So the show opens up with Sullivan driving down the street, probably on his way to work since he doesn't have his uniform on and he is driving his own car, and these old women keep driving up alongside him and smiling and winking at him so he stops the car -- in the middle of the street -- and goes around to the passenger side and sees a paper sign taped to the door that says, "OLDER WOMEN MAKE ME WET! -- Bosco" and Sully is all, "Son of a bitch!" and an older woman who is walking by sees the sign and looks him up and down, and Sully rips off the sign from his car. Um, I may not be an expert on body functions, but don't women get wet and men get hard?
Cut to Doherty playing pool at the station and telling a group of guys that he put the sign on Sullivan's car and put Bosco's name on it. Oh, man! How ingenious! I'll bet you Doherty is the kind of guy who puts those candles on birthday cakes that keep re-lighting after you blow them out.
Cut to Sullivan and Ty in their cop car talking about the sign. Ty says, "Maybe he's just trying to hook you up," and he is actually half-serious. All of a sudden Ty is concerned with Sullivan's sex life? So they get a call about a car-jacking in progress -- two victims in the car and another in the trunk. Now, that's a new one on me; I never thought a car jacker would take the time to put someone in the trunk of the car. So about two seconds after Ty and Sullivan get the description and license plate number of the car, they see that very car driving down the road, so they follow it, and we see a chase scene with the cars weaving through New York City traffic, and then the car jacker jumps out of the car and the car drives into a river. So Sullivan and Ty get out of their car, and Ty doesn't know whether he should chase the carjacker or jump into the water to save the people in the car. Um, Ty, I didn't go to the police academy, but even I know what to do.
And then the credits start, and I have to say that the music they play during the credits has a pretty catchy tune to it.
After the commercials end, the show comes back to Ty and Sullivan jumping into the water and swimming to the car, and the car is halfway under water at this point. The doors are locked, and it takes a while for the screaming mother and daughter in the car to clue in that maybe they should unlock the doors so that Ty and Sullivan can get them out. As Ty and Sullivan take the mother and daughter to the edge of the river, an ambulance arrives, and Sullivan doubles back to try to get the father out from the trunk. Doherty gets a crowbar and jumps into the river to help Sullivan, and together they finally get the father out of the trunk, but he isn't breathing, and during this entire sequence a Channel 4 News helicopter is flying overhead, and Sullivan and Doherty get the guy out of the water and start giving him CPR.
Cut to Bosco and Yokas getting in their car. Sullivan's card is sitting on the steering wheel with a note on the back of the card that says, "Enjoy the flour," and Bosco is saying that Sullivan is an idiot because he can't spell "flower" right, and as Bosco starts the car, flour blows out of the vents and all over him. Yokas looks at him and starts laughing. How is that spelled again, Bosco?
Cut to Doherty at the station, complaining that the TV crew didn't show enough of him on the news. Kim is complaining that the father of her child almost got himself drowned and Doherty is all, "You know what kept me alive?" and Kim goes, "Your thick head doesn't need much oxygen?" Oh, that hurts! So then Doherty shows Kim the Springsteen tickets he has and invites her to go with him. She says she'll think about it.
Cut to Doc and Carlos cleaning up the ambulance, and they find an expensive watch with "to my dearest, time passes, love is eternal" inscribed on it. They think it belongs to the guy from the trunk, who ended up dying, and they decide to go to the hospital to give the watch back to his wife.
Cut to Bosco, who somehow stole Sullivan and Ty's car, and he is parking it in an alley, just like in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery when Austin was running around at Virtucon and he tried to do a K-turn with that little electric car and he got it stuck in the hallway. So Bosco is all proud of himself, and that guy who did those Miller Lite commercials (you know, the big hairy bald guy who did the twist in front of the bottle because the cap said "twist off," and the guy with the Great Dane who retrieved a Miller Lite for him and then wanted the guy to dance with him) is watching and he points out, "You're blocking the alley. It's all blocked up now!" and of course Bosco ignores him and exclaims, "It's gonna take Sully an hour to get it unparked!" and Yokas is all, "It took you an hour to park it!" and Bosco says, "That's not the point." No, the point is that Bosco is a dumb-ass. Anyway, the Miller Lite guy is very worried that anyone who might need to go through the alley won't be able to get through, so he asks if he can tell people to go around instead, and Bosco is all, "Yeah, tell them." So the Miller Lite guy runs back to the car and watches to see if anyone wants to go through the alley, and Bosco asks Yokas why that guy is always hanging around, and Yokas tells him that the guy likes him. The Miller Lite guy must have a mental problem if he likes Bosco. So Bosco is all, "The guy's, like, a retard," and Yokas is all, "He IS retarded!" which I guess explains why he's taken such a shine to Bosco. And Yokas tells Bosco to be nice to him, and Bosco says, "What do you want me to do? Hold his drool cup?" What a humanitarian that Bosco is.