Episode Report Card M. Giant: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lock Up Your Daughters
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 03.15.2011
sed she didn't dream meeting Anna in a tree and beheading her with a lightsaber. Chad cuts in to say he also can't reach Ryan. "What the hell is going on on that ship?" You're the reporter, Twinkles. Figure it out.Anna has been watching the ransom video in her office when No. 2 comes in to make a confession: "I watched you fall prey to human emotion and fall victim to Diana's manipulations. I betrayed you. And for that I deserve one fate. Death." With that, he cocks his head way over to the side, exposing his neck. I think he's overplaying his part in the conspiracy just a scoche. Anna looks like she's about to take him up on it, but cuts him some slack. "You acted on what you believed was the best for our species." Besides, there are already three deaths in this episode. Oh, you've only counted two so far? Never mind, forget I said anything. Anna has another news flash for him: "Human emotion can be useful. It's how I stopped Lisa from killing me. If I can wield it like a weapon, use it to manipulate the humans, I'll be more powerful than ever before." So she's not only not satisfied with possessing the technology to blow this damp rock out of orbit, she also wants to go nuclear on the PR war she's already been winning since day one? That's just greedy. No. 2 says he can't give up anyone else. "I interfaced only with Diana, she made sure of that." By slipping a note inside the case of his favorite Peter Gallagher DVD. But Anna's on that already; the V-techs have been working on that ransom recording. She replays it with the voice unscrambled, thanks to V technology. "That's Chad Decker's voice," No. 2 realizes. Nice one, idiots. "Bring him to me," Anna orders darkly, then stops No. 2 on his way out, warning, "Don't ever betray me again." He seems to have learned his lesson.
As Marcus leaves the room, Joshua enters with the new Lisa, who's even dressed in a replica of Lisa's outfit. "Hello, Mother," she says coldly so we know she's evil. Anna asks, "Has she watched all of Lisa's memories?" "Just what she needs for tonight," Joshua says. Wait, so they have access to Lisa's memories? Why are they fucking around with human-made ransom recordings when they can just ransack Lisa's mind and expose the whole conspiracy? Maybe that's the kind of thing I'd understand better if I watched this show every week, or at least I'd be used to it. Joshua adds that Tyler won't know the difference, which would probably also be the case if Fake Lisa were catatonic. Anna sends Fake Lisa on her way, whispering to Joshua. "She's perfect!" Of course, Anna doesn't know that Joshua is part of the Fifth Column, and that he therefore probably just introduced the real Lisa as the fake one. Unless Joshua is a big, giant idiot, that is.
So then Lisa (we'll assume it's the real one until we have reason to think otherwise) lounges on a couch in her mothership apartment, wearing a filmy fuchsia robe. Tyler comes in, wanting to talk. Even when he sees the robe? Erica must have gotten through to him a little bit after all. Lisa gets up and kisses him, but he's got to ask her if what he heard is true, even though he knows it's crazy. She agrees that it is. Meanwhile, in the bilge, Anna and a couple of guards visit its new inmate, Lisa. "You've certainly looked better, dear." Anna says to her daughter, whichever one it is. Up in the apartment, the other Lisa whispers in Tyler's ear, "Unfortunately, there's just some people you can't trust." As she makes with the kissing, Anna makes some comment about Lisa's new home now that her grandmother doesn't need it any more, and other such bons mot from Emily Post's Small Talk for Villains. Meanwhile, the Lisa upstairs pushes Tyler down on the bed and waits until the camera's in nice and tight before shedding the robe. The Lisa in the bilge asks Anna why she doesn't kill her. Anna answers, "I wasn't lying when I said not all human emotion is bad. This one's called vengeance. I want to see you suffer. Enjoy the show." With that, she activates a holo-screen of Tyler on the bed in her apartment, being ridden cowgirl-style by the other Lisa. The one with Tyler gives the ceiling-cam a smug smirk while the one in the bilge looks on in horror. So I guess we can assume that Joshua did exactly what Anna told him to? Come on, Joshua, I know you just rebooted last week, but how about a little initiative?
Back at home, Erica is in the middle of leaving Tyler another voice mail message when someone throws a black bag over her head from behind. She fights, but her kidnapper's a big strong dude and she's only a tiny little blonde FBI agent-slash-freedom fighter.
Fake Lisa (for I think we can safely assume that the one who just sexed Tyler is the fake one) sits up on the bed. Tyler is too deep into a post-coital semi-coma to notice as she unhinges her jaw and deploys the scary-ass fangs, but Real Lisa sees it all on the holo-screen. Fake Lisa dives down with those razor-teeth and sinks them into Tyler's throat, spraying the white linens with his blood as Real Lisa shrieks in horror. Fake Lisa comes up for air, putting her teeth away and licking her gore-coated lips. Laura Vandervoort's really selling this, complete with glazed eyes and a mug that looks like she just got pegged by a blood-balloon. She turns her red-painted face up to the ceiling camera, which is getting a nice, unobstructed view of Tyler's half-severed neck. Way to be proactive, Joshua. But it's interesting how the best moments in this episode are right after characters get killed. Just kill them all and we'll have a winner from beginning to end. And even better, everyone will be dead.
Erica's head is uncovered in a dark room, but her arms are fully tied to a chair. "Just untie one hand and it'll be a fair fight," she bravados to the shadowy figure approaching her. He says she's here because of what she knows. She asks who he is, and he steps into something resembling light. "I'm Lars Tremont. Leader of Project Ares." Funny, he looks like Mike Donovan from the original series, only 30 years older. Welcome back Marc Singer, everyone. I'm sure he'll turn out to be as true to his original character as Diana was.
In the newsroom, a squad of V guards comes up to Chad and says Anna wants to see him. Chad nods, but take his sweet time getting up. Obviously it's not the first time he's been summoned to see Anna, but it's probably the first time she's sent four mean-looking guys. On the bright side, at least now he'll get to find out what's going on on that ship.
Looks like they've cut Erica loose already, so I guess she and Lars have gotten all friendly. Only a few minutes left, so we're clearly in a hurry to wrap things up. She gets off an elevator with Lars and the two guards who were with him, emerging into a vast control room. Lars tells her they're a mile under Manhattan. "This place could withstand any nuclear fallout, or, say, the impact of a mothership being blown out of the sky." Just hypothetically? "Project Ares is a cabal of high-ranking military and government leaders from around the world who have long suspected that the Vs are not of peace." Well, of course they aren't. That isn't even a sentence. "We also know, as do you, that they've been here a lot longer than anyone has imagined." They've now reached two guys with their backs to them, looking over the balcony. "Gentlemen?" Lars says, cueing their dramatic turn to Erica to reveal that they are Kendrick and Bolling. "How long have you been tracking me?" she asks them, when she recovers from the shock that now literally everyone she knows is involved with at least one of the ongoing conspiracies. "Long enough to know that we can trust you," Bolling says, which is a good answer for getting himself out of trouble with her. Lars pronounces, "This, Agent Evans, is humanity's last, best hope for a future." Lars is kind of grandiose, but he's a little lacking in gravitas somehow.
On the mothership, Anna has changed into a long, strapless wedding gown. Because if there's anything we've learned from this episode it's that if someone's wearing