Oh, I'm over it.
Elena will not be ignored, so she hauls her cookies over to Mossy Manse, only to come face to face with Rebekah. She and her self-healing ball gown are just leaving. I am not going to a walk-of-shame place, because I think the public discourse is currently overloaded with judgments on female sexuality. Besides, Rebekah isn't ashamed. She's pleased as punch to rub her raunchy rendezvous in Elena's face.
Rebekah: Indeed. I'm also pleased Elena doesn't know how rude Damon just was. Ta ta for now.
Title Card.
Elena isn't pleased with Damon, for a number of reasons -- not least of all because Rebekah just tried to kill her. She asks Damon if this is how it's going to be -- she hurts his feelings, so he lashes out at her.
Damon: And she's totally right, but I tell her maybe, for once, something I did has nothing to do with her.
Elena tells Damon about Esther's linking spell and her plan to kill her spawn. He thinks that's nifty.
Damon: And keen. So Elena, why do you look like someone just shot a Panda Bear?
Elena: I tell him Elijah doesn't deserve this, and suggest he should perhaps care about Rebekah, since she just left his bed. He reminds me I hate Rebekah, which is totally beside the point, as I did not just finish banging Rebekah. When I go to leave, he Stealth-Salvatores himself right up in my face and tells me I'd better not do anything to screw this up. Then Stefan comes in and sides with Damon. I know you think I'm in love with both of them, Cindy, but I so hate them, right now.
Meanwhile, over at Klaus Haus, Elijah finds the remains of the sage Esther used for her privacy spell. When Rebekah gets home, Kol teases her about being out all night and calls her a strumpet, but I meant what I said about judging female sexuality. I'm bone tired of it, so screw you, Show. Yes, this is a lighthearted scene, and Kol is only kidding, but the timing couldn't have been worse for me. Anyhow, Kol guilts Klaus into going out for a drink or 90. On his way out the door, Kol also makes a crude comment to Rebekah. She throws a shoe at him, which I really appreciate, because it saves me from throwing my wine glass at my TV.
Elijah: I come in and tell Rebekah about the sage and the privacy spell.
Rebekah: I act like I'm Mummy's girl, even though we've barely spoken two words to one another, since she came back from the dead. Doesn't that seem weird, given how much I seemed to love her, earlier in the season?
Writers: *crickets*
Over at Caroline's, Bonnie, Elena and Caroline work to recreate Esther's privacy spell. Well, Bonnie works. Elena advises based on her observations of Esther. And Caroline stands outside the room, to see if she can still hear them, which she can. Elena vents a little about Damon, but when the conversation turns to Esther's plan to kill her children, Bonnie reveals she's not only all for it, but that Esther has enlisted her and Abby to help with her ritual. Esther will work her mojo tonight, gathering steam from all the Bennett witches who ever were, and the full moon. Elena remembers back to when Elijah found that elixir that would spare her life. She feels so guilty -- like she owes him.
Audience: Hey, we're all for keeping Elijah on our screens, Elena, but how come you don't remember how he eventually betrayed you all, and let Klaus live?
Elena: Because it's not in the script.
Bonnie: Caroline barges in, confirms the spell still isn't working and tells Elena to get over her Elijah guilt. I agree. Plus there's no time. It's going down tonight, and Abby and I are joining in.
Over at Mossy Manse, Damon brings two glasses of blood into the library and invites Stefan to join him in a victory drink. Stefan says they should wait 'til Klaus is dead. Damon loves having Stefan on his team, because it must be driving Elena crazy. Damon thinks someone needs to talk to Elena, so she doesn't screw up Esther's plan. The boys discuss Elena's jealous response to Damon's night with Rebekah. Damon tells his little brother he did him a favor. Now Stefan can sweep Elena off her feet. Stefan declines, saying she's better off without either of them. He's not wrong. When Damon leaves the room, Stefan stares at his glass of blood.
Elijah shows up at Gilbert Gables and invites Elena to accompany him.
Bob Seger: I pop into Cindy's office and infect her with an earworm.
Elijah: Elena, I want to show you something.
Audience: Is it your etchings?!!!
Elijah: Decidedly not. I drive Elena out to a wooded section of the old Lockwood Estate and drop a little 1,000 year old history on her. For instance, her school is built atop an old Indian Village.
Recapper: If you just spoiled me for the Big Bad, I'll dagger you, myself.
Elijah: No, you won't.
Recapper: True, but only because you're so pretty.
Imaginary Daniel Gillies: And then, I can't NOT grin as I mention the field where wild horses used to graze, because I'm not even American, and yet I know that there were no horses in the New World, 1,000 years ago. I'd say, "Crack a book, people," but with the internet, you don't even have to do that. I mean, the Vikings with Hebrew names in Virginia, with a Bulgarian -- that was one thing, but wild horses? Can't. Stifle. Grin.
Imaginary Nina Dobrev: I know, right. I'm so glad my face is hidden by these trees.
Elena Haters: So are we, but only because you're playing Elena, who should definitely die in a fire. No offense, Nina. We do like Katherine.
Recapper: Okay, people. This is a weecap. Deadline is the Saturday morning following the episode. It is Saturday morning, so I've got to cut this short.
Anyhow, Elijah confronts Elena. He knows she lied about her meeting with Esther, and he wants the truth. Elena, who has been drowning in guilt, spills to him. Elijah stomps his foot, not because he's a temperamental toddler, like Klaus, but rather -- to open up a hole in the ground. He wraps Elena in his arms. We covet Nina Dobrev's job. Elijah then swoops the two of them down to the caves/tunnels/whatever. Rebekah is there to keep an eye on Elena. The siblings plans to use her life as leverage, thereby forcing the rest of the Fellowship of the Falls to stop Esther.
The Salvatores don't know Elena has already confessed the plan to Elijah, so they try to figure out a way to keep her silent. Damon calls Alaric for some help. Alaric is at the Grill with Meredith and so does not want to play Damon's reindeer games. He does relish, however, telling Damon he knows he slept with Rebekah. Damon ribs Ric about being with the "sexy, psycho doctor." Alaric ends the call. It's then, that Damon notices Stefan never touched his glass of blood.
At the Grill, Meredith tells Alaric that his wounds were too far healed by the time she examined him. She can't tell him anything about who attacked him. He wonders why he can't remember. She says his head checked out fine and suggests compulsion. I suggest you slipped him some sort of amnesia agent, Mere, you psycho killer.
The Talking Heads: Qu'est-ce que c'est...
Esther meets with Bonnie and Abby outside the Which House-Witch House. She compliments Abby for stopping Mikael all those years ago, and Bonnie for battling Klaus. She then tells them about their ancestor, Anyana, whom she refers to as her mentor. She needs Abby and Bonnie to harness their bloodline's power, because as mother and daughter, they are Anyana's bloodline made manifest. She refers to them as her sisters, as she joins hands with them, and thanks them for helping her to bring peace to the spirits of Nature, whom they serve.
Audience: Wait. Anyana mentored Eloise Freaking Hawking? We've long suspected this Original Witch tag was b.s. and it is.
Writers: *crickets*
Audience: *Feels vindicated and yet oddly ripped off*
Elijah goes to Mossy Manse, to proposition the Salvatores. Not like that. Either they stop Esther, or Rebekah will kill Elena. The only apparent way to stop Esther is to break her tie to all the Bennett witches, ever. Bonnie and Abby are that tie. Kill them, or Rebekah will kill Elena.
Elijah: You have until six minutes after nine to find them.
Damon: Oh, how super specific of you.
Elijah: Full moon's at 9:07 PM, asshat.
Down in the caves, Rebekah takes pictures of Elena, to send to Damon and Stefan.
Elena: Hey, does her phone work down here? My phone doesn't. I bet my old phone would have. I HATE YOU STEFAN!
Rebekah: And I hate you so much, Elena, I'd almost be glad to die, just to kill you, you little, literal backstabber. Shit down and shut up.
Elena Haters: Marry us, Becky! Elena really needs to die in a fire.
Back at Mossy Manse, Damon finds Stefan mooning over an unopened bag of blood. Our beautiful Brothers Salvatore try to brainstorm. Damon's willing to kill Bonnie and/or Abby, if worst comes to worst. Stefan is more hesitant. Damon then suggests a "less diabolical plan." If they dagger one of the Original vampires, that should disable all of them (except Klaus), and will allow the Salvatores to save their girlfriend. They get Ric and Caroline to help. Klaus and Kol are already at the Grill, so Caroline shows up to distract Klaus. Ric daggers Kol. Back in the caves, Rebekah falls to the ground and starts to desiccate, as though she too had been daggered. Elena runs.
Meanwhile, outside the Which House-Witch House, Esther has drawn a pentacle. She has the self-loathing Finn at the center of it. Bonnie and Abby are there. Esther explains that since she cast the spell that made her children vampires, she can unvamp them with this spell. Once they're human, they're killable. She praises Finn for his brave willingness to serve as her sacrifice. Finn says, "It's not a sacrifice. It's a gift." When Alaric daggers Kol, as mentioned above, Finn collapses and starts to desiccate. Esther says something has gone wrong. Gee. Ya think?
Outside the Grill, Klaus is trying to chat up Caroline. It's a great scene. The chemistry between Candice Accola and Joseph Morgan continues to dazzle. When Klaus senses that Kol has been daggered, I suspect the linking spell is what tips him off. He finds Ric, Mere, Stefan and Damon dragging brother Kol out behind the Grill. Klaus quickly undaggers him. Alaric is injured in the scuffle. Damon tells Klaus about Esther's plan to off him and his siblings. Kol comes back to life, almost immediately. Elijah arrives and stops Klaus from killing the Salvatores.
Back in the cave, Rebekah soon returns to life, but fortunately, she throws Elena into the No-Vamps-Allowed chamber. Eventually though, Rebekah returns with a can of gasoline. She can't enter the chamber, but the gasoline can. She splashes it all over Elena and her surroundings, and then starts lighting matches and tossing them at Elena.
Elena Haters: Yes! Die in a fire. Die in a fire. She's gonna die in this fire, right?
Recapper: No. Elena manages to talk Rebekah out of ending her life, by reminding Rebekah that if she kills her tonight, she won't be able to torture her tomorrow.
Elena Haters: *Pout*
Along with Elijah, Kol and Klaus set out for the Which House-Witch House, to stop mummy from killing them. When Esther sees them coming, she tells the Bennett women to hide inside. Esther is standing inside her magic circle/pentagram, so her spawn can't get to her.
Stefan and Damon realize they have to end the magical bloodline, if they're going to save their girlfriend. Damon notes that only one of them has to do the actual "deed" -- which means only one of them has to incur Elena's wrath. They're both still unhappily in love with her, so they flip a coin (not a metaphor) to see who must do the dirty work and take the hit with Ms. Gilbert.
Down in the basement of the Which House-Witch House, Stefan grabs Bonnie. He tells her that the Bennett bloodline has to be broken, if they're going to save Elena's life. Bonnie thinks Stefan means to kill her, but oh no! Upstairs, Damon has grabbed Abby. He forces his blood on her, then snaps her neck. She won't be dead, she'll be undead, but as has been previously established in Esther's backstory, if a witch turns into a vampire, she loses her woo, because there's no such thing as a witchpire, sillies. Smart plan, Salvatores. I mean Bonnie's going to hate you for it, and Elena probably will too, because she's made it patently clear she will die for her friends, but I still think that vamping move was spectacularly practical. Well played, Damon.
Outside, the flames on Esther's five torches flare. When the fire dies out, Klaus, Kol and Elijah are left looking at the empty pentagram. Where did Finn and Esther go? Hey, wait!!!
Well, never mind that, because it turns out Damon played it better than I could have hoped. When the boys have a post-mortem, back at Mossy Manse, we learn Stefan lost the coin toss. He should have been the one to turn a Bennett. Damon explains he knows Stefan has been eschewing even bagged human blood. When he asks little bro how long it's been, Stefan says he hasn't had the good stuff since the night he forced his blood on Elena, threatened to drive her off Wickery Bridge, and THREW OUT HER CELL PHONE. (I need to retire that, don't I? It's just -- I have a daughter. There's no coming back from throwing out a girl's cell, ya know? Sorry. I'll be good.)
Damon reckons Stefan is already wallowing in guilt, and since he's slowly becoming more like his old self, Damon selflessly decided to take the hit with their girlfriend. Oh, my heart. I love moments like these between the brothers. Stefan says he knows Damon still loves Elena. Damon says, "I do. I thought I could win her from you fair and square. She didn't want me. It's for the best. I'm better at being the bad guy, anyway." Oh Damon, who are you fooling? I mean, you're great at being the bad guy, but there's no way you're going to give up hope -- at least not deep down inside.
When Rebekah gets word that the spell has been foiled, she releases Elena, who goes to check up on Bonnie and Abby. Caroline is with the Bennetts (I think at her house), helping Bonnie watch over the transitioning Abby, and she won't let Elena in. Caroline says Bonnie loves Elena, and is glad she's not dead and all, but is a little sick of being the one who always gets hurt. Poor Bonnie (although clearly, she's not the one who always gets hurt). Poor Elena. Poor everybody.
When Elena gets home to Gilbert Gables, she finds a note on her bed. It's from Elijah.
Elijah's note: Elena, today I did things I abhor, to protect the one thing I value most -- my family. If anyone can understand it, it's you. Your compassion is a gift, Elena. Carry it with you, as I will carry my regret. Always and forever. Elijah.
Recapper: *Swoon*
Back at Klaus Haus, Elijah talks to Rebekah. He's wallowing in self-loathing, even though that's totally Stefan's job, now. Elijah hates himself for tormenting an innocent. Rebekah, speaking for Elena Haters everywhere, says Elena is no innocent. Elijah says, "And I used your hatred of her to get what I wanted -- wielded you like I would a sword. My sister." Rebekah reminds him he was saving their lives. "We deserve to live. We're better than they are." Elijah says, "Are we? Mother made us vampires. She didn't make us monsters. We did that to ourselves." He walks out.
Rebekah finds Klaus burning up all his Caroline etchings. He says, "I thought you'd have gone, by now. Elijah's leaving. Kol has fled. Esther and Finn are gone, too."
Rebekah: I hated you when I learned you killed Mummy. Now I'm thinking you and I make a splendid team, since we're the only two left, and all.
Klaus: Gee, thanks.
Rebekah: Hey, you wanna to know a secret. While I was terrorizing Elena, I got a good gander at those cave paintings. Remember that White Oak tree?
Klaus: We don't need no water, let the Mother ______ burn! LOL.
Rebekah: Yeah, well we must have forgot about acorns, doofus.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Piglet likes to call them haycorns.
Recapper: Silly old bear, you so do not belong in this weecap. Run along now, before you get tainted.
Rebekah: Anyhow, Klaus, this is North America. It's loaded with oaks. Or, rather, I saw a cave painting that indicates the natives were still worshipping at the foot of another white oak, 300 years after we fled back to the Old World. That tree could kill us. It's not over, Nik.
Audience: Seriously?
Recapper: Yep.
Alaric is at Meredith's place, letting her care for him. He's got a bump on his noggin and probably a broken rib, so he crashes on her couch. When he wakes, he heads to her kitchen to find some aspirin. Wait. He's putting it his mouth? I thought you were supposed to put aspirin between your knees. Huh. Anyhow, Ric finds a file about him, and other files concerning people like dead Bill Forbes and dead Medical Examiner Brian. He also finds the knife that was used in the attacks, and he knows that knife! Suddenly, Meredith appears and says, "You weren't supposed to find that." Sheesh, Mere. Then stick in it a drawer or something. She ignores me, takes out a gun and shoots Alaric. I suppose I should have used an exclamation point there, but Alaric has died so many times, I'm numb to it. I'm just hoping that Mere is something supernatural, and couldn't parse the screwy ring mythology. Better still, maybe she hit Alaric in the liver. That sucker can take abuse.
If you read the recaplet (which was actually more of a review, this time), you already know I had some trouble grading the episode. Now that I've watched a few more times, and written it up, I am adjusting my grade down to a B-. I think the performances were solid, but I'm tired of Elena being used as the damsel in distress. I'm not crazy about how Bonnie is used, and I'm tired of Ric getting killed. I would like Ric to stay on the show for a good long time, but not if they're just going to keep killing him. Right now, I'm having a hard time caring if he'll be back when the show returns from this mini-hiatus. I'm pretty sure that's not what the writing staff has in mind.
I do love everything that happened between the Salvatore boys. Their brotherly love story is every bit as important to the love triangle as are their relationships with Elena. When the show returns, I would really love to see Elena decide she needs to get away from the Salvatore boys for a while -- not to say that she should shun them. I would just like to see her set some boundaries. Assuming Ric recovers, I would expect and hope he would have her back, where Stefan and Damon are concerned. I know Damon has already declared his shot with her to be a lost cause. I know Stefan knows he's not good for Elena. But you know -- I'd like to see Elena make some choices. Whether the guys realize it or not, they're treating her like an object. I want her to have a say, and for now, I wish her say would say, "Say hey, no way."
The show is on hiatus 'til March 15, 2012. In the meantime, you can find me on Twitter. Before you leave, please grade the episode up top, and then join us in the forum, always and forever.