By Chuck
Well, per Antonia’s final request, Stephanie does kick their asses, but it’s not as fun as it should be. She takes the title in a lackluster cook off that pairs the final three with famous sous chefs and ample trays of random proteins. Plus a structured four-course tasting menu, served head to head: fish, then poultry, then red meat, then dessert. Yes, dessert. What? You didn’t spend the last few months perfecting a passable molten chocolate cake? Well, you just might not be Top Chef material.
Stephanie enjoys first choice of sous chef, and wisely chooses Eric Ripert, while Richard pairs off with Blue Hill’s Dan Barber and the shockingly under-congratulated and strangely even-keeled Lisa gets surprisingly chummy with Spotted Pig’s April Bloomfield. Stephanie goes for simple and elegant, Richard has trouble settling on his menu, and Lisa heads straight for Asia. Richard gives Ripert a cute demo of cooking with liquid nitrogen, and Ripert seems genuinely impressed.
The twist, which no one could possibly have seen, is the fact that all three sous chefs call in sick the day of the serve-off. Not sick enough to stay home from dinner, however, a black tie affair for nine that pairs formal attire with business casual fare. Stephanie impresses with a delicate fish dish, quail with lobster ravioli, and a counterintuitive lamb that pairs olives with highly complimented braised pistachios, although she ends with a rather dumpy cheesecake. Lisa’s performance lobbies for her inclusion in the final three, with kudos for her coconut soup and black rice pudding.
Richard, throwing himself under the Toyota Corolla, volunteers that he choked, and he totally did -- really, he gets the most praise for his banana scallops, making their third appearance this season. Gail tries to turn Richard’s admission into some drama, but it’s just not happening. The fourth seasons wraps with a whimper as the show crowns its first female victor, although we can all look forward to the “Everyone Hates Lisa” reunion episode.
Check out some of TV's best cooks here!Many thanks to Kim for last week's deft recapping. Now, if you can see around the massive chip on Lisa's shoulder, on with the finale! After correctly surmising that Richard and Stephanie (here acting as surrogates for all of TV Land) were shocked that Antonia was dismissed, and having the gall to scold them for failing to offer immediate congratulations for "her fucking bronze medal," Lisa (as usual) is on the warpath. At least there's no live studio audience to muck things up.
Stephanie, Richard and Lisa convene in a verdant courtyard for the most important meal of the day, as Stephanie reminds us that there's never been a female Top Chef and that she would like to be the first. She asks her competition if they're feeling excited, with one of the least excited voices I've ever heard, and they respond in kind. The level of excitement at the table is overwhelming in its absence. Richard says he's "ready to cook" like he's actually ready for nothing of the sort, before seeming confused by whatever aroma his eggs Benedict are emitting, and explaining to the camera that with a career, a wife, a baby on the way, and a new house, he's got everything to lose. Yeah, everything and fifteen pounds. Oh, and he's still shocked that Lisa managed to out cook Antonia and round out the final three. She's not a leader, she's got "a bad attitude," and she doesn't deserve to win.
As for Sourpuss Greasylocks, she knows she's only there "by the skin of my teeth," but, true to form, she doesn't care that Stephanie and Richard have consistently outperformed her. "I'm about to beat you," she tells the cameraperson, as she rattles on about nerves, or not nerves, to Richard and Stephanie, who seem really, really excited.
Breakfast over, it's time for the details of the final challenge. Padma (yes, in blue), Colicchio, three white-coated chefs and three abundant platters of food await Richard, Stephanie and Lisa. On a tree-shaded, seaside garden path, Padma congratulates the finalists, remarks that they "are about to cook the most important meal of your life," and introduces the chefs -- April Bloomfield of The Spotted Pig, Dan Barber of Blue Hill, and voluptuously-featured Eric Ripert of Le Bernardin. They did manage to pull an all-star team, although all three are New York chefs -- seems like there should be at least one Chicagoan in the mix. Richard and Lisa are suitably impressed by the assembled culinary firepower.
They go shopping at the Whole Foods in Hawaii, and a local market. Nina is worried about doing a dessert, but she has a nice ice cream recipe in her back pocket for this exact purpose. Nicholas is still burnt from being asked if maybe he should resign after a deplorable performance late in the game with immunity. In the kitchen, Travis realizes there's no ice cream machine. It's time to think.
At Nicholas's restaurant, his men get to work on the crudo, scallop noodle, and cured duck. Nina arrives at her kitchen, panicking to come up with a dessert without ice cream. She assigns Stephanie to craft some fancy Italian doughnut. Shirley works on the appetizer as Stephanie also does the pasta course. Travis is making swordfish.
Back in Dude Kitchen, Tom and Emeril stop by for a visit. Nicholas says he's going to do a redemption dessert, the panna cotta he got burned for earlier in the competition. Tom asks him if he is at all intimidated by Nina's flagrant use of spices and seasoning. Nicholas doesn't really answer that with more than a platitude about "throwing it all away and cooking."
Tom and Emeril visit Nina to play some mind games with her about her dessert. She refuses to be toyed with and sticks to her guns (her second guns, after there wasn't an ice cream machine for the first set). As time runs out, Nina is most worried about the pasta dish Stephanie is working on, especially the baby goat that's cooking. These are the things one does not wish to know about their food.
There's still more time for reflecting, as Nina and Nicholas head back to the suite for a glass of wine with Tom and Emeril. Tom is wearing his casual straw fedora to ask casual questions like, "what didn't get done?" Then, Nina and Nicholas's families walk out to join them. They all hug and sit down for a meal with Casual Tom, who couldn't be bothered to dress for this reunion.
We learn more about their histories and families, mainly Nick's, who it seems can't shut up after a glass or two.
The day of the final service, Nicholas is all hopped up on adrenaline. Brian trusts him as a leader and as an executive chef. Nick preps his servers by telling them his restaurant is named after his wife, Chris. "Service will be relatively intense," he tells these fearful staff members in Hawaiian shirts.
Meanwhile, Nina is anxious to check on the goat. So far it is not nearly tender enough. While the goat gets braised and cooked down, she encourages her servers to taste the bread and butter for the service, which is garnished with a little curry salt. At Nick's restaurant, he wants to stage a tasting of his dishes but he's missing a few servers so he claps his hands together a few times in anxious rage, then fires them without their knowledge. He's being a real asshole already.
Nina's restaurant, Canoan, named for the island her dad is from, opens. A professional hostess seats Tom, Gail, David Kinch, Takashi Yagihashi and another woman. Over at Chris, Nick's restaurant, the eliminated contestants are seated, away from Padma, Emeril, Hugh Acheson, Iron Chef Morimoto and Paul Bartolotta.
Nina's service begins with the bread service, breadfruit with a whipped foie gras butter. The first official course is a tuna and escolar tartar with tomato water and jalapeno.
Over at Nicholas's restaurant, he's flying off the handle about service. I don't know how to describe it except he's being a real asshole to everyone. He micro-manages every aspect, muttering "fish lands on the left, guys, fish lands on the left." Also, don't touch his pots. He had three pots, don't fucking touch them. So yeah, he presents his first course: hamachi and tuna crudo with three different preparations of green apple. Always with the three different preparations. They agree that it's good but the flavor is too subtle. He should add more salt, pretty much always. His course is a sweet shrimp bisque, scallop and daikon noodles with basil. It's his dish he collaborated on with Jason, who he feels great about. Morimoto doesn't know why he's using the scallop. Bartolotta doesn't know about this one, as it's not sweet. This is a tough crowd.
Back at Nina's place, the braised goat is ready for the judges. She brings out the roasted goat sugo with orechiette and goat cheese with cherry tomatoes. They are loving this baby goat. Nina's dish is Travis's swordfish with squash puree, braised kale and a smoked onion jus. Tom thinks this dish is a little less successful of a melting pot. The diners also want it to be more exciting.
Nicholas is looking for the best pieces of duck for the judges, and realizes upon tasting it that it's a bit tough. He encourages Luis to push it towards medium. He brings the kombu cured seared duck out with kabocha squash and ginger. The duck is inconsistent, and Emeril's is so chewy he won't let it go any time soon. His dessert comes out without the spoons he asked for. Nicholas freaks out visibly. What an ass. He re-presents his panna cotta and it's kind of a failure in texture again. Padma says overall, though, it's great.
Nina brings out a compressed dragon fruit and ginger syrup intermezzo, followed by her zeppole, that crazy chocolate Italian donut. The judges agree the dessert isn't complete and it ends the meal with a whisper and not a bang. I'm nervous for Nina, I want her to win.
Back at Nick's restaurant for Men and Men, things aren't going well with service or expediting. They've been going to the wrong tables. He aggressively suggests they figure it out, but these Hawaiians aren't responding to tough love. He serves the second group of judges his first course and they agree it lacks seasoning. The second dish goes over better because it has seasoning. Tom calls the scallop noodles the best dish he's had all year.
Padma and her judges love Nina's bread course and prefer Nina's crudo course to Nick's. The second course also goes over extremely well here. They're having a great time, all of them. These third dishes have mixed results, as before. Nick's duck goes by a little more evenly this time, but his service is getting out of hand. He snipes at them to figure it out, then as they try to figure it out he shouts "god damn it!" like a fucking child. Gail Simmons calls this moment awkward.
The dessert courses roll out to the judges again and Tom says the panna cotta isn't quite a redemption but is vastly improved. They agree that Nick peaked at the right time and they'd be happy to have this meal at any restaurant any time. The judges agree Nina's swordfish dish is "too much of everything" and the dessert is just OK.
Finally, Nina and Nick face the judges for final congratulations and feedback. Gail confronts Nick about his yelling in the back immediately. Oh, by the way, that fish was under-seasoned again. They tell him everything they thought of his dishes throughout the service. They follow up with Nina, and her feedback seems to go over a bit better. The chefs are excused for a long deliberation.
The judges agree that Nina wins the first course, the crudo. The second courses are almost tied, but Nina gets a slight edge. The third courses are tied for "meh," but Nick is ahead by a bit. They also give Nick the win for the dessert course. Hugh Acheson calls this a tie, but Tom is not convinced it's a tie. It seems like Tom wants to go with Nick as the winner, but Padma votes that they consider service (plus all the extras Nina provided, and the fact that her stronger dishes were better than Nick's stronger dishes). Hugh mentions that they saw Nick lashing out at his servers and they all heard him lose his temper. Tom doesn't look convinced that it should matter. He's the hold-out. Tom is being an asshole, sticking up for assholes. Emeril mentions that he ate his swordfish and couldn't eat his duck. Tom is really being a codger.
Finally, everyone gathers back in front of the judges. It's probably like, two in the morning at least, which might feel like mid-morning depending on jetlag. After lots of dramatic camera angles and music, Padma announces that Nick is the Top Chef. This is a shock to me, and I can tell by the smug look on Tom's face that he pulled some strings and threw his weight around for this one. Fuck this, there's no justice. Come back for All-Stars, Nina, and don't accept Tom's consolatory back-patting.