Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Personal Jesus
By Sara M | Season 5 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.16.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.This week, House treats a priest who claims to have lost his faith after being accused of molestation. He's suffering from hallucinations, having seen Jesus hovering over his doorstep after a night of drinking, smoking, and wallowing in self-pity. House finds a faithless priest delicious despite the possible pedophilia, but Taub does not share those feelings, especially after it appears that the priest has a compromised immune system, most likely from AIDS. The priest refuses to take a test for it, saying there's no way he could have AIDS, and Taub decides to find the boy who accused him of molestation and tell him to get tested himself. When the boy finds out that the man he accused is near death, he shows up at PPTH to apologize to him for the false accusation. The priest was telling the truth after all. This inspires House to believe him about the AIDS as well, and once he eliminates the hallucination symptom, he's able to figure out the real disease -- a genetic disease that compromises the immune system just like AIDS. And the priest, now innocent of those molestation charges, finds his faith again. As for House, he chalks the Jesus vision up to alcohol, but it's unusually (for this show) left up to interpretation.
Cuddy has found her faith, too, a new daughter reminding her that she's Jewish. She holds a baby-naming ceremony and plays games with inviting House to it because she doesn't want him to go. Except that she actually does. But she can't bring herself to invite him for real, so he doesn't go. He plays Jewish music on his piano instead. And Foreman and Hadley play games of their own with House when he tells them to break up or quit.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's after hours at the soup kitchen, and a scruffy man named Danny cleans up. He answers a knock at the door to reveal a homeless man and some CGI cold air breath. The man asks to borrow a coat, and Danny points out that he's already wearing one. The man has to explain that it's freezing outside and he'd like something a little bit warmer so he doesn't die. Danny sighs in annoyance and finds the guy a sweatshirt. That's not exactly warm, but the man is only upset about the fact that it has the Rangers logo on it, and that is not a very popular team in New Jersey. Danny just glares at him, so the man claims he's kidding. Danny doesn't laugh. He just says good-night and closes up shop. He heads into his dingy apartment for some music by Doves, a cigarette, and a few shots before unzipping his own shirt to reveal a priest's collar, which he then removes as soon as possible. He drinks some more before he's interrupted by another knock at the door. This time it's someone wearing much less clothing. He looks a lot like Jesus, crown of thorns, stigmata, and all. "That's not funny, freak," Father Danny immediately says. "No one is laughing, Daniel," Jesus says; "now do you think I could borrow a coat? I'm freezing out here with just this strategically-placed sheet to wear." Danny looks down to see that Jesus is actually floating in mid-air.
House arrives at work to find Cuddy waiting for him as usual. She asks if he has plans for Friday. He sure does, and they involve not one, but two prostitutes. Cuddy says that's too bad, because she was hoping he'd be free to attend Rachel's simchat bat, which House immediately knows is the Jewish baby-naming ceremony. If Rachel were a boy, this would be followed by a circumcision. Lucky Rachel. House thinks Cuddy's sudden interest in her religion's customs is hypocritical and declines the offer, even though Cuddy tries to sweeten the pot by saying it'll include free alcohol and "lots of nice people you can quietly mock."
Instead, House heads to the ER and starts looking through patient files. Cameron's House-detection alarm goes off, so she runs up to see him. Did she just say she runs the ER? Does she really? How is this even possible? Surely there were plenty of other, older, vastly more experienced and capable doctors working there who should have been offered the position first? Or is Cameron the only doctor in the entire ER like Wilson is the only oncologist? House finds a file he likes and asks to meet the patient it belongs to. "He's a drunk priest who hallucinated Jesus," Cameron says loudly even though Danny is lying like ten feet away from her. She thinks it's a clear-cut case of either alcohol or exhaustion, and certainly nothing up to House's picky standards. So he must be taking this case to try to screw someone over. Cameron allows him to do just that because she has a whole ER to run and no doctor co-workers to help out.