By Nicole
So it is finally here -- the last episode of the season. It couldn't have come sooner. Speaking of coming, the show starts off with Kim putting on her underwear while Jimmy is lying naked in her bed. She tells him that Joey will be up soon and she doesn't want Joey to see him. Jimmy pulls her onto the bed and they start getting it on, again, and then Jimmy suggests that they both call in sick and stay in bed for the rest of the day. I guess if he stays in Kim's bed and Joey doesn't come into her bedroom, he will never know that Jimmy spent the night. Kim asks Jimmy when Brooke gets off work, and then tells him that he should be home when Brooke gets home and calls him. Jimmy sort of has this "D'oh! That's right! I'm engaged to another woman!" look on his face, and then he tells Kim he loves her. What a romantic guy. Well, if you call fact that he has yet to be faithful to any woman at any time romantic.
Doc is packing up his stuff in his apartment, and Morales is helping him. They talk about keeping Doc's grandmother's old china and other assorted old stuff, and then Morales asks Doc what he is going to do about the wall of framed pictures of his dead wife. He tells her he isn't sure, and then she asks him how they met. He reminisces about Deborah for a bit, and then Morales tells him to pick out one or two pictures and they can find a place in the new apartment and put the rest in an album. Doc can't believe how understanding Morales is, and she tells him that the pictures can go anywhere but their bedroom. Morales is such a perfect girlfriend, it's almost like she is a Stepford Girlfriend. I wonder what kind of relationship secrets she is hiding.
Doc magically transports himself into the ambulance with Carlos, and they are talking about Doc living in his parents' home. Carlos tells him that if he repaints the walls the place will look totally new. Then he tells Doc about the time that he found a cheap apartment to live in which was cheap because there had been a murder there and no one wanted to live in it because it had bloodstains all over the place, and he just spackled and repainted the walls and steam-cleaned the carpets and it was as good as new. Doc kind of gives him a disgusted look, and then they get a call to a fire. Carlos totally looks like someone who would look at the obituaries and find out who died, and then try to get that person's apartment. Never mind how they died, as long as they left a place to stay in a decent neighborhood.
As we go back in time, Yokas is in her bathroom and is taking a pregnancy test. Well, I guess Fred sobered up enough to get it back up. It must have been those sassy leather pants that Skanky Nicole gave Yokas. The test comes out positive, and all Yokas has to say is, "Holy Mary Mother of God."
As we go back in time, Yokas is in her bathroom and is taking a pregnancy test. Well, I guess Fred sobered up enough to get it back up. It must have been those sassy leather pants that Skanky Nicole gave Yokas. The test comes out positive, and all Yokas has to say is, "Holy Mary Mother of God."
Credits, and I smile when I realize that it will be a long time before I have to see them again.
Wal Mart wants you to know that you can buy your teenage girls all sorts of cute summer outfits.
I guess Jimmy decided to come into work, because he and the rest of the NYFD arrive at the fire. A woman tells the fire chief that the fire is in apartment 18D and there is an invalid man living there. Doc and Carlos go up the eighteen flights of stairs and they find a maintenance man with only one arm standing by the stairway entrance. He tells them that he tried to put out the fire with an extinguisher, but the extinguisher ran out. Okay, honestly, how was a one-armed man able to use an extinguisher? And how "handy" can a one-armed handyman be? How much maintenance can be done with one hand? Maybe it was one of those low-maintenance buildings. So anyway, the low-maintenance man tells them that the man who lives in the burning apartment suffered a stroke and can't move, and his wife won't leave his side. Doc and Carlos go in to the apartment, and there is fire burning all over the living room, and they run to the bedroom and find the man in his bed and his wife standing to him holding his hand. Carlos tries to get the wife to leave, but she won't budge. Finally, Carlos and Doc pull her away from her husband and out of the apartment and give her to the low-maintenance man, and they tell him to get her out of the building. They go back into the bedroom to get the husband and they lift him out of his bed. They go back into the living room but now the fire has spread and they can't get to the door. They go back into the bedroom and close the door and put a towel under the door, and then Doc radios for help.
Bobby and Kim are wheeling a Hispanic woman down a few flights of stairs, and the woman is yelling in Spanish, and Bobby yells back at her in Spanish. Of course, the closed captioning says "speaking in Spanish" so I can't really tell what they are talking about, but I swear Bobby said something about hemorrhoids. Anyway, Kim is having a hard time getting the woman down the stairs, and she says, "Wow, this woman's had a few too many chalupas!" and Bobby is totally not amused at her statement and is all, "If she were black, you wouldn't say she's eaten too much fried chicken." No, Bosco would say that, or worse. Kim admits that she is a bad person, and then tells him about her and Jimmy. Bobby starts yelling at Kim about the whole deal, and the Hispanic woman starts yelling again. Bobby tells her in Spanish to be quiet, and then does his Spanish version of Dr. Evil's "Zip it!" After the Hispanic woman zips it, Kim starts talking about herself some more and is all, "I don't know what my problem is. I have no will power when it comes to him. I'm such a slut!" She then notices that Bobby is not telling her that she is not a slut. At least she now knows what we have all known for some time.
Jimmy and Company go climbing up the stairs, put their masks on, and go onto the eighteenth floor. They try to use their hose to put out the fire, but they lose water pressure, so Jimmy decides to be a hero again and climb up to the roof for a rope rescue.
Ty and Sully are in their car, and Ty is driving again. Ty gets some guy who is double-parked to move, and Sully thinks he has become an old pro. Ty then tells him that he has been a cop for one year today, and Sully tells him, "Time flies when you're having fun." It also flies if you are a writer for this show, since Ty's first day on the job was in September. Last time I looked at a calendar, Ty needed three more months to reach a year. Okay everyone, say it with me now: Consistency, please! So Sully tells him that he didn't think Ty would last so long. He then tells Ty about the pool that the gang had for how long he would stay, and Sully thought he would last four days. Yokas won the pool by guessing two weeks, and she won because that was the longest anyone guessed. Oh, those wacky cops and their betting pools!
Jimmy is on the roof, and he rappels down to Doc and Carlos. He ties the old man to a harness to lower him down. While Jimmy is getting the harness on him, he asks Carlos to tell his wife he loves her.
Bosco and Yokas are in their car, and Yokas is preoccupied. Bosco tries to talk to her about the opera, and how he enjoyed it and how Skanky Nicole got turned on by it, and Yokas starts yelling at him about how annoyed she is that everything he talks about turns to sex and she isn't in the mood for it today. But apparently she was in the mood for it at some point within the last month.
Meanwhile, back at the burning building, the old man is being lowered down on the harness to an apartment underneath them, and Carlos tells Jimmy that doing what they are doing is a hell of a way to make a living. Jimmy looks at him and smiles and says, "Don't tell the mayor, I'd do it for free." And I think he would have said something else, but there was a strange cut-off to commercial. The background music was still going strong and it looked like he was still talking, and then there was a quick fade and a commercial started about Purex. Looks like the editors got a case of the inconsistencies, too.
Doc and Carlos roll the old man out of the apartment building on a stretcher and put him in the ambulance. The man's wife follows them and gets into the back of the ambulance. Ty and Sully are holding back the crowd, and a guy in a blue sweatsuit is trying to get into the building. He tells Sully that he is a fireman, and Sully asks him what firehouse he belongs too. The guy doesn't say anything, and Sully tells him to leave, and then wonders why the mental hospital doesn't keep its doors locked.
Bosco and Yokas are going to a call, and Bosco is trying to get Yokas to tell him what's bugging her, but she doesn't want to talk about it. They knock on the apartment door as they hear loud music blaring in the apartment. A pregnant woman holding a small child answers the door and tells them to come in. She takes them to her living room, and tells them that she tried to get him to stop but he just gave her the finger. Who is "he"? "He" is a nine-year-old playing a video game with the volume up as high as it can get, and his mother is yelling at him to turn off the game while three other kids are running around and one kid is sleeping on the couch. Yokas gets pissed off that the mother called 911 to get them to tell her son to stop playing video games, so she rips the plug out of the television connected to the game and asks if the mother is happy now. The kids start to go nuts, screaming and running around, so Bosco and Yokas scram. I'm not going to comment on this. Yet.
Hey! There's Mantooth! Hey there, good dog! Where have you been all season? Well, there was Mantooth. They showed him for about three seconds sitting to Jimmy's fire truck. See you around, Mantooth. So Jimmy and Company are putting the firehose back into the truck outside the station, and Kim and Bobby arrive and Jimmy runs up to Kim. Kim tells him that he is engaged and that they shouldn't act on their feelings, and she asks him how she is going to be able to trust him again. He tells her he loves her and wants to be back in her life, and that he misses her, and Joey, and he misses being a family. Oh, yeah, that's going to make her be able to trust him. Didn't he love her and their family when he diddled her sister? Yeah, that's what I thought. Put your money where your mouth is, Jimmy. Oh, yeah, you used to do that, and then you lost your car and the savings accounts of your family over it. So Jimmy gets a call about another fire, and as he is leaving he asks Kim for another chance. Again, Kim stares into space real hard and ponders.
Bosco and Yokas are walking down the street, and Bosco is talking about how those kids are going to end up at their desks at the police station in a few years, and he couldn't believe that the woman had six kids and another one on the way. Yokas tells him that her worst nightmare after having her kids was that she was barefoot and pregnant, living in a trailer, with six kids hanging off her legs and holding a dirty baby as she is going through Wal Mart buying Hamburger Helper with her food stamps. Okay, first off, there are some mobile homes that are bigger than Yokas's apartment and they probably cost less to live in, so she could be better off in a trailer. Also, you cannot find trailers or Wal Marts in New York City, so if she wants to live her nightmare she needs to move out of the city, and if she does that then she won't have to deal with so much gang violence, which we know she has no tolerance for. She may just be happier living in a trailer and going to Wal Mart. There are many people around the country that are happy living that way. And, really, how many clean babies do you see, anyway? As soon as you clean them up they find a way to get some sort of grime all over them, be it food, snot, spit, et cetera. Babies are dirt magnets. And finally, I like Hamburger Helper. When you don't have time to make a big dinner, you can just heat up some ground meat, and in a half-hour you have a meal. I'm surprised that on Yokas's measly $30,000-a-year salary Fred doesn't prepare some sort of Helper on a daily basis. So Bosco responds to Yokas's nightmare by telling her that some women should be neutered, like when cats have too many they get snipped, and it seems to work well in China. You know who I'd like to see get snipped. Yokas tells him she is pregnant, and Bosco is all, "Congratulations!" Two-faced, much? It is wrong for strangers to have unplanned kids, but it is great if a friend gets knocked up accidentally? Whatever, Bosco. Yokas tells him she isn't happy, and that she is three weeks late and she doesn't know what she is going to do.
Jimmy and Company arrive at the fire, and the guy in the blue sweatsuit is there and tells Jimmy that the fire isn't safe and that he is a fireman. Jimmy tries to get the guy to leave, and the guy pulls out a gun and shoots Jimmy and two other firemen. Oooh, the high drama!
Ty and Sully are at a car accident, and of course we have the stereotypical man in a turban driving a taxi, and a yuppie with a cell phone in the luxury sedan arguing about whom cut in front of whom. Blah blah blah, Sully and Ty get a call about the shooting so they give both the men tickets and leave.
Bobby and Kim are at a deli, and Bobby is giving the deli guy their order. Bobby then tells Kim that a group of people from his neighborhood are going to the shore for Memorial Day weekend, and he invites her and Joey to come along. Before she can make an excuse to not go with Bobby and end up in bed with Jimmy again, they get a call about the shooting and they run out of the deli. They get to their ambulance and someone has double-parked and they can't get out. Bobby makes that noise he made last week when he was getting annoyed at Kim talking about Jimmy, like, "Aarrrgghh!" I wonder if he learned that technique to show frustration from an acting class. If he did, I suggest he demand his money back from the teacher.
Ty and Sully arrive at the fire/shooting scene and the chief gives them a description of the shooter. They run off, see the guy, and start chasing him. Bosco and Yokas drive up to them, and then turn around and follow them up to a parking garage. Didn't they learn last week that if you follow people into parking garages, bad things happen?
Doc and Carlos arrive at the fire/shooting scene, and Carlos starts to work on Jimmy, who has a big exit wound. He usually wounds people by exiting their lives, so it seems like life has come full circle, no? Doc is asking where their backup is.
Well, Doc, your backup is ramming into the two cars behind and in front of their ambulance. Kim finally pushes the cars enough to be able to drive out into the sidewalk, so Bobby jumps into the ambulance and they drive down the sidewalk until they get to the street. ["Good for her. What kind of dumbass double-parks to an EMS vehicle?" -- Sars]
Bosco and Yokas and Ty and Sully have their guns out and are walking around looking for the shooter, when a car tries to leave the lot. They stop the car and search it, but find nothing. In a shout-out to M.Clement, they debate on whether or not to wait for backup, and then they hear glass shattering and they run up another level.
As firemen are fighting the fire, Doc and Carlos and Bobby are working on the other shooting victims and Kim is working on Jimmy. Jimmy tells her they should have called in sick that day after all. Jimmy thinks that sex is the answer to all his problems. Unfortunately, he was probably right that time.
Bosco and Ty find the shooter trying to start a car, and when the guy sees them he runs up another level of the parking lot. The gang chases him up to the top, and when he is cornered, they all aim their guns at him and tell him to drop his gun. The guy starts crying and babbling about being a fireman, and Ty tries to talk to him. Ty doesn't do too well, because the guy shoots himself in the head. Didn't see that one coming. Oh, wait, it was freaking obvious that was going to happen. I'm surprised that no one went to the ER set and got some extra "brain matter" to put in the guy's hair after he shot himself, since they kept the camera on his bloody head for a while, and we all know how much they love to put brain matter in people's hair on this show.
Kim and Bobby get Jimmy out of their ambulance, and Morales meets them and checks Jimmy out. They put him on a bed, and Morales takes over and makes everyone leave the room. Kim looks in from the hall and looks concerned. Her facial expression is very similar to her "pondering." She should ask for her acting-lesson money back, too.
Sully and Ty are at their car outside of the ER, and Sully asks Ty if he is okay. Ty tells him he's fine, and then tells him that he went to Fordham that morning to ask for another deferment. They said no, but he could reapply later on. Ty then tells him he doesn't think he wants to be a lawyer. Man, what is Maggie going to say about this? I guess we won't know, since she doesn't appear in this episode.
Bosco and Yokas are in their car, and Bosco tells Yokas that he thinks the guy who shot himself did the taxpayers a favor, since he would have gotten fifty years of free room and board, and Yokas tells him that the guy was mentally ill. Since we all know how much Bosco loves the mentally ill, he asks Yokas what the guy was doing on the streets with a gun if he had problems, and then they give us the requisite lecture on the ills of society, this time about how society doesn't take care of the mentally ill. Bosco decides to change the subject by asking Yokas if she thought about what to do about her unwanted pregnancy, and she tells him she doesn't know if she is going to tell Fred. So I'm assuming that means she is going to get an abortion without Fred knowing, because if she decides just not to tell Fred about being pregnant, in a few months he is going to wonder why her belly is getting so large and why she hasn't had her period in a really long time. Bosco tells her she did fine with the first two kids and they weren't planned, and she will find a way to make it. He tells her to tell Fred, because it is his decision too. They get a call, so Bosco has to end his pregnancy counseling with Yokas.
Kim and Bobby are in the waiting room and Joey is sleeping across their laps. They talk about calling Brooke, and Jimmy's family, and some other small talk. Bobby tells her that he doesn't think she is a slut, because she keeps sleeping with the same man. Kim then mentions that she slept with a hockey player, a Dominican man who taught her how to salsa, and the UPS man. I really hope Joey is really asleep and not just stretched out with his eyes closed, because it would be really gross to hear your mother talk about men she slept with. Bobby tells her that the only man she keeps going back to is Jimmy, and he thinks she has true love for him. If true love means hot monkey sex and then regretting even knowing the guy a week later, yeah, that's true love. A nurse tells them that Jimmy is awake, and Kim goes to see him.
She goes to his bed and asks him how he is. He asks about Joey, and Davie, one of the other guys who got shot. Kim tells him that Joey is out in the waiting room and Davie is still in surgery. She then tells him that the man who shot them was a fireman who was fired the year before for erratic behavior, and he ended up shooting himself. They hold hands and have some small talk, and he kisses her hand and tells her that he missed her. Before Kim can say anything, Brooke rushes in and tells him she just got the message, and she is all worried and upset. In the ten seconds Brooke is on the screen, she out-acts Kim ten times over. Eva LaRue should never have left All My Children. Kim knows when she is the other woman, and she leaves, but she shares a look with Jimmy before she walks off.
Doc and Morales are in their new digs, a.k.a. Doc's Parents' Apartment, and Morales is looking at paint chips and talking about redecorating. Doc tells her he is still a little weirded out that they are sleeping where his parents made love. Ew. If you had to wonder about where your parents had sex, you would probably be weirded out by their shower and their kitchen table too. He tells her how he used to climb into his parents' bed when he had nightmares, and that he wants their kids to do the same thing, and that he thinks he could be a good father. Morales asks him where he has been all her life, and then they start to get it on. Can their relationship be any more perfect? This is going to get boring if they keep it up like this.
Sully meets Ty at the stairs to the train, and he asks Ty if he wants to go out for an anniversary drink. Ty tells him he needs to get home because he has an early rollerblading date. Sully gives Ty a Camelot pin that used to belong to his father. Maggie gave it to him when Ty Senior died, and Sully thought Ty would like it now that he is a cop. Ty thanks him and they part ways, and the screen fades to black.
Wow. What a boring season finale. What non-cliffhangers. Way to end the season with a whimper. I was thoroughly unimpressed, yet not surprised that it ended so lamely.
At this point, I would like to make an announcement. It is with absolutely no regret that I abdicate my Third Watch throne to the lovely and talented Omar G. As you all know, I did not particularly enjoy this show, but I worked my ass off to try to write a funny and interesting recap every week. Unfortunately, many people made it their personal mission to make it known to the world that I was a horrible person because I didn't think Bosco was the perfect policeman, or that Sully was a hunk, or that the show was the epitome of reality. I don't need that shit. Not only did it make writing the recaps harder, it made me despise going onto the forums to discuss the shows. I write for Mighty Big TV because I enjoy writing and like to rag on television shows. Many people made it not so enjoyable for me, and that is why I will be writing recaps for another show. I want to have fun again.
I would like to thanks Sars, Nicolas, 1962, JennaLynn, Jimmygirl and the wonderful M.Clement for their support over the last nine months. You made it worthwhile. I'm sure I'm missing other people who have supported me, but you know who you are, and I appreciate your emails or posts on the forums. Everyone else can get bent.