Quickfire Challenge: The cheftestants take a ferry to Ellis Island and they have to create a dish using only what they can find in the ship's snack bar. As you might imagine, the ingredient choices are very limited, and it's mostly processed and in a bag or a can. The judge is Dan Barber, Mr. Eat Locally, and he chooses Carla, who made an orange salad, which was very basic. Blais is all sour because he thought her dish was too simple.
Elimination Challenge: Create a dish based on your ancestry. And the show hires a professional genealogist to help them with that, and also brings in family members to help out, so everyone has a good cry about that. And also Mike and Antonia find out they might be distantly related and this causes them to become BFF. Here are the dishes:
Mike: potato gnocchi with braised pork shank ragu and burrata cheese. Everyone compliments the gnocchi. During judging, Mike cries because it's the first time he's cooked Italian food professionally, and it makes him remember his grandmother, who taught him how to cook. It almost makes me like him. Almost.
Antonia: braised veal, rapini leaf with fava bean risotto. Colicchio says it was packed with flavor. Antonia's mom is super cute.
Tiffany: braised short rib with mustard greens, stewed okra, and oxtail marmalade. Colicchio, who historically didn't like okra, enjoyed this dish. Tiffany's mom looks exactly like her, or she looks exactly like her mom.
Blais: short ribs, potatoes, fried bone marrow, corn puree, and pickled glasswort (sea beans). Colicchio says it was all right, and Blais's wife kind of panics, but he meant that all of it was right, so she relaxes. Blais grills his wife about whether or not he's going to be safe.
Carla: braised pork shoulder, fried grits, corn and sweet potato hash and cheddar biscuits. The judges like that she passed the biscuits around, family-style, and point out how well the pork is cooked.
The judges love all of the food and talk about how difficult it's going to be to send someone home. Antonia wins the challenge and wins a car, and a spot in the finals in the Bahamas. Mike is also safe, and maybe he should consider cooking Italian food more often. And then Padma does the meanest thing when she tells Blais to pack his knives…to go to the Bahamas. Blais seriously almost threw up all over his shoes, he was so nervous. So that leaves Tiffany and Carla, and then Padma announces that they're both going to the Bahamas. Which I kind of suspected might happen when the judges kept talking about how awesome all of the food was, and one of the family members even suggested that. And oh, you guys. The final episodes look pretty amaze-balls. This has been a great season.
We enter the scene right after Dale's elimination. Blais says that he wanted to say a lot more to Dale when he left, but he was taken by surprise and didn't get to. Blais interviews that he wanted to go to the end with Dale, and this is the only elimination he's sad about. Well, other than his own, if that happens, I would guess. He might be sad about that. Blais tells Tiffany that she's invincible, which is kind of a shitty thing to say, because he's basically saying, "You can churn out any old crap and the judges won't send you home, even when you deserve it." I would like Blais better with about ten percent less cockiness. Otherwise, he's turning into Bobby Flay with liquid nitrogen.
Hey, there totally is a bartender at the weird bar the cheftestants go to for their post-mortem. Given the carry out cups, I kind of thought it was an empty bar that they just sit at and drink the coffee they bought down the street. Then again, they are the only people in the bar, so maybe it's just in their building, and no one else lives there yet? But who hired the bartender? So confusing. Anyway, Antonia takes a break from the fake bar to call her daughter. Antonia's a single mom. She misses her daughter. I was sure this was Antonia's death knell. They all toast and Blais says that now is when it gets tough. Mike echoes my thoughts: "It hasn't been tough?" Seriously. It's been tough. Ask Dale. Or Angelo. But this is the last elimination before the finals, so it's very, very important. VERY IMPORTANT!
The morning, the cheftestants are waiting around to find out what the challenge will be this week. Blais just hopes that it's fewer than fifty plates, and then says that Antonia "has a good nose for these things" and asks her opinion on what the challenge will be. Antonia wonders if Padma might be coming to their place, and Tiffany agrees that she was thinking the same thing. And then like a second later, Padma walks in the door and everyone FREAKS OUT. That was pretty awesome. I mean, I'm sure there' s a logical explanation other than Antonia is a psychic, but the timing was great. Padma tells them to get ready and meet her on the roof. Antonia interviews that they'll probably have to base jump off the roof and cook an egg on the way down. Hey, don't give the producers any ideas.
Up on the roof, Padma congratulates them for making it so far. Then she tells them that their Quickfire Challenge will take place on the ferry to Ellis Island. Mike tells the dummies in the audience (who can relate to him) that Ellis Island was the seat of immigration into the United States in the late 1800s and early 1900s. That's all the detail they get for now, and they head off to the ferry.
They walk into the ferry and find their knives and a note from Padma. The note says that they are supposed to make a dish using whatever ingredients they can find in the snack bar, and the time limit is however long it takes their ferry to get to Ellis Island. Their ingredient choices are pretty much what you would expect in a snack bar: packaged baked goods, nachos, hot dogs, bags of chips, and suchlike. A lot of processed foods and very few fresh ingredients, and not a lot of means for cooking them. Once the ship's horn blows, time starts, and they all start running and scrambling for ingredients. They don't know how much time they have, and there's no kitchen equipment really.
Tiffany decides to make some sort of nachos, which seems like a bit of a cop out since the place sells nachos, unless she's doing something really creative. Antonia is making a grilled cheese sandwich on a hot dog roller grill, using ingredients scavenged from other sandwiches. Blais is making hot dogs using an MRE kit that he just happened to have in his knife bag, which instantly boils water. While that's a neat trick, there is a hot dog grill RIGHT THERE. I mean, wouldn't you rather have a grilled hot dog than a boiled one?
Carla thinks everyone else is making junk food, so she's going a different way and making an orange salad with rosemary infused juice. I'm not sure where she's getting the rosemary from. Maybe some chips that were rosemary flavored? I think that's it. Antonia tries to give everyone an idea of how far they are from Ellis Island, but turns out that she has no clue. Mike is making a soup with pork rinds and hot dog buns, which sounds gross and like something you would only eat on a dare. And even then, it would have to be a really good dare. Mike says there are chunks of soggy bread in it. Well, sign me up. Carla thinks that Blais has just made "a hot dog with a lot of stuff on it." Antonia finally figures out where they are, and where they are is: close. Tiffany realizes that making just nachos is lame, so she's making popcorn too. Well, don't strain yourself, girl. This is a lame challenge but they are making lame food as well. Mike finishes on time but realizes how terrible his dish is, and says he wouldn't serve it to his cat. Well, if your cat is anything like mine, it wouldn't eat it anyway. My cats barely deign to eat the actual cat food that I give them most of the time. They only want food they can't have, like chocolate ice cream. One time, I was sitting on the couch holding a cookie, and gesturing with the cookie in my hand, and one of my cats sailed through the air and grabbed the cookie in her mouth midair. I almost had to let her eat it because it was so impressive. But I didn't. Cool story, Kim.
The horn blows to end the challenge and Padma and guest judge Dan Barber walk onto the ferry for judging. Dan Barber, you may recall, owns Blue Hill and is known for cooking local, fresh ingredients. So, perfect judge for this mega-processed food. Barber was also Blais's sous chef during the finale of his season. That seems like he might need to recuse himself, no? I guess not. I kind of get the feeling that the producers don't give a crap about this challenge -- no one gets immunity, and it feels like they just concocted it to fit into the time they had getting everyone to the Elimination Challenge.
Blais made what he calls a play on a banh mi sandwich, which is a hot dog and beef jerky sandwich with jalapeno, pork rinds, lettuce, and apple. It's edible. I don't know that it would be my first choice out of the dishes offered up in this challenge, but at least he tried. It looks sort of broiled and I don't know how he accomplished that. Tiffany made nachos with cheese, lettuce, tomato, jalapeno, banana pepper, and sour cream. Padma points out that Tiffany basically made something off the snack bar menu. Tiffany says with the extra time, she made popcorn with candied mangos and pineapple. So again, she took something off the menu, ripped open a bag of dried fruit, and dumped it in. Those are pretty lame. She's lucky no one gives a shit about this challenge.
Mike made what he calls "a peasant-style soup," which is a bread soup with cheddar cheese, sour cream, green chili, and pork rinds. Okay, first why would you make soup when your only choices for service were paper boats? And second, it looks like vomit. It actually looks like, if you let the soup harden and congeal, it would look exactly like the fake rubber vomit you get in novelty shops. The judges should refuse to taste it. I would. I mean, at least he made a little more effort than Tiffany, but that's disgusting.
Carla made an orange and papaya salad with carrot and rosemary juice. It looks terrible. She sliced up some fruit and then dumped a bottle of juice over the top. At least it's not hot dog bun soup, I guess. Antonia admits that she took apart a bunch of sandwiches and assembled her own Franken-sandwich. She made grilled cheese with apples and raisin bread. Barber notes that cooking it on the hot dog grill gave it pork flavor and Antonia giggles that she totally meant to do that. I think her sandwich would be my first choice among the offerings. Blais interviews that no one else put much effort or creativity into this challenge, so he thinks he has a good chance of winning. Well, as long as his tasted better than the others, right?
The cheftestants arrive for judging in a park on Ellis Island, I guess. It's some sort of park and it's at night. Barber admits that it's not the type of food he usually eats on the show, but he knows they did the best they could with what they had. He goes down the line and tells each cheftestant what he thought. He felt that Tiffany's food was a throwaway dish, which she knows. Blais's food was tasty and a creative way to use a hot dog. He tells Mike that his soup could have sunk the ship, and Mike can't even be mad, because it was terrible. He liked that Antonia's sandwich was grilled, and he found Carla's salad refreshing and creative. So which dish did they enjoy the most? Carla's. Blais is PISSED. He still doesn't get that it's not Top Most Complicated Dish. It's about what tastes good, and Carla was the only one who used the fresh ingredients available to them. He had better figure that out before the finals, if he makes it that far. Although, to be fair, his complicated style will probably be more rewarded in the finals. As long as it tastes good, and he doesn't get too up in his head.
Padma introduces the Elimination Challenge. They are at Ellis Island to learn about their heritage, and they will create a dish based on their ancestry. That would be really tough for me, as I am a true mutt: Scottish, Irish, German, and English. What could I make with that? Padma does give a nod to the fact that Tiffany and Carla, being African-American (presumably? Does she know that their ancestors were definitely from Africa?) have a different story but still a rich heritage. At least she acknowledged that being brought here as a slave is very different from coming here voluntarily for a better life. I'm making a lot of assumptions here, obviously. They've hired a genealogist, who has researched the lineage of the cheftestants, and has a portfolio for each of them with more information. AND, there are some special guests to help. Some people walk up out of the darkness of night, and the cheftestants realize that they are family members: Tiffany, Antonia, and Mike have their moms, and Blais and Carla have their spouses. It's very touching, with hugs and tears all around. Blais's wife is pregnant and has the super cute tiny baby belly.
Each cheftestant finds a bench and, with a family member, sits down to go through the portfolio. Blais notes that his mother passed away a few months ago, as did his wife's grandmother, so they are really thinking about family and heritage. As they go through the portfolio, they find out that Blais had ancestors who were chemists and butchers, and that his roots are Irish and English, and his family has been in America for a long time.
Tiffany and her mom look through their portfolio and talk about traditional dishes in Louisiana and Texas, where Tiffany's family settled. Her mom offers up pork roast, oxtail, and turkey necks. She also suggests okra and tomatoes, but Tiffany knows that Colicchio doesn't like okra. But the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that she has a great recipe and it represents her heritage well. So she should go for it.
Carla and her husband browse the portfolio. Carla finds out that one of her ancestors was in the Civil War, and another had his own business despite being a recently-freed slave. She feels a connection, since she also owns her own business. She tells her husband how she did poorly on the Southern food challenge, and she knows she needs to make another Southern dish and do it right this time.
Mike is not surprised to find out that he's pure Italian. Mike's parents split when he was young, and he explains that he was "a troubled kid" when he was younger. Then his mom tries to claim that Mike doesn't really look Italian, and that he looks more Irish. Seriously? Mike would fit right in with the guys on Jersey Shore, if they had a version of Jersey Shore for fat, old guys. Although I suspect The Situation is lying about his age, because he looks at least 35 to me. Anyway, Mike's mom was supportive of him being a chef, because it kept him out of trouble, and his grandmother taught him how to cook. Mike hasn't really cooked Italian since his grandmother died, because it brings up painful memories.
Antonia reads in her portfolio that she is ¾ Italian and ¼ Jewish. She apologizes to her mom (who contributed the Jewish part) but says she's going to cook Italian. As Antonia continues reading, she finds out that she and Mike share a lot of the same family names in their ancestry, and are likely related. She yells over to Mike and they all have a big laugh over it. Antonia tells her mom that Mike has been her nemesis, and now it all makes sense, because he acts like a bratty brother. They do have that chemistry, though I would argue it's more because of a shared culture and upbringing, since it seems like any link between them is many generations past. Antonia gets very emotional thinking about the long line of men in her family, who have worked hard to take care of their families and seek out a better life. Anyway, portfolio perusal time is over and everyone leaves the park.
The cheftestants head to Whole Foods (seems like it's the middle of the night as there is no one there but employees) to purchase ingredients. Blais admits that he kind of wishes he were Italian because it would make choosing a dish easier. Instead, he's Irish and English, so he likes whiskey and potatoes. I would think, with that last name, he might be French? I guess not. Anyway, Carla points out that this is a very personal and intimate challenge, and it would be amazing to win.
Once they get home, they all start going through the portfolios again and showing one another photos. Antonia and Mike talk some more about how they're related and, while it is an amazing coincidence, I think we get it. I'm kind of over it. But the best part is that there is a photo in Mike's portfolio of Mike in a dance class at the age of six. So he's the only boy in a group of girls, and he's wearing a pink polyester jumpsuit with a gold vest over it. And it is AWESOME. I would never let him forget that if I met him. I would find that outfit and wear it every day with a nametag that said "Mike Isabella." Come on! They all have a good laugh over it, as you do.
The morning, Tiffany talks about how she and Carla are BFFs, and they relate to one another. Tiffany says that Carla is "much older." At first, I was like, "Come on, Tiffany. She's got to be less than ten years older than you." Then I went to the Internet and it turns out that Carla is TWENTY YEARS OLDER than Tiffany. How is that possible? I am stunned. Anyway, Carla vows that her goal will be to cook such good food that the judges' decision is really, really difficult.
The cheftestants find a DVD and a set of car keys on the
table, and they run outside to find a Toyota SUV with a built-in DVD player. The DVD tells them that the winner of the challenge will win the car. That's pretty awesome. They take the vehicle to start cooking at a nearby restaurant.Carla is shucking corn as she explains that her family was from a lot of different Southern states, and she wants to pay tribute to them. She remembers her grandma's old beat up biscuit cutter, so she wants to make biscuits. And she's using liquid nitrogen! Blais is surprised but thinks that it's great that Carla is pushing herself this close to the finals. It is cool, but it also reminds me of the sous vide disaster that kept Carla from winning her season, so I'm torn.
Tiffany is working on a dish that they would regularly eat at home, and it includes stewed okra. She knows that Tom isn't a fan, but she hopes she can make it in a way that he will like anyway. Carla tries a little bit and thinks it tastes great. Then again, she's Southern, so she's kind of predisposed to like such a Southern dish.
Antonia explains that her father is undergoing radiation treatment for prostate cancer and she wants to make a dish to honor him, so she's going with braised veal. Blais, meanwhile, is combining his meat market ancestors with his chemist ancestors and making braised short ribs, fried bone marrow, and pickled glassworts. What are glassworts? They are sea beans, according to Blais, although my quick Google search doesn't reveal anything about that. But glasswort is a great word, and Blais recognizes that.
Mike explains that he's never cooked Italian professionally, but he learned it all from his grandmother. This is almost making me root for Mike. I love grandmas. Meanwhile, Carla is trying to get her biscuits done, but the oven isn't getting hot enough, so she's worried. Antonia is making a risotto, which is a tough dish to make exactly right. Remember Tre? Remember how he went home for the wrong texture on his risotto? Yeah. Exactly. Blais is nervous about his food, but you wouldn't be surprised about that, because he's always nervous.
The judges arrive at the table along with the family members of the cheftestants that we met earlier. Judges for this round are Padma, Colicchio, Gail, and the aforementioned Dan Barber. Isn't it going to be weird, criticizing the cheftestants in front of their family members? I feel like anything negative would be met with blank stares or dirty looks. Although, probably at this point the family members are used to the cheftestants' food being critiqued.
Mike serves first: potato gnocchi with braised pork shank ragu and burrata cheese. He explains that his great-grandfather was from Naples, and this dish is something his grandmother cooked for him when he was younger. Colicchio asks when Mike started cooking, and his mom says that he started at three, but his grandmother was the one who taught him. Colicchio tastes the food and then says that there has been a lot of trouble with gnocchi, on this show, but Mike nailed it. Antonia's mom and Carla's husband agree. Dan Barber thinks that gnocchi can be heavy, but this is light and airy, and Mike's mom admits that it's better than his grandmother's gnocchi. That's saying something. I would assume. I never had Mike's grandmother's gnocchi, but grandmas are usually pretty good cooks, especially Italian grandmas.
Antonia's mom talks about Antonia's cooking background. Her parents owned a restaurant and she got behind the counter at ten years old, and has been cooking ever since. She plates her risotto and it spreads out on the plate, so Colicchio will approve. She made braised veal, rapini leaf with fava bean risotto. Antonia explains that her inspiration was what a wife would cook for her husband when he got home from work back in the '60s or whatever. Blais's wife compliments the fava beans and Mike's mom loved the risotto. Colicchio says that both Antonia's and Mike's dishes were not about fancy things or "bells and whistles" but both were packed with flavor. Antonia's mom and Mike's mom jokingly argue about whose dish was better.
Tiffany reminds us that this is the round where she went out in her season, so she's nervous, especially since she made okra, which Tom doesn't like and which can be slimy. Tiffany serves braised short rib with mustard greens, stewed okra, and oxtail marmalade. Tiffany's mom thinks it's delicious and says it's a dish that she made at home. Padma loves the pig's feet and Mike's mom says it's done perfectly. But what does Colicchio think about the okra? He LIKES IT! Blais's wife and Carla's husband both talk about how it's a great example of Southern food, and both admit that they're feeling nervous for their spouses, since all the food has been really good so far.
Blais is plating and says that he's most nervous about cooking for his wife, because she's really competitive and might want him to win more than he wants it for himself. He explains that he went with a steak and potatoes theme for his Irish/English roots, and added corn to pay tribute to his Midwest roots. He made short ribs, potatoes, fried bone marrow, corn puree, and pickled glasswort (sea beans). Colicchio says it was all right, and Blais's wife kind of panics, but he meant that all of it was right, so she relaxes. That won't be the last time someone uses words in a way to make a Blais panic, so fair warning. Carla's husband liked the fried bone marrow and Mrs. Blais enjoyed the corn puree.
As they wait for the course, the other diners ask Carla's husband about her. He says that he's sure she has her game face on and does a funny imitation of what that might look like. It's a meaner face than I think Carla is capable of making. Then someone asks how they met, and Carla's husband admits that they met on match.com. How long until they do a commercial? They should. If I were single and I thought I could meet people like Carla or her husband online, I'd do it. Her husband is cute. Padma is really amazed that they met online. I bet that Padma isn't a big Internet user. She seems very, "So you type words into this, what do you call it, computer? And then you get like, what, matched up?" While they are having this fun conversation, Carla is plating, and she's worried that her plate doesn't look as good as she wanted it to.
Weird interstitial. Everyone tastes one another's food, and all of the food is good. Antonia admits that she and Blais are always nervous while Carla and Tiffany take a more "whatever happens, happens" approach. Blais interviews that all of the big fish are gone and he's the only one left. That's kind of true, but it's not the kind of thing he should say out loud, on camera, because it makes him look like an asshole.
Carla is last to serve, and she explains that her family is primarily from Tennessee, but also from many other Southern states, so she made braised pork shoulder, fried grits, corn and sweet potato hash and cheddar biscuits. Mike's mom had never had grits before, and she liked them. Mrs. Blais loved that Carla passed the biscuits family style, because it really brought the Southern-ness out in the meal. Gail loves the grits, which are seared on one side and it adds a lot of texture. Dan doesn't think there is a dry bite in any part of the meat. Carla's husband explains that she's big on making food memories, either recalling past ones or making new ones, and he is incredibly proud of how she did. He really is bursting with delight, you can tell.
Both Colicchio and Gail point out that this is going to be a hugely difficult task to judge, because all of the food was so good. The cheftestants come back out en masse to applause. They get a few minutes to say goodbye to their loved ones. Mike's mom tells him that his was the best. Aw. Moms. Antonia's mom told the judges that there should be a final five so no one is eliminated. Mrs. Blais has to reassure her husband that everyone liked his food and he's safe. I'm sure he doesn't believe her because he's a freak like that. I wonder if she would be honest with him if she thought he were in trouble, though.
Stew Room. Everyone toasts with champagne. Tiffany tells the others that her mom said everyone's food was good, and her mom would be honest about it. Antonia points out that the judges probably weren't going to say anything too negative about the cheftestants in front of their family members, so Judges' Table is really where they will find out the truth. Padma enters with a smile and asks to see all of them at Judges' Table. They all grab hands before walking out, like the toys on Toy Story 3. Aw.
Once they get in front of the judges, Padma thanks them for a wonderful meal, but only four of them can move ahead. Carla says it was amazing to go to Ellis Island, and inspirational to find out about her roots. Gail compliments her broth and her cheddar biscuits. Dan says that her pork was excellent, and Tom says that her broth was "round," but her corn was a bit tough. He asks if she fried the grits, and Carla says that she used liquid nitrogen to freeze them before frying, so they would stay together. Gail is like, "You did what?" and Carla laughs. Even Blais the sourpuss cracks a smile. Tom tells her that it all worked together.
Blais says it was very emotional having his wife there, and it was tough for him, because he's such a mutt and he didn't want to turn his dish into "Epcot Center." Dan tells him that the dish was thoughtful from start to finish. Tom thinks it was "well thought out" and "made perfect sense" and the flavors worked together.
Antonia says that veal was a "celebratory protein" that her grandmothers would serve to their husbands to warm them and fill them. Gail thinks she was brave to serve risotto, given the history of the dish on the show, but it had a great texture. Tom says this was confident risotto, which is also the name of my third album.
Tiffany knew she was from Texas and Louisiana, so she had to make okra. Tom admits that she converted him with the okra, and she cheers VERY LOUDLY. Tom says that it wasn't slimy, which is always his problem with okra, and it was great to hear her mom talk about food, because she and Tiffany are so similar.
Padma asks Mike about his gnocchi recipe, and Mike says that his grandmother would start cooking in the morning which gave her gravy a depth of flavor. Dan thinks the dish was rich and hearty, and Gail thinks Mike should always listen to his mother because the dish was "soulful and satisfying." Colicchio says he doesn't know if he could take his own mother's advice, even though she's a great cook. Mike wipes some tears away, and tells them that he was very close to his grandmother before she died, and he hasn't cooked her food since she died. Gail tells him that his mother thought her mother's gnocchi was the best, until she had Mike's. Okay. They got me. I am seriously crying right now. ABOUT MIKE! I HATE HIM! Ugh. Show. Why do you do this to me?
The cheftestants head back to the Stew Room to wait. Tiffany is happy that the judges liked their food and compliments Mike on how open he was and emotional. Mike says he thought he was past missing his grandmother, and Carla tells him that cooking is more than a job and you can taste when someone puts love into the food. Antonia breaks up the love-fest when she reminds them that someone still needs to go home.
The judges deliberate. Tom says that he doesn't even know where to start, and he can only nitpick tiny things. He cleaned his plate on Antonia's dish, and her proportions were perfect. Gail can only say that the veal was "just a hair salty." Dan thought Mike's gnocchi was brilliant and Tom thought it was absolutely delicious. The only criticism is that Dan would have used a little less meat. Moving on to Blais, Dan says that the flavors were perfect. Tom loved the sea beans, but Padma wanted more green. Gail loved how he embraced his past but moved it into the future. Tom thought Carla's broth was the best part of the dish but the garnish got lost. Gail loved the grits cake and they laugh over how she froze it in liquid nitrogen. Gail points out that everything on Tiffany's plate was a window into her life, but Tom thought she needed to lose some accessories. Tom thinks this is an impossible decision, but apparently they have made one. And at this point, they have given no hint about who's going home because all the problems were so minute! What's going to happen?
Padma reminds them that the winner gets to move on to the finals and also wins a new car. Dan gets to announce the winner. He says that it was an incredible dinner with great dishes, but the one that rose above was the dish made by Antonia. She is giddy with delight. I love how happy Tiffany and Carla are for her. Richard and Mike are still grouchy and nervous, though. Padma says that she also gets to go to the finals, which will take place in the Bahamas. And then Tom tells Mike that he's safe and will be going to the Bahamas as well, and Padma sends them out. Tom's announcement was totally added in post, which was weird. Anyway, Mike and Antonia go back to the Stew Room and are so, so happy.
But back at Judges' Table, Tiffany, Blais, and Carla are still in jeopardy. Tom says that Tiffany gave them a soulful plate, Richard pulled off Irish and English food, and Carla made one of the best sauces he's had all season. Tom gives a hint of what's to come when he says that he "would hate to see any of them go home." Wouldn't he normally say that he does hate to see any of them go home? Bad phrasing. So then Padma tells Richard to pack his knives...and it's very strangely edited...and get ready to go to the Bahamas. Richard seriously just had a heart attack. He heard pack your knives and was mentally preparing to be gracious about that and then the second part came and that was just really mean. I mean, of all the people to do that to. He manages to pull himself together enough to thank them before he runs out of the room and tells Antonia and Mike that he's safe.
So now it's down to Tiffany and Carla. Tom tells them that they've been going back and forth and nitpicking and trying to make sense of it, and it's a tough decision. Padma says, "Carla. Tiffany. You're both going to the Bahamas." Tiffany and Carla laugh and hug, and the judges are all laughing. Tiffany says she had already told herself that she was going home. Tom tells them that it was too tough to make a decision, and so they didn't. I don't blame them. It would suck to send someone home for a really good dish that had a little too much salt or whatever. Like not inedibly salty, but just a smidge salty, and it sounds like it would have been that level of nitpicking.
Tiffany and Carla return to the Stew Room and pretend to be all sad before revealing that they're all going to the Bahamas. Antonia seems happy. Mike and Blais seem a little bit like, "Shit, that hurts my odds of winning" but they pretend to be happy. Mike even admits in an interview that he would rather have four people in the finals than five, but he's happy anyway. Carla points out that three of the five are women, and it would be great to have a female winner. As long as it's deserved, I can deal with any of these winners. Except maybe Mike. I think that would bug me. And it all starts week.