Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Veni, Vidi, Vicki
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.29.2009
Gilbert Gables: Gary Go's "Open Arms" plays as Elena wakes. She makes her way to the bathroom to find Jeremy, who is DRINKING FROM THE FAUCET! He's up early to go down the police station, and not because he's in trouble. They're organizing a search party for Vicki. Elena tries to talk him into going to school, but Germ's having none of it. "Open Arms" continues as we swing by the exterior of the high school, where people seem to be setting up for Halloween festivities, carving pumpkins, stacking hay (hey, I am not making this up), and whatnot. These high schoolers get to have more fun on Halloween than my youngest does at our local elementary school, but that's a rant for a different day. (Suffice it to say that third and fourth graders are considered "too old" to wear costumes -- they just have to watch the K -- 2 kids parade around. Oh, and we can't give them candy. I'm shutting up. Really.) Inside, Matt "Pudding Pop" Donovan is near the lockers when his phone rings. It's his sister Vicki. She won't tell him where she is (Mossy Manse), only that she needs some time to figure things out. After she assures him that she's okay and he shouldn't worry about her, she hangs up. Right in Pudding Pop's face! How rude.
Mossy Manse: Vicki bitches about having to stay cooped up with the Salvatores. While Stefan explains that she needs a babysitter while she transitions, Damon, who is reading the paper, remains deliciously self-absorbed -- complaining that there's no coverage of his murder of Logan "Scum" Fell. "Someone's covering it up." Vicki asks what he's fiddling with. It's the ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS, and Damon wonders what Fell was doing with it. Since Damon seems "so worried" that someone is onto him, Stefan suggests he leaves town. Damon counters that they should all be worried and even Vicki is bored with their bickering, so she mentions she's starving to undeath. Stefan gives her a mug of some animal blood or other. Damon snickers and pimps "people blood." Vicki's all over that suggestion, but Stefan says it's wrong to kill innocent humans to feed. Damon explains that she doesn't have to kill them. She can find herself a Riley Finn, and hypnotize him after. "It's soooo easy." Stefan counters that Vicki doesn't yet have the control to feed on a human (never mind enthralling one to forget the feeding). Damon thinks a baby vamp can't start life on animal blood. "Don't listen to him. He walks on a moral plane way above our eyeline. I say, 'Snatch. Eat. Erase'." Stefan blathers on about choosing the values that will define them. Bored, Damon pronounces his brother, "Count Deepak," and takes his leave. As he walks out, Vicki asks him for more blood. As Damon arrives downstairs, the doorbell rings. It's Elena. She and Damon exchange tense-ities before he directs her upstairs. Stefan hears her calling him and tells her Vicki is upstairs. Elena wants to know what happens now. Stefan explains that he's working with Vicki, but it's going to take time. "She's a very volatile and impulsive personality. She's a drug user. I mean, all that's going to play a part in how she responds to this." Elena says, "So, she's a vampire with issues?" Like Reader's Digest, girl. As they bicker about how long Vicki's going to be sequestered, Vicki appears above, asking the same question. When Elena asks her how she is, Vicki replies, "You're kidding, right?"
Second-Sight Shack: Bonnie learns that her ancestors weren't burned in the Salem Witch trials. They fled Salem in 1692 and lived in secrecy for over 100 years and that secrecy is still important. Now, Jasmine "Grams" Guy may be an occult teacher at the local university, but since nobody believes in what she does, it's just like hiding. In plain sight. Bonnie wants to skip over the rest of the history and get to the "fun part." Grams sucks the fun out of the room, tells her how real and serious it is, and then to add insult to injury, reminds her that she's late for school.
The Mystic Grill: Mayor and Mama "Mulva" Lockwood discuss the missing ACTUAL VAMPIRE COMPASS and that, based on the wounds on Fell's neck, the coroner thinks they're dealing with one vamp. Forensic fail! Both Damon and Vicki had a taste, and I don't think their bites are identical. They fret about how much danger they may be in, and whether or not the vampire has any historical knowledge of the town. They then resolve to keep it quiet, and find "it" before "it" finds them. Seated at the bar, it hears every word. Heya, Damon.
Mystic Falls High School: While Pudding Pop is stowing his books in his locker, Tyler approaches and offers to help with the Vicki-search party or in any other way. Matt says he just heard from her and she's okay. Things are still touchy between these two. When will they kiss and make up? Meanwhile, Caroline gives Bonnie her Halloween costume for the school shindig. A witch costume. Bonnie's miffed, but Caroline whines about wanting some Damon-free fun. She's included his amber crystal bling as an accessory. Does she dress everyone for everything? That's a sincere question. Neither stay-at-home moms nor writers are generally known for their duds (at least not in a good way). I could use the help, but if she tries to put me in a bikini -- well, I guess she'll get what she deserves.
Mossy Manse: With Elena seated next to him, Stefan gives Vicki (and us) a Mythology Moment: "Coffee is our friend. It's the caffeine. It circulates through our veins and it warms our body (sic) so we're not so cold to the touch. I might be a vampire. When Vicki asks about wanting to drink human blood, Stefan tells her she has to learn to live with the urge, one day at a time. She sneers and tells him not to start on the "12 Steps thing." A school counselor tried and it doesn't work for her. Stefan tells her it's her choice. Vicki says, "So you've never tasted human blood." This gives Stefan pause, but eventually he admits he has, but that it's been "years and years." He's not proud of his past. While Elena takes this all in, Vicki asks if the "sketchy" feeling of transitioning ever goes away. She feels hung-over and the daylight is killing her, and she wants more blood. "Where's your bathroom? I have to pee. Why do I have to pee? I thought I was dead." Stefan points toward the bathroom and Vicki stomps off, while I mark the show down a third of a grade, because Vicki obviously knows where at least one bathroom is. She showered at Mossy Manse, just last week. With her gone, Stefan and Elena get a moment alone, but they're awkward and full of sighs, so Stefan excuses himself to get Vicki some more blood. Elena is wandering around the parlor when Vicki returns announcing that her urge was a false alarm. This whole scene so far has felt extra-contrived -- like the actors are chess pieces who have to be moved -- so we'll build the story around their movements, rather than their movements around the story. Feh. Now that pawn Stefan has moved, Queen Vicki irks Queen Elena by calling Jeremy. Elena puts the kibosh on it. Even though Vicki says she'd never hurt the Germ, Elena says she can't take the risk and that Vicki's going to have to give him up. Vicki slams down her phone. "Oh really. And how long have you been preparing the 'You're Not Good Enough' speech? I'm a