Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Damon And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.22.2010
Mossy Manse: Anna visits Damon. She's sorry that Pearl's Suck of Vampires kidnapped and tortured Stefan, and is calling on Pearl's behalf, because Pearl doesn't "do" apologies. Damon thinks that's a swell coincidence, as he doesn't "do" forgiveness. He does offer a helpful hint, though. Don't hit the hospital blood bank so hard that even the stupid humans notice. Anna says they haven't been there in a week or so. Damon suggests maybe someone in the Suck did it. Anna explains that after the Stefan-Incident, Pearl kicked them out.
MFHS Exterior: Elena chases after Bonnie and gets frostbite as she tries to generate conversation about the family, Grams' death, etc. Finally Bonnie explains that once Elena told her the tomb spell failed, she just didn't want to come back, because it seems her Grams died for nothing. Elena understands, but didn't think it right to keep that information from Bonnie. Bonnie wishes she had. Just then Caroline runs up, embraces Bonnie, and tells her she missed her, even though they talked every day while Bonnie was at her aunt's. Elena's eyes water at that, but she doesn't cry. Anyhow, Caroline has the perfect busy work for Bonnie -- helping Caroline pick the perfect dress for the Founders' Court -- Miss Mystic Falls. It seems Elena missed the announcement and forgot she even applied or signed up, or did whatever one does to get named to a Founders' Court. When Elena is less that enthusiastic about the idea, Caroline asks (oh so hopefully) if perhaps she's dropping out. Elena can't. Bonnie explains that Elena's late mother is the one who encouraged her to sign up in the first place.
Sidebar: Lemme get that straight. Miranda and Grayson Gilbert died on May 23, 2009. This year's Miss Mystic Falls pageant is in April, presumably. From conversation I didn't bother recapping, it's pretty clear that Miranda was still alive when Elena registered for this year's pageant. So -- you have to register more than a year in advance for a local pageant? Really, Show? That's a little...dumb. I like everything that always happens at these founders events, and I know it's necessary to tie today's story back to the 1864 story, but the premise is nearly threadbare from overuse. It's less credible week to week. I hope it's less of an issue next year.
Mossy Manse: Damon tries to get Stefan to admit that his new swagger can be chalked up to a change in diet and I don't mean Activia. Stefan lies with a smile on his face and a song in his heart, but Damon's not buying. "You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for Prozac, and now you expect me to believe that this new you has nothing to do with human blood. Nothing." Stefan swears he's clean. Damon: "You're lying." Stefan: "Believe what you want." Oh Stefan, insisting on that last denial is such a dead giveaway. Small nitpick: Because of this show's strong track record of characters sharing important information, I'm a little disappointed that Damon fails to tell Stefan that the Council is aware of the missing blood.
Later, Stefan is on the phone with Elena, who tells him about the forgotten Founders' Court commitment and asks him to be her escort. Miranda Gilbert was way into this stuff and was even Miss Mystic in her day. Stefan says they'll do it up and it will be fun, which should set off all her alarms. After they hang up, Stefan checks his bureau for more blood. When there's none to be had in his secret stash, he heads down to the basement to his enormous, refrigerated, double-secret stash. Sadly, for him, Damon catches him. Sadly, for us, there's a COMMERCIAL.
Busted Stefan's all, "So, I'm drinking blood again?" Then he deflects blame for good measure. "You're the one who shoved it on me." Then he tries on a little denial. "I have it under control." Damon points out that robbing a hospital isn't having it under control. I want to know Damon's definition of same. A couple of weeks ago, he was dining on a couple of pre-packaged liters of Soccer Mom, right? Where was he getting that blood? Where's he getting his blood, now? At any rate, Damon reminds him they're trying to keep a low profile. "Why don't you just walk up to Sheriff Forbes and ask her to tap a vein." Stefan smirks. "Have my actions negatively impacted you?" Hee. Okay, Damon's right, but he totally deserved that. When Damon can't get Stefan's attention, he tries a new tack. "What's Elena think about the...new...you." Stefan says nothing has changed, and Elena doesn't need to know anything, yet. Damon reminds Stefan that since he's been off the human stuff for years, it's going to take a while for him to adjust to his fortified diet. Stefan can't and won't hear him. "I know it pains you to see this, but I'm fine, okay? I'm fine. So please, do me a favor -- and back off."
Founders Hall: Carol "Mulva" Lockwood interviews the Miss Mystic Falls candidates. The dialogue jumps back and forth between the girls, so I'll give you the lowdown on the candidates of note. Caroline: involved in every school and community activity there. Elena: used to be involved, but has done squat since her parents died. Amber Bradley (Spencer Locke; Kylie on Cougar Town): token townie (i.e. not from a "founding family"). There's a brunette (possibly a Fell cousin) who already won once, but doesn't think that should disqualify her. Whatever. It's blonde Autumn Dial's Tina Fell who has the line of the hour. "Just because my DUI made my community service mandatory, doesn't mean I was any less committed."
Mossy Manse: Uncle Snark shows up because Damon hasn't returned any of his calls. Is it just me, or does Anders look like he's wearing an old lady's wig, placed a little too far back. Can he have his Sark-era hair back, please? Anyhow, he wants to know when they're going to start catching vampires. Damon doubts Snark's commitment to the task, since he's standing there talking to a vampire. He then does a little digging. "What did Isobel say about that? I mean, considering she is one." Snark (note his use of the present tense): "Isobel and I share a mutual interest..." A daughter? "The original Johnathan (sic) Gilbert had an invention that was stolen by a vampire..." blah blah blah. Original Johnathan thought it was lost when the vampires were burned in Fells Church, but of course, they weren't burnt, so the invention wasn't so lost. Snark wants it back, and says Damon's going to help him find it, if he wants to keep his secret safe. Damon claims he has no idea what John's talking about. Snark's point is that Damon knows what the ye olde tyme vampires look like, but when he specifically mentions Pearl, Damon shuts him down and kicks him out. Was having his baby blues gouged out the only reminder our bad boy needed, to keep him from messing up Pearl's sandbox? Nah. Damon only suffered Snark's presence in the first place, because he thought he and Isobel might lead him to Katherine. Ugh. He figures if Snark and Isobel were in contact with Katherine, they'd know who Pearl is, because Katherine and Pearl are best friends. When Snark threatens to tell the Council what Damon really is, Damon tells him to bring it on. "I'll kill every last one of them, then I'll sever your hand, pull your ring off, and I'll kill you, too. Do you understand that?" I already hate Katherine. Do you understand that? DUN!
Totally Unspoiled Predication: Eventually, Katherine's going to have to come back, and eventually, Damon's going to have to be the one to kill her. It's the only way he's going to grow as much as he'll need to, in order to stay in the good graces of Elena and company.
MFHS; Interior: The young ladies of the Founders Court and their escorts practice dancing to Strauss's "On the Beautiful Blue Danube." If you only recognize one waltz -- that's the one. The partners begin their dance not touching. When Stefan and Elena break that rule, Mama Mulva stops them. "There's no touching during this part. It's about the simple intimacy of the near-touch." Stefan thinks the near-touch is overrated, but Damon will prove him wrong later. Don't you worry.
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