By Kim
We open with the Quickfire Challenge, featuring guest judge Donatella Arpaia. To introduce it, Angelina D’Angelo wheels in one of her signature New York hotdog carts to compete against the cheftestants. They each have forty-five minutes to create their own signature hotdog, and the top chef wins immunity in the Elimination Challenge. Jill gets dinged because she’s the only one that doesn’t make her own hot dog/sausage. Stefan’s “World Dog” (French bread, Italian sausage, Vermont cheddar) served with German beer also gets low marks. On the high end, Radhika gets point for her Indian-themed dish (shocker!), Fabio earns praise for his Mediterranean dog and the judges like Hosea’s smoky bacon dog. The winner is Radhika.
The Elimination Challenge is also introduced right away. The cheftestants are going to open their own Top Chef restaurant, and they have to create a New American three-course lunch menu. They’ll each be responsible for one dish, and they’ll have an hour to prep before 50 New Yorkers show up for lunch. They divide up into three groups -- Appetizers, Entrees and Desserts -- and complete their shopping. Colicchio shows up to announce that they’ll be serving their food at Craft, his flagship restaurant, and they’ll be serving New York chefs who tried out for the show and didn’t make it. Damn.
Favorites:
Jamie: Chilled sweet corn soup with chili oil and mint
Carla: Rustic apple tart with ginger peach tea, apple cider reduction, and cheddar cheese
Winner is Fabio: Beef carpaccio with arugula salad, Parmesan and spherical olives, to which he applies a technique that makes them like eggs with a hard outside or a soft inside
Least Favorites:
Hosea: Chilled crab with citrus vanilla dressing, mango and avocado (Slimy, tasted like canned crab, which it was)
Jill: Ostrich egg quiche with rice-pecan crust, asparagus and aged cheese (Looked like dog food, tasted like glue, and she was unable to defend it)
Ariane: Lemon meringue martini with vanilla cookie crunch and cherry surprise (Padma spit it out in a napkin because it was too sweet)
Because she chose a unique ingredient but then used it in a boring way, Jill is told to pack her knives and go.
Various cheftestants are waking up on what I assume is the morning after the first Elimination Challenge. People are still unpacking clothes, and Stefan is doing what one of my co-workers swears he spends a good thirty minutes doing every morning: staring blankly into space and smoking a cigarette. Richard reminds us that one of the three members of "Team Rainbow" has fallen (Patrick), and he does a "Power to the People" gesture that I find endearing. Ariane and Carla seem to be forming a fast friendship. Ariane worries that she's older and less knowledgeable than the other cheftestants, and that might be her downfall. I don't know about the older, but the less knowledgeable part could be a problem. The editors try to rev up Stefan and Fabio's frenemy status by showing Stefan talking about how Fabio is his biggest competition and then Fabio says that it doesn't matter how many dragons you kill, what matters is who takes home the princess. So he doesn't care if Stefan won two out of two competitions already! Also, it's not surprising that an old Italian saying is fairly sexist, since most old American sayings are the same way, no? And I wonder who the princess is in this analogy. Padma? Gail? Colicchio? It's certainly fun to imagine. Everyone gathers their things and heads for the Top Chef kitchen.
We open with the Quickfire Challenge featuring guest judge Donatella Arpaia, who owns many restaurants in New York City. In case you've never heard of her, the editors throw in Hosea giving a testimonial to how impressive Ms. Donatella is in the culinary world. I try to listen to Padma's instructions but I'm totally distracted by her high-waisted stonewashed denim skirt. I seriously think I owned that skirt in 1992. I think I saw Jennifer Aniston wearing it on Season Two of Friends. Is that really back? Anyway, Padma talks about how the cheftestants will be creating one of New Yorkers' favorite foods. Melissa thinks it must be cheesecake. Angelina D'Angelo, the owner of a famous hot dog business, wheels in one of her signature carts to compete against the cheftestants. The cheftestants each have forty-five minutes to create their own signature hotdog, and the top chef wins immunity in the Elimination Challenge. Fabio says, "I love hot dog. Do I know how make hot dog? No." Sometimes broken English is just funny.
Hosea says that some people are panicking. Ariane says that she hasn't made a hot dog since charcuterie class in culinary school, and she hopes to just put two on a plate to serve and doesn't even care what they taste like. Do you think that might be part of her problem? If it's outside of her comfort zone, she doesn't even want to try that hard? Daniel (Weird Beard) says that he's familiar with the professionals' hot dogs, so he's going to make it his own way. Fabio says that you can't beat a New York hot dog, so he's going to make a Panini to make it different, while a lot of the other chefs are doing crazy sushi things. Stefan is also making a Panini dog, using ingredients from around the world. Jill doesn't think she can create a hot dog from scratch, so she's using prepared hot dogs. While she works, she keeps telling Radhika that she thinks the judges are going to ding her for it, and that they'll think she's weird. So why is she doing it? Especially when she seems to be the only one? Hosea has never stuffed sausages before, and he struggles. He knows that they'll taste good, but they don't look so great. Padma calls time and everyone backs away from his or her station.
Jill made summer roll hot dogs cooked in chili, soy sauce, and rice wine vinegar. I have to say, it looks fairly disgusting, but I think any regular old hot dog looks gross unless it's grilled with some blackened skin on the outside. My mom used to boil hot dogs and I got kind of grossed out by them after a while. I feel the same way about tomato soup, if you care. Padma and Donatella question her decision not to make her own hot dog, and Jill says that she was worried about time. Even though many of the other cheftestants had plenty of time to create their own sausage/wiener. Radhika did an Indian-inspired (surprise!) kabob-style sausage with caramelized onions, cucumbers, and tomato jam. I initially read that last part as toejam, and I was like, "EW! Gross! And why?" It's been a long day. Daniel made a pork hot dog with horseradish, mustard, fried onions, and garlic powder. So it's fairly traditional -- it's even in a standard hot dog bun. Eugene did a sushi-inspired maki roll hot dog with pita bread, Boursin cheese, and red onions. Hosea created a pork hot dog with roasted poblanos, jalapenos, smoked bacon, and red vinegar. A lot of people used vinegar, which is an ingredient I wouldn't associate with hot dogs or sausages normally. Stefan created the "World Dog," which is an Italian sausage on French bread with Wisconsin cheese and Irish tartar sauce. It doesn't sound so bad, but it looks like he took a loaf of bread and then laid one sausage down the length of it, so when he sliced it, there's only a tiny piece of sausage in each serving. The rest of the bread looks empty. He even serves it with German beer, so he's put a lot of thought into the theory of his food, but not so much into the presentation.
Carla made a lamb and pork sausage with sauerkraut and caramelized onions. It looks like a rustic version of a regular street hot dog to me, which is not bad. Ariane made a chicken sausage with bacon, celery seed, garlic, and white pepper. Donatella thinks the celery seed is a bit strong. Fabio made Andouille sausage with goat cheese, roasted bell peppers, and sun-dried tomatoes. Donatella can taste the Mediterranean influence. Jamie made pork and beef sausage with bacon, onions, and cayenne pepper. Padma dramatically stops chewing and says in a low, dramatic voice, "There was bone in mine." Which does suck -- you don't want to be chewing something soft and then suddenly taste bone, because you're going to think that one of your teeth fell out. But Padma is kind of a drama queen. Finally, the judges try the street vendor's hot dog with mustard, sauerkraut, and relish. It would have been kind of awesome if the street vendor had won. I also didn't realize on first viewing that they totally skipped some cheftestants, but there's only so much time in the episode, I guess.
Donatella announces that there were some disappointments. Jill used a store-bought hot dog, which doesn't seem to be her major sin. It's that she didn't do anything interesting with it. Keep that in mind -- it's not Jill's ingredients, but it's her lack of imagination and creativity. Donatella felt Stefan's hot dog was terrible, and Stefan interviews that he's "boiling" mad about it. But there were some good dishes also. Donatella liked Radhika's Indian-themed hot dog, because it was moist and flavorful. Her other favorite was Fabio, because she liked the flavors. She also liked Hosea's hot dog, especially considering the time constraints. But it's time to announce the winner, and it's Radhika! She interviews that this felt good, because she was in the bottom in the first Quickfire Challenge, and now she has immunity for the upcoming Elimination Challenge.
The Elimination Challenge is introduced right away. The cheftestants are going to work at a Top Chef restaurant, and they have to create a New American three-course lunch menu. Jamie explains that New American is very broad, but it's really about reinventing classic American flavors. They'll each be responsible for one dish, and they'll have an hour to prep before fifty New Yorkers show up for lunch. Richard points out that this is the first time they have all cooked together at the same time, and he's worried because New Yorkers will probably have higher restaurant standards than most other people. You can say it, Richard. New Yorkers are whiny and grouchy most of the time. They won't mind if you say it. They wear it like a badge of honor. There's a lot of chaos as the cheftestants try to divide up into three groups: Appetizers, Entrees, and Desserts. Finally, Jeff takes over and organizes everyone into their groups, and somehow everyone manages to get into the group they wanted, or at least no one complains too much.
The cheftestants head to Whole Foods, where they have thirty minutes and $2500 for the entire group to complete their shopping. Jeff complains that "all the soccer moms are there buying their groceries" and the cheftestants just took over the store. I really looked hard for soccer moms in the background, and didn't see any, so I think Jeff might have imagined that a little bit. I just get a snobbish vibe from him is all. Well, him and some of the other contestants, but right now, he's talking, so we'll go with that. Hosea wants to use crabmeat, but the seafood counter doesn't have any fresh, so he has to go with canned. Oh, bad idea. You know the judges will be able to tell. Fabio buys a giant piece of beef and says he'll cut it himself. Jill is fascinated by the ostrich eggs. She thinks they'll be original, and decides to use them in a quiche. EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NEVER COOKED WITH THEM BEFORE! This show is not the time to experiment with new ingredients, unless you have no choice, like when it's part of a challenge. What if ostrich eggs taste nothing like chicken eggs? What if they're bitter, or sweet, or something? It looks like she's talking to a Whole Foods employee, so maybe she got advice or something, but between this and the hot dog issue, Jill is not showing great judgment.
Eugene explains that they got back to the kitchen and everyone just went nuts with their prep and cooking. The appetizer group is Fabio, Hosea, Jamie, Melissa, and Leah. Jamie explains that they all get along well. The Entrée Group is Stefan, Alex, Eugene, Jeff, and Jill. Jill is pondering how best to open her giant ostrich egg. Fabio comes over to help, because Jill can't figure out how to crack the egg that she's going to use to make the dish that she hopes won't get her eliminated. I'm just saying. Anyway, Fabio uses a knife to punch a hole, and then cracks the egg open. Jamie interviews that "there's a difference between playing it safe and playing it ridiculous, and I think that's playing it ridiculous." I agree with Jamie. The dessert group is Carla, Ariane, Daniel, Richard, and Radhika. Ariane kind of whines that she's making a lemon meringue martini, and that she's not a baker, and she doesn't know how to do that stuff. And yet she chose to be in the dessert group, apparently. Interesting.
Colicchio shows up to announce that they'll be serving their food at Craft, his flagship restaurant. The cheftestants applaud that news. Colicchio also announces that they'll be serving New York chefs who tried out for the show and didn't make it. Damn. They might be a tough crowd. Carla interviews that these people will be jealous and critical, so there's no winning in this situation.
Back home that night, Fabio repeats his axiom about dragons and princesses to Stefan, who just rips on Fabio's accent. Fabio and Stefan talk more about their awesome bond. I'm starting to feel like there might be an episode where it comes down to these two and someone has to throw someone else under the bus. Either that, or they're going to get engaged. Eugene interviews that there are other great cooks in the competition, and he counts himself as one.
Then there's this weird clip in between the commercials that I'm not sure is part of the show, but it probably is, so I'm recapping it anyway. In it, Leah is flirting and cuddling with Hosea while they argue about eggs. I guess that's foreplay for chefs. Leah interviews that she likes to be in a relationship, because otherwise she's too crazy. Sounds like trouble. Fabio interviews that he noticed all the flirting, but he thinks it's nothing serious. So that happened.
The morning of the challenge, the cheftestants prepare to go to Craft. Carla interviews that it's tough, since they were just getting used to the Top Chef kitchen, and now they have to go learn a whole new kitchen. Eugene is also worried about that, as well as the probably angry customers.
When they arrive at the restaurant for prep, Hosea says that he's seen photos of the restaurant so he's psyched to actually be there. Fabio aspires to be like Colicchio, so it's an honor to cook in his restaurant. Ariane is still freaking out over her dessert. Jill explains that each group kind of staked out their own area. Jamie interviews that she started thinning her soup, because it thickened out a lot, and she's really confident in her dish. Fabio explains a technique he's doing that involves creating a chemical reaction with olives so that the outside is solid and the inside is liquid. All I can imagine is an olive-flavored Cadbury egg, but I'm sure it's more appetizing than that. Hosea tastes his canned crab and adds a bunch of seasoning to it, and admits that he's also feeling confident. Jill is worried about how long her quiche is going to take to cook. Carla gets her pies in the oven, but she's worried that her crust isn't flaky enough. Ariane makes everyone taste her lemon meringue martini, like her competition is going to tell her if her dish sucks. She needs to trust her own palate. Richard admits that he thought it was a little too sweet, but he wasn't going to tell Ariane that, since she's the competition. Other people do tell her that it's a little sweet, and Ariane thinks about making it again, but ultimately decides to serve it. Her judgment might rival Jill's, then.
The failed Top Chef contestants arrive to eat their meal, and they're already criticizing the menu before they eat one bite. Colicchio shows up and explains that he'll be expediting the dishes. Carla interviews how impressed she is with this experience. Colicchio walks around and gets the kitchen set up how he likes it and sets out his rules for the kitchen. Padma, Gail, and Donatella arrive and are seated, and the first orders come in.
Appetizer group obviously goes first. Jamie serves chilled sweet corn soup with chili oil and mint. A diner describes it as amazing, and Padma likes the mint. Hosea serves chilled crab with citrus-vanilla dressing, mango, and avocado, and he thinks it's a winner. Donatella thought it was slimy, and a diner thinks it tasted like canned crab, which it was. Leah serves Yukon potato, seared scallops with chives and green peppercorns in sort of a mini-tower. A diner thought it tasted sandy, and Padma thought the presentation was "very '80s." Fabio serves beef Carpaccio with arugula salad, Parmesan, and spherical Kalamata olives. The judges thought it was unique and beautiful. Melissa serves grilled avocado, white peaches, nectarines & balsamic vinaigrette. The judges thought it was very ordinary and didn't really stand out, and the diners thought there was no creativity.
The entrees are served . Jill serves an ostrich egg quiche with rice-pecan crust, asparagus & aged cheese. A diner comments that it resembles dog food, and Donatella says that it tastes like glue. Not a good sign. Eugene serves open meatloaf sandwich with ciabatta bread, Gouda fondue & portabella ragout. Gail didn't like the presentation, but no one says anything about the flavor. Stefan serves pan-seared halibut with micro greens, ravioli, champagne sauce & dill oil, and he thinks there's no way he can screw up the dish. The judges think that the presentation is great, and the diners call the dish light, rich, and flavorful. Jeff serves Southern chicken, honey mustard, and chorizo corn spoon bread. Jeff laments that he was falling behind in getting his dishes out on time, and we see Colicchio pestering him to get his dishes ready. Paired with last week's example of Jeff's poor time management, I feel like this might be a theme with him. The judges enjoy his dish, and the diners also have no complaints. Alex serves grilled pork tenderloin over potatoes with mushroom, tomato & red beet demi-glace. Donatella says it's not good at all, and a diner thinks it's something that she could have made at home.
The final group to present their dishes is the dessert group. Radhika serves citrus-avocado mousse with chocolate wontons & chocolate milk Kahlua shot. Donatella takes a bite and makes a face. Gail thinks the dish shows that Radhika has immunity, because she doesn't think it makes sense and wonders why someone would make "sweet guacamole." Daniel serves ricotta pound cake with toasted pistachios and strawberry lemon coulis. Donatella thought it fit the New American theme and a diner says that it was excellent. Ariane serves a lemon meringue martini with vanilla cookie crunch and cherry surprise. Basically, it's layered cookies, cherries, and then what looks like lemon pudding with a meringue on top. It honestly looks like something you'd find on the dessert menu at TGIFriday's, and while I'm not going to pretend I've never eaten there or ordered dessert there, I expect something a little more sophisticated on this show. Padma spoons it into her mouth and then flinches and spits it into her napkin, and Donatella comments on the "sugar shock." Richard serves a sandwich of banana nut bread, peanut butter and banana brulee with grape gelato and Donatella dismisses it as an after-school snack. Carla serves a rustic apple tart with ginger peach tea, apple cider reduction, and cheddar cheese. Donatella isn't impressed by the cheese and presentation, but Padma says that it tastes great.
After service is finished, Colicchio tastes all of the dishes, and the diners fill out comment cards. Most of the diners were not impressed by the food, and some go so far to say that they were angry at how bad the dishes were. Colicchio joins the other judges and says that service went fine, but some of the food was disappointing. They discuss how New American cuisine has evolved over the years, and it seems like the cheftestants didn't follow the evolution. They're also disappointed with the quality of this week's dishes after the food they saw last week.
Colicchio visits the cheftestants in the Stew Room and tells them that they did a great job setting up their stations and executing, but the food wasn't good, and they set New American cuisine back twenty years. Alex interviews that Colicchio took the challenge a little personally. He asks Jamie, Hosea, Ariane, Fabio, Carla, and Jill to come to the Judges' Table. It took me until this episode to realize that they've adopted the Project Runway style of elimination this season, where they invite both best and worst out together so that people don't know which group they fall into. I like it better; it creates more suspense. Padma reiterates that they weren't pleased with the quality of the food overall, but there were some bright spots. Tom thought Carla's pastry was excellent, even though the cheese could have been incorporated better. Padma says it was her favorite dessert. Padma calls on Fabio and he starts babbling about how he thought his ingredients were great and he doesn't understand what he could have done differently to get the judges to like his dish. Padma finally lets him off the hook and says that they liked the dish and everyone laughs. Gail says that the grilled lemon was awesome, and Donatella and Tom points out his spherical olives as unique. Jamie's corn puree was well-seasoned, and the texture was good. So Carla, Fabio, and Jamie were the favorites. Donatella announces that the winner is Fabio. Everyone applauds. Fabio interviews in Italian that he's psyched to win the competition and the top three go back to the Stew Room where everyone congratulates Fabio. Fabio is psyched that he's tied with Stefan for wins in Elimination Challenges.
Now the judges must confront the three losers. First up is Hosea, who says that he chose light and seasonal ingredients and he's actually surprised that he's in the losing group. Padma explains that the diners thought it was too sweet and not salty enough. Gail thought the crab tasted off, and Tom adds that the ingredients should have worked, but didn't. Ariane is up , and she says that she serves her dish at her restaurant, and maybe she was too safe. Padma asks if she tasted it, and Ariane says that she did, so Padma admits that she spit it out. That's all they have for Ariane, so they move on to Jill, who says that she gave herself an extra challenge by working with an ingredient she hadn't used before. Tom says that an ostrich egg could be special, but she didn't do anything interesting with it. Gail just thought it didn't taste good. Jill looks kind of flummoxed and can't really come up with a reason why she would do better time other than that she felt pressured by time. Except every competition has a time limit, so that won't really work out.
The losers head back to the Stew Room where Ariane immediately announces that she's going home. Well, she's a fountain of positivity, isn't she? They also discuss how the judges thought that most of the food was terrible. Richard clarifies that it wasn't bad food, but it didn't fit the theme. Hosea hugs Leah and says again that he really thought he was brought out to be in the winning group. At the Judges' Table, Gail says that she was unable to pinpoint what was wrong with his dish, but the tastes were conflicting. Tom doesn't think it was good enough to merit his confidence. The judges talk about how Ariane's dish was too sweet as in the Stew Room, Ariane tells everyone that she knew her dish was too sweet. Moving on to Jill's dish, Gail complains about how lame her defense was. If you even want to call it a defense. It was pretty lame. Donatella doesn't see a thought process or point of view in her cooking. Padma thinks the ostrich egg was chosen to make Jill stand out, and Tom says that she painted herself in a corner with that choice. They all agree that a decision has been made and call the losers back out for the verdict.
Colicchio starts by talking about New American cuisine again, and then says that New York is the toughest place in the world to make it as a chef. I think I'm going to be a little sick of that trope by the end of the season. Colicchio calls Hosea out for his complacency and says that won't fly in Manhattan. Colicchio says that Ariane's "so-so" cooking isn't going to be enough. He then tells Jill that using unique ingredients is only part of the challenge; she needs to figure out how to make her food stand out from the other talented competitors. Padma tells Jill to pack her knives and go. In her exit interview, Jill says that she feels it's a bit unfair that Ariane got to stay when Padma spit her dish out. I think Jill is underestimating Padma's ability to be a drama queen. Jill still doesn't get it though; she talks again about how awesome her ostrich egg was, and how the judges just didn't appreciate it. Back in the Stew Room, Ariane is sobbing and being all dramatic and I really hope she goes week because she's working my last nerve, and I could put up with it if I thought she also created good dishes, but she obviously doesn't. Jill wishes that she had used the opportunity to show off a dish that she felt really strongly about. Meanwhile, Ariane is still sobbing all over the place about how she doesn't deserve to stay and Carla is reassuring her. Bleh. Pull yourself together, woman. week, the cheftestants cook for the Foo Fighters, one of my favorite bands, in Rochester, my hometown. That almost makes up for having a new episode the night before Thanksgiving.
Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at reedkim@gmail.com.
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