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"The House Guest" has more beats than a Bonham solo, and my respiration rate keeps trying to sync up with it. Where to begin? Pant. Pant. Panta-pant-pant. Okay. How about here? Junior and Senior Manwitch pretend to make a deal with Stefan and Bonnie, which includes protecting Elena, finding a way to kill Satan Klaus, and freeing Girl Manwitch. Senior Manwitch is a double-dealer, though, and tries to resurrect Elijah, by sending Junior on the astral plane (or what have you) to Mossy Manse, to pull the knife out of Elijah's heart. Damon has to torch the invisible, astral Junior Manwitch to death, to keep Elijah dead.
Once Junior's physical body burns up in Senior's presence, Senior goes off the reservation and decides to take Elena. During his magical temper tantrum, he intentionally and mortally wounds my Pudding Pop Matt, who has just reunited with Caroline, after she compels the live band at the Bronze Grill to let her sing "Eternal Flame" to him. Die, Senior Manwitch. Die. Die.
Caroline does what any vamp in love would do and opens a vein to save Matt's life. Later when he comes to, he remembers the incident and she explains she fed him her blood to save his life, because she's a vampire, silly. Matt doesn't take this news as well as she expects, because he remembers Vicki talking about vampires and figures Caroline killed her and we've got to wait weeks to see how this shakes out. Grrr argh.
Katherine is up to something, because she's Katherine, but she works with the Fellowship of the Falls to protect Elena, and even imitates Elena to Elena's benefit this time, rather than her detriment. Katherine also kills Senior Manwitch, so I love her -- at least for the nonce. Jeremy knows the Manwitches deserved to die and says so, even if Bonnie's not sure about that. I say she's just feeling soft because in his death throes, Senior Manwitch gives her back her powers. He also gives her the charge to kill Satan Klaus and a way to do it, but we won't learn about that 'til this Hellish hiatus ends, either.
And that's not all. Elena is pleased as punch to give Bonnie her blessing to date Jeremy. Hooray! Jenna and Alaric remain on the outs, but he saves her from Senior's temper tantrum, takes her home to Gilbert Gables, and tells her that he loves her.
Since Jenna's out of tequila, she breaks out the ice cream. Elena joins her in the kitchen, and when the doorbell rings, Jenna goes to answer it. I yell at Elena that she and the Germ should NEVER let Jenna answer the door, since they're keeping her in the dark about vampires and I think she kind of listens, because she chases after Jenna -- meaning I have achieved control of the pretty people in this shiny box with all the lights. Hurrah!
When Jenna opens the door, there is indeed a vampire waiting on the other side. She introduces herself to Jenna as "Elena's mother." That's right, babies. Isobel is BACK! Jenna's jaw hits the porch. Elena hisses her bio-mom's name, and then the stupid CW tells me I can't have my show back until April 7th. My daughter, who is sleeping over at my mother's, calls me up and screams about it. I scream back. My husband rolls his eyes and pours me a glass of wine. The end!
I'll be back with the weecap ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us on the boards, to ride out the long, cold, lonely hiatus.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Well gang, since The Vampire Diaries moves at such a breakneck pace, but is going on hiatus until April 7th, this seems like a good place to stop, take a deep breath and figure out what the heck has happened so far this season.
We open with Stefan and Elena in his room at Mossy Manse. Elena hangs a lantern on the fact that they hardly ever go to school. You know, Elena, if you ever doubt Stefan's love for you, remind yourself that he's a hundred and mumble years old, and yet he willingly enrolled himself in high school, just to get to know you, and then once he got you, he kept going to school (mostly) just to be with you. There's not a person in the world for whom I would do that. I mean, I'd do it to save a life, but just to hang? No way. Getting ready for school turns into making out on Stefan's bed, which seems like a better plan to me. These two are so adorable together.
After the cut, Elena wanders downstairs and finds Damon with his morning paper and coffee. But wait, is that Elena? Damon doesn't think so. He Stealth Salvatores over to her, pushes her up against the wall with The Vampire Diaries stock-throttle and accuses her of being Katherine. Stefan stumbles upon the scene, as "Elena" is asking Damon why he thinks she's Katherine, since Katherine is still compelled to be in ye olde tomb. He Stealth Salvatores up the stairs, into his room and finds Elena, assumes she's Katherine, throttles her, pushes her against the wall. When Elena cries that he's hurting her, Stefan screams, "Stop it, Katherine." Katherine slithers up to his doorway and says, "Stop what?" Oopsy doopsy. As Stefan releases his hold on the real Elena's neck, Katherine smirks at her. "It's getting really easy being you."
After the title card, Elena has a come to Jesus meeting with Katherine and the boys. Once Elena is all caught up on how Elijah's compulsion of Katherine died with him, Elena gets stompy footed. She wants Katherine out of there. Katherine states her case: they're going to need her if they want a chance at defeating Klaus. What is her angle, here? I mean, of course she wants Klaus dead, but as Katherine has shown us time and again, she only cares about number one. How is hanging in Mystic Falls, with the doppelganger to her benefit at all? I guess she can try to throw Elena at Klaus when the time is right, but I still think there's more to it.
Mystic Falls High School: The exposition fairy brings Caroline and Matt together in the hallway so catch everyone up on the fact that Tyler is still gone and no one knows where. Then Matt steers the discussion to their relationship. He's made his feelings clear. The ball is in her court. Oh Caroline, look at that pretty blue eyed Pudding Pop and smooch his face off! I miss Tyler, but am glad that his departure is giving Matt some time to shine, because...he's shiny!
Stefan and Elena talk a little more about Katherine. Elena hates that she's "shacking up" with the boys, because Elena is smart like that. Stefan proposes sleeping over at Gilbert Gables. I love how Jenna just lets these two have slumber parties all willy nilly. Were she not the world's most crap guardian, this tale would be reduced to juvenile antics about how to get some time alone. I think the show makes good use of school, too. A lot of youth-oriented shows make high school the focal point. I mean even my beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- one of the main themes is that high school is hell. Once the Scoobies were out of high school, the feel was different, and in some ways lesser. Now don't get me wrong, I love all 144 episodes. I'd still trade all other TV for that series, but the vibe of the series changed, and not for the better. Williamson and Plec are wise to keep high school incidental to these character's lives. The actors aren't going to be able to pass for high school kids for much longer. Well, I sure digressed. Anyhow, Elena can't have Stefan sleep over, because she's got a night planned with the girls. Bonnie is bummed to be powerless and Caroline is all atwitter about Matt. Thank you show for keeping these female friendships real.
Mossy Manse: Damon uses a flamethrower to destroy Elijah's corpse. He wants to reuse the dagger, because he's an environmentalist like that. Finally, Katherine slithers down, laughs at him, and explains that the Originals are indestructible. Damon then threatens to burn Katherine up. Do it, Damon. Do it! Katherine scoffs and says he wouldn't. Damon scoffs back. He so would!
Stefan wants Bonnie to kiss and make up with the Manwitches, so he can bring them into the Fellowship of the Falls. Bonnie's not crazy about the idea, but she'll go along with it. It's cool to see how far she has come since she first found out about vampires, and since her Gram died. I'm glad that everyone isn't all, "Vampires! Keen."
MFHS: Alaric and Elena have a talk about Jenna. He says Jenna needs to be brought into the Fellowship of the Falls, and clued in on everything, even the fact that Isobel is undead. Elena was hoping they could defeat Satan Klaus before getting into all that. Elena, no. Jenna's more at risk not knowing. Besides, poor Jenna. Her heart is breaking right now and so is Alaric's. Remember how you feel about being lied to? Other people feel that way, too!
The Grill: Stefan and Bonnie meet with the Manwitches. Stefan invites them to join the Fellowship of the Falls, so that they can all work together to take down Satan Klaus, save Elena and free Girl Manwitch. Senior Manwitch pretends to be open to this new plan, but later when he's alone with Junior, he makes it clear he is so not down with it. They're going to pull the sword out of Acathla and get sucked into Hell dagger out of Elijah and bring him back. And I'm torn. I mean, I fell in love with Elijah in a very short period of time, want him alive again and know he will be, because at some point, someone's going to take that dagger out, at least to kill Satan Klaus. But I would like to see Bonnie have some other witches with which to work.
Meanwhile at Mossy Manse... Damon is reading ye old Johnathan (sic) Gilbert's diaries and Katherine is being a pain in the ass. He's trying to figure out where the original witchy settlers of the area were killed. Katherine doesn't know, or if she does, she's not saying, but she says when witches die, their power is released or something. The point is -- you kill a bunch of witches in one place, and that place is going to be overflowing with mojo. And what a coincidence! Stefan comes home and tells the two banes of his existence that Elijah wanted to use magic to kill Satan Klaus. The same Elijah who had Jenna walk him around all the old property lines in Mystic Falls.
Gilbert Gables: Elena, Bonnie and Caroline are debating whether to order pizza or Chinese. Jenna comes home and looks like she feels left out, because she's such a crap guardian, she actually wants to hang with the teenaged girls. Poor Jenna. When she tells them she feels like Alaric is keeping something from her, Caroline tries to play "devil's advocate" and proposes that maybe Alaric is keeping a secret to protect her from something. Jenna might be a crap guardian, but she refuses to be damsel-ed. She wants a say. She wants a choice. She won't be kept in the dark. You go, girl! Elena and co. invite Jenna into the Girl's Night crew and they decided to go to the Grill, because that's the only place in town. Oh no, wait, because this week, there's live music. Hey, you know what I just realized? There's no civil or school event, this week. Huh!
Casa Manwitch: Junior and Senior do a spell to locate Elijah's corpse. Wouldn't they just assume it's at the Salvatore's place? I mean really. Then Senior sends Junior on the astral plane (hey, I know they don't say it, but I don't know how else to describe it) to Mossy Manse. In other words, Junior's physical form is back home with daddy, but his essence is wandering around the Manse, looking for Elijah. Katherine and Damon each sense his presence at times. And Katherine happens to be down in the basement getting a bag o'blood from the fridge, when Junior finds Elijah's corpse. When she sees the dagger rising out of his chest, she pushes down on it and screams for Damon. At first Junior thinks he's dealing with Elena, but his father explains that it's Katherine and tells him to stake her. He does, but he doesn't hit her heart, probably because she doesn't have one.
Damon arrives on the scene, grabs the flamethrower and shoots it at Elijah. Junior bursts into flames. Back at Casa Manwitch, he's on fire, too. His father tries to save him, but to no avail. Uh oh. Senior Manwitch is gonna explode.
The Grill: Matt won't even look at Caroline. Jenna runs into Alaric at the bar and informs him she has traded him for Señor Tequila, which is such a good line, it almost makes me want to try Tequila again, but I did, years ago, and I still shudder to think I drank something that had a worm in it. Just give me my red wine and nobody gets hurt.
Elena and Caroline have a heart to heart and Elena suggests that Caroline tell Matt how she really feels. And because this show is on the CW, that means Caroline gets up on stage, compels the band to let her sing with them, and then dedicates a pretty fine cover of "Eternal Flame" to Matt. It's corny, but effective. At the end, Matt runs to the stage and kisses her face off, and dips her and is just generally adorable, because he's him and she's her and they're them. I just want to note here that I know some people hate love triangles, I only hate them when they're lame. This show handles them so well, because whenever they focus on any two given points in a triangle, I find myself rooting for those two points.
With Junior dead and all, Stefan suspects Senior might be a threat so he rushes to Casa Manwitch, but Senior just disables him with a mystical migraine and takes off on a tear to destroy the world, or at least the rest of the Fellowship. It makes no sense to me that he doesn't kill Stefan, but there's no time to think about that now.
Back at the Manse, Katherine tells Damon that she traded his life, for Stefan's. That is, John wanted to kill both boys, but she promised she'd kill Klaus if John let Stefan live. Damon is stung, but not really surprised, I hope.
Grill: Matt and Caroline are macking in the rest room. Ew. Go out in your truck or something, Matt. Meanwhile, Bonnie comes clean with Elena. She wants her blessing to date Jeremy. Elena is touched and pleased that Jeremy, who has had so much pain, will have someone so awesome in his life. They hug and everything is puppies and rainbows at least until Senior Manwitch arrives. He's there to get Elena. When Bonnie won't tell him where she is (she's just sort of wandering through the club), Senior goes ballistic. He makes the lights explode and setting the bar on fire. Stefan has recovered by now, and is on the scene to protect Elena. She decides to confront Senior Manwitch and talk sense to him, which is not a smooth move. Senior then releases some mojo similar to that of the Gilbert Gizmo, and Caroline is down. When Matt tries to help her, he and Senior scuffle and then Senior breaks a beer bottle and stabs my Pudding Pop in the throat. Die, Senior Manwitch. Die. Die. Once Caroline recovers from the mojo she feeds Matt her blood to save his life, thank goodness.
Once everyone has escaped the Grill, it's time to breathe, but only for a moment. Bonnie talks to Jeremy. She feels horrible that Luka is dead. Jeremy wasn't only jealous of Luka's bond with Bonnie. Oh no. Remember he learned Luka was planning to sacrifice Elena, to get his own sister back, so Jeremy's pretty much all, "No. He needed to die in a fire," and I'm with him. When Stefan and Elena get back to Gilbert Gables, they ask Bonnie and Jeremy if they checked the house. Meanwhile, upstairs, Senior is already on the scene. He attacks Elena, but SURPRISE she's Katherine, who wastes not one second in sucking all the blood from his body. Ding dong the witch is dead. Which old witch? The Senior Manwitch! Ding dong the wicked Manwitch is dead!
Bonnie looks around and wonders how soon it will be before she, the last magical person of color standing, will be . Okay, just kidding, but really, Show! You still need to get better on this point. Just sayin'... As Bonnie lays her hand on Senior's eyes to close them, he springs up, grabs her head and does something magical that I can't really describe. So there. Then he's all dead again. Hooray.
Katherine would like a little appreciation for saving Elena's life, but Elena's all talk to the hand, bitch, in fact talk to your own hand, it looks just like mine anyhow.
Once Jeremy and Bonnie are alone again, she reveals that during his weird death throes, Senior Manwitch gave her back her powers and charged her with killing Satan Klaus. And it seems he gave her an idea of how to accomplish that, too. Woo hoo. Of course we won't know what that is until fricking April. Grrrrrr.
Mossy Manse; Damon's Room: Katherine tells Damon she thinks he knows where the witches were slaughtered. And I think he does, because I forgot to mention it earlier, but there was a scene in which he silently showed Stefan a page of ye olde Johnathan (sic) Gilbert's diary and there was nodding and whatnot. She then tries to get into Damon's bed if you know what I mean and I think you do, but he pushes her out and tells her there are six other bedrooms in the Manse, she can go sleep somewhere else. Hooray!
Now, Caroline and Matt are either at his place or her's. I can't tell. She watches him until he regains consciousness. And it doesn't really make sense to me that he is unconscious, because her blood would have made him all better. Damon's made Vicki better right away, didn't it? Well, whatever. Matt remembers drinking her blood and how her face looked and he's freaked out, so Caroline comes completely clean with him. She's a vampire and she saved his life by feeding him her blood. Of course, what Caroline doesn't realize is that long ago and far away, when she was in the hospital, Vicki once told Matt she was attacked by a vampire. He just thought she was tripping, but now he realizes she was telling the truth. He thinks she killed Vicki. Caroline is shocked, too shocked to even explain that she wasn't a vampire when Vicki died. Ack! These two are going to be on my mind until April 7th. Mean Show.
Gilbert Gables: Since Jenna's out of tequila, she breaks out the ice cream. Elena joins her in the kitchen, and when the doorbell rings, Jenna goes to answer it. I yell at Elena that she and the Germ should NEVER let Jenna answer the door, since they're keeping her in the dark about vampires and I think she kind of listens, because she chases after Jenna -- meaning I have achieved control of the pretty people in the magical box.
When Jenna opens the door, there is indeed a vampire waiting on the other side. She introduces herself to Jenna as "Elena's mother." That's right, babies. Isobel is BACK! Jenna's jaw hits the porch. Elena hisses her bio-mom's name, and then the stupid CW tells me I can't have my show back until April 7th. My daughter, who is sleeping over at my mother's, calls me up and screams about it. I scream back. My husband rolls his eyes and pours me a glass of wine. The end! And yes, I did just mostly plagiarize the ending to my recaplet, because I found myself wanting to say the same thing, and I don't think it's plagiarism of you're copying yourself. It's just derivative and lame. So there.
I'll be back on April 8th with the recaplet of episode 2-17. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us on the boards, to ride out the long, cold, lonely hiatus.
Watch a video interview with the cast of The Vampire Diaries.