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We open on a young couple camping in the thick of the woods, so they can watch a comet. Through the heavy trees. Heavy trees which completely encircle their campsite. Yeah. I guess the trees don't matter though, because their biggest obstruction to viewing is the fact that they're about to become vamp vittles of the week. Elsewhere, Stefan and Elena are having dueling DIARY-Ahhh about how good they feel knowing they're going to see each other again. Later, in history class, their nasty teacher busts them for making googly eyes at each other. Bonnie tells Caroline about her witchy lineage she's learning courtesy of her liquor-loopy Gram, while Caroline is still all dreamy about serving as a pedophile's (Damon; Ian Somerhalder) eye candy in the first episode. Jeremy tries to get the 411 on Vicki from Tyler, but these two would rather fight than talk and almost come to blows. Meanwhile, Matt fills Elena in on Vicki's condition and the fact that his mom is still away in Virginia Beach -- with her boyfriend. Stefan is waiting on a picnic table, some distance away, and tunes in with his super-vamp hearing while Matt tells Elena that Vicki thinks she was attacked by vampires. Matt chalks this up to Vicki being drunk and asks Elena what's up with her and the new guy. When Elena prefaces her answer with: "The last thing I want to do is hurt you..." Matt readily decodes her "It's not you; it's me," super secret double dumpage preamble, and cuts her off by announcing that he's going to the hospital to be there when his sister Vicki wakes up. Once he's gone, Elena turns towards Stefan, but he has vanished.
Meanwhile, Aunt Jenna has a conference with the mean teacher, who tells her Jeremy is doping up to cope with his loss. Mean teacher undermines Jenna's confidence in her ability to care for her niece and nephew. Over at the hospital, Stefan lurks as Matt approaches Vicki's room. Her bed is empty, and she surprises Matt from behind, then freaks out. While Matt runs off to get a nurse, Stefan comes in and enthralls Vicki, so that she'll think an animal attacked her, instead of Damon. When Matt and the nurse return to Vicki's room, Stefan is gone and Vicki is sleeping, but Matt catches sight of Stefan's retreating form. Stefan seeks refuge in a room that turns out to be the blood transfusion clinic. What are the odds? Eyes bloodshot and face all veiny, Stefan disappears and Matt loses his trail. Back at the Gilbert house, Jenna tries to connect with Jeremy by offering him tacos and telling him about her own pothead days, but she might as well have started out talking to the sliding door, because that's the only thing listening by the time she's done. At the hospital, Vicki wakes to find a dozing Matt by her bedside. When she wakes him, Matt asks what attacked her, and like a good little enthrallee, she confirms it was an animal. Then Jeremy shows up to check on her, and while Vicki is nervous that people will know this younger man was her summer boy toy, Jeremy is steadfast.
Meanwhile, Elena approaches Mossy Manse. No one answers the bell and when she knocks, the door flies open, so she enters. She calls out to Stefan, but there's no reply. Suddenly, a crow flies at the door and Damon is right behind Elena. Stefan appears before Damon can tell Elena too many twisted tales about Stefan and his "ex," but Damon has already sown the seeds of doubt. Meanwhile, Stefan acts like he hardly knows Elena is in the room.
The climax comes on the night of the comet. Vicki, released from the hospital, is welcoming of Jeremy and his proffered painkillers and not so into Tyler. But then, while she's in the ladies room at the Mystic Grill, Damon gets her and takes her to a rooftop. Stefan tracks them there, only to watch Damon undo Stefan's thrall (which was weak, because Stefan won't feed on humans). Damon convinces Vicki that Stefan bit her, not him and not an(other) animal. At the last second, Damon re-enthralls Vicki so that she doesn't know the truth or the near truth-y lie.
After Elena gives Aunt Jenna a pep talk about her guardian expertise, she goes off to see Stefan, and takes him outside to watch the comet. Meanwhile, Caroline runs into Damon, again, and Jeremy has to endure the sight of Vicki hooking back up with Tyler. Back at Mossy Manse, Elena and Stefan blah blah to each other about what they would write in their diaries, which amounts to no more than swelling music before they kiss. And kiss. And kiss. We then cut to a shot of Damon working his way up the lovely young body of a nearly unclad Sweet Caroline (hot pink bra is still in place). His eyes go blood shot. His face is traced in veins. Caroline screams and DUN!
I'll catch you on the flipside with the whole, big cheese. Bring your own wine.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Resident vampire/diarist Stefan Salvatore leaps out of his century of secrecy and into Teen Town U.S.A. He says he has no choice. "I have to know her." "Her" = Elena, and yeah, I'm thinking he means that in the biblical sense, too. Elena and Stefan finally meet. She tells him about the car accident that took her parents. He tells her he lives with his uncle, and when she asks if he has siblings, he says, "None that I talk to." Cut to a nummy Damon Salvatore: "Hello, brother." Damon calls Stefan out on the fact that Elena looks just like Stefan's long lost love Katherine (circa 1864). Elena and her brother Jeremy walk through the woods and stumble upon Jeremy's crush, Vicki. She's sporting a hella neck wound and is unconscious after a brief moment of screaming. Later, at the hospital, Vicki tells her brother Matt (Elena's long-pining ex) that the something that bit her was a vampire! Meanwhile Damon taunts Stefan about his desire to live at peace with humans, rather than accepting them as the happy-meals-with-legs they so clearly are. They slap and tickle their way into a full-blown fight which climaxes in simultaneous defenestration. When Stefan warns Damon to stay away from Elena, Damon says, "I take that as an invitation," which, when given to a vamp, never ends well.
NOW. Exterior, night: the camera and a heavy ground fog close in on a tent pitched in the thick of the woods. Inside, a young couple kisses until the woman (natch) hears something. Fog doesn't make noise, so she thinks it's thunder. The woman notes that if it rains, they're not going to be able to see the comet. Hate to break it to you sweets, because it appears your breasts are real and I appreciate that in a female TV character, but you're not going to be able to see any comet from inside a tent pitched under all those trees, anyhow. Does no one in uh...the biz go out in the real world and see how things work? It's like those Christmas specials where the family buys the perfect Christmas tree on Christmas Eve and decorates it without any tension; or the characters who don't know the difference between a wake, a funeral, and a memorial service; or between a half-brother and a step-brother. Anyhow, the man has to get something back in the car. Probably not his half-brother, and probably not a Christmas tree, but who knows, since you'd think he would have had the foresight to slide his box of condoms into his sleeping bag or backpack. After he's gone, the woman hears what sounds like rain drops. She can only hear them because she doesn't have to listen to the background music, which is nearly drowning out her voice. She and her I-told-you-so step outside the tent, but Mr. Lover Boy is not in sight and neither is a single drop of water. Still, she hears something and turns to find blood dripping atop their tent. Training her flashlight on the tree above, she sees the mauled body of her lover. She runs screaming to the car, but it's locked. She tries to force it open, but stops dead when she hears the little chirp of the security system. Turning her back to the car, the woman looks towards the woods to figure out who has the keys. A vampire drops down on her and brings her to the ground behind the car. TITLE CARD!
, we get close-ups of Elena in her bed and Stefan in his. They're both smiling and we're treated to a (sometimes overlapping! Oh, the cheese!) voice-over of their diary entries, even though neither character is currently engaged in writing. They're both all: Things are different now. Changed. I feel alive. Awake. Hopeful. Bah, humbug. All this wondrous optimism is because they know they'll see one another again. Oh, now Elena's in her usual window seat and actually scribbling away in her diary. Are you ready for the profundity? She writes, "I feel good." Sigh.
Aunt Jenna wants to know if she looks adult enough for Jeremy's school conference. With her hair up, Elena tags her look as "Sexy stewardess." With it down -- it's all "Boozy housewife." Hey, first of all she looks like neither, but secondly, and more importantly, on behalf of my people -- er...we wish we looked like that. Maybe more booze is the answer. BRB. Ahhhhh. With Elena's help, Jenna realizes Jeremy didn't go to woodshop early, on account of the fact that there is no woodshop. So where has our pet druggie gone? Aww. He's mooning over his and our favorite crack ho at the hospital. It's before visiting hours though, so the nurse chases him out without giving him any real information about the sleeping Vicki's condition. How can she be so blind to his acute case of adolescent angst?
In history class, the surly teacher busts Elena and Stefan for making eyes at each other while he lectures about the impending comet, which hasn't graced the skies of Mystic Falls in 145 years. I don't even need to do the math to know that means it was last here in 1864 -- the Katherine era. It will be its brightest right after dusk, "During tomorrow's celebration." Well then, why the heck were our Victims-Of-The-Week camping out last night? Too dumb to live -- right? Good, now that we're all agreed, let's continue. After class, Stefan gives Elena a copy of Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights; it's vintage -- bearing her penname, Ellis Bell. He explains er... sexism, you know, but what's more interesting to me here is the question of how much Brontë's Catherine and LJ Smith's Katherine (and/or Elena) have in common. I'll have to put a mental sticky on that and see how and if it is reflected in the season's story. Meanwhile, Bonnie tells Caroline about her witchy lineage that she's learning all about from her liquor-loopy Grams (that's one liquor-loopy grandmother with an endearment ending in s). Caroline listens as well as she can when the subject isn't Caroline. She's still all dreamy about the handsome stranger (Damon) with whom she shared a look at the Mystic Grill the night before. Bonnie is one of those stock (albeit quite beautiful) TV teens who seems to have her head on straight and knows everything about the ways of boys and girls, so of course she's single.
Outside, Jeremy heads straight to Tyler, who, this week, comes off as more of a jock/prep, and less a greaseless, leatherless greaser. And he now looks like the poor woman's Tyler Christopher (or perhaps that should read "the young woman's Tyler Christopher"). Anyhow, Jeremy makes a beeline for Tyler, who is talking up some girls. Jeremy lays the sarcasm on nice and thick as he goes on about how close Tyler and Vicki are, and so Tyler must have an update on her condition. Tyler tells Jeremy that Vicki is fine, but we can tell he doesn't even know. He sure wants Jeremy to go away, though. It's like he doesn't want to be seen talking to him. The two stop short of getting physical, but Jeremy does tell Tyler that he'd better not hurt Vicki again, or he'll kill him. After Jeremy stomps off, Tyler looks around and adds in a lame voice, "Damn, that was like a death threat." He turns to the girls. "Did you hear that?" Tool.
Across campus, Stefan sits on a picnic table some distance away, but thanks to his vamp powers, he can hear Matt tell Elena that Vicki should be discharged tomorrow. It seems their mom is still away in Virginia Beach -- with her boyfriend. Since this show is set in Virginia, their mom gets a big FAIL from me for not rushing home (but not an EPIC FAIL; I'm saving that for later). Matt then tells Elena that Vicki thinks she was attacked by a vampire. Matt chalks this up to Vicki being drunk and changes the subject. He wants to know what's up between Elena and the new guy. When Elena prefaces her answer with: "The last thing I want to do is hurt you..." Matt readily decodes her "It's not you; it's me," super-secret double-dumpage preamble, and cuts her off by announcing that he's going to the hospital to be there when his sister Vicki wakes up. Once he's gone, Elena turns towards Stefan, but he has vanished. As Elena scans the schoolyard for him, we cut to...
History Classroom: Mr. Tanner is concerned because Jeremy has skipped six of his classes in three days of school. Aunt Jenna, whose dress is cut way too low in the back for a school conference (so, sexy, off-duty stewardess it is) reminds him that Jeremy and Elena's parents recently died. Tanner pays lip service to human emotions, but only so that he can make Jenna feel like an unqualified "kid sister." He also drops the bomb that Jeremy's been doing drugs and strongly implies that an adult relative other than herself should be in charge of the Gilbert children. He reminds her that she is stuck in the impossible role of being guardian to two teens. When Jenna corrects that it's difficult, not "impossible," Tanner's all, Ha, see, that you think it's not impossible shows how impossible it's going to be! If it's not impossible, UR DOIN IT WRONG! Well, I guess he showed her.
Hospital: Stefan heads towards Vicki's room, but ducks into the shadows once he spies Matt doing likewise. When Matt gets to the room, the bed is empty. Matt looks around and is startled to find Vicki standing right behind him. He tries to talk to her, but while her lights are on, there's no one home. When he places his hands on her shoulders, she panics, fights him off and screams, "No," repeatedly. When Matt runs off to the nurses' station, Stefan zips in and enthralls. "An animal attacked you. You blacked out. That's all you remember." In a trance, Vicki repeats her new mantra. When Matt and a nurse return to Vicki's room, Stefan is gone and Vicki is sleeping soundly. Matt happens to look out in the corridor and catches sight of Stefan's retreating form. Stefan seeks refuge in a room that turns out to be the blood transfusion clinic. What are the odds? Eyes bloodshot and face all veiny, Stefan disappears behind a privacy curtain. When Matt pulls it back, all he finds is an open window. Pish. Like hospital windows even open. He looks outside, but cannot find Stefan. COMMERCIAL!
Ooh, spooky Supernatural promo. Did you see that? I'm never going to be able to watch that show the night it airs, am I? Darn it. You can, though, because you're not covering The Vampire Diaries, and it airs right after. The boys are even prettier and honestly, the story (so far) is (much) better. You can even catch up on Supernatural's past seasons, right here on TWoP. Demian gives good recap, and I got to do a guest stint last season. It was a blast. Okay, commercial's over. Let's get back to the show.
Downtown Mystic Falls: Seated at an outdoor table at the Mystic Grill, Bonnie fills Caroline and Elena in on her Gramwitch's backstory about the coming celestial event. "She said the comet is a sign of impending doom. The last time it passed over Mystic Falls, there was lots of death -- so much blood and carnage it created a bed of paranormal activity." Of course, there may have been a lot of death, blood and carnage because that was during the Civil War. Oy. Caroline's with me. "Yeah, and then you poured Grams another shot, and she told you about the aliens." Caroline then turns her attention to Elena so she can pump her for the smutty details of her time with Stefan. She is disappointed that it only amounted to so much talk. You think you're disappointed in talk now, Caroline? I'll send you an MP3 of their DIARY-Ahhhs. Caroline tells Elena to "Just jump his bones, already. Okay, it's easy. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Sex!" Elena says, "Profound," and she ought to know. I mean she's the wordsmith that gave us, "I feel good." She stews for a moment, then stands, leaving Bonnie and Caroline seated. When Bonnie asks where she's going, Elena announces that Caroline's right and that if she thinks about it too long, she'll talk herself out of it. Caroline looks even more surprised than Bonnie that Elena said, "Caroline's right."
Gilbert House: Jenna tries to connect with Jeremy by offering him tacos and 'fessing up that the meal is a ruse to get him to talk. Jeremy keeps heading toward the door and Jenna calls him back with some actual, good-natured authority. She tells him about her own pothead days. "Anything to get a little distraction from life...reality. And? It worked... for a while. Never lasts, though." She turns her back on him to get something out of the fridge. Jeremy can smell what's really cooking here, so he rises as Jenna says she wouldn't mind indulging now, but with her thesis looming and her waistline expanding... She turns to face him once again, but he's already out the slider. Drusilla whispers in my ear, "Perhaps the mean teacher was right."
Hospital: Vicki picks at her food while Matt dozes in the chair at her bedside. She's bored so she throws her little, sealed hospital juice cup at him. Matt wakes and is heartened by how good Vicki looks, but is surprised she doesn't remember the screaming stunt from earlier in the day. He gives her the good news that she can come home tomorrow and asks what attacked her in the woods. Vicki hesitates, then says, "An animal... what else... could it have been?" Then Jeremy walks in. Vicki looks uncomfortably surprised. Matt smirks and bows out to get a coffee. Vicki tells Jeremy that Matt look suspicious, and she doesn't want people to find about their summer of love (on Jeremy's part; drug-induced sex on hers). When he tells her to get over that, she confesses that she also wants to keep their fling a secret, because Tyler is finally starting to show some interest in her. Jeremy smiles. "You have to get over that, too. Do you see Mr. Concerned?" He looks under the bed. "Tyler, are you under there?" Vicki laughs, but she's also hung up on their age difference, which I'm thinking can be two years at the most, but I have to drag myself back over the decades and remember that two years is HUGE in high school. When the girl is the older partner, it feels like dog years. There were boys I wouldn't look at, and boys I never let anyone know I did look at, all because of 24 months in the wrong direction. She's also concerned that Matt and Elena would freak. I don't know why, since they dated one another. Jeremy says that no one will suspect a thing. "Why wouldn't I check on you? I mean, I'm the one who found you." Elena did not remember that, and she warms up considerably once she learns Jeremy carried her out of the woods. They share a shy sort of smile and we cut to...
Mossy Manse: Elena rings the doorbell, but when there's not an immediate answer, she uses the knocker, which pushes the door open, slightly. That's good enough for her. Having no apparent manners, she enters the house and calls Stefan's name. As if that weren't bad enough, she goes a bit further in, at least until she hears the door behind her creak on its hinges. When she spins around a crow flies at her head. I totally want an attack crow, now. Elena ducks, turns and ends up an inch away from Damon's face. The crow is gone. Damon cocks his head and almost smiles. COMMERCIAL!
Elena, still standing perilously close to Damon, apologizes for barging in and explains that the door was open. Damon seems to be a close-talker. "You must be Elena. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother." When Elena admits she didn't know Stefan had a brother, Damon smiles. "Well, Stefan's not one to brag." Hee. He invites her in, saying he's sure Stefan should be along shortly. Elena is overwhelmed by the ornate parlor, but Damon dismisses it as kitschy, and steers her toward the subject of Stefan's love life. "I see why my brother is so smitten. It's about time. For a while there, I never thought he'd get over the last one." He draws a sharp breath. "Nearly destroyed him." Elena makes this too simple for Damon -- she's far too easily bothered by the mention of Stefan's "last one." Damon then name-checks Katherine, waits a beat, and says, "Oh, you two haven't had the awkward exes conversation, yet?" Elena chokes out a, "Nope." Damon then plants the idea in Elena's head that Stefan avoided mentioning Katherine so Elena wouldn't know he was on the rebound. He's very good at being so bad, and Somerhalder is the perfect blend of pretty and crazy in this role. He looks like he's having a hell of a time, too. Damon lays out his fatalistic philosophy that all relationships are doomed to end, and before Elena can take much exception to this, he says, "Hello, Stefan." These guys are always sneaking up on the womenfolk. I don't like it. Stefan addresses Elena, but his voice is flat -- his eyes never leave Damon's. "Elena, I didn't know you were coming over." She starts to apologize and says she should have called, which gives Damon the opportunity to play the gracious host. Stefan will have none of this and cuts off the conversation. "Thank you for stopping by, Elena. Nice to see you." His eyes are still trained on his brother. Once Elena gets out an ice pick and chips away the giant block that's frozen her in her tracks, she beats a hasty retreat. Stefan only looks at her to get out of her way. Brrrrrr!
Once Elena leaves, Damon taunts Stefan by praising her "spunk." It must be stealth-spunk. He then decides Stefan looks worn-out and soon figures out it's because Stefan tried to put the whammy on Vicki. "Remember, if you don't feed properly, none of those little tricks work right." Stefan ignores this and asks how long Elena was there. Damon says, "Are you worried Stefan -- scared we may be doomed to repeat the past?" He asks if that isn't why Stefan is going through the whole high school student charade. He then brings close talking to a whole new level. "We both know the closest you'll ever get to humanity is when you rip it open and feed on it." Oh, my. It looks like those brother-slashers who are tired of team Winchester have just found a whole new sandbox. Why did it have to be on my show? I'm sorry, back to the episode. Stefan wants to know what kind of game Damon is playing, but Damon enjoys maintaining the suspense.
Gilbert house: Elena tells Jenna that Stefan is on the rebound and has raging family issues. Jenna gives her the more grown-up alternative of mommy, cheating or amphetamine issues. Just then a hooded Jeremy enters, but he's not in the mood to talk. Jenna demands to know where he was, but Jeremy is too stoned to get into it with her, gives her some smartass talk, and starts up the stairs. Jenna throws her apple at him (actual spunk!) and tells him to quit skipping class or he's grounded. Jeremy slurs, "Parental authority -- I like it." He gives her the thumbs up, tells her to sleep tight and heads on his merry highway to bed.
Hospital: Vicki's sleep is restless. She gets out of bed and looks at her brother Matt, sleeping in the chair. Walking to the bathroom, she turns on the faucet and looks up to see Damon's reflection in the mirror. When she turns, he's gone. Returning to her room, she tries to wake Matt, who then turns into a vamp-faced Damon. Vicki wakes with a gasp. COMMERCIAL!
Mystic Falls Town Square: Banners announce the "Night of the Comet." Kids play and get their faces painted. People mingle. And Elena and Bonnie hand out "programs" for the night's event. How they've come by these programs and why they're handing them out is not explained. Look, we need the girls downtown and we've already shot a scene of them at the Grill. Quick, call the contrivance fairy. Elena confesses to Bonnie that Stefan has neither called nor texted her, but they never even got to the point where they could exchange that sort of information, so... look, the point is, she's doing the sort of mental gymnastics teenaged girls are sometimes known to do when they are hurt by a boy but want to believe that his lack of attention is just an accident. I mean come on, Elena -- the boy found your house quickly enough and had no problem just showing up, whenever he wanted to talk to you. Anyhow, Elena says their timing was wrong. Bonnie, the wise single, says, "When is it ever right?" Cut to Caroline wandering across the common. She spies Damon staring intently and assumes she's the target. Hair and other parts bouncing, she struts toward him with a knowing look on her face. He disappears, as does Caroline's smile.
Mossy Manse: Zach wants to know why Damon has come back to Mystic Falls. Stefan explains that it's because he's there and Damon's goal in unlife is to make his unlife miserable. Zach says Damon is putting them all at risk and worries that the girl in the hospital will talk. Stefan says she won't. "I took care of her." When Zach asks if he's sure, Stefan has to admit that he can't be sure because his powers are not as strong as Damon's. Whatever, he'll deal with whatever problems arise. As he goes to leave, Zach says, "Is she worth it, Uncle Stefan -- this girl you came back for?" Stefan looks hurt and Zach's a bit chagrined. We cut to...
The Mystic Grill: Vicki's trying to get some more time off, but her boss isn't being cooperative. Jeremy gives her some illicit pain meds and asks if she's going to watch the comet, later. She says she can be talked into it, and that she'll meet him outside in a few. Tyler walks up and inquires as to how she's doing. When Vicki sneers, "Like you care," and walks off, Jeremy's smile could light up the night. There is a little more Tyler/Jeremy tension and we cut to...
Mystic Falls Common: People with lit candles light the candles of others in a familiar way that indicates this is a well-practiced town tradition...even though it only happens once every 145 years. Yeah. See: Christmas tree; step-brother; wake. Since Matt carries a torch for Elena, he lights her fire, but only in the literal sense. After exchanging uncomfortable pleasantries she turns to light the dark candle she sees, and only once it is ablaze does she realize it's Stefan's. How am I going to finish this cheese without some more wine to wash it down? He smiles, "Hi." Elena is startled. She glances back at Matt who looks on in resignation. Then Elena actually surprises me by walking away from both boys, but only about a half dozen steps. Matt tries not to watch but can't resists a few sneak peeks as Stefan approaches Elena and gives her the history of the comet. "It's been traveling across space for a thousand years. All alone." Elena shares Bonnie's "harbinger of evil," theory (it's like they want me to link to another Buffy recap, but I just won't do it this time). As they look up at the sky, Stefan says, "I think it's just a ball of snow and ice, trapped on a path it can't escape. Once every 145 years, it gets to come home." Is it me, or was that the most ridiculous contradictory mix of science and romance? ["It may be a cluster of inert gasses and radioactive isotopes held together by a trace magnetic charge, but it still has feelings." - Zach] Stefan says he's sorry for his treatment of Elena at Mossy Manse. She snarks that he apologizes a lot (which is true, so you think he'd apologize for that comet bit, but no...). He says...oh, I'll spare you. Anyhow, she brings up Katherine, and the subject turns to loss, and familial and romantic complications. Elena has no spunk whatsoever. "It's okay. We met, and we talked and it was epic, but..."
OH COME ON! You just met. That's not epic. Let Logan Echolls give you the definition of epic: "[...]You know...spanning years and continents. Lives ruined. Bloodshed." I mean, when I typed "Veronica Mars quotes" into Google, it offered me a bunch of suggestions before I even hit the "Google Search" button, and the very first one was "Veronica Mars quotes epic." I'm not saying you and Stefan cannot be epic, Elena. I'm sure your writers are shooting for just that, but they just overshot. "I met a boy and he liked me one day and froze me out the ," isn't epic, it's adolescence. EPIC FAIL! Also, Logan wants you to tell Stefan that when he offered up the word anthropomorphic, he never thought some moody vamp would employ the technique on a comet. Anyhow, Elena says something like, "Then the sun came up and reality set in." They search each others eyes for a moment, then Elena lamely adds, "So..." and walks off.
The Mystic Grill: When Vicki spots Damon, she tells him she knows him. He smirks. "Well, that's unfortunate." She can't recall how, but when she stares at his face, she laughs nervously and takes off for the ladies room. She pops some more pills, leans over the sink to get some water to wash them down with, and when she stands back up, Damon is right behind her, fangs bared, snarling and lunging for her neck. She screams and.... COMMERCIAL!
Still At The Grill: Jeremy asks the gang if they've seen Vicki. Tyler snarks about him being her stalker, so he ought to know. Matt is the only one truly concerned. Elena's too busy paying attention to Tyler calling Jeremy a pill-pusher. When Tyler taunts Jeremy that Vicki will never go for him, Jeremy says, "She already did. Over and over and over again." Oh, high school. Never change. I wait for Matt to react to that, but he doesn't have time before Jeremy reveals that Tyler was forcing himself on Vicki at the party last week. Matt reacts to that, but as the whole gang gets out of hand, he assumes the voice of sanity and tells them all to shut up and help him find his sister. As they set out on the Great Vicki Quest '09 (which I bet happens a lot more frequently than every 145 years), Elena calls Jeremy out on dealing, which he denies. She then tries to talk to him about using and says he can either talk to a therapist, go to rehab, or talk to her. That she thinks talking to her is the most effective option reveals an awful lot about Elena, if you think about it. Go to rehab, kid. Choose rehab.
Town Square: Matt questions Stefan about Vicki's whereabouts and then mentions he saw him at the hospital. When Stefan claims he was just visiting someone, Matt forgets the Great Vicki Quest '09 for a moment, to make sure Stefan knows that even though Matt and Elena are no longer together, Matt will always look out for her. Stefan's super-hearing then kicks in and he recognizes Vicki begging for mercy and Damon hissing back at her. He walks off leaving Matt staring after him, and finds Vicki and Damon atop a building. He's as proficient at jumping up onto roofs as he is as jumping down from them. Damon smiles. "Not bad. Have you been eating bunnies?" Whee! Anya whispers in my ear, "I like him. He's funny and nicely shaped." Hush, girl. Vicki is about to fall or be pushed off that ledge.
After some begging from Stefan and Vicki, Damon reluctantly throws her onto the rooftop, but not without noting that while he doesn't need her to be dead, Stefan might. He asks Vicki what attacked her the other night. First she says she doesn't know. Then she says it was an animal. After more prodding, she says it was a vampire. When he demands who "did this to her," Vicki looks at Damon and shouts, "You did!" He then breaks out his blood-powered mojo. In a trance, Vicki repeats: "Stefan Salvatore did this to me." Stefan pleads with him to stop, but Damon says that since Stefan couldn't fix it before, he's not going to be able to fix it now. He rips the gauze bandage off Vicki's neck and thrusts her into Stefan's arms. Stefan vamps out, and throws Vicki down to the roof's surface, while Damon tries to tempt him into drinking human blood, reminding him how he now needs the power that it provides, since Stefan will be blamed for Vicki's attack, and his secret will be out. Stefan's cool with submitting to a good old-fashioned staking, because that means he'll never again have to put up with Damon again. This response seems to surprise Damon, who bends down and whispers something in Vicki's ear. She calms down and it's obvious she remembers nothing. She blames the pills she took, says she's good, and leaves the battling brothers. Damon decides to stay in town and stir things up. Stefan asks Damon what he's up to, even though a moment ago, Stefan figured out that Damon is trying to get Stefan to go all darkside again, so that they can be true brothers. Instead of pointing this out though, Damon goes all crazy eyes and says, "That's for me to know and for you to... dot dot dot." Yeah. No, he really says dot dot dot. I've gone to one of my top authorities on bad TV, TWoP's own Angel Cohn (I mean really, you should see the dreck girlfriend watched this summer, and I suspect some of it wasn't just for work, and don't snicker, Mindy Monez, your viewing habits are no better) for a ruling on this ellipsis abuse. Angel says, and I quote, "Dear Vampire Diaries, [...] don't have someone literally say "dot dot dot," ever again." I think she's right, Show.
The Grill: Matt re-bandages Vicki's wound, and when Stefan approaches, he thanks him for finding his sister. Meanwhile, Caroline bitches to Bonnie about all the drama. "Ever notice how the druggies are the biggest attention whores?" Bonnie's lips say, "Yeah," but her eyes say, "Ha. I never pegged you for a druggie." Stefan stops by their table and inquires after Elena. Bonnie tells him she went home, and then stops him to give him Elena's cell number and e-mail. While Bonnie writes, she says, "She is big on texting. And you can tell her I said so." The two share a friendly smile, but when their fingers touch while Bonnie hands him Elena's info, she has a psychic moment. Her hand recoils from his and her eyes grow wide. "What happened to you?" Bonnie comes fully out of her daze and apologizes for being rude as she scurries from the table. When Stefan looks to Caroline for an explanation, all she can say is, "Yeah...she kind of...wigs out. It's like her thing." I wonder what he thinks about the decline in conversation over the past -- oh let's say century and a half.
Gilbert House: Elena finds Aunt Jenna scouring Jeremy's room for drugs and paraphernalia. Jenna feels like a hypocrite and her own worst nightmare, but she still remembers the hiding places and realizes some measure of snooping success. When Elena asks what's brought on this change, Jenna tells her about her meeting with their "asshat" of History teacher yesterday. Elena nods. "You got Tanner-ed. Been there." Jenna rants about her screw-ups as their guardian and laments the fact that she's not "her" (Elena and Jeremy's mom; Jenna's sister), who made everything look so easy. She finally declares her job "impossible." Somewhere, Mr. Tanner gets a tingle up his spine. Elena tells Jenna that's "just the fear talking. You're a little scared, that's all. We all are." Then, as if entranced by the utter shallowness of her great insight, she announces she has to go. Jenna must be a crap guardian, because she doesn't even ask where Elena's going.
Grill: Jeremy walks in looking for Vicki. He's relieved to find her leaning against the wall, but then Tyler comes into view and Vicki's arms. They make out and Jeremy's face falls.
Town Square: Caroline seems a bit skittish as she walks to her car, so of course she drops her keys. Something makes her turn around and she's relieved to realize there's nothing there. But when she turns back to her car, old Close-Talker is standing in the small space between her and her car door. He offers a completely insincere apology for startling her. When she accepts it and says she was hoping to see him again, Damon leers. "I know." Caroline volleys, "Cocky much?" Damon returns: "Very much." Oh, my! I'll get back to typing just as soon as I loosen my grip on my pearls.
Mossy Manse: Elena arrives at Stefan's door, because that went so well last time. When he answers, he's much more obliging and invites her in. Instead of accepting, she brings him outside to look at the slowest-moving comet in God's heavens. Elena confesses that she was going to go home and do what she always does -- write in her diary. He asks what she would have written and again I'll spare you, because I'm a giver like that. Suffice it to say she decided to talk directly to him about the things that would usually go in the little book about giving up, not taking risks, etc., but now she knows she's hiding from the truth that she's afraid of being happy, because she can't stand to have it all come crashing down again. Stefan asks, "Do you want to know what I would write?" When Elena nods, he says "I met a girl. We talked. It was epic. And then the sun came up and reality set in...Well, this is reality. Right here." That makes even less sense to me than anthropomorphizing a comet, but it works for Elena. Stefan leans in for a kiss which is slow and gentle, if a bit short. When their lips part, they look deeply into each others' eyes (which I seem to type a lot). This time, Elena moves in for the kill er... I mean kiss, and it's longer and more intense. Stefan whispers in my ear, "Passionate." Thanks sweetie, I got that already. We cut to...
Somebody's bedroom. Damon looks up at us and then trails his lips from (at least) Caroline's navel up the length of her form. Her back arches. Her bright pink bra thrusts north to give the camera a clear shot. But then, Damon vamps out. His face goes all vein-y and his eyes are bloodshot and rimmed with red. When Caroline opens her eyes, she is frightened into silence. Damon lunges at her -- going in for the kill. Caroline's screams carry us into the black.
Well, overall, this episode worked less well for me than did the pilot. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for cheese this week? I do like that Matt seems to be a good guy, and that Caroline is less one-dimensional than I originally thought. The music is driving me nuts, though. Is it as intrusive as I think? I'm fine with it on shows like Veronica Mars, Scrubs and, of course, Supernatural so I sort of don't think it's me, but nothing makes me feel older than watching this show, and telling my pre-teen and teen that they can't, so I have to admit it just might be that this show wasn't written for me in the first place. Before I close, I'd like to thank the kind readers who wrote in to explain to me that it was always supposed to be Damon that shape-shifts and brings on the fog, never Stefan, and to everyone else who wrote in with their thoughts and speculation. week, Stefan joins the football team, and Elena lets out a big scream. See you then.
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In addition to covering The Vampire Diaries, Cindy McLennan also recaps Lost and weecaps How I Met Your Mother (which returns this week, yay!). You can tell her how old she is at CindyMcLennan[at]gmail.com.