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Logan "Scum" Fell is a vampire. He's back, and he's hungry, particularly for something Jenna-flavored, but based on his reaction when Jenna has the good sense to refuse him an invite, I wouldn't say he's picky. As a seemingly orphaned baby vamp (more on that in the weecap), Scum is not too clear on monster etiquette. He's also desperate to get some revenge on the Brothers Salvatore, or at least find out how and why they're "daywalkers" but his go-to means of persuasion is wooden bullets, so Damon's not feeling too chatty. When Scum absconds with Caroline from some nighttime event at the school, it's Damon and Stefan to her rescue. Since Scum has rendered the poor thing unconscious, Stefan takes her home, leaving Damon to slay Scum. And he's totally going to. He just wants to find out who sired him, first. If Scum knows, he's not saying, so Damon's about to decapitate him. But then -- Scum tells Damon he knows another way to free the vamps held captive beneath the old Falls Church (where Katherine and two baker's dozen other vamps are magically buried). Damon can't resist, so when he sees the Sheriff approaching the scene, he tells Scum to make it look like he over-powered him and then take off -- which he does. They plan to meet later, in the woods. When the sheriff arrives, Damon plays helpless and hapless human to the understanding Sheriff who is just glad to hear her daughter got home safely.
Meanwhile, Jeremy tries to make nice with Tyler, but Tyler hasn't been enthralled to the extent Jeremy was, so they end up coming to blows. Their fight is broken up by Tyler's Mayor-Dad and that new teacher who likes invites and bling -- Alaric Saltzman. But the Mayor then drags the boys outside and tries to make them fight each other, even though they're not interested. Alaric follows them and puts a stop to the Mayor's sadistic game, but not before the Mayor is all too rough on his son, acting -- in Alaric's words, like "a full-grown alpha male douche bag." Later, Alaric encounters Scum, knows him for what he is, and stakes him. Sigh. I have such a thing for slayers. And of course, because Damon can fall in shit and come up smelling like roses, when the sheriff finds Scum's decaying, vamp corpse, she thinks Damon is to thank -- so she does. And somewhere in there, Germ hunts Tyler down, and offers sympathy that his father is such a dick, but his sympathy pisses Tyler off, so he punches Germ. When Germ asks Ty what his problem is, Ty pauses under the FULL MOON, staggers, and says, "I don't know." Say, did anyone else think it was hinky that MFHS' teams are the Timberwolves? Yeah, me neither. Arrooooooo!
Meanwhile, Stefan and Elena continue to ride the seesaw of love. At first, that's a metaphor. Later? Not so much, if you know what I'm saying, and I know you do. Also? She tells him she loves him. But after the loving, he leaves her in his room while he goes to get her a drink, and she (FINALLY) finds Katherine's portrait – on account of the fact that he just left it lying out! Stefan's super-vamp hearing fails him, and he doesn't hear her take off. When he returns to his room, all that's left is her Vervain-laced amulet, lying atop Katherine's picture. As the magical necklace-free Elena makes her tearful way through the night, some vamp or other boogedy boogedy jumps in front of her car and she doesn't have time to swerve; she hits him; her windshield breaks; her car goes careening and flips over and over, landing upside down. Still trapped in the car, Elena tries not to freak as she looks out the window at her "victim." He unbreaks all his bones, stands and strides towards her wrecked car. Elena screams because these BASTARDS ARE LEAVING US HANGING LIKE THIS FOR THE HOLIDAY HIATUS. Grr. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
I'll catch you on the flipside with the full weecap, which will include Matt's feelings for Caroline!!! In the meantime, come on over to the forums. It will keep you from inviting your ex in. Seriously? Don't invite him in.
Want more? The full recap starts right below! Previously, on The Vampire Diaries: your faithful recapper promised her tween daughter that for said daughter's birthday, she would take said daughter and friends to see New Moon, and then out for ice cream and then, said recapper would host a slumber party for them. And being a woman of her word, your faithful recapper did all these things, and then nearly died, because 11 year olds have no problem staying up until 2:00 AM, provided they've loaded up on sugar, whereas faithful recappers [who may possibly be age (11 times 3) and then some], are not nearly so energetic. So, since we're staring down a terribly long-ass hiatus, you'll have plenty of time to find out what happened previously, on The Vampire Diaries. The CW is even running a "marathon" of the first ten episodes during the week of December 14, 2009 (two episodes per night -- Monday through Friday). Be there, or be previously...less.Now: We pick up where we left off at the end off "History Repeating." It's nighttime and Logan "Scum" Fell is at the Gilbert Gables door, trying to wheedle an invite inside, from Jenna. She's still pissed that he rekindled their romance and then took off, with no notice except an email. He's surprised that there was an e-mail, but hides it well enough through his repeated requests for an invitation and his degrading summary of her character. "C'mon Jenna. It's me. I know you. You were always one step from a maybe -- a tiny nudge to yes." Aunt Jenna ain't having that, yo, and closes the door in his face. Hurrah! Out on the sidewalk, Scum eyes the older gentleman door who's taking his trash the curb. Drusilla says: "I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth." And Scum must have boned up on his Buffy (not like that, although given Buffy's...never mind) because in his crazy baby-vamp persona, Scum really takes on an air of Spike. After he greets the gentleman, he decides since he's got no floss handy, he'll let him continue back inside his safe-as-houses home, unmolested. There's more Spike-ishness as Logan inhales deeply, and his vamp sniffer picks up the scent of a succulent niblet who is jogging around the corner. Did you see James Marsters written all over Scum's physicality, in this scene? Niblet stops, because she's a big fan of Scum's newscast; she's missed him while he's been off the air. She introduces herself as Daphne; they shake hands and then Scum vamps out -- right there on the sidewalk. Right in front of Gilbert Gables. We fade to black just about the time Daphne is blacking out from blood loss, and...Title card.
Morning at Gilbert Gables: Jeremy narrates that he lives in fear. But don't worry, he hasn't caught the DIARY-Ahhhh, too. He's reading the journal of his ancestor, Jonathan Gilbert, who, back in the 1860s, was waxing terrified about his all-consuming fear of the night -- and the death it brings. Except for the wussy bits, the journal is very John Winchester-esque -- filled not only with text, but also drawings of things that go bump in the night, and pentagrams, etc. When he turns the page, Germ finds a loose sketch of a scary looking guy who may have something carved on his face, or might be in the process of turning into a werewolf, or maybe he's just fugly. It's hard to tell. The important thing, you see, is that it prompts Jeremy to make a Hey-wait-a-minute face and drag out his own sketch book. He smiles (!!!) as he leafs through the pages, grabs a piece of charcoal, and gets to work on a new sketch. His bedroom door is ajar, which gives Elena the opportunity to notice what he's doing. She smiles the smugly-pleased-smile any sister might smile AFTER LETTING HER BABY BROTHER GET MIND-WIPED BY A MONSTER, and then closes his door, which seems sort of not her place. If you open my door, and find I'm busy and then shut it -- we're good (although knocking would be nice). However, if I'm happily doodling away in my own room, and I left the door ajar, leave it fricking ajar, m'kay? I'm so glad I'm an only child, but that's neither here nor there.
Elena tells Jenna the big damn news that Jeremy is back to (the) drawing (board). They decide they'll pretend not to notice, so that he doesn't stop in a fit of pique. They also talk a little about Stefan, but Elena cuts the discussion short, saying she stopped asking questions because the answers were too scary. Jenna, the world's most crap guardian, doesn't pick up on that. At all. Instead the conversation turns to her surprise visit from Scum. Elena lays down the law. Jenna must stay so far away from Scum that she doesn't even watch the news. Jenna, who doesn't get enough storyline in my opinion, does get to toss out some foreshadowing, though: "No more Scum Fell." Join me as I chant: "So mote it be."
Mossy Manse: Stefan wants to know when Damon's getting out of Dodge and where he's going. Damon mentions London and catching up with old friends, so Stefan snarks that he has no friends. Damon's fine with that. He wants to travel with Stefan -- he even kids him about trying out for The Amazing Race, together. And you know what? As far as I'm concerned, you've got yourself a deal, Damon. If the Brothers Salvatore (or their portrayers) ever actually go on TAR, or Survivor, or, heaven forefend -- The Bachelor, I will tune in. 'Til then, my idiot box will automatically turn to scripted over unscripted, and fantasy over "reality" -- because that's the way I'm programmed (and so is my TiVo -- ooh, except for Say 'Yes' to the Dress, because that shit is AWEsome). But no, Stefan pisses all over Damon's big plans. He's thinking they should vacation separately and permanently. Damon's feelings are saved by the doorbell. It's Sheriff Forbes, who is there for some double super seekrit vampire hunting talk with Damon, since he's the only "person" she knows who has ever successfully taken down a vampire. He invites her in, but takes her out to the patio, explaining that he'd like to keep the town's horrible truth from Stefan. She's-the-Sheriff agrees. "The kids are too young to be brought into this." Oh, Sheriff, if you only knew how old that kid in the parlor is, and how far your own little Goldilocks has been dragged into it by his brother/your new BFF. And while I don't like to come down on a fellow mother, Sheriff -- you know the score and you have Vervain, and yet you're not sneaking it in Caroline's Diet Coke, dissolving some in your fabric softener and pinning it to her hems? Sheesh, She's-. Anyhow, she tells Damon about Daphne's doom and asks for his help. I love the irony that Stefan, who is using his super-vamp hearing to eavesdrop from the parlor, suspects his big brother has fallen off the wagon. Again. But this time, Damon's completely innocent and nearly as surprised by this turn of events as Sheriff Forbes.
MFHS; Hallway: Matt's talking to Caroline about what I take to be some dancing show. [So You Think You Can Dance. Don't ask. Let's just say maybe I know a TWoP mod who might have banned a few posters from that forum a couple of years ago -- including my
ke>herself (and I she totally deserved it). --Barnes] There's a bunch of cute back-n-forth stuff between them that demonstrates how close these two are growing, so I'll just quote my favorite exchange. Matt: "Did you see The Celine Dion Waltz About Cancer?" Caroline: "Those always make me cry." Hee. Tyler gets an eyeful of the budding couple. He doesn't vocalize his shock, but his face screams, BOGGLE?! Elena and Bonnie take it all in, too. E gets kind of prickly, like you do, when an ex- you really like (but don't love, but might sort of kind of want to keep in reserve when you're on the outs with your current squeeze) starts to move on from being incapacitated by his overwhelming love for you. Okay, you would never be like that, Gentle Reader, but some people may have been there in the past. I hear. Bonnie, the voice of sanity (who is only in this scene), points out that Caroline needs someone nice like Matt, rather than a homicidal vampire like Damon. Elena can't argue with that, so she asks Bonnie how she's doing coming to terms with the vampires-are-real crash course she got in "History Repeating." Bonnie's freaked that she came so close to death, thanks to Damon, but she's also grateful that Stefan saved her life. She then asks Elena how things are with Stefan. Elena explains that nothing has changed; he's leaving -- in what she believes is a misguided effort to protect her. When Bonnie says that maybe it's for the best, Elena feigns cluelessness, so Bonnie asks straight out: "What kind of future could you have had with him, even if he stayed?" Just then a big hallway-straddling banner wafts down in front of the girls. It reads: "The Promise of YOUR Future." Elena starts to accuse Bonnie of witching it down in front of them, but Bonnie swears she's innocent. No matter, Elena is already in the mood to stomp off, so she does.
Mossy Manse: As soon as Damon sees She's-the-Sheriff out, Stefan confronts him (violently). Damon warns him off and talks him down, reminding Stefan that he would never be so sloppy as to leave a corpse lying out on the streets. He says, "There's another vampire in town." Stefan says, "That's impossible," which -- why, exactly? Damon says, "Obviously not." He then takes a who cares attitude, until Stefan says that he can't leave town now that this has happened. He wonders how they'll find the vamp. Damon tells him to let the adults handle this stuff. Heh.
MFHS; Exterior: Elena exits school to find Stefan seated on a picnic table, just waiting for her. She swallows hard as she looks at him, but says not a word. Finally, he rises and says, "We need to...talk."
Over on the basketball court, Tyler is ragging on Matt (who's wearing that black tank top abomination-that-causes-desolation, again) about Caroline and "tapping that" and whether or not they're becoming 'we' people, which I totally took as wee people -- at least long enough to imagine them as leprechauns and WANT! Ahem. Matt tries to shrug off the teasing. "We hung out like...twice." Tyler smiles. "Like I said. 'We'."
Picnic table: Stefan catches Elena up on the new vampire in town and that although he can never be sure it's not Damon, he really doesn't think it is, since Damon's been trying to lie low. Stefan's telling her now, because he promised her the truth, and because he wants her to be careful. Elena admits that when she saw him, she thought he was there to say goodbye to her. Stefan takes a deep breath. "Not yet."
Gilbert Gables: Germ is sketching a scary looking guy with an angular face and pointy teeth. He shows it to Jenna who deems it creepy. He tells her about Jonathan Gilbert's freaky journal full of stories of demons and slaughter. Jenna (who isn't a Gilbert; she's a Summers Sommers) tells Germ his great-whatever was a writer -- short stories, horror, etc. Jeremy seems surprised Jonathan Gilbert wrote fiction. "I figured he was either a lunatic or a drunk." Jenna laughs as she grabs a book off the nearby shelf and hands it to Jeremy. "Well, he was a Gilbert. Probably a little bit of both." Jeremy smiles. Again. I could get used to this.
Warehouse Exterior; Day: Caroline holds the ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS while Damon instructs her, via cell phone, to wait there for him. He can't use the instrument himself on account of being an ACTUAL VAMPIRE. They bicker for a moment, and then Damon hypnotizes her -- instructing her to go home and forget all about what they've just done. She sounds like the Buffy-bot as she perks, "Okay, bye now." I think Damon rolls his eyes at her, but I've temporarily lost the ability to process this scene, because I'm so annoyed that not one person who knows better -- Stefan, Elena, Sheriff Forbes, or hell -- at this point, even Bonnie, has given this child some Vervain. And actually despite that, I'm also sort of torn, because I enjoy watching these two work together. I'm just tired of her being his buttmonkey. You know? Once Caroline is gone, Damon strong arms the (apparently) locked warehouse door. Once inside, he's immediately shot -- multiple times -- by Scum! Now, I sort of hate Scum and I sort of love Damon, but I laughed and cheered. Damon totally deserves whatever he gets for treating Caroline like his minion, and for killing Stefan's FBfBFF, Lexi. Shoot him again, Scum! Awww, not right now, dammit. Commercial.
Scum brags that he's got tons of wooden bullets, so Damon had better not try anything funky. When Damon groans, "You don't want to do this -- trust me," Scum shoots him again. Yippee! He also accuses Damon of making him "like this." Damon corrects: "I killed you. I didn't turn you." Scum could not care less. He knows what Stefan and Damon are, and he wants some information. But first, Damon wants to know who turned him. Scum loudly claims not to know. "I was about to stake your brother, and then you grabbed me. That's it, until I woke up in the ground, behind a used car dealership on Rte. 4. Somebody buried me." Damon's in great pain as he's digging the wooden bullets out of his own flesh, but that doesn't stop him from sniping, "It happens." When Scum persists in blaming Damon for siring him, Damon explains that he must have had vampire blood in his system when he died, and Damon didn't do that. I can't decide if Scum looks genuinely confused, or is just fronting, but he demands to know who else would have done this. That's what Damon wants to know. Scum says, "Dude, it wasn't like the welcome wagon was waiting with a bundt cake and a handbook. It's been a learn-as-you-go process." He is rocking the insane-in-the-basementSpike impression. He's bitter about losing his career to become immortal, but even worse -- he can't get into his own apartment. Mythology Moment: Damon explains he has to be invited in. Scum already knows that. "I live alone." Okay, we knew the invites were necessary already, but I'm calling it a Mythology Moment, because, well -- he can't even enter his own place when no other humans reside within? That's just sorta dumb (although the visual is priceless). Damon's still in agony, but even he can't suppress a laugh. "Oh, oh ho ho. That sucks." Scum bitches about killing, but liking it, but being conflicted (at which Damon says, "Welcome to the club"). Damon chides Scum for being careless with his corpses. Scum says he got tired (which makes no sense as vampires seem to get a boost when they feed; and the show has told us that human blood makes them stronger) and left one behind. He's got the rest of the corpses piled up, right in t
he back of the warehouse. Even Damon grimaces at this. And we cut to...
MFHS Interior; Night: The Promise of YOUR Future awaits; I'm sure of it, because I'm looking at the second banner to tell me so in under 15 minutes. That's right; it's career night at MFHS. She's-the-Sheriff and the Mayor stroll past the booths, while she tells him there's no new news on their new vampire. When he acts disgusted, she tells him to feel free to pick up a stake and have at it. They talk precautions and she says that there's nowhere safer than a crowded public place. "And for once, Mayor, we finally know where our kids are." Jeremy and Tyler meet up at what I guess is the art table. Featuring student art. At career night. Germ smirks and pokes Tyler (metaphorically) about being surprised to see him at the art table, since art implies culture, which is something Tyler lacks. Tyler tells him to go to hell. Germ just smiles as Tyler walks off. He then looks at the drawing in front of him. It features a creepy, muscular human figure, crouching as if he's going to attack. Jeremy checks the artist's signature at the bottom and whaddya know? It reads Tyler Lockwood. He looks off after Tyler, as if with new eyes. Poor Vicki. If she'd only played it cool for a little while longer, she could have had a hell of a good time. Sniff.
Meanwhile, Elena gets flirty with Matt, asking him if he still wants to be an astronaut when he grows up and teasing him about the tinfoil he wore on his head. (Really people, I don't usually pimp my links, but click that one.) Matt protests that he was only 8 years old. They share a laugh, and then grow more serious. She asks how he's doing. Matt sighs that he's had it easier. He asks the same of Elena. "I mean...I heard some things." Just then, poor little Vervain-less Caroline enters behind them and watches their cozy-looking discussion. Matt stammers, "So it's true that you and Stefan..." When Elena says, "Yeah, it is," Caroline slips out of the gym, unnoticed. Poor lamb. Elena soon adopts a more upbeat tone, moves a little further away from Matt, and asks him what's up with him and Caroline. She gives him a look when he claims they're friends and that it's no big deal. Matt holds her gaze as he shakes his head. "No." Oh man, his perfect Pudding Pop face is so full of hope, I can't bear to look at it, but I can't turn away. Just as Elena seems like she might be contemplating something more with him, Stefan enters through the doorway behind them. Elena straightens up as she catches sight of him, and her feelings are written all over her face, like a preemptory Dear John letter to Matt. I go looking for that blanket and hoping that I've got some pudding mix in the house, because I can't take this any more. That poor, poor baby. I have to save him, take him home, and feed him pudding. Preferably warm. And chocolate. I really like Elena. Like...a lot. And I like her with Stefan too, but whenever she breaks Pudding Pop's heart anew, I want someone to drain her of all her blood and do a no-suffering mind-compulsion thing on Matt, because just look at him. Oof.
Warehouse: Scum says, "Why am I so overly emotional? All I can think about is my ex-girlfriend. I want to be with her, and bite her, and stuff." Damon tells him he probably loves her and gives us this Mythology Moment: "Anything you felt before will be magnified, now." He glares at Scum and adds, "You're going to have to learn how to control that." Hello, Pot? Kettle's on line one. What Scum really wants to know is how Damon and Stefan manage to walk in daylight. Damon fiddles with his ring, which is a tell I would think he'd avoid at all costs. At any rate, he evades answering the question. Scum notes that the day-walking power is not in any of the journals, and explains that the founding families passed their journals down to their offspring. He then gets right back to demanding an answer. Damon ignores him. "Who turned you?" Logan ignores him. "How do you walk in the sun?" Damon juts his chin forward. "Who turned you?" Logan says although he's been nice so far, he will kill Damon. Damon calls his bluff, saying if he does that, he'll never know. Once they agree they're at an impasse, Scum says he has things to do and people to kill, so he'll need a head start. He shoots Damon a few more times, and leaves him writhing in pain on the warehouse floor. That was for you, Lexi.
Career Night: Elena knows Stefan's just there to look out for her. Things are tense between them, so Stefan tries to make small talk about his past. He wanted to be a doctor, but once he was turned, he couldn't handle working around blood. He tried lots of other things over the years and loved them all, but he moved on before anyone noticed he never aged.
Sidebar: Here's a word of advice to the writers -- don't hit that ageless point too many times. Paul Wesley is a beautiful, youthful, 27 year old specimen, but with any luck, this show will go five years or more. If/since it's really pushing it to sell a beautiful, youthful 27 year old as a 17 year old, imagine the challenge once he's 32 years old. I mean, in five years, Wesley's looks are going to change, noticeably, and probably more so than anyone else in the cast. Now, they won't change for the worse. He'll grow even manlier and more appealing. But still? No matter what anyone does, he will not look more childlike. Check out David Boreanaz in season 1 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and then take a gander at him in season 3, and then throughout the life of his spin-off series, Angel and you'll see what I mean. If you ever retcon Stefan's age-at-siring with an "he lied about it so Elena wouldn't freak," or "Daywalkers don't age, but they appear to, if ever so slowly, because of their exposure to the sun," I've got your backs. Okay, back to the show.
Elena wonders how long it took each time before Stefan had to pick up stakes (oh, sorry). He always had to leave after a few years at most. He didn't have a choice. He tries to change the subject and asks Elena about her plans for the future but she resists. "I don't want to talk about my future, Stefan, because everything you're saying is making it perfectly clear you're not going to be in it." He stammers that it's not that he doesn't want to be in her life. She cuts him off. "You can't. I get it. I heard you the first time and the second time. I appreciate you looking out for me, but please, if you're going to leave -- then just go." Anya whines, "I'm tired and I don't really feel like taking a tour of beautiful things I can't have." Amen.
Jenna hustles over and interrupts the awkward conversation, asking Elena to hide her. "The Scum Fell has landed." When Stefan realizes they're talking about Logan Fell, he takes off into the hallway because, of course, he knows Logan should be dead. Stefan gives him the evil eye. Logan returns a cheeky wave. Their glares carry us into... Commercial.
After the break, Elena catches up with Stefan and asks him what's going on. Jenna follows her, prompting Scum to say, "JENNA!" Stefan grabs Elena's hand, turns to her and suggests she and Jenna go someplace else. He telegraphs with his eyes that she needs to take him seriously, so she does. Jenna follows her, just glad to be getting away from the Scum. When Stefan asks Scum what he's doing there, Scum suggests they cut through all the "who turned [him]" b.s. he just went through with Damon. He wants to know how to become a daywalker. Stefan obfuscates. "Damon and I are the only ones I know of." Logan wants to get to the how of it. He threatens to use his local-celebrity status to expose the Brothers Salvatore. Stefan keeps his voice low and even. "You want to know how you can walk around in the sun?" He waits a b
eat. "You CAN'T." I had been hoping he'd tell Scum to just believe really hard that he could do it, and then he'd be able, but this worked better, because damn. That was sexy. And Stefan's not done. "Don't ever threaten me. Again." And again? I say damn. He brushes past Scum, leaving him there to stew.
Meanwhile, Elena is trying to get Jenna to tell her -- specifically -- what Logan said during his visit to Gilbert Gables. Jenna blathers a few meaningless details then adds, "He kept trying to convince me to let him in." Ding ding ding. Elena's eyes flash as her mouth falls open. When Jenna says, "What?" Elena tells her that she is not to talk to Logan ever again. Don't you think she should have added "And whatever you do, do NOT invite him into the house." My word. The stupid, it burns. Fortunately, it's soon cooled by the lanky swagger of Alaric Saltzman, who comes over to greet the ladies. Jenna's delighted to see him, and we cut to...
MFHS Exterior; Night: Stefan's on his cell listening to Damon tell him that Logan Fell is a vampire and Damon's so going to kill him once he finds him. "I was ambushed. I was shot...." We cut to Mossy Manse, where Damon's stripping in front of the mirror. So we get to see his back and his front. Sigh. If not for the Vervain around my neck, I'd be forgiving them Matt's black tank top abomination-that-causes-desolation, right about now. Damon throws his shirt to the ground. "Now I'm vengeful." Good for you, Damon. Scum needs to die. Not a problem. Stefan informs him that Scum's at the school, right now. Damon will be right there. They end their call and Elena walks up to Stefan and asks him if there's anything he'd like to tell her.
MFHS Interior: Caroline drags her Mom, Sheriff Forbes, over to see the broadcast journalism booth and explains her interest. Mom, who is constantly trying to connect with Caroline, only to be rebuffed, completely bungles the exchange, by pointing out (probably truthfully) that Caroline never even picks up a newspaper. Caroline gives her a withering look and turns her back on her mother. Before She's-the-Sheriff can commit to following her daughter, Scum calls to her from behind. "Liz?" Who knew she had a real name? When she realizes who she's staring at, her eyes grow as wide as saucers. She reaches as if for a weapon and then pauses to look around the crowded room. Fell smarms, "What are you going to do, stake me?" He's pissed that she swept him under the carpet like so much dirt. She points out he was dead and she actually buried him. Reminding him that he was onboard for the Council's vampire hunt does no good. He snarls, "I was one of you." Liz says, "And now you're one of them." He starts to leave and then leans over her shoulder from behind and whispers in her ear that she should watch her back. Liz calls into the station. "Get a backup team to the school, immediately. Keep it within the circle. It's a V5." Oh, I want to know all their vamp codes, now.
Tyler is walking beneath a The Promise of YOUR Future banner when Jeremy catches up with him, all chatty and pleasant, saying, "I didn't know you drew." Tyler snarls, "It's an elective." Jeremy compliments him on his work and tries to establish a connection, noting that graphics are his thing. Tyler stops him -- wanting to know what all this friendliness is about. Germ stumbles that it's just something else they have in common. Tyler says, "What's the other thing, Vicki? Let's hang out because we did the same chick? Go be friends with one of the many other guys that she screwed. There's no shortage of them." Even after adjusting for the net loss of the Bananas Foster Gang, at the Sizzler? At that, Jeremy loses his cool and shoves Tyler up against the lockers. As they start to go at it, I wonder if the hypnosis isn't wearing off just a little bit, but before long, the fight is broken up when Alaric grabs Jeremy and the Mayor grabs Tyler (his son). Alaric's taking the normal adult approach of trying to cool everyone down, but the Mayor orders the two boys to come with him. When Alaric asks where he's taking the kids the Mayor says, "I'm going to talk with them. All fights should end in handshakes, don't you think?" Alaric doesn't look like he's buying it as we cut to...
MFHS Parking Lot: Caroline can't find Bonnie so she leaves her a message that she wants to go home. Just then, Scum drives up and asks if she needs a ride. She fakes a gasp. "Oh my God, Logan Fell, Channel 9! Is that you?" He reminds her that he used to baby-sit her, so she shouldn't mock him. Matt watches unhappily, from a distance as Caroline gets in Scum's car. She notes that this is fate, because she's interested in broadcast journalism, and wants to ask him some questions. He tells her she can ask anything she wants, but she should buckle up, first. As soon as she does, that son of a bitch smashes her poor head up against the side window, knocking her out. You can kill him anytime now, Damon. Okay? And someone get me some Vervain, stat. I'm going to mail it to Julie Plec during the...Commercial.
Elena and Stefan are greeted with a "Hey," from Matt as they stride down the hallway. Elena asks Matt if he's seen "Logan Fell, the news guy." Matt nods. "Yeah. He just gave Caroline a ride home." Oh Matt honey, I'd feel badly for you right now, but I'm more worried about Caroline, who is only with Scum because you were flirting with Elena and because her mother -- who knows about Vervain but hasn't given her any -- would screw up a free lunch. Stefan tells Elena to stay there, and takes off.
p>Outside, the Mayor tries to make Jeremy and Tyler fight. When the boys refuse, the Mayor gets nasty, particularly with his own kid. He makes with a lot of tough guy talk about what "pansies" do, and how his dad taught him: "Fight your battles like men, and move on." Even when you've already moved on, apparently. He follows up by barking some more about how they should fight. Alaric walks out in the middle of this, but hangs back, until the Mayor shoves Tyler really hard, growling: "I said fight." The Mayor attempts to run Alaric off, but he won't budge. He wants to know what's going on. The Mayor's all, "Who do you think you're talking to? Do I look like a student?" Alaric says, "No, you look like a full grown alpha male douche bag." I'm so tired of the word douche on TV, that I've spent countless How I Met Your Mother weecaps referring to the show-called/so-called douche-side of Ted Mosby as "Duke Ted," but right now, after that line from Alaric, douche sounds as fresh as a summer's eve. Cough. Tyler makes an Oh-No-He-Didn't-Face off Alaric's comment, but in a good way. Jeremy's just in awe and possibly in love, but who could blame him? The Mayor howls vague threats about having Alaric's job. Alaric's all like, Cool, then I can kick your ass out here, free from worry. He squints for good measure. "You cool with that?" LOVE HIM! The Mayor snarls that Alaric has just marked himself. When Alaric purrs, "Good," the Mayor scampers off. Tyler follows along, with his tail between his legs. Once they're alone, Jeremy does his level best not to fall at Alaric's feet. I'm impressed.Meanwhile, as he speeds down the road, Scum calls She's-the-Sheriff and taunts her that he has her daughter and is hell-bent on turning her into a vampire. When he stops at an intersection, Damon and Stefan pull him out of his SUV. Damon shoots him several times (with wooden bullets?) and when Scum takes his turn at writhing in pain, Damon watches, delighted. "Payback's a bitch, isn't it?" Er...that's it? That's his quip? Whatever, right. Damon orders Stefan to get Caroline home, and then hears She's-the-Sheriff yelling, "Logan!" over Scum's cell phone. Damon picks it up, explains that Caroline's okay and he's in the process of stopping Scum. He tells her they're on Elm Street. Nightmare! And terminates the call. Damon then offers Scum one more chance to confess who turned him, as he grabs a tire iron out of the hatch (oh, unintentional Lost reference). Scum insists he doesn't know, so Damon points out that he can use said tire iron to decapitate scum in one at-bat. Desperate, Scum dangles some bait before our wants-to-be-woobified boy. "You think you're the only one that wants to get in that tomb? Underneath the old church?" Damon cautions that if Scum's lying, he will end him. Scum swears he's not lying. "There's another way to break the spell. We can help you." The sound of sirens approaches. Scum adds, "Meet me at the old church." Damon looks off at the cruiser in the distance and tells Scum, "Take me down. Make it look real." Scum obliges, throwing Damon against the back of the SUV and then takes off.
When Sheriff Liz Forbes arrives, her first question is about her daughter (the one she doesn't think enough of to feign interest in her hypothetical future career, never mind protect with a nice Vervain amulet). "Where is she?" Winded, Damon explains that his brother is taking Caroline home -- to safety. As he rises to his feet, he apologizes for his "failure" to stake Scum. "I'm sorry, Sheriff." His blue eyes nearly fill with tears. "I just wasn't strong enough." Bravo, Damon. Bravo. Commercial.
MFHS, Career Night: Stefan meets up with Elena, tells her that he got Caroline home safely and that Damon is "dealing with" Scum. He then uses the evening's events to drive home the point that it's not a good idea for them to be together. Elena accepts this on the surface, and convinces him to let her drive him home. And we cut to...
MFHS Exterior: Jeremy finds Ty sitting alone and extends an olive branching asking if his dad is like that all the time. If so, Germ claims he "gets" it. At that, Tyler punches him in the face. Bleeding from the nose, Germ says, "What's your problem?" Tyler doesn't need his pity. Germ says that they don't have to be like this. Tyler orders him to "just go." Again, Jeremy asks what his problem is. As if drugged, Tyler staggers under the light of THE FULL MOON and says, "I don't know." As he tries to catch his breath, he repeats, "I don't know." He allows the moonlight to stream down upon his troubled head before he stumbles off. Say, did anyone else think it was hinky that MFHS' teams are the Timberwolves? Yeah, me neither. Arrooooooo!
Mossy Manse Exterior: Elena drops Stefan off and apologizes for being harsh earlier. Stefan tells her she has every right. Elena changes topics and answers his earlier question about her hopes for the future. She always wanted to be a writer and that's a dream her mother always supported, but once she died, Elena was unable to envision it. She points out that although Stefan is trying to protect her, she's already drowning in a world of pain and death. He treats her as if she's intellectually challenged, stating that although it's hard for her to understand, he's doing this for her -- and then exits the car. Elena gets right out after him and tells him, "No." He doesn't get to make that decision for her. Hooray! "If you walk away, then it's because that's what you want." A beat. "Stefan, I love you." Stefan, whose back has been to her, turns on his heels, looks at her, and moves in for a breath-stealing kiss. When they finally break, we cut to...
Mossy Manse Interior: Elena and Stefan kiss. And kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss. And then they really kiss and he vamps out -- but the effect is quite subtle, because they're bathed in an amber light (akin to candlelight). He pulls away from her and hides his "true" face. From behind, Elena clasps his shoulders. "Don't." Stefan whispers, "Elena, I can't." Elena tries to turn him toward her as she says, "Yes, you can. Don't hide from me." And all I can think of is when Buffy kissed Angel's "true" face when they were ice skating and got attacked by vamps. Stefan's face is much less offensive. He looks like a burnout with moderate Rosacea. Elena smiles at him as she caresses his face, paying special attention to his moderate (if chronic) skin condition. Stefan watches, seemingly in agony, for her reaction. Elena's eyes narrow and she moves in for more kissing. Atta girl! As he kisses her back, his vamp face vanishes, BECAUSE THIS IS TWU LUV! They stop and stare into each other's eyes. We then cut to Elena, who is leading Stefan by the hand. Upstairs. To his BEDROOM! They stop on the landing to kiss, but then we cut to the bedroom, and their clothes magically start falling off. Did Bonnie do that? His over-shirt. Her shirt. His undershirt. He lays her down on the bed, and since I'm running out of purple prose, I think you'll know what I'm saying when I add -- and then lays her, down on the bed. Their sex scene is beautifully shot. It's all clasped hands, and gaudy bling, young skin and interesting angles. The music fades out as the camera cuts to the exterior of Mossy Manse, and then to commercial.
Warehouse Exterior; Ni
ght: Scum exits the warehouse, approaches his SUV and hears a clattering noise that stops him in his tracks. He looks around, but seeing nothing, he turns back toward his ride and is Stealth Salvatored. BY ALARIC! Scum backs up a few paces and asks, "Who are you?" Alaric says he's "a friend of Jenna's." When Scum takes that to mean Jenna sent him, Alaric clarifies that he came on his own. Logan smiles. "Oh, I get it. Well, buddy, I know you think this makes you brave, but actually it makes you pretty stupid." Alaric's not deterred. "Either way, here I am." When Scum asks Alaric what he wants, he replies, "Well, Jenna's a good person. She deserves the best. I'm here to make sure she gets it." Mmmmm. Alaric. Logan circles him. "Is that supposed to be a threat? Couldn't you throw a punch -- maybe provoke me a little?" Alaric stays on his toes. "I'm not a violent guy -- by design." Logan says he's not a very smart one, either and then turns his back on the man he mistakes for no threat as he adds: "Because you have no idea who you're talking to." As Scum speaks, Alaric lets a stake slip from his sleeve into his palm. When Scum turns on him -- in full vamp face -- Alaric is ready, and stakes him through his cheating heart. Scum falls to the ground with a gasp and starts to decompose like Vicki and Lexi before him, but this time, I'm cheering! Oh, my. What is it about me and slayers? Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Slayers. Alaric, for his part, looks like he's struggling to hold onto his lunch as he steps over Scum's rotting corpse and makes his way into the night. I do wish dead vamps poofed into ashes, don't you?
MFHS Exterior: Tyler waits at Matt's car and tells him he's giving him a ride home. Pudding Pop says sure, but then stops to face his friend. "Look, I like Caroline. She's got this thing -- this -- this way about her, and I like her, okay? And I'm not going to defend it or apologize for it," because that's the Pure Pudding Pop way, darn it. When Tyler says, "Okay," Matt adds "So stop your little bromance bitch act." Whee! Tyler seems to be swallowing his own smile as he again says, "Okay." Matt heads towards the driver seat of his truck, while Tyler grabs shotgun.
Caroline's room: Caroline sleeps as her useless (if well-meaning) mother caresses her face. Her maternal moment is interrupted by her phone (which never wakes Caroline). Liz picks it up, and tells whoever on the other end of the line that she'll be right there.
Mossy Manse: After the loving, Elena notes that she's never before been in Stefan's room. She wants to know if he leaves it as is -- while he comes and goes. Stefan says all his important memories are there; it's the only place he has that has remained constant. Elena smiles as she snuggles down into his bare chest. Have mercy. When he asks her if she's thirsty, she replies, "A little. You?" and then realizes her faux pas. But there in the afterglow, that's a funny, awkward moment -- one which in no way reflects the serious nature of Stefan Salvatore's true nature. When he leaves to get her a drink, Elena gets up (wearing only Stefan's shirt) and inspects his room. She looks at his shelves full of books and smiles. She then moves on to sniff the scent of one of the hundreds of candles he has lit, and inspects the contents of his occasional table. Spotting a picture, she picks it up for closer inspection. IT'S KATHERINE'S PORTRAIT! Looking as if she's about to take sick (and well she should), Elena drops it on the table and we cut to...
The Woods: As Damon approaches the old Falls' Church ruins, his cell phone rings. It's Liz "She's-the-Sheriff" Forbes thanking him ever so for staking Logan "Scum" Fell, outside the old Fell warehouse where Scum was hoarding the corpses of his innocent victims. "This town owes you so much. So do I." When she terminates the call, we flash back to Damon. It takes a moment for it all to sink into his skull. When it does, he lets the hand holding his phone drop to his side, and he looks around for his magical toadstool, 'cause pretty boy has some crying to do.
Mossy Manse: Shirtless Stefan (saints preserve us) returns to his room with Elena's drink, but she's not there. He calls out her name, and my word, did someone take a Sharpie and draw on those abs? And pecs? And biceps? And all those other muscles I don't know any decent names for? Whatevs. Just believe me when I say they're on the verge of being obscene. He stops when he gets to the table and notices -- not only Katherine's portrait, but Elena's Vervain necklace laying right on top of it. He picks up the picture and looks off as if he'll find her, but he won't, because we cut to...
A Dark Road: Elena fights back the tears as she drives through the night. Suddenly -- some vamp or other boogedy boogedy jumps in front of her car. Elena doesn't have time to swerve; she hits him. He lands on her windshield, breaking it. Elena's car goes careening and flips over and over, landing upside down. Still trapped in the car, Elena coughs out broken glass as she tries not to freak. She looks out the window at her "victim." He resets all his broken bones, rises to his full height, and strides towards her wrecked car. Elena screams because these BASTARDS ARE LEAVING US HANGING LIKE THIS FOR THE HOLIDAY HIATUS. Grr. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. There were a couple of things in this episode that bothered me (see the preceding gazillion pages), but getting to the "I love you," the sex scene and the Elena = Katherine's doppelganger reveal? Well, that mooted all my nitpicks, and then some. Alaric's a slayer? Tyler (and/or his dad) might be a werewolf? Matt likes Caroline (at least when Elena's not in the room)? Jeremy smiles? Are you kidding me? And now, what about poor Elena? Who and what is that, walking toward her on that dark country road? Who'll save her -- Damon, Stefan, Alaric, Bonnie, or will Elena save herself? And why in the name of all that's holy did she leave her Vervain necklace at Mossy Manse? Okay, she's pissed at Stefan. Maybe even over him (momentarily). But she now knows at least one of the kinds of things that goes bump in the night, and she knows how important that necklace is to her safety and to her self-determination. My heart breaks for her, but at the same time, I hope she gets damned good and scared and actually rues leaving her magical necklace behind. And what about Stefan, huh? Are you sitting there cursing him for hiding the biggest secret of all, or are you cutting him some slack, because he was planning to move on from Elena and leave her be. Do you think he would have told her about her resemblance to Katherine if they hadn't jumped ahead so quickly? Whew. You know, I'm still processing this one. There's so much to digest, I don't know if I have room for pie. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year. Keep your fingers crossed that the couple of months fly by. Thanks for watching, e-mailing, following me on Twitter, and especially for reading. You're a fun group of fans who totally gets it.
I'll catch you in -- my word -- JANUARY?! In the long, long meantime, come on over to the forums. It will keep you from inviting your ex in. Seriously? Do not invite him in. Do. Not. Bring your uninitiated friends over during the December marathon (12/14 -- 12/18) so they can be assimilated. In the meantime, let's raise a cup to kindness yet 'til our cravings subside.
During the hiatus, help keep Cindy off the streets. E-mail her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com., or follow her on Twitter.
After discussing this episode in our VD forums, then see how the show compares to Twilight and True Blood.