It's the first real All-Star season, and the competition looks intensely fierce. Seriously, I could maybe pick five people that could win it, but narrowing it down beyond that is impossible, and I would probably be wrong about those five. There are very few duds in this cast, and I hope that makes for a great season. The thing that's most exciting to me is that even some of the weaker cheftestants have presumably spent the years since their season working and getting better, so it's really an even field. Plus, some of my favorites are back -- Carla, Blais and Jen -- so I'm thrilled. I don't know that they're the best chefs, but I enjoy watching them work.
Quickfire Challenge: They're divided into teams by season and must make a dish representing the city where their season took place.
Season 1 from San Francisco (Tiffani and Stephen) make cioppino gazpacho with sourdough. They don't serve wine, so maybe Stephen has lightened up on that.
Season 2 from Los Angeles (Marcel and Elia) make shrimp tacos with guacamole and an apple wrapper. Marcel tries to get Tom to say if he likes it, like Colicchio's going to fall for that.
Season 3 from Miami (Casey, Dale and Tre) make pork tenderloin, avocado lime puree, tostones and habanero sauce.
Season 4 from Chicago (Blais, Spike, Antonia and Dale T.) made pork and black pepper sausage with mustard ice cream, a take on the Chicago hot dog. Really, mustard ice cream?
Season 5 from New York (Carla, Fabio and Jamie) made a trio of apple, curried apple soup, pasta with bacon and caramelized apple, and ribeye with apple, walnut, and blue cheese slaw. They were the only team to have each person make his or her own dish instead of collaborating.
Season 6 from Las Vegas (Jen and Mike I (blech)) made bucatini with bacon lobster carbonara
Season 7 from DC (Angelo and Tiffany) made crab cake essence with rockfish, lemongrass, jalapeno and Old Bay. They probably had the easiest time working together, since they just finished their season before filming began.
Tom thinks the worst are Seasons 1, 2, 5, and 7, but the problems are all really minor, like seasoning. So the best are seasons 3, 4 and 6 and the winner is Season 6. Tom loved the mustard ice cream, and they get immunity in the first challenge.
Elimination Challenge: Each chef has to redo the dish that got him or her eliminated. Padma also explains that the judges this season will be her, Tom, Gail and Anthony Bourdain. The people who seem to be in trouble early on are Elia and Fabio, who didn't think there was anything wrong with the dish in the first place; Jamie, who hated the Eric Ripert dish she had to make and still does; and Stephen, who got eliminated during Restaurant Wars, so he has to make three dishes that he's never even made before.
Because the kitchen where the food is served is so small, the cheftestants are split into two groups, and the non-cooking group gets to eat the other group's food. The first group doesn't know that the cheftestants get to see and hear what the diners are saying. Yikes.
Blais: braised pork belly with bread and butter radishes, mirin and cheddar. He keeps plating after time was called, so he gets disqualified and can't win. Luckily, his dish is good enough that he also doesn't get sent home. In fact, a few people think he would have won.
Angelo: homemade ramen with sweet glazed pork belly and watermelon. Bourdain said it was one of his favorites.
Dale T.: butterscotch miso scallops with crispy long beans and spicy eggplant. Bourdain, who previously called it the worst dish in the show's history, likes it.
Tiffany: pan-seared halibut, coconut curry, steamed rice balls and pea tendrils. Steamed Rice Balls is the name of my punk band.
Tre: cured wild King salmon, grapefruit gelee and a salted macadamia cookie.
Tiffani: crispy branzino, black olive pappardelle and spicy fennel.
Stephen: lobster harumaki, Kumamoto oyster sabayon and deconstructed crab soup dumplings. He had three dishes to make, none of them were his to start with, and the diners don't like it regardless.
Fabio: handmade caserecci, crawfish and crab stew. Bourdain is very vocal about how much he hated it.
Elia: red snapper steamed in ti leaf with snapper jus. The diners think the fish is underdone and the jus is watery. Elia is so stressed that she can't even watch them eat it.
The second group has the luxury of knowing that the others can hear them. Fabio thinks he has to confront Anthony Bourdain for his harsh comments and Bourdain clearly thinks Fabio is beneath him, because he is. I mean, seriously. He's Anthony Freaking Bourdain.
Antonia: sausage with cilantro, pigeon pea puree, and roasted cherry blossoms. The diners, save for Tiffany, praise it.
Spike: pickled mushrooms, scallops and lime dressing with hearts of palm salad. The diners are all amused that Spike managed to make the scallops extraneous, since he was eliminated the first time for using frozen scallops.
Jamie: pan-seared black bass, celery, green peppercorn and herb salad. She made it her own, according to Colicchio.
Mike: melted leeks, carrot puree and salt-crusted potatoes. Dude, did he make salt potatoes? I live in Syracuse, the capitol of salt potatoes. And if you've never had them, you really must. They're just small white potatoes cooked in salt water, and then served in a pool of melted butter. I never knew they were a regional dish until I moved to Michigan, and people were like, "Salt potatoes? Never heard of them. Here, have a paczki." Anyway, it gets good reviews.
Dale L.: curry poached lobster dumplings, chanterelle, corn and bacon. Everyone agrees that the dumpling was too pasty.
Carla: grilled strip steak, smashed potatoes, tarragon butter and red wine sauce. I would like that it my mouth right now.
Casey: molasses-glazed pork belly, pickled peaches and whipped crème fraiche. Gail asserts that Casey's food is much-improved.
Marcel: uni and caviar, Meyer lemon gelee, fennel cream and kalamata olive dust. It looks like a bowl of alien eyeballs.
Jen: duck, squash, foie gras, apple cider vinaigrette and micro arugula. The duck isn't cooked perfectly, so points are deducted.
Judges' Table: Spike, Jamie, Blais and Angelo are the top four, but Blais is told that he's disqualified for going over time. He seems shocked. Did he not hear the timer? It looked pretty clear-cut. And then Angelo is the winner of $10,000 and the honor of being the best of the best in the first week.
Fabio, Stephen and Elia are called in as the bottom three. Elia is shocked to hear that some of her fish was raw, not even in the middle, but on the top. So how could she not have noticed? Fabio butts heads with Bourdain and it seems that Fabio's ego has gotten a little out of control. And Elia pathetically begs not to be eliminated before the judges start deliberating. Seriously, it's really sad. And then they eliminate her anyway. Ouch.
It's All-Stars! And I think this is one show where All-Stars is not a cop-out season. I think it will be as competitive as always, if not moreso, and I think it will be interesting to see how cheftestants from different seasons will stack up. And also to kind of catch up with cheftestants we haven't seen cook in a while. So the first former cheftestant to return is Tiffani from Season One. That's Tiffani with an "I," to differentiate her from last season's Tiffany with a Y, who is also on this show. But their names are spelled differently, so just remember that the one that ends in I is the one with red hair. And she's not your bitch, bitch. Or you're not her bitch, bitch. That's probably more accurate. Anyway, she looks fan-freaking-tastic. She looks younger, somehow, and she promises to "cook [her] nuts off," so she hasn't lost that competitive edge. I always thought she got a bum rap because she's kind of got bitchface, and some people are just born with it.
She meets up with Stephen, the wine dude from Season One, who has not aged as well. Like most of us, he has put on a few pounds over the years. He claims that he's never nervous. He's someone that I don't know would have made it on the show in later seasons; the caliber of cheftestant just got higher and higher, and I don't know that he would have made the cut. But maybe he will prove me wrong! Probably not.
to arrive is Elia, from Season Two. She has a lot more hair than the last time we saw her, and somehow her English skills got worse. Has she spent a lot of time out of the country? I don't remember her accent being this strong. Anyway, she promises that she will win, and I'm sure she's right. Right on her heels is Marcel. BOOOOOOOOO! I hate Marcel. I don't hate him because he's a pretentious git, although that doesn't help. I hate him because he thinks he's such a great chef, and I really don't think he is. I'm hoping that the presence of others who are as good if not better at the molecular gastronomy thing will take him down a few notches. Here's why I hate Marcel: he claims that, during his season, he was seen as a threat, and that's why no one liked him. No, no one liked him because he's impossible and annoying and has no social skills, and has hair like Wolverine, and thinks he invented foam. Gah! I'm already all worked up.
Moving on to Season Three, we have Tre, who was eliminated earlier than he probably should have been. Marcel refers to him as a "beast," which must be the new chef compliment. Chef-pliment? Compli-chef? Marcel immediately tries to ingratiate himself with Tre, who looks like he's not interested. Here's why Tre is a million times better than Marcel: after he makes the obligatory statement about how awesome he is, he laughs at himself. Marcel has never in the history of ever laughed at himself. Also from Season Three are Dale L. (because his name is spelled the same as the other Dale) and Casey. They're BFFs right? Didn't we find that out on one of the one-off All Star things? Since I watched but didn't recap the earlier seasons, I really mostly remember Casey as being Carla's sous chef who maybe did or did not cause Carla to lose. Anyway, Dale and Casey were two-thirds of the final three in their season. The footage they show looks like someone is making a video of their circa 1973 television screen. Were things really that bad before HD? Anyway, they clearly deserve another shot.
From Season Four, we have Richard Blais (who I'm just going to call Blais, since that's what the others on the show seem to call him), who has somehow become more Jim Breuer/Carrey looking since his season. I think he's lost weight and his face looks more rubbery. Anyway, he probably should have won his season, even though I liked Stephanie at the time, but I think he was probably taking more risks than her and pushing the culinary envelope.
Spike from Season Four is also back. He really thinks he's awesome. But again, unlike Marcel, he has a sense of humor. Joining him is Antonia, who didn't make a huge impression on me at the time, but I like her more in retrospect. She was a solid chef, and probably got overshadowed by some of the alpha males on her season. Ugh, and the awful, awful Lisa. Thank God she didn't come back. But you know who did? Dale T. So they got the top four from that season, minus the winner and horrible Lisa. Interesting.
From Season Five, Jamie has returned, and I am psyched. I always loved her. And she also looks fantastic. Of course, Fabio is back from that season as well. He's changed his hair and gone for more of a shaggy look instead of his short hair; the short hair was better. Fabio reminds us that he got into a tiff with Marcel when Fabio hosted that special and Marcel was an asshole. Fabio, by appearances, seems to be morphing into an LA douchebag. Like, he probably wears Ed Hardy. I wish Stefan were there to take some of the wind out of his sails. I miss Stefan. But you know who is there? CARLA! YAY! I ended up loving Carla after not being convinced that she deserved to be there for a while. I still have the .gif someone sent me of Carla pretending to look over her shoulders and then forging ahead in the competition. It makes me happy. Plus, I feel like the editing didn't do Carla any favors. She seemed like a caterer or a home cook for a while, and then suddenly near the end, we learned that she has classic training and could bust out a French sauce. Go CARLA!
Everyone (except the contestants from other seasons) agrees that Season Six had the most talent, so who is back from that season? Jen and Mike I. Love the former and hate the latter. I love Jen because she held her own in a male-dominated season and didn't bitch about it. She just made it happen. I still hate Mike I. I've softened a little, but so has his neck. By which I mean, he's put on like a whole person since we last saw him.
And from the most recent season, we already know that we're going to see Angelo and Tiffany. I think Angelo has a chance, but I'm not so sure about Tiffany. I love her as a person, but I don't know if she can compete with the best of the best. We'll see.
Everyone dons the black chef coats, and I love the camaraderie already, and that we don't have to spend a ton of time getting to know each person, since we already sort of know them. They all head into the Top Chef kitchen, where Padma and Colicchio await. They all feel sort of sick walking back into the kitchen. Padma reminds them that they were some of the best, but none of them won the top prize. But this season will offer the biggest grand prize ever: $200,000. Plus lots of prizes along the way. Cheftestants from the earlier seasons are like, "Holy crap, we never got shit!" And they really didn't. There were no high stakes Quickfires or cars or anything.
Colicchio says that he always hears from various cheftestants that their own season was the best or the hardest or the most talented. So for this Quickfire, Padma explains, they will have to create a dish with the others from their season, representing the city where their season took place. So is Spike losing his hair? Is that why he always wears a hat? As much as the fedora he wore during his season seemed like an affectation, I think I prefer it to the backwards baseball cap he's sporting now. Anyway, the winning team members get immunity in the first elimination. Padma points out the equipment, which is another thing that cheftestants from earlier seasons didn't get. Remember Marcel and Blais having to rig up equipment because the kitchen didn't have it? That's not true anymore. There's nitrogen and sous vide and everything. Level playing field.
Padma tells them that they have twenty-five minutes and everyone takes off running to grab their proteins, probably. Season Four has the challenge of having the most participants, four, but they seem to work well together and make decisions quickly without arguing. They decide to make a Chicago hot dog and Blais is going to make mustard ice cream. Why would you ruin ice cream like that? I like m
ustard okay. I love ice cream. I don't ever want to combine them. Spike is making a fresh sausage.Angelo and Tiffany are going to make a crab cake of some sort, and they discuss what seasonings to use. It goes quickly, probably both because they just finished working together recently, and are familiar with each other's strengths, and also because I think they each made crab cakes at least once last season. Season Five from New York has decided to do a trio of apple dishes, since there are three of them, and just work on individual dishes instead of collaborating. COP OUT. One ingredient in common isn't a cohesive dish, and they don't seem to spend a lot of time discussing how to make the three items work together other than, "Use apples." I get why it's easier to make individual dishes but being easier doesn't mean it's better.
Season Three are going Caribbean for their Miami roots. Dale L. claims that he always hears on the street that their season was the best. Who said that? What street? No one has ever said that their season was the best. Come on.
Marcel and Elia are making fish tacos with an apple wrapper. I'm not sure of the logistics of eating that dish (like how does the apple not break? Is it cooked? And then doesn't it get mushy?) but agree that fish tacos represent California well. Marcel can't believe the kitchen and all the equipment. Elia doesn't understand why everyone is freaking out. Maybe because they want to win?
Tiffani and Stephen have decided to make a cioppino, or seafood stew, to represent San Francisco. Tiffani worries that Stephen is "a little rusty." I think to be rusty, he would have had to possess cooking skills in the first place. I'm worried that he has no skills to rust. Tiffani can hopefully carry them, though.
Jen and Mike I. quickly realize that Vegas doesn't have its own food culture like the other cities, so they decide to go with Italian food to represent the old mobster scene. Like Frankie and Sammy and Dean-o, eh? Jen makes this weird face in her interviews, and I think it's because she's being kind of sarcastic when she says that everyone is intimidated by her and thinks her season is the best. Her season was the best. She doesn't have to be sarcastic. I don't know what was up with that weird facial expression/posture.
So Blais busts out the liquid nitrogen to make his ice cream, but he has some trouble with the equipment. Spike calls his "Professor Blais" and they cut to a shot of Blais wearing long rubber gloves and a welder's mask, messing with the nitrogen tanks, and it cracks me up. Padma tells them that they have five minutes.
Angelo is walking somewhere with their fish pieces. Where is he going? I don't know. Anyway, Stephen bumps him accidentally and Angelo drops the fish on the floor. Angelo quickly fillets another fish, poorly by his own admission, and slaps two pieces of fish on the plate. He realizes that it's better to have something kind of ugly but tasty on the plate than to serve up nothing. I really think he would have served the floor fish if the cameras hadn't been around. I would have. What? It's fine. Please. You eat a lot of dirt and don't even know it. As time runs out, all of the teams are taking it down to the wire. Yikes.
Tom and Padma eat in season order, so first to serve are Tiffani and Stephen, who made cioppino gazpacho with sourdough. Okay, they couldn't have made the bread in twenty-five minutes, so was it in the pantry? And did they do more than toast it? Stephen is sweating and Tiffani makes a face like, "Well, that happened."
Moving on, Marcel and Elia) made shrimp tacos with guacamole and an apple wrapper. Okay, so what I'm seeing in the photo is a very, very thing slice of green apple with a giant glop of guacamole on top and then two shrimp. How are you supposed to eat that exactly? You can't actually use the apple as a wrapper, because it will snap. And it's too big to stuff into your mouth whole. We don't get to see Tom and Padma take a bite, and Tom asks why they used an apple wrapper. Yeah, why? Marcel says because it's light and fresh, which is a dumb reason, and wants to know if Tom likes it. Tom looks at him like, "You seriously think I'm going to answer that?" and says they'll find out later. Mike I. interviews that Marcel hasn't matured at all, and he's still a brat. Agreed, Mike I. Hate you, but I agree.
Casey, Dale, and Tre represented Miami with pork tenderloin, avocado lime puree, tostones, and mango-habanero sauce. Not a lot to say about this one, other than Tre had a hard time getting the pork finished, but they don't mention if it was undercooked or what.
The Chicago Four (Blais, Spike, Antonia, and Dale T.) made pork and black pepper sausage with mustard ice cream, a take on the Chicago hot dog. Blais says that the mustard ice cream is supposed to represent the avant garde scene in Chicago. No one winces when they taste it, and they make the smart decision to serve it deconstructed, so there's no bun. Fabio is dubious, like me.
Carla, Fabio, and Jamie made a trio of apple, curried apple soup, pasta with bacon and caramelized apple, and ribeye with apple, walnut, and blue cheese slaw. Padma make the only comment: "Interesting flavors." Jamie and Carla make a face behind her back like, "What does THAT mean?" Carla interviews that "interesting" is the kiss of death.
Jen and Mike I made bucatini pasta with bacon lobster carbonara. Mike I made fresh pasta, so give him some props. They don't explain how it represents Vegas, at least not that we see.
Finally, Angelo and Tiffany made crab cake essence with rockfish, lemongrass, jalapeno, and Old Bay. Tiffany admits that she really wants immunity.
Time for Tom to announce the results. The bad news is that Marcel and Elia underseasoned the shrimp, and the apple didn't work as a wrapper because it was too thick. Told you! So Season Two is out. Tiffani and Stephen had good flavors, but used too much raw garlic and thus Season One is out. Season Five did the trio, and Tom felt that the three dishes weren't tied together. And he thought the soup (which Jamie made) was the only really good component. Jamie gloats a bit. And finally for losers, Season Seven used a little too much salt. Seriously, they didn't win because they used a little too much salt. That goes to show you the margin of error this season.
So now let's talk about the better dishes. Season Three had great flavors. Season Five was inventive and Tom loved the mustard ice cream. Tom has come a long way -- he used to kind of hate anything molecular on sight, and he's more open to it now. He's evolved. Good for him. And Season Six made great pasta with great flavors. So who won? The dish that represented its city well and had a ton of flavor was the Chicago dish by Season Five. Dale T. interviews that they have set the bar and now everyone else has to catch up. Mike I. claims that he's not impressed by a sausage with mustard. Says the guy who made spaghetti. Padma reminds them that all four of those teammates have immunity from elimination.
And then it's time to introduce the Elimination Challenge. A bunch of waiters come out with silver trays with lids and set one in front of each cheftestant. Padma tells them that she knows that none of them wants to be told, again, to pack their knives and go, but one of them will be the first eliminated after this challenge. She allows them to lift the lids, and they find a small pile of ingredients (different for each person), and a card with the name of a dish. They all seem to immediately recognize what that is, and most look fairly unhappy. Padma explains that these are the ingredients that sent them home the first time around. So the challenge is to remake the dish and make it successful this time. Tom adds that they can improve upon the dish, but they can't stray too far from the original dish. So for example, if the dish that originally sent them home was grilled chicken, they can't turn it into chicken soft tacos, I would imagine. So this is their shot at redemption, especially those w
ho didn't think they should have been sent home in the first place. Of course, the competition is probably a lot tougher this time around. They have three hours that day and two hours the in the Russian Tea Room. The judges will be Anthony Bourdain, the notoriously prickly and tough chef, and Gail Simmons, who must be exhausted with all her work lately. So time starts.Everyone hops to, and Spike interviews that he can't believe that he has to prepare frozen scallops again. We flash back to his elimination, when he argued with Rick Tramonto about whether or not he should have used the frozen scallops, and blames Rick for having them in his freezer in the first place, like Spike was forced to use them at gunpoint. I kind of forgot how Spike went out like a bitch. I was never that impressed with Spike in the first place, and probably only a quarter as impressed as he was with himself. I'm interested to see how he does this season. I think he's a great marketer, and he knows what people want, but I don't know about his skills as a chef, at least compared to some of the others here. Anyway, Spike explains that he's going to use all of his tricks in his arsenal to mask the flavor of the scallops, since that was the component that led to his elimination.
Dale T. reminds us that he has to cook miso butterscotch scallops, and it sucks to be him, because the guest judge on the night he was originally eliminated was none other than Anthony Bourdain, who said that the butterscotch scallops was the worst dish in the history of the show. OUCH. Also, it does sound pretty disgusting. I'm not a huge butterscotch fan in the first place, but with scallops? No thank you. Dale wonders how he can save a dish where the concept was the problem in the first place, so he decides to start by making less butterscotch. Like maybe no butterscotch? I don't know if he would get away with that, but it would definitely improve the dish.
Fabio and Dale L. barter over lobsters, since there are a limited amount and they both need some. Fabio interviews that he has to make a pasta dish with crawfish and crab. The problem is that Fabio doesn't think there was anything wrong with his dish in the first place. Uh oh. That's a red flag. I just reread the recap where Fabio was eliminated, and it's never clear exactly why someone left for the most part, but it seemed like the judges felt like the flavor in his pasta was muddy, like it all blended together too much and didn't stand out. Although he made multiple dishes in that episode, and it wasn't like the pasta was singled out as the worst dish, so...
The cheftestants all start cooking and looking for specific ingredients. Stephen got eliminated during Wedding Wars (not Restaurant Wars, as I thought previously), so it was a team challenge, and he handled front of house and pretty much nothing else (except the wine, obviously). So he has to cook three dishes (why? Fabio didn't?) and none of them are really HIS dishes. Looking back at the recap (thanks, keckler), it seems that he did some of the work for his dishes, but the other cheftestants had to assemble, and he was really eliminated because the catering for the reception was a ton of work and Stephen bailed on them, not because the dish was the worst one. But also, it was four years ago, so who knows if he even remembers the dish. Tre interviews that Stephen is "a great front-of-the-house guy" and "a great dresser," but he hasn't worked his way up and done his time in the kitchen.
Elia has to make a red snapper that was steamed inside a ti leaf. I don't know what she is doing to that poor fish, but it is getting mangled. I just looked back at Elia's elimination and, dude, I totally forgot that she accused Marcel of cheating with zero evidence other than that he moved a pan of hers which had no effect on the outcome. God, that was an ugly season. So she has a history of making a fool of herself at Judges' Table. Anyway, it seems like the problem with her original dish was that it didn't incorporate Hawaiian flavors, which was the point of the challenge, but not that it wasn't a good dish. So I can kind of see where she's coming from in that it wasn't a terrible dish in the first place. She just didn't meet the requirements of the challenge that week. We see Elia cutting the ti leaves and placing a GIANT HUNK of fish on each one, which seems problematic, since she wont be able to tell if the fish is cooked well since it's gigantic. Fish is so difficult to cook well, I think.
Jamie asks for some help from Blais with the sous vide machine. She interviews that she had to recreate Eric Ripert's dish, black bass with braised celery, and she did it badly. She hated the dish then, and she still does, but it's what she's got. I still don't get braised celery. That sounds disgusting. Jamie complains to Casey that the celery doesn't taste like anything. Exactly. Although I guess that's her challenge.
Blais says that Angelo is impressing him with his ability to make fresh pasta. I don't think Angelo's season had aired when this was filmed? So no one knows anything about Angelo or Tiffany, presumably. Angelo explains to Tiffany that he's making Japanese ramen, and he interviews that he's working hard to make the textures and the flavors perfect.
Dale T. is having a blast in the kitchen, since he has immunity. He messes around with some liquid nitrogen, and also bakes corn muffins (which look terrible but probably taste great). He's laughing and joking around and having a great time. I hope he doesn't forget to also make a good dish. I know he can't be eliminated, but he doesn't want to embarrass himself.
Mike has to make braised leeks, a dish which didn't have a lot of natural depth of flavor, at least compared to dishes with pork belly or fish. So he has to figure out how to make it flavorful without those components. He plans to smoke the leeks, except he forgets about it until Tre mentions that he is considering smoking a part of his dish. That doesn't bode well. Jen, meanwhile, is determined to make her duck breast perfect, and especially making sure it's not overseasoned, since that was her original problem. She's trying to decide whether or not to sous vide the duck on site. I guess she decides not to, since we see a shot of her browning some meat in a pan. Although the meat in the pan doesn't look like breast meat, so maybe it's just a sauce or something. Anyway, Jen is confident that she's going to be on top in this challenge.
Carla reminds us that she was eliminated in the finals, and Casey was her sous chef. Casey encouraged her to sous vide the meat, which Carla had never done before, and it got her eliminated. Carla doesn't blame Casey, though, but she also doesn't intend to cook food any way but her own this time around. Smart idea.
Sort of confused as to why Marcel is plating his food already? Like not just one practice plate, but a bunch of plates are out and being finished. Maybe he's doing everything but the actual dish ahead of time, although that might be difficult to transport. I'll have to look more closely at the finished product and figure out what happened there. Antonia tells us that Spike is lucky to have immunity, so he's working hard to disguise the frozen scallops in his dish. Not sure what immunity has to do with that, but whatever. I would think he would do that regardless. Anyway, Antonia thinks he's sneaky. Everyone starts packing up to travel the day, and time is up.
The day, the cheftestants arrive at the Russian Tea Room, which has a really small kitchen. They will have two hours to prep before serving. Colicchio comes in while everyone is still finding their food and explains that, because the kitchen is so small, they'll be split into two groups for serving. The twist is that the non-serving group gets to eat the other group's food. Antonia expresses that this is a huge advantage, because then you know what you are up against. Also, the winner of this challenge gets ten grand, which is a nice touch.
Group One starts cooking while G
roup Two heads out to presumably change clothes, since they were dressed for cooking, not dining. This makes me wonder if they knew about it ahead of time, because otherwise, why would they have a change of clothes? Then again, they have two hours before service, so maybe they just ran back to wherever they are staying. I don't know where they stayed versus where they ate, so I don't know how plausible that is.Stephen, in particular, looks a little lost in the kitchen. It seems like every shot features him looking around frantically for a piece of equipment. He interviews that he has three dishes to prepare, so he's at a disadvantage. Plus, there's the fact that his cooking skills are not up to the level of the others. I mean, please. He might not go home first, but does he really think he's going to win this thing? I almost feel sorry for him.
Cooking, plating, tasting. Blais says that his new train of thought for this season is to "push all the way up until the end," so he plans to cook until the last second. Meanwhile, the other group is joining the judges at the table. They all look a little nervous. I read in Gail's blog that the atmosphere was a little weird because usually the judges don't fraternize with the cheftestants during the season, but they actually know these cheftestants fairly well due to post-season appearances and specials. So they're kind of colleagues, but then again, they will be judging them later, so they have to keep a professional distance. So it's awkward, is what I'm saying.
Elia is busy plating her fish, and you see her holding the fish in her fingers and placing it on the plate, so it's not like she didn't have the opportunity to check it out thoroughly. Keep that in mind for later. Blais is piping something into a tube. Stephen has two minutes left, and he's barely started plating. He has a sheet of something (seaweed, maybe?) on each plate and that's it. He looks like he doesn't even know where to start. Cut to fifteen seconds left and Stephen is still garnishing. Tiffani stops by to help, and tells him that his dishes have to be in the window when time's up, which Stephen apparently didn't know. She starts grabbing his dishes and putting them in the window for him. Aw. I like this kinder, gentler Tiffani who acts all sisterly with Stephen even though she probably could cook circles around him. Stephen sweats and just starts throwing stuff on his plates with seven seconds left. I don't know if they were perfect, but at least each dish had the three major components on it when it left the kitchen.
So time is up, and the way it's edited, it looks like Blais is still garnishing or futzing around somehow. I don't know how much of that actually happened after time was up, but we do see Tre muttering, "Come on, time's up dude." And then Tiffani comments to someone else, "Blais is over there foaming his dishes to order." And then it seems like someone says, "You have to be ready to GO," though we don't see who says it and so that could have been dropped in from any other conversation. I do think that Blais went over time; I just don't know whether or not he knew it, and how many other people noticed and were mad about it, and also what exactly he was doing after time was called. Not that it makes a huge difference; he missed the deadline, so something needs to be done, I guess.
The dishes are placed on the dining table, and Gail and Padma both comment on the fact that they remember some of these dishes from the first time around. Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, a huge TV (that no one noticed previously?) comes on and the cheftestants can see and hear the others eating their food. The question is whether or not the diners know they are being observed. Tiffani thinks no. I think they've all been on television before, so they have to have at least suspected this, right? Padma tries Elia's dish and finds a big scale in it. Oops. Elia, meanwhile, is the only cheftestant who doesn't want to watch as her food is eaten. I get that, although I don't know if I would be able to resist. And she's going to find out what they thought eventually, either at Judges' Table or when she watches this episode (assuming she does).
The first dish up for discussion is by Blais: braised pork belly with bread and butter radishes, mirin, and cheddar. Looking at the plate, I'm trying to figure it all out. I see the pork and the radishes. I'm guessing the little tubes that look like fresh pasta are made of cheddar? And then the foam inside is the mirin, foamed? Casey likes the crunch on the pork belly, and Casey adds that it was the best of any dish she tasted. Richard soaks in the high praise.
Angelo served homemade ramen with sweet glazed pork belly and watermelon. Bourdain said it was one of his favorites. Mike I. thought it was solid and Jen calls it harmonious.
Dale T. served the previously derided butterscotch miso scallops with crispy long beans and spicy eggplant. Bourdain brings up the Marine Corps saying that you need to unfuck yourself, and proclaims that Dale unfucked this dish. Everyone laugh. He's a colorful guy, that Bourdain. But that has to feel good for Dale, to go from being the worst dish in the show's history to having it called unfucked. Although I guess the bar was pretty low, but then again, Bourdain hated the whole concept of the dish, so the fact that he even considered it edible is good.
Tiffany served a kind of boring pan-seared halibut, coconut curry, steamed rice balls, and pea tendrils. Steamed Rice Balls is the name of the all-Asian girl punk band I'm going to start. Carla thinks the fish is a little overcooked, and Jamie adds that the broth could have used a little sugar. I mean, so far no one is saying anything so horrible, which makes me think they knew they were being watched. I know when you get a group of recappers together, there's nothing we love more than to rip on horrible television or even horrible writing about television, so I would assume chefs love to rip on each other's food. Then again, the food is probably pretty top notch, so maybe there's nothing bad to say?
Tre made cured wild King salmon, grapefruit gelee, and salted macadamia cookie. Jen comments that she thought the toast (or cookie, as Tre called it) overpowers the flavor of the salmon. Interesting that we're not seeing a lot of the judges' comments here, but maybe they are picking cheftestant comments that represent what the judges said and/or are controversial.
Tiffani created a dish that was crispy branzino, black olive pappardelle, and spicy fennel. Spike likes the Mediterranean flavors, but Mike is thrown off by the kimchi marinade. Did she use one? Who knows? Anyway, Mike thinks that the flavors are different and challenging, but not in a good way.
Stephen created three dishes: lobster harumaki, Kumamoto oyster sabayon, and deconstructed crab soup dumplings. Dale L. thinks the flavors were swampy and muddled, and Jamie says that it's not for her, both in presentation and flavor. Bourdain proclaims that there are other cheftestants who could have solved the problems that made Stephen get eliminated in the first place, but Stephen didn't do it. So he failed. Period. Stephen admits that hearing that hurt a little bit.
Fabio's dish was handmade caserecci, crawfish and crab stew. So it's a tomato-based sauce over fresh pasta, and it's served on a sheet of parchment paper that has been browned on the edges. It looks heavy and has a ton of fried basil on top. No, like a ton. Bourdain says he really hates it, and he keeps tasting it to make sure he does hate it as much as he thinks. He says that it looks like "an inside-out animal." Wow, it kind of does. It's very heavily sauced, to the point of being soupy. And while I sometimes eat my pasta that way at home, if it were fresh pasta, I would think you wouldn't want the sauce to overpower the pasta that way. Fabio interviews that he finds Bourdain's comment stupid, and he's going to tell him so. Because that will... do nothing in the grand scheme of things. You go, Fabio! How dare Tony Bourdain judge your food? It's not like he's got a ton more experience than you, and was hired to... be a judge. Of your food. Hmm.
Before they discuss Elia's dish, Fabio finds her sitting alone in the kitchen. He tells her what Bourdain said about his pasta, and then urges her to come watch them dissect her food. Because that will convince her. Elia says that she can't deal with it. I'm a little concerned about her putting herself back into the public eye if she's such a fragile flower. At the end of the day, it's one dish. It's not like she's standing in front of them, naked, and asking for a physical and emotional critique, but she's acting like she is. Elia made red snapper steamed in ti leaf with snapper jus. Jamie says that the fish was kind of raw, and Dale thinks it tastes like she gave up, and the jus is watery. Antonia pulls a face at how harsh the comments are, and Tiffany is worried for her friend.
The second group heads into the kitchen to prepare their dishes. Casey says that, after tasting the first set of dishes, she's nervous because the food was really good. Her biggest concern is making sure her pork belly isn't overcooked, since that's what got her eliminated the first time, and she wants to prove that she can cook this dish. Jen has no worries about her food. None! She thinks she might win! Which is a complete turnaround from how she was during her season, when she was doubt-plagued and negative. Let's see how that works out for her.
Jamie is freaking out over her dish. She says that she's never prepared fish that way. She's never pan-seared a fish? I mean, I'm no chef, but I've done that tons of times. In fact, it's my go-to method of preparing fish because it's pretty foolproof, especially if you have a thermometer handy. Anyway, she still hates her dish and she doesn't want to go home first, but Casey assures her that it tastes good. Mike also hates his dish. He's sprung a leek. Sorry. I had to say it.
The second group joins the judges at the dining table. Elia say that it's weird to sit with the judges after listening in on the tasting. The judges obviously knew that they were being observed, but if you had any doubts, Gail immediately asks how they felt listening in on the feedback. Fabio immediately confronts Bourdain on what he said and everyone feels really awkward, but from what we see, Bourdain doesn't respond. If you read his blog on the Bravo site, Bourdain admits that he was a little drunk when he made those comments, and may have been a little harsh, but he stands by his assertion that the dish had problems. Also, Fabio needs to learn to take criticism if he wants to stay on this show.
Back in the kitchen, everyone is plating and garnishing and they all manage to finish on time. Then they discover the television, but no one except Antonia seems all that surprised. Jamie even says, "Told ya!" So some of them definitely knew they were being watched. Anyway, the first dish up is Antonia's sausage with cilantro, pigeon pea puree, and roasted cherry blossoms. Blais and Tre both loved it, but Tiffany is perplexed, because she felt it was incomplete somehow, though she's not very specific.
Spike's pickled mushrooms, scallops, lime dressing with hearts of palm salad is up . Bourdain says it was good, but it didn't need the scallops. Tiffani tells him that was the point, and Bourdain remembers the frozen scallop debacle, and calls Spike "the craftiest motherfucker who's ever been on this show." I still don't get what was so crafty about playing down the scallops when that's what got him eliminated, or how what he did was so different from what others did, but maybe I'll figure it out eventually.
Jamie served up pan-seared black bass, celery, green peppercorn and herb salad. She made it her own, according to Colicchio. Blais calls it excellent. Jamie is very relieved.
Tre thinks that Mike's melted leeks, carrot puree, and salt-crusted potatoes was a good revamp. Dude, did he make salt potatoes? I live in Syracuse, the capitol of salt potatoes. And if you've never had them, you really must. They're just small white potatoes cooked in really salty water, and then served in a pool of melted butter. I never knew they were a regional dish until I moved to Michigan, and people were like, "Salt potatoes? Never heard of them. Here, have a paczki." There was a recipe in Cook's Illustrated a few months ago (and the recipe is seriously "cook potatoes in salty water" -- you don't even peel or cut them) so I wonder if they're experiencing a moment. Go 'Cuse! Anyway, Tiffany says that the leeks melted in her mouth, and Blais thought it had finesse and elegance, as well as being visually stunning. Does anyone feel like some of the cheftestants are auditioning to be guest judges in the future? BLAIS.
Dale L. made curry poached lobster dumplings, chanterelle, corn, and bacon. Dale T. says that he couldn't get past the pasty dumpling, and Stephen agrees.
Carla served grilled strip steak, smashed potatoes, tarragon butter and red wine sauce. I would like that it my mouth right now. Tiffani compliments the flavors, but Angelo has to reveal that he got a bad piece of meat on his first bite, which kind of ruined it for him.
Gail is really happy to see that Casey's molasses-glazed pork belly, pickled peaches, and whipped crème fraiche is much-improved. And that's all anyone says about Casey.
Marcel made uni and caviar, Meyer lemon gelee, fennel cream and kalamata olive dust. It looks like a bowl of alien eyeballs. Tre says tasting it was like sucking on a vanilla bean, and Fabio thinks that Marcel has balls to put that dish out. Because it looks so weird? Or has strong flavors? No one really explains that statement. Marcel pretends like he's psyched that they thought it was ballsy, because he's super fake and annoying.
Jen made duck, squash, foie gras, apple cider vinaigrette, micro arugula. The duck isn't "there" according to Bourdain. And Tiffani adds that she was expecting to be blown away by Jen's food, but she wasn't, due to a few technical errors. Which were? These criticisms are really vague and unhelpful.
Padma excuses the cheftestants and they all pack up and go home. Later, they all file into the Stew Room. Casey and Jamie discuss how uncomfortable they felt judging the food. Fabio tries to justify his use of paper to Angelo, saying something about how the oil might spill and make the plate dirty, so the paper looks nicer. But couldn't he, you know, wipe the plate before service? Angelo looks pretty dubious too. The paper was just dumb and served no purpose, but if the food was better, I'm sure the judges would have overlooked the paper.
Blais says he hates the waiting and the anxiety, as others discuss how he went over time. Tiffany doesn't think he did it on purpose, and I notice that no one is discussing it with him. According to the blogs and the extra footage on Bravo's site, one of the other cheftestants ratted him out to the judges. Who was it? It had to be someone in his group, so that narrows it down to Angelo, Dale T., Tiffany, Tiffani, Tre, Stephen, Fabio, and Elia. It wasn't Angelo because he had to ask in the Stew Room what happened. Although given Angelo's trickery last season, maybe he was playing dumb. I doubt it was anyone from Blais's season so that eliminates Dale T. Stephen was so busy as time was running out that I doubt he noticed. I don't think Fabio would give a shit, and after Elia's run-in with being a tattletale in her season, I doubt she would do it. So that leaves Tiffany, Tiffani, or Tre. Tiffany also seemed to not know what happened in the stew room, and she says in an interview that she didn't think Blais did it on purpose. Tiffani and Tre both expressed annoyance that Blais didn't finish on time on camera, so maybe one of them? Who knows?
Padma comes in and asks to see Spike, Jamie, Blais, and Angelo. They head in to stand before the judges. Colicchio tells Blais right away that they called Blais out because they wanted to acknowledge that he made a great dish, but he went over time. Blais is confused, but Colicchio says that he saw the footage, and it's clear. The result is that Blais can't win. He also can't be eliminated, since he has immunity, and his dish was pretty awesome by all counts. Blais walks back into the Stew Room and explains what happened, saying that he's still pretty pissed. They show shots of Tre looking kind of relieved and/or happy, and Tiffani looking smug, so I still don't know who did it, but I feel like the editors are trying to tell us without telling us. Definitely one of those two.
Back at Judges' Table, Padma congratulates Jamie, Angelo, and Spike as the top three. Gail says that Jamie's fish was great, with crispy skin, and the celery was tasty. Colicchio asks her if she'll serve that dish now, and she answers honestly, "Absolutely not." Oh, how they laugh about that. Colicchio remembers that Angelo really fell in love with the idea of watermelon tea when he made his dish the first time around, and he learned that it overpowered the dish and eliminated it, which is a tough thing to do. It's like the writing edict to kill your babies; even if you have a great line, if it doesn't service the piece, you have to get rid of it, and it is really difficult. Bourdain tells Spike that he was amazing and smart to deal with a crappy main ingredient as he did. So who's the winner? The person who made something close to the original, but made it new and fresh and delicious. That person is Angelo. He's beaming. He seems a littl
e more humble this time around. I don't like him yet, but I also don't hate him.Angelo comes back, tells everyone he won, and then sends back Fabio, Stephen, and Elia to find out which one of them will be leaving. They troop in and dutifully take their spots. They start with Stephen, who admits that he wasn't really around the first time his dish was created. Bourdain thinks the dumplings were monochromatic and the texture was off, and he asserts that Stephen has probably never had a soup dumpling. Colicchio adds that, in Stephen's second dish, the proportions were way off.
Elia talks about her dish, and what she thought was good about it: the flavors, the puree, and the jus. She doesn't mention the piece of fish, which was the main ingredient. Gail tells her that the fish was raw. Elia admits that she didn't put her knife into every piece of fish to make sure it was cooked through, and Tom tells her that on some pieces, it was actually the top that was raw. Wow. How did she miss that? She gives the excuse that the ti leaves were thicker than what she's used to, so it took longer in the steamer, but Gail tells her that she didn't have to steam it. From what I've read, Elia thought that they had to basically remake the dish with very small changes, while others reimagined the whole dish. Bourdain adds that Elia is obviously a talented chef, but she never got off the ground: she was so wrapped up in recreating the dish that she didn't let herself imagine how it could be improved.
Moving on to Fabio, he claims that when he originally made the dish, the judges told him that it was too light of a stew. Gail says that this dish he made for them tonight was overdressed and overdone. Bourdain chimes in and says that he doesn't know what Fabio was thinking, because his dish was wet and brown and horrible looking. Fabio sees his chance and says that he will take constructive criticism, but he won't be made fun of, and he thinks that's what Bourdain did during the meal. They argue over the paper, which is kind of missing the point, I think. As I said earlier, if the dish was great, Fabio would never be eliminated solely over presentation. Tom gets to the heart of it when he says that they weren't able to pick out individual flavors and nuances; it was muddy, which was the problem the first time around as well. Also, when did Fabio start wearing a thumb ring? I have concerns.
As they are excused, Elia takes a moment to plead with the judges, "Don't eliminate me. I have a lot more to do." Ooooooh. Sad. When they get back to the Stew Room, Fabio goes off and says that he might be a bad chef, but he won't be made fun of, because everyone has a bad day. Okay, then.
The judges deliberate. They can't figure out why Elia made the same exact dish as last time, and Gail thinks that she just shut down. In the Stew Room, Elia thinks she should have tasted several of the dishes, but it sounds like the concept was just off, even if she had executed well, which she didn't. They move on to discuss Fabio's food. Bourdain thinks he avoided making the decision between a gumbo and a pasta dish, and as a result, it wasn't a good version of either one. Tom also thought the dish had no nuance. It does look like a pile of noodles and junk on a plate. Back in the Stew Room, Fabio is going on and on about how he's successful so he doesn't care if they criticize. Yeah, he doesn't care so much that he won't shut up about it. The judges move on to discuss Stephen. Tom reminds them that the portions were off. Gail doesn't think Stephen understood the original dish, so he couldn't make changes, and Bourdain compares it unfavorably to his last colonoscopy. As in, he'd rather have a tube stuck up his bum than eat Stephen's food. Ouch.
The bottom three are called back out to face the music. Tom reminds them that this challenge was a chance at redemption, but they didn't make improvements. Fabio's sauce was clunky and too thick. Elia couldn't deal with the thicker ti leaves. Stephen's dish was out of balance. Tom assures them that they are all talented chefs, but one has to go home. And that one will be Elia, despite her earlier plea. In her exit interview, Elia says that she's really upset, because she was sure that she was going to make it really far. She thinks it's almost not worth it that she came. Her fellow cheftestants applaud her, but she's really sad and upset. Damn. Once they get rid of Stephen week (I'm assuming), I don't know who will go . This is really anyone's game. Love it.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then read up on who's who among the All-Stars and check out our interview with Colicchio and Bourdain!
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