By Kim
Quickfire Challenge. Create a breakfast amuse-bouche, a small mouthful instead of a big Denny's platter or something. A number of the chefs have a problem with the one-bite concept of the amuse-bouche. The bottom dwellers include Daniel, whose cornflake-crusted stuffed zucchini flower is deemed too sweet and Fabio, whose brioche and espresso cream shot is not savory enough for guest judge Rocco DiSpirito. The top three are Stefan, who creates a huevos rancheros inside a whole egg shell, Leah, who makes a perfect one-bite meal of layered grilled bed, bacon, quail egg, and fried sage, and Jamie, who makes a BLT breakfast sandwich that's a little bigger than one bite. Rocco really liked both Jamie and Leah, but he goes with Leah as the winner. She wins a copy of Rocco's new book. Yay?
Elimination Challenge. The cheftestants must create a dish for a two-and-a-half minute live television presentation. They will do their presentations for the judges in the kitchen, and will be judged on that as well as the quality of their dish. Rocco cautions them to pick something simple so that the home chef can follow along and so that they eliminate the possibility of mistakes. Gale, Padma, Tom, and Rocco stand around and bug the cheftestants while they try to demonstrate, and a bunch of them run out of time. Jamie makes a duck egg salad, and doesn't have time to fully cook the egg, which is bad times. Alex makes a poor choice in creating crème brulee, which takes way too long to cook. Melissa's shrimp is way too spicy, and Colicchio even spits it out. Some did well though. Fabio charms the pants off the judges, Jeff's confidence and easy manner wins them over, and Ariane's Jersey beefsteak tomato salad with watermelon and feta cheese is seen as a real winner. After announcing the top three and bottom three, Padma tells them they'll have Judges' Table the day.
Tom wakes up the top three super early in the morning and informs them that their dishes will be on the Today Show that morning. The chefs themselves don't get to go on the show, but the hosts will taste the food. I guess the Today Show producers didn't want the rank amateurs on the show. Or more likely, they didn't want to let spoilers out back in July or August or whenever this aired. Kathy Lee Gifford, the old drama queen, spits out Jeff's crazy Middle Eastern cabbage roll. The hosts huddle up and choose Ariane as the winner.
At Judges' Table, Ariane gets a set of cooking tools hand picked by Rocco, and she also gets to present a dish live on Today the morning after the episode airs. The bottom three, Melissa, Jamie, and Alex get called in. Melissa is told that her spicy shrimp dish was too spicy, to the point where no one could even take more than one bite. Jamie knows that her egg wasn't cooked well, and she gets chided for not rolling with it by flipping the egg, and also for withdrawing and looking angry while the judges ate her food. Alex explains that he wanted to be different in choosing a dessert, but he knows now it was the wrong choice because it took too long to prep. Melissa intimates to the judges (without flat out saying it) that Alex doesn't want to be there, since he's talked in the house about how he's getting married soon and is more concerned about that than the competition. Ultimately, the judges tell Alex to pack his knives and go.
Morning in the Cheftestant Apartment. Jeff works out on the balcony. I wonder if he packed free weights in his suitcase. That is one thing that I would never in a million years think to pack. Anyway, Ariane interviews that it's a new day and she just wants to keep her streak going, since she kind of redeemed herself in the last Challenge. Alex is sad that Richard left, because they were roommates. Richard left a letter, and Alex reads it to Jamie and Carla: "It may sound crappy to say this, but you've got a friend out of this competition. That being said, here's the crappy part. Fuck the rest of them." They're all in tears, so I guess the rest of the letter must have been pretty sad, because that one snippet sure wasn't. Alex adds that he misses his family and friends and feels homesick, but he wants to continue competing. Jamie interviews that she's fine being the last remaining member of Team Rainbow, and she even has a rainbow bracelet. Never forget!
The cheftestants arrive at the kitchen for the Quickfire Challenge. They find Rocco DiSpirito waiting there with Padma. Fabio explains for the five people in the audience that don't know about him that Rocco is a famous American chef who cooks Italian food. I was pretty down on Rocco after his disastrous reality show, but then he was on Dancing with the Stars this season and either he got a better PR agent who told him how to act or he has actually cleaned up his act, because he was kind of charming. I'm not totally won over, but I don't hate him as I once did. Padma introduces Rocco and then says, "It's time for brefffffast." That's how she pronounces breakfast. I think she and Rocco got into the mimosas before taping started. Jamie is immediately freaked out, and explains in an interview that she doesn't like breakfast and never eats it. I never eat breakfast because I'm not hungry first thing in the morning, but I do love breakfast foods. Apparently, Jamie does not agree with me on that one. The challenge is to "create a breakfast amuse-bouche." Stefan explains that an amuse-bouche is a one-bite dish meant to showcase a chef's talents. Rocco advises everyone to use bacon, because he really loves it. Wow, I never would have guessed that, porky.
They get thirty minutes, so as soon as Padma calls time, they all go racing around the kitchen. Stefan has a crazy device that allows you to cut a perfect round off the top of an eggshell instead of just cracking it in half willy-nilly. Jeff is overwhelmed because he has a ton of breakfast ideas and he knows that he probably won't have another opportunity to cook them. Daniel reminisces about his childhood breakfast: cornflakes and zucchini flowers. Yum? I don't get that, but as mentioned in recaps, I'm kind of a hick and I'm the biggest mutt ever so I grew up eating the most bland white trash food of all time. Lots of cream of whatever soups and fried foods. So it's taken me a while to refine my palate, and I'm still working on it. Thus, no zucchini flowers. Ariane is making a dish she makes for her kids that combines French toast and bacon. Fabio doesn't eat eggs and bacon for breakfast, and instead wants something sweet with some fruit and a cappuccino. Leah is focused on making the perfect bite, with perfect flavors. Jeff tries to skewer some fruit but his hands are shaking and the fruit goes flying off. Melissa breaks the yolk on her egg by accident and has to go running for another. Padma warns that they only have three minutes so everyone rushes and then time is called.
Melissa is up first. She explains that her favorite thing is an egg in a nest, so she made a tiny stack of French toast, over-easy eggs, strawberries, and bacon. Stefan claims he's from LA, but that accent kind of gives him away as totally not being from anywhere in America. Anyway, his Southern California influences are showing in his huevos rancheros. He combined eggs, salsa, and cheese and baked it right in the eggshell. Radhika likes a hearty breakfast, so she made potato cakes with a mini-omelet on top.
Daniel did a cornflake-crusted zucchini flower stuffed with shitake mushroom, egg, and potato hash. As Tim Gunn would say, "That's a lot of look." That seems like a lot of ingredients for a tiny bite-sized dish. Rocco thinks that the flavors aren't well balanced. Ariane made a stuffed fresh toast with chili-maple syrup. Jamie also likes savory breakfasts (when she likes breakfast at all, which is never, but it's not like she's going to tell the judges that) so she made a bacon, lettuce, and tomato breakfast sandwich with balsamic vinegar. Rocco likes the layered flavors. Leah interviews that she was annoyed that some people (by which she means Jamie) made dishes that were more than one bite (Jamie!), and she hopes her attention to the instructions will boost her. Leah's dish is a smaller breakfast sandwich; she grilled her bread in bacon fat and topped it with bacon, spicy tomato salsa, and a quail egg. Padma comments that it's the perfect size and Leah kind of twists the knife about how she tried to follow instructions. Jamie!
Fabio made brioche with a brulee banana and espresso cream. He explains his philosophy that he didn't want his meal to be too heavy, but Padma complains that the espresso cream was a little too rich. Jeff made a tiny twice-baked potato with butter and bacon along with a yogurt sorbet and fruit skewers. That's way more than one bite! The potato also requires a knife and a fork, and Jeff interviews that he realized it was too much.
Rocco and Padma announce who fell short in the challenge first. Rocco says that Daniel's corn flakes were a little overpowering and that's all he tasted. He adds that Fabio's breakfast was too much like dessert. Fabio interviews that he should have done "a piece of toast, some bacon, and some bullshit eggs on it and [he'd] probably [be] one of the top three." Ooh, bitter, party of one. Rocco says that his favorite dishes were Stefan's, mostly because of the container. He thought Leah combined great flavors in the perfect bite. Jamie's was assembled and executed well. So Rocco has to pick one, but he says first that if he could pick two, it would be Jamie and Leah. But his pick is Leah, and she wins a copy of Rocco's new book! Thanks? You know that Leah is especially psyched because she won because she created a great dish, but also because she followed the rules. Padma notes that this is Leah's second win in a row, and Leah interviews that it's nice, but she really just wants to cook good food and not embarrass herself. Jamie interviews that it's frustrating being so close to winning and then...not winning. Oh, Leah also gets immunity, which they kind of failed to mention in all the non-excitement over Rocco's book.
Elimination Challenge. Padma explains that it's important to raise your profile as a chef so that people will seek out your restaurants, buy your books, and enjoy your food. The challenge is to create a dish and then do a two-and-a-half minute presentation as if they're on live television. Carla interviews that the timing is really important for live television, because they will just cut you off if you don't finish. It would have been really funny if the editors cut off her interview early to demonstrate, but this show isn't big on that type of humor. Padma adds that they'll be doing their presentations with/for the judges, but there is a big advantage to winning that will be revealed later. Leah interviews that live television is something she finds difficult and doesn't want to do. She might not want to go into being a famous chef then. Rocco and Padma remind them to set up their dish well because they will be judged on presentation and flavor. Fabio is freaking out because he feels like he doesn't have the English skills to explain his cooking during the presentation.
The cheftestants head to Whole Foods, where they have $100 and thirty minutes. Fabio goes straight to the seafood counter and asks for tuna. He's not happy with the fishmongers so he asks if he can hop behind the counter and cut it himself. And they let him! I'm sure the TV cameras helped -- I don't think they would let just any old person behind the counter. Hosea asks Eugene if they're doing the same dish, and Eugene says that he's doing sushi. Eugene interviews that sushi is his background and he's going to make something for beginners. Eugene and Hosea both ask to cut their own seafood as well, and they are allowed. Hosea explains that this is a competition so he wants to start with the best ingredients.
Alex is planning a dessert, because he wants to go outside the box. Didn't Fabio show everyone in the Quickfire why that's a bad idea? Also, Alex is planning a crème brulee, which doesn't seem like a dessert that lends itself well to a short presentation, but what do I know? Nothing, that's what. Alex interviews that he thinks making dessert when everyone else is doing an entrée will give him a free pass to the round. Oh, Alex. So naïve.
Back in the kitchen, the cheftestants have one hour for prep. They get to work chopping and cooking. Melissa interviews that she was thinking about what to actually do in the presentation, like should she cook or just assemble? She's concerned about the time limitations. Jeff is making a shrimp malfouf roll, which he claims sounds complicated but is actually quite easy. I think the problem here is that easy for a trained professional chef is very different from easy for your average home cook. Alex knows that he needs to get his crème brulee mixture in the oven so he has enough time to cook it and then cool it. Fabio interviews that he doesn't think Alex can pull this off in an hour. Jamie decides to make a dish she has actually done on live television, which is a salad with a duck egg, but she's worried about her ability to get the egg cooked in the time limit. Jamie is not very confident about her dish and her ability to do the presentation, but she'll try.
Radhika wants to bring out her personality and style of cooking. She must not want to do that very badly, because that's practically the last we see of her in this episode. Carla is making a tortilla soup, and she doesn't want to be on the bottom, as if any of the cheftestants start out with that goal. She is freaking me out with her bug eyes. She seems very kind hearted, if a little weird, but she bugs her eyes out and she looks like Eliza Jane Wilder. Ariane is making a tomato and watermelon salad with feta cheese. It sounds terrible, but I'm not a huge fan of either watermelon or feta, so I guess it wouldn't. I've never heard of that combination of ingredients, but clearly she has and it's worked. Daniel is making marinated strip steak, and he wants to be like Bobby Flay. That explains so much. I can't freaking stand Bobby Flay, so that explains my antipathy towards Daniel thus far. Anyway, Daniel has big dreams about eventually appearing in movies, and he thinks that he lights up in front of the camera. Someone has really been boosting Daniel's self-esteem. Also, if he wants to be a TV personality, he really needs to work on that facial hair. Time runs down as the cheftestants prep their ingredients for the presentations.
Gail, Padma, Tom, and Rocco walk in to begin the presentations. The cheftestants are very nervous, understandably. Ariane is up first. She introduces herself as from New Jersey, explaining that's why she's using Jersey tomatoes. She makes basil oil, slices tomatoes, and then serves the judges. She finishes with fourteen seconds to spare. Jamie is up with her salad with duck egg and caviar. Wow, those are not exactly ingredients that every person has in the pantry or even easy access to in the grocery store. Jamie checks her fried duck egg and notices that the white around the yolk is not quite set, so she has to decide whether to put it on the plate as is or go over time. She decides to put it on the plate. Colicchio the diva refuses to eat it. Okay, I guess not wanting food poisoning doesn't make one a diva, but Rocco shoves it right in his piehole, so there!
Alex thinks he is a good public speaker, so he's not worried about his presentation. He shows off his technique, and tries to answer questions from Padma at the same time. He runs out of time before he can finish, but the judges taste his crème brulee anyway, and he can tell by their faces that it wasn't set, so he knows he's in trouble. Jeff steps up to create his malfouf roll, which is kind of like a cabbage roll. Jeff interviews that he's done live television as well as demonstrations before, so he's not too nervous. Jeff finishes in time. Fabio says he watched the other chefs and noticed many of them using weird ingredients that only chefs would know (Jeff!), so he decided to keep his mother in mind, and what she would want from a demonstration. He makes tuna, roasted carrots, and asparagus salad. The judges are all charmed because Fabio says he's "fresh out of the boat." Daniel generates a lot of smoke while searing his steak, and when he finishes he gives a "Bababooey!" to the camera. Does he realize that he's not actually on live television? Also, that he sounds like an idiot? I'm a Stern fan, but if he were on the Today Show or Good Morning America and did that, they'd be pissed.
Rapid fire presentations are up . Stefan made minestrone soup and finishes on time. Hosea makes a crispy ahi tuna roll with wasabi crust. Eugene makes tuna sashimi and pea shoot salad. Melissa makes blackened habanero shrimp, and when the judges taste it, they think it's too spicy, and Colicchio the Diva has to spit it out. Carla runs out of time, as does Radhika, as does Leah. Leah confesses that she doesn't ever want to do live television and Tom chuckles that she may have to, if she wants to be a well-known chef.
Now that everyone has presented, the judges discuss the dishes and the presentations. Padma brings up Jamie's uncooked egg, which grossed them all out. Tom says that Leah was unable to even talk, due to lack of confidence, and they agree that it's good that she has immunity. Tom can't believe that Alex tried to make crème brulee. Rocco didn't like Carla's nervous energy, and felt uncomfortable. Gail liked Daniel's personality and energy, but Tom was pissed that he smoked out the studio and mugged for the camera. They all liked Stefan's food and presentation, but he showed no personality. Melissa's food was too spicy, and Rocco thinks the show's host wouldn't invite her back after burning his or her mouth on that shrimp. Colicchio was impressed that Jeff managed to pull all his ingredients together, and Rocco liked his confidence. Rocco and Gail loved Fabio's personality. Padma and Tom both thought Ariane's presentation was perfect. The judges agree on a solution, and Padma heads to the Stew Room to tell them. The bottom three is Melissa, Alex, and Jamie, and the top three is Jeff, Fabio, and Ariane. Padma pretends like they're not doing Judges' Table because it's so late, and meanwhile after the Foo Fighters concert, they did Judges' Table in the middle of the night. So you know something's up.
Back at the apartment, Jamie interviews that she was so upset about being in the bottom three that she just got in bed and cried herself to sleep. Meanwhile, Alex is loudly holding court in the living room about how he's glad that he didn't pussy out and create a salad. Ariane, who did make a salad, is sitting right there. She interviews that some of the chefs think that she took the easy way out, but she thinks that she was smart about what dish to make given the constraints of the competition. Leah thinks that Alex kind of wants to go home, because he's getting married in twenty days. Alex agrees that his marriage is more important to his life than this competition. Leah later advises Melissa to defend herself and fight for her spot in the competition, since she really wants it and Alex doesn't. Melissa interviews that her reputation is on the line, so she does need to fight.
Colicchio sneaks into the cheftestants' apartment at 2:00 AM. He pokes his head into the bedrooms and tells Ariane, Jeff, and Fabio to get up. They are understandably confused and grouchy. Once they all arrive in the common area, Colicchio tells them that, as the top three, the hosts of the Today Show will be eating their dishes and deciding on the ultimate winner. Ariane is thrilled, because she watches the show. Colicchio explains that they'll head over to 30 Rock, cook their food, and then watch as the hosts sample and judge their food live on air. So they won't get to do a demonstration, which could have been hilariously bad, but also would have given away who was still in the competition to a certain extent.
The top three head into the restaurant door to the studios and start prepping. Jeff interviews that he's serving a Middle Eastern roll to "a bunch of ladies with unsophisticated palates" first thing in the morning. Except this was supposed to be a demonstration of a dish that people might want to make at home, so drop the condescending attitude, Snobby Flay. He's on my list. Ariane, on the other hand, says that she wants to show these young kids that she knows how to cook. The whole "she's a cougar" storyline sounds like something that was cooked up by producers and I'm a little embarrassed that she's going along with it so heartily. Bianca, the food stylist for the Today Show, arrives to tell them to put their food on the cart, which will be taken up to the studio. They all finish and load up their food.
Back at the apartment, Hosea notices that the top three are missing. He walks into the living room and there's a big TV there so that they can all watch...something. They don't know yet what they'll be watching.
Meanwhile, the top three are led into a green room so that they can watch their food be tasted by the hosts. Jeff and Fabio can't believe that there are so many people in the streets outside the studio, and Ariane says it's always like that. Have the men seriously never watched the show? I get why Fabio might not, but Jeff? He's probably one of those dudes who keeps his television on a cart in the closet and rolls it out once a month to watch something on PBS. That is a true anecdote from a former co-worker.
On screen, Meredith Vieira welcomes Tom Colicchio, who is there to present the three dishes. In the chef's apartment, Radhika says that she's excited for the top three. The hosts eat the tomato watermelon salad first. Meredith explains that she doesn't like watermelon, but she tries it out anyway. The second dish is Fabio's seared tuna and the hosts all talk over each other so Fabio can't understand what they're talking about. The final dish is Jeff's malfouf roll. Everyone looks a little puzzled and then Kathie Lee Gifford runs over to the sink and spits out the food. Oh, damn. I know Kathie Lee's schtick is that she'll say or do anything on air, but that was just rude. The cheftestants back in the apartment are shocked. The hosts all huddle up and talk over which dish that they want to vote for as the winner. They decide on Ariane's dish, even though it might not be super original, but they think it tasted good. Meredith comes backstage and gives Ariane a hug. Ariane interviews that between the compliments on her turkey and now winning this competition, she's back in the game.
Judges' Table. The top three file in, although I'm not quite sure why, since we already know who won. Oh, Rocco has a special gift. Is it a DVD box set of The Restaurant? No, Rocco has picked out some cooking tools for her, and she will also get to present a dish, live on Today, the day after this episode airs. Ariane interviews that with a restaurant so close to New York City, this is a huge opportunity for her.
Then the bottom three file in for judgment. Padma asks Melissa how it went. Melissa says that the shrimp was too spicy for some of them, but she thought it was good both alone and with the other ingredients. Rocco doubts that she did eat it, because it just wouldn't be possible. Padma drama queens that the whole left side of her mouth was throbbing. Gail mentions the relevant point; that home cooks probably shouldn't be working with such a volatile ingredient. Jamie gets her turn and says that she got frazzled by the time constraints, and couldn't cook her egg. Rocco says that a host would start questioning her ability to cook, and Colicchio advises her that she should have flipped it over just to make it cook in the little time she had. I think Colicchio likes Jamie. He's always sticking up for her and offering her an out. Jamie then says that she knows she made mistakes and promises to learn from them. Rocco says that Jamie seemed angry at the end of the segment, and Jamie says that she was mad at herself for messing up. Perhaps she shouldn't have showed that so obviously during the segment.
It's time to pick on Alex. First of all, I don't know what is up with his pants, but they are like three inches too short, and then he has his hands in his pockets, which hikes them up a few more inches. Colicchio asks why he chose a crème brulee, and Alex says that the point of the competition is to push yourself. Colicchio corrects him that the point of the competition is to win, and Alex set himself up for failure by choosing a process that took more than an hour to complete. Alex knows that he should have thought things through and picked something easy. Gail confirms that a live television segment is not the time to try new and challenging dishes. Padma asks if there's anything else and Melissa launches into a speech about how she really wants to be there, not saying that there are others (Alex) that don't (Alex) but she does (Alex). Alex adds that he messed up once and he knows that he can cook. Colicchio points out that Jamie and Melissa can too, so Alex says that he knows he's better than he's shown them so far.
The judges deliberate. Rocco says that they all delivered inedible dishes. Colicchio thinks Jamie was close (he luvs her!), but Rocco thinks her performance was a disaster because she recoiled at the end. She was pouting! Rocco is also upset that Melissa wouldn't admit that her food was too hot even when pressed. Back in the Stew Room, Melissa tells Hosea, Leah, and Fabio that she emphasized that she wants to be there and others don't. Alex asks Jamie if Melissa is throwing him under the bus, and Jamie says that Melissa obviously wants to, but it's too late now for Alex to do anything about it.
Back at the judges' table, Gail says that Alex's dish was impossible to make in an hour. Tom adds that he had a good presentation, but a ridiculous attempt at an impossible dish in the time limits. Back in the Stew Room, Alex is kicking himself.
Mini-clip interstitial: Leah and Hosea are still flirting a lot. Carla thinks those two have a sexual chemistry. Hosea writes on Leah's leg. Are they in third grade?
The bottom three are called back in. Colicchio says that the challenge was straightforward. Melissa created a dish that was too spicy and inedible as a result. Alex chose the wrong dish to cook, didn't complete the task, and never actually delivered the dish. Jamie gave them raw egg and, once that happened, was very standoffish and didn't convey her personality. The end result is that Alex, his short pants, and his bright green socks, all need to pack their knives and go. Back in the Stew Room, Alex hugs everyone. He interviews that he took a risk and failed, but he's learned a lot in his time on the show and now he can go get married.
Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at reedkim@gmail.com.
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