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An earthquake rocks New York City (which isn't particularly exciting unless it's done in full CGI, and it wasn't), but the quakes are not plate tectonics in action, but alien motherships making an entrance. Anna, the face of their organization, claims they come in peace in search of communion and a mineral. The aliens are overjoyed to find out they are not alone in the universe and they are sorry for, you know, scaring the tuna salad out of everyone on the entire planet and causing the priest to question his calling. But since everyone needs religion in a time of aliens, at least the priest has job security. While the Vatican is on board with the Visitors as part of god's plan, the priest takes a more skeptical view, especially when the Vs start recreating the Biblical miracles. His doubts are solidified when a dying man shows up in his church and directs him to an underground group that is organizing against the V invasion. They know what the Visitors really want and they are fighting back.
The FBI agent formerly known as Juliet from Lost tries to juggle terrorist alerts, alien invasions and single motherhood. Gloria Steinem would be proud. While the rest of the world is learning all about aliens, she and her partner are sticking with their day jobs and tracking a terrorist cell. They unearth a stockpile of C4 and track the clues to a group of conspiracy theorists. The group believes the Vs have been on Earth for years, have reptile faces, and embedded themselves into every level of government, faith and life in order to foment unrest. Once the world is full of strife, the Vs swoop in and offer peace, tranquility, and, er… universal health care. Well, if Congress can't do it, I guess the Vs are the best choice. Agent Erica doesn't believe any of it until the priest shows the hard-won proof of Vs amongst us. Agent Erica hasn't been tracking a terrorist cell, but a sleeper cell of Vs.
Unbeknownst to her, Agent Erica's teenage son gets tickets to tour the mothership and ends up falling for a mother of a hot alien. Hormones are universal, apparently. And so are cults. The alien hottie encourages him to join the Vs' "Peace Ambassador Program," and brainwashes him into thinking that tagging "V" all over the place is an awesome way to spread their message. You would have thought they would do better market research about what earthlings find annoying.
And Scott Wolf makes his triumphant return to television as an intrepid reporter who discovers the Visitors have an important and valuable characteristic: a sense of flirting. More importantly, Anna, the lead alien, takes a personal interest in him. She offers him a private one-on-one… interview on national television. Things go badly when his journalistic integrity is put on the line. But he's only about 70% ethical, and he swaps that in exchange for easy fame and a direct line to the V front office.
Before the secret meeting can progress and form a plan, the Vs launch a surprise attack, killing everyone in sight. It's a brutal scene, and Agent Erica struggles for a gun while the priest gets in a few good whacks. The leader of the group has been trying to get his friend Ryan to join the resistance, and he does, but when Ryan reveals he is a rebel V, no one knows what to think. When Agent Erica's partner shows up, she's relieved to see him, until he chokes the relief right out of her. Guess he's the one who's been tipping off the sleeper cell. Also, he has reptile skin under his face.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Our delightful redux of the celebrated 80s mini-series starts off with a question: Where were you when JFK was shot? Watching Mad Men, obviously. And then another question: Where were you on 9/11? In New York City, nothing funny about that. And then another: Where were you this morning? Well, since you asked...I woke up in a gutter in Dubai, which isn't as bad it sounds because in Dubai, gutters are lined with down comforters and masseuses. It is 6:30 in the morning and our trusty leading FBI agent is still in bed. What, our tax dollars can't pay you to get up by 6 a.m.? Crime doesn't sleep, agent, and neither should you. Where's your work ethic, missy? This is America and you are her representative. Elizabeth Mitchell (more notably known as Juliet from Lost) plays the lazy narcoleptic FBI agent and she only deigns to open her eyes when the bed starts a-rockin'. She wakes up and goes to ask her son if he felt (or caused) the tremor. He is a boy after all. Unfortunately, her son is not there to play scapegoat so Ms. Mitchell should investigate her own diet (and maybe re-consider picking the tostada bar at the Sizzler for lunch). She calls her son to yell at him and he is brave enough to answer her phone call despite the fact that he didn't go home. She is going to feel so bad when she finds out he's in the hospital and she's yelling.
Over at the friendly neighborhood church, the priest opens the doors and greets the homeless who are sleeping there because he is a Man of God and loves all. Even the stinky ones. Know what he does not love? Tremors. Because they are rather obvious intimations that the End of Days is nigh and he still hasn't seen the Brewers win the World Series. So obviously he has displeased the Lord God Almighty somehow. Meanwhile, Scott Wolf makes his triumphant return to television and simultaneously showers and appears on television as reporter Chad Decker. He is a serious journalist. You can tell because he is reporting on foreclosures and not even Ryan Seacrest does that. He opens the shower door and the camera cuts to a different door opening before giving us even the slightest soupcon of Scott Wolf's freshly-showered self. Cruel and unusual behavior if you ask me. The new door opens to Morris Chestnut buying a ring at a jeweler's. We see a photo of him squeezing the girl from ER and 24 who is not quite famous enough for me to know her real name, but definitely qualifies as a "Hey It's That Girl!" She has a lot of books open, so obviously she is a student. Or Bob Cratchit. She has no focus, though, because the second the ground starts shaking, she gets distracted. You'll never make the Dean's List with that attention span, missy!
Intrepid reporter Chad has made it to the office. Upon arrival he finds out that his latest pitch was assigned to another reporter and in that one instant we realize that Chad has a lot in common with Deborah Norville in that he is a frustrated journalist whose pretty face has pigeonholed him as a news reader, when he really aspires to hardcore investigative reporting. Hmm wonder where that story line is going to go? Well, what it lacks in subtlety it makes up for in force -- like a frying pan of foreshadowing to the face.
FBI Agent Erica Evans is throwing on her clothes and running down the stairs while simultaneously yelling at her son who is still in the hospital. He apparently snuck out to crash a party in Soho...wait. This is New York? The FBI agent has a two-story well-lighted townhouse in New York City? How much of our tax dollars do g-men rake in each month? And where can I get an application? Also, Agent Erica's son, Tyler, is in the hospital talking on an iPhone. This would never happen in New York City, because AT&T has the worst cell phone reception in NYC and anytime you walk indoors you lose your signal, so the idea that he is inside a hospital in NYC talking on an iPhone is ludicrous. You may think I am overreacting to this small detail, but if this is the level of realism they are going to give us, I am already skeptical. Just then a huge earthquake hits the city. Agent Erica screams into her phone for her son. The short-attention span student jumps up from her chair and blocks the bookcase with her body. Frankly, in front of a bookcase is pretty much the second to last place I would want to stand in an earthquake. The last place I would want to stand during an earthquake is under a giant anvil of symbolism, like the unlucky guy at the church who is almost crushed to death by the fall of Jesus. Were it not for the quick reflexes of the stalwart priest the wheelchair-bound parishioner would have been martyred. By the way, do you get it? Huh huh? Do you get the whole Jesus falling thing? I bet you do. Out on the streets, things are heating up: Morris Chestnut (we don't know his name yet) sees a fighter plane making a fireball of a crash landing, which he skillfully outruns and escapes without a single shrapnel injury. We see the unconscious (dead?) pilot parachute to the ground and not move. Then a dark shadow is cast across a skyscraper. Agent Erica is coming for her son, but he can't hear her because AT&T has finally dropped the call, which gives me hope for the show. A man hops on a motorcycle and starts driving as quickly as he can, destination unknown. Everyone rushes out onto the streets to try and figure out what is going on. A giant space ship has appeared in the sky. It looks like a stingray, minus the tail. Everyone is clutching each other and staring up. Over at the television studios, the staff has crowded onto the roof for a better view. People are running and scared and looking for answers. The person on the motorcycle is Tyler, Agent Erica's son. He is stopped by a blockade of soldiers. The presence of soldiers and the crashed fighter plane means that the government probably already knew about the ships' arrival. Sure enough over at the student's house, Chad Decker reports on the television that the fighter jets that went to intercept the ships all experienced complete electrical failures. He also tells us that there are 29 ships stationed all over the globe. The student is trying to call "Ryan", so I suppose that is Morris Chestnut's name. He walks in and they hug and try to figure out what is going on.
At the military's barrier, Agent Erica is flashing her badge trying to get past the soldier who is guarding the border. He won't let her in no matter how many times she points out that she is an FBI agent. Dick. Luckily, a fight breaks out and with a quick thanks to the adrenaline-fueled fighter guys, Erica slips through while the soldier's attention is distracted. She wanders the street yelling for her son. As soon as they find each other, which was really quick considering how, you know, BIG New York City is, something starts happening on the ship. Erica grabs her teenage son and shoves him behind her protectively, which is sweet, if pointless. The ship is transforming itself, with parts moving and lights shining. The question on everyone's mind: Is it an Autobot or a Deception? The ship has become a screen and Morena Baccarin's beautiful face smiles down on the earthlings. She sweetly asks everyone to not be frightened, because despite their ominous size, shape, and arrival, they mean no harm. She explains that they are very sorry for the trouble their arrival caused. This is a momentous day. They thought they were the only intelligent life in the universe and they are delighted to find out otherwise. The alien mouthpiece that is Morena Baccarin introduces herself as Anna. She explains that they are far from home and they need help, particularly water and a mineral, which is "common and abundant" on earth. (She doesn't mention that this "mineral" is probably generated inside the eyeballs of infants and kittens.) We see that the alien broadcast is being simulcast in different languages at some of the globe's top tourist destinations including the Eiffel Tower, the pyramids, the Mall of America, and the statue of Jesus in Rio de Janeiro, which managed to not crumble un
der the weight of symbolism. Anna continues that in exchange for water and this yet-unnamed mineral, they will share their advanced technology with the earthlings. Hopefully it's one of those food generators that they had on Star Trek: The Generation, because that was awesome and I would totally sacrifice my mineral stores for one of those. Fried chicken, pad thai, tacos, and Fluffernutters on demand? I'm not even a stoner and I still say yes please! Anna promises that as soon as they replenish their stores, they will leave, and hopefully leave the Earth better than it was before. She explains that they will be meeting with world leaders (stop bragging, lady) to discuss the plan. Until then, they are at peace, always. Her beautiful face smiles beatifically down upon the hapless and scared denizens of earth, before disappearing. The jaded and street-smart New Yorkers all start clapping. As if.
The priest we know walks with an older priest we do not know. The young priest is expressing his doubts that God's love extends to space aliens. The older priest reminds him to have faith not only in God, but also their trusted leaders who have all jumped on board the alien bandwagon. And if he doesn't like it Jack (the younger priest) is welcome to call up the Vatican and complain. Jack's eyes widen at the thought of the infallibility of the Pope, who apparently has already issued some 'aliens are alright' decree. Jack still has doubts about how god and extraterrestrial life can co-exist, revealing that he hasn't watched nearly enough Battlestar Galactica. The older priest plots how best to martyr Jack before he can let the creeping doubt interfere with his ministry. Jack points out that their ministry consists of two hookers and a heroin addict, but the old priest quietly points into the church: every single seat is filled and people are still pouring into the church. You gotta have faith-a faith-a faith. Heh heh, now you all have George Michael stuck in your heads, too.
Tyler and his idiotic friend are watching the news, which is reporting that the UN is gathering to meet with the aliens. Erica, however, is working. She is a counter-terrorism expert and has been tracking cells of terrorists. When the aliens arrived, chatter dropped among all the terrorist groups, except one, where it spiked. She thinks this is intriguing, but her partner who is played by the guy who played Wash in Firefly doesn't think it's that interesting. And now for a brief geek out: I am so excited to see Wash and Inara together again. Firefly was such a great series and they were great characters in it and I love watching the diaspora of the Whedon-verse. And did you all see Nathan Fillion strap on his Captain Mal costume on Castle? Be still my nerd heart. Agent Erica thinks it is odd the cell would suddenly be trying to buy a large amount of C4. She thinks they are going to hit a target while the whole world is distracted by the Visitors. Wash says he will look into it. He asks how she is doing with this whole we-are-not-alone thing and she shrugs and bitches about her self-centered ex-husband. Somehow, he's still a dick, even though aliens exist.
On the news, we see Anna has flown down to the United Nations and is on her way into the General Assembly. She stops to speak to the gaggle of reporters (that is the official term for it) and Chad Decker is in the crowd. Anna reports that the Visitors are thrilled to have new friends to invite to their birthday parties. Anna reminds the world that they are at peace, always. Chad clicks his pen thoughtfully. Tyler, Erica's son, stares googly-eyed at the TV screen seemingly mesmerized by the beautiful Anna and her message of peace. Or, after years of sitting too close to the television set, his eyes got stuck open. At the UN, the real reporters are asking the tough questions like why the alien lifeforms look just like humans and Anna answers coyly, which makes the reporters press her. Chad Decker can't stand watching journalists hard balling such a pretty lady (that sounds really...dirty) and gallantly requests that they show respect and only ask questions like what is her favorite food and which Jonas Brother she likes best. The real journalists all turn to stare at the chuckleheaded Chad, but Anna smiles at him and lets him ask his tough question. Chad asks if there is such a thing as an ugly Visitor. She doesn't get it, so he explains that all the Visitors he has seen are very attractive. Anna thanks him and then flirtatiously adds that "he's not so bad" himself. Everyone titters appreciatively and Anna walks off, leaving them wanting more, always. Before she steps onto the elevator, she frenches Chad with her eyes. Aliens are kinky like that. Chad uses the interaction as a teaching moment on his nightly news broadcast. He thinks her pithy comeback reveals that the Visitors have a sense of humor. I think it reveals that she read a lot of Cosmo during her intergalactic travels. Once back in outer space, Anna flips from a re-run of Friends (Fact: Chandler Bing is hilarious in any language) to catch Chad's broadcast. A minion comes to her and she tells him that she wants Chad. We can only assume as an entree.
Oh look an ad for 2012. I guess we already know how it ends, since they announced a television series based on the movie with the title 2013. Guess I'll save my money and put it towards my bomb shelter. It's guaranteed 100% Mayan proof!
Cut to three weeks later. The Visitors have set up healing centers and people afflicted with the 65 ailments the Vs can cure (not hangnails, though, natch) are flooding the offices. People are flocking to host cities to see the motherships in person and the government is setting up Visitor Centers. Obviously some people who were undoubtedly fat in junior high and mocked accordingly and now suffer from low self esteem and are taking it out on the Vs, are protesting the arrival of such pretty pretty people. Agent Erica is hard at work tracking terrorists. She tells her partner (whose name we still don't know) that she finally has a real lead on her terror cell. She shows him a report of a stolen van that was found on an abandoned brownfield site in Long Island. The truck had traces of C-4. They go investigate. Agent Wash (they still haven't told us his name) hasn't turned up anything during his survey of the site, but intrepid Agent Erica, who is definitely the Brain to Wash's Pinky, is on to something. She spies a decrepit shack in the middle of the brownfield. While at first glance it is empty, she pulls a rope and finds a trap door. She is really earning her exorbitant salary right now. She and Wash head down the trapdoor, turn on the lights and step into a long cement underground hallway. They pull their guns and investigate. Erica leads naturally as Wash is pretty much a putz. They follow the tunnel and find a room populated solely by a man who appears to have been beaten to death and left tied to a chair. Wash smartly rules out suicide as the cause of death. Erica ignores him and continues her investigation. She uncovers an enormous stash of C-4.
Ryan (Morris Chestnut) is leaving an office building when his phone rings. It is a white guy, who apparently shops at the same store as Ted Kaczynski, so we pretty much know exactly who and what he is from the get go. He needs Ryan's help, because "they are here and it has started." Ryan doesn't know how he got his number (bathroom stall on the left at the office, obviously), but he needs to forget it. Ryan is just not that type of guy anymore. Ryan hangs up on him just as his lady meets him for lunch. The phone rings again and Ryan silences it. At the Manhattan Heliport, Tyler and his doofus friend have somehow managed to score tickets to a tour of the Vs' mothership. They get on a shuttle and fly to the enormous ship. They shuttle lands in the middle of a ship so huge that it really looks like a cross between the Cylon base ship and Cloud Nine, the R and R ship in the Galactica fleet. The ship is obviously very clean and white, because as far
as I can tell all extraterrestrials run their ships more or less like Singapore. There is no litter, no spitting, no vandalism, and no knick-knacks in outer space. The hapless teenagers file off the ship and are immediately overwhelmed by their hormones when they see the hot tour guide. Maybe teenage boys' hormones are the "mineral" that power the Vs' ship!
Back in the underground room, the FBI agents have called for back up. The medical examiner thinks the dead guy has been dead for less than a day and was tortured before he was killed. I guess that would explain the whole tied-up-and-bloodied thing, thanks public employee! Naturally Agent Erica isn't surprised by this non-news and tells Wash that she has unearthed a stash of fake documents that the terrorist cell was making -- everything from passports to IDs. It's an FBI agent's dream bust, except that there was no one there to actually bust.
Up on the space ship, the two teenage boys are acting like teenage boys and guffawing and gawking at the hot Vs in their low-cut uniforms. While one V explains about gravity manipulation, a blond vixen comes to woo the boys into joining the Vs' cult, er...peace ambassador program. If they join they get a uniform! The boys jump to attention and take the pamphlets, only to sag in disappointment when they find out they need a parent's signature to join the fun. Man, those Vs sure are sticklers for annoying administrative details. They must have really done their research into humanity's love of arbitrary age cut offs. The blond sighs because she just got assigned to the New York chapter and they could have spent some quality time together. Tyler can NOT believe that he had to go to space to find a girl who liked him. High school is so cruel.
At church, Father Jack is avoiding proselytizing for intergalactic brotherly love and instead is preaching caution when it comes to the Vs. He recommends against riding on the "bandwagon of fun". He recommends letting the Vs earn their trust first. The older father scowls in the pews. When the sermon is over he finds Father Jack and skewers him for not following doctrine. They are under strict orders to preach acceptance of the Vs. And he, for one, thanks God everyday for the Vs (and for his unique ability to accessorize) because they are bringing people back to God. Has Jack seen the size of his congregation? Jack thinks people are scared and that is why they come to church. He thinks the Vs' timing is too perfect. They showed up right when the world needed them the most. Now people are relying on the Vs and that reliance can turn into ...wait for it...devotion. The longest four letter word in the language. He thinks the Vs are preying on peoples' needs and that can be dangerous. Their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of one of their oldest parishioners, Wheelchair Guy. He wants to show them something. He stands up. The Vs healed him. He has no pain. He is cured. The priests are stunned. Strangely another giant Jesus doesn't crash to the ground right then. I guess the prop room ran out.
Tyler comes home and his mom waves him over to the computer. She has something super awesome to show him. It's a video of him tagging a giant V on someone's property. He is more shocked and hurt that she is in his account. Dude, your mom's FBI, she probably had you implanted with a tracking device at birth, so you really shouldn't be surprised if she hacks your fake Facebook account. Erica can't believe that he is so freaking stupid, not only for defacing public property and posting it to the internet, but also for falling so hard for the Vs. When chuckleheaded Tyler tries to explain that it was all his fattish friend's idea, Erica has NO CHOICE but to launch into the lame "would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?" speech, a question to which I am pretty sure most children would answer a resounding YES. Like, has no one been to middle school recently? Of course you would do it, if there were even a small chance that it would make you more popular or get beat up less often. I am also fairly certain modern kids are impervious to this line of questioning. That said, the speech is so tried and so clichéd that I am pretty sure most parents actually whip it out when standing in the face of incredibly annoying teenage behavior. Honestly, Erica offers up a pretty weak version of the speech, but that is probably fairly realistic, like she can't believe the words are actually coming out of her mouth. Tyler's defense is that tagging is not merely vandalism, because the Vs consider it spreading peace, love, and spray paint. Erica shakes her head in shame at the stupid kid she raised. She then asks him the most logical question: Is he acting out because his dad left? Um...what? Tyler gawks at her. Is this the first time they have talked about mommy and daddy's divorce? I can't figure out if this is the clumsiest writing since the first season of Degrassi Junior High or if the writers are being really clever knowing that when parents are faced with smart-mouthed teenagers they will grasp at any pop psychological straw in the hope that they will make a breakthrough? So, Tyler, is this because mommy and daddy got divorced and daddy left? Is that why you are acting out? Tyler snarls at her that she is a bad mommy. He wins.
Chad walks into the television studio and is greeted by a party of anxious looking network execs and one V, Anna's executive assistant who kind of looks like Peter Gallagher, but isn't. The V announces that Chad has been selected. Anna wants to do an intimate interview from the ship to help calm the protests against them. She wants Chad to do it. He gets to be Katie Couric to her Sarah Palin -- what an honor! Elsewhere Ryan' phone rings again and he hangs up again, claiming it is nothing. His girlfriend points out not-at-all-suavely that he has been getting a lot of calls that are "nothing" lately. You can tell she has been working up to ask this question for quite a while and it is definitely a loaded question. He swears it really is nothing, but she won't accept that answer because they are honest and don't keep secrets. They have relationship transparency and these secret phone calls are like the black ops of their open relationship. He laughs, tells her she's pretty and changes the subject. Well played, Ryan, but I somehow think it's not over yet.
At the FBI office, Erica's partner...Hold on, Complaint Break: Names! What are these people's names?! Just tell us once! If you, the writers, are too lazy to tell me your own characters' names, you must realize that the viewers are not going to bother looking it up on IMDB. Anyway, Erica's partner who I will continue to call Wash until instructed otherwise, is trying to track one of the fake IDs. It is a creepy-looking guy (think Bob from Twin Peaks), but they have no federal registry of creeps. I for one would be thrilled for my tax dollars to be used on such a database. Erica has made progress on identifying the dead guy they found to the C-4 stash. They have a warrant for his house, which is obviously a split-level ranch house, because it is New York City and those are so common here. The agents race up the lawn (also common in NYC) and break down the door. The house was tossed and is empty. Erica thinks they knew they were coming and that somebody tipped them off. She calls the dead guy's cell phone, finds it, and finds a cryptic text message. Fortunately Wash speaks fluent tween and translates the message. Seems there is a meeting tonight on the Brooklyn piers, everyone must have a password and all newbies must be prepared to pass "the test". So the dead guy was going to go to a meeting to discuss the sleeper cell. This confuses Erica -- if you have info you go to the police, not a meeting. Well, Erica, not if you are in Sleeper Cell Anonymous.
Ryan is leaving work when he is assaulted by the guy who dresses like the Unabomber. He wants to talk. Ryan is not interested and since he is about ten inches taller and has about 100 pounds on the guy, you would think he would listen. He doe
sn't listen. They need Ryan's help; Ryan doesn't let the use of the third person plural escape without questioning. Who is this "they"? The rumpled guy explains that there are 25 others and they are recruiting more. They are being careful, too. Ryan still isn't interested. A lot of people got killed last time and he is about to get engaged. He isn't going to put his fiancée at risk. I don't know what they are talking about so I will assume it was a particularly brutal Barney's Warehouse Sale. The guy sticks an address in Ryan's pocket and tells him to meet them there if he grows a conscience (or Jiminy Cricket pays him a visit) between now and then. How long does a conscience take to grow?
Father Jack is walking through the pews (not the peeyous, the church pews) when he finds a lone parishioner who appreciated his sermon the other day. The priest is so thrilled to find someone who actually likes what he had to say (as opposed to that downer of an old priest who is always censoring him) that he stops to chat. Then he realizes something is really wrong with the parishioner. The guy tells him that he is right not to trust the Vs, because he knows the real reason the Vs are here -- they are not here to serve man, but to obliterate them! It's a cookbook! Father Jack is skeptical until he sees the massive bloody hole in the guy's abdomen. Yeah, you don't mess with a guy who had an alien appendectomy. The guy hands Father Jack an envelope and tells him to go to the meeting and give the people there the information that is inside. Father Jack runs to get the man some help, but you can tell that it is his dying wish for Jack to go to the Brooklyn meeting. As a priest, Jack is duty-bound to obey the last request and to not wipe down the bloody envelope with like a gallon of Purell.
In the television studio on board the Vs' mothership, Anna and Chad prepare for their intimate interview (that is not a euphemism). As Anna's make up is touched and they prepare to go to air, Chad asks Anna if she has any last minute questions. She has no questions; just so long as he doesn't ask them anything that could portray them in a negative light, they are good to go. Chad double takes. Anna clarifies that she chose him because he asked such nice easy questions when they first met, and she wants him to ask more questions like that. While Chad's journalistic integrity was perhaps bested by his chivalry when they first met, he is not prepared to soft ball the Vs during their first interview. But when he says there has been some sort of mistake, Anna's executive assistant cocks his head. Chad explains that he is a Journalist (note the capital J) and he will ask the tough questions. He promises to be fair. Anna (who hasn't blinked in about three minutes) smiles kindly and cancels the interview. Chad doesn't accept, but he also has somehow found his journalistic backbone and won't let her off easy. She takes a deep breath, smiles, and points out that this interview would be the big break for his career and he needs to nut up, bend over, and do it on their terms. Chad sighs.
Father Jack takes off his uniform and dresses in his civvies as he takes his bloody envelope to its final destination. Erica and Wash are parked in a car outside the meeting location. Erica is going in despite the fact that Wash thinks it is a terrible idea. Erica explains that since the people who are organizing the event are expecting people they don't know, she should be fine. And so long as the event doesn't have bitchy PR girls with clipboards who let all the power from managing the guest list go to their heads, she should be good. Erica leaves Wash in the car and she doesn't crack a window or anything. She gives herself 30 minutes and if she is not back, then he can call in the cavalry. She walks to the door and comes into a large warehouse with a small group led by the fake Unabomber. He explains that the group is a word of mouth gathering, comprised of people who were told about the meeting by someone the group trusts. There is a doctor there who will administer an anesthetic to each of them. Juliet can't keep her mouth shut and asks what the anesthetic is for exactly? Cut to Chad, whose journalistic integrity has crumpled like a Dixie cup under the weight of potential fame and global notoriety. He introduces Anna and thanks her for giving them the opportunity to get to know her. She smiles sweetly and tells him to feel free to ask anything and everything. Chad barely manages to not roll his eyes on national television. Cut back to the meeting where a small V (get it? get it?) is cut into the scalp behind a guy's ear. The flap is lifted and they are instructed to look for skull. Father Jack is intrigued, but Juliet is revolted. The leader tells her she is . The older priest watches Anna answer a question about her home planet and then we cut back to the meeting where all the attendees have passed the test. What's the test? To prove they are not a Visitor. Juliet is confused. The guy explains that the Visitors have disguised themselves as humans to walk among them. The Vs are not new arrivals, but have been there before. Anna tells Chad that humanity is a rare gift that they plan to cherish, while the conspiracy theorist explains that the Vs are determined to exterminate every man, woman, and child on the planet. Anna says they are honored to assist mankind and it is very emotional for them. Chad asks if they are emotional beings and Anna says that they are, but they accentuate the positive. Tranquility and peace are the only emotions they really let themselves feel. Oprah would be very proud, I'm sure. At the meeting it is being explained that Vs posing as humans have established themselves in every facet of human life -- business, government, and religion. Then they spread out to cause instability. Juliet has a look of complete skepticism and a semi-snarled lip as he explains that the Vs have caused economic meltdowns and unnecessary wars. Anna disagrees, she thinks change is never easy, but can bring great reward. Tyler is watching closely and fingering the form to become a Junior Peace Ambassador. Anna announces a plan to expand their healing centers into every major city across the globe. Wait...the aliens come and propose...universal health care? I guess with a show that premiered on election night, you have to expect some political ideology to seep through. I just wish it had started on National Doughnut Day (that would be the first Friday in June -- go mark it in your iCal, I'll wait) so we could have characters eating doughnuts throughout the show. Although then I would be jealous. A lot jealous. And then I would have to stop writing. Walk the ten blocks to Peter Pan Doughnuts, pick up a cruller and a maple bar and then walk back here. Eat the doughnuts, wipe the grease off my keyboard, and then get back to work. And that would not be very efficient. Also, fattening. So politics are much better than doughnuts. But, anyway, really? Universal health care? How subversive. And timely. The rabble rouser explains that the final stage of the Vs' evil plan was put into effect when they revealed themselves to the hapless humans. They are positioning themselves as the saviors of humanity. That resonates with the priest, who doesn't like anybody interloping on Jesus's turf. Anna is still going on about the Vs great health care reform plan, but I am not going to delve into the political implications of this. Read this or this instead. Tyler forges his mom's name on the form so he can become an Ambassador of Peace and spread the word of V everywhere. After watching two season of True Blood it is weird to be writing about V and not mean drugs. At the meeting, the leader recognizes the skepticism that surrounds him. He knows people think he is crazy and Juliet...oops, Erica, asks for proof. When the leader calls her out and d
emands to know who referred her, she plays it cool and says it doesn't matter because she is leaving. The priest jumps in, because he has proof. He hands the leader the bloody envelope. It contains pictures of Visitors. Erica looks over his shoulder and when she sees someone she recognizes, she grabs the picture. It is the creepy Bob-looking guy. She shakes her head in confusion and explains that no, this guy is a terrorist. He's in a sleeper cell! Right. A sleeper cell of Visitors.
After the proof is delivered, the meeting breaks up into smaller groups. Erica congratulates Jack on his bravery for coming to the meeting. They introduce themselves and it is unclear whether Erica knows Jack is a priest. Out of the darkness a small orb floats into the room, surveying the situation, before arming and firing. The fearless leader barely manages to yell, "Get down!" before the orb fires its deadly payload. A few of the extras are killed and in the chaos the room is filled with humanoid Visitors armed with alien weaponry or maybe just knives? The fighting is fast and furious and it's hard to figure out who is a Visitor and who is a resistance fighter. Father Jack grabs his envelope and punches a Visitor fiercely. Erica lunges for a gun, but is waylaid by ...her partner. He stares at her and lunges again, pinning her and choking her. Their leader is running from the fight when he is cornered by a menace with a baton? Knife? I don't know what I am looking at here. He is about to go down when Ryan surfaces taking down the Visitor with some serious punches and kicks, but sustaining some brutal cuts. Erica manages to beat the crap out of her partner, slashing him with a piece of serrated metal. When he falls, she investigates and finds that his skin has come off. She looks closer and doesn't see skull, but reptilian skin. She peels back the human skin and suddenly the reptilian eye opens and he grabs her around the neck again. She stabs him in the gut and almost gives the priest the same, but he grabs her and they run. Ryan and the leader survey for a second -- there are at least seven bodies of both Vs and humans around the room -- and then they run for it too. Outside Ryan starts, "Georgie..." And THANK YOU we finally have a name. Georgie stops him, because no...Ryan was right to leave the group. They were so careful this time and still the Vs knew they were meeting. They can't possibly proceed. They can't fight. There is no hope. They are animals. At that Ryan gets up and takes off his coat. Georgie is wrong, they aren't ALL animals. Ryan sticks out his arm, and shows him the gash he received. He separates his skin and reveals reptile. (First: Gross. Second: Whoa.) Georgie starts and jumps backwards. Ryan knows he was wrong to leave the fight. There are other traitors like him and they will fight, too. Georgie asks him where he is going and Ryan explains that he is going to tell Val (YES! THANK YOU!) that he is leaving because it is not safe to be around him anymore. Aw man...he's cold blooded and cold hearted.
Up on the mothership Chad is making a break for it, but Anna's executive assistant stops him for a performance review. Anna loves him and they plan to call on him again. She trusts him. Chad smiles pertly that he's not sure that he trusts Anna. This does not faze the assistant, who offers Chad the solace of a Successory: It's not shameful to sacrifice one's principles for the greater good -- it is noble. Whatever, dude, print it on a coffee mug. The assistant reiterates the point that Anna could have chosen anyone, but she chose Chad because his 80s name reminds her of her childhood spent at the crocodile farm in Tallahassee. The assistant wants Chad to know that they appreciate his work and whenever Anna has anything important to say, they will do it through Chad. Anna stares at him for awhile and, good grief, BLINK, "WOMAN"!
Back on earth, Ryan goes to break break break little Val's heart. He walks into their apartment and she is sitting guiltily in the living room. She ransacked the place while he was out and found the engagement ring he was going to give her. She feels terrible for doubting him. She asks if he still loves her and he does "more than she'll ever know."
Out on the docks, Erica and the priest regroup. Erica is stunned she just can't get the image of her partner lying dead on the floor out of her head. The priest doesn't really know what to say about that because, yeah, it was pretty much a yuckfest over there. He asks what they do . Erica says they join the resistance and they fight. They will be careful when they recruit others to their cause, but they will fight. Erica knows that they have a big headstart, because the Vs have a big weapon on their side. When Erica stalls, the priest asks what the weapon is? It's devotion. That scares the priest right out of his collarino. Meanwhile, Erica's jackass son, Tyler, is signing up to be a Junior Peace Ambassador so he can wear a uniform and pal around with hot girls. Whatever, kid, just get a job at Hot Dog on a Stick. Same same.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks of V when he has No Prior Knowledge.
Get the inside scoop on V's behind-the-scenes turmoil from star Joel Gretsch (who happens to be William Shatner's son-in-law).
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks of V when he has No Prior Knowledge.
Get the inside scoop on V's behind-the-scenes turmoil from star Joel Gretsch (who happens to be William Shatner's son-in-law).
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks of V when he has No Prior Knowledge.
Get the inside scoop on V's behind-the-scenes turmoil from star Joel Gretsch (who happens to be William Shatner's son-in-law).