In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Okay look, I'm not going to B.S. you. I am filing this as I'm watching the Royal Wedding. Don't judge me! Anyhow, you're getting the quick-and-dirty sort of recaplet. Elijah has a magical elixir for Elena to drink. If she submits to be Klaus's sacrifice, she will die, but the elixir will bring her back to life, or so says Elijah. Stefan and Elena are just fine with this plan. Damon? Not so much. He goes to his room to stew and when Elena goes looking for him, he tries to talk some sense into her -- just let Bonnie kill Klaus with her juiced up mojo. Elena refuses, because if Klaus is not weakened from transitioning into a werewolf, performing the kill-Klaus spell will kill Bonnie. When talk fails, Damon resorts to violence and forces Elena to drink his blood. That way, if she's killed, she'll come back. He and Stefan end up fighting. Again. It's all so angst-y
Elena is unhappy to be looking ahead to eternal life. She um like loves Stefan and junk, but maybe doesn't love him like... ya know... that much. I kid, but I really like that Elena acknowledges she's 17 and is so not ready to contemplate forever, even with Stefan. With Alaric's help, Damon then sets out to undo what he's just done, because Elena will hate him forever if she ends up vamped.
Tyler and Jules are back in town because Klaus's manwitch injured Carol Lockwood in order to lure them back. Klaus's minions capture Caroline and Tyler to serve as the vampire and werewolf ingredients in the Doppelganger ritual. When Klaus refuses Damon's request to put the ritual off 'til the full moon, Damon rescues Vampire Barbie and Pudding PUP, despite half-hearted interference from Pudding POP.
Before the Fellowship of the Falls can lock up Tyler for the night, he starts to transition, and scuffles with Damon. Eventually, Matt and Caroline lock themselves in the cell in the basement of the Lockwood ruins. Wolfy Tyler takes off for them. Damon takes off to confront Klaus, who has already taken a willing Elena. When Damon points out he has absconded with the vampire and the werewolf, Klaus laughs and shows Damon streaming video. He's got backups. Jules is his backup werewolf, but who is his backup vampire?
It's fricking Jenna! Oh my word, I can't even! Now, Jenna was in earlier scenes in the episode. She and Alaric made up in a fashion and she had ringside seats to a lot of discussion at Mossy Manse. I don't know when she was vamped. I'm just sitting here trying not to type exclamation marks at you all, so I'm going leave it here for now. Oh except for how I forgot to tell you that apparently Tyler bit Damon during their scuffle! And OMG Wills and Kate just kissed. The end. Amen. Oh wait. They just kissed again. Yay.
I'll be back with the weecap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, where we're ready, willing and able to bite Damon at a moment's notice.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!As I was reworking this weecap, news broke that Osama Bin Laden had been shot and killed by the Navy SEAL's elite counter-terrorism unit, formerly (and still colloquially) known as Team 6 (ST6). I am here to talk about TV, not world affairs and politics, but I just have to note that development, here. I have a family member preparing for his second deployment to Afghanistan. Every single day, people are fighting, killing and dying for us, and it has gone on so long, that I am ashamed to admit there are days I don't think about it at all. There are days that the most pressing issue occupying my mind is that my kid won't stop talking with his mouth full of food; my allergies are out of control; the pinched nerve in my neck is acting up; there are only two episodes left in this season of The Vampire Diaries. Today is not one of those days. If you or a loved one is serving, has served, or will serve in the military, please know you have my profound gratitude. When we put our kids to bed, we pray with them our for our Ranger who is on his way back overseas. Starting tonight, we are praying for you and yours, too -- for those who serve, for those who are recovering, for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice, for those who mourn, and for those who wait at home with hearts full of fear and hope. Thank you does not begin to cover it, but what else is there? Thank you. In return, I can only offer momentary, frivolous escape. Fortunately, that's right in my wheelhouse. If you want to leave reality behind and enter into a world where monsters are not of our own species, and can be defeated by herbs, ash, magic, stakes, the love of a beautiful woman, or a flick of the remote control, I am so your girl. Follow me...
Previously, on The Vampire Diaries we learned that there is no Curse of the Sun and the Moon. What there is -- is a curse or binding spell on Satan Klaus, who is not only an Original Vampire, but also a werewolf. He has been after the Doppelganger (our fair Elena Gilbert), the moonstone, and a spare vampire and werewolf or two, to use as ingredients in the Doppelganger Ritual which will free his inner werewolf, make him a true hybrid, and position him to be the invulnerable sire of a new and terrible race of what I'm calling blood wolves, because although I love the word portmanteau, I am largely over the use of portmanteaux, except for when I'm not. The only time Satan Klaus will be killable by magic (at least in a way that won't kill the witch who wields it) is after he has sacrificed the Doppelganger, and is transitioning into a werewolf for the first time, because as Tyler Lockwood and his beautiful Uncle Brick House before him showed us, transitioning into a werewolf is not for sissies. It is for beautiful, nearly nekkid, muscular young men, who will writhe and moan -- eyes full of tears, sweat trickling... Oh my. I'd best move on, yes?
We open on Damon lying shirtless and at least half uncovered in bed. The camera lovingly pans up his sleeping form, giving more love to his left pec, than his right, lingering on his throat which moves as he swallows, then zooming in on his beautiful profile. Those eyes -- those eyes -- they snap open and flicker. Hey, I take your frivolous escape seriously, gentle reader. Damon furrows his brow as his listens to the conversation taking place on the first floor of Mossy Manse, where Elijah is telling Elena and Stefan since the moon is full tonight, the Fellowship of the Falls must work on the assumption that Satan Klaus intends to sacrifice Elena and perform the Doppelganger Ritual tonight.
Elijah and Stefan jockey for the role of exposition fairy as they go back and forth with the details I laid out in my "Previously on the Vampire Diaries" paragraph. Damon, sadly be-shirted now, bursts in and insists they have Bonnie kill Klaus right now. Elena shuts that down, because she won't have Bonnie dying just to protect her. Damon: "I'll write her eulogy." Hee. Elijah explains Elena's role in the ritual. Along with killing a werewolf and a vampire, Klaus must drink the blood of the Doppelganger to the point of her death. Um? But wait, Elijah has a plan! He has this elixir he procured from witches 500 years ago, in hopes of saving Katherine. Supposedly, if the Doppelganger drinks this elixir, she will die when Satan Klaus drains her blood, and the presto change-o, she won't be dead any more. And they tested this how? Just sayin'...
Damon has had it with everyone and everything. "That's your plan? A magical witch potion with no expiration date?" I'm with you, Damon. Elijah's Elixir (stop that snickering, you pervs) impresses me not. Damon suggests Elena wear John Gilbert's Protect-o ring, because really, who gives a toss about Uncle Snark Daddy -- but Elijah explains that the ring only protects humans. As a Doppelganger is a supernatural occurrence, the odds are the ring won't protect Elena. Well, sheeesh, can't someone craft a Doppelganger-specific Protect-o Ring? I mean hell, they have rings that let Vampires walk in the sun, and rings that protect John Gilbert from being tossed off a balcony by a vampire. Seriously, with all those grimoires Bonnie rescued from the Manwitch apartment, isn't there something? You could experiment on Katherine, for cry-yi-yi. Nobody listens and Damon and I are just sick of it.
Meanwhile, over at the Mayoral Mansion, Mayor Carol "Mama Mulva" Lockwood climbs the stairs as she leaves her M.I.A. son Tyler a voice mail. "I've had an accident and I'm in the hospital." Liar, liar, pants on fire! Oh, wait, as Mama Mulva closes with a plea for Ty to come home, we see Satan Klaus's new manwitch, Maddox, standing at the top of the staircase, coaching Carol on what to say. When she hangs up, she asks why she said what she did. Maddox tells her that's because she had a terrible fall and then he mojos her down the enormous staircase and over the bannister.
Mama Mulva: SPLAT!!!
Damon is drinking and arguing with Stefan about trusting Elijah simply because Elena does. Damon doesn't understand and while my feminist side appreciates Stefan respecting Elena's agency, my maternal side is sooooooooooo with Damon. Stefan is putting his faith in Elena because she chose to trust him despite what he is. "If I'm going to bet on somebody's instincts, it's going to be hers." Damon does a little eye-thing for our viewing pleasure. "Well then that makes you the biggest idiot of them all." When Stefan reminds Damon that Elena has chosen to trust him, too, Damon snarks, "Maybe you shouldn't be so sure about her instincts.
Elena and Elijah have a little heart-to-heart. She is willing to do this, even though Elijah's Elixir mightn't work, because she's the key to breaking the curse and she's got to do what she can to stop Satan Klaus from hurting people. She knows the chance she's taking and she's fine with it. I think Elijah's halfway to being a smitten kitten.
Sidebar of Idle Wishful Thinking: let Elena get vamped and give her a season of mayhem and macking with Elijah, while Stefan and Damon go out of their minds with jealousy (and possibly fool around with Caroline and Bonnie). Just a thought. Oh dear, I hope you variously portmanteau-ed 'shippers don't kill me. I just really like Elijah, m'kay?
From the hallway we hear a door slam and Jenna screaming at someone to get out. Hey, she's not just raising a ruckus, she's aiming a crossbow right at his chest. And he? He is Alaric, and it's really Alaric, as we know, but the Fellowship of the Falls wants proof it's not Klaus-In-Alaric, so Alaric blurts out: "The first night you and I spent together, Jeremy walked in right when I was about to..." Jenna stops him short and confirms it's Alaric and eventually lowers the crossbow, too. Klaus let him go to deliver this message: "The sacrifice happens tonight." Meaningful looks abound as if this is news, but we opened the episode with Elijah saying that was a pretty sure thing, so yawn.
Meaningful music swirls around Tyler as he visits poor Mama Mulva in the hospital. YAY, he's back!
The Grill: Caroline startles Matt. She's got to run some errands but stopped in for a quick kiss and will be back shortly. As soon as Vampire Barbie departs, Matt joins Sheriff Forbes at her table. He's conflicted, because there's nothing about Caroline that makes him think she's a monster. Liz points out that Damon was her closest ally and yet he killed Vicki. Pudding Pop tries to get Liz to reconsider that maybe it's just Damon that's the problem. Liz won't hear him out, even though she's struggling with the same feelings, so she apologizes for involving him and leaves.
Mossy Manse: Noticing Damon is missing, Elena leaves the Fellowship of the Falls and finds him in his bedroom. They argue about the efficacy of Elijah's Elixir. Damon is not willing to risk her life. Elena asserts that since it's her life, it's her choice. Their hands touch and sparks fly, as he tells her he can't lose her. Elena assures him he won't, but as she starts out of his room, there's an overload in his eye-thing circuits. Before you know it, he Stealth-Salvatores right up in her grill, tells her there's another way, puts on his game face, bites into his own wrist and force-feeds our girl his blood, despite her protests. My inner-feminist damns the man. My inner-mommy cheers!
While we're at commercial, riddle me this.... Why has a prophylactic dose of vampire blood not been discussed before? In their universe, if someone dies with vampire blood in her system, she will come back as a vampire, right? Now, I'm not saying Elena would go for that, but the subject has never even been broached. Hell, why wasn't it broached when Elijah wanted to save Katerina back in 1492? I want to know if there are contraindications to the Doppelganger Ritual, if the Doppelganger has vamp blood in her system when Satan Klaus drains her dry. Or, I at least want to know that someone considered it in the past 500 years. Why was that not Elijah's first move to save La Petrova, rather than getting witches to cook up some untried elixir? We know that by actually getting vamped, Katerina disqualified herself as the sacrifice, but what about this solution? Will this make Elena an unacceptable sacrifice? I'm sorry. This has been annoying me for weeks and we get so close to it tonight and yet we still only dance around it. Never mind. The commercials are over and so is this digression. For now.
Stefan zooms into the room and pushes Damon and Elena apart as he demands to know what Damon has done. Damon says he's just saved her life. This way, if she does die, at least they know she'll come back. Stefan is furious. "As a vampire!" The boys snarl at each other about choice versus life, but as I mentioned at the outset, this is no place for politics. Stefan just doesn't understand how Damon, of all people, could take this choice away from Elena, since Damon has been hella pissed at Stefan for basically the same thing since 1864. When Elena looks up at Damon in disbelief, he says, "Go ahead. Wish me an eternity of misery. Believe me, you'll get over it." While I love all the callbacks to Damon's arc, Stefan can no longer control himself and now that he doses up on human blood, he's Damon's equal in a fight. When Damon snarls at his brother: "Admit it, you just wish you had the balls to do it yourself," Stefan pounds the snot out of him. Still, Damon bests him by staking him in the gut. By then Jenna and Alaric have joined the fun. They urge Damon out of the room, and Alaric tells Jenna where to get blood bags so that they can tend to suffering Stefan who is apologizing to Elena for not stopping Damon.
When Damon arrives downstairs, Elijah is calmly packing up his elixir, and notes that it's no longer needed since feeding Elena vampire blood has rendered it useless. And he's really sort of miffed, which tickles me silly. Yes it has rendered your elixir useless, Elijah, but can we discuss if there is another problem (besides unwanted vamping in Elena's case) with the vampire blood solution?
Elijah: No, fair Recapper. We cannot.
Recapper: God, you're hot.
As Elijah heads to the door, Damon points out that they both know the elixir wouldn't have worked, anyhow. Elijah wants and deserves a better exit line than his pissy little reminder that he'll be back to see Elena later, so he spins on his heels and approaches Damon. "The problem, Damon? You talk a good game, but you don't actually know...anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire -- is a very long time. Damon ponders and appears disturbed by this thought, even though he was totally aware of it when he was still upstairs, telling Elena to go ahead and wish him an eternity of misery, because she'll get over it. Meanwhile, I'm still not over why Elijah didn't try to give Katherine vampire blood back in the day. Yes, I get that Elena doesn't want it today, but since Katherine purposefully set herself up to be vamped, I can't help but think she would have been amenable to the idea. I'm never going to get satisfaction on this nitpick, am I? This is one of those things where you're talking to your friends about the show and everyone is all, "Yeah, wow, no!" And one person is harping on the smallest thing and you can't wait for her to leave the room so you can roll your eyes and make, "What's up with her" gestures, isn't it? Okay. I'll try to stop.
Alaric and Jenna get some time alone and he apologizes for keeping the truth from her. He wanted to protect her, but it's clear she can handle it. She hushes him by telling him she's glad he's okay and proves it with a smooch.
Meanwhile, Elena is furious that Damon has done this to her. Stefan talks her into taking a little day trip, where they can discuss the implications of her becoming a vampire.
Jules finds Tyler at the hospital and reminds him they have to go lock themselves up for the night. When they walk outside, they run into Caroline, so Jules tells him he can have "just a few" minutes. Caroline is clearly a little jealous. She's also hurt that Tyler left without goodbye or an explanation, and that he's leaving town again. When Caroline follows him to his car, they're both magically attacked by Greta Martin and Maddox. Greta shoves a wooden stake in Caroline's shoulder for good measure.
Meanwhile, at the Grill, Matt multi-tasks -- leaving Caroline a voice mail at the same time he glares at Damon, who has just entered the bar with Alaric. Before Team Bromance can discuss Damon's most recent impulsive act, Klaus pops in and tells Damon not to do anything he'll regret. Damon laughs and tries to get Klaus to put off the ritual for a month. Klaus is all, "You must be joking." Alaric is all, "He's really not." Klaus says he's got his vampire and his werewolf. The ritual will happen tonight. "So if you want to live to see tomorrow, don't screw it up." I don't think Damon's so concerned with living, Satan Klaus, but thanks for the progress report. Once he's gone, Alaric has to ask the question we all already know the answer to: "You're going to screw it up, aren't you?" Damon answers not with the obvious yes, but with details. "You think if I took his werewolf out of the equation, [Elena] might get over the fact that I tried to turn her into a vampire?" Alaric says that won't matter so much because Damon will be dead. Damon doesn't care about that. He wants to buy Elena at least one more month, and he's drafting Alaric to help him.
Meanwhile, Stefan and Elena are out for a hike, talking about her feelings when they come upon a beautiful waterfall, which makes sense in a town called Mystic Falls. Stefan wants Elena to know it's okay to tell him how she's feeling. She says she can't, so Stefan accepts that and urges her to climb to the top of the falls with him. She wants him to Edward-Cullen them up to the top, but Stefan says this is her last day of being human. "Why cheat now." Hey, is this reverse psychology, because the banks of that waterfall look pretty fricking steep to me.
Alaric turns up at his own apartment where Katherine is still a prisoner of compulsion. He invites Damon in, who has come to collect from Katherine since he gave her Vervain and all. Damon had never been in Alaric's place before now? Really. Huh. Anyhow, Damon dispatches Alaric back to the house to help ensure Elena doesn't turn herself over before Damon can screw up Klaus's plans. Once he's alone with Katherine, he demands to know where Klaus is keeping his werewolf. A dead werewolf means no ritual. Katherine refuses to help and in doing so, she lets slip that she's not the vampire Satan Klaus is going to sacrifice. "He's got Caroline Forbes and Tyler Lockwood." When reason doesn't work, Damon works the jealousy angle and reveals that Elena has vampire blood in her system, which means Katie with be competing with Elena for Stefan -- forever. Katherine spills, immediately. "He's got them in the tomb."
Ye Olde Tomb: When Caroline comes to, she realizes she and Tyler and chained up and can't escape. She fills him in on witches and Klaus and how he so shouldn't have come back home.
Back at the Falls, Elena muses that Bonnie will have to make her a daylight ring and cracks that she won't be able to watch Bambi again. What? Um, because she'll get hungry and feel bad that she eats animals? Is that what she means? I'm pretty sure she's not a vegetarian now. My daughter thinks so, but that just seems like a weird association. Color me unimpressed or flummoxed the like. She tries to make more vampire small talk. Stefan talks about the feeling that you can do anything and how everything is more powerful -- more heightened. He says the worse is really the flipside of that. Anger becomes rage. Sadness becomes despair. Grief and loss are crippling. That's why so many vamps turn off their emotions (uh, only kinda, Stef). He's still trying every day to handle it. He pushes her to talk more but she insists on continuing their hike, because there are still 30 minutes left in the episode.
When Klaus returns to Alaric's pad, he finds Katherine making coffee. He senses she is hiding something so he throttles her and compels her to tell him what she's doing. He then orders her to take off her protect-o bracelet and walk over to the window and stand in the sunlight. She has to pretend she's still compelled so she obeys. Satan enjoys watching her burn for a bit. When he gets bored, he releases her and tells her she's got an assignment.
When Damon reaches the tomb, Maddox confronts him. Damon jumps him, but manwitch throws him off. He starts to give Damon a mystical migraine, but before it goes on too long, who should appear but my Pudding Pop, Matt. He shoots Maddox through the chest. Maddox falls to his knees and Damon snaps his neck for good measure. When it's done, he and Matt size each other up and right into commercial.
Matt holds Damon at gunpoint and demands to know where Caroline is. With his hands in the air, Damon assures Matt he's just there to rescue Caroline. Matt is twitchy and not putting down the gun, so Damon whacks him in the head with it. Once Matt is knocked out, Damon unloads the weapon and is all like oh and I need this crap when he realizes the gun was loaded with wooden bullets.
Down in the tomb, Caroline and Ty discuss how they left things with him not really saving her from the Wolfgang, and how hurt she was that he also left town, but that she could never hate him. It's a moment, so of course Evil Pixie Monster interrupts it. Damn it, Damon. Your timing sucks. He tells Caroline her boyfriend is outside with a weapon loaded with wooden bullets so she has some explaining to do. Since Caroline thinks she compelled Matt to forget all about vampires -- at his request, no less -- she is truly confused, but Damon says that's tomorrow's problem. He just needs to get Caroline out of there. Caroline won't leave without Tyler. Damon is ready to cut him some slack, but only if he can get himself locked up before dark. He can and will, and Caroline will help. And I believe that will happen just exactly ZERO amount, especially once Damon looks soulfully at Tyler and says, "Don't make me regret this." He just shouldn't talk, my Evil Pixie Monster. Yikes.
Falls: The thing is -- here's the thing. Stefan is ready to be with Elena forever, but Elena is all like: I'm 17. I love you, but forever is a damned long time. She wants the freedom to deal with things as they come along, after she grows up, decides whether she wants kids and all that. Dobrev is GREAT here. Really great. She cries as she says she doesn't want to be a vampire and it breaks my heart. And she is so much better for my daughter to be watching that that insipid siphon Bella Swan. Oh and I missed the exact moment in all the emotion, but Stefan tries to explain to Elena that while Damon did the wrong thing by force feeding her blood, he did it because he loves her. Elena knows that, but says it's not really love if he doesn't respect her choices, or something like that. I get what she means. I would feel the same way, were I in her shoes. I would not feel the same way if Damon was trying to protect someone I love.
When Damon, Caroline and Tyler come out of the tomb, the moon is already on the rise. Caroline rouses Matt, even as Tyler starts to feel his transition coming on. This thrills Damon to pieces as you can imagine. Meanwhile, back at Mossy Manse, Elena and Stefan arrive home to find Klaus lurking in wait. He asks Elena if she is ready. She says that she is, but Stefan takes his one noble -- if impotent -- stand of the episode, holding his hand in front of her as he says, "No." Really. That's it. He doesn't even raise his voice. I love you Stefan, but your respect for Elena's quest for martyrdom brings one word to mind: flaccid. Klaus points out Stefan will die, but Stefan doesn't fear that. He's just committed to trusting a 17-year-old. Elena kisses him, tells him she loves him and he loves and kisses her back. Finally she pulls away and says, "Close your eyes."
Buffy: Oh no she didn't!
Darla: I hope you don't think that was your line, first. Everything you ever did with Angel, I did first, and with super speed, and some more cleavage.
Buffy: Cindy, don't you have any stakes lying around here?Recapper: Not now, you two. This is serious business! Scram.
So yeah, they pay homage to Buffy and Angel (and Darla and Liam) and blah blee bloo. Stefan closes his eyes but for a second, and when he opens them, Elena and Satan Klaus are gone. He stands there forlorn and helpless. And I can't help but think of something Veronica Mars once said about Duncan Kane. I can't remember if I've used it in a recap before so I'm declaring it fair game, this time. "You stand idly by." I mean, Stefan, what the hell? I know you respect her, but why didn't you try to keep her from him, or argue with her more? Ugh. Don't make me go 100% Team Damon. I like being Bi-Bro. It's a thing. I respect your respect, but it's frustrating the hell out of me. Do something, damn it.
Ooh, I think he hears me. By the time he's inside, he's raring to go. He finds Alaric and calls Damon, revealing Klaus took Elena. And okay, maybe this is my frustration with Stefan in this storyline. Whether he'll ever admit it to himself or not, Damon was totally right when he told Stefan that by force-feeding blood, he did what Stefan only wishes he had the cojones to do. Because look at Stefan's eyes when he's on the phone with big bro, y'all. They are desperate. He is calling Damon because he knows that Damon will save Elena despite the fact she doesn't want to be saved. So while he pays a whole lot of lip service to respecting her choices, it's almost two-faced, because all he has to do is let Damon know what's going on, and then sit back and be all -- well, I respected your choices, but Damon, you know him? He's incorrigible. I don't mean that as harsh as it sounds. When I take myself out of the story I like this touch. I like that he's conflicted. I like that Stefan wants to abide by Elena's wishes. And I like that part of the reason he can do it is because he knows he can count on Damon to interfere, regardless of what Elena wants. Do you read me? Stefan fans, am I being too hard on the boy? Anyhow, Damon's already "saving the day" as he puts it, so he tells Stefan he'll take care of it.
And oh oh, now Tyler starts to wolf out. He warns the others to leave, but they're trying to get him someplace they can lock him up. At one point Tyler jumps Damon, who throws him off. When Caroline asks Damon if he's okay, he grimaces in a way that means bad, unspeakable things of which I will not yet speak, yet insists he's fine. He gives Matt back his bullets and instructs him to get himself and Caroline to the dungeon at ye olde Lockwood Estate ruins. Since it kept Tyler in last time, maybe it can keep him out this time. Everyone wisely leaves Ty to complete his painful transition alone. Poor Pudding Pup.
Alaric's Apartment: Klaus comes home, looks for Maddox and sets up the product placement of the night, with whatever devices he's using to monitor his captives on video. Damon shows up and tells Klaus he has to postpone the ritual since Damon has just rescued his vampire and werewolf and killed his witch. "And you can kill me for it. I don't care. It was all me." Tch. He's really redeeming himself tonight in so many ways. Klaus orders Caroline to give them a moment alone, and uses it to taunt Damon. He knew one of the Brothers Salvatore would try to stop him, and reveals that he's got a spare werewolf (Jules). When you spend a thousand years trying to break a curse. "First rule: always have a back-up." Darn, that's almost a line from Veronica Mars. I may have to watch my DVDs this summer. Anyhow, Klaus makes it clear he's also got a back-up witch, and with Katherine in his commandeered apartment, he now has a back-up vampire.
Caroline and Matt make it to the dungeon of the ruins and lock themselves in, but Tyler is fast on their heels. They lock themselves inside the cell, but as Caroline is trying to chain it shut, a fully-wolfed Tyler bursts in. Caroline tries talking to him, but he's a wolf, yo, so he just leaps at her.
Back at Alaric's, Damon regains consciousness. Did I mention he was unconscious? Did I know? Whatever. This show moves too fast. Katherine is hovering over him apologizing and explaining without being explicit that she's really sorry she did what she did but she had to pretend she was compelled or Klaus would have known she wasn't and blah blee bloo. Damon tells her to cut through the crap. She does. Klaus needed another vampire, so he had Katherine lure her out. Damon: "Who'd you call? Who did you call, Katherine?"
Woods: Elena tells Greta that Senior and Junior Manwitch were looking for her. Greta sneers that they were wasting their time. "I wasn't lost." When Elena stumbles she complains that she can't see anything in the dark, so Greta magics up some campfires. Elena's eyes fall to the female form lying still on the ground. It's only a second before she recognizes...
OMG JENNA IS THE "SHE" KATHERINE LURED OUT. I so should have seen that coming and I just didn't see it coming at all. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. I'm sorry. I'll get back to actually recapping now, instead of exclaiming.
So, ahem, Elena says, "Jenna?" When Jenna doesn't answer, Elena kneels by her, feels for a pulse and there is none. She then turns to Greta and asks why Klaus killed Jenna when Elena did everything he asked. Just then, Jenna sits up with a gasp and a start. Greta sneers some more. "She not dead. She in transition." Yeah, I think we got that, Miss Rhymes-With-Witch.
Back at Alaric's Damon can't figure out why Alaric didn't use him. Katherine says, "He couldn't. Damon, he said you were as good as dead." When Damon asks what that means, Katherine grabs his arm and the camera closes in on a gross looking wound. "What is this, Damon?" Damon looks down and lets himself admit what he must have known on some level. "Oh, it's a werewolf bite."
And just imagine I'm typing "Are you kidding me" in bold, 20 pt. uppercase letters about a million times, because Show, once again? I. Can't. Even.I'll be back with Friday morning with my recaplet of "The Sun Also Rises." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, where we're ready, willing and able to bite Damon at a moment's notice.