Healthy Choices

Recapped by Kim · Aired 01-02-2013 · S10E09

Quickfire Challenge: The cheftestants compete in teams of three to test their knife skills. The first round involves sharpening knives so that they can cut paper. The second round involves turning potatoes, which means cutting them into a very specific shape. The team that moves on to the third round is Sheldon, Josh and Micah, who have to compete against one another to cut down two rabbits. Micah ends up winning a very fancy knife and bragging rights.

Immunity Challenge: Cook a dish based on a highlight from one of the nine seasons, but make it healthier. Here are the dishes:

Josie had Season 1, "I'm not your bitch, bitch" and made herb roasted chicken with parsnip puree and steamed root vegetables. The judges thought it was fine, but not exciting.

Stefan had Season 2, the Betty/Marcel fight and made roasted red pepper soup with bacon and grilled mimolette cheese sandwich. The judges think the sandwich is a little too greasy, but the soup is good.

John had Season 3, Howie's confrontation with Anthony Bourdain, and he made umami risotto with chicken, salmon roe, burdock root and carrot emulsion. The judges think the rice in the risotto isn't cooked properly.

Sheldon had Season 4, one of the many Dale Stew Room brawls, and he made beef Carpaccio with poi aioli, mizuna and mushroom salad and silken tofu foam. The judges don't like the presentation, but some of the side dishes are okay.

Lizzie had Season 5, "It's Top Chef, not Top Scallop," and made seared scallops with roasted fennel, garlic puree, orange and olive salad. Lizzie knew the scallops weren't good, but she didn't have an alternative so she had to serve them. The problem is that the judges can tell that the scallops are subpar.

Josh had Season 6, when they cooked for the Air Force, and made soy-glazed pork tenderloin with smoked cashew puree and heirloom peaches. The judges think the pork is cooked well, and the complement goes well.

Brooke had Season 7, when the pea puree got stolen, and she made smoke salmon with forbidden black rice and English pea and parsnip puree. The judge think everything is nicely cooked.

Kristen had Season 8, Carla's chicken pot pie with Jimmy Fallon, and she made poached chicken breast, carrot puree with garlic and tofu emulsion. The judges loved how Kristen lightened the dish, but kept the flavor.

Micah had Season 9, the horrible Bev/Heather collaboration and he made five-spiced duck breast with miso polenta and pickled cherries. Tom liked the duck and the cherries, but the other judges think miso and polenta together are not good.

They bring out five people, with Josh, Brooke and Kristen being the top three, and John and Lizzie being on the bottom two. Kristen is the winner for making a homey dish that didn't look homey and it was healthy while retaining all the flavor of chicken pot pie.

John makes excuses as usual for why his risotto was unevenly cooked. Lizzie knew her scallops were terrible and doesn't even try to excuse it. Padma throws them a twist, which is that they will watch the memorable scene from this season and have a cook-off. The memorable scene is CJ's burger.

As they cook, John and Lizzie spar over sharing ingredients (I blame John) (always). John cooks a lamb burger with fried eggs and spicy pickle, tomato and pomegranate salad. The judges find the burger a bit dry and wonder about the healthiness of the egg, but compliment the salad. Lizzie cooks a chicken burger with goat cheese ricotta and dill pickle roasted red pepper salad. The judges like the burger and the salad -- their only critique is that it could have used a tiny bit more seasoning. Tom says he can't find much to critique about either dish. But then they send John home!!!!!!!12!!!!11! I didn't realize how much I wanted him to go home until he got eliminated. What a dick he was. Please don't let him win Last Chance Kitchen.

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Hey, did you know that Stefan uses wrinkle cream? You do now. I also found out that Stefan is the same age as me, and I can't decide if that's flattering or not. On the one hand, I don't think I look as old as him. On the other hand, he's accomplished a lot more in his life than I have. So I guess it's a draw. Anyway, Sheldon interviews that they're down to nine cheftestants, and the competition is getting tighter. There's also a weirdo interlude where we see that Sheldon sharpens his knives every day. Why is this relevant? We'll find out shortly.

The cheftestants enter the kitchen and find Padma standing there with some dude named Bob Kramer. He's a master bladesmith, which is a super cool job title. Anyway, he makes custom knives for chefs and they sell for thousands of dollars. For the Quickfire, they cheftestants will test their knife skills. There are three rounds. In the first round, they will compete in teams of three to sharpen dull knives. The first two teams to sharpen their knives such that they can cut a piece of paper will advance. In the second round, the teams will have to tourne fifty potatoes. The first team to finish will move on to the final round, where the teammates will compete against one another to break down and French two rabbits. The first cheftestant to do so wins a Bob Kramer knife and gets immunity.

They draw knives to determine teams, and they are as follows: John, Kristen, and Josie are the red team, Josh, Sheldon, and Micah are the blue team, and Stefan, Lizzie, and Brooke are the green team. Padma adds that if they nick themselves, they will be disqualified. They all get to sharpening. John keeps peer pressuring his teammates to get their knives checked, worried that someone will beat them to it. The green team gets checked first, but Brooke's knife isn't sharp enough so they have to keep trying. John calls for a check of the red team even though Kristen thinks her knife isn't sharp enough, and then John's knife is the one that's too dull. HA HA HA! John does a bit more sharpening and the red team is the first to finish. The blue team finishes , so the green team is out.

Moving on to round two, tourne fifty potatoes. Josie explains that you have to cut the potatoes into seven-sided footballs. Here's a shocker: John is an expert at this. Josie nicks herself and gets disqualified, and her team must continue without her. So now there are two people going against three, but John's sure he can make up the difference. The blue team finishes and calls for a check, and the judge says they're good.

By Kim

So the final round is Micah, Sheldon, and Josh competing against one another to break down a rabbit. Josh comments that it's the same to break down a rabbit as a cat. Yikes. They do have a finished example to look at, but Josh has trouble Frenching the rack with a chef's knife. Micah explains that he just goes into Zen mode and he's the first one done. The judge checks his work and it's good enough to win! Micah gets immunity and a custom knife. Everyone is jealous.

So let's move on to the Elimination Challenge! It's the tenth season, so each cheftestant will be assigned a memorable moment from a past season, and will have to cook a dish related to that moment. The winning dish will inspire one in the line of the Top Chef branded frozen meals, so they will have to make the dish healthier. The winning cheftestant gets $15K. Each cheftestant gets a video player. Padma says the moment from their season will come into play later. Everyone grabs a video player and starts watching. So then a bunch of time is taken up watching old moments, which is fun, but ends up being not that relevant to what happens in this episode so I'm glossing over it.

They go shopping. Lizzie got Jamie's Top Scallop moment, so she's buying scallops. She's used to cooking scallops in her job, and they're naturally healthy, so she thinks this will be easy. Famous last words.

Back at the loft, everyone shares their memorable moments. Brooke has the stolen pea puree moment, which they all discuss but it's hilarious because no one remembers exactly what happened so it's all speculation. Tom Colicchio has clarified that no pea puree was stolen, despite the editing.

The day, they arrive at their kitchen and start cooking. John explains that he has a moment that involves Anthony Bourdain as a judge. Did you know John first hired Bourdain? And John is a character in his book? Because he's been everywhere and he knows everything. Anyway, John has to make risotto and he's worried since he can't find a flat, level pot. He doesn't seem to spend ALL that much time looking for the right pot, though.

Kristen has to make Carla's chicken pot pie, which was decidedly unhealthy, so she's going to deconstruct it and get rid of the gravy, butter, etc. that made it so delicious but unhealthy. Josh has Michael Voltaggio's braised bacon, so Josh will be cooking pork YET AGAIN. Josie explains that her job at home is teaching people how to eat healthier, and she's passionate about it. Brooke explains that she went through a heavier period (and a photo shows that she's not kidding) so she learned to make her food healthier but also delicious. Micah has the bad collaboration between Heather and Beverly, so he has to make the same dish but make it all work together.

When Lizzie opens her scallops, she realizes that they don't smell fresh, and she's not sure what to do. Check your scallops before you leave the store? Just a thought.

The judges enter. Padma, Tom, and Wolfgang are joined by chefs Wylie Dufresne, Jonathan Waxman, and Chris Cosentino. I can't believe they're having Wylie Dufresne as a judge and not cooking eggs. Meanwhile, the cheftestants are furiously finishing their meals and plating. John explains that risotto isn't difficult to cook, but it has a bad history on the show. So why make it? Also, it's interesting that he feels it isn't difficult since, spoiler, he ends up screwing it up. Stefan explains that he's making a grilled cheese sandwich but in trying to make it healthy, it also lost some flavor, so he snuck in some butter. Does he think the judges won't know he did that? They're pretty sharp.

The dishes are served by season, so Josie is up first with her herb roasted chicken with parsnip puree and steamed root vegetables. To represent Season 2, Stefan made roasted red pepper soup with a bacon and grilled mimolette cheese sandwich. I don't see how you can put bacon on cheese and call it healthy by any stretch of the imagination. John had Season 3 and he made umami risotto with chicken, salmon roe, burdock root, and carrot emulsion.

The judges think that Josie roasted the chicken nicely, and the skin had a nice crunch, but Jonathan says it's just okay, but nothing special. Chris points out the fat content of Stefan's dish, and Wylie calls it "greasy." They do all like the soup, though. Padma mentions that she doesn't like John's risotto and everyone agrees. Wolfgang pinpoints the problem; some of the rice is undercooked and some is overcooked. Tom says that if you cook the risotto well, it doesn't matter what you put in there.

The round of cheftestants are cooking and plating. Josh yells to the room asking for a chinois and no one answers him so he starts cursing. Dude, if anyone had one, they would have offered it up. The silence means no, and if having one was so critical to your dish, you should have nabbed one earlier. Lizzie is worried about her gross scallops; they are releasing liquid as she tries to sear them, so she's not getting a good sear. This could be the end for Lizzie.

The three dishes are served. Sheldon had Season 4 and he made beef Carpaccio with poi aioli, mizuna and mushroom salad and silken tofu foam. Lizzie had Season 5 and made seared scallops with roasted fennel, garlic puree, orange and olive salad. Josh had Season 6 and made soy-glazed pork tenderloin with smoked cashew puree and heirloom peaches.

The judges love Josh's pork, and Wolfgang comments that it's cooked perfectly. Wylie loves the sides. Tom takes the opportunity to tease Padma for the outfit she wore when they visited the Air Force base. Tom claims it was a jumpsuit, but via flashback we see that it was a super tight leopard print skirt and top. Wow, nice hooker wear, Padma. Why advertise? The judges think Sheldon's beef looks awful, even if it tastes good, and Wylie likes the idea of using tofu but notes that Sheldon didn't give it any flavor, so it's useless. Wolfgang calls the scallop quality "dubious" and Tom doesn't think his scallop is cooked well. Jonathan thinks she should have served the dish without the scallop. I don't know if we've ever gotten a strong answer from the judges on whether they would rather have subpar quality food or an incomplete dish.

The final trio of dishes is served. Brooke had Season 7 and she made smoke salmon with forbidden black rice and English pea and parsnip puree. Kristen had Season 8 and she made poached chicken breast, carrot puree with garlic and tofu emulsion. Micah had Season 9 and he made five-spiced duck breast with miso polenta and pickled cherries.

The judges like Micah's duck breast, and Tom points out the pickled cherries as excellent. Jonathan doesn't like the miso polenta, and Wolfgang suggests that he should have grated fresh corn in his polenta to give it flavor but keep it healthy. Tom likes the lightness and flavor of Kristen's dish, and Jonathan is really impressed with how she deconstructed the pot pie. Padma likes the visual appeal of Brooke's dish, and Tom thinks every component is well cooked.

Weird interstitial. Tom says that his most memorable dish from the show was Paul's dashi. Chris loved when that weirdo dude was trying to butcher meat and Tom eliminated him on the spot. Padma brings up when Wolfgang threw a donut, which was pretty awesome.

The cheftestants wait in the makeshift Stew Room until Padma comes in and asks to see Josh, John, Kristen, Lizzie, and Brooke. The remaining people are confused why so many people were called back. Once they're out there, Padma explains that they are the top and the bottom. Josh, Brooke, and Kristen are the top three. Wolfgang compliments Brooke's smoked salmon. Tom likes that Kristen's dish was homey while being healthy. Tom tells Josh that he did a great job cooking the pork FINALLY and they all wanted more. And the winning dish belongs to...Kristen! She might be my pick to win the whole thing. She's really been shining lately.

By Kim

Then Padma tells John and Lizzie that they had the bottom two dishes. Chris tells John that his risotto was improperly cooked. John says he's not making an excuse, but then makes the excuse that there were no level pots in the kitchen. Wolfgang points out that the customer doesn't care about the pots, and John needs to figure out a way to make it work. John continues to blame the equipment until Josh has to speak up and say that he had no trouble finding adequate pots and pans. John claims that Josh just doesn't like him and Tom is totally giggling. Lizzie admits that her scallops were old and they wouldn't sear. Tom and Wolfgang start to critique her and Lizzie covers her face and says that she knows they were horrible. Quite a difference from how John reacts.

Padma says that John and Lizzie will get one more chance to save themselves. Padma shows them the final video player with the memorable moment from this season, and after watching it, they'll have a cookoff to determine who stays. They watch the clip, and learn that they have to make a healthier version of CJ's burger with pickles.

Josh, Brooke, and Kristen return to the Stew Room and tell everyone what happened. Stefan is just happy to hear that he's not in the bottom, and Brooke says that John just made excuses the entire time.

John and Lizzie start cooking. Lizzie asks John immediately for some of his pickles, and John agrees to share. John interviews that he doesn't think it's even fair that he has to do this cookoff, because his dish was bad due to equipment and Lizzie's was bad due to...poor judgment at the store? It's not like hers was bad because she doesn't know how to cook scallops. And regardless, there was always going to be a cookoff between the bottom two, and John's dish may not have been the worst, but it was the second worst. As they cook, Lizzie realizes that John used all of the dill she grabbed. He thought she agreed to share, and apparently share to him means, "I will use it all and you will use none." They have a hard time sharing the kitchen, as John keeps leaving the oven open. John thinks he's the more magnanimous here because he shared the pickles, instead of just hoarding the entire jar. He's such a dick. Who would do that? Ugh.

By Kim

Time to serve! John cooked a lamb burger with fried eggs and spicy pickle, tomato, and pomegranate salad. Chris asks why he put a fried egg on a dish that's supposed to be healthy, and Wolfgang thinks his burger is a little dry, but they do love the salad that comes with it. Lizzie cooked a chicken burger with goat cheese ricotta and dill pickle roasted red pepper salad. Lizzie admits that she used white meat, and Wolfgang is surprised that it's so moist. Chris likes the salad and the ricotta, although he thinks it needs a bit more salt. Tom admits that he can't find much to criticize in either dish, so it's going to be a tough decision.

But a decision will have to be made! I really like Lizzie and I want her to stay. Chris says that he though Lizzie's burger was better. Wolfgang found John's non-burger elements to be better, but Lizzie's actual burger was better so he's voting for her. Tom says that they both had good side dishes, but looking at the actual patty, Lizzie's was better. Padma agrees, so John's out, out, out. Hooray!!!!! John interviews that he got the shaft, and he's not bitter, but it's bullshit. He's bitter. If he was so superior to everyone else in the competition, why didn't he win every week? John interviews that he could have been a really big dick. Could have been? John claims that he could have just kept all the pickles and he would have won. Yes, the judges wouldn't have noticed that you were being an asshole and they would have punished Lizzie. He still doesn't get that it's about the food, not the rules of the competition. God, I'm so glad he's gone. Please don't let him win Last Chance Kitchen.

If you don't want to know about Last Chance Kitchen, stop reading now.

In Last Chance Kitchen, CJ and John had to cook anything they wanted, but their pots and pans were yard sale finds. Ha. I love how they stuck it to John one last time. Thankfully, CJ's scallop in dashi edged out John's lobster and corn veloute, so CJ continues on. Yay!