By Kim
Some time has passed since the last episode, and the final four cheftestants arrive in British Columbia, Canada for the finals. They take a gondola up to the top of Whistler and learn that they'll be competing in three events, and then one of them will be eliminated.
The first event is to cook a dish on a moving gondola, and also jump out at a certain point and grab a new ingredient to incorporate into their dishes. Between the motion sickness from being in the gondola and the janky equipment, it's not easy. Paul makes a lamb loin dish, Sarah makes chorizo sausage, Beverly makes salmon tartare (cheating! It's not even cooked!), and Lindsay makes salmon and quinoa. Lindsay wins the challenge and gets a pass to the round, so she doesn't have to compete in the two events.
The day, Beverly, Paul, and Sarah compete in the second event, where they have to chop their ingredients out of ice blocks and make a dish in an hour. Paul gets his ingredients out pretty quickly but Sarah and Lindsay struggle. Did I mention that they are cooking outside on the mountaintop? Sarah makes pea and spinach soup, Paul makes poached king crab, and Beverly makes a seared scallop. Paul wins the challenge, so he doesn't need to compete in the third event. It's great, because he gave up some of his ingredients to help out his competitors, and it would've really sucked if that had caused him to lose.
The third event comes down to Sarah versus Beverly. It's a culinary biathlon, where they have to ski and then shoot at targets with the names of ingredients. Then they have to cook the ingredients they've "won" for the judges. They only get ten bullets to shoot, though. Beverly finishes the skiing part first, and ends up getting four ingredients, while Sarah also gets four. Beverly makes arctic char, onion and beet compote, celery root truffle puree, and fennel salad. Sarah makes braised rabbit leg and heart with cherries, hazelnuts, and sauerkraut puree. While the judges liked both dishes, they felt like the other strong components overwhelmed the char in Beverly's dish, and she is eliminated AGAIN. So much for her positive vision board or whatever.
Some unspecified amount of time has passed, and the four finalists are now arriving in Vancouver. Sarah arrives first, and claims that she wants to be a nicer person than she was in Texas. Well, as long as she doesn't have to interact with Beverly, I'm sure that will totally work out for her. Lindsay arrives , and then Paul, because of course the producers are doing that reality show thing of making sure the outcast stays the outcast by manipulating their arrival times. Lindsay interviews that she, Sarah, and Paul have a "special bond" because they're not weirdos like Beverly. She's a little bit nicer than that, but not much. I mean, seriously. I can sort of understand being under pressure and acting out, but they've had time away. Can't they all just suck it up and stop being mean to Beverly, even if she is annoying and weird?
Paul's hair is longer now, and I do not approve. He looked better with the shorter hair, even if his hair is receding. Anyway, he gives an interview about how his grandfather fled China for the Philippines and Paul feels like he (as the oldest grandchild) has to be successful so that his grandfather's sacrifices were worth it.
The four finalists pile into their van and find a letter from Padma instructing them to drive up to Whistler, so they take off. As they travel, Lindsay notes that she wishes she hadn't got as upset as she did during some challenges, and that's as close as we'll see to an apology from any of these people for how they treated one another. Paul asks Bev about Last Chance Kitchen and she barely gets two words out of her mouth in response before Sarah interrupts, "LOOK AT THAT TREE!!" That better have been one exciting tree, because RUDE. Although, for all we know, Beverly was droning on and on about it and everyone tuned out. Beverly interviews that Lindsay and Sarah never respected her, but she doesn't care, because earning her way back into the competition proved to herself that she has what it takes to win. I'm not so sure about that. I'm still mad at how they rigged it for her to beat Nyesha. Think how much more interesting these finals would be if Nyesha were in Beverly's place. At least there would be a question about who's going to take it. Now we all know it will be Paul.
They arrive at Whistler, get kitted out in ski gear, and take a gondola up to the top of the mountain. Paul says that he gets motion sickness sometimes, so he's not super happy about being in the gondola. Foreshadowing. Tom and Padma are waiting at the top of the mountain and they're getting blown around by the wind and snow. They are really high up! The cheftestants walk out, and Padma greets them. I think her face is frozen because she's enunciating even less than she usually does. Tom reminds them that Whistler was the setting for the 2010 Olympics. Ah, I remember it well. I had newborn twins, so I did nothing but sit around and watch curling while feeding the babies a bazillion times a day. I have never watched an Olympics so thoroughly. Anyway, the tie-in is that they are going to do three rounds of "Culinary Games." Each round's winner will advance to the finals, while the losers continue to compete until there is one ultimate loser, who will be eliminated from the competition. Let the games begin!
The first round game is to cook a dish while riding in a ski gondola. Well, that's a great test of their culinary ability. Except that it's not a test of any sort of culinary ability. It doesn't test creativity. It doesn't test their ingredient or preparation knowledge. It sort of tests their ability to think on their feet, I guess. It's a terrible challenge. Anyway, they will start making a dish, and at one point, have to jump out and grab a new ingredient and incorporate that into their dish, and then serve the dish to the judges.
So they all run to the gondolas. Paul is the first one in. The gondola pantry is surprisingly well-stocked, honestly. Paul is feeling a little motion sick, but he's going to push through, and decides to cook lamb. Sarah goes , and realizes that she actually has a ton of choices on what to make. First, she goes for salmon, but it has too many scales, so she ditches it. She keeps picking things up and putting them down, but she knows she needs to pick a direction soon. Beverly decides to go with a cold dish. Aw, what a cop-out. Lame. Lindsay is the last to enter a gondola, and knows that she needs to make some changes due to the high altitude. Also, the burners are all tipped at different angles, so she has trouble getting the pans to stay balanced. That happens in restaurants all the time, right? Oh, wait, it totally doesn't.
Paul is the first to the midpoint and has to hop out and choose an additional ingredient. All of the ingredients are in jars, so it takes some time to go through them all, lift the lids, and see what's available. Meanwhile, their gondola is still moving so they have to make a decision before their gondola leaves the station. Paul chooses wasabi paste. When he returns to his gondola, he sees that his lamb isn't cooking how he wants, so he takes the loin off the rack to try to get it thoroughly cooked in the time he has. Sarah is to choose her ingredient, and she can't find anything she wants at first. She ends up choosing prune juice to use to deglaze her chorizo. Her problem is that the gondola is so cold that everything is freezing up on her. Beverly hops out and quickly chooses horseradish to go in her sauce with white anchovies. Lindsay hopes for produce for her additional ingredient, but nothing is jumping out at her. She ends up also choosing the horseradish and put it into vinaigrette and hope it doesn't overpower her other flavors. She's struggling with keeping her pots and pans on the work surface since everything is so uneven.
Paul starts plating his food. He runs out to serve the judges, knowing that it's not his finest plate. He knows he has no one to blame but himself. I love that he takes responsibility instead of bitching about how it's a stupid challenge (because it is). Paul is the best. Anyway, he walks into the restaurant with his food and finds Padma, Tom, Gail, and Olympic snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler. I totally know who she is because of the aforementioned newborn twins in 2010. Like I knew before they even put up her chyron. That is sad. Paul made seared lamb loin with curried mushrooms and wasabi crème fraiche.
Sarah points out that there's no clock in the gondola, so you have to judge when to finish your dish by how close you are to the gondola docking station (or whatever it's called, I don't know. I haven't been skiing since I was in middle school.) Sarah serves chorizo sausage with onions, prune juice, gooseberries, and pickled mushrooms. That sounds like something they'd serve at a nursing home.
Beverly is trying to make her dish seem more interesting than just raw fish (since that's what it is), so she fries up some capers to add complexity. She is a dork. Her dish is salmon tartare, anchovy horseradish crème fraiche, and crispy capers. It looks like cat food.
Lindsay is the final cheftestant to serve in this challenge. She realizes at the last minute that she doesn't have enough salmon. She cuts her pieces in half and calls it good, and honestly, the pieces are now an appropriate size. They would have been way too big before. Her dish is seared salmon, red quinoa "risotto" with chorizo and horseradish vinaigrette.
Let's talk about the various dishes. Tom liked Paul's dish, although he thought the meat was a little underseasoned. Gail adds that the meat was unevenly cooked. Gretchen... who cares? Tom wishes he could have tasted the prune more in Sarah's dish, and Padma liked the acidity of the gooseberry. Gretchen... who cares what she thought about Beverly's dish? Tom thinks a good tartare needs to be ice cold, which it was, and the horseradish made the dish, and Gail compliments her knife work. Tom is impressed with how perfectly Lindsay cooked her salmon, and Gretchen who cares. Seriously, am I supposed to care what a snowboarder thinks of the food? Anyway, they all write down their scores on paper and pass them to Padma, who announces that the winner gets $10,000 and doesn't have to cook in the two events. Tom says that they were expecting at least one person to stumble, and no one did. Paul came in last, and Sarah came in third place. So between Lindsay and Beverly, who won? Lindsay! So she's through to the finals. I thought we were already in the finals, but what do I know? Nothing, I guess. Hey, let's draw this season out even further, because it hasn't seemed long enough already.
The part of the competition isn't until the day, so they all get to check into their hotel, which is really nice. Paul realizes that he failed really badly in the first round and he considers it a wake-up call. Sarah and Paul are worried about the last two challenges, and they note that Beverly has already competed in a winner-take-all challenge and won it, so they can't underestimate her. Sarah interviews that Beverly is "that silent horse." What does that even mean? Is there a saying about quiet horses that I've never heard? I'm guessing she means dark horse? Sarah also says that Beverly attacks like a tiger. What is with the animal metaphors? Sarah is weird.
So the morning, Sarah, Paul, and Beverly trudge back up to some mountaintop to find out what the second section will entail. Padma introduces them to Jon Montgomery, Olympic skeleton dude. That doesn't mean that he's really skinny (although he is quite fit) - the skeleton is like the luge, except you go head first. It's INSANE. I thought they were going to make the cheftestants do it, and then I remember that this show hasn't completely transformed into Fear Factor yet. Instead, Padma rather giddily explains that their pantry consists of food items encased in giant blocks of ice. So they have to chip out their ingredients. Tom tries to pretend like this has anything to do with being a good cook by saying that sometimes you have to use flash frozen ingredients. Well, yes, but you are allowed to properly defrost them, and unless you have a freezer from the '50s, they aren't typically encased in giant blocks of ice that you have to chip away. Not only will this make the ingredients taste terrible, it limits their ability to cook them. I'm assuming they don't have running water, which can help food defrost faster, since they are cooking outside. This challenge is even dumber than the last, and is going to result in some bad food, I think.
Beverly admits that she's never used an icepick, as Padma explains that they only have an hour to thaw their food and cook it. Sarah interviews that she has to win this challenge, because she doesn't want to go head-to-head with Beverly in the final challenge. Is she admitting that Beverly is not a terrible chef? That would be a first.
Paul and Beverly run right for the crab legs, but Paul gets there first. Beverly says that some of the ingredients are so frozen in the ice that you can't even tell what they are. They start tossing blocks of ice around and Beverly grabs a pan and starts whacking the ice with it, which doesn't seem very effective. Sarah doesn't have her block of ice in the sun, which seems like a tactical disaster and she's having trouble getting her ingredients out. Paul starts helping Sarah and Beverly smash ice blocks, even though he already has all of his own ingredients. Sarah explains that she chose mostly vegetables for her ingredients because they can thaw as they cook. I don't even know how any of them are supposed to have a decent dish from this disaster.
Sarah is making a soup but the cream was frozen so her soup separates. She starts blending it like a madman, trying to get the cream integrated into the broth. I feel like that rarely works out, but she doesn't have enough time or ingredients to do anything else. And then time is up.
The judges approach Sarah first. She made pea and spinach soup with turmeric, almonds, and King crab. It should be noted that Paul gave her the King crab. Padma asks what the hardest part of the challenge was, and Sarah says it was finding ingredients and then dealing with the frozen cream. Tom tastes mostly spinach, and he thinks that's a good thing. Well, she didn't advertise it as crab soup, so that's good. Gail thinks the almonds are a little heavy. Tom likes the crab, and knows that was Paul's doing.
up for tasting is Paul, who made poached King crab, toasted almonds, and mango chutney with orange marmalade. Gail likes the mango, but admits that it was still a little bit frozen. Skeleton dude thought the crab and almonds were exceptional. And that's all we hear about Paul for now.
And finally, Beverly served seared scallop with red wine reduction, buttered peas, corn, and couscous. Skeleton guy asks if she was thinking of any of the other cheftestants while she was hacking away at the ice with a pick, and Gail says she probably was. That says to me that the food is terrible, since they're showing this instead of people talking about the food. Gail thinks the sear on the scallop was good, but the sauce was a little heavy. Padma thought the couscous was good. I feel like if they don't show Tom's comments, it means the dish wasn't good, since he's typically the most honest.
Tom looks exhausted as he says that they were all impressed, but there can only be one winner. And Padma announces that the winner is Paul. These challenges are kind of bullshit because we aren't hearing anything about why Paul won. What about his dish was better than the others? Did they take into account that he gave up ingredients to the other two? We will never know. So anyway, Paul is moving on to the finals and that leaves Sarah and Beverly to duke it out. The producers must be psyched, since this is what they wanted all along.
So the day, presumably, it's time for the showdown between Beverly and Sarah. They approach the three judges and a guest and notice that Padma is holding a rifle. Are they going to kill zombies? That would be kind of awesome. Beverly wonders if they're going to have to shoot their own game. Maybe they will just shoot one another and get it over with. It's like "The Most Dangerous Game." Beverly will hunt Sarah down in the woods. Whoever comes out alive gets to go to the finals. Don't act like the producers didn't think about it.
Anyway, their guest judge is Cammi Granato, Olympic hockey player. But that has nothing to do with their event. They are going to do the biathlon, the event that everyone talks about only during the Olympics. Well, that and curling. They have to cross-country ski through the woods, and then shoot targets that represent various ingredients. They only get ten bullets. I wonder what would happen if one of them got zero bullseyes. Would they just not get to cook? Sarah says that she used to shoot guns with her dad, while Beverly has never held a gun.
Time starts, and they both put on their cross-country skis. Beverly seems to do better with the skis. It would have been nice if they had given them a modicum of instructions on cross-country skiing, since neither of them is doing it right. They're both kind of doing it like downhill skiing, instead of "walking" the skis. Beverly takes a huge lead, but then both of them keep falling down. Beverly gets to the shooting range first, and hits her first attempt, arctic char. Sarah finally arrives and decides to go for rabbit. She misses her first four attempts, but finally gets rabbit with her fifth bullet. Meanwhile, Beverly has hit a total of five out of ten, so she has lots of ingredients. Sarah whines that she feels like Beverly got more bullets than her. She didn't. You just wasted a lot of bullets and kept missing. Sarah ends up with rabbit, cabbage, and cherries for her ingredients.
Beverly heads for the kitchen. She decides to slow roast her fish, which she knows might be risky since she doesn't have a ton of time, but she feels confident that it's the best decision with the ingredients that she has. Sarah's concept is to prepare the rabbit a few different ways, by braising part and roasting part, and then pairing it with a kraut puree, which she feels will reflect her German heritage. Well, she's not wrong.
Beverly tells Sarah that she's making a dish that she's never made before, using ingredients that are unfamiliar. That always works out well in a final, right? To do something completely new? Bev is worried because there's no lemongrass or coconut milk in the pantry, and that's what she usually uses. So I kind of get what the other chefs were saying about how she doesn't know how to cook anything but Asian food. Because shouldn't a great chef have a basis in classical cooking techniques and ingredients? Anyway, then Bev comes over to Sarah's station to use her electrical outlet, even though she has one on her own station. Sarah points this out but pretends it's fine, even though it's clearly bothering her. And that would be annoying, and if Beverly weren't a weirdo, she would take the blender back over to her own station.
Plating is done and it's time to serve! Beverly serves slow-roasted arctic char, onion and beet compote, celery root truffle puree, and shaved fennel salad with winter black truffles on top. Sarah serves braised rabbit leg and heart with cherries, hazelnuts, and sauerkraut puree. I wonder what happened to the roasted loin she was planning on serving.
Tom asks Beverly about her decision process. Beverly says that she knows that celery root goes well with seafood. Tom asks why she pureed it, and she says she wanted to give a "puree quality" to the dish. Tom acts like that makes any sense at all. Beverly adds that she wanted the sweetness of the onions to counteract the beets. Tom thinks it's a good dish with good flavors, but the fish is slightly overcooked. Gail likes the flavor profile, which was earthy. Tom moves on to tell Sarah that she took a lot of risks, making kraut and braising in such a short time, but it worked. Sarah says that she was going for a Germanic/Northern Italy thing, plus that's her heritage. Cammi says that she loved it from the first bite. Gail thinks the rabbit was a little tough, and wanted it to be more tender. Tom says that this won't be an easy decision, and the cheftestants are excused so that the judges can discuss.
Back in the kitchen, Sarah asks Beverly what she thinks, and Beverly says that it's going to be close. Wow, that was a fascinating look into their thought processes.
The judges discuss Sarah's dish first. Cammi liked the cherries and hazelnut together. Tom agrees, and thinks that each ingredient added something to the texture. He also liked that Sarah used the heart. Gail brings up the rabbit being tough again, which was problematic. For Beverly's dish, Gail likes that she paired seafood with earthy flavors like beets and onions, but Tom disagrees because he thought that the char disappeared due to lack of seasoning. Padma pretends like she has emotions when she says that, despite their determination, one of the cheftestants is going home tonight.
Lindsay and Paul show up in the kitchen to provide moral support. They want to know if the judges gave them any feedback on their dishes. Beverly says that hers was slightly overdone. Lindsay is really rooting for Sarah and they try to make it out like Paul is rooting for Beverly, but Paul's just a nice person, I think.
Beverly and Sarah head back out to learn their fates from the judges. Tom says that Sarah's dish was well thought out, and she took a new approach to cabbage even if the rabbit wasn't perfect. Beverly went out of her comfort zone (because she was forced to) and downplayed the char, which may not have been the right choice. So who's going home? Padma tells Beverly to pack her knives and go. Ugh. I can't decide who I wanted to leave more, although I was getting pretty tired of the whole Redemption of Beverly storyline. Does this mean they won't do Last Chance Kitchen season? And also, how many episodes are left? And why is the answer greater than one? Anyway, Sarah tries to pretend like she is sad that Beverly is going but really she's just happy that she made the finals. And Beverly whatever. Who cares? She's a weirdo. She's not even interesting enough to get worked up about. Can't we just crown Paul the winner right now and be done with it?