In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
A raggedy-looking guy stumbles across the twisted, mangled legs of Lisa in an alley, and immediately calls for help. Erica and Agent Malik called down to the V healing center, where they get an eyeful of Lisa's injuries, including a split lip and jagged "V" carved in her cheek, and Erica finally finds out that Lisa is a V. Lisa gives descriptions of her attackers, and the pictures Agent Malik comes up with are of a nerdy scientist type... and Kyle Hobbes. Eventually, Anna shows up and fawns over Lisa, and Erica finally finds out that her son's girlfriend is Anna's daughter. Anna has Lisa's legs fixed, but parades her facial injuries at a press conference, announcing that the Vs will be leaving, and even sending the Hong Kong ship away to show she's serious. Joshua and Erica meet face to face, and tells Erica that Anna broke her daughter's legs herself.
Hobbes has clearly been framed by the Vs, and Erica's boss wants to go after him, but Erica convinces him they aren't going to have any more luck than they've already had, so they end up focusing on the scientist, Parker. Erica gets there first, and finds out he was part of a think tank working on a deadly reptile virus, and that the man's six co-workers have all gone missing, as well as his research. The Vs clearly want him dead, and when he's brought in, it's revealed that the government has made a deal with the Vs -- they'll hand over anyone suspected of being Fifth Column, pre-trial, in exchange for blue technology. Also, they're staying. Erica tries to convince Lisa not to incriminate an innocent man, but Lisa goes through with it and identifies the scientist as her attacker, because Anna is scary. Throughout the episode, Anna and Erica speak entirely in veiled threats to each other.
Meanwhile, Chad Decker is being all pissy because Anna didn't use him to get her message out about the Vs leaving, so he uses his own initiative to go on TV and tell his viewers to let the government know that they want the Vs to stay and the Fifth Column to be eliminated. Good dog! By the end, he knows he was manipulated, though. Also, it turns out the reason the Vs want Kyle is because he was originally hired to kill Parker, but he passed on the assignment when the client didn't check out. And he actually went to Parker's place before Erica and took Parker's hard drive, which allows him to safely meet with Marcus, Anna's lieutenant, to offer an exchange -- the virus research for his name being cleared. Also, lots of money. Bastardo! -- Zach Oat
Want more? The full recap starts right below!An extra from Les Miserables stumbles out the stage into the alley behind the theater... oh wait, he's a REAL homeless man, he doesn't just play one on the stage. So a bum (is that still politically correct? or is residentially-challenged the preferred terminology?) wanders into an alley looking for a rat to cook up for din-din when he sees something horrifying in the trash. No, no, not Spencer Pratt, but something else that makes him call for help. It's Lisa. With her legs at very unnatural angles (for humans anyway) and a giant V carved into her face. With this intro I am fully expecting Lenny Briscoe to show up and start dishing out pithy one-liners. Can we just take a moment, not only for the lovely Jerry Orbach, but for the entire Law & Order: The Mothership show? I mean, that was the REAL mothership, may it rest in peace and syndication. As you may remember from last week, Anna proved herself an even colder-hearted snake than Paula Abdul could ever have imagined and ordered a hit on her own darling daughter just to make the Fifth Column look bad. So now Lisa is lying in an alley reenacting her favorite scene from Law & Order.
Agent Erica and V Agent Malik are briefed on the details of the attack. Lisa was attacked leaving the Visitors' Visitor Center and she was told "the Fifth Column doesn't want you here, leave or we kill you all", which Erica considers subtle, but I see as entirely appropriate. Also, true. Erica and Malik peer into the room at the Visitors' Healing Center where they have the victim and Erica gasps when she sees it is Lisa. She quickly explains to Malik that Lisa is her son's girlfriend. Malik inquires whether Erica knew Lisa was a Visitor and Erica quickly says no, so Malik asks if her son knew. Wait. What? Why wouldn't Erica know that Lisa was a Visitor? And why would she pretend otherwise? I mean, if her son was dating a V wouldn't that make her seem open-minded and V sensitive and stuff? Well, Erica is either really stupid or just lying like a rug and her pants are at imminent risk of a flare up. Malik looks at her sideways, but Erica marches into the room where Lisa is lying in just her underwear and does her best Benson to Malik's Stabler. Erica covers up Lisa with a sheet and then actually flips into full-on mom-mode and pushes Lisa's hair back from her face, hugs her gently, and almost tears up looking at the damage done to the pretty girl. Erica asks if she recognized the attacker and Lisa flashes back to her mom slamming her in the face and ordering her guards to break Lisa's legs. Obviously Lisa doesn't admit this because she is so ashamed. She shakes her head no and Erica holds her head gently and promises to find the bad people who did this. Lisa looks sad and then almost relieved to be held by a mother. Any mother. Up on the Mothership, Anna watches Erica comfort her daughter. She tells No. 2 and Joshua that she needs to descend to earth because her daughter needs her. She tells Joshua to fix Lisa's broken legs, but to leave the rest of the damage so the world can see what the Fifth Column did to her baby girl. She smirks as she reminds them that a picture is worth a thousand words. For someone with no emotions, she sure has a well-developed sense of evil irony. Also, enough with the smirking. I'm sure you skin sack can make other movements.
At the Fab Four's underground luxury lair, Kyle is cleaning his guns or something and watching the news when he sees his face flash on the screen. The sketch artist's rendition of Lisa's attacker is pretty spot on. Kyle best be finding some shaving gear pretty quick.
Meanwhile, Chad Decker is hard at work on something or other when one of his obviously jealous coworkers finds him with a television in tow. The guy turns on the TV to show Chad the news and in an attempt to act casual, tosses his elbow up on the screen and damn near knocks the whole thing over. Were they really so time crunched that they couldn't re-shoot that one? The guy wants Chad to see the news about Lisa's attack. When Chad knows nothing about it, the guy joshes him over getting fired as Anna's mouthpiece. Chad looks troubled. Oooh Chad is totally getting called to the Visitors' HR Department.
Father Jack is stunned that his church is full an hour before mass. I guess he doesn't realize that Law & Order has been cancelled and people are praying for Dick Wolf's immortal soul. Oh yeah, also the attack on the Visitor has riled the hearts of the saved and they are praying for her soul, in case she has one. Like, if there was, say, a gypsy curse that gave her a soul and won't ever let her find true happiness. They are praying for that. Father Jack is very concerned that his congregation is spending more time praying for the Visitors' putative souls than they are spending praying for their own. He thinks they are becoming overly dependent on the Visitors. The nameless Old Padre thinks that their parishioners have opened their hearts to the Vs and maybe Jack should try the same thing.
Agent Malik who is definitely playing Hooch to Erica's Turner, hands Erica some mug shots pulled based on Lisa's description of her attackers. Obviously it looks just like Kyle. Erica asks Lisa if those were the men who attacked her and Lisa hesitates for a second thinking that Anna actually looks less like Kyle and more like Michael Cera. Erica plays Regis Philbin and asks her if that is her final answer. Before Lisa can change her mind, Anna shows up at the clinic door. She has glycerin tears in her eyes and a sad little face. She rhetorically asks what they have done to her daughter? Erica has a serious oh shit look on her face like she had no idea her son was dating the president's daughter, just like in Chasing Liberty! Anna goes up to Lisa and mimics what she saw Erica do and gingerly holds her head. Obviously she can't help but smirk just a little.
Erica and Anna sit down for a brief interview. Anna can't believe the world is filled with such horrors. She claims she never wanted her daughter's identity known for fear something like this would happen. Naturally, Erica keeps her face blank as Anna unleashes her unfair tirade on humanity. Having lost most of her ability to act after her stint on Lost has actually been a boon for Erica's FBI career. Girl never lets an emotion sully her investigation. Erica shows Anna the pictures of Kyle and some other schlub who I don't recognize and asks if she has ever seen either of them before. Anna shakes her head no, so Erica knows something is up since the Vs fingered Kyle for, like, everything except global warming, which the rest of the stupid humans did themselves. (Kyle is secretly a big environmentalist and hasn't used a can of Aqua Net since 1989.) Anna tells Erica that Lisa was on her way to visit Tyler when she was attacked, does Tyler know about the incident? Erica nods that she told Tyler and he is very upset. Wait. Does Anna not know that Lisa dumped Tyler on his annoying pimpled ass? I guess she wouldn't. Obviously Erica's face gives nothing away as she admits that Lisa and Tyler are quite fond of each other. Then the room gets even more tense as mother eyes mother warily while pretending they are on the same side and almost friends. (Kind of like a Mary Kay sales event when one saleswoman wants to bring Satin Hands to the world and the other is pushing Facial Highlighting Pens.) Anna asks Erica mother to mother if she understands her pain and Erica promises that, as a mother, if anyone was looking to harm her son, she would do anything to protect him. In fact, she would do whatever it takes to save all the children of the world from harm. Erica and Anna keep up their emotionless maternal pretenses for another minute and then break for Oreos and tea in Styrofoam cups.
In the underground lair, Father Jack and Ryan question Kyle about why the Vs have framed him two times in two weeks. They are pretty sure the Vs didn't just pluck his name out of a space hat. Kyle swears he has no idea why the Vs hate him so much, but you can tell he is just a little proud that his reputation precedes him to the far corners of the universe. That said, he is pretty sure the Vs are more interested in the other guy. You see, four weeks ago, somebody hired Kyle to kill that guy. (They must have looked him up in the Yellow Pages under 'Mercenary'.) Cut to FBI HQ where Erica is filling in her task force and her boss on the assault. She explains that the other guy, Parker, is a scientist who went into hiding four weeks ago. Perhaps when he was bitten by a radioactive spider and started shooting web out of his palms. Malik talked to his company and they claim that he didn't take any of his research with him. Bossman tries to steer the hunt back to Kyle. He really thinks the fact that Kyle was involved in both the attack against Lisa and the exploded warehouse means he is up to something. No good, probably. Since Erica thinks Bossman is a Visitor and because she knows Kyle, she is skeptical of his motivation. She points out that they have been looking for Kyle for weeks with no luck. They should focus their investigation on Parker, who is a civilian and probably easier to trace. Bossman consents to redirecting the investigation. Erica leaves the war room to do a victory lap around the office and spots Tyler. He wants to know about the investigation into the attack on Lisa. Erica swears Lisa will be okay and offers to let Tyler see her. Tyler: SHE DUMPED YOU. You should be cutting her face out of pictures and making veiled threats on Facebook. Tyler apologizes for not mentioning to his mom that his girlfriend is a Visitor and Erica shrugs because at least Tyler is talking to her now. And for some reason she likes that.
Erica takes Tyler to see Lisa and when he walks into the room at the clinic Lisa shrinks in embarrassment. Probably because she is mid-medical treatment and, really, no matter how much you like your boyfriend, do you really want him to see you legs up at the doctor's? She tells Tyler that she didn't want him to see her like that, but he ignores her because he's in lurve. Joshua, who is personally tending to Lisa's injuries, excuses himself to not get in the way of all the Feelings. In the hallway while he and Erica watch the little interspecies love fest, Joshua quietly introduces himself. I guess there are no cameras in the hallways? And Joshua doesn't have an embedded jacket cam? Erica is so happy to meet him, but her face is blank, natch. Joshua quickly tells her that the two men Lisa identified are innocent; Anna did this to her. Erica is shocked at the Mommy Dearest depths to which Anna will sink to frame the Fifth Column. Joshua doesn't exactly know why Anna did this, but he thinks the two men have answers and Erica needs to find them. Meanwhile, Lisa is quickly un-dumping Tyler. She apologizes for saying she didn't want to see him anymore and that she didn't feel the same way as he did. She was just scared of her new Feelings because she's never felt this way about anyone before. Tyler swears he has never felt like this before either. Someone puts a dime in the jukebox and "I Think We're Alone Now" starts up slowly. Tyler and Lisa forget their mom's are watching and start making out. Erica asks Joshua if Tyler is in any danger and while he admits that Tyler was once just an assignment, now he thinks Lisa cares. Just then Anna breaks up the little love fest and Joshua quickly falls into line. Anna tells Lisa it is time, slips on her sensible matching flats and marches her out to a press conference. Lisa and Tyler have a miniature staring contest as she is pulled away from her mother. Sorry, show, I refuse to make a Romeo and Juliet reference, but mostly because that infernal Taylor Swift song will get stuck in my head and I will have to kill myself dead. Also, because you are hitting us over the head with it and STOP THAT, IT'S ANNOYING.
Outside the Healing Center a supportive crowd has gathered to listen to Anna's sad story. They are holding helpful signs that say things like "I Heart Vs" and others that simply have Anna's face. Is this what universal healthcare does? Create a loving, loyal, and devout following of happy patients willing to rally on your behalf at a moment's notice? Someone alert Nancy Pelosi! Because aside from healing the sick for free with their advanced medical marvels and providing Blue Balls to the Isle of Timbal, what else have the Vs done? Well, I guess they did prove that the alien conspiracy theorists weren't total nutjobs, so that probably garnered them a few fans on their Facebook page. Chad Decker is among the loyal and when he sees No. 2, he hails him. No. 2 acknowledges his existence, but doesn't let him into the kabal or through the velvet rope. He explains that Anna has been tied up and they have the situation under control, but won't give Chad anything else. Chad looks hurt and confused and when Anna comes out to address the crowd, Chad chases her like a puppy trying to get her attention. She ignores him. No. 2 asks her why they are cutting off Mr. Decker and Anna tersely explains that they will let him back in eventually. When they need him. When he stops piddling on the carpet and biting their ankles. The press conference starts and Anna has her most tear-filled, heart-felt face on. She explains to the (actually relatively small) gathered crowd and the cameras that there has been an attack on a Visitor. In fact, the attack was on her own daughter. She brings Lisa forward and everyone gasps at the tragedy. As instructed by Anna, Lisa does not make eye contact with anyone. She just stands there looking pitiful. No one seems to be asking why Anna and her advanced medical technology didn't just heal her daughter and instead is using the victim to promote her own cause. Anna steps back to the microphone and announces that between today's attack and yesterday's shuttle explosion, the Visitors do not feel safe on earth. The press conference is being aired all over earth and even into the Fab Four's underground lair. Anna announces that they have made their best efforts to make the people of earth love them, but due to the evil acts of the Fifth Column, they do not feel loved. So Anna has made a decision: They are leaving.
Later at the Underground Lair, Ryan swears that Anna is NOT leaving. Kyle agrees, the whole thing was just theater. Um, Kyle? If you watched any political talk shows you would know that the correct phrase is "Kabuki theater," not just regular old Broadway shows. No, obtuse Japanese dances dating from the Edo period featuring over-stylized moves and clown make up are the only appropriate analogy. Jesus, Kyle, don't you learn anything in mercenary school? Anyway, Kyle thinks Anna is just trying to win over the masses by sobbing on camera and showing her injured princess and making a big show of leaving. But they won't go. Ryan agrees and FINALLY points out that Anna could very easily have healed Lisa's injuries, but instead chose to use her as a prop. Erica tells them that Joshua said Anna beat her own daughter. Father Jack looks like he choked on a communion wafer at that, but Ryan coldly reminds him that Anna is NOT human and will happily beat her daughter to make a point. Erica really wants to figure out the connection between Kyle and Parker the scientist. Kyle suggests that Erica ask Tyler for some answers because maybe Lisa has mentioned something useful to him. Erica refuses to bring Tyler into their war, despite the rather obvious fact that Tyler is already knee deep in the war. You would think Erica would be a little more concerned that Anna "assigned" Lisa the task of roping in Tyler, but she doesn't seem to have processed that. Ryan begs her to reconsider, because look what happened to him and Val when he hid the truth from her. Erica manages to avoid pointing out that this tidbit of advice is the act opposite of the advice he gave her two weeks (day?) ago. She won't consider it and tells Kyle to use his underworld Rolodex to find Parker. Father Jack and Ryan will follow up on his leads.
Kyle meets with the same woman he met with before when he wanted information on the Fab Four. The woman dresses like a Washington D.C. housewife so she is probably a Visitor. Although I am working under the impression that everyone who appears on the show with no real context is actually a Visitor. Wait. Is that a spoiler? I don't get advance screeners of these episodes or anything, so if that's a spoiler, 1. I'm sorry, and 2. This show is stupid and underestimating their audience's intelligence. Kyle tells The Housewife (her spy name, obviously) that he was hired to kill Parker, but the person who hired him gave a fake name and a fake Social Security number. How was Kyle supposed to file a 1099 form with the IRS if he didn't have proper tax identification materials? Do you have any idea the tax liabilities of being a freelance mercenary? I mean, even after you write off the guns, plastique, missile launchers, and fake passports, they still tax your earnings at 70%. It's like you're living in Switzerland. The Housewife tells Kyle that he was right to be suspicious about the guy because he was definitely not a registered business with a proper tax ID number. She had better luck tracking down Parker. He is holed in a Chinatown apartment and smells like lo mein. Chicken lo mein. Kyle stakes out the apartment and when Parker leaves, Kyle breaks in. He digs around looking for something interesting on the scientist. He eventually finds his hidden laptop and pulls out the hard drive. He calls Erica and tells her where to find Parker. He doesn't mention the hard drive.
Chad Decker can seriously not take a hint. Even after Anna blatantly ignored him at the press conference and her No. 2 told him that she was not interested and Anna didn't answer any of his 42 phone calls, refused the roses, snubbed the box of chocolates, and refused to acknowledge his Facebook poke. So he hopped on a shuttle up to the Mothership and does his best Brando impersonation and screams, "ANNAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" No. 2 tries to knock some sense into him. Chad doesn't believe that the Visitors are leaving. He thinks they are just putting on a show, Kabuki theater perhaps. No.2 explains that they have no choice what with the Fifth Column acting up. Chad swears he can help them, rally his public, force the government to act. Hey Chad? As a putative journalist with a particular interest in the Visitors, how do you not know that the FBI has formed a Fifth Column Task Force? No.2 remains unconvinced that Chad as a [laughably] ethical journalist could possibly editorialize on the news of the Vs leaving. Wouldn't he be fired for reporting the news with a bias? Chad busts up laughing because if he hasn't been fired from the network by now for promoting all things V, they sure aren't going to start now. No. 2 leaves Chad to ponder whether he is willing to risk his job to promote the cause of the Visitors. No.2 asks Anna again why they are leaving Chad out in the cold like a naughty puppy and Anna explains that they need him to be desperate. Once he is full of pain and angst at the prospect of an ordinary life, he will mobilized his devout public against the Fifth Column. I keep trying to replace Chad Decker with Katie Couric and seeing if this storyline makes any sense and, well, no, it doesn't. I mean while people watch and like Katie, I can't really imagine Americans picking up arms and fighting terrorism at her request. Anna remains convinced that this will happen. To tighten the screws, she orders the Shanghai ship to leave immediately. Over in Shanghai, the ship takes off, causing an adorable little stereotype to spill his rice bowl.
Chad takes about five minutes to toss aside his journalistic integrity and bring a soap box to his broadcast. After the ship leaves, Chad takes to the airways and urges the citizens of America to make their voices heard and to make their government take action to keep the Vs on earth. You see, he can't pretend to be unbiased, because dammit he is biased! He wants the Vs to stay. They saved Future Chad and they could save you! Does this mean Chad is going to be fired? Anna watches his broadcast and smirks at her evil genius to get Chad to express an opinion on air. Um... yeah, that was hard. Did she really think she had to try that hard to get Chad to express an opinion on air? Or that people would be surprised he was pro Visitor? Whatever. This storyline is silly.
Ryan and Father Jack are staking out Parker's Chinatown apartment. As they are sitting in close proximity in the car, Father Jack just can't help but notice that Ryan has the sads. Ryan explains that Val taught him how to love, but he doesn't know how to suffer through a break up. These Feelings things hurt! Father Jack tells him to have Faith. No one knows how to see the light at the end of a break up. Only Faith gets you through the dark times. Well, faith, clove cigarettes, Camus, bourbon, and The Cure on repeat. Erica interrupts their car confessional. Just then Ryan spots Parker who has decided that the best disguise is simply an Old Navy fisherman's hat and not to remove his rather identifiable horn-rimmed glasses. I guess no one ever says scientists are smart. Erica goes after him. She holds her badge up to the apartment's peephole and explains that she knows he is scared, but she can help. He lets her in only to exclaim his innocence while he packs. Erica doesn't get it, if he is innocent, why is he running? He knows he isn't safe and that his location has been compromised. Someone broke into his apartment and stole his hard drive. Erica looks perplexed. She asks Parker what he was working on. The Vs framed him for a reason and she is pretty sure it has something to do with his research. He quickly summarizes that he was working on a product to help stop global warming. It was an algae, but they stopped their research when they noticed it was producing a toxic side effect. It had created a potentially fatal virus that affected sea life and amphibians. Erica has to hold back a giggle when she asks about reptiles. Parker thinks it would kill them too. Erica has him write down the names of all the people he worked with, because Parker only has his share of the research. Or he did until Kyle swiped it. Father Jack calls Erica because the FBI is on their way up and she has to scoot. She promises Parker that she will do everything she can to help him, but right now she has to kick in him in the nuts and handcuff him. She wrestles him to the ground just as her team from the FBI kicks in the door. Erica acts surprised (well, surprised-ish) and claims she was about to call for back up. What are they all doing there? Malik and Bossman explain that they got a tip from the restaurant across the street, but they are surprised to see her there too. Erica claims that she got the same tip they got. Malik looks rather suspicious. Wouldn't Malik and Bossman have called Erica the supposed leader of the taskforce? Guess not.
At FBI HQ, Erica and Malik are working in the war room when Parker walks by and makes "save me!" eyes at Erica who pretends not to notice. Luckily Bossman comes in just then with a report straight from Washington. The Visitors aren't leaving! Washington entrapped them in red tape until they agreed to form a taskforce. So now their taskforce is a joint taskforce with the Visitors. The Vs will share technology and the FBI will share their intelligence. Erica strangely has no qualms about voicing her doubts about this new joint taskforce, but Bossman doesn't care. This request comes all the way from the President of the United States via carrier pigeon and that's just the way it is going to be. Erica harrumphs extra loud when Bossman explains that all prisoners will be remanded to V custody for interrogation, starting with Parker, just as soon as Lisa identifies him as her assailant. Erica retires to her office to look up the names of the scientists Parker gave her. Obviously all of them have gone missing. Erica calls Ryan, Jack, and Kyle and tells them the situation. She knows she can't let the Visitors get Parker. She decides the only thing to do is try to convince Lisa to switch teams. Father Jack doesn't understand why Erica is suddenly willing to risk Tyler and potentially put herself onto Anna's radar, but Erica has finally gotten around to realizing that Anna was using her son. So she's going to use her daughter. Just then Anna, Lisa, and No. 2 show up. Erica asks to speak to Lisa alone for a few moments to "prep her" for all the Feelings that come from confronting her attacker. Anna consents warily. Erica brings Lisa into her office and gives he a picture of Tyler to hold while she goes into the line up. She thinks the photo of her doofus will give Lisa strength to tell the truth about her attacker. Erica pulls Lisa away from Anna's prying eyes and begs Lisa to tell the truth and make sure not to condemn an innocent man. Lisa is about to break down, but Anna interrupts and takes her to the line up. The men file in and Erica reminds Lisa that she can see them, but they can't see her. Lisa looks at her like this is the most awesomest technology ever! The line up is a mish-mosh of men who look nothing alike and only one of them is wearing glasses. Any decent defense attorney could rip that line up to shreds and get the identification tossed out of evidence, so... um, well done, casting! Lisa stands in between Anna and Erica and looks from one to the other. Anna puts her arm around Lisa's shoulder and reminds her that she is there and not hitting for once, but if she fucks this up, broken legs for breakfast! Lisa points at Parker and says: That's the guy. Erica looks flabbergasted as she asks if Lisa is sure. Lisa nods, affirmative. Erica cannot believe that her heart to heart with Lisa failed so spectacularly. Anna smirks happily as they leave. Man, Erica is really pulling a Chad Decker today. Just voicing her opinion all over the damn place and in front of Anna. Not super smooth. As Anna and Lisa prepare to leave FBI headquarters, Erica stands in the main room flexing her fingers and pacing. Anna stops to thank her for all her hard work in catching the criminal who so savagely hurt her daughter. Erica smiles blandly and shrugs, 'cause really, what the fuck do you say to that when you know Anna did it herself? Erica then swallows her pride and tells Anna that catching the Fifth Column is her top priority. Anna smiles that they will undoubtedly cross paths again. Erica assures her of it. They spend the few minutes staring at each other warily and trying to figure out who is lying and who is just a lousy actress. Erica ends up promising she's not going anywhere and Anna promises she's not going anywhere and no one ever calls Chicken and yeah. I think we can all agree that Erica is firmly on Anna's radar.
Back at the Underground Lair, Kyle has gotten a bit bored being cooped up inside hiding from the Visitors and has decided to prank call them. Or at least, I think it's them. Although I'm not quite sure where he would have gotten their phone number. And, really, did they get landlines installed on the ships? Anyway, Kyle has downloaded all of Parker's research and is willing to sell it to the highest bidder. Auction starts on eBay in 20 minutes.
Chad Decker is just so pleased with himself that he rushes right up to the Mothership to see if Anna will give him a Milk Bone for his little trick. While he waits for an audience with her majesty, he watches a news report on the Visitors' decision to stay. The reporter credits the decision to public outcry after Chad Decker's soapbox appeal. Chad looks rather smug but then glances at his watch waiting for Anna. Anna finally shows up and Chad immediately starts in with the guilt trip asking why she didn't return any of his phone calls, texts, IMs or tweets. Anna coldly points out that she had other things on her mind today, namely the assault on her daughter. Maybe he remembers that? Chad is duly chastened, but also bitter. Anna thanks him for making his opinion on the need for the Vs known and Chad quickly deduces that Anna shut him out just so he would make a public plea. Which still doesn't make any sense, but whatever, I give up. I'm not suspending disbelief, but I'm just not caring. Anna smiles prettily and claims she was just looking out for her people. But! She does have a little favor to ask. Can little Chaddy Waddy Pookie Poo maybe give her the name of his source pretty please if she bats her eyelids a little? Chad harrumphs and reminds her that he is a man of journalistic integrity. Anna does not even bother not laughing at that. She glares and reminds Chad that he has already compromised his ethics once today. What's once more? Chad doesn't like to be reminded that he is a schmuck. That's why he never looks in the mirror more than five times a day.
Chad and Ryan are hanging out in their man cave, watching some ball, drinking some brews, plotting the downfall of the Visitors while Kyle quietly keeps an eye on the old eBay auction. Kyle finally notices that Ryan is feeling pretty low. Obviously Kyle is not concerned about Ryan's actual Feelings, but rather whether they will distract him from blowing shit up when necessary. Ryan belches, smashes a beer can on his head, and swears he's fine but doesn't want to talk about it. Kyle sees that this is a Teaching Moment and tells Ryan that Feelings come with great reward but also great responsibility. He has to make sure to swallow them up and never ever let them out or they will be used against him. Oh great, Ryan, take relationship advice from a priest and an assassin. Good choices, Ry guy.
Up on the Mothership, Anna brings Lisa into the hot tub nursery to look at all her new brothers and sisters. Anna congratulates Lisa on a job well done today. Not only did she convince Tyler that she loved and needed him, but she got Agent Erica to feel maternal towards her. As the head of the Fifth Column Task Force, Erica is a huge asset for them. Lisa smiles at her mom's approval and asks, you won't hit me anymore Mommy? You love me again, mommy? Anna smiles but doesn't answer. Lisa promises to keep Erica close and make her believe that her feelings for her are real. Anna smiles and Lisa wanders off to talk to Joshua. She nervously asks Joshua, "If the soldiers are allowed to hatch, they will destroy the Fifth Column, won't they?" Joshua nods yes and now Lisa has the sads. Or a really great plan to win her mother's approval by turning in Joshua.
Erica gets home from work and before saying hello to her son she heads straight for the peanut butter. Nothing to wipe off the feeling of sending an innocent man to jail like a big old spoonful of creamy Jif. Tyler is watching the news report on the capture of Parker and Erica is name-checked as the lead investigator. Tyler says that she is a hero, but Erica's mouth is glued shut with peanut butter so she just shrugs. Ugh, Tyler is so uncomfortable and overacting it's like he takes an Awkward Pill before each scene. Just stop moving so damn much! Tyler explains that she is a hero to him for capturing the man who hurt Lisa. He loves her and hopes it's not all kinds of awkward that he's dating an alien. Erica thinks it is a little weird, but she promises to try and deal. She then apologizes to Tyler for being so wrong about the Visitors. He was right and she should have listened. She would like to get to know the Vs better, especially Anna and Lisa. Tyler is so thrilled to have Anna and Lisa over for an awkward family moment.
Anna is reading a book on her Kindle and laughing at the outdated technology when No. 2 comes in and reports that their fleet of warships is rapidly approaching and will soon be in human radar range. Anna tells him to hack the humans Kindle-operated radar systems and prevent the humans from seeing anything. No. 2 the V version of a Bad News Bear then tells Anna that the entire fleet is anxious about the Fifth Column. Anna decides to get naked and Bliss out the crew. As the fleet stands transfixed by their Queen's Bliss, Joshua and Lisa nod at each other. They are both immune to the Bliss now and this makes Joshua very happy. Down on earth, Ryan is definitely not in Bliss. He is staring moodily at a picture of him and Val. Just as Ryan's misery reaches it's apex and the big old bear just might break down and cry, he gets a message from Dr. Pearlman: Val's water broke. Speaking of being ready to pop, on the Mothership, the eggs are hatching.
A black SUV with tinted windows pulls up into a dark alley, Kyle steps out of the shadows. The back window rolls down and No. 2's pale face pops into view. Kyle wants to make a deal. He'll give No.2 all of Parker's research for the low low price of a clean slate with the Visitors. Well, that and a stack of dolla dolla bills, yo. No.2 agrees and he and Kyle have their dirty deal. Hopefully Kyle will remember he is human sometime in the middle of week's season finale.
Watch the episode here, discuss it in our forums, then refresh your V-knowledge with our guide to the A to Z of V.
See what made the cut in this list of TV's 50 most shocking moments ever.
Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.