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I don't usually write the recaplets in chronological order, and today is no different. But know ye this: near the top of the hour, we're treated to Damon, in the shower. And once he exits the shower, we're treated to Damon walking around in a towel.
Since Jules (Third Hilton Sister; THS) his Ty all riled up and rabid, he goes to Caroline and asks her about Mason's death. THS must have given him additional intel on Stefan and Damon, because he knows it wasn't actually Caroline who killed Uncle Brick House, but he's hurt, pissed, and awfully rough with her. Later, Stefan goes to the Lockwood's to talk some sense into Tyler about the murderation of Uncle Brick House. And Stefan, while I understand your intentions are good -- if I'm still not over it, there's no way Tyler is going to be. Stefan keeps trying, though. He pleads Caroline's case. He proposes that modern vamps and werewolves ought to be able to leave the sworn enemies crap in the past. But Ty doesn't trust him. He manages to send a distress to THS, which leads me to...
...Elsewhere in Vampire Barbie Land, Matt and Caroline make plans to talk; after he finishes his late shift at the Grill, she'll stop by. Clearly, she's not going to make it, because THS has dog-whistled to the other werewolves, and her buddy Brady has heeded the call. He shoots Care Bear right in the head with a wooden bullet and brings her out to his RV, which is secreted away in the woods. Inside, there's a cage, in which he locks up our girl. He then proceeds to torture her with Vervain spritzes and wooden bullets. BAD DOG!
Eventually, it's the Salvatores to the rescue. THS insists on trading Ty for Caroline. Damon has his own plans, but he'll follow Stefan as long as his way works. It doesn't work long. When Stefan insists on the Wolfgang producing Caroline before he hands over Ty, THS gives the signal, and a bunch of armed and dangerous lycanthropes surround our beautiful brothers. A fight ensues. Somewhere in there, Ty gets inside the camper and dithers for a few minutes but then finally releases Caroline. When she gets outside, THS accosts her. Stefan gets staked in the fight. Damon gets shot. It looks like the Fang Gang is losing, when suddenly, all the wolves fall to the ground in pain (all but Ty, by the way, which seems weird). My husband and I figure Uncle John has reworked the Gilbert Gizmo, but no! It's Senior Manwitch. He's there on Elijah's behalf. Elijah made a deal with Elena that her loved ones would be protected, and Elijah always keeps his deals. As our Fang Gang beats tracks, Senior Manwitch tells Tyler that he should tell the Wolfgang to get out of Dodge.
Elsewhere, Damon and John have a heart-to-heart, even though both are under-equipped for such a thing. John says he knows the Salvatores will protect Elena, so he will cooperate with them. He gives Damon an Originals Killing-Kit: one handy dandy dagger, and a bottle of white oak tree ash in which to dip it. Other than that, John mostly spends him time keeping Elena away from the action, revealing his paternity to Jenna and secretly seeking out Katherine at episode's end.
Also, Caroline misses her meeting with Matt, but when he calls her, she's still reeling from the torture, so she clumsily lies that she's with Bonnie. Sadly for Caroline, Bonnie's at the Grill with Jeremy (because she too now knows that the Manwitch Family are Elijah's minions), so my poor Pudding Pop is so disappointed. Later, Ty comes by and tries to talk with Caroline, but she slams the door in his face. Friendship over! Poor Caroline, she's so shaken up. Luckily, Stefan is as smart as he is pretty. He rounds up Elena and Bonnie and brings them to Caroline's for a sleepover and group hug. Thank you, Show! I've been missing the friendship between our girls.
And this very same episode that started with Damon in the shower, ends with him in the bathtub, sharing some bubbles with a local TV reporter, Andie. He pours his heart out to her. He's in love with Elena, but she will never love him because of what he is, and he's gotta be who he is and blah blah blah. Once he scares her by admitting he's a killer, he has to compel her to remain unafraid. Finally, he moves in for a kiss, and by a kiss I mean the kill, or at least a good wounding. Oh, Damon!
I'll be back with the weecap ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us on the boards, where we're waiting with our rubber duckies!
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hey all, this is a busy weekend at Chez Cindy, and a lot happens in this episode, so I'm dispensing with the Previouslies.... and serving up a quick and dirty weecap. Relatedly, I've been getting some Tweets and e-mails asking for me to make the weecaps longer -- like full recap length. Thank you. I'm so flattered that you want more, but I can't do it. The short of it is: the pay and deadline for a weecap makes it to impossible. I know I did it last season, but that's when I was still getting the hang of weecapping an hour-long drama (as opposed to recapping). You know me, though. I'm loving this show, so I expect they'll be longer from time to time. Okay, now let's get to it, shall we?
Morning; Fortress Forbes Exterior: As Caroline exits and locks up, she senses someone looming behind her. It's Tyler. Last week, we left him with Jules (Third Hilton Sister/THS) poisoning his mind, so while Caroline may think he's there for friendship or more smoochies, he's pretty plainly pissed. Caroline misses this, though, and jumps right into an explanation that she can't start anything with Ty, because Matt is still "kinda" in the picture. Even when Ty nearly spits out, "Fine," in response, Caroline is oblivious and heads off toward her car, so Ty asks point-blank what happened to Mason. He then reveals that he knows the Salvatores killed Uncle Brick House. He wants to know if Caroline has known all this time. When she admits she has, he throws her up against her car and yells, "I trusted you." Watch it, Pudding Pup. It's not a full moon, so if she wants it, Vampire Barbie can easily best you.
Mossy Manse: Damon takes a shower. The camera pans up his torso, as the water drips down it. I think. Let me rewind that, just to be sure.
Three hours later...
Yep. Damon. Shower. Camera. Up. Water Down. Damon leaves the shower (BOO) when he hears intrepid girl-report Andie reporting on Rose's victims -- and Jessica, i.e. the girl who fell prey to Damon's existential crisis, last week. He walks into the bedroom with just a towel slung low around his waist (YAY). I think. Wait a tick...
Three hours later...
Yes. Just a towel around his waist. I was right. You know, sometimes it's hard to catch these things on first watch. It takes a lot of time, hence the quick and dirty weecap.
Gilbert Gables: Uncle Snark Daddy/John (sic) Gilbert is watching the same report in the Gilbert kitchen when Elena comes in and demands to know why he's there. He's there to protect her, that's all he'll say. When Jenna and Alaric find Snark in the house, the air crackles with tension. Alaric gets out as soon as he can, and Jenna pulls legal guardian rank, as she makes it clear that he's not welcome. Snark trumps her rank, and shocks the hell out of Jenna by announcing he's Elena's biological father. As he swans out of the room, Jenna looks at Elena in disbelief. "Uh...WHAT?"
Mossy Manse: Damon berates Stefan for bring Snark back to town. Stefan plays exposition fairy, reminding us about the moonstone not being destroyed, the Elijah deal, the Originals, the sacrifice and possibly that the earth is not flat. I disremember. John supposedly knows a way to keep Elena safe, but he's not talking, yet. The talk turns to Rose, and Stefan offers his condolences. Damon pshaws her death as the loss of someone he knew for all of five minutes. Stefan doesn't let him off the hook. "Well, you cared about her after... five minutes. I wonder what that means." Damon assumes his best mocking tone. "It means I care, Stefan. It means I'm changing and evolving into a man capable of greatness. You'd better watch your back, because I may just have to get a hero hairdo of my own, and steal your thunder." (And your girl.) Once Stefan is alone, he gets a text from Caroline that reads, "911."
Fortress Forbes: Caroline tells Stefan that Tyler knows Damon killed Mason. They know they can't let Damon find this all out. Caroline begs Stefan to talk to Tyler for her.
Lockwood Mansion: Jules drops by to see Tyler. She reiterates that vampires will always be the natural enemy of werewolves. He needs to leave town with her. Tyler can't and won't up and do that. Apparently, werewolves have some big code of honor about helping out other werewolves. It's all very pack-ish and a nice touch, yet Tyler remains on the fence.
Gilbert Gables: Damon arrives looking for John, but instead finds Elena. She fills him in about Snark's paternity-reveal to Jenna. Elena and Damon both trust Uncle Daddy far less than Stefan does. When he takes off to find John for "civil conversation," Elena follows along, which is probably the only way it can be anything approaching civil.
Woody Woods: Jules makes her way to an RV hidden in the woods. There she meets up with and makes out with Brady, and they talk about the Fang Gang. Brady's ready to do damage, but Jules reminds him she wants Tyler, not vengeance, then they suck face some more.
Lockwood Mansion: Stefan sneaks in to talk to Tyler, and it's gong to take some force to get Pudding Pup to listen.
Town Square: Mayoress Mama Mulva Lockwood is getting ready for the memorial service for the latest victims of the vamp animal attacks. John wants to talk to her about Council business, but she's busy and refers him to Damon Salvatore, who is now the head of said Council. Heh. I do love that. After Mulva is gone, John runs into Jeremy, who is no more thrilled to see John than the rest of the residents of Gilbert Gables. Jeremy tries to give John back his protecto-ring, if only he'll leave town, but John refuses. "What kind of a man would I be if I took that from you?" [Crickets.] He then asks his nephew to join him for lunch. Jeremy: "I think I'll pass." Once John is gone, Jeremy spots Bonnie approaching him. They're all smiley at each other, but then Senior Manwitch catches up with Bonnie, who exposits just enough to let us know she's over the Martin Manwitches and knows they're Elijah's lackeys. Senior Manwitch assures Bonnie that Elijah is a vamp of his word and will protect everyone. Bonnie's not buying it. The tense convo ends when Jeremy reaches them and asks, "Is there a problem, here?" Once Bonnie spits, "Not at all," she and Jeremy turn their backs on Senior and walk away. And hey! Hey! Jeremy puts his arms around Bonnie as they're walking and she snuggles right into him. When did that happen? No fair starting this relationship off-screen, Show!
The Grill: Jenna tells Alaric that she can't believe that Elena is her sister's husband's brother's daughter, adding, "And her mother is my boyfriend's deceased wife." Yes Jenna, and Elena is still her own Grandpa. As Jenna ponders how the secret stayed secret for so long, she spies John enter the grill and sneers as he approaches. He'd like to join her and Alaric, but Jenna's not receptive. It doesn't matter, Elena and Damon are here now, and Damon greets Uncle Daddy like an old buddy, even as the men's insincerity and mutual contempt drowns the rest of the restaurant's patrons.
Lockwood Mansion: Stefan tells Tyler it's stupid for werewolves and vampires to treat each other like natural enemies. It's a matter of choice. Ty kind of nods as if he's listening, but when his phone rings (and it's Jules) he tries to dodge Stefan and manages to yell a "Help" into the phone, before Stefan wrests it from him. When Stefan realizes who was calling, he scolds Tyler. "I'm trying to save your life. Don't you see that?" How and why would he, Stef?
Grill: After John and Damon stop measuring each other, Damon demands info. John can't trust Damon, because Originals can compel regular vamps, so for all he knows, Damon is compelled right now. Damon explains he and Stefan have been inoculating themselves with vervain to protect themselves against that very thing. The only reason Katherine is compelled to stay in the tomb is that the vervain had left her system by the time Elijah showed up and the Manwitch family lifted the magical seal. Damon starts threatening John, because that's part of his charm, but John won't be cowed. He's got hand, right now, and he knows it.
Grill, Exterior; Night: As Matt shows up for his shift, he sees Caroline and calls her out on avoiding him. He asks if they can talk when he finishes his shift. She says she'll swing by when he's closing. Once he's gone, Jules approaches Caroline and asks if she knows where Tyler is. Caroline acts like she doesn't know who Jules is and just says that she hasn't seen him. When Jules says she knows Caroline is lying, we maybe get a MYTHOLOGY MOMENT: Jules implies that lie detection is a lycanthropy gift with purchase. Caroline's had enough. She vamps out and turns on Jules, who promptly squirts her in the face with vervain. Once Caroline shakes it off, she turns back again, twice as fierce, but instead of Jules, it's Brady standing there, and he shoots Caroline right in the forehead. Son of a bitch. (Yeah, I went there.)
Brady's RV: He's got Caroline locked in a cage She's moaning and writhing in pain until she finally picks the wooden bullet out of her own fricking skull! She tries to use her strength to open the cage, but fails and is startled when she realizes Brady is right there, watching her. He's got plenty of wooden bullets and other toys and tells her, "It's going to be a long night, Sweat Pea," and then shoots her in her right breast! Aye aye aye.
Lockwood Mansion: Tyler snarls that he'll be friends with Stefan if he'll just leave now. Stefan starts to appeal to him, but when he mentions family, Tyler's gaze turns icy. Perhaps you might want to watch your phrasing, Stefan, on account of how someone in your family just killed someone in his family. Just then, Stefan's phone rings. Per the Caller ID, it's Caroline, but it's really Jules. Care Bear's still in the cage. Jules wants to exchange Vampire Barbie for Pudding Pup. As proof, she holds the phone up to Caroline's cage. Brady shoots her yet again, making Caroline scream, and presto change-o, proof!
Grill: Jenna introduces her friend Annie Starr (the reporter from the top of the episode) to Damon. Andie makes no pretense of the fact that she's quite interested in getting to know him better and offers to buy him a drink, but Damon mopes that his glass is still full and slumps over to Elena's table. And I should probably mention that when Elena sees Damon talking to Andie, she looks a little bit jealous, no? It's not just me, right? When Damon approaches her though, Elena is right back in friend mode and just notes that Damon totally blew the intrepid girl reporter right off. Damon's on a self-imposed female embargo and tells Elena, "Trust me, it's in the best interest of women everywhere." Just then Stefan calls and fills Elena in on the Caroline situation. When Damon finds out what's going on, he wants to kill Tyler, but Elena begs him not to. She grabs his arms and says, "Too many people are dead." Damon tells her she needs to stop doing that, so she pulls her hands back as she asks what he means. Damon: "Assuming I'll play the good guy because it's you who's asking." Elena sighs. "Be the better man, Damon." Just then, John bursts in on their private conversation. Damon pushes past him to go find Caroline. Elena wants to come with, so Damon tells John, "First dad duty? Ground your daughter. Keep her here." To Elena's chagrin, John does just that. He stops her and demands to know what's going on.
Brady's RV: Brady continues torturing Caroline with vervain and whatever else as he tries to question her about how many vamps are in town. He blows wooden darts into her neck and I can't recap this in detail because it's too awful. Poor Vampire Barbie. Jules doesn't seem too pleased with Brady's enthusiasm. She just wants to help Tyler. Duty to their own kind defines "who we are." Brady disagrees. These are vampires. "They cross one of us, they cross all of us. That's who we are."
The Grill: Lucky Elena is subjected to a little daddy/daughter bonding time with Snark. He sneers at her for making a deal with Elijah and then tries to play the family card. The judges give his technique 2 points. Total. That's like out of five judges, man. He must have gone to the Stefan School of Smooth Moves.
Brady's RV: Stefan brings Tyler to Jules. If she'll let Caroline go, he'll release Tyler. Stefan says they don't have to be enemies. Jules says it's too late for that. Stefan warns her to get out of town and then Damon shows up to make things worse, threatening that it's not an even fight. "We'll take you." Just then Jules wolf-whistles and a whole Pucking Wolfgang (armed for vamp fighting) arrives in the clearing. The Salvatores free Tyler, and then just stand there. Damon's sure they can take the Wolfgang. Stefan, less so. Brady demands to know which brother killed Mason. Damon cops to it with his usual attitude, and Brady orders the Wolfgang to make sure Damon suffers. Damon lunges right at Jules, but it seems she's got some sort of ninja leaping power, even when the moon isn't full.
I am not your action recapper. Suffice to say there are flame throwers and stakes, but Damon rips out at least one Wolfgang member's heart. While Stefan's catching crossbow-launched stakes, Tyler enters the RV. Caroline begs him to release her and he hesitates, which makes me want to punch him, considering how much she's done for him. While Tyler finally gets a move on -- outside, Stefan is staked in the back. Caroline rushes outside just as Jules fires a wooden bullet into Damon. She then rushes Caroline and pushes her against the RV. Tyler stands idly by like Duncan Fricking Kane. On the ground, Brady rises to his knees, raises a stake in the air and prepares to plunge it into Damon's chest -- the very same chest the upon which the camera panned up, just this morning -- the very same chest upon which the water dripped down, just this morning. Clearly, Brady has no appreciation of beauty and must be put down like the blind, rabid dog he is. Just then, the whole Wolfgang falls to the ground in pain (all but Ty, by the way, which seems weird). My husband and I figure Uncle John has reworked the Gilbert Gizmo, but no! It's Senior Manwitch. He's there on Elijah's behalf. Elijah made a deal with Elena that her loved ones would be protected, and Elijah always keeps his deals. As our Fang Gang beats tracks, Senior Manwitch tells Tyler that he should tell the Pucking Wolfgang to get the hell out of town.
Brady's RV: Ty shows up and tells Jules and Brady he's sorry about their friends. When Brady passes Ty a bottle of hooch, Ty asks if it's always "like this." Brady says no way, it's just the vampires' fault for existing. In the course of conversation, Tyler mentions Mason's moonstone quest. Brady and Jules are obviously interested.
Fortress Forbes: Stefan shows up at Caroline's. She wearing a robe when she answers the door, and when she opens it, my husband laughs that Stefan's going to get himself in trouble, but I know what's going on here. Stefan has Elena and Bonnie standing just out of sight. They pop out when Stefan says he brought her some back up. Elena says, "We're gonnna slumber it." Slumber it? Really? Is that a saying? Bonnie adds, "We haven't done that in ages." Caroline cries as her girls hug her. Stefan looks on smiling and mouths, "I love you," to Elena, before leaving the ladies to their evening.
Mossy Manse; Damon's Tub: Damon and Andie are taking a bubble bath. Oh my goodness, this is the prettiest episode, ever. It's not long though, before Damon admits he's in love with a woman he can never have. He can't have her, and it's driving him crazy. He's not in control. "I'm bad, Andie. I do things. I kill people." Andie's smile fades when she realizes he's not kidding, so Damon scoots toward her and compels her not to be afraid. When she asks why he kills people, Damon says, "Because I like it. It's in my nature. It's who I am. But then I have to stay together and protect her, and she wants me to be the better man, which means I can't be who I am." When Andie suggests that perhaps love is changing him, Damon tells her to stop talking and to kiss him. "Be my distraction." But when his lips wander to her neck, his fangs emerge and Andie's blood flows down her wet and bubble-covered back.
Ye Olde Tomb: John goes to visit Katherine, who is still slithering around in there. She was expecting Isobel. John tells her this visit is just between her, him and Isobel. Katherine says, "I want out of this tomb, John." John nods. "I'm already on it." What oh what is he going to do? I actually do believe he wants to protect Elena, but still, I'm with Elena and Damon, right now. I don't trust him.
That's it for this week, kids. I'll be back with this week's recaplet on Friday morning. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us on the boards, where we're waiting with our rubber duckies!
Join our vloggers in debating whether Diaries beats True Blood, below, then see why the show is so addictive!
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!