Trim Your Bangs

Recapped by Kim · Aired 11-07-2012 · S10E01

This season, in order to determine the final group that will move on to compete in Seattle, small groups of chef meet and work with each of the judges in their restaurants doing various challenges. It's an interesting way to start the season; the pacing of the episode is good but I don't feel like I know any of the contestants yet save maybe one or two.

Tom has his group do various tasks in his kitchen. The first guy Tom sends through, John, has been a chef for years but lost some time due to substance abuse issues. And he's also apparently kind of a prick, but he cooks well enough to go to Seattle. Tom ultimately sends home the guy with the waxed moustache and the big, sweaty guy. He sends through the South African lady and a dude named Micah.

Emeril has each chef cook a bowl of soup. One dude makes a chilled gazpacho and actually manages to get it cold in time to serve, so he immediately gets sent to Seattle. Female best friends compete together; only the former model goes through. And the schlubby soon-to-be-dad guy finishes ten minutes early but still makes it.

New judge Wolfgang Puck asks his contestants to make him an omelet. Man, do these people find ways to fuck up an omelet. It seems like everyone screws up something. Wolfgang sends everyone through except the guy who cooked his omelet in bacon grease resulting in poor presentation.

Hugh Acheson asks his group to create a salad. Brooke, a mom, fries up some kale and earns the first chef's coat. The annoying lady with the too-long bangs gets sent packing THANK GOD and the rest of the group goes through.

Look for more details (and actual names of chefs along with what each cooked) in the full recap. The talent level seems high, and there are definitely some memorable characters.

Padma's season introduction informs us that there is a new judge, Wolfgang Puck, joining Tom, presumably Gail (but where is she?), Emeril and Hugh Acheson. Also, as with some seasons, they will start with twenty-one cheftestants and use a test to determine which ones will actually get to be on the show this season. This is great, because it whittles out the completely unqualified chefs who somehow managed to charm their way onto the show, as well as the crazies with no talent. I'll take a crazy with talent any day, but crazies with no talent are just annoying.

The first location to test chefs is Tom Colicchio's Craft in LA. A group of chefs walk into the building, and one of them is John Tesar. Now, I had never heard of this guy since I'm not really up on the celebrity chef scene; if they haven't been on Masters or a judge on this show, I don't know them. So I did a little research, since his interview implied that he's a big deal. And he's a well-known name, but his reputation seems to be more based on being drunk and getting fired than cooking actual good food. Although he can cook good food, too. I read the article they flash on the screen about how he's the Most Hated Chef in Dallas and the part that stuck out at me (besides Tesar playing the victim in his life story) was a quote from a fellow chef who said that Tesar is a good cook but not a good chef, meaning he can make good food but he doesn't have the skills or personality to run a kitchen. So it should be interesting to see him during the team challenges.

A woman named Lizzie, who has a strong South African accent, admits that she's nervous about cooking and she's also nervous to meet Tom, because he's gorgeous and has beautiful blue eyes. Tom Colicchio, sex symbol. I don't see it but I've never met him in person. Maybe he twinkles. [Note: He actually kind of does! It's a little disarming. -- Rachel.]

Tom explains to the assembled group of five cheftestants that he's had tons of dishes while judging many challenges, and only the cheftestants that impress him today will be moving on in the competition, with the rest going home.

potential cheftestant: Jorel the Moustache Man. He has a hipster waxed moustache that curls up at the ends. Come on, dude. What is that about? Unless you are appearing in the chorus for the community theater production of Hello, Dolly, there is no excuse for that kind of affectation. Do you also wear a bowler hat and walk around with three other dudes singing "Lida Rose" in four-part harmony? I'm all for personal expression, but there's a fine line between that and dipshit territory, and this dude has definitely ventured into dipshit territory.

Tom explains to them that his challenge involves the same challenge he gives chefs who want a job with him normally; they'll be working in the kitchen, creating food to serve to actual customers of his restaurant.

Micah, the potential cheftestant, says that you need to be in the mindset that you're going to smash everybody. That seems healthy. Tom shows the group into the kitchen, and tells them to wander around and get their bearings, and he will be by shortly to give them assignment. Tom interviews that he wants to see basic things, like knife skills, but he also wants to see if these chefs can mesh with one another and how they handle being in a kitchen.

Tom starts assigning tasks, and he gives Lizzie the job of shaping and stuffing tortellini. As we watch her work, Lizzie interviews that she's a chef and a mom, and she often feels like she's not giving either job enough attention. Welcome to the world, baby girl. Anyway, Tom seems impressed with Lizzie's tortellini-making skills.

The only guy we haven't yet met, Anthony, is given the task of breaking down whole ducks. Anthony is sweating GIANT beads of sweat while he works. Get this dude a bandanna or something, because he is definitely dripping sweat on to those ducks. Tom chuckles over Anthony's use of a paring knife, which is a little weird -- how does he break through the joints with that thing? Anthony interviews that he's definitely intimidated, and also tells Tom that he's a hot, sweaty mess. No kidding, dude. Anthony also interviews that he really screwed up the first duck he broke down with Tom watching.

Tom assigns John Tesar to fillet and portion salmon. Tom interviews that he's familiar with John's work and reputation: good cook, bad co-worker/boss. Tom asks John why he wants to go on the show, since he's been around a long time. John says that he has a new wife and baby, and he's opening a new restaurant. So he wants publicity. Just admit it, dude. Anyway, John interviews that he came up with people like Mario Batali and Bobby Flay, but he got derailed by casual drug use. Yeah, that was your problem. It had nothing to do with being an asshole and compulsive liar. When Anthony Freaking Bourdain is your biggest and maybe only defender, you've got to take a look at yourself and your choices.

Tom finds Micah, who is filleting black bass. Micah explains that he's the Executive Chef, but he skipped the step of being sous chef, and went right for line cook to Executive. I don't know if that's a big deal or not, because I've never worked in a kitchen, but I guess they wouldn't mention it if it was no great shakes. Anyway, Tom doesn't like how Micah is filleting the fish, so he steps in to show him a better way. Micah interviews that he's shitting bricks.

By Kim

Tom assigns Jorel (what kind of name is that, anyway?) to butcher and break down whole chickens. Jorel interviews that he could butcher a pig with his eyes closed, and chickens are even easier, so this will be a piece of cake. Famous last words. As he breaks down the first chicken, Tom walks by, stops, and stares. That doesn't seem like a good sign. Tom stops and lets Jorel know that he wanted the bone in the breast. Jorel was butchering a chicken like he was going to sell the breasts to the soccer moms in the grocery store (like me) who wants a boneless, skinless chicken breast. Most chefs like bone-in, though, right? For the flavor? Jorel feels like a dummy. Tom interviews that Jorel should have clarified before he started hacking away.

We're going to leave Tom's challenge for a bit, and go see what Emeril's up to in Las Vegas. He's got five potential cheftestants there to test and determine which ones go through. The first cheftestant, Joshua, also has a waxed moustache. What is the deal with those? Anyway, Emeril explains to the assembled group that he'll be putting them through a test to determine if they get to go on to Seattle and compete. He might be picking four of them, or he might be picking just one. Chef Stephanie has a stone face but she interviews that inside, she is feeling "pure fear."

Emeril explains that their challenge is to make soup because it seems simple but it's actually very complicated. Jeffrey, whose last name is Jew which seems... interesting, has a partner named Jim. He also has great skin and looks a little bit like Jude Law in that movie where he was a sex robot. Anyway, they have an hour to cook, so they all run into the kitchen.

Tina tells Emeril that she's using chorizo in her soup, and then interviews that she saw everyone else go for blenders and chinois, so she knows that everyone else is making a puree. She's decided to make a layered soup with many ingredients, and she's adding in oysters and clams to her chorizo.

By Kim

Stephanie and Kristen are best friends and fellow competitors. I like Kristen immediately because she talks about having boob sweat. She looks like a model and she talks about boob sweat. She keeps it real. Anyway, they work together, live in the same apartment building and have matching tattoos. But Stephanie says they're not lesbians, which I'm sure you were wondering. Kristen interviews that she's also a model, but cooking is her true passion. Well, sure. With a face like that and a body like that, why not model to earn some cabbage to support your dream?

Jeffrey tells Emeril that he's making a chilled gazpacho, and Emeril is concerned that he won't be able to get it cold in time. Jeffrey interviews that he's half Chinese and half German/Norwegian. Well, that explains the sexbot looks. What if he and Kristen had a baby? I think the world would explode. Anyway, he's traveled a lot and worked with many different kinds of cuisine, and he thinks that's his competitive edge. He finishes cooking his gazpacho and starts straining it onto a jelly roll pan in hopes it will cool faster. I hope he stuck the pans in the fridge while he was cooking so they are already cold. That will help.

Emeril stops and chats with Joshua, who is making a corn and mussel Thai soup. Sounds delicious. Joshua explains that his wife supports him, and she's three months away from giving birth. So if Joshua gets on the show, he'll miss the birth of his daughter. Wow. That is one supportive wife. I know it's a huge opportunity but I don't know how I'd feel about that.

Fifteen minutes left, and everyone is scrambling. Emeril ribs Jeffrey about trying to chill his gazpacho with very little time left. Jeffrey admits that he's second-guessing himself but he has to roll with it, because he doesn't have time to change it up. Emeril interviews that if Jeffrey gives him a "hot gazpacho, he's out." Hot gazpacho sounds like a middle school torture device, like a titty twister or a wet willy. Like, "The bully waited for me after school and gave me a hot gazpacho. I hate that guy."

With nine minutes left, Joshua is already plating his soup. He interviews that he's usually very good with time, and he's worried that his soup will get cold after sitting for so long, and if he gets sent home for soup failure, he will be the laughing stock of the cooking industry. With two minutes left, everyone else is plating and Joshua just has to sit there and watch everyone else and sweat. Jeffrey says a prayer that his soup is cold. Didn't he check?

Kristen exhibits my biggest Top Chef pet peeve: saying that you have "a little bit of" every ingredient. She made an English pea broth with thrice-poached lemon peel, diced apple, and sea scallop. Man, she combined pea puree and scallops. She has watched this show before. Emeril asks why she poached the lemon peel three times, and Kristen says that she wanted to get rid of the bitterness. Emeril adds that the scallop is perfectly done.

On to Jeffrey, who made a chilled watermelon and tomato gazpacho with peppers and ceviche. BUT IS IT COLD!?! Emeril says that it's lovely, with a lot of greath depth. WHAT ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE, EMERIL? It's cold. WHEW. That's all Emeril needs -- he immediately tells Jeffrey to grab a coat, because he's going to Seattle. Everyone else is like, "So all I needed to go through was an understanding of ice? That is some bullshit." Kristen reminds us that they don't know how many people Emeril is going to send through; Jeffrey could be the only one.

Emeril finally gets to poor Joshua, who must be sweating bullets because he's been standing there waiting for so long. First to plate and last to be tasted is not a good combination. Anyway, he made roasted corn and coconut soup with mussels and lime. He admits that this isn't a soup that he makes in his restaurant, but he wanted to push himself to impress Emeril. He does a bit; Emeril notes that it's very sweet and he's waiting for the heat to kick in, but the mussels are perfectly done.

Emeril asks everyone to join him in the dining room for their fates to be revealed. Emeril explains that he's only going to send people through that he thinks can win. He starts with Stephanie and Kristen, saying that they spend a lot of time together, but today one of them "hit it out of the park" and one of them "missed the mark." Is Emeril going to rhyme everything he says from now on? Because that would be both annoying and awesome. Anyway, Stephanie and Tina are going home, and Kristen and Joshua are going to Seattle. Yay, Joshua! You won't get to see your child being born!

And... back to Tom in LA, putting his cheftestants through their paces. I guess this is going to be our framing device. Tickets are starting to come in as patrons place their orders, and Tom explains that he wants to see the cheftestants' skills, but also their nerves, and whether or not they can hold it together. John is searing halibut; he explains that he could do it his own way, but he has a lot of respect for Tom and his cooking, so he's going to cook it the way that Tom does, and he asks for clarification from one of the line cooks. So far, John is keeping his cool. I'm kind of disappointed, but he knows what he has to do to get on the show. It almost makes his alleged temper tantrums worse, knowing that he does have the capacity to be a normal person. John brings his halibut over to Tom for plating. Tom's been watching him closely the whole time, and after the food is ready to go out, Tom pulls John aside and says that John is going to Seattle, so he can leave. No one else hears what was said; they only see Tom and John shaking hands and John leaving, so for all they know, he was sent home.

The judge to look at a group of cheftestants is the newest one, Wolfgang Puck. The first cheftestant, Carla, explains that she was married to the owner of Rao's in New York, and was the chef there. Um, yikes? I'm not saying she's mobbed up, but... well, if you know anything about Rao's, you can draw your own conclusions. Wolfgang explains that he can send all of them or one of them or somewhere in between to Seattle.

Time to issue the challenge. Wolfgang says that when he was a young chef, he went to a restaurant to get a job, and the owner told him to make an omelet. He made the best omelet he knew how to make, and the owner told him to get out. So that guy was a dick. He's dead now. But Wolfgang wants these cheftestants to make him an omelet. A cheftestant named Crissy says that she makes omelets all the time, but this is different. Thanks for stating the obvious, Crissy. Wolfgang emphasizes that the omelet needs to taste good and look good, and they have forty-five minutes.

Tyler works for Elway's Restaurant Group, which I assume means John Elway. He kind of looks like a fat John Elway. Shorter head, but wider. Anyway, he is freaking out over the fact that his whole career hinges on an omelet. Meanwhile, Daniel owns a restaurant called Seasonal Pantry, which has been open for eleven months. And he's number one on Yelp! Hey, in my area, I think Olive Garden is number one on Yelp, so I'm not sure that's anything to brag about.

Kunika is from Japan, and she is using flowers in her omelet. Anyway, she was a banker in Tokyo, and she hated her job, so she moved to America to be a chef. Her family isn't supportive, but she thinks winning this competition would earn their respect. Do they get this show in Japan? Daniel notes that Kunika has kale chips and adds, "Knew I should have set up to Origami." Did he just call her Origami? Because she's Japanese? What an asshole.

Eliza has big, big eyes that are kind of buggy. I don't mind, but it makes her look a little crazy. Anyway, Wolfgang sees that she's cooking mushrooms and recommends that she add steak to her omelet. Eliza's no dummy, so she immediately starts slicing the steak. Wolfgang interviews that he's an easy judge as long as you cook it exactly the way he wants. Ha ha. He's also walking around and eating food from the cheftestants mise en place, but it's not like they're going to tell him to stop.

Carla is flipping out when her pan of squash goes up in flames, and she looks flustered. Eliza says that she likes seeing Carla flustered, because it makes her feel calm in comparison. Carla interviews that some people don't like her and think she's too loud and probably call her a bitch behind her back. She reflects and says that she would call herself a bitch too, sometimes. At least she has a sense of humor, I hope. Wolfgang comments that she's loud, and Carla says that she can't get the stove to light. Wolfgang says, "The stove is like a woman, it never does what it's supposed to do." I know I'm probably supposed to find that old school and charming, but I find it gross. Shut up, Wolfgang.

By Kim

Eliza makes a test omelet, which is smart, except that she only made one batch of mise en place. So now she has to scrape the innards out of her test omelet to use in her real omelet. Wolfgang interviews that a big part of being on the show is making mistakes but knowing how to fix them on the fly instead of panicking. Daniel decides to cook his omelet in bacon fat, and as he's plating, he realizes that his omelet has a greasy residue. His omelet looks terrible. It's too brown and greasy. Anyway, he plans to accept, adapt and move forward. I don't know how he's going to fix it, though. Blotting?

Wolfgang says that he appreciates everyone's creativity and hard work, and he's decided that five of them will go through. He's the only one who didn't send someone through early. Anyway, only one person will be going home, which is ROUGH. Wolfgang tells Daniel that his presentation wasn't up to par, and he's going home. Also, stop being racist. Anyway, everyone else is going to Seattle.

Weird interstitial. As his group cleans their stations, Wolfgang comes over and demonstrates how to cook a perfect omelet. I would have liked more of that footage, please. My omelets are not good.

The group of cheftestants will be cooking for Hugh Acheson in Atlanta. And the first one we meet is Sheldon from Hawaii, who is young but already has a number of accolades. Hugh explains that his challenge is for each of them to create a beautiful salad, and while he has enough coats for each of them, they will have to earn it to go to Seattle.

Bart is from Belgium but he's been in the States for sixteen years. He's also a knight in Belgium, twice over, but he doesn't want you to call him Sir, and he's not going to wear a suit of armor. Well, that's a relief. Gina has some baaaaad bangs. I mean, they're way too long, and I don't know how she can cook with all that hair in her eyes, and they also tend to separate, so she doesn't even have that hipster Zooey Deschanel thing happening. She interviews that she's "verocious" which isn't a word, and really competitive. And she has pink trim on her chef's coat, so between that and the bangs, I kind of hate her already.

Danyele has curly red hair and also bad bangs, although they look better in the kitchen than in her interviews. She's intimidated by Hugh, and she tells him that she just tries to cook food that's in season. I think she's grilling watermelon, which is interesting. Gina interviews that Danyele is flaring her tomatoes, which is dangerous and ruins the product, and is amateurish. Hey, how about you concentrate on your own food and let Danyele concentrate on her, bangs-y? And cut your bangs.

Sheldon tells Hugh that he likes the fusion of cultures in Hawaii, and his salad will incorporate both Japanese and Thai influences. Sheldon interviews that he's lived in Hawaii his whole life, except for a short stint at Disney World, and he wants to show Hawaii off to the world. Brooke tells Hugh that she has a four-year-old son, so she doesn't get to do adventurous and exciting things all that often. Girl, I hear you. I have almost-three-year-old twins and an exciting day for me is when four cop cars show up at my neighbors' house (which happened this morning, and I still don't know why).

By Kim

Weird interstitial. As his group cleans their stations, Wolfgang comes over and demonstrates how to cook a perfect omelet. I would have liked more of that footage, please. My omelets are not good.

Three minutes left, and everyone is frantically plating and making a huge mess. Danyele interviews that it's tough to get everything on your plate with a minute left and she's just thinking about cleaning up or possibly throwing up. Gina, meanwhile, has applied the bronzer with a very heavy hand for her interviews, such that it looks like she rubbed dirt on her face. Maybe she did. Anyway, she is sure she achieved what she wanted to with her dish, and she knows she'll be moving forward.

By Kim

Sheldon has made a fried Brussels sprouts salad with a burnt orange Thai vinaigrette. Hugh tastes it and says that the Brussels sprouts taste good even though they're out of season, and it needs a little more vinaigrette. Bart has made a huge salad of spiny lobster with beets, asparagus and potatoes. It's not so much huge as it is long. Hugh says that the lobster is well cooked but there is a lot going on. Brooke has made a kale salad with Brussels sprouts leaves and lemon vinaigrette. Hugh thinks the fried kale is awesome and he would be proud to serve this salad -- she's through to Seattle immediately. Bart and Sheldon are both like, "Why didn't he send me through immediately? Did my salad suck?"

Gina and her bangs made "a delicious, seasonal grilled salad," and Hugh interrupts to say that he's about to find out if it's actually delicious. Who describes their food that way, at least on this show? Don't we just assume it's delicious? Anyway, it has sautéed and grilled zucchini with carrots, pea sprouts, and a balsamic reduction. Zucchini is my enemy, so I already hate it. Hugh says it's a little "weedy" or "weighty," I can't tell, but neither one is good. Gina squeaks, "You're going to make me cry, stop it!" Hugh says that they could make her cry, but and Gina yells, "Don't make me cry!" Someone is a leeeeetle high strung. Hugh rolls his eyes and says, "It looked nice" and runs away. She is a train wreck.

Moving on to Danyele, who made a grilled watermelon and tomato salad with charred tomato vinaigrette. Man, do these people love a vinaigrette. Hugh likes it, although all of the grilling has given it a slight propane flavor (ouch), but it's very Texas, which he likes.

Decision time. Hugh says that, like the other judges, he's choosing people he thinks could win the competition, and it will be three out of four. I get confused for a minute: does he mean three of these four, or two of them plus Brooke, who already got sent through? Gina's going home (yay!) and in her exit interview, she says that she's more than a chef, she's a movement. I really, really want to make a bowel movement joke, but I'm classier than that. No, I'm really not.

By Kim

And time to finish up with Tom. He already sent John through, so it's between Micah, Lizzie, Anthony and Jorel. Everyone else is busy cooking, but Anthony seems to be just standing around and watching, and Tom has noticed. Tom tastes the duck that Micah just plated, and tells him it's really good, and then Tom interviews that in contrast to Anthony, Micah has just jumped in and seems really confident in the kitchen. Jorel is making a sauce; Tom tastes it, pulls a face, and asks Jorel if he tasted it. Jorel says he did, but doesn't offer up any problems, so Tom tells him it's a little salty. And then Jorel makes no move to fix it. Maybe his moustache got in the way of his tasting. Every time I write that, please know that I am pronouncing it "moose-tosh" in my head. One of Tom's sous chefs tastes it and says it's "more than a little" salty, and they can't use it. Tom tastes Anthony's dish, and says it's seasoned perfectly. Then Tom tells everyone to let his crew take over, and they're going outside to discuss who's going through to Seattle.

Tom tells the assembled group that they did really well under the circumstances, and he's really excited about the talent level for this season. He adds that John already got sent through, and some of them are surprised to hear that he got through, and didn't get sent home. Tom tells Lizzie that he really liked how she moved through the kitchen, and she did a great job with the pasta, so she's going to Seattle. Tom tells Jorel and his moustache that he was tentative, screwed up the butchering, and his beurre fondue was too salty and unusable, so he's getting the axe. Tom tells Anthony that he was too tentative, and while he made some decent dishes, he also screwed up his butchering and his efforts weren't quite enough, so he's also going home. Tom tells Micah that he moved through the kitchen with confidence, although he screwed up butchering the fish, but his food was good enough to redeem him and he's going to Seattle.

So we've got our cast, and in the preview for the season, it looks like John, Joshua, Carla and Micah butt heads with the others. And there's something in a bog, and roller derby, and then they go to Alaska or something? Should be interesting.