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It feels a little weird that there is so much focus on whether the townspeople will be freaked out to find that the barrier keeping them in Chester's Mill is a dome, given the plane crash in the pilot. But when Julia broadcasts the news — pissed off that radio stations news guardians haven't done so — that they are fully enclosed (other residents have been trying to dig their way out), and that the military didn't do this and don't know what to do about it, the townspeople get mildly squirrelly for about five seconds, but then everyone pulls together to help put out a fire at Duke's house. (And Duke is definitely dead.) That fire was started by the resident mortician/reverend, Lester, who was attempting to hide evidence of the nefarious propane goings-on, which he's in on with Big Jim. Big Jim might want to rethink that, given how comically inept Lester is at disposing of the evidence. He can't even set fire to a house without getting trapped inside. Fortunately (or not) he's rescued by Linda.
It turns out Barbie isn't exactly a stone-cold killer, but Julia's husband was killed after pulling a gun on Barbie first, when Barbie was trying to collect a gambling debt. Barbie is attacked by Junior, who is easily the most tiresome, time-sucking part of the series so far. Junior was goaded into attacking Barbie by Angie, who pretends that she had sex with Barbie, so that Junior would — well, I'm not sure if Angie was even thinking at all, since Junior's too unstable for that to have been a smart move. "He screwed my brains out," she spits at Junior, who promptly goes and gets his ass kicked. So I'm sure his mood will improve.
With Duke gone, and the growing realization that the town is really on its own, people are starting to wonder who's in charge. No one handles it worse than someone with a little actual authority: cop Paul Randolph, who goes crazy when everyone is celebrating putting out the fire (firefighting efforts led by Barbie and Julia, completed by Big Jim taking a loader to the house, demolishing it) and is all, "We're doomed, I tells ya! Doomed!" and in frustration he fires a shot at the dome, which ricochets and hits another officer — who happens to be the brother of Linda's fiancé, Rusty, killing him. We're not ending every episode with a police officer being killed, are we?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We end the previouslies with the reminder that Barbie was burying Pete -- the good editor's husband -- and start the episode with the two of them in mid-fight. It's a gambling debt and Barbie didn't mean to kill him, but Pete, having had his ass kicked, pulled a gun on Barbie and in the ensuing struggle was the one who was shot... but not before managing to snatch Barbie's dog tags and dropping them cinematically in the chaos.
Barbie wakes up and Julia comes in to see if he's OK, because he was talking -- yelling, actually -- in his sleep. Since she's more amused than bemused, presumably he wasn't yelling anything like, "No, Pete! Just pay your debts and go home to your hot wife before you accidentally get shot in the gut!" Barbie's looking for his dog tags, and Julia says she'll keep an eye out, right before he remembers where they are.
Duke's dead, baby. Duke's dead. Two other cops show up to help a grieving Linda, cradling Dead Duke's head in her lap, and then they quickly and crazily leap to all sorts of conclusions about how the dome blows up things with batteries. So all the cellphones that people carry didn't explode One of the cops, Paul Randolph, is a little freaked out, wondering who's in charge -- it won't be the last time this question is asked tonight -- and Linda orders him to do his job, which is checking roadblocks or something. Whatever you do, Paul, don't get all crazy or anything!
Meanwhile, Joe and his annoying sidekick are back at Joe's house, having an exposition-heavy conversation -- the kind where Joe's buddy would say, "An hour ago you were having a seizure, flopping around like a fish on a hook," and tell him about the crazy things Joe was muttering, as if they wouldn't have had that conversation a while ago. And when Joe's buddy Ben crows about how they won't have to take "that trig test" tomorrow, Joe decides he can use trigonometry to "totally map this thing."
Speaking of exposition-heavy dialogue, over at the radio station, Phil asks Dodee, "Is there anything more about the military on that contraption of yours" She's lost the signal and is trying to get it back, and then they hear a reference to a dome again, and Phil hilariously notes that's "the second time in twenty-four hours" the military called it a dome. Did you guys even go home last night? "We're under a dome, Dodee!" He wants to tell people, but Dodee says they only know enough right now to scare the crap out of them. And you're not rushing to air with that? Someone didn't go to journalism school! So Phil gets back on the mike and starts waxing philosophical about the isolation of Chester's Mill before presumably rockin' out with some more of that rock n' rock music that the kids love to rock out to.
The radio's on at Sweetbriar Rose, where Big Jim is fixing the generator. The lights come back on, and the Big City Lesbian Couple are drawn out in the hopes that the dome is gone. They're introduced as Carolyn and Alice from L.A., staying in Rose's spare room. Alice says they're taking their daughter to... and Carolyn cuts her off to say "to camp." And they talk about the seizure, the moms a little vague on the details. Big Jim tells them if they have to get stuck someplace, it might as well be here, a sentiment that's a little undercut when Linda bursts in, blood splattered across her shirt, and tells him Duke's dead.
Julia is throwing a tennis ball against the dome, annoyed that the soldiers aren't paying her any attention. Barbie comes out and jokes that she could strip naked and they wouldn't blink. Julia says she tried that an hour ago and Barbie can't help but pop a boner at the possibility that she's not kidding. Julia's working under the assumption that the military are responsible for these, as in an experimental portable detention camp kind of thing. And they're the reason her husband is trapped out there, she yells. Barbie, unsurprisingly, does not correct her. When Julia sees one of the soldiers talking on the radio, she hops in her car and peels out for the radio station. "They might not be talking to us, but they're talking to somebody," she says.
Over in Who Cares Junior's Presumable Sex Dungeon, Angie is rattling around. She hears Junior come in and jumps him when he enters, bringing her a plate of food. She manages to make it to the ground-level doors, but they're locked and Junior's got the key. He hauls her back down the bed and chains him to the bed. She screams at him and he says the dome has scrambled her brain. "You're sick, Angie, but I'm going to make you better," he says. Great idea: Take me to the hospital, she replies, but Junior darkly says the guy he saw her with might still be there. Angie barely has any idea who Junior's talking about at first, and then tells him that Barbie just gave her a cigarette, but he doesn't believe it. "When this thing comes down, you're going to love me again," he tells her, and then she screams that she will never love him. This seems to affect him, so Angie really goes for it, admitting that Barbie didn't just give her a cigarette: "He screwed my brains out, and I loved every minute of it." Yeah, this is a great idea! Nice touch, saying Junior will never be the man Barbie is. Jesus, don't poke the bear, you idiot! Junior leaves, and Angie screams a little more.
There's Duke, lying dead on a slab at the morgue, Big Jim and Linda looking on. "I loved him. He was like a father to me," says Linda, and she asks Jim about what Duke might have been talking about when he said there were things about Chester's Mill he wanted to protect her from, but Big Jim plays dumb.
The mortician (who appears also to be a reverend) walks in -- this guy can do whatever else he likes and I will always see him as the creepy guy Elaine Benes worked with at J. Peterman. He moans about what he's going to do with another dead body, and Big Jim snaps at him, telling him to show some respect to Duke. Lester softens considerably when he hears who it is (once his hearing aid is turned on). He offers his condolences to Linda, who leaves to get back to work.
As soon as she's gone, Big Jim angrily throws Lester against the wall, growling that Lester is using their "stuff," because he's high as a kite. And another little piece of the puzzle falls into place. Lester's all, "May as well! It's Judgment Day!" Big Jim says the only reason they got into it was to save Chester's Mill, and Lester reminds him that that's why Duke went along with it; they, on the other hand, had other priorities. Big Jim orders Lester to come with him so they can clean up their mess.
Joe's idiot friend Ben is spray painting a doorway on the dome, while Joe makes notes. Barbie strolls up, and Joe is excited to show him the work he's done -- he's already determined it's about ten miles across. Barbie tells him to keep it up and swaggers off. Ben (and especially Joe) gaze lovingly after the guy who is clearly not from around here since he's cool.
Over at the radio station, Phil and Dodee are listening to scratchy voices on her doohickey, and Julia comes in all, "What the hell is that?" Even though we can barely hear anything being said.
Linda comes into the town hall, spotting the silhouette of someone behind the door to Duke's office. It turns out to be Big Jim, who covers by handing her the document he says he was looking for: Duke's will. She opens it and learns Duke was leaving her everything, including his house. "Of course he did. He treated you like the daughter he never had," says Big Jim. Linda starts crying, and Big Jim embraces her. She wants to know what happens now. Big Jim probably does too.
What he does do is go out to his SUV to bitch at Lester for not managing to warn him somehow about Linda showing up, and tells him Duke didn't have anything in the office about propane. Lester figures it must be at the house and Big Jim orders him to get over there before Linda does. I suppose in all the chaos, Linda's main priority is going to be reveling in her new house, courtesy of her recently deceased dad-boss?
Over at the radio station, Julia wants to know how Dodee's contraption works and as Dodee -- three credits shy of her master's degree, we learn -- starts to explain, Jodee makes that face that protagonists do when confronted with something overly technical and gets all, "Cut to the chase, Poindexter." She hears a reference to the "dome" herself and wants to know why the radio station hasn't told people. "We're not a news station," says Dodee, which is a little different from her reasoning earlier where she sounded like they wanted to double-source facts before breaking news.
Julia, meanwhile, needs nothing more than to hear someone say "dome" over a radio, and she goes flying downstairs to commandeer the mic -- Phil and Dodee don't seem to want her to, but they absolutely could stop her or cut her mic if they so desired -- and warms everyone about the information from "military sources." And she even wraps it up with, "Stay tuned to -- " and Phil comes in with "WYBS: Your only source of news under the dome." We have a title!
Over at Sweetbriar Rose the Big City Couple are wondering what all this "dome" talk means. "It means we're all gonna die in here!" To be fair, she probably says that everywhere she goes. Not a cheery one, this gal.
After the commercial break, Alice and Carolyn and some extras get in a few token lines about being worried about being under a dome, but so far the riot manages to hold off. Outside the diner, Paul Randolph starts ranting at Linda again about people would have to be stupid not to be scared, and he stomps off, leaving Linda and other cop Freddy Denton -- her fiancé Rusty's brother -- to have a little chat about how Rusty isn't going to let a little magic box keep him from her. And he blabs that her brother is planning a trip to Hawaii for their honeymoon. She's thrilled because he told her they'd have to settle for Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls? Ugh, you'd be better off under the dome. Lester strolls up to see how Linda's getting along -- and then to somehow steal her keys despite barely touching her elbow? I guess?
Big Jim's driving along a back road, listening to another one of Julia's useless updates -- it appears not be radioactive, but stay away! -- when he spots someone driving a loader and hauling ass towards the dome. He manages to stop him and warn him about the dome frying mechanical things, like Duke's pacemaker. And Loader Man, upon finding out that Duke is dead, wants to know who's in charge.
Ben is now whining that the dome is going to keep him from making out with Mila Kunis -- and the sad possibility that they've met all the girls they're even going to meet now. (I have to say that if Ben is any indication, my sympathies lie more with the girls of Chester's Mill.) They come across some military guys spraying a hose against the dome. Joe puts his hand against it, and it's a little wet when he pulls it off. The dome is like a sieve, he says, and Ben -- who doesn't know what a sieve is and figures since humans are seventy percent water they can get through -- is too goddamn dumb to worry about so far.
Over at a gas station, Barbie buys three packs of cigarettes and spots Norrie very obviously stealing a chocolate bar. "Didn't anyone ever tell you smoking's bad for you?" she says snottily at him as they leave. He explains that they'll be good leverage when people start running out, and he suggests Norrie hang on to the chocolate bar she stole for the same reason. She glares after him as he strolls away, and she's not the only one: Junior is stalking him. Again. Like he did in the first episode, too. But I guess Barbie's too preoccupied with his how-do-I-not-get-raped-when-martial-law-kicks-in plans to notice.
Back at the radio station, our intrepid reporter hears someone say they've been unable to determine the origin or composition of the dome -- meaning they didn't do it and aren't responsible. "Who is?" asks Phil.
Elsewhere, Barbie walks up to the cabin where he fought -- and killed -- Pete, and carefully goes inside. Everything's how he left it: in shambles. He finds Pete's gun, and is surprised to discover it was actually empty. Then he finds his dog tag, and puts it back on just as Junior walks in. "So, this is where you did it," says Junior. Barbie has no idea what he's talking about, which Junior takes for him playing dumb about Angie. "She belongs to me," he says, and Barbie responds: "Too bad for her." Junior throws the first punch, but not many of the ensuing ones. And when Barbie's done pounding on Junior, he warns Junior to keep away from him.
And now let us praise stupid men: Lester lets himself into Duke's home, where he turns Duke's study inside out until he finds an envelope taped to the underside of a desk drawer containing receipts for propane shipments. Laughing, Lester helps himself to one of Duke's cigars and then lights the bills on fire, tossing them in a wastebasket. Then he kicks the wastebasket under the curtains, lighting them on fire. It was done so clumsily that it was only upon the second time watching it that I realized it wasn't done deliberately. And apparently Duke's office is made of gasoline, because the fire spreads across all surfaces immediately and Lester is trapped.
Joe and Ben come across what's left of a picnic: a guitar, bikes, Hudson's Bay blanket, and two legs without a body attached. On the other side, a bloody trail indicates someone or something dragged the body away. Joe and Ben express the briefest of sympathies and then just adopt the dog, who comes along willingly after having stood barking at the dome where his master was since it descended. His name is Truman, and he's a good boy! Ben and Joe spot some black smoke arising some distance away, and run to check it out.
Elsewhere, Linda and Freddy are driving when Paul Randolph, approaching from the opposite direction and swings his car around, forcing them to stop. They're even more concerned when they get out and see he's got a trunk full of assault rifles. He's going looney tunes, saying he wants to be prepared for the utter lawlessness that's about to break out. Like right now, when he levels a shotgun at Barbie, Linda telling him to take it easy since "That's the guy who saved the McAllister kid when the plane crashed on the dome." Then they get the report of the fire at Duke's house, and Linda tells Paul to get to Duke's along with every warm body. That includes you, Barbie! Saddle up!
Over at Duke's place, Big Jim is already there and hears Lester yelling right before the police show up with Barbie in tow, who starts yelling at people to get hoses, buckets, whatever they can. He's a firefighting genius! Linda hears Lester's yells and runs for the house. Big Jim half-heartedly tries to stop her, but she goes anyway, and Big Jim drives away in his SUV. Linda manages to find Lester and pull him out -- getting help from Freddy and Paul (not totally crazy yet), just before Duke's propane tank explodes on the side of the house.
After the commercial break, we watch the bucket brigade futilely fighting the fire. Alice asks Carolyn, "Can you imagine our neighbors back in Brentwood helping out this way?" My eyes start rolling at the "people in small towns are just plain better than people in cities" theme. "I don't even know who our neighbors are," replies Carolyn, instead of, "I know where we live. It's weird that you specified 'Brentwood.'" Nobody seems to get mad at Joe for recording the action instead of helping and then he spots Norrie and instantly falls for her dark-lipstick sullenness.
The fire has spread to a nearby fence, and a car, and they can't get a handle on it spreading while Duke's house is still burning. That's when Big Jim shows up with the loader and knocks the house down to keep it contained. It's a smart move but it's not like he doesn't have an ulterior motive here.
Then we're back to Junior's Sex Fungeon, where he strolls in sporting the bruises that Barbie laid on him. "Took care of your boyfriend," he tells Angie. He tries to claim he killed Barbie, but Angie doesn't buy it because she's known Junior since the third grade. "Even you couldn't do something that terrible," she tells him. Uh... he kidnapped you and chained you to a bed in a bomb shelter, Angie. You may want to reassess. He's just happy to hear the old Angie again, and gives her a piece of paper. "This is what we're working for," he tells her, and gives her a folded piece of paper before leaving. It's a series of those photos that you take in booths at the malls that only collect dust these days.
Back at Duke's place, Barbie is wasting water by hosing down the not-even-smoldering rubble and Julia praises his great idea that I hate to tell her WASN'T EVEN WORKING, and he flirts back a bit and she notices his dog tags. He says he just found them right where he left them on the mirror. She's all, "Huh, that's the first place I checked. Must have just missed them."
Big Jim gives Lester -- on a stretcher, about to go in an ambulance -- hell for making such a hash of things, and then Linda comes by so Big Jim's got to pretend to be nice. She asks why he was there, and Lester -- sounding like he's lying while glancing at Big Jim -- says he was getting a suit for the funeral, and he flipped on a light and doesn't remember anything else. Big Jim yes-ands him, saying the dome is right in Duke's backyard line, so it probably severed the gas line.
Then the crowd of townspeople applaud Linda for saving Lester and Big Jim for putting out the fire (the rubble is now smoking again, in the background). Big Jim takes the opportunity to praise the town for coming together, warning them that this will not be the last crisis they face: "We'll get through the one with the same courage and solidarity that we showed today."
Then Paul Randolph is all, "Like hell we will!" and goes off on how it's no big deal that they put out a fire. The dome is trapping smoke and they can't get out. The other cops urge him to take it easy, which only makes him pull out his gun. "It's not gonna be OK! This thing is never gonna go away, and we're all gonna die!" he yells, and turns and fires at the dome. The shot ricochets, hitting Freddy in the chest. Everyone looks on in horror, and Barbie quickly disarms Paul -- who is not so far gone that he's not shocked at what just happened -- and this series is two-for-two in Ending Episodes with Linda Cradling a Dead Colleague.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. That bucket brigade might as well have just had some beers and let loose for all the good they did. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.
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