It seems my summarizing abilities are stored in the same section of my brain that gets disabled when I'm flailing about. Are you flailing? I am so flailing. Here, feel my flail.
From the opening cross-cuts between Stefan and Elena's tender love scene and Katherine and Mason's sizzling heat, it's obvious we're in for a treat, but that treat is so not warm chocolate pudding. If you're looking for solace, look elsewhere, because The Vampire Diaries "Plan B" is not only the same as its plan A, it's also the same as Damon's bad, wrong, very bad and wrong impulse: plunge hot pokers into the chest; rip out the heart; throw it across the room. Yeah, my beautiful Evil Pixie Monster huffs and puffs and blows my beautiful Brick House down, and I would be furious, were it not so glorious.
But the fun only begins there. What's that, girl? Stefan's stuck down a well -- a well full of vervain stew? And Elena saves him? Again? Awesome. Then there's Miss Caroline, who not only reconnects to Bonnie, but tends to Liz. Care Bear wins over Mama Bear to the point where Liz promises (and seems sincere) not to out Caroline to the Council, but baby is a smart girl. She knows she has to compel away her mom's memory (and their newfound accord) in order to protect her friends from Liz and Liz from her friends.
The episode seems to be at a full boil, when Katherine calls Elena and lets her know that she and Stefan and their break-up charade haven't fooled her one bit. AND THEN AUNT JENNA PLUNGES A KNIFE INTO HER OWN GUT! Apparently she's been under Kat's compulsion for a bit, and has been a willing, compliant spy. Nothing else big can happen, now. The rest will all be denouement, yeah?
NO! After Jeremy and Elena learn their beloved auntie/crap guardian will live, the drama really amps up. Elena heads to mossy manse to find a tearful, shaken and recovering Stefan futilely trying to warm himself by the fire. He knows what's coming -- why she's there, but Elena needs to say it anyhow. She loves him with all her heart and knows he loves her, but they have to break up. They have to let Katherine win, because she has won -- already. A standing O for Paul Wesley here, because not a lot of guys, no matter how proficient, could have pulled off this level of searing pain with such vulnerability. Can we rest now, Buffy? No, we cannot. As Elena flees Mossy Manse, she's stopped by Damon -- who I'm totally not speaking to at the moment on account of him killing the pretty. But then he drops the Evil Pixie Monster act (and possibly the eye thing,) admits to riling up Katherine and not only accepts the blame for his actions, but actively courts it -- cracking the shell I so hastily erected around my admittedly fickle heart. It's different. He has a soul now. So now we're done, right? Oh no siree, Bob.
Katherine, that evil bitch mistress from hell, doesn't only have a plan A and B. She's got a whole alphabet full, and she's skipping right to Trouble with a capital T, that rhymes with P, and that stands for Pudding Pop. That's right, she's compelling our darling Donovan in the worst of ways, because she needs a werewolf, see, so Matt has his marching orders: go at Tyler Lockwood and at him, and at him, and at him -- until Tyler kills him.
"Plan B" is A+ work from the whole cast and crew. If you haven't seen it yet, drop whatever you're doing and rectify the situation. I'll be back with the full weecap, ASAP, but until then, please join us on the boards where we're sharpening our stakes and etching them with a giant K, which stands for Kill Katherine and ought to rhyme with Get your thrall off my Pudding Pop, you bitch, but admittedly does not.
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