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Welcome back, everyone. Our show is back with a bang. Since it picks up right where we left off, let's get to it, shall we?
Stefan is barely in this episode, but he's shirtless and smooching Elena right up top. I think that's the writers' way of apologizing for the seemingly endless hiatus. And dayum, all is forgiven. Stefan spends most of the episode tracking Isobel, because, as you'll remember, Katherine claims Isobel has the scoop on Satan Klaus. Stefan gets Isobel's old phone number from Alaric and leaves an Elena-centric message, hoping to draw Mommy out. By episode's end, he's back, but not with her. Oh, no. He's got Uncle Snark Daddy in tow. Hello there, John Gilbert.
Meanwhile, Rose is dying of the werewolf bite (meant for Damon) that she got from Jules, Mason's alleged friend. Damon leaves Elena to care for Rose while he seeks a wolf bite cure. Once the ladies are alone, Rose hallucinates, thinks Elena is Katherine and gets violent. Elena fights her off as best she can. At nightfall, Rose flees Mossy Manse for the big event in town (did they even give this one a name?). She kills an African-American janitor, because in Mystic Falls, if you're any darker than Nina Dobrev and not supernatural, you're vamp kibble. Not that I'm confident the witches of color have long lifespans. *lays flowers on the graves of Bree and Grams*
Eventually, Damon gets poor, suffering, confused Rose home, and he and Elena tend to her as she dies. Rose encourages Elena to fight harder for her life. When Damon tries to ease Rose's passing by entering and controlling her dream (a la Katherine and Stefan), they spend a perfect imaginary day in her Cornish hometown. Dream-Rose's thoughts on humanity and family affect our Evil Pixie Monster more than he'd like. Finally, back in the real world, he euthanizes her with a stake, as a single, perfect, manly tear streams down his pretty pink cheek, but don't expect our blue eyed boy to go sit on his magical toadstool and cry. Not this time.
Elsewhere, Matt kisses Caroline and wants to get back together. She admits she loves him, but since she doesn't want to drag him into her vampyric world, she has to refuse him without explanation. And if that's not bad enough, when she gets home, Tyler's waiting for her with some smoochies of his own. Poor Vampire Barbie is into the kiss, it's clear, but she doesn't want to be. She hollers that everyone needs to stop kissing her and dashes inside.
Later, Tyler meets up with Jules (whom I'm really starting to resent) at the Grill. She tells him she knows he's a werewolf, and that Caroline is a vampire -- the vampire who killed Mason. That last bit is totally not true. She also tells Ty that the town is crawling with vampires, which is true. Once Tyler realizes that Caroline lied about being the only vampire in Mystic Falls, I don't think he's going to believe she didn't kill Brick House. Oh this show spoils me so! I'm totally making out with it in my head, right now.
The big point of this episode though, is to showcase Damon's growing humanity. His concern for Rose, his guilt that she was bitten by Jules (who meant to get him) and his sorrow at her passing, move him more than he can stand. When Elena tries to get him to talk about it, and hugs him when he won't, that's the last straw. Once he's alone, he gets good and drunk and then goes out and plays the old Lie-In-The-Road trick. A young woman stops to help him. He compels her not to move and then Hamlets all over her. When he frees her from his compulsion, it seems his better angels have won, but they so have not. As our victim of the week starts to get back in her car, Damon sinks his fangs into her flesh and drinks deep. Now go on. Woobify that!
Please grade the episode at the top of the page now, and, hey, grade it when you come back to read the weecap -- which will be up, ASAP. Until then, please join us on the boards where it actually is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, lest TWoP Barnes takes arms against a sea of troubles.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Welcome back, everyone. Our show is back with a bang. Since it picks up right where we left off ages ago, I will not keep you waiting. I'm much kinder than the CW's scheduling monkeys.
Previously, on The Vampire Diaries, Damon killed Mason "Brick House" Lockwood. Mason's wolfy friend Jules (a.k.a. Third Hilton Sister aka THS) showed up in Mystic Falls, looking for him. Damon pissed her off, so she "marked" him (in a way that may or may not have involved pee). But when the full moon crested, Wolf-Jules ended up off the mark, and bit Rose, instead. Elsewhere, Tyler and Caroline bonded over his first transition into wolfdom, and Elena tried to sacrifice herself to keep her loved ones safe, but ended up cutting a deal with Elijah that stinks to high heaven. Also, Junior Manwitch tricked Bonnie into thinking they destroyed the moonstone, oh and there was probably a bunch of other stuff too, but who cares? We've got new TVD, right...
NOW: The episode opens on THS lying naked in the woods. Her lips and hands are smeared with blood (but her hair is perfect! Aroooo werewolves of Mystic). She rises and walks a piece to a campsite, which is littered with the bodies (and stray body parts) of an extremely unfortunate camping party. She swipes some clothes, and is piling the bodies (and parts!) atop the campfire, when a deputy or ranger or someone happens upon her. THS kneels, cries and plays the victim, while Mr. Ranger goes to call in the slaughter. Once his back is turned, she kills him.
Mossy Manse: Elena enters Stefan's room looking for him, and he Stealth-Salvatores up behind her and surprises her. He's all shirtless and smoochy, but still spoils the moment when he insists they do some more research on Satan Klaus. As Elena prepares a diluted mixture of Vervain, and Stefan (sadly) puts on a shirt, he says that he wants to find Isobel and get some more answers. He's not 100% comfy that Elijah's deal is sound, and besides it's her deal, not his. Even diluted, the Vervain chokes Stefan and brings him to the floor. But he wants to build up a tolerance, which is pretty smart. Now, since Elena tasted the vervain mixture before giving it to Stefan, people in the forums are wondering if she's still feeding Stefan little bits of her blood to build up his human blood tolerance as well. I don't think her little taste of Vervain rules that out, so unless we're told otherwise, I'm assuming Stefan's still working the human blood angle, too, because he needs the enhanced vamp features to protect his girl. When Elena asks how Elijah can compel another vampire, Stefan doesn't know. "He's an Original. Nobody really knows what that means..." Not even the writers yet, apparently. When Elena tries to argue with him, he kisses her into silence.
Downstairs at Mossy Manse: Rose is doing math. She was born in 1450. She's 560 years old and figures that she can die, since she's lived long enough. Damon tells her if she's going to be maudlin, he might kill her himself. As he pours her a glass of bagged blood, he points out that legends are notoriously untrustworthy. But when he looks at the bite site, he hesitates too long when trying to assure Rose it looks better (which is so does not). Elena walks in and tries to lie, too, but I don't think Rose is buying it. Damon wants to talk to Stefan, so Elena tattles that he's going to look for Isobel. She wants Damon to stop him, but Damon is fully on board with Stefan's plan. He asks Elena to play nurse to Rose while he goes out to look for a cure, even as he tries to pretend he's all "death happens. We come, we go." Faker.
MFHS Campus: At this point, rather than being annoyed by all the events in this town, I'm just tickled to see what the writers come up with . This week, the side of a school bus informs us it's the "Mystic Falls High School Booster Club Barbecue." When Caroline spots Tyler across the way, she's thrilled to see him. He's still sore from his transition, but Caroline encourages him to enjoy the small victories, reminding him he didn't hurt anyone. He thanks her for seeing him through, and they're all kind of cute and flirty. She ends up telling him that a wolf bite can be fatal for vampires. Before Tyler can fully react, Matt walks up, so Tyler leaves them alone. Caroline assures Pudding Pop that there's nothing going on between her and Pudding Pup. Matt believes her; he just wants to talk. But talking turns to kissing, as it will. Caroline lets herself enjoy it for a moment, but then shuts it off, tells him they can't and leaves him hanging.
The Grill: As THS checks in with Sheriff Forbes about Mason's disappearance, Alaric calls Damon to let him know she's at the Grill. Stefan arrives and comments that Alaric is doing Damon's dirty work for him. This scene has somehow turned a faction of the fandom against Stefan, but I'm not seeing the big sin, here. Damon and Stefan love each other, but they don't always like each other, so there's no reason he's going to be singing Damon's praises to Alaric. At any rate, Stefan asks Alaric if he has a way to contact Isobel. Once Alaric realizes it's about Elena and Satan Klaus (rather than Rose), he says he has an old number. It's probably out of service, but if he can find it, he'll text it to Stef.
Mossy Manse: Elena tucks a suffering Rose into Damon's bed. It's our first look at his room, and Elena jokes about being surprised he doesn't have silk sheets. There's an adjoining bath with a big old tub, and oh yeah, Elena's thinking about it, even if she pretends she's not. She examines the books by the side of his bed and rolls her eyes in amusement, when she sees the book on top is Gone With the Wind. I laugh so hard I have to pause my TiVo. Rose tells Elena that she's lucky. "No one's ever loved me the way you're loved." She then bemoans her years without love and family, when she was on the run from Elijah. Trevor was her best friend, but that's all. She can't figure out why Elena's so ready to give up. Elena says she's not. Rose wonders if Elena really buys that Bonnie was able to destroy the moonstone. Elena says she doesn't buy it. She's (rightly) assuming the witch who helped Bonnie must be Elijah's witch. Rose can't believe Elena is ready to die. "At least I ran. You're not even trying." She starts to drift off, and then talks in her sleep, about Trevor preparing the horses. She writhes in pain and wakes enough to ask Elena for more blood. When Elena gives it to her, Rose vomits it up. Elena runs for a towel and when she returns to the bedroom, Rose isn't in the bed. She Stealth-Salvatores up behind Elena and... COMMERCIAL.
After the break, Rose vamps out and confuses Elena for Katherine. Elena is able to bring her back to the present day. When lucid, Rose is horrified at her mistake and begs Elena not to fear her. Elena says she doesn't as she steers Rose back to bed, and tries to keep her rooted in the present. Rose wants to go home -- to St. Austell (Cornwall, England). It's all field and trees and horses. I'd like to go there, too! Who's with me? Rose bemoans her wasted years and thank goodness we cut away, because I have liked Rose from the get-go, but I'm suddenly with Damon. If she doesn't stop being so maudlin, I'll kill her, myself.
Grill: Stefan calls Isobel's number and leaves her an Elena-centric message. Damon walks in and Stefan tries to keep him from doing anything rash to THS, because...you know -- Damon! They snark at each other and Damon keeps pretending he's not upset about Rose dying. When he finally talks to THS, he promises he won't harm her, if only she'll tell him how to cure Rose. THS pretends like she's going along, but then smiles. "Bite me." And, yeah, I'm with those of you who think there's truth behind that wisecrack. I bet werewolf blood is the cure. Too bad Damon (who is usually sharper) doesn't get there in this episode, because SPOILER: Rose is so gonna die. When Damon persists in asking for a cure, THS gets awfully cocky, detailing all the agonies Rose will suffer. But I get a little pissed at him when she mentions the dementia and that Rose will turn rabid. I mean, I thought it was dumb he left Elena to play nurse, in the first place, but when he did, Rose was lucid and as weak as a kitten, so I can understand how he made that mistake. But now? He knows there's a chance she'll lose itand yet he doesn't rush back to Mossy Manse? That just seems out of character, to me. At any rate, THS tells him the only cure is to stake Rose in the heart. She then struts off, and we return to...
Mossy Manse: Elena brings some clean sheets into the room, but Rose is gone. Elena calls someone (Damon?) and leaves a message that she's worried about Rose and that [whoever] should come home. She finds Rose in the basement, sucking down more blood. Rose is again delusional and convinced Elena is Katerina. There's chasing, and hiding, and opening curtains to burn Rose. Elena tries to run out of the house, but Rose is too fast for her. Elena barricades herself in Stefan's room, opens the doors the to balcony, and then doesn't go out and sit in the sunshine, which makes me yell at my TV. I hate yelling at my TV. It's my friend. Poor old TV.
MFHS: Matt tracks down Caroline and wants to know why she ran away from his kiss. She admits she loves him, but she can't be with him. He wants to know what she's keeping from him and says if she loves him, she'll tell him, but when they're interrupted by a cheerleader in need of more burgers (not a euphemism, because what would that even mean), Caroline disappears.
Mossy Manse; After Dark (sounds like an adult TV show): More tension. Elena has a makeshift stake. Blah blee bloo. Finally, Damon arrives home. They can't find Rose. That's because Rose is at the...
MFHS Event O' The Week: She's choking and suffering, so a kindly janitor, who is (OF COURSE) African-American, tries to help her, and she eats him. As I said in the recaplet, if you're not supernatural, and happen to have any more melanin than Nina Dobrev, you are a total goner on this show. Even a lot of the supernaturals don't fare so well, like Tomb Vamp, Bree, Grams. You know the drill. C'mon show. It's 2011.
Damon runs into She's the Sheriff, who informs him of the janitor's demise and asks for his vamp hunting help. Meanwhile, delusional Rose attacks some teenagers (white, this time) in the parking lot. Damon stops her, gets through to her, and he and Elena take her home. Poor Rose. She's not only suffering physically, she's also devastated when she realizes she's killed. I like that TVD vampires aren't automatically cold-blooded killers and that souls aren't so much of an issue. It's a nice twist on the myth.
Anyhow, back at the Manse, Rose apologizes to him and Elena. Damon tries to chase Elena away, but she remains. Rose goes into how conflicted her vampirism makes her feel. There's immediate pleasure after a kill, but it hurts, because she wasn't meant to be evil. Damon snaps at her to stop talking about it. When he turns his back, Rose addresses Elena. "Damon's a lot like me. He wants to care, but the minute he does, he runs away from it." Damon's back is turned, but we see him wince in recognition of the truth. Rose then apologizes for all she's done today, and tells Elena: "You need to fight. I know that you're scared, but you have to do it anyhow." She also wonders why Elena is so nice. Elena chalks it up to humanity. Rose then mourns her lost humanity, saying, "You never forget it." It's not long before she's moaning and screaming. Damon chases Elena out of the room and holds Rose, trying to comfort her.
Fortress Forbes: Tyler is waiting on the stoop when Caroline gets home. He wants to know why Caroline has done so much for him when he's such a danger to her. Caroline asks why it's so hard for him to let someone help. She starts to rant that she cares about him, and is all, "So forgive me if I overstepped my boundaries by actually giving a..." It's then that Pudding Pup lays a big old smooch on her. Caroline likes it, because when he pulls back and moves in more softly, she goes all in. But finally she stops him and yells, "Everyone just needs to stop kissing me!" and runs in the house. Hee!
Mossy Manse: Once Rose falls asleep in Damon's arm, he compels her to dream (the way he's compelled Elena and the way Katherine has compelled Stefan). They're back in her Cornish village, in ye olde olden days of olde. She's in a field with horses and Damon. Insert your own stallion joke here. As Dream-Rose soaks up the sun, she talks about missing her humanity, friends and family. She tells Dream-Damon that he's built up a life, but he tries to change the subject. The scene is beautiful and touching, even with cuts back to the real world and Mossy Manse. Dream Rose wants to know if she'll see her family again. Dream Damon tells her he thinks she'll see whoever she wants to see. Her pain is gone and she's no longer afraid. Back at Mossy Manse, Damon lifts a stake and raises it over Rose's heart. Back in the dream, Dream Rose proposes a race to the trees. Dream Damon says she'll lose, but she reminds him she's older and has better insurance. Oh, sorry. Fried Green Tomatoes moment. She reminds him she's older and faster. Dream Rose tells him they'll start on the count of three. She starts: "One... two..." and back at Mossy Manse, Damon plunges the stake into her heart. A single, perfect manly, Dean Winchester-esque tear rolls down his face as Rose dies in his arms.
Road on the Side of the Woods: Damon meets up with Sheriff Forbes, shows him Rose's corpse in his trunk and says, "Here's your vampire." When the Sheriff thanks him, he says he'll take care of burying the body.
The Grill: Tyler arrives, to meet THS, who tells him she knows he's a werewolf and Caroline is a vampire. She realizes Tyler is brand-new, because he hasn't sniffed out all the vampires in town, yet. She offers her help, but Tyler just wants to know where Mason is. THS tells Ty that Brick House was murdered. True. And that his "little blonde vampire" did it. LIE! THS really needs to die in a fire, yeah? Ty doesn't believe it at first, but when THS informs him that the town is crawling with vampires (which means Caroline lied to him) he starts to doubt his Vampire Barbie. Before we cut away, THS informs our Pudding Pup that there are other werewolves out there, and they're on the way.
Mossy Manse: When Damon arrives home, Elena tries to get Damon to talk about his feelings. At first he resists, but then he admits he feels and it sucks. Specifically, he feels guilty that Wolfy THS gave Rose the bite meant for him. He tells Elena to leave, but you know our girl. She doesn't give up (except when her own life is on the line), so she stops, grabs Damon, and hugs him. He doesn't hug her back. He just stands there feeling feeling feeling and it's clear from his face that his feelings are too much for him to handle. Whoa whoa whoa feelings.
Gilbert Gables: When Elena arrives home, Stefan is waiting for her. He asks after Rose, and Elena delivers the sad news. When she asks if he found Isobel, Uncle Snark Daddy John (sic! sic! sic!), comes out of lurk and says, "Not exactly." YAY! More trouble's a-brewing. How I love this show.
Dark Road: Once he's alone, Damon gets good and drunk and then goes out and plays the old Lie-In-The-Road trick. A young woman stops to help him. He compels her not to move and then Hamlets all over her about his existential crisis and how he needs help and doesn't want any trouble, and yet that's all he has. It goes like this...
Damon: I have a secret. It's a big one! And I've never said it out loud. I mean what's the point? It's not going to change anything. It's not going to make me good, or make me adopt a puppy. I can't be what other people want me to be, what she wants me to be. This is who I am, Jessica.
Jessica: Are you going to hurt me?
Damon: I'm not sure. Because you are my existential crisis. Do I kill you? Or do I not kill you?
Jessica: Please don't...
Damon: But I have to, Jessica. Because I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world! That is my secret, but there is so much hurt a man can take.
When Jessica again begs him not to kill her, Damon de-thralls her. So she runs to her car. Damon turns to watch her go, and then Stealth-Salvatores up behind her and sinks his fangs into her throat. NOOOoooooooooooo. Okay, actually? YES! I love a good redemption story, but a good one isn't a smooth one. I don't want Damon to be a woobie. If he's going to end up a real boy, I want him to get there the hard way. As Jessica's body slumps to the ground, we get a shot of Damon's vamped-out face. Blood drips from his lips. The whites of his beautiful blue eyes are completely red. And bang. Title Card!
I'll be back Friday with this week's recaplet. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us on the boards, where it actually is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, lest TWoP Barnes takes arms against a sea of troubles.
Join our vloggers in debating whether Diaries beats True Blood, below, then see why the show is so addictive!
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!