By Nicole
So this episode starts off with a shot panning up on two sets of feet wrapped around some sheets in a bed, with that "little something something" song by Babyface (I think) playing. And who could the cuddling feet belong to? Why, it's Doc and Morales! Get some, Doc! Get some! Doc thanks Morales, and she tells him he is welcome. What, did she just do him a favor or something? She needed to get laid just as much as he did. Maybe now she'll stop walking away every time she says something. Doc is caressing her arm and he notices a scar and asks how she got it. She tells him she was in a knife fight in high school because she got caught flirting with another girl's boyfriend. Yeah, I could tell Morales was a petite flower as a young girl. Morales then notices that Doc took off his wedding ring, and then Doc tells her that this was "the first time" since his wife died. Morales asks him if he misses his wife and he tells her he does. Then she thanks him for choosing her, which makes me think of Ralph Wiggum getting the Valentine card from Lisa Simpson with a train on it that says "I choo-choo-choose you!" And then they start going at it again.
The shot pans back down to their feet and then the shot goes white, and then it turns into a wall at the school where Maggie works. Ooohh, the cinematographer is getting all fancy with the shots now just for sweeps! Ty is walking down the hall with this silly little wool hat on that barely covers his head. Who knows, maybe the school didn't turn on their heat and it is chilly inside, or maybe Ty just likes to look funny when he's off-duty. So Ty goes to Maggie's office as she's walking out. She takes one look at Ty and says "Fool! What in the world are you doing inside my school with that dumb-ass hat on! Get that thing off before any of my kids see you!" No, not really, but you know that was what she was thinking. She tells him she was on her way to the gym and asks if he wants to walk with her. When they get to the gym, he asks her if he remembers Conrad Jones and she says she doesn't. Then Ty tells her that Conrad is known as Candyman. Really? Candyman isn't his real name? The man has been in two episodes and this never came up. I guess it took the writers a few weeks to come up with a decent name for him. Maggie remembers Candyman, and then Ty shows her the candy bag full of money and asks her if his dad was dirty. Well, he is now that he's buried under six feet of dirt! Maggie starts giving Ty non-answers and he grills her some more about his dad, and she finally tells him that his father wasn't a saint and that he did what he did because he loved his family. It's a good thing Maggie isn't a teacher, because I could just imagine how confused she would make her students if they ever asked her a question.
Matt is sitting on Bobby's kitchen floor smoking while Bobby tells him to go to the police. Matt acts like he didn't know what the other guys were going to do and he was just sitting in the car. Bobby starts giving Matt the third degree about what happened and Matt tells him he won't go to the police because he doesn't want to go back to jail. Bobby's voice gets all hoarse and he attempts to tell Matt that he can't help him anymore. Matt asks for five hundred or a thousand dollars so he can go to Florida; he has friends there who can help him.
Bosco and Yokas are in their car, and Bosco is complaining that he spent $350 for Knicks tickets and Ewing didn't play because he had the stomach flu. Then he compares Ewing not playing to going to a Springsteen concert and seeing Little Steven sing. Um, actually, when you pay to see a TEAM play, Bosco, you actually see the team. The Knicks have a few players besides Patrick Ewing if you hadn't noticed, and they can't postpone a game because of illness like Springsteen can postpone a concert. Then Albert Boscostein comes up with the idea that, for $20 million a year, Ewing should play sick, injured, or with colon cancer. Yeah, I would love to see a player running back and forth on the floor with a chemo IV just because I spent way too much money for a pair of tickets to see a freakin' game. You want to know why Ewing makes so much money playing a game? Because morons like Bosco will pay the outrageous amount of money for tickets for seats with a worse view than if he watched at home on MSG. So Yokas asks if he took Nicole, and he tells her he did, and that the whole time they were there Nicole was biting his neck and grabbing his crotch. I guess everyone sitting around them got their money's worth of a show even though Ewing didn't play. As they drive down a street Bosco notices the back door of a store propped open, so they stop to investigate. PC guy that he is, Bosco yells out, "Towel-heads propped their back door open again!" and starts acting all pissed off. They go inside the back office of the store and Bosco starts yelling to Mohammed about keeping the back door open, and as he is calling Mohammed a "clove cigarette smokin', Turkish coffee drinkin' moron," a guy walks through a door into the office and starts shooting at them with a shotgun, and another guy follows him in with an Uzi. Yokas and Bosco jump behind some desks and Yokas radios for help. That will teach Bosco to keep his crap mouth closed. Not.
Credits.
Wal Mart is the place to buy your wedding rings. No, really, that's what they said on the commercial. I'm not making it up.
Sully and Ty are driving to the shooting scene and Sully is giving Ty advice on what to do and not do. Ty looks worried. He wants his mommy!
A third bad guy walks into the back office with a gun to a woman's head, and as they are all going out a side door into the street-front section of the store, they shoot at Bosco and Yokas. Sully and Ty arrive at the front of the store, and the bad guys shoot though the windows and out towards Sully and Ty's car. Ty scrambles over the trunk of the car to get to the other side of it and shield himself from the bullets coming at him, and their car totally gets shot up. Candyman comes to the scene and starts shooting at the bad guys. The bad guys carjack a taxi to escape, and as they are getting in the cab, Bosco runs out and shoots the guy who has the hostage in the arm, and the guy lets go of the hostage. They get into the taxi and take off, while Sully, Bosco, and Candyman stand in the street and fire at them. A woman runs out of the store yelling that her father was shot, and Yokas calls for an ambulance.
Kim and Bobby are sitting in the back of their ambulance talking about Matt. Kim tells Bobby to turn Matt in, but he can't do it because Matt is his brother. Bobby is Matt's personal doormat; he just lets Matt walk all over him. They get a call about the shooting.
Sully, Candyman, Bosco, and Ty are running down the street and they find the taxi, which crashed into a big trash bin on the sidewalk. I'm sure it smelled lovely. ["Better than New York taxis usually smell, I bet." -- Sars] They find the driver unconscious, and Bosco cuffs him to the steering wheel. They ask some guys on the street where the other two went, and the guys direct them. Sully then gives Ty the driver's gun and tells him to stay by the taxi, and he and Candyman and Bosco run off. Ty looks very confused. He really wants his mommy now!
Bosco is flying down the street while Sully and Candyman are huffing and puffing about fifty yards behind him. Bosco finds a bloody handprint on a wall that looks just like the little handprints on the walls of the Blair Witch's house, and he sees a fence door that goes to the back of a bunch of rowhouses. He runs down the alley to the back yards, and Sully and Candyman follow. Sully radios in to tell everyone where they are going.
JC Penney is having a baby sale. I knew they sold a whole bunch of different stuff, but they sell babies too? I wonder how much they cost? Maybe that's where Rosie O'Donnell gets her kids, since no legitimate adoption agency should give that hypocrite a child.
Doc and Carlos get to the scene, and Yokas tells them that two people are inside and shot. The paramedics go inside, and a woman points to where her father is. They see a middle-aged man who has been shot in the stomach. There isn't much blood on the front of him, but when they turn him over they find a big exit wound and lots of not-needed blood. They check out his vitals and start working on him.
Ty is waiting around by the taxi, and Yokas runs over to him as Bobby and Kim arrive. Bobby and Kim go over to the guy cuffed to the steering wheel, and Bobby tells Kim there are "brains all over the dashboard." Isn't this, like, the third episode in a row when someone loses brain matter? It's getting old. Find another organ to fly out of someone's body, already. Other cops arrive and Yokas tells Ty that they have to find their partners, so they run off. As Kim and Bobby are pronouncing the taxi guy sans brain, they hear gun shots.
Yokas and Ty run down some alley to help find the bad guys. Bosco is jumping over a bunch of fences separating the back yards, and Candyman is following, but instead of jumping them he just busts through the fences. Candyman is so smooth -- I told you he needs his own background music. Sully is on the sidewalk looking to see if the bad guys are around the front of the houses. Candyman and Bosco see the bad guys through one of the fences and radio Sully that they are coming his way, so Sully runs down an alley.
Bosco and Candyman get to a back yard with a dog on the fire escape barking like there's no tomorrow, so they keep going. Now, I don't know whether the cinematographer was trying to be all artsy with this, or if they just got really bad shots and didn't have the time to reshoot, but they cut to Bosco jumping more fences and the picture is all grainy, and then they cut back to Candyman and the picture is clear, and then they cut to Bosco again and the picture is grainy. All I know is that it was annoying to watch.
Sully is in an alley and reloads his gun. He notices someone trying to climb the fence right by him and is all ready to shoot when he sees that it is Bosco. Too bad Sully didn't have an itchy trigger finger.
Bosco and Candyman go back to the yard with the dog, and now the dog is just going nuts, barking and whining and barking some more in the direction of an above-ground pool. Bosco radios Yokas to close in on the pool. As they get nearer, a bad guy peeks out from some garbage cans by the pool, and he's aiming at Ty when Candyman sees him and yells at Ty to get down. The bad guy turns around and shoots Candyman in the legs with his Uzi and runs with the other bad guy towards the house. Bosco starts shooting towards the bad guys, and one makes it into the house but the other gets hit by Bosco's bullets about five times in the back and chest. Bosco runs to the house and stays on the side of the doorway while Ty and Yokas pull Candyman to the side of the house; Yokas radios for help while Ty runs up to help Bosco. As Ty and Bosco wait for the bad guy in the house to do something, the bad guy on the ground in front of them starts asking for help. Ty asks Bosco if they should help him and Bosco tells him to "let the bastard die." Uh-oh, two moral dilemmas in two weeks for Ty! If only he had some law school classes to fall back on to help him with his moral decisions . . .
Kim and Bobby arrive to help Candyman, and they rip open his pantleg, and we see all sorts of unnecessary close-ups of the blood and gore of a shot-up leg. Bobby asks Bosco if the guy down by him needs help, and as the guy is gasping for help, Bosco lies to Bobby that the guy doesn't need any help because he is dead. Then Bosco whispers to Ty, "Screw him." What an honorable guy, that Bosco.
Okay, this is the stupidest commercial for a car I have ever seen. Some guy pretends to be having an affair instead of admitting that he was out all night driving his Lexus. Oh, okay -- your car is more important than your wife or your wife cares about your car more than you? Whichever way the makers of this commercial wanted it to be, it still sucks.
The SWAT team arrives! Woo hoo! Ty is looking at the shot-up bad guy, torn between letting him die and getting help for him. The SWAT team guys get to him and Bosco, and Bosco gives them the details on who is inside, and the SWAT team takes over and tells Ty and Bosco to leave. Bosco is all annoyed that he can't go into the house and go after the bad guy with the SWAT team, and mumbles that they "think they're the only ones with balls on the force." Well, Bosco, you did say that Nicole grabbed yours, so it doesn't look like you have any to use.
Kim and Bobby and Sully bring Candyman to the ambulance; Sully climbs into the ambulance to go to the hospital with them. Bobby stays at the scene with Yokas and they hear more shots fired, so they go back to the yard to see if they're needed. Bobby is called over to the bad guy on the ground because he still has a pulse and is breathing. Bosco has this big guilty look on his face and tells Bobby that he looked dead, and Yokas gives Bosco the stink-eye. The bad guy goes into arrest and Bobby tells everyone that the guy needs to go to the hospital and asks for help getting the guy onto a board. None of the cops moves to help him, and Bobby starts yelling for help, and Ty finally shifts his ass and helps get the guy on a board.
Kim and Sully bring Candyman to the ER, and Kim tells some doctors what happened. Doc and Carlos come over to Sully and ask about Candyman, and Sully asks about the people at the check-cashing store. So that's what kind of store it was. Sully goes to wash Candyman's blood off of his hands before he goes to call Candyman's wife.
Bosco and Yokas are walking back to their car, and Bosco is complaining about having to do a ton of paperwork about the shoot-out. It'll be more like generating a ton of spelling errors. They get back to the car, and it's fine. What would have really been funny is if Rick the retarded guy from the third episode found the car and drove off in it again. I miss Rick the retarded guy -- the writers should bring him back. Bosco notices that Yokas's arm is hurt and tells her she should get it checked.
They drive off, and it fades to night and fades back up on Kim driving the ambulance to Bobby's mother's house. Ooohhhh, what cinematography! So Kim drops off Bobby and drives off; Bobby's mom is standing on the front porch, and she tells Bobby that the police are looking for Matt. Bobby tells her what happened with Matt and she starts crying.
Ty arrives at the hospital and goes to Sully to ask about Candyman's condition. Sully tells him he's still in surgery, and Ty tells Sully that at the beginning of the shoot-out he froze and got scared, not like Bosco. Sully tells him that Bosco "is a madman, and stupid to boot." Amen, brother! He then goes on to tell Ty that some people think they are invincible until the moment they get shot, and then they have a stupid-ass look on their face like there has been a terrible mistake. That pretty much describes every look Bosco has on his face. Ty tells Sully that Candyman saved his life by yelling at him to get down, and then Candyman got shot. Sully tells him that the fact that Candyman is dirty doesn't mean he isn't a good cop. People on his beat like him, he has a family that loves him, and he coaches Little League. Apparently, Ty thinks the world revolves around him and his family, because he asks if Sully was talking about his dad. Sully says, "Son, were we talking about your father? Get with the program!" No, not really; he tells Ty he wasn't talking about his father, but if Ty wants to think that about his father, he can. Now it's Sully's turn to lose his voice, and it is really annoying because I'm yelling at the TV for Sully to clear his throat, but he keeps droning on with a raspy voice, lecturing Ty about how, when you put the uniform on, you are no longer black, white, or yellow, you are Blue, and Candyman helped him because he was wearing the uniform, and Ty can think whatever he wants about Candyman but the guy is a good cop. Then Sully walks off to get a Ricola.
Hey, don't give your kids milk, give them Sunny Delight! It now has more calcium than milk!
Bobby is now back in the ambulance with Kim. Consistency? No, thank you, I'm trying to cut down on my consistency intake. Bobby is on his cell phone trying to call his apartment, but no one is answering. Kim drops him off at his apartment building, turns off her taxi meter, charges Bobby $12.75, and asks if he needs a receipt. He runs inside his apartment and looks for his brother, but he isn't there.
Doc and Carlos bring in a "bum-cicle" to the ER and Morales tells some staff what room to wheel the frozen homeless man to. Morales asks Doc what time he gets off. Duh, Morales! Don't you know you're on Third Watch? Three to eleven! Doc says, "Baby, I get off when you give it to me again! Woo!" Actually, he tells her he gets off between eleven and eleven-thirty, and she tells him she gets off at midnight and suggests he pick her up. He agrees to that, so she tells him she'll see him then and walks off. There she goes again, having the last word and walking away. Carlos finally gets the hint, and he gets all pissed off at Doc and tells him that he was interested in Morales first. Doc is all, "What, now we're in the eighth grade and you called dibs?" and walks off. I guess he learned that move from Morales. Carlos follows him and is all, "Dibs? What the hell is dibs?" Doc asks him what year he was born, and Carlos tells him 1977, and Doc replies with, "You really are an infant!" No kidding. He even made me feel old when he said what year he was born.
Morales walks into an examining room where Yokas's arm is getting checked out. She tells Yokas and Bosco, who is standing to Yokas, that there was no glass in Yokas's wound and she will be okay with a few stitches. Yokas asks Morales about Candyman, and she tells them that Candyman will be okay, and that the shooter with the shoulder wound will make it and will stand trial, but the guy with the chest wound lost too much blood and died. Yokas gives Bosco the stink-eye again.
Bobby drives in his own car, not the ambulance/taxi, out to a park by the river and calls out for Matt. Voila! Matt appears and they talk about the park where they are and how it was a place they went to when they were kids if things got bad, blah blah blah reminiscingcakes. Bobby asks Matt if he is high, and Matt tells him he just wants to feel better. Bobby tells Matt to get in his car because he is going to the nearest ATM to get him money. Bobby's last name should be Matt. And his first name should be Door.
Sully walks into the precinct house, and someone tells him he has a visitor in the roll-call room. It's Maggie, and she asks about Ty and the shoot-out. They talk about Ty asking about his dad. Yadda yadda yadda, what should they tell Ty.
Bobby comes out of a grocery store and gets back into his car with five hundred dollars and gives it to Matt. He tells Matt that the 55th Precinct is right behind them and he wants Matt to turn himself in. Bobby tells him he will help him and support him, but if he doesn't turn himself in Matt will be dead to him and he will no longer have a brother. He makes Matt get out of the car, and then he drives away. Was that I spine I saw Bobby? Oh, nope, just a string on the back of his jacket. Like he really thinks that his high brother who is afraid to go back to jail would voluntarily turn himself in while he has a wad of cash in his hands? Okay, whatever.
Ty is now back in his street clothes and that silly little beanie on his head, and he goes to Candyman's hospital room and introduces himself to Mrs. Candyman. He tells her he took a donation for Candyman at the precinct, and he gives her the candy bag full of money and then leaves. Dummy. When she thanks the other policemen for donating money and no one admits to donating anything, everyone is going to wonder where you got that money. Silly rookie, I think that hat is on too tight and is constricting the blood flow to your brain!
Yokas is walking home and Bosco stops her and tries to explain why he let that guy die. He tells her he saved the taxpayers money and did everyone a favor by getting rid of him. Yokas reminds him that he let a man die when he could have saved him. As opposed to intentionally putting a man where you know he will be killed, which is so much more noble, right, Yokas? Bosco tells Yokas that the guy would have let them bleed to death if the roles were reversed, and she tells him they are supposed to be different, better than that guy, and she ends her preaching with, "Today, you and that animal were exactly alike." Yokas, party of one, your table is ready in the hypocrite section!
Bobby is at Kim's candle-lit apartment, and he's on the phone with the precinct. Kim comes over to the couch where Bobby is sitting with two beers. Bobby gets off the phone very upset because Matt didn't turn himself in. He starts crying, and in the most contrived scene in the history of this show, Kim starts kissing his cheeks and forehead and chin and then they start making out. Hello! Didn't she say she wasn't interested in him, that he was too much of a "nice guy" and that she didn't want to ruin their friendship? When did she have a change of heart? What made her realize that Bobby was the man for her? Was there a whole scene between the two of them that my VCR didn't record? Can the writers of this show come up with a more random scene for sweeps? I guess we'll find out week. Fade to black.