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Welcome back, readers, and welcome back show! It was a long, hot summer, and while fall is in the air here at TWoP's Boston satellite, The Vampire Diaries isn't ready to let things cool down yet. It's Elena's birthday, but she's hardly in the mood for a celebration, since she hasn't heard from Stefan since Satan Klaus brought out his inner ripper. Elena's been trying to track him all summer, but every time she brings a lead to Damon, he tries to make her think her cause is hopeless. That's because Damon is also tracking Stefan, and what he has found is disturbing. From the trail of bodies up and down the Eastern Seaboard, it seems Stefan is so deep in ripper mode he may never break free of either Klaus, or his own demons.
Now that Klaus is a true hybrid, he's man with a mission. He and Stefan hunt down and torture a werewolf and get information on his pack, who they plan to use to build Klaus his own little army of hybrids. Klaus knows Stefan still retains some humanity though, and that it's all wrapped up in his love for Damon and Elena, so, as a test of loyalty, Klaus makes Stefan send them a message. And Stefan does just that. He returns to Mystic Falls, and compels Damon's girlfriend/chew-toy, Andie to leap to her death at the news station, right before Damon's pretty, pretty eyes. The message is clear: back off, brother, I'm not coming back.
At the big, unwanted birthday bash that Caroline's throwing for Elena at Mossy Manse, Matt is cold to Caroline and Tyler's getting hot with another girl, so Caroline retreats to Damon's room for a bag o' blood. Elena needs a breather too, and finds Caroline there. It's not long before the girls stumble upon Damon's map and stash of articles about "animal attacks" that prove Damon has been tracking Stefan all along. When Damon returns from watching poor Andie die, Elena confronts him about his secret search and demands to know why he didn't let her in on it. The reason is simple, that long trail of victim's aren't Klaus's kills. They're Stefan's. Damon tells her that the Stefan she knows and loves is gone, and will not be back -- at least not in her lifetime.
In other news, Jeremy is still being haunted by Vicki and Anna, so he starts smoking pot again. He shares a joint with Matt at the party, and later they satisfy their munchies with ice cream at Gilbert Gables. Eventually, Jeremy confides in Matt that he's been seeing visions of Vicki ever since he died and Bonnie brought him back to life, but Matt doesn't get it, and really doesn't want to. He's trying so hard to draw a line between his life and the supernatural world.
Meanwhile, Tyler and Caroline argue about his attempts to hook up with a girl at the party. Tyler makes it clear to Caroline that since she refused him in the past, if she wants him, she has to make the first move. She kisses his face off, which is a pretty good first move. They rush from Mossy Manse to the Lockwood Mansion where they make all the other moves. Once their supernatural sex drives are sated, Tyler falls asleep, because he's still a guy. Caroline throws her clothes back on and tries to sneak out, but is confronted by Carol Lockwood. Caroline thinks this is just an embarrassing, awkward moment, but oh, no! It's so much more. Carol has doused Caroline's purse with vervain, so when Caroline picks it up on her way out, her hand starts to smoke. This is all the proof Carol needs. She shoots Caroline in the back with several vervain darts and our Vampire Barbie is down for the count.
There's more, so much more, so I'll be back with the full weecap ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where the only chaperone is Alaric, so bottoms up!
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!We're back! Did you know hiatus is from the Latin for yawn? Doesn't that explain so much? Ugh. Why can't all the shows I like give me new episodes whenever I want to watch them. That's how it will work, when I take over the world (also there will be mandatory snacks and naps), but for now, we just have to put up with the status quo (which is Latin for... status quo). Let's get right to it. You ready? Okay.
Night, Tennessee. A young blonde woman walks out onto the porch of a white house, and whistles for her dog named Rudy. Satan Klaus startles her and then startles me by talking with an American accent. He tells her his car ran out of gas and his cell phone battery died. Clearly, he wants an invitation, but the woman tells him she'll get the phone and bring it out to him. Klaus drops the accent and growls that he thought country folk were supposed to be trusting. Blondie purses her lips and bobs her head. "I'm from Florida." Her 'tude doesn't impress Klaus. He throttles her, because it's not an official episode of The Vampire Diaries until at least one person has been throttled, and compels her to show him a little Southern Hospitality. Inside, a young African American woman is cooking. I hope for her sake that the show is still in love with only casting African Americans in roles that involve witchcraft, because maybe then she'll be able to save herself and her friend, but no dice. Klaus is looking for a guy named Ray Sutton. Ms. Sadly-not-a-witch makes a run for it, but when she gets to the door, she opens it only to find Stefan standing there. Sadly-not-a-witch admits that Ray is in the border town of Tulley. "At a bar named Southern Comfort. It's off highway 41. Thanks for the earworm, writers. Klaus compels blondie to invite Stefan in and then hands her over to him. "Kill this one quickly." He turns his gaze to Sadly-not-a-witch and adds, "Make that one suffer." As Klaus the louse leaves the house, Blondie begs for her life, but Stefan dons his game face and sinks his fangs into her neck. Outside, Klaus smiles as he hears the women screaming. It amuses me that Klaus so enjoys corrupting Stefan, that he doesn't stay and take part in the fun. Title card.
Elena wakes, opens the curtains and then goes into Jeremy's room to do the same, but the camera work and editing at first make it look like she was sharing a room (bed) with Germ. I'd appreciate the artistry, were the characters not siblings, but instead, it made me worry that I was going to learn something I'd never want to know about these two. Hey, don't blame me! Both Nina and Steven have great chemistry with everyone, especially each other. I stuck up for them when he rested his head on her lap last year, but don't tease this angle too much, Show. We know you're not going there, and it's squicky enough to take me out of the moment, as this digression surely demonstrates.
Jeremy is late for work at the Grill. Elena tells him Matt just called for him. Jeremy says, "Maybe they'll fire me. Elena snarks, "Aim high," as she walks out of his room. Caroline then calls Elena from downtown. She's shopping for the unwanted birthday party she's throwing our young Miss Gilbert, and has news of a possible Stefan sighting from her mom, Sheriff Liz Forbes. "An animal attack in Memphis. It's the third one this week in Tennessee." That's our boy. In the kitchen, Alaric is struggling to operate the coffee maker. Elena nudges him aside and just presses the "on" button. Wow, "Ric," that was complicated. No wonder you couldn't do it. As Elena ends the call, she begs Caroline to keep tonight's party small, but Caroline ignores her, says, "Wear something pretty," and hangs up to greet Tyler, who is walking down the street toward her.
Back at Gilbert Gables, Alaric asks about the Stefan intel. Elena says they think they've found three more "Klaus victims." Oh Elena, it's not Klaus, even though the killings are being done at his bidding. Alaric asks if she's certain Stefan is still with Klaus. Elena: "Easy to be certain, when the alternative is that he's dead." As Alaric folds up his blanket on the couch, Elena reminds him he's free to take one of the empty bedrooms, and exposits that he's been crashing on the couch for half the summer. Alaric prefers it to either her dead parents' room or his dead girlfriend's room. And you know, I get why he doesn't want to sleep in Jenna's room. He'd miss her too much. But he didn't even know Elena's parents, and it's not like they died in that bedroom or anything. I don't know. I just think it's dumb that he doesn't sleep in their room, but as we'll see throughout the episode, Alaric feels incompetent and unsettled, so I guess his inability to press the coffee maker's on button, and his couch-sleeping are supposed to be signifiers of this. And they are, they're just a little clunky. As Elena grabs her keys and purse, Alaric calls out a sad little, "Hey, Elena, happy birthday." Elena gives him a wan smile. "Thanks."
Mossy Manse. Damon is chugging champagne and taking a bubble bath in his awesome tub, in his awesome bathroom. I think I've just found my happy place. When the bottle is empty, he tries to get his compelled chew toy/girlfriend, Ace Lady Reporter Andie to get some more, but she's dressed and getting ready for work, and points out she doesn't drink in the morning. "You can get it yourself. I'm not your slave." Well, honey, technically... never mind. It's fun that Damon doesn't have you compelled to the point where you're a zombie. That's very Damon of him. Even when it's not real, he tries to keep it a little real. Damon gets out of the tub and his nekkidness is only barely obscured by his artfully placed bathroom decor. It's hard to decide which appeals to me more. Since my back is so messed up that I can only sit up for a short amount of time, I'm leaning toward the bathroom. I wonder if there are whirlpool jets in that tub. There totally should be. That would make the choice easier for me, too. No offense, Damon. He doesn't care. He doesn't even bother to towel off as he struts out of the bathroom, leaving a trail of water and bubbles behind him. And you know, I really enjoy the view, but I sort of feel badly for the actors when they're treated like everyone's cheesecake. I know it's part of the job, but still... I'm sorry. All I do is lie in bed, lately. I clearly have too much time to think, because I should just be thanking the show, shutting up and not biting the hand that feeds me cheesecake.
Damon wanders downstairs just as Elena enters and smirks a good morning to her. She thinks he heard her and showed up in nothing but bubbles on purpose. He doesn't correct her, probably because he would have done the same thing even if he wasn't in search of more champagne. Instead he just tells her she should learn to knock. "What if I was indecent." Evil Pixie Monster! Elena has the good grace not to remind him that technically, Mossy Manse is in her name. Now, she turned her back on him as soon as she realized he was naked, so she finds a blanket on the back of a chair and tosses it behind her in his general direction. Damon smirks as he covers up from the hips down. Eyes covered, Elena is faces him. Finally, she peeks (it's a cute move) and sees that he's more or less covered now, so she drops her hand and tells him about Sheriff Forbes' new lead on Stefan. Damon pooh poohs the information as yet another dead end, so Elena says she'll go investigate by herself. Damon's against that. Klaus thinks she's dead and it's safer for her if he keeps thinking that, so Damon (seemingly) reluctantly agrees to check it out.
Once Elena is gone, Damon goes upstairs and discusses the lead with Andie. Despite dismissing it to Elena's face, he is taking it quite seriously. He's taking the whole search seriously. He has a closet full of leads, and a map with pins marking all the possible Stefan sightings. Andie thinks this new lead might have legs, too. "That Florida victim you had me look into had family in Tennessee." She can't go with Damon to check it out, but she'll see if she can dig up an address. Damon kisses her and Andie says she'll see him at the party. Once she's gone, my possible favorite Damon moment of all time happens. He turns his Evil Pixie Monster eye-thing on his own closet full of leads. Ha. I mean, what is that? He's hilarious with that schtick. I can't stop laughing and I'm not even on muscle relaxers right now.
Mystic Grill. Jeremy's working in the kitchen and video chatting with Bonnie in a Motorola phone product placement that is way less annoying than those Bing ones were last season. We won't see Bonnie for the rest of the episode. She's away spending time with relatives, and Jeremy's bored without her. Bonnie feels the same. "My dad's side of the family is like wet paint that never dries." So... they're smelly, sticky and kind of a mess, then -- like the simile you just butchered? Okee dokee. When Jeremy complains about work, Bonnie lectures that a summer job is good for him. "You needed some normal in your life." Just then, there's a buzz in the kitchen and the lights go out. Jeremy's clearly alarmed. Bonnie asks, "What was that?" Jeremy writes it off as nothing and tries to rush to get off the phone. Bonnie wants to know if he's okay. He insists he is and ends the call way too quickly. Just then, the lights go out again. When they come back on, Vicki is standing in front of him. He drops his phone, says her name and she's gone. When he stoops to pick up the phone, Anna is behind him. As she reaches to touch his back, the kitchen doors start to open. Anna disappears before anyone sees her, even the Germ. Matt bursts in the kitchen. "I need you to switch sections with me." It seems Caroline and Tyler just sat in his section, and Matt yells that he doesn't feel like waiting on his ex-girlfriend. Matt, you know you're my Pudding Pop, but it is your fault that she is your ex.
At an outdoor table, Caroline tells Tyler that his mother was eying her strangely the other day. Just then, Jeremy walks up, greets them, and gives them their menus. There are no flies on Caroline. "Did Matt make you switch sections?" When Jeremy just shrugs, Caroline looks at Tyler. "He thinks we're dating." Tyler says, "So does my mother." When Caroline acts like that's preposterous, Ty adds, "We're together all the time. It's not a leap." Caroline laughs nervously. "That's crazy." Tyler tries to pretend he agrees. "Right?" As they both turn their gazes to quickly to their menu, Jeremy smiles. He knows they're dating, even if they don't.
Tulley, Southern Comfort Bar. Ray Sutton walks in and orders a drink. Tubey nudges me and points out that it's David "Simon Camden" Gallagher playing him. Big TWoPping deal, Tubey. Anyhow, Klaus walks up and confirms it's Ray and then gives him the whole big story of how he's been tracking Ray. Ray, understandably finds this creepy and goes to leave, but Stefan's standing on the other side and stops him. Ray quickly realizes at least some of what he's dealing with. "Vampires." Klaus clarifies that while Stefan is a vampire, Klaus is a vampire/werewolf hybrid. He goes on to say he wants to create more of his own kind and wants Ray to direct him to his pack. Ray refuses by pointing out that as a werewolf, he's immune to vampyric compulsion. That's when Stefan takes over. He's got some wolfsbane and somehow already has all the humans in this bar under his compulsion. Now how that keeps any other humans from entering for the rest of the night is beyond me, but whatever. Klaus says this going to be fun. I really hate Klaus. I mean that in the way I'm supposed to. He's an effective monster.
Tennessee. Alaric and Damon arrive at the house we saw in the opening scene. Damon shuts off his phone to avoid an incoming call from Elena. Alaric doesn't understand why Damon won't just tell her he is still tracking Stefan. Damon doesn't want to get her hopes up. Alaric says it's hard to be Damon's accomplice when he's "practically" living at Elena's house. Damon: "Still sleeping on the couch?" Alaric: "You know, I keep waiting for them to kick me out, but they don't. I don't know why. It's not like I'm helping or anything." As they survey the house, the guys agree it's far too quiet, before they walk in. When Damon has no trouble entering without an invite, it's clear the residents are dead. They take in all the blood and mess around the house and then find the corpses of Blondie and Sadly-not-a-witch, sitting straight up on the couch.
Still standing in the living room doorway, Alaric says, "Vampire for sure." Damon corrects him. "It's Stefan, for sure... It's his signature. There's a reason they call him 'the Ripper'. He feeds so hard he blacks out and rips them apart. But then, when he's done, he feels remorse." He shakes his head as he approaches the victims. "It's the damnedest thing." Damon raises his foot to Blondie's knee and starts shaking it. When her head finally falls off her shoulders and to the floor, he adds, "He puts the bodies back together." Alaric's voice is no more than a whisper. "Back together?" Damon grimaces as he looks at Blondie's head on the rug. "Definitely Stefan." There's some rich, subtle work by Matthew Davis and Ian Somerhalder here. Alaric is very much the horrified human at this grisly sight. It's not that Damon is pleased, enjoying the carnage, or even admiring it. He's clearly not glad that Stefan is so far gone again, but he is, if not sanguine, at least more accepting or much less repulsed by it all, as a vampire should be, even one who's getting back in touch with his humanity and is trying to be reasonably good (if we grade on a curve and forgive his compulsion of and feeding off of Andie). Kudos to both actor, and to director John Behring, too.
Mossy Manse. Elena is helping Caroline and Tyler prepare for her own birthday party -- the one she doesn't even want. Someone needs to remind our girl how to say "no" it seems. Here, allow me. Hey, Elena! Over here. You just lost your Aunt Jenna and your Uncle Daddy. Your Demon Lover has sacrificed his "soul" if not himself, to save his Evil Pixie Monster brother and is cutting a bloody swath up the East Coast. Your history teacher/husband of your late, vampyric bio-mom, who is also the lover of your aforementioned late aunt is camped out on your couch. You have no discernible source of income, and have to wake your sleepyhead little brother every day for his probably sub-minimum wage job waiting tables at your hangout. If you don't want a party, you don't have to have one. And even if you do want one, I don't see why you have to help set up for it. I mean really. Tsk. She's not listening to me, either. I thought I got through to these characters last season and that they'd started taking my direction, but they seem to have regressed over the summer. Damn it.
Elena complains, not about having to set up for her own party, but about how Damon seems to discount all her leads on Stefan. Tyler: "Maybe he doesn't want to find him." Caroline: "Tyler!" Tyler turns to Caroline, "What?" He then says to Elena, "He's into you. Isn't he?" Elena ignores that and explains for the new viewers that Stefan only left in the first place, to save Damon's life, so of course Damon wants to find him. Tyler: "But...you kissed him. Probably screwed with his head." Caroline: "Tyler!" Elena can't believe how much Caroline has told Tyler, but she only says so through her mostly bemused expression. When Caroline apologizes, Elena shakes her head and says, "Don't worry about it. Yes. I kissed him. But it was... it was a goodbye kiss." She looks like she doesn't fully believe herself as she too quickly adds, "I thought he was gonna die." Tyler rolls his eyes and shrugs. My husband Scott translates this gesture for me: "Tyler's saying, Damon's a guy who is in love with you. He doesn't give a shit about why you kissed him. He's dealing in concrete facts. You kissed him." Ha.
Elena realizes she missed a call from Bonnie and excuses herself to call her back, leaving Caroline alone with Tyler, to deliver the best quote of the whole night. "Just because I tell you things doesn't mean you're allowed to know them." Tyler says he's sorry and then says he has to run if he's going to pick up Sophie in time for the party. Caroline is surprised he's bringing a date. She whips around to face him. "You're bringing a date... Slutty Sophie is your date?!" Tyler says things have been kind of slow in that department and frankly, he's horny all the time now. Caroline admits that that's one of her problems now that she's a vampire -- her sex drive is all revved up. Tyler says the same thing is true of werewolves. They are awkward and adorable, because just talking about their increased desire is turning them both on. They'll be knocking boots before the hour is up, I am sure. Okay, that's not fair of me to say because I've watched it multiple times, but I thought that first time I watched it, and was sure by the time Caroline tells him she hopes he gets lucky that night, that he'd be getting lucky with her. I would have said it aloud, but my 12 year old daughter was watching with my husband and me, and more about that later, believe you me.
All three actors did a great job with that whole scene. I like the easy rapport between Tyler and Elena. It makes sense, since Matt was Ty's best friend forever and she was Matt's girl forever, and their parents worked together on the Watchers' Council or whatever we call it in Mystic Falls. I am really pleased by the way the writers and Michael Trevino have developed the Tyler Lockwood character. In season one, he was an angry, nasty, attempted date-rapist and I wanted to smack him. Caroline became a better (and more tolerable) person and character when she became a monster, and the same is true for Ty. The difference is, I am surprised when it comes to Tyler. I expected Candice Accola could give me a Caroline I could stand, and, within the confines of the text, I knew the character had to have some redeeming qualities for Elena and Bonnie to love her so. I never, for a minute, imagined that the writers or Trevino would be able to give me a sympathetic and likable Tyler Lockwood. In "The Birthday" he is at turns funny, intense, sympathetic, and sexy. Bravo. If it weren't for Paul Wesley's upcoming, stunning work, I'd easily name Trevino the episode's MVP.
Tennessee House. Damon douses the living room with gasoline because while Klaus and Stefan don't care about covering their tracks, he does. Before he lights the match though, he hears the floor creak under his feet. He lifts up the rug and finds a trap door to the basement. Opening it, he finds shackles and chains. "Well what do you know? Werewolves." This confused me at first, because certainly the dead women were not werewolves. Well, at least Blondie wasn't, because she was compellable. Sadly-not-a-witch could have been. She'd have no way to fight back unless it was her... time of the month, but if she was a wolf, Klaus would have turned her into one of his hybrids, instead of letting Stefan kill her. But then I remembered that Klaus got the women to admit that Ray Sutton returned to that house, at least once a month -- i.e. full moon time. So, even if neither victim was a werewolf, they must have provided monthly kennel club service, so... never mind. I really didn't understand the purpose of this discovery at first, but I guess it's to tip Damon and Alaric off to Klaus and Stefan's mission, and the progress they're making. Now why Klaus didn't just grab Tyler while he was still in Mystic Falls -- I can't figure that out. He seemed to be pretty all-knowing, and even if he didn't know Tyler was a wolf, he knew there was one in town, because he knew Damon had been bitten. And since Klaus used Jules as the wolfy ingredient in his spell last season, smart money says he knows exactly what Tyler is. For know, I guess I'm just going to have to fanwank that Stefan decided to cover for Tyler and steered Klaus away from him and out of town. Anyhow, Damon drops the match, throws his hands in the air and he and Alaric leave the burning house.
Tulley, Southern Comfort Bar. Ray is chained to the wall with his head in front of the dart board. Stefan dips his darts in the wolfsbane-tainted booze and throws them at Ray indiscriminately, as he asks where his pack gathers for the full moon. Wait. What? Didn't they gather at that house, hence the chains? And didn't Klaus know that, since he told the women he knew Ray must come home at least once a month? Am I over-thinking this? I still haven't taken a muscle relaxer. Maybe it's the pain talking. Okay. I'll move on.
Ray can't give up his pack, but despite his sense of whimsy (and I'm so glad there's some whimsy in Stefan's Ripper), Stefan won't take no for an answer. Nodding his head in Klaus's direction, Stefan says, "I know. I know. You live by a code and all that, but see he's not going to let me stop until you tell me. And I do whatever he says. That's the way it goes around here." If it didn't hurt to stand suddenly, I'd be on my feet giving Paul Wesley a standing ovation for his delivery there. His tone starts out light hearted, conveying that he does indeed take some pleasure in torturing Ray, even though Stefan probably never watched an episode 7th Heaven is his unnaturally long life. But then, Wesley manages to show the slightest hint of real concern for Ray, that he swiftly shoves down behind a veneer of faux concern. Watching him, I feel like Stefan is both sickened by himself and proud of himself (in a twisted way) by the time he's telling Ray that Klaus is running the show. I could seriously go on about his performance in this one scene for another hour, but you don't want to read that and my back can't handle it. He's humiliated and yet liberated by remaining under Klaus's thumb. I wondered all summer if Paul and the writers could pull this off in a way that didn't make me want to stake Stefan. Going by this episode, it seems they've laid down just the right path.
Anyhoooooo, while Stefan is tormenting Ray and delighting the people who loved to hate the Camdens, Klaus gets a tip from a compelled bar patron, Claudine, that she saw Stefan's brother at the Tennessee farm house. Klaus thanks her and encourages her to keep her eyes open. Stefan hears all this and leaves Ray to ask Klaus about Damon. Klaus says Damon is still on their trail. "He's getting closer. I'm going to have to deal with that." As Klaus walks off, Stefan grabs his arm and pulls him back. "No, no, no. Let me handle that." Klaus raises his eyebrows as he turns to face Stefan. "Why should I let you leave?" Stefan: "Because you know I'll come back." Klaus: "Do I?" Stefan: "You saved my brother's life, I'm in your service." Klaus sighs. "Oh, that almost sounds so tediously indentured. Aren't you even having the littlest bit of fun?" He smiles as he gestures towards the blood-soaked Ray, who still has darts sticking out of his forehead and chest. Stefan redirects the conversation. "I'll make sure my brother doesn't bother us anymore."
Mossy Manse, Stefan's room. Elena dresses in a lacy, off-white baby doll dress, that looks like a nightie if you ask me, but Dobrev manages to pull it off, because she won the gene pool lottery where looks are concerned. She sees Damon watching her and as she turns to face him, she tells him not to worry. She's not going to lose it, tonight, " At least not before the cake." Damon smiles as he shrugs. "It's your party. You can cry if you want to." Okay, I liked the Allman Brothers earworm better, but that made me chuckle. Damon walks all the way in the room and sighs about Stefan being such a pack rat. And he's not wrong. Someone should throw out that horrendous fleur de lis wall decoration. Damon picks up a photo of a happy looking Elena and Stefan and considers it a moment before gently returning it to his place, and announcing that he got something for Elena. She had forbidden him from buying her a birthday present and as he hands her the box, he insists he didn't. Elena: "You stole it?" Hee. No, it seems Alaric found her old Vervain containing necklace at his loft. Elena is touched by the gesture and glad to have this little bit of Stefan back. She looks lost in her thoughts as Damon puts the necklace on her. He offers her his arm and says, "Shall we." Commercial.
Downstairs, the party Elena never wanted is dialed up to eleven. The Manse is packed and the crowd (there's too many to call them guests) is so rowdy, you'd think they took their marching orders from Tom Brady. Damon spots a young woman with a bottle from his personal stash and quickly compels her. "You don't want that. You want the cheap young stuff, over by the cheap young people." Wheeeeee! Great delivery from Ian there, and a great line too, because after all, he's more than a century old. No matter how young he looks and acts, you know there has to be a bit of a grumpy old man inside that handsome young package. As Damon drinks from his rescued bottle and Caroline drags Elena off for drinks, Jeremy and Matt are getting high in another room. Oh no. Jeremy's hair looks really good. If he's going to be using again, can he at least keep looking like this. My daughter is horrified (and I'm thankful that she is) that Jeremy is smoking pot again and surprised and disgusted that Matt's partaking, too. The boys' conversation turns to how Jeremy has been seeing "things" since he died and Bonnie magically brought him back to life. When Matt asks what sort of things, Jeremy realizes that Matt is the brother of one of those things, so he demurs. At any rate, he's using that as an excuse for sparking up.
Elena and Caroline are surprised when they wander into the "Stoner Den" and see Matt walking out. Matt completely ignores Caroline, but gives Elena a happy birthday kiss as he heads back into the rowdier sections of the party. Caroline is certain Matt hates her and that his hatred of her has driven him to drugs. Elena laughs and says, "No, he hates that he's not with you." Well, again, that was his choice, wasn't it? When Elena realizes that Jeremy is in there toking up, she hands Caroline her drink and we cut to...
Patio. Alaric sighs as he tells Damon, "I am every parent's worst nightmare. I am the chaperone-teacher from Hell." When Damon declares his love of high school parties, Alaric asks when Andie's due to arrive. Damon says, "Ten o'clock broadcast. She'll be here in a little bit." Elena walks out to join them so he adds, "Hello, birthday girl." Elena, who just handed her drink off to Caroline, then demands Damon's drink and takes a big swig. The whole thing is a little weird, and funny, since she's only 18 and I'm pretty sure Damon's not drinking iced tea. She raises her glass toward an already guilty-looking Alaric as she complains that Jeremy's smoking pot again. Damon: "Is his stash any good?" Elena tells him he's an ass and then asks Alaric to please talk to Jeremy. "He looks up to you." Once she's gone, Alaric, who seemingly hasn't been 100% sober at all since May looks to Damon as if to say, "Me?" Damon laughs. "You're screwed."
WPKW Channel 9 News station. Andie's on the phone with her boss or co-worker Dave. She's trying to get off the phone and explains that she's the last person there, yet again. "I have a party I have to get to, and you have got to get a life." She grabs her bag or something off the anchor desk and is ready to leave when someone turns on a brilliant spotlight. Andie can't see and doesn't appreciate whoever is playing with her. She thinks it's a prank at first. We know it's Stefan, even before we see the silhouette of his poofy little hairdo. Once she's finally creeped out, she runs for the exit, but is either intentionally tripped or trips over some wire. When she gets up and starts to run again, Stefan finally reveals himself. At first she is relieved and tells him they've been looking everywhere for him. When Stefan doesn't answer, and starts to vamp out, Andie's relief gives way once more to terror. Commercial.
Back at the party, things are still loud and rowdy. Caroline is swilling down a bottle of booze as she watches Tyler and Sophie dance sexily with each other. Matt walks up and says, "Since when are they a thing?" Caroline says, "I thought you were ignoring me." He says he's not. She shoots back that he's hardly said five words to her all summer. Matt says, "Maybe because every time I've seen you, you've been with him." Caroline says that's because Tyler is her friend. She then gives Matt a look. "...Which is what I thought you were." Matt's still bitching about Caroline hanging so much with Tyler and says he thought vampires and werewolves are supposed to be mortal enemies. Caroline shushes him, because they're in a middle of a crowd and she's not really ready to come out to the whole town. Matt pleads that he's out of it, apologizes and walks away.
When Tyler and Sophie walks up, Tyler wants to know what happened with Caroline and Matt, but she just tells him, "Nothing." Sophie smiles. "Great party, Caroline. Caroline flashes back a fake smile and with her voice unnaturally high says, "Thanks." The camera zooms in on Caroline's right eye. She turns on the compulsion glare and her voice drops two octaves as she adds, "Now leave it." Ha! Tyler's all, "What the hell?" But Caroline ignores him and storms off.
Back on the patio, Damon's putting away his cell phone as he tells Alaric that Andie wants him to pick her up. Alaric says, "You mean your fake, compelled girlfriend wants you to be a chivalrous boyfriend." Damon smirks. "Well, it's a complicated dynamic." Indeedy it is. He tells Alaric to hold the fort down in his absence. Alaric says, "You mean the fort full of my drunk history students?" Damon: "Drink more. It'll feel less weird."
Upstairs, Caroline yells out, "This room is off limits," until she realizes it's Elena entering Damon's room. Caroline's there to take a beat and drink a bag of blood. When she asks if Elena if she's hiding, Elena says she was just looking for Damon. Caroline says he'd better be there somewhere because they haven't even done the birthday cake, yet. Elena would like to pass on that, but Caroline insists that she do it. "It's your birthday, dawn of a new day, and you can't get on with your life until you've made a wish and blown out the candles." Elena wonders if getting on with her life is what everyone wants from her. Caroline wants to make sure that Elena's life doesn't pass her by. Elena won't give up on her search for Stefan and says her only wish is to find out that Stefan is alive. Caroline apologizes, blames her insensitivity on her drunkenness. Elena only half listens though, because she catches sight of Damon's whole closet full of Stefan clues and opens the door to investigate further. She is shocked to realize Damon is tracking, in her words, "Klaus." Caroline asks why Damon wouldn't just tell her what he was doing. Elena doesn't know.
She returns to the party and calls Damon who is now at the news station. He lies that he's still at the party, near the punch bowl. When she tells him not to lie, she also blurts out that she saw his closet. Damon can't have this conversation right now, so he says, "Oops oh, gotta go...gotta go break up beer pong." The Damon role must be a heck of a lot of fun to play, don't you think? He hangs up on her and walks into the stage 3, which is where Stefan confronted Andie. Inside he finds her bag on the floor and finally sees Stefan, who greets him with a, "Hello brother." Damon: "You don't write... you don't call..." Stefan stands at a distance and tells Damon to stop following him. "It's causing some... problems." Damon scoffs at this. "With who -- Klaus? I'm supposed to care what he thinks?" Stefan: "What you're supposed to do is let me go." Damon tells Stefan he saw his latest art work in Tennessee and warns him that he's walking a fine line. "Keep that up and there will be no saving you." Stefan says he doesn't need saving, he just wants Damon to let him go. Damon says, "I've got a birthday girl at home who's not going to let me do that." At the mention of Elena, all traces of whimsy leave Stefan's face and his anger rises to the surface. He nods and pauses for a moment then says, "You know maybe I haven't made my point." He looks over his shoulder and yells up in the air, "Hey, Andie, you still there?" Damon says, "Andie?" The camera pans to a terrified Andie standing at the end of a a catwalk high above the studio floors, near the lights. She cries down to Damon, "Damon, I can't move. I can't move, Damon. He told me that I can't move." Damon yells to her that it's okay and to stay calm and then hisses at Stefan. "Not cool, brother." Stefan smiles. "Aw c'mon. It's a little bit cool, huh?" While still holding Damon's gaze he says, "Hey, Andie, you can move now." Damon yells, "No, no, no, no, no," but before he can Stealth-Salvatore over and catch her, Stefan pushes him back up against a wall. Andie crashes to the floor way below with a sickening thud. Stefan, throttling Damon, says, "I said, let me go!" Damon pushes his way free and rushes to Andie's side, but she's already dead. When Damon turns to look at Stefan, he finds he has already gone. Commercial.
Party, exterior. Jeremy calls out to Matt who is wandering between the parked cars. "What are you doing?" Matt says he can't find his truck. Jeremy points out that that's a sign he shouldn't be driving and offers him a ride. Matt says Jeremy is more stoned than he is, but he doesn't look it to me. Jeremy hops in what I think might be Stefan's little red sports car. Jeremy gets in the car first and Vicki appears in the passenger seat. He calls out her name, and she says, "Help me," then disappears. When Matt gets in the car he asks Jeremy what he just said. "Did you just say 'Vicki' as in my sister Vicki. Jeremy lies that he didn't say anything. When he starts the car and turns on the lights, Anna appears in front of him. He quickly shuts it back off and when Matt asks what's wrong, Jeremy says, "Maybe we should just walk."
Back inside, Tyler wants to know why Caroline is pissed that he brought Sophie. I mean, we all know he knows why she's pissed, but he wants her to say it. Things get pretty tense as he makes it clear that if she thinks he shouldn't be dating, then all she has to do is say something. She shut him down. He says, "I'm not going there again, unless you make it crystal clear that..." Before he can finish, she flies at him and kisses him passionately. When they finally stop Tyler says, "Let's get out of here." Caroline is breathless as she nods. "Uh huh." Damon's on his way back in as the couple are leaving the party. Caroline hands him her bottle of booze and scolds, "Hey! You missed the cake." A defeated Damon lays the booze bottle on a table and makes his way to his room for some respite, but instead he finds Elena with a handful of articles, demanding to know why he made her feel like an idiot all summer whenever she brought a lead on Stefan to him. Damon says, "You were an idiot. We both were." She demands to know what he knows. He tries to shoo her back to the party, but Elena's not having any of that. "We were supposed to be in this together. Why didn't you tell me that you've been tracking Klaus's victims?" Damon turns to face her. "Because they're not Klaus's victims, Elena. They're Stefan's! He's left a trail of body parts up and down the Eastern Seaboard." Elena keeps shaking her head and uttering her disbelief but Damon persists. "I've seen it happen before. He's flipped a switch to full-blown Ripper." When Elena tells him to stop, Damon shouts, "No, you stop, Elena. Stop looking for him. Stop waiting for him to come home. Stefan is gone and he's not coming back. Not in your lifetime." Articles in hand, Damon walks out of the room, leaving Elena in tears as she holds onto her necklace like it's her only lifeline.
Gilbert Gables. Matt and Jeremy satisfy their munchies with ice cream. As he leaves, Matt asks if he can take the rest of it home with him. Heh. Matt also wants to know what happened in the car back at Mossy Manse. He knows he heard Jeremy say Vicki's name. Eventually, Jeremy confides in Matt that he's been seeing visions of Vicki ever since he died and Bonnie brought him back to life, but Matt doesn't get it. I think he kind of does, but you can almost see him scurrying to erect a wall between himself and the truth. He says he sees Vicki all the time too, because he wants to -- wants her to be there. Jeremy can tell Matt doesn't really want to know the truth, so when Matt says, "Look I know we've got our hands full with all the supernatural stuff in this town, but... ghosts?" Jeremy respects Matt's shield of denial, forces a laugh and says, "Like I said, Matt. My head's all messed up." Oh Matt, you really kind of failed Jeremy there. Between that and the way you've been toward Caroline, I don't even want to call you Pudding Pop, tonight.
Tulley, Southern Comfort Bar. Poor Ray is now bleeding and suffering on a pool table, as Klaus walks around and tells him, "Okay, it's a three step process, Ray. This is step one. I want you to drink from my wrist." Ray: "I already told you where to find the pack. What more do you want from me?" Klaus leans over his victim. "Have you been listening to a word I've been saying, Ray?" He points the tip of his knife at Ray's cheek. "I have great plans for you." He slices his own wrist open and thrusts it in Ray's mouth, as he tells the compelled bar patrons that Ray will thank him for it later. Once Ray finishes choking down the blood, he asks what Klaus is going to do now. Stefan returns just as Klaus says, "It's time for step two, Ray," and then snaps Ray's neck. Stefan winces just a little as he looks at Ray's corpse. When Klaus says, "You're back," Stefan asks, "Did you doubt me?" Klaus: "Not for a second. I knew you'd pass the test. You still care for your brother -- your old life." Stefan shrugs it off and says he doesn't care about anything any more. Klaus says, "You put on a good show, Stefan. I almost believe you. Let's hope for your brother's sake that he does." As a tormented Stefan leans on the bar, Klaus comes up behind him and whispers, "You never stop caring about family, do you? But every time you feed, the blood makes it easier to let go." Okay, so wait... Klaus knows he can trust Stefan because Stefan still cares for Damon and his old life. But Klaus revels in Stefan feeding, because every time he does, the blood is going to make it easier for him to let go. So riddle me this. If Stefan becomes what Klaus wants him to become, how will Klaus trust him? I don't understand Klaus's motive for keeping Stefan with him and corrupting him into a full-blown Ripper, I guess. I barely understand why Klaus also wants to make an army of other vicious, invincible creatures. Am I still looking at this wrong, or over-thinking it, or does it just not make a lot of sense if you look closely? Huuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Gilbert Gables: Alaric looks at a picture of him and Jenna in happier days as he packs his bags to leave. When Elena comes home she asks what he's doing. He announces that he's not going to stay there any more. "I'm not a role model, Elena. I drink too much. I saw the wrong things. I encourage bad behavior. At school I can pull it together, but in my own life, with the way I miss Jenna, I'm just not any good to anybody right now. I'm sorry Elena, but you're 18." Yeah, for what, all of ten minutes, Alaric? He ignores me and continues. "You can do all this alone now. You can do it better without me." As tall as she is, Elena looks so tiny and alone as Alaric walks out the door.
Lockwood Mansion. Tyler gets Caroline back to his room and whips her dress right over her head 'til she's standing there in her little black undies and bra and nothing else. Okay, fair enough, she ripped his shirt off first, but my daughter is in the room. Between angry kisses, Caroline uses her vampyric strength to push Tyler down on the bed. Were I in a better mood, I might find this scene sexy, but right now I just find it a little too much for an 8:00 PM show. I know. I know. There's no such thing as the family hour on TV anymore but this feels like soft core porn to me. So while part of me is all, "Yay," Tyler and Caroline are getting together, the rest of me is annoyed, because I have to pause the show and take time to explain to my daughter how sex is not portrayed all that realistically on TV, and good sex is best when it's between committed adults and blah blah blah I'm-old-cakes.
Meanwhile, back at Mossy Manse, Damon trashes the bedroom. But it's not his sparse, lovely, understated room he trashes. It's Stefan's cluttered pack-rat room, which cracks both me and my daughter up, for reasons you surely get even though I can't quite explain.
Tulley, Southern Comfort Bar, Exterior: Stefan stumbles out in the parking lot. He can barely hold himself together. He slides his cell phone out of his pocket and stares at it.
Gilbert Gables. Elena finds a giant birthday card on her bed from Jeremy. She puts it on her dresser to her phone and walks off to hang up her hoodie. The phone starts ringing and the Caller I.D. reads: "Caller Unknown." We cut to Stefan on the other end, waiting for Elena to pick up. She finally returns and does just that. Her, "Hello," is met with silence. She waits a moment and then says, "Stefan?" When he doesn't answer, Elena continues to talk. "Stefan, if this is you, you'll be okay." The closed captioning then reports that she also says, "You can survive this. Whatever you do, just hold on." Those words aren't spoken on air, though. Instead Elena just says, "I love you, Stefan. Hold onto that. Never let that go." On the other end of the line, Stefan nods and struggles not to cry, but he still says nothing as we fade to black. Poor noodle.
Lockwood Mansion: After sex, Tyler is sound asleep, so Caroline slips back into her clothes and sneaks downstairs where she runs into Carol Lockwood, who is all, "Leaving so soon?" Caroline thinks this is just an embarrassing, awkward moment, but oh, no! It's so much more. Carol has doused Caroline's purse with vervain, so when Caroline picks it up on her way out, her hand starts to smoke. This is all the proof Carol needs. She shoots Caroline in the back with several vervain darts and our Vampire Barbie is down for the count. Thud. Title card.
Here's a little present for you all, courtesy of editors/goddesses Angel Cohn and Rachel Stein. Enjoy!
I'll be back Friday morning with the recaplet of "The Hybrid." In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where the only chaperone is Alaric, so bottoms up!