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Anna is determined to get answers from her mommy. Apparently, the Visitors had a Shakespearean moment, and Anna overthrew her mother and stored her away for 15 years in case she needed any hints from Heloise or something. Anna needs pointers on how to get rid of the human emotions infecting the ship, but somehow Mama (original V star Jane Badler) deduces that Anna is infertile and the future of the race depends on Lisa's willingness to get funky with Tyler (*shudder*). Anna engages in some elder abuse until her mom gives her some clues as to How To Make Enemies With Your Emotions in 12 Easy Steps. The secret? Find the soul and destroy it. You probably need to come up with an evil laugh, too.
Lisa tells Erica that Joshua is alive, but he doesn't remember anything, not even being a back up singer in The Fifth Column. Anna tosses his reanimated corpse in a memory chamber so Anna can root out the terrorists who were working with him. The only face she finds in Joshua's reconstructed memory is Erica. But it's not Erica's involvement with the Fifth Column, it's her shooting him in the face.
Ryan has a funeral for Val, but he doesn't cry because they forgot to install tear ducts or something? Val's parents yell at him about that, but Father Jack reminds him to keep his eyes on the prize… and if he has a soul he should give it to Jesus.
Father Jack has developed an internet following and is inciting violence against the Visitors, which probably goes against at least one edict of the church. Suicide bombers ahoy! Chad Decker is reporting on the wondrous rejuvenation of Visitor-Human relations when the first bomb goes off. The bomber is just one part of concerted suicide bomb attacks across the globe. Obviously, the Fifth Column is blamed. Anna knows just the thing to fight back: Ryan Nichols. And now that she's skinned the baby (as in put skin on it) the darn thing is a cuddly little piece of bait to lure Ryan back to the fold. Ryan's putting up a good fight, but between Anna's bliss, the fact that she's torturing his daughter and Father Jack trying to bring him to Jesus, Ryan has had it up to here. But then he cries AND tells Anna to bliss his daughter and he's back on Team V.
Erica has realized that Chad Decker is the target of the Fifth Column bomb attacks because he's Anna's mouthpiece. She stops a second attempt on his life, which sets Kyle and Erica in a race against Agent Malik and the Visitors in the hunt for the Fifth Column. Kyle finds a clue that leads them to a repository of terrorist activities, but Malik lead the Vs to the same point and she and Kyle duke it out. After Kyle punches her out, her alien underpinnings are revealed. Then Kyle finds a clue that sends Erica and Malik on a road trip TO HELL. Accusations are hurled, the car flips over, and the feds are too cheap for airbags. Erica might be dead. CLIFFHANGER!
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Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates is pretty sure you could destroy souls by making them watch this show for eternity. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Do you have short term memory loss due to years of sitting way too close to the television set, or can you remember way back to last week when it was revealed that Anna put her mother in a hole and made her put the lotion on her skin or she gets the hose again and again for FIFTEEN years? Cause, yeah, that happened. And that lotion really worked because her mama is pretty va-va-voom for being the Aged P and more or less a flesh-wrapped frog. But as I've mentioned before, I think V technology would be pretty bitchin' in the anti-wrinkle realm and Anna's mother proves my point delightfully. Seriously, she looks awesome for someone everyone thinks is dead. I should mention that Anna's mother is played by Jane Badler who was Diana on The OG V. I'm not sure whether this means that Diana is Anna's mother, or if this is just a subtle, "Heyyyyy." (Obviously you are supposed to say that like Jackee, and if you don't know who Jackee is... you have a lot of television to watch.) Since Jane Badler's name is Diana in both shows, maybe she is the same character? Although that would be pretty hard to mesh with the current storyline of The Visitors making their first appearance during episode one of the first season. But, what's a little ret-conning between friends, right?
Anyway, Anna's mama doesn't seem nearly as pissed as she should be about being kept in what looks like, well, a hairy ball sack dangling in the middle of a swamplike room for the last fifteen years. I mean, she's not thrilled to see her darling daughter, but she's not lunging at her throat or aiming her tail at her face or desperately begging to be free or at least caught up on General Hospital. Rather, she's cold and indifferent, but wants to know what's up and why Anna is paying her a visit. Anna explains that she wants to know all about human emotions and how she can rid her crew from the nasty things. Oh I can help you with that, Anna: Step One: Take off human skin. Step Two: Watch reality television until you are dead inside. That's how I do it!
Anna has turned to her mother for advice because Diana has lived in her human skin twice as long as Anna and should know something about human emotion. Diana is feeling a little less than forthcoming, but you really can't blame her considering her 15-years of imprisonment. Instead of telling Anna anything about emotion, she recounts the story of how the Vs discovered Earth. It was when the U.S. dropped the first atomic bomb and the light glittered across the universe and the Vs came to see if they could mate with us. Geez, guys, time you're horny just buy a round for the house. Didn't you watch Earth Girls Are Easy? Also, thanks President Truman, you basically pimped out the planet with that whole Hiroshima thing. Diana continues that she came to earth, slapped on a skin suit and walked among the humans trying to figure out this whole mating thing as well as the rules to cricket, but both goals proved impossible. Diana warns that any attempts at breeding with humans will result in thinky, whiny, feelingy babies with no respect for authority, classic sci fi or their queen, and a love for musical theater that no V can understand. Anna swears that she will get human emotion under control and that she will begin interbreeding according to plan and on schedule. She hasn't been Employee of the Month around here for two years straight for nothing. Anna turns on her heel to leave, but accidentally mutters that Lisa is going to make a bazillion babies. Diana leaps on that like a dog on a bacon-covered dog poop: Lisa, huh? Lisa's going to have all the babies? That's because you're infertile, right? And there's no time to get to another planet and take them behind the bleachers and knock them up? So it has to be earth, huh? Earth or nothing? Anna doesn't answer, but heads for the hose.
On Earth, Tyler hasn't locked Erica up in a cave ... yet. So she is up early drinking coffee and reading her prenatal medical charts, which I guess she just kept around for this occasion? I mean who has their medical records just lying around? There is a highlight from her reading: Her phosphorus levels were way out of the normal range. Interrupting further highlighting and, I assume, based on my own study habits, Wite-Out sniffing, there's a knock at the front door. It's Lisa. She is there for Tyler, but also to pass along the news that Joshua is awake, but doesn't remember anything ...yet. Erica encourages her to stay as close as possible to Joshua because not only do they desperately need him on their side, but they also need to make sure he won't rat them out to Anna. If he's going to turn back into a V-loving blisshead, Erica may have to kill him. Again. When Erica and Lisa are standing side by side you realize how much they look alike and then you think about how Tyler should really talk to a professional about how he wants to bone his mom.
Erica adds to the laundry list of tasks she's already assigned Lisa to grill Joshua about any testing done on pregnant women in the last, say, 18 years. Oh, and can she pick up the dry-cleaning while she's at it? Lisa puts two and two together and realizes that Erica thinks she was tested on by the Visitors while she was pregnant with Tyler, but they can't actually talk about what that would mean because Tyler comes in and drags Lisa away to go procreate for the salvation of all V-kind. But before he runs off, Erica nimbly plucks a bloody piece of toilet paper off his neck and shoves it in some plastic wrap. She's like the MacGuyver of CSI! Where are your sunglasses of justice, Erica? Oh right, she has no David Caruso style, but is instead blessed with a purposeful stride to show off that she has both purpose and balls. Caruso only has sunglasses, but his show will last longer than this one.
Erica then purposefully strides into Dr. Sidney's office at fake NYU and orders him to start running his science tests on it to prove that Tyler is an alien implant. You can't blame her for wanting answers quickly; I wouldn't want to think Tyler was my son for a moment longer than necessary. Sidney wants to make sure that Erica really wants to know the answers and Erica assures him that she does. Has he met Tyler?
Now we come to a curious scene: It's Val's funeral. I guess the Visitors decided to repatriate her body? Or Ryan stole it on his way off the ship? Or the Visitors sent her body home to mom and dad? At any rate, everyone is standing around the grave sniffling and crying over poor dead Val and her unborn baby, everyone, that is, except Ryan. Do Visitors have tear ducts? Or is he just dead inside at this point? Have his human emotions fled him? Val's parents have decided that this is all Ryan's fault, so when he offers his condolences they slap him down. If he hadn't had pre-marital sex with their daughter she wouldn't have exacerbated her heart condition and then would not have died. What I think they are trying to say is: His penis killed their baby! Val had absolutely nothing to do with it. Then Val's mom notices that Ryan is not crying and accuses him of not having a soul, which has to sting a little bit. Or it would if he had a soul. I really hope this brings on a whole "Do I have a soul?" crisis just like the one in Twilight. That would be like a pop culture smorgasbord of deliciousness. Val's mom is about to spit on Ryan so her dad pulls her away, leaving Ryan alone. But not for long! He runs into one of Anna's messengers with a card from Anna that Ryan can use to see his daughter. Hey, pipe down, dude, these people don't know Val's baby is alive! Ryan takes the card, but does it skeptically.
Chad Decker is reporting live from one of the Visitors' Healing Centers. No. 2 is standing nearby and when Chad wraps his report, No. 2 introduces him to a pregnant lady who is going to be the first woman
to deliver using only V technology. Chad gets a panicky look on his face when he sees her because he knows that the Vs eat the young and stick needles in them and probably feed them trans fats while they're at it. Chad plays it cool, though, and simply preys on the soon-to-be mother's fears: You're so brave! None of the other mothers would do it! They didn't want to take the risk of, you know, killing their baby because the Visitors don't know anything about human childbirth. But, you're brave. You can be the first. The woman gets increasingly wide eyed as Chad talks and you can tell his undermining worked. Bravo, Chad. And I'm not even being facetious for once. It had to happen eventually.
Father Jack is taking the confession of a man who has lost his faith in the face of the Visitors and the Red Sky. But then he saw Father Jack's YouTube and Vyou channels and found his words inspirational. Now he has found his faith again and is at peace. Then we see clips of him building a bomb and there is blue terrorist alert lighting and we see him setting a timer. Then he walks up to the Visitors' Visitor Center and blows himself up to heaven. Suicide bombers ahoy!
The FBI is on the scene immediately and, naturally, that includes Erica, her boss, and Agent Malik, who is a V sympathizer and/or a V. Father Jack's missionary was just part of a synchronized bombing at Visitors' Visitor Centers around the globe. As they survey the wreckage, Erica tries to point out that killing humans is not really the Fifth Column's M.O. because they are anti-V, not anti-human. Nice try, Erica, but the Fifth Column sent out a memo explaining that they are willing to do whatever it takes to disrupt the alien agenda. Erica blurts, "Memo? What memo? I didn't get any memo." Then she remembers she is not supposed to be part of the Fifth Column and shouts, "Squirrel!" and Malik and the boss get distracted. Erica then mumbles something about the human tragedy and collateral damage to further separate herself from the terrorists. The Boss finds the terrorist's iphone and realizes that the bomb timer reset. They need to find out what's going to 'splode . 'Splosions make the FBI look bad and that won't happen on his watch.
Erica heads off to find bad guys, but Agent Malik has something to do first: She picks up a piece of evidence and walks it over to No. 2, who is just loitering. He thanks her and says her Queen will be pleased. So I guess Malik is wearing a skin suit under her FBI jacket and sensible slacks. Up on the ship, No.2 shows the widget to Anna and explains that they should be able to lift a print from it and find the bombers before the FBI does. I'm not sure why that is so important to them, but it is. Anna is not pleased that 29 of their centers were attacked. The Fifth Column is proving formidable. Luckily she has the perfect weapon: Ryan Nichols. He killed John May, he can kill an entire network of lone wolves spread across the globe connected only by the internet. No problem! No.2 points out that Ryan turned against them, resisted her Bliss, and then, you know, she let him go. Anna reminds him that she has Ryan's baby so she can make him do anything. Cut to Anna spraying human skin on the lil tadpole. She wants Ryan to feel Val's loss every time he sees the precious little angel they made together. That's a lot easier when the kid looks more like Val and less like an overgrown guppy. The baby is fussing after being... um, what's the opposite of skinned? Skinned? Anyway the kid is screeching and No. 2 remarks that it looks hungry. Anna disagrees, the child wants its mommy, but it just has Anna. She then puts the baby on her hip, marches over to a feeding station, picks up a large rat, puts on an exceedingly large toothy CGI grin and devours the rat whole. Unfortunately she turns away from the camera as she masticates the animal and spits it into the baby's mouth. That would have been fascinating to watch. Then holding his little girl, Anna video chats Ryan. He is not pleased that the baby has been removed from her aquarium. (I am not going to admit how long it just took me to spell that word.) Anna makes a schmoopy face and says that the little girl is just a bundle of adorableness and lolz and if he wants to get to know his baby all he has to do is help his own kind and fight the humans. Ryan hangs up on her.
Instead of going to FBI HQ, Erica has joined up with Kyle and Father Jack to try and figure out why the timer in New York has reset while the bombings have stopped in the rest of the world. I'm not sure why she feels so confident in that assertion, but okay. Although the answer is pretty obvious: The problem is only in New York because only Erica can solve it. She and Kyle get into a squabble about whether the Fifth Column has gone too far in their mission. Erica and Father Jack think human lives must be saved at all costs, while Kyle and Ryan think the ends always justify the means and besides, that just means fewer people to battle at the seafood buffet. Kyle adds that even if Erica doesn't agree with their tactics, they should try to get in touch with the Fifth Column so they can access their global network. It's the only way they can win the fight against the Visitors. Erica concedes that point and pulls out the one clue they have to the suicide bomber in NYC: A photo of the guy taken by a security camera moments before he 'splodes. Father Jack recognizes him at once and then immediately realizes that all his talk about inspiration and faith and being at peace were actually just inciting the guy to turn himself into a human firework. He gets all choked up thinking about how this is going to play out at the pearly gates. Erica pats him on the back gently and tells him it will be okay and can he hurry up and get over his emotions because they need an address for that guy, stat. His house undoubtedly has clues.
Up on the Mothership, Anna is scanning Joshua's brain for any memories of his Fifth Column cohorts. Lisa joins her to monitor the situation, which raises Anna's suspicion. Lisa claims that she just wants to make sure that the Fifth Column is found before they attack again and harm the Visitors' mission. Anna nods and the brain scan begins. A pictures forms, it's a face. Specifically, it's Erica's face, but it's not Erica conspiring with Joshua, it's Erica shooting him in the head. Useless! Anna demands better results, and the V tech assures her that while a lot of Joshua's memories are damaged, they will be able reconstruct some of them. Anna wants the names of the traitors who helped destroy her babies. Lisa gulps nervously in the corner.
Ryan is staring at Jesus on the cross as he waits for Father Jack to find the bomber's address in the church files. Father Jack wanders in and, noting the Jesus staring, decides that now would be a great time to bring Ryan to the Lord. He feels he owes the God team one because of that whole inciting someone to blow themselves up thing. He settles to Ryan and reminds him that Christ died for his sins, but Ryan's not in a talking mood. He wants to fight. He is a man of action, not thought. Jack knows that Val's funeral was this morning and if Ryan needs to talk, he is here for him. But Ryan really doesn't want to talk. He wants to pop Anna's head like it's a pimple. Meanwhile, Kyle and Erica have gone to the address that Father Jack found and are rifling through the bomber's apartment. Kyle's not very subtle in his search and is throwing stacks of books on the floor and practically tossing "We Were Here" signs around just to tick off the FBI. He finally uncovers a clue. It's a detonator that is unequivocally from an Israeli bombmaker. Find the Mossad guy, find the Fifth Column. After seeing Munich every time I hear Mossad I picture Eric Bana. I'm not complaining. Erica then finds a map with two targets indicated; one was the Visitors' Visitor Center that is now in pieces, the other is an office building in midtown. Erica wants to call it in to evacuate the building, but Kyle thinks they should stake out the spot, wait for the bomber, and catch him in the act. Erica won't take the risk.
Father Jack is leading a prayer service at the memorial site where the bombing just took place. Ryan is there, too, because he has to stick close to his buddy or Erica will get mad. Anna watches from on high and notices Ryan noticing a woman crying hysterically. In that interaction Anna has a realization. She marches into her mother's dank little hole and demands to know if human emotion also gives them power. Diana just smirks, so Anna backhands her across the room. When Diana still won't talk, Anna shoves an immolation pill into her mouth. She spits it out but Anna has a whole handful and won't stop shoving them down her mom's throat until she gets some answers. Diana agrees to talk, but she wants something first.
Erica and Malik evacuated the office building and are now waiting for a suspicious person to do something suspicious so they can stop them. Erica suddenly realizes that Chad Decker's network is in the targeted building and then she decides that because Chad is Anna's earthly vessel and mouthpiece that he must be the actual target. She spies him autographing some old dude's underoos and then sees a lady ogling Chad. Since Chad is not ogle-worthy, Erica knows this woman must be the bomber. She runs in her sensible shoes that look like a pump but feel like a sneaker, hip checks Chad to the ground (for fun!), and then knocks the woman down too. Erica skillfully manages to knock the detonator out of the woman's grasp and stands on her hand. Her coat falls open revealing that the woman is packing a lot of explosives for your average trip to the office. Agent Malik and Chad stare at Erica in wonder, mostly because why did she knock Chad to the ground, exactly? Granted it looked fun.
Anna returns to her mother's hole ...that sounds dirtier than I meant it to sound, but let's just go with it. She presents Diana with what she requested: A necklace that somehow plays music in surround sound. Music starts cranking, or whatever the term is when it's classical music. Yo, that violin is ragin'! If the van's a-rockin' with flutes don't come a-knockin'. It would be more awesome if it was Lil Wayne, but I guess if you are talking about the existence of the human soul, classical is a better choice. Although James Brown, being the Godfather of Soul, would be the most appropriate. So Diana plays some beautiful music and talks about her first time hearing music and how its existence revealed to her humanity's unique endowment: The Soul.
Speaking of souls, just as Dear Abby always recommends, Ryan is talking to a trusted member of the clergy. This time he is voicing his doubts about the existence of his soul to Father Jack. Jack, however, has no doubt. He has so little doubt that he is practically Gwen Stefani. If Ryan didn't have a soul then he wouldn't feel bad about Val's death or about his kidnapped baby or anything. Then we flashback back and forth between Diana and Father Jack trying to explain what a soul is to the very scientific minds of Anna and Ryan. Diana opts for the cultural proof: Music, emotion, poetry, beauty. Father Jack just argues that feelings and the soul are more or less the same thing. No one mentions Motown. Now that Anna knows what and generally where a soul is, she is going to pry it out of people like it's an ingrown toenail and she is an angry Vietnamese pedicurist who knows she is not getting a tip.
No.2 gets an update on the bombings from the V version of a CSI agent. In short they couldn't get a fingerprint, but they did find some fibers that were only sold to nine U.S. companies, only one of which is on the East Coast. The owner is Israeli, ex-Mossad, and in a lot of trouble. No. 2 tells the CSI to call Agent Malik and have him bring the guy to the ship pronto.
Down on Earth, Agent Malik gets a text with the pertinent information and begs off from interviewing the attempted bomber. Erica and the bossman head into the interrogation room to try and break the librarian from Queens turned suicide bomber. The woman claims she had to take action against the Vs. She knows what they are up to and their lives are in jeopardy. The bossman is unimpressed and demands Answers! Now! The woman won't talk, but when the boss is doing his best Bella Swan impersonation and is moodily staring out the window, Erica pulls up her hair and reveal
s the V-shaped scar that shows her affinity for cutting and her allegiance to the Fifth Column. The woman starts being much more helpful. She claims she never met any other members of the Fifth Column, because all their interactions were online. When the time came for her to strap one on, she was picked up in a van, blindfolded and taken somewhere that might be near a river. Erica takes that clue and runs to call Kyle. He's been playing Encyclopedia Brown (which is kind of a sad state of affairs when Kyle is the brains of the operation) and has a list of ex-Mossad agents. Yes, one of them does have a warehouse on the water, why does she ask? Erica tells him to meet her there.
Kyle is already wandering the dusty rows when Agent Malik gets there. She hears something and lies in wait for Kyle. Luckily he is gun clairvoyant or got a camera installed in the back of his head like this guy or something and knows she has a gun trained on him. He lunges for it and knocks her unconscious. Then he sees her badge and runs for it. Malik wakes up and starts shooting, but Kyle is gone. She then reaches up inside her face and pulls out a loose bone shard. Basically, Vs are gross and should never be invited to cocktail parties. I mean, who does that? Kyle runs smack into Erica, who has just arrived, and they tussle before she recognizes him and he tells her that Malik is there, too. She tells him to split before Malik realizes they are working together. Kyle runs off, leaving Erica alone with Agent Malik, who at this point is probably chewing her fingernails and spitting them on the floor or wiping bogeys on the walls.
Up on the Mothership, Anna reveals her new plan: She orders Joshua to make Ryan's baby sick. She doesn't care what the kid has -- toe fungus, St. Vitus dance, the croup -- just something that will make the baby cry incessantly. So ...he's going to give the baby gas? Or just not let it hold his car keys for a minute? Frankly, making a baby cry is not that hard. Not that I've tried or anything, really, but c'mon, children cry all the time. That's why they couldn't run for Congress until John Boehner paved the way. But, seriously, Anna, THAT is your plan? Make the baby cry? Why don't you just make it watch this show?
Meanwhile, down on earth Ryan and Father Jack are still on their "Mindwalk" reboot at the church when Ryan falls to the ground to pray? To beg Father Jack to stop trying to convert him to Catholicism? I guess that's par for the course if you pal around with priests, though. I mean, he was TOTALLY asking for it. So Ryan is down on bended knee when Anna's floating head appears to him in a shining white light. She pleads with him to accept her bliss and save his baby from, you know, crying. Ryan yells no, no, no because crying is pretty freaking normal and a floating white head is not.
Erica has called in the cavalry to the warehouse and they have uncovered the mother lode of DIY terrorism: blank passports, vests with bombs, detonators, mannequins, and not of the Kim Cattrall variety. Erica is convinced this was ground zero for the Fifth Column, but before she can complete her thought her phone rings. It's Kyle. He tries to get her to play a guessing game, but she's kinda sorta busy right now. He sighs that she is SUCH a party pooper and then tells her that he found the successful suicide bomber's car and he had a GPS with a different address in Ossining. By the way, Kyle wears really skinny jeans, which seems... odd. Erica hangs up and her boss calls her over to look at some invoices with an Ossining address. He wants her to go check it out, and he wants her to take Malik with her. Talk about a party pooper!
Elsewhere, Chad Decker is editing his own footage... wait, is that normal in the news industry? That the anchorman edits the film, too? That seems unlikely what with the existence of editors and all. Anyway he spies something in the film and does not like what he sees at all. He gets his panties in a bunch and marches on over to the church because yelling at a priest is a good way to make yourself feel better. He hollers, "I thought I was part of the team!" Father Jack reminds him that according to the bible and/or Successories, which are the same for some people, there is no "I" in "Team", but what is Chad going on about? Chad reminds Father Jack that he almost got himself 'sploded today and that means they are not playing on the same team. Father Jack agrees, but denies any involvement in those 'splosions. The resistance he is part of would NEVER blow up innocents... or humans. Except for dead humans, but that's a story for a different time.
Chad sighs with the burden of a man about to do the right thing and not at all used to it: He tells Father Jack that Erica is in trouble. On the tape, he saw Agent Malik steal part of the bomb and hand it over to No. 2. He's pretty sure that is outside the scope of FBI regulations and Erica is probably going to be killed. I'm not quite buying the leap in logic there, Chad, but it does make a nice segue to Erica driving in her car in the dark with Malik. Ossining never seemed so far. Malik makes fake small talk in the car and Erica lies to her and then Erica makes fake small talk back and lies to her. Erica notices blood stains on Malik's shirt and remembers seeing blood on the floor of the warehouse. Malik sees her notice and then pulls a gun on her and tells her to pull over. Then: Divine Intervention. Father Jack calls Erica, distracting Malik momentarily. Erica makes a sharp left and the car flips over. Is everyone dead? Was that god's plan?
Ryan sits alone in his hotel (?) room when Anna beams in. She holds his crying daughter. She explains that the girl is crying and in pain. Ryan shrugs, did she change her diaper, feed her? Did she burp her? Did she get in the car and drive around the block five times? Anna looks vexed and says, NO. The baby is crying because it is sick, not because it is a baby. Pay attention. Ryan continues: Did you pat her bottom? Did you sing that one lullaby? Did you try the baby swing? What about the rocker? Anna blurts: NO. The baby is crying because it is sick and only my Bliss can help it. It is NOT crying just because it is a baby. Focus! Ryan rolls his eyes and asks what Anna is going on about. Anna smiles, hands the baby to someone else, and tells him that the baby is sick and only her Bliss can save it. He rolls his eyes again, because he knows that, woman! Anna tells him he has no soul, will never have a soul, and only she can make him happy on the inside. A tear rolls down Ryan's cheek as he tells Anna not to let the girl suffer, he'll do whatever the heck she wants. Just don't feed the baby inorganic produce! Anna smiles coldly and hangs up on Ryan. She finds Joshua and tells him everything she knows about the soul. He promises to root it out and crush it like a stuffed animal under the weight of an Ugg. Anna is beaming with pride when she reports to her mother that the chief medical officer is preparing to remove the soul like it's nothing more than an ugly neck mole. Diana smirks that it won't be that easy. Besides, soon Anna will feel the sting of her daughter's betrayal, it's inevitable. Much like it is inevitable that this show will not be around year. Aw snap. Or something.
Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates is pretty sure you could destroy souls by making them watch this show for eternity. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!