In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
First of all, Molly wasn't really dead at the end of the last episode. But it's okay, because she dies at the end of this one. That might sound hard-hearted of me, but there's a hilarious death by Rachel Dratch in the middle of the episode, so I guess this is a show where death is wacky now. I don't know. It seemed weird to me, too. The point is: Molly's definitely dead now.
In more Betty-specific news, she and Marc get to go on Y.E.T.I.-sponsored job interviews. Betty does well with the New York Review, but Jody steals the job. The moral: never trust Bernadette Peters. Marc gets offered an editing job at Vogue, which is pretty good, actually. But then Betty and Marc both want the editing job opened up by Rachel Dratch falling out a window, so there are a lot of hilarious hijinx, ending with Betty getting the job.
This thing between Claire and Wilhelmina also continues to come to a boil, with Cal keeping Wili from getting her way, even though he specifically prevented Claire from firing her a couple of episodes ago. I'm not crazy about this subplot. At the end, Wili is being pushed out somehow. So she hires a private investigator to find Connor (remember Connor?) and get back the money, no matter what happens to Connor in the process. Then she sees someone in her bedroom, but we don't know who.
Also! (It's a two-hour episode, which means it's really two episodes smushed together, which means a lot happens) Henry's back in town, which freaks Betty out, but she tells him to leave. Then Matt sees their goodbye kiss and mopes for a while before dumping Betty over it. But he doesn't just leave; he becomes Betty's new boss, because his father Cal is weird and arbitrarily vindictive.
Oh, and Justin doesn't get into the performing arts high school he applied to. That's a shame, but it leads to a nice scene between Justin and Marc.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vlogger Sean Crespo thinks America Ferrara is too pretty to play "Ugly Betty" in No Prior Knowledge!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Season finale! Yay! Two hours long! Uh-oh! Let's get going!
Suzuki (hooray!) welcomes us to "Molly Watch", because it turns out that Molly's not actually dead. In fact, she's now part of "New York's new 'It' couple" as everyone in New York has suddenly decided that Daniel, one-time playboy and gadabout, is absolutely dreamy for having a dying wife. So as Daniel pushes Molly's wheelchair out of the hospital, he's greeted by a bunch of screaming fans waving signs that say things like "Molly + Daniel" and "I love Daniel". Suzuki pretends not to recognize Betty, who he describes as "that adorable clown, evidently on a break from entertaining all those sick kids."
Watching Fashion TV in the "STRETCH POWER" gym at Mode, Betty is understandably annoyed by Suzuki's pretense that he doesn't know who she is. All his stories are about her coworkers, and she's even been to his house! Anyway, Betty tells Daniel that he has to be on The View tomorrow (Crossover Event!), and that she'll need an hour off to meet with Jody for job interviews. There's sad music about the prospect of Betty leaving Mode.
Cal walks up to gently mock Daniel about being The Most Glamorous Man in New York City and then brags about having a luxury suite at CitiField and advertising on the Jumbotron. He's got tickets for everybody and would like Molly to throw out the first ball to help promote the wedding issue. Daniel frets about this because Molly's dying, and before you know it, Daniel's going to be doing it. Stand by for wackiness! Spoiler: there is no wackiness, and Daniel throws a perfectly acceptable first pitch.
Wili's office. She wants to know why God hates her, claiming to be a good person. Marc agrees with her, adding that she's also pretty. Wili complains that she should be going on The View and complains in general while Marc agrees emphatically. Claire struts in to instruct Wilhelmina to rethink the cover of the wedding issue, and they snarl at each other. Claire claims that Cal agrees with her and stalks out. Wili ponders, "Why would Hartley give Claire that kind of power?" Okay, I don't want to keep harping on this, but Claire is, in fact, one of the owners of the company. She was an owner before Cal showed up. And we don't know how much of the company they sold to Cal (if they even did that; they could have just gotten a loan) but she almost certainly owns more than he does. He didn't "give her power." But all that logic aside, Claire has decided she needs to figure out why Cal and Claire are connected, so she can rip them apart.
Somewhere in the most orange section of Mode, Matt has brought Betty some yogurt and his first painting. It's pretty big for a first work. And it features a scantily-clad Betty reclining among sunflowers. Betty is naturally flustered and tries to cover it up. Matt misunderstands her flusteration and thinks that she doesn't like his painting, but really she's just freaked out at practically being naked at work. Matt draws her attention to her toothbrush and robe on the chair to her, and it turns out this is just an elaborate way of asking her to move in with him. He asks Betty if she's freaked out, and she denies it. She totally is freaked out, and to avoid answering, looks at the painting again. The scene's getting kind of dull, so Amanda comes in to liven things up. Hooray! She is terrified by the painting and pretends to be blind so she can stagger off bumping into things. I'm a sucker for sophisticated comedy like that.
Wili hands Claire an orange folder full of what she describes as "options." Claire wants to turn the discussion to Wili's choice of stylist. She starts to say "I have a problem..." when a mystery woman walks in. It's Christine Baranski, who you'll remember is Victoria, Cal's evil ex-wife and Matt's mother. She and Claire have a staredown. It's an awesome staredown. Wili, Claire and Victoria are all evil and fun. Claire and Victoria clearly don't like each other, which Wili picks up on as she introduces herself to Victoria. Anyway, Victoria's here to meet Cal for something and slides off. Claire's thrown off her game and slinks away looking worried. Wili decides that it could be useful that Victoria doesn't like Claire. Did you get all that?
In the Meade cafeteria, Jody is encouraging Betty to do well at her interview. Betty continues to freak out about possibly leaving Mode and claims that her entire life is changing. Jody tells her not to worry about that and to just show the interviewers who she is. As Jody goes to the elevator, she asks (in an excessively nonchalant way) if Marc's mentioned her. He has not. Aww. Incidentally, Bernadette Peters looks great here.
Suarez dinner table. Ignacio asks Betty why she's quiet. Betty announces that Matt's asked her to move in with him. Everyone panics. How can Betty, an adult with a job, who already used to live on her own, consider moving out? After all, Ignacio was sick awhile ago, although he doesn't need help anymore. Actually, Ignacio says he's fine with it. Although he kind of wishes she'd at least consider getting married first. Oh, old people. When will you learn?
Betty and Matt talk on cell phones as they appear in tiny little 24-style windows. Betty tells Matt that she's willing to move in with him, and they banter about him painting the kitchen her favorite color. Man, what is it with this show and guys painting their kitchens? Betty is happy. She's got a job interview, she's moving in with her boyfriend, and there's a rainbow! But at the end of the rainbow... is Henry! Oh no! How will Betty handle the revelation that her old boyfriend still exists? Answer: by dropping her coffee and staring blankly.
Betty walks up to Marc and Amanda, who are hanging out at Amanda's desk and making fun of Betty's outfit. Apparently, they have puzzled out her rotation and knew that she'd be in last Tuesday's clothes. Wait, Betty reuses clothes? I assumed this show was like the Howells on Gilligan's Island, so everyone has an infinite amount of new clothes. Betty wants to know if Amanda has any messages for her, but the only ones she has are comically old, like "Bradford needs to see you in his office immediately". And she has one for Marc that says "Marc, let's try again. I can't live without you. Toby." Betty starts rummaging in Amanda's workspace, which I hate. Amanda shoves her away, asking "Why are you all up in my grundle?" Grundle? Finally, Betty admits that the reason she asks is that she saw Henry. Amanda says that she might have been imagining it, because sometimes you see people after they die (foreshadowing!). Marc exposits about Henry having moved to Arizona with his slutty ex-girlfriend.
It's time for The View! Two of the View people will be interviewing Daniel. It's Joy Behar and, um, a blonde one. Hasselbeck, I guess. They want to talk about how Daniel used to be a horndog, but he wants to talk about the magazine. The one that's not even going to hit the streets for awhile if they still haven't settled on a cover idea. Behar and Hasselbeck interrupt him repeatedly, and the audience is full of people with those same signs as before. Joy coins the term "Faniels" to describe fans of Daniel, and then she demands a lap dance. That's a weird show.
Wili is watching the show in her office and sums it up with one word: "Bitches." That seems pretty concise. Marc comes in to report that there are lesbian rumors about Victoria, and that Wili should play tennis, because he's made her a member of her tennis club.
Betty is reading the Y.E.T.I. Student Handbook at her desk and idly refreshing Henry's Facebook page, which he has updated to say where he's currently eating dim sum. It's a place in Chinatown, which does seem to make sense. I had dim sum in New York's Chinatown once, after I went to a TARCon. It turned out that the day of the dim sum was also Chinese New Year, so it was possibly the loudest meal I've ever had. Another of Henry's updates involves a parade of circus animals walking around Madison Square Garden, but I don't have an anecdote to relate to that. Suddenly! Marc roars in and tells Betty that it's time to go get interviewed. After calling her a "horny little hamster", he tells her it doesn't matter if Henry hasn't called her and insists they go. As Betty sits there, Henry's page updates so now he's at Cafe Blini. Marc comes back and makes her focus.
At first I thought they were going to be interviewing as a team or something, but that is not the case. I mean, that wouldn't even make sense. Instead, Betty is interviewing with several different groups in a row. She ends with the New York Review, at which she gives a speech about how when she was a little Betty, her life was changed by the New York Review. She ends by saying she hopes that someday she can give someone else that same gift, and the interviewer says that she's sure Betty will.
After the interviews, Jody is giddy and enthusiastic about Betty's interviews. She is cold and angry toward Marc.
Central Park, I think. Betty and Marc are strolling along and looking pretty good while doing it. Betty assures Marc that Jody probably won't sabotage him. Marc reluctantly shares some of the details from his night with Jody, but he's interrupted when Amanda joins them suddenly. She doesn't want them to leave, because Marc is her soulmate and Betty is her "elderly aunt that I'm sort of fond of." They come to a stop in front of Cafe Blini, and Betty looks conflicted. Well, now you can stalk him. The important thing was to concentrate on the interviews first. I say go in there and look for him. He knows you're his Facebook friend, so he probably expects you to have been reading his updates. As Betty's going back and forth, Marc shouts at her to make up her mind. And just as she decides not to go in, Henry shows up! And he's got Chloe, his girlfriend! Marc and Amanda look thrilled at this new development. Henry looks all muscle-y, but he looked like that before, too. [He should be! He's been fighting serial killers on Harper's Island! - Z]
Chloe is glad to meet Henry's friends, although Marc is quick to clarify that they were never friends. Amanda asks Betty if she's dying. Meanwhile, Chloe is nattering on about getting an aerobics certification. Marc and Amanda rush over to feel Henry up so they can witness his muscles for themselves. He pushes them off. Chloe invites Betty to have dinner with them that night, but Betty begs off because she's going to the Mets game. "Oh, you're going to the new CitiField?" At this point, it is clear that CitiField has paid for the product placement, because I'm pretty sure no one actually calls it "CitiField." I can also report that Michael Ian Black didn't seem to like it much. It doesn't look great to me, but neither did Shea. Anyway, Chloe's raptures about CitiField prompt Amanda to give her and Marc's tickets to Henry and Chloe, so they can sit to Betty and her boyfriend. So now Henry knows Betty has a boyfriend.
Victoria is playing tennis with Billie Jean King, who lets her win. Wilhelmina just happens to be there, complaining that her tennis opponent hasn't shown up. Victoria is delighted to have someone to play, claiming that Billie Jean doesn't even try anymore. Billie Jean explains that she has to let Vicky win, or she pouts. This is probably why there are those lesbian rumors about Victoria. Anyway, Wili and Victoria will play.
Molly's at home on the couch watching screaming women accost Daniel on Fashion TV. Daniel comes home and she tells him he'll "get so much tail when I'm gone". He is uncomfortable with her suggestion that he hook up with Anne Hathaway.
Victoria defeats Wili, and they bond. Wili gently pries about Victoria's life, learning that Victoria only has an 11-year-old poodle. And then when the conversation turns to men, Victoria suggests getting some alcohol. Wili looks satisfied.
Mode offices. Claire has received a garter that was intended for Daniel. She brings it to his office, but warns him that the embroidered phone number has a Jersey area code. Daniel looks all mopey and sad because he thinks that Molly's becoming obsessed with Daniel being with someone after she's gone. But he protests that he can't think about life without Molly.
In the conference room, Matt is unsure about the idea of going to the game with Betty's ex-boyfriend. Betty suggests they pretend Matt's sick, but he claims to be up for it. When they go in for a kiss, Betty gets a call from Jody. Betty goes to Daniel's office to tell him, "Daniel? I'm gonna be an editor." But after some commercials, she explains that it's not official yet. But Jody says that the New York Review will be calling her tomorrow with an offer. Daniel says that they never hire anyone, but he's not surprised. Betty is weepy, but Daniel thanks her. They hug.
CitiField. Very sparse crowd. Daniel throws a great first pitch, right down the middle of the plate. The crowd, what there is of it, applauds vaguely. The Jumbotron does say "MODE Salutes the Mets". From their field-level seats, Matt and Betty applaud, and I guess the game starts.
Matt gives Betty the key to the apartment, which is actually a keycard. High-tech! Chloe and Henry arrive late, which Chloe cheerfully blames on being a girl. Behind Betty, the extras are looking in entirely random directions and not cheering at all. It's a very quiet game. I keep trying to figure out who the Mets are playing, but they're only here to plug the stadium, not to show me a baseball game. Matt and Henry chat a little. Henry's an accountant, and Matt's not much of anything. Betty assures them both that he's a painter, which is totally a thing. Betty's voice-over thoughts tell her not to tell Henry and Chloe that Matt's rich. Chloe brags about how fit Henry is (which I'm pretty sure he was before he left), and Matt talks about junk food and makes his belly button talk. Henry laughs at this, for some reason, and Betty imagines the JumboTron reading "Henry 1, Matt 0".
Out in the outfield stands (for some reason) Daniel and Molly bump into a friend of Molly's named Cara. Molly tells Daniel how much he and Cara have in common, and he tells Cara that it would be inappropriate of him to go out with her when Molly's dead. But since that wasn't what she had in mind, that just creeps everyone out. Nice one, Daniel.
There's a brief glamour shot of the stadium from outside, and a few random pickup shots. Judging from the brief shot of the AL scores, this is taking place on May 15, so the Mets are... actually playing in San Francisco. Nice work.
Henry talks to Betty about his kid, and the score goes up to Henry 11-Matt 8. We see Elijah Dukes (of the Washington Nationals) take a couple of pitches. Betty is openly staring at Henry, which Matt thinks is weird. Henry babbles about his new apartment, which is full of geckos. Matt puts his arm around Betty and announces that they have some big news, too. Betty tells Henry about the editor position at the New York Review, and Matt gets theatrically sad that she didn't talk about her moving in with him. To be fair, "theatrically" is the only way anyone does anything on this show. Henry is excited for Betty.
Afterward, Betty and Henry are walking in the rain. Betty talks about Henry and Chloe, not noticing Matt's moping. Finally, he asks her why she didn't mention the fact that they were moving in together. He suggests that Betty didn't want to tell Henry so that she could leave the door open for him. She protests that it didn't mean anything, and he accepts that. Or does he?
Wili's place. She's playing piano while she and Victoria sing and drink martinis. Wili's phone rings and she announces that it's Claire Meade, adding "Leave me alone, you pill-popping hag." Victoria says that Claire almost ruined her marriage. Apparently the Meades and the Hartleys used to be close, but Cal and Claire had an affair. And a baby!
Queens. Hilda and a bowl of popcorn are listening to Betty question whether she was trying to leave the door open for Henry. Betty talks about butterflies in her stomach, and Hilda reminds her of the pain she felt. Hilda tells Betty that Henry lives 2,000 miles away and has a child and a girlfriend. He's not a realistic choice. Betty doesn't want to screw things up with Matt, and Hilda tells her not to see Henry again.
Daniel's place. He apologizes to Molly and says he doesn't know why he acted that way. Molly says that maybe he should go out with Cara after all, because they'll have a cute story to tell. Daniel asks her to stop with the constant (since this episode started) references to him going out with new people. Molly apologizes and asks, "You wanna know why I make all those stupid jokes?" Bad writing? No, apparently it's because she's trying to deal with the idea that after she dies, Daniel will move on. "That the world will just go on without me and everyone will forget I was here." That's a valid fear, especially on this show. I know I intend to scrub her from my memory as soon as her character gets written off. Daniel promises that he will never forget her. Never!
Betty's desk. She's leaving a message for Jody because she hasn't heard from the New York Review yet. While she waits, she considers removing Henry from her Facebook Friends list. Drama! Marc rolls in (literally, he's in an office chair) and brags about having so many offers he doesn't know what to do. This turns out to be a lie, because he's only fishing for information about Betty's prospects, and his false confidence evaporates when Betty tells him she's got an offer, although they haven't actually called yet. Marc insists that he gave a great interview at Vogue and further claims that he would have made a great junior editor. Betty tells him he should call them and push a bit. Marc thinks that's a good idea. "If they're gonna reject me, then they have to tell me why." He leaves. Then he comes back and thanks her, which is nice. Betty decides to take her own advice and call the New York Review to get the scoop.
Y.E.T.I. office. Betty is furious. "You stole my job?" Jody looks up at her. Yep, pretty much. Jody would like Betty not to shout at her, because she was in such a good mood. She apologizes a bit, but follows that up by complaining about "cheery twentysomethings" waltzing in and taking what she's always wanted. Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Daniel mentioned that the New York Review never hires anyone and we already knew there was practically an industry-wide hiring freeze. Surely Jody needs a job, too. Betty complains that Jody was her hero, but Jody has had a lousy year, with a dead cat, lost 401K, and the hitting on gay guys. "I am just so tired of helping other people get what they want. Who said I'm done?" She's got a valid point, but it's still unethical to backstab Betty like that. Betty leaves.
Wili is in the HEALTH and WELLNESS room, getting pins stuck in her face to relieve the pain caused by playing tennis. But she's satisfied because she has information that will split up Cal and Claire. Marc, however, is somber. Because he has a job offer from Vogue. He'll be starting in two weeks!
Betty is leaving a tearful message for Matt, who will get the message after his art class. Then she sees that according to his Facebook status, Henry is enjoing a Creamsicle Float in City Park. Bereft of companionship from Matt, Betty considers going.
Molly is asleep in bed. Naturally, I now assume she's dead any time she's immobile for more than five seconds. But she wakes up when Daniel walks in. He wants to show her the new cover of the wedding issue. It's her! In a white dress! So much for all that planning that Wili and Claire did over in the other plot! "It's gonna sell millions. I promise you. Everyone will know Molly was here." Yeah, that's the ticket to true immortality, all right: being on the cover of a magazine. Incidentally, the tagline is still "Black is Back", which doesn't match the dress.
Henry and Betty are on benches in the park. He expresses sympathy for her job being stolen. He also admits that the reason he kept updating his Facebook with his precise location is that he wanted her to find him. Betty tells him she's moving in with Matt, and he looks a little sad, but asks if she loves him. She does. She tells him that he was her first love. Wait, Henry was her first love? What about the feeb from the first season? The one who worked at the electronics store. And Gio! Have you seen Grindhouse? That guy kills zombies, and that's a good trait in a boyfriend. Anyway, Henry says that Matt's a great guy and Betty says that Chloe is a great girl. They both laugh at Chloe. Nice. Betty decides that she'll just have to accept that she'll always be a little bit in love with Henry.
Henry says that he guesses this is goodbye, and then they hug. And kiss. And keep kissing. And, with the inevitability of television, we pull back to see Matt watching. He looks sad and walks away. I don't know if this counts as a standard television misunderstanding, since that kiss did go on a little long for something that was supposedly purely platonic.
End of episode! Except that this is a two-hour finale! So... never mind! We keep going!
Betty tells us about a dream she has, in which she's eating a hot dog when Antonio Sabato, Jr. walks up, speaks in Henry's voice, and kisses her. Then Matt calls her a cheater.
Back in the waking world, Hilda tells Betty that no matter how guilty she feels, she absolutely should not tell Matt that she kissed Henry. If it meant nothing, let it lie. Betty says that Matt's coming back from his painters' retreat (so it's been at least a few days since the kiss) and she plans to tell him.
Justin comes down to the living room because the nominees for the MAMA awards ("Magazine And Media Association") are being announced live, and they're like his fifth favorite awards show. Hilda assures him that he's very cultured to have so many favorite awards shows and that he's sure to get into "that performing arts high school." [Because the performing arts are all about the awards. - Z]
Rachel Maddow appears to be announcing the nominees. It's a guest-star-palooza! Over at Wili's pad, Marc brings her a bite of bagel in time for the announcement of "Best Fashion Magazine Issue of the Year". The Mode Magazine Wedding Issue gets a nomination, which Wili is not thrilled about sharing with "that drooling idiot." [It's already been nominated for an award? Hasn't it been out for, like, a day? - Z]
Daniel is, in fact, drooling. But it's not his fault. He's asleep. Molly is not on screen for two seconds, but before I can say "She's dead!" there she is, waking him up to tell him he's been nominated. She's more happy about it than he is, because she's on the cover. Daniel says that she had a fever last night and insists that she go to sleep. She refuses and talks about how she wants to see him on stage accepting a trophy.
Wilhelmina arrives at Mode. Marc throws flowers around and makes people cheer her. She wants the press, but they're interviewing Claire, who is dressed oddly. Marc is appalled: "Look at them fawning over her, like she's Obama's Portuguese Water Dog!" Ooh, timely! Claire asks if there are any other questions, and Wili loudly asks a question that features the key phrases "Madison, South Dakota" and "Inner Child". Claire ends the press conference hastily and Wili takes her place. These guys should really learn to stop having press conferences where their archenemies can torpedo them like that.
Betty congratulates Daniel with a partially-eaten cookie that's sort of in the shape of an "M". Daniel is not at the press conference because he's working. Really? Will wonders never cease. He wants Betty to go find Penny Meadows and make her turn in her Yves St. Laurent piece. Betty is nervous. Why? "It's just... she's mean. And scary." Betty, if you want to be an editor, you'll need to learn to bully people into turning in their stuff. Trust me. I've been on both ends of this deal. Daniel sends her off.
"What the hell do you want, eyebrow?" Penny is wearing enormous round black-framed glasses. And she's Rachel Dratch. Penny's office is messy and has wooden furniture, which makes it not really fit in at Mode. Penny makes Betty open the window so she can yell at pigeons. She tells Betty that you "can't rush art" (which I'm pretty sure means she hasn't even started the article) and then crawls out on the window ledge to shoo the pigeons away. Betty gets a call from Matt saying he's outside.
Betty and Matt are at a sidewalk cafe. Hey, he really was outside! Matt's latest piece has two people in gas masks eating by candlelight. They're in gas masks, according to Matt, because "it's protecting them from the foul stench of their lies." Huh. Cheery! Betty tells Matt that she has something she wants to talk to him about. He's glad to hear it, and leans forward. Betty says, "Before we move in, I think that you should know..." and just then, Penny plummets out of the sky to land on a car across the street. I don't know about you, but I find it kind of hard to care about Molly's impending Tragic Death, when there are Comedy Deaths happening at the same time. I'm not saying you can't have Rachel Dratch on to die hilariously. I'm just suggesting that it might undercut the seriousness of the deaths on your show.
Suzuki St. Pierre tells us the story of Penny's fall, but I think it's just an excuse for the line "On my Sexy Death meter, this one barely rates a three!" That certainly raises questions. First of all, who has a "sexy death meter"? Second, what does it take to only get a two? For that matter, what does a ten look like? Anyway, Betty and Daniel are in his office. Betty suggests organizing a memorial, even though Penny didn't have friends. Daniel likes the idea of a coffee cart! He also broaches the question of how to deal with Penny's workload. Betty cautiously brings up maybe the possibility of, you know -- and Daniel agrees that Betty's perfect for the job. Betty says they shouldn't tell anyone for a few days. Because of the grieving process.
In the Suarez house, there is confetti and cheering. Betty begs them not to come to the office with balloons. Aw, man. I'd be thrilled if someone came to my office with a balloon. And Ignacio has cake! When Betty looks disapproving, Ignacio says they can go light a candle for Penny. Justin also wants to pray to St. Vitus, who, as the patron saint of actors, presumably has pull at the performing arts school. This school is like Wili's baby; nobody ever calls it by its name! Hilda assures Justin he'll get in. Hilda also thinks it's a good thing that Betty didn't get a chance to tell Matt. She thinks Betty's got a new job and a new living situation and shouldn't screw it up. She'll only hurt him!
Amanda is sitting on Marc's desk feeding lies to his replacement, Ryan. She only gets as far as telling him to call Wilhelmina "honey" and greet her with a big mouth-kiss every morning. When Marc shows up and catches her at it, she admits to hating Ryan. "You can't just replace yourself with another gay guy!" she says, even though Ryan protests that he's not gay, but neither of them believes him. Amanda leaves, passing an entering Wilhelmina. Ryan falls down, but still manages to hand Wili a file.
Claire wants to speak with Wilhelmina. They recap the bit about Cal impregnating Claire, and Claire says that she had an abortion, and took a year recovering. Wili applies the thumbscrews, telling Claire to step down as Senior Vice President of Meade and to stay out of Mode business. And she wants Claire to announce it at the MAMA awards.You know, it's not a bad suggestion. I mean, Wili's the only person on this show who's ever shown any talent in actually running Mode. Daniel and Claire should just get the hell out of her way and let her run an excellent fashion magazine that will make them lots of money. Claire snarls and leaves. Mark and Wili gloat together, recapping their good times together. Like stealing Bradford's will and having Christina arrested for kidnapping her own baby. Marc reflects that they should really be in jail. Finally, Wilhelmina tells him she'll miss him and they hug. Ryan enters to tell Wili that Penny's memorial is about to start, and Wili tells Marc she wants to talk to him about something.
The memorial is highlighted by a big wacky shot of Penny. Betty says it's the one where she was happiest. Matt calls Betty to try to get her to tell him about the kiss, but she doesn't. He looks vexed. And irked. Suddenly, Amanda shrieks about a ghost. It's Rachel Dratch! We're running the Previously Unknown Twin angle, which is always fun. This time, she's wearing different glasses to show that she's a different character. So this is Mindy.
Wili appears and insists that the memorial start so she can get to her eyelash tinting and is then delighted to see a place to get a latte. Betty starts to give a speech, but she's interrupted by the sound of a blender. I guess that coffee cart wasn't the best plan. Marc takes the podium and announces that he's the new Fashion Editor. But that's Betty's job! And Betty's ticked off! Oh, no he didn't! Marc tells Betty that she is losing as a result of her snoozing, but Betty shouts that she went after Penny's job the second she died. Mindy wants to know if this is still about her sister. Wacky!
Wili and Daniel are in Daniel's office arguing. Betty and Marc (and Amanda, who's on Marc's side) glare at each other. Marc says that he turned down the Vogue job when he accepted the job that Wili offered him. Betty asks Amanda how come she's not on the side of Betty, who took her in when she had nowhere to live. Amanda claims that Betty just wanted a sucker for her Ponzi scheme, because she doesn't know what that is. Finally, Wili and Daniel come out of their meeting and Amanda scrams. Here's the deal: they've downloaded all the information from Penny's hard drive. They'll give it all to both Betty and Marc, and whoever writes the best piece will get the job. Wili wants to fire the loser, but Daniel assures them that the loser will just stay an assistant. That's less fun.
Councilman Archie, Hilda, and Ignacio are in the Suarez kitchen when Justin squeals at an envelope. "It's from LaGuardia." "Airport?" asks Archie, but no, it turns out that "LaGuardia" is the name of the performing arts school. That's the joke, I guess. Justin and Hilda are too tense to open it, but Ignacio goes ahead and does it. Justin has been rejected. And the news that he can apply again year does not mollify him Councilman Archie says that things that are worth it sometimes take time. He should tell that to Betty. Justin looks confused and says "I just wanted to go now!"
Daniel comes up to Betty's desk and assures her that she'll win. Will she? I believe that she's a better writer than Marc, but I also believe that Marc knows more about Yves St. Laurent than she does. Amanda slinks up to Betty's desk as mysterious funk music plays. Betty's looking at pictures of pigeons, so Amanda naturally asks if that's Betty's family. Hasn't Amanda met Betty's family? Anyway, this is all that's on Penny's hard drive: pictures of pigeons. Amanda tells Betty that Penny always worked from home and only came in to get yellow office pads "or to take a quick whore's bath in the ladies' room." Betty thanks Amanda, who leaves.
Matt shows up at Betty's desk, and I've just noticed that they don't appear to have any kind of security around this place. He wants to go to lunch with her, so we cut outside where they are on park benches. Matt pokes around about Henry and asks if Betty saw him again before they left. Betty admits that she saw him briefly, but that it was not a big deal. Matt pounces on that statement, telling her that he saw them kiss. He accuses her of lying to him. She says that they were just saying goodbye, and he doesn't believe her. He gets up to leave, and she wants to talk about it. Matt gets in her face telling her that he'd never kiss anyone else. He opened up to her! He wanted them to move in together, "and this is what you do to me!" He stomps off and Betty looks stricken. Oh, just let him leave. He's a sex addict with commitment issues, and I still think there was something about all those lies he was telling that were supposed to be "jokes".
Betty talks to Hilda, complaining that Hilda's advice didn't work. And a year ago, everything seemed so clear: she wanted a promotion and her own place in the city. She didn't even want a boyfriend and now it's all she can think about! Hilda tells her to focus on work, and Betty looks at Penny's home address.
Daniel arrives home while telling someone on the phone to tell Dave he needs those prints or else. Wow, Daniel's doing a lot of work this episode. And where's Molly? Is she dead? No, she's laid out a lovely dinner and wants him to relax for a second. she also wants his thoughts on her dress. His thoughts are: sex first, then lunch.
Marc is picking through Penny's apartment when Betty arrives. Betty insists that they're both entitled to the same information, but that will be hard to find in this cat-infested maze of stuff. All Marc's been able to find are boxes and boxes of menthol cigarettes and vintage porn (a magazine called "Sporty"). Marc, wearing rubber gloves, complains about having to handle bras, which he refers to as "female jockstraps". "I allowed myself to get beat up all through high school so I wouldn't have to handle things like this!" There's also a lot of beef jerky, which Betty identifies as one of the smells on Penny's breath.
Suddenly! Mindy (Penny's twin? C'mon, it was just 30 minutes ago!) shows up and shouts at them. Marc tries to get Betty to hug Mindy, but Mindy doesn't go for it. Why are they wrecking Penny's apartment? Betty explains that they want to put together Penny's last Yves St. Laurent piece and publish it in Mode. "For Penny," Marc helpfully adds. Yes, that's the angle. Mindy finds a stack of yellow papers covered in insane chicken scratchings and then throws it out the window. Then she orders Betty and Marc out of the apartment.
That night, Betty is getting drunk along with Amanda and Marc in the Manhattan apartment. Betty and Marc have margarita glasses and Amanda is drinking from the blender. Betty complains about her day and also about Daniel and Wili. Amanda calls Marc and Betty idiots, which prompts Marc to observe that Amanda's a mean drunk. Amanda's point is that they're both whining a lot. And also, Amanda needs someone to win so she can glom onto them. And with Marc's brains and Betty's "Aztec build", Amanda feels they can do anything. She has no more specific advice, because she is exceedingly drunk. Betty suggests to Marc that they join forces.
Betty and Marc lay envelopes between Wili and Daniel. What are they? "Our letters of resignation." Yeah! That'll show those jerks for making you fight for their amusement. They think they're equally qualified and anyway, the notes for the article flew out the window. Marc and Betty put their points rationally or calmly, although Marc emphasizes the word "fashion" a couple of times while waving at Betty's ridiculous outfit. Daniel and Wili dismiss them so they have some time to discuss it. Marc and Betty rush back to Betty's desk and hyperventilate. Marc grabs one of Betty's stuffed bunnies as Betty goes off to deal with Matt in her feeling of empowerment.
Betty finds Matt in front of his art school and apologizes and tells him that she loves him and wants to be with him. Matt says he needs to go to class. I guess they're not night classes anymore, what with it being afternoon and all. Which makes sense. Painting is probably easier when you have light. She gives him a ticket to the MAMA awards and says she hopes he'll come. He walks away without a word.
In Daniel's apartment, Molly is doing up his cufflinks and gently mocking him for wanting notes for his potential acceptance speech. She kisses him and he notices that she has a fever. He wants to stay home, but she makes him go. She says she'll take a nap and get there in time for his category. He takes a deep breath and agrees, although he says he'll have the nurse come by to check on her.
Exciting dancy fashion music! Which means that Suzuki St. Pierre should be showing up soon. And there he is! Wili walks past Claire and Daniel and whispers to Claire that she's looking forward to her announcement. When Amanda and Marc get there, they pose to Suzuki, prompting him to look at Amanda's dress and say "Ooh, look! Somebody's been picking through Liz Hurley's old rags from 1994!" Amanda apparently heard that as "Amanda looks exactly like Liz Hurley!" so she's not mad. Betty has brought Justin, who's excited. He gets even more excited when they bump into Antonio Sabato Jr. and tries to make Betty tell him about the dream. He's feeling a little better, but now feels he's doomed to be a plumber his whole life. Just then! Marc shows up and grabs Justin's arm, saying "Hey you! Betty's son! Come with me to the swag room. I wanna get two bags." Justin cheerfully agrees and off they go.
Matt is walking wistfully through the banquet area when Cal finds him. Matt tells him he came to see Betty.
Yes! A scene with Justin and Marc! I love that. They're great together. Justin is pouring his heart out to Marc, saying he doesn't know how he didn't get into the performing arts school. Marc breezily assures him that he's great. Justin doesn't want to wait a year. Marc identifies the real problem as being that Justin is about to start public high school in Queens. Marc admits that that can suck. Justin talks in a roundabout way about fitting in with new people and how LaGuardia might have had more people that, y'know, like the same things he likes. Marc knows what the score is and tells Justin that he got through public high school, and that he should either find or make a niche. Good advice, only slightly undercut by the fact that Marc mentioned earlier this episode that he got beat up all through high school. Still, Justin looks like he feels better, and I like how that scene was handled.
Matt and Cal are at the bar. Matt thinks he should be able to let Betty's kiss go. Cal tells an anecdote about how he has always loved his first motorcycle and the moral is that Matt will always be competing with the memory of Henry. Cal says that when he's in that sort of situation, he gets mad and then channels that anger into work. Then he appears to offer Matt a job.
In the swag room, Wili is appalled at the lack of good swag. Marc hands her Daniel's speech notes so that Daniel will be tongue-tied and Wili can take over. Because he's an excellent assistant. As Marc leaves, Daniel comes in and tells Wilhelmina they need to make a choice between Marc and Betty. Wili picks Marc! Daniel doesn't go for it, so Wili decides they should flip a coin because they're equally qualified. They're not equally qualified at all. Betty doesn't know anything about fashion and Marc has never shown an aptitude for writing. They're equally unqualified. They flip a quarter in slow motion. Very slow motion.
The nominees for Photographer of the Year are announced. Annie Leibovitz wins for Vanity Fair. I hope it was that Miley Cyrus picture. Justin is filled with ennui. Daniel comes up to Betty and pulls her aside to tell her it's hers. She is the new Features editor. She's delighted and giddy, although she becomes somber when she sees Wili breaking Marc's heart. And he turned down that Vogue job!
It's time for the Fashion Magazine of the Year, and the winner is the Mode Wedding Issue! Amanda is loudly, drunkenly happy. Well, now that they're on top of the world again, presumably they don't need Cal's money anymore, right? I guess not. Daniel and Wilhelmina go up to accept the award, which Wili grabs before Daniel can get to it. Daniel fumbles for his cards, and Wili moves to step in. But then Daniel sees Molly standing to Betty and is inspired to give a speech about love and fate and growth and all that. He ends it with "And to my wife Molly, I love you."
A waiter walks in front of Molly and she vanishes. Did she go away? No, she was never there. It was a Sixth Sense deal. Molly was dead all along! Well, for that couple of seconds, anyway. Daniel rushes off.
Wili drinks at the bar as Claire tells her she won't be stepping down. Cal leans in to tell Wili he already knows everything and that it's none of her business. Claire smirks as she says that she and Cal have been talking and want to reevaluate Wili's position at Mode. You mean the position that Cal insisted that Wili keep? Sigh. I know the show isn't logical and exists in a drama field, but I still wish characters would remain relatively coherent from episode to episode.
From her new office, Betty calls home, where Justin, Hilda and Ignacio are excited for her. (One of the forum posters would like to know how exactly Justin got home. I am going to assume it was in a big, glittery limousine!) Betty hangs up when Matt walks into her new office. He wants to know if Betty still loves Henry, and he doesn't like the idea of a part of Betty still loving him. He claims that Betty was his first love and that she's told him all he needs to hear. "I'm saying we're over." Fine by me. Get lost. Oh, but it won't be that easy. Cal has offered Matt a job at Mode as Betty's new boss. That's just stupid. So now Matt's a vindictive jerk to go along with all that other stuff. Anyway, isn't Matt supposed to get bored with things after a couple of weeks? Surely he'll just go off and start studying the trombone or something when he gets sick of moping at Betty. And what happened to that hiring freeze?
Wili tells a mysterious person that her position is being undermined, and that she needs enough money to push out Cal Hartley. So she needs a lot of money, and the only person she knows with that much is... Connor!" You want him alive?" asks the tough-looking guy she's hiring. "As long as I get the money, I... I really don't care." Then she walks into the room and drops her drink in shock. "What are you doing here?" Bum bum bummm!
Daniel arrives home to see paramedics loading a body into an ambulance. Molly's dead! This time I'm pretty sure I'm right, because she's in a body bag and everything. It's all so terribly tragic, I guess. Cyndi Lauper is doing an acoustic version of "Time After Time" on the soundtrack (it's the one from "The Body Acoustic", I believe). Claire looks at a certificate of adoption for "Boy Child" and then burns it. Amanda hangs on Marc, who is sad. Betty gets a text message from Daniel, who needs her. Hey, she ain't your assistant anymore! That doesn't stop her from rushing to his side, of course. A devastated Daniel holds onto Betty as we pull up and out.
The end!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vlogger Sean Crespo thinks America Ferrara is too pretty to play "Ugly Betty" in No Prior Knowledge!
Monty has a blog devoted to Movie Novelizations, cleverly entitled Monty on Movie Novelizations. You can email him at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.