By Heathen
It had to happen, dammit. One stupid scene in the middle of theERhalf of the crossover felt so random and so stand-alone that I not only skipped it in the recap, but mocked its pointlessness, built a high horse out of paper clips and old pillows, and climbed upon it so I could sneer from a nice vantage point. So what happens? The show shoots my high horse and turns it into Alpo. That's right: my stupid scene showed up in the previously-on for this Third Watch, and now I get to feel stupid. But it happens, you know, this crankiness. Sometimes I get tired. Don't be angry, baby. It's not you, it's me. And the painkillers. The painkillers made me do it, okay? Hold me.
Anyway, recently on The Show That Isn't ER, a hot firefighter with dimples smiled at the camera, and I turned into a big puddle of love sweat. His name is Jimmy, and apparently he just reunited with his son, who appears to be eight or so. Susan Lewis got a scary message from her panicked niece Suzy, and hightailed it to New York, where she found her sister Chloe drugged out and without her daughter. Susan got scared. Bosco and his partner, Faith Yokas, were on the case. And the goddamn neighborhood-watch guy rode up on his bike and started telling Bosco that he takes Polaroids of people in seedy neighborhoods doing seedy things, in the hope that the cops will arrest them. Bosco dismissed this cyclist as readily as I did. Bosco and I are kindred. Oh, God, wait, that feels so wrong. I need mouthwash.
The New York Police Department rushes into a drug den while kicky electronica-style music heralds their work. Officer Maurice "Loose Cannon With the Heart of Gold" Boscorelli (Jason Wiles, of Kicking and Screaming and guest appearances as Colin on Beverly Hills, ) is leading the charge. Officer Faith "Streetwise, Tough Broad With a Heart of Gold" Yokas (Molly Price, known to Sex and the City fans as Susan-Sharon) is also there. There are stylized shots of junkies huddled around fires, tying tourniquets with their teeth, being apprehended by officers in the dark and dank warehouse. It's a really weird scene that's a bit funky to watch, with jumpy cuts and confusing shots and swelling music; I feel like I'm both drunk and hanging upside down from my bed. Which I guess I might be, as far as any of you know. Two by two, the crackheads load into the police van. I'm sure Noah would be very proud of the way the NYPD has adapted his ark concept to suit the dregs of society. The music slowly fades out as Bosco, looking grim, wipes the dirt off his hands and hops back into his patrol car. Yokas watches him appraisingly. "You all right over there?" she asks in that tough-mom fashion she pulls off so well. "Not yet," Bosco shakes his head, revving the engine. As the music kicks in again, the patrol car speeds away from the crack hole.
Dr. Susan "If John Edward Can Do It, Then So Can I" Lewis sits stiffly on her usual bench in the 55th Precinct. She'll miss that bench when she crosses back over to ER and has to stand around sobbing for a dead bald man with strange lips. Bosco and Yokas enter, prodding a passel of arrestees so that they'll march right on into the interrogation room, or wherever they put dirty, shifty extras who got paid decent money to shuffle around and let their pupils dilate. "Move faster, or I'll put my foot up your ass," growls Bosco. He manhandles a dude who'd dropped down to Susan, throwing him in the correct direction. Susan peers warily up at Bosco. He meets her eye. "What?" he asks, defensive. "Any sign of my niece?" she asks nervously, Suzy's stuffed toy sitting to her on the bench. Bosco shakes his head, allowing her a glimpse of his actual regret at this fact, and then leaves. Susan looks put-off. The credits pounce on this and roll with abandon.
A big lug of an officer named John "Oafish Protector With a Heart of Gold" Sullivan rolls awake to the sound of shattering porcelain. Grabbing his gun from the bedside table, he vows to teach that no-good stinking toilet a lesson. But when he inches out of the bedroom, a female voice calls out an apology. Sully enters the kitchen in shock and discovers the familiar face of Tatiana, his Ukranian bride, who'd fled his life when a crime lord from her country started getting all up in her shit. "I break a dish," she says pleasantly. "I want to surprise you. I was making eggs." Tatiana, for all you ER fans out there, reminds me of a slightly less edgy Randi. She's young and pretty. Sully gapes at her. "I miss you so much," she offers sweetly with a smile. Sully still can't think of anything to say. He looks as if he's searching his mind for the right words, or perhaps asking himself the universal question that so often plagues us all in times of confusion: What Would Cliff Huxtable Do?
Apparently, Cliff Huxtable would cut away to a new scene and throw on a Barenaked Ladies CD. Jimmy "Scorching Hot Hottie With A Heart of Gold" Whatever (Eddie Cibrian, of The Young and the Restless, Sunset Beach, and But I'm a Cheerleader ["and the boy band 3Deep" -- Wing Chun]) plays the song "If I Had a Million Dollars" while he activates the toaster. His son Joey roots around under the bed and finds treasure. I can't actually tell what it is -- it looks metallic and sharp, and I'm hoping it's not a knife because I don't want Jimmy to fail at fatherhood here, since he's going to be fathering a few of my children soon. When the Pop-Tarts bolt out of the toaster, as steaming hot as Jimmy himself, Joey drops whatever he picked up and wriggles out from under the bed so his father can toss him a tart. Ha ha. I said "tart." And I meant it. Cut to a cute scene in which father and son brush their teeth together and sing along, off-key, with the song. Then Joey helps Jimmy find his socks, and finally Jimmy stands and surverys the messy wreck that is his apartment. "Guess what we're doing tonight?" he grins. "Look at that -- we're cleaning this house." Joey cheerfully suggests getting a maid. "What, you think I've got a million dollars?" grins Jimmy. Aw. Cheesy, but cute. They leave together.
Bosco sadly hangs up the phone and looks up at Susan, who sits near his desk. Yokas appears and confirms that the New Jersey police department is going to take another crack at locating Joe -- who is both an NJPD officer and Chloe's missing husband, while also a possible clue to Suzy's whereabouts. Bosco nods grimly and bolts out of his chair to go beat the truth, the tar, and the toxic hallucinogens out of some drug addicts. Susan watches him go. "He's wound a little tight," she observes. Yokas sits in the seat Bosco just vacated and says good-naturedly, "Yeah, sometimes." She senses Susan's lack of faith in her partner, and decides to vouch for the goofball. "I got two kids, and if one of them ever goes missing, Bosco's the guy I want looking for them," she says sincerely. Susan absorbs this. Little Suzy's stuffed monkey is sitting between them on the desk, and I find myself more worried about who's giving it a good cuddle than about whether Suzy shows up again. I'm also the person who, after wading to the end of A.I., could think of nothing but who would look after the gravelly-voiced teddy bear who was left alone at the end. I am a pathetic woman.
"She's a good mother," Susan offers. Yokas glances up from her paperwork, surprised but not bothered. "She is," Susan avers. "Drug addiction is a disease. It's recognized as a disease by the American Psychiatric Association." Yokas twitches a trifle. She knows rationalization when she hears it, and it rankles her eyebrows -- look, there goes one of them now, shooting right up toward her hairline. "What about pedophilia? That's recognized as a disease," Yokas points out acerbically. "Want a child molester raising a kid?" Susan loathes the analogy, but Yokas defends it. "I'm not really interested in why somebody hurts a kid," she begins. "I don't care. All I want to do is stop it from happening." Susan claims that Chloe didn't hurt Suzy. Susan evidently didn't hear the terror in that girl's voice on her answering machine. "No," Yokas shoots back, "she lost her." Susan is taken aback, but can't deny it.
The lieutenant interrupts and calls Yokas away. "Anything yet?" he whispers. Yokas exposits that Bosco is "sweating the junkies" -- that's a fun potential euphemism -- in the hope that they'll spill information leading to Suzy's whereabouts; she restates that they're actively trying to find Joe. Yokas thinks the marriage is shaky, and hopes Suzy's disappearance stems from a custody squabble and not something more nefarious. The lieutenant asks how Susan's been holding up. "It's been a bad twenty-four hours," sighs Yokas. "Let's hope it doesn't get any worse," the lieutenant sighs. And a jinx fairy is born.
Bosco screams in the face of a sticky, long-haired junkie who we'll call Chris. As in Robinson. As in Kate Hudson's crusty husband. Bosco shakes Chris and yells that he isn't trying hard enough. "What do you want me to do, Bosco?" Chris whines shrilly. "Want me to make something up? If you want me to, I will -- just tell me what you want to hear!" Bosco frustratedy shouts that he's not looking for false testimony. Chris is jumpy and just wants to please his master and get the hell out of there in time for Happy Hour. "I need to find this girl, all right?" Bosco says levelly, rubbing his forehead as if to massage the impulsive rage away. Chris whimpers truthfully that he doesn't have any information about Suzy. The lieutenant enters to further serve his purely expository purpose; here, he morosely tells Bosco that a detective is on the phone for him. Bosco picks up the call, and slowly, disappointment spreads across his mug.
As Sully approaches the office, he sees Yokas on the steps outside. "Tatiana came back this morning," he shares. Yokas can't hide her surprise. "I wake up, she's making eggs like she never left," marvels Sully. Her story is that she fled Chevchenko -- the Russian villain -- and went to Ithaca, where her father's relatives live. Sully didn't know about them, so he couldn't find Tatiana; she only returned to suss out whether it's safe to bring her son back to NYC. Yokas clearly thinks that Tatiana's full of shit, but she bites her tongue, because Sully has a cute foreign wife and is therefore an object of jealousy for almost every man alive. Why deprive him of that? It's just cruel. Yokas says she's most startled that Tatiana mentioned Chevchenko at all. "Only in passing," Sully admits. "There's a lot of stuff I haven't been able to ask her yet. She just got back this morning." Yokas carefully lies that she's really happy for Sully. Obviously, though, she's troubled for him.
Jimmy sings his way into the firehouse. I love a man with a song in his heart. His co-workers razz him for the cheery mood and the singing. "Can't I be in a good mood?" Jimmy smirks, then admits he's on cloud nine because of his blossoming relationship with Joey. "It was tough at first, but now it's...really good. Yeah, really good," Jimmy grins adorably before taking great pains to swig a Diet Coke. Oh, wow, that seals it. He's perfect: he shares my nectar of choice. The guys just gape at him, and then rib him again for singing off-key. Jimmy responds by warbling even worse.
Bosco skulks toward Susan and Yokas. Susan's Bad News Antenna shoots right up, and she lifts her head to meet Bosco's eye. "I just got a call," he chokes uncomfortably. "There's a girl they want you to identify." He looks away. "She's at the morgue," he finishes. Susan reacts by not reacting. Sherry Stringfield reacts by not acting. She just stares at him without anything going on in her eyes. Yokas lowers her head ruefully as Susan blinks hard and tips her head back, exhaling tensely. We fade to commercial with a lovely view of her neck.
Firehouse. Jimmy is playing gin rummy with the guys, and when the group is polled for a volunteer to rustle up some grub, Jimmy gleefully offers himself, claiming he wants the practice. "Joey's getting tired of my specialties," he explains. "How long does it take to get tired of toast?" teases one of the guys. Jimmy uses this as a springboard for Mr. Mom 101: Getting Day-Old Cheddar Off Your Skillet. He blathers that dishwashing liquids brag that they can cut grease, but they can't chip caked cheese off a pan. His friends look at him like he's just sprouted Mr. Clean on his left shoulder and Betty Crocker on his right, and they're engaging in a wild three-way orgy. Jimmy even starts talking about his struggles with certain persistent stains. Then, he wins the gin game. I want to sit on his lap. Everyone continues staring at him, confused. "What?" he asks. "Grease-cutting detergent?" one guy parrots.
Jimmy is saved by the bell: an occupied apartment building is on fire and the guys need to slide down a large metal pole for a while. And they do. Oh, my, they do. They load up the trucks and screech out to the emergency site.
At the morgue, Susan is pacing while Bosco and Yokas wait silently. The county medical examiner, Tony, introduces himself to Susan and kindly explains to her the procedure for identifying a body. He goes back into the morgue and she stays put; when she's ready, she taps on the glass window in front of her, and he yanks back the curtain to reveal the cadaver and see if we've got Bingo. Susan digests all of this as if in a fog, drifting toward the window. Bosco and Yokas flank her, the former darting sidelong worried glances at Susan that reek of the kind of metallic caring only a true heart of gold can muster. "You just take your time and you do this when you're ready," Yokas soothes her. "Would you ever be?" whispers Susan. Yokas turns away. "No," she admits throatily. Susan stares at the glass very intently, then grabs Yokas's arm for support. Bosco catches all this with his stunning peripheral vision, and appears to be a tad envious. You go, Bosco. Let crime be your dating game. Susan finally lets out an anguished sigh and lunges forward, tapping the glass. On cue, the curtains rip apart, and Susan yelps, covering her face and turning away, shaking. She's nauseated, and covers her mouth, her entire body shuddering alarmingly. This continues for a few beats. "No," Susan finally shouts. "No, it's not her!" She's smiling and crying. Bosco asks if she's positive, and she is; Yokas smiles, "You're all right?" Susan beams through her tears, and Bosco privately appears relieved on Susan's behalf.
The fire truck pulls up to the apartment building, and as the men head for the doors, a deluge of broken glass rains down upon them. They drop and try to take cover. "What the hell?" one of them shouts. A woman starts screaming for aid in Spanish; the men peer up and see her leaning out one of the windows on the flaming floor. They scream for her to stay put, which is the last thing she apparently wants to do. Afraid she'll jump, they leave some men on the ground, while Jimmy and his two pals grab some rope and head up to the roof.
Yokas approaches Lieutenant Exposition. "I heard it wasn't her," he says. "It was another little girl," Yokas retorts sadly. The Expository Lieutenant explains that the parents of Hayley Carter just reported her missing after two days, claiming she was last seen not six blocks from where Suzy disappeared. Shaking his head, Bosco marvels that these kids are hanging out so close to a drug den. Duh, Bosco -- obviously they're not kids. They're a merry and covert band of midget dealers. Yokas points out that the kids don't exactly choose to gather there; more likely, they're stranded there while one parent -- or both -- gets high inside the shooting gallery. Amazed, Bosco swears he's never noticed a cluster of children there before. "Well, we always go in looking for skels and junkies," Yokas notes. Suddenly, something dawns on both of them. "Maybe we scooped up the wrong people," she realizes. They bolt, leaving Lt. Expo to watch over Susan. "She's getting pretty worn out," Yokas says quietly. "That ID was hard on her." Susan is sitting across the room, zoned out and pained. Lt. E. promises to tend to Susan so they can go fishing in the sandbox. Excited, Bosco and Yokas bolt.
At the fire, our señorita continues to scream for help. "Ayudame, alguien," she moans. Jimmy shouts down at her from the roof that they're above her, and they're getting ready to help. The woman screams again. "Give us a second," Jimmy begs. But his pal, who we now know is called D.K., worriedly points out that there's nothing to which they can tie the rope; no makeshift anchor. "Please hurry," yells the woman, suddenly speaking English. Jimmy furrows his brow. I'm not worried. He's probably just trying to decide among three different ways of saving the day.
Bosco is appalled at the grotesque neighborhood flanking the shooting gallery, saddened that any kids can play out here, what with the barren patches of land, chain fences, graffiti, and abandoned, junked cars. "[Kids will] play wherever you put them," Yokas replies. They find two tots wandering around, and Yokas asks Bosco to let her speak with them first. She never comes out and says that he's a scary and impatient freak, but she doesn't have to -- that's why they're good partners. He knows. Bosco pulls over so that the kids don't run away at the sight of the patrol car, and Yokas arms herself with a photo of Chloe before getting out and strolling to the sorry excuse for a playground.
The kids are cute. They're stuffed into tight, wooly toques, and they're largely content to amuse themselves in a wasteland. It's kind of sad, but I'm still thinking about that lost and lonely stuffed toy, so I'm too busy to emote here. Yokas genially greets them and manages to draw out their names -- Shannon and Darren. Calmly, Yokas takes out the photograph and begins to ask the two tots whether they've seen the girl pictured there. "That's Suzy," Shannon blurts immediately. Yokas is stunned. "That is Suzy," she says carefully. "Have you seen her?" Shannon says that Suzy left with "the policeman" yesterday. Yokas thanks them, then quite sweetly offers to buy them some food. The kids are well-reared enough to be wary, but Yokas wins them over with the badge. You know, this is interesting. It's exactly the way Suzy went missing -- she wandered off with a policeman -- and here is Yokas, rewarding the kids for helping her out by encouraging them to wander off with a cop. Ooookay. Yokas ups the ante, telling them she'll turn on the siren. Shannon says she'll go as long as Yokas promises to bring her back. "I love cheeseburgers," offers Darren. Good lad.
At the fire scene, the panicked potential victim throws one leg over the window ledge, pretty much primed to plummet. "Stay inside," Jimmy shouts. Turning to D.K., he outlines the plan: they'll tie the rope around D.K., who will brace himself against the parapet and rely on Billy to push down on his torso to anchor him to the ground. It's a really dicey plan, but for whatever reason, all the men agree to try it. I think it's because they're heroes.
Yokas helps the kids into the patrol car and maternally reminds them to strap on their seatbelts. I love that cop cars still provide safety belts in their back seats, so that felons will enjoy state-of-the-art safety. Although I guess not wearing a seatbelt is technically illegal, but whatever. I gave myself a good chuckle, which is evidently very easy. Yokas shuts the door and walks around to the front of the car. "They know anything?" he asks. She: They know everything. They said the policeman came here yesterday and took Suzy. He: Policeman? She: The sister's husband...He: Is a cop from Jersey City. She: Bingo. He: It's a domestic thing. The revelations pour from them, and they excitedly head for their car doors. "Looks like if we find the husband, we all get to go home," Bosco breathes. We fade to commercial on the realization that nothing will ever be as simple as Bosco wants it to be.
A portly man wanders into the police station. He has an open and friendly face. He is Joe. We know this because Susan shouts, "Joe?" He's startled to see Susan, who makes a beeline for him while firing tense and intense queries about Suzy's whereabouts. "Where's Chloe?" Joe asks, confused. "DO YOU KNOW WHERE SUZY IS?" Susan yells. Bosco intervenes and introduces himself, asking Joe when he last laid eyes on his stepdaughter. "Oh my God, what happened to Suzy?" Joe gasps, eyes wide. Bosco looks perplexed. This isn't how he expected Joe to react. Bosco is a few beats behind us. We pegged this at the commercial break.
The firemen rig D.K. with ropes and climbing hooks. Jimmy fixes him with a confident look. "You go, I go, brother," grins D.K. Jimmy leaps over the wall and gets ready to climb down a rope that's attached to a man who's probably lighter than he. D.K. is lying down perpendicular to the roof wall, his feet planted against it and swathed in rope. The other man pretty much plans to throw his entire weight against D.K.'s torso. This is the part where I would run. Far away.
Bosco has Joe in an interrogation room. Joe learns that Chloe's still in the hospital, and miserably blames himself for this tragic turn of events. Bosco paces. "When is the last time you saw your stepdaughter?" he asks. "A week ago," answers Joe, agitated. "I knew this was gonna happen." It all pours out of him: they settled in Phoenix and then St. Louis, and each time, Chloe hit the crazy juice again and they had to skip town. Joe's sick and tired of running away from various communities that have enabled Chloe's relapse, and wants to stay settled in Jersey City. Watching through a two-way mirror, Susan bites her lip, struggling with this dark insight into her sister. Yokas, as is her custom, stands by silently. "I met somebody a couple months ago, and she's nice," confesses Joe. "Your wife's in the way?" Bosco asks. Joe peers up at him with sad brown eyes. "My wife is a junkie," he says plainly. "I've had her in and out of treatment, she stays clean for a few months and then she disappears, and I'm out looking for her on street corners in the middle of the night." Joe reveals that Suzy is the only thing that's kept him in the marriage this long. Susan closes her eyes, pained. Bosco finally asks if Joe took Suzy. "I was in Atlantic City with my girlfriend," he says guiltily. "Chloe figured it out, and we had a fight. It's all my fault."
Yokas trots out Darren and Shannon, hoisting the boy up onto a chair so he can stare at Joe. "Is that the man Suzy went with?" she asks expectantly. But Darren, see, likes a complex plot. So he says, "No, it's not." Yokas didn't see that one coming, even though it arrived yesterday with four suitcases. Ominous music kicks in as Yokas turns to Shannon for confirmation. "That's not him," Shannon swears. "He rode a bicycle." Yokas is thoroughly confused about what bike cop might've been cruising the area. At this point, you might want to revisit my apology at the top of this recap. Susan seems scared that their best lead, Joe, turned out to be a big zero.
Jimmy slowly lowers himself down the building. "See you guys on the ground," he calls to his pals. He shimmies toward the screaming woman, ever more eager to take a header out the window. D.K. groans like he's constipated. And he's justified in doing so, as in a way, Jimmy is wrenching poor D.K.'s bowels right now.
Susan sits alone in the hallway outside the interrogation room. Yokas brings her coffee and listens sympathetically as Susan tortures herself about what she could've done to prevent this, and what signs of relapse she must have ignored. "I saw the signs before she and Joe moved to St. Louis, but I couldn't accept it," she says. I wish we'd seen evidence of this when she came back to ER. If she was that worried about Chloe, it might've been nice to establish that ages and ages ago, to increase the odds that viewers of either program would give more than a quarter-shit. "It was way too hard to imagine going through all that again," Susan continues, snorting bitterly. "Pretty pathetic, huh?" She tells Yokas how much she adored Chloe when they were young, and how kick-ass her older sister used to be. "What the hell happened to that sister?" Susan suddenly bleats. "Who do I see about getting her back?" Um, John Edward, your partner in Crossing Over? And, yuck. I can't really explain how forced Sherry's delivery was on those lines -- although, to be fair, those were lousy lines. Joe appears at that moment, finished with the interrogation; he says he'd do anything for Suzy and will stick around just in case something happens. Bosco and Yokas gracefully exit. Susan gazes at Joe, who glumly apologizes to Susan. She blinks and turns away. "Yeah," she says bitterly.
In The Rescue That Won't End, Jimmy is still lowering himself down the apartment building while the woman continues screaming in Spanish. The fire should, by now, have engulfed the entire city block; I thought fire waited for no man, but I guess it makes an exception for Jimmy. When he reaches the window, the woman leaps onto him and holds on for dear life, which unfortunately has the triple effect of throwing off Jimmy's balance, badly affecting the rope's sway, and putting poor D.K. in total agony. He's turning red from the strain. Jimmy coos comfortingly at the woman, and we cut back and forth between his excruciatingly slow descent and the fact that D.K. is inching toward his limit and being hurled off the roof to a very sticky death. The firefighters on the ground grab Jimmy as soon as they can, and there is much rejoicing. The woman coughs and whines. Jimmy looks up and salutes D.K. and the other guy, who then hug each other. Everybody wins.
Yokas confers with the lieutenant and confusedly points out that the bike cops don't have any posts near where the policeman supposedly picked up Suzy. Apparently, Shannon and Darren said the cop wore a shield on his hat and wonder what kind of cap it might've been. The lieutenant makes a note to check with the undercover units. But what kind of idiot undercover cop wears an NYPD baseball hat? So thanks for coming out, lieutentant, but maybe head on back to manning the phones, okay? Yokas points out that the kids were very specific with their language. They said the cop, not a cop, so it was clearly someone they've seen before and often. A lightbulb goes on above Bosco's head. Telling the lieutenant he needs time to act on a long-shot idea, he grabs Yokas and bolts.
"We talked to him, Faith," Bosco spits. They're outside and heading for the patrol car. Yokas has no clue what he's saying. "That goof on the bike. The neighborhood watch [guy]," Bosco announces. Yeah, I know that guy. He's the one who's circling around so he can nibble on my left ass cheek. Bosco is sickened that he actually exchanged words with this guy and sent him packing; Yokas tries to calm her partner by reminding him that this is just a whim and might not pay off. But he's too jazzed. They decide to walk the neighborhood watch man's territory and see if anyone knows where he lives.
Nobody seems to know of the guy, sadly, but because this is a happy made-for-TV world, a woman heard from her dry cleaner that two cops were seeking a guy in the neighborhood watch. She offers up his address and his name -- Gerald -- on a silver platter garnished with roasted garlic potatoes. "Bosco, let's take our time," Yokas cautions. "Like hell," Bosco grunts, hopping back into the car.
Bosco and Yokas pull up at a brick high-rise and importantly march right on inside a building. "If he hurt this girl already, I swear to God..." Bosco curses under his breath. Yokas -- the calmer one, of course -- raps nicely on Gerald's door. He claims he's not dressed and can't answer the knock, so she talks to him through the door, inventing the excuse that they're hoping he saw something on his watch that can help them with a case. Bosco creeps around out a window and onto the ledge outside Gerald's place; peering in, he sees the man fully clothed and shouting nervously at the closed door, wringing his hands. Swearing quietly, he creeps further along the ledge and sees a young girl curled up in a room decorated for children.
"It's been really, really quiet," Gerald is telling Yokas. Bosco chooses this as the prime time to dive through the window. He does so largely unscathed. It's impressive. His skin is actually a glass repellent. Bosco slams Gerald against a glass cabinet, then proceeds to throw punches everywhere. Gerald is not winning this one. Bosco screams insanely for Gerald to fight back, but Gerald's too busy watching his shit fly across the room as Bosco beats it out of him. Yokas grabs Gerald and restrains him. "It's enough," she says firmly. "I was only trying to help," coughs Gerald oddly.
Bosco kicks open a padlocked door while paging an ambulance -- a "bus on a rush" -- to the scene. He tries to wake Suzy, and she doesn't respond; after establishing that she is breathing, he scoops her up in his arms and carries her into the living room. Of course, Bosco would rather smack Gerald around again, but Yokas insists that he carry Suzy downstairs and wait for the ambulance. Gerald continues to blather that he was only trying to help. Not quite sure who benefited here, but okay. Yokas yanks Gerald to his feet and reads him his rights. "You have the right to remain silent, and unless you want me to leave you alone in the car with my partner, I would suggest you use it," she blasts him. Go Faith! She rocks. I love Molly Price. She's more watchable than half the ER cast.
Susan, perched on the bench in the precinct, hears the radio crackle. Yokas radios in that they caught Gerald and found Suzy; the lieutenant relays this to a relieved and still shell-shocked Susan. We fade to commercial wondering what Susan will do with herself now that she no longer has to wait anxiously on that bench.
Hospital. Susan charges inside and blows right past Yokas, which is incredibly thoughtful of her. "She's all right," Yokas calls after the whirlwind. Susan barely waves at her. Damn, that's rude. Yokas should take Suzy back.
Suzy is lying on a hospital bed being extubated. "Hey, baby," Chloe coos to her daughter. "You're going to be okay." Susan, standing in the doorway, wants to know why they tubed her. The doctor shares that Gerald had fed her a Xanax to knock her out, but the doctor did a tox screen and she's perfectly fine and healthy. Chloe spies Joe hovering in the doorway and strikes a defensive pose, hand on her hip and a scowl on her face. "What the hell are you doing here?" she spits. "Not taking drugs, that's for sure," Joe forgets to say. Instead, he waves to Suzy and coos at her, and the blonde cherub looks delighted to see him. Chloe taps her inner bitch and fires a barrage of angry insults at him, ordering him to leave. Joe, to his credit, ignores all this and never breaks eye contact with Suzy, constantly saying sweet things to her from across the room. Chloe needs to be spanked. Susan looks too embarrassed to do anything. "Get out of here!" Chloe screams. "GET OUT! We don't want you here." Joe obeys. The doctor excuses himself uncomfortably, and Susan follows him to ask privately if there were any signs of molestation on Suzy's body. "He never touched her," the doctor whispers comfortingly. Susan praises the heavens.
Susan creeps up to the bed and wins an ear-splitting grin from Chloe. "Hi pumpkin!" Susan coos. "I need to talk to mommy for a second." Suzy frowns. "You're leaving?" she frets. Chloe assures her they won't, and she and Susan exit, the latter glaring daggers through Chloe's back.
Chloe is all giggles and smiles, rejoicing at the safety of her daughter. She tenses when Susan's somber attitude cuts her first natural high in several days. "What?" Chloe beams. "This was not my fault, not this time." She seems more relieved at that fact than at the safety of her child. Sick. Susan starts lecturing her about going back into rehab, and that drug addiction is a disease that needs prompt treatment. Chloe obtusely argues that the drugs didn't do this -- a psychotic guy did. She seems to ignore the fact that her daughter wouldn't have been in the territory of a psycho if Chloe hadn't left her in front of a drug den. Details, details. "It was a slip," Chloe insists. "It's not going to happen again." Susan busts her by saying that Joe confessed about Chloe's slips. "Oh, so you're going to listen to that son of a bitch?" Chloe laughs resentfully. "He has a girlfriend -- did the bastard tell you that?" Susan levelly tells Chloe to check into a residential rehab program, and offers to take Suzy until the program is complete. "Oh my God, I am not sick!" screeches Chloe. "This was not my fault! I'm fine! We're both fine!" Chloe is so far in denial that she's actually speaking in hieroglyphics. And she's a wailing, screaming cow. I'm amazed Joe married her in the first place. Everyone in the vicinity turns to stare at Chloe. An older doctor and nurse shake their heads and tsk-tsk, as if to bemoan the tragic waste of life and Chloe's apparent eschewal of shampoo. Chloe maturely spits, "Mind your own business!" She then turns on Susan and angrily tells her sister to go home. "Hey, doctor," she sneers, her voice dripping with spite "Why don't you just go home?" I so want to slap her right now. And not in a good way, where the writers can at least be delighted they're getting some reaction out of the viewers. I just want to spit on her and steal her shoes.
Susan closes her eyes, agonized, while Chloe flounces back to Suzy's bedside. Yokas creeps up to Susan and supportively says, "She's a piece of work, huh?" Susan nods. "She's lucky to have you," notes Yokas. "They both are." She says what Chloe should have, but didn't. Susan finally thanks Yokas for finding Suzy. Yokas shrugs off the hero mantle. "It's our job," she smiles.
Bosco apparently hurt his hand one of the times he connected it harshly with Gerald's body. The sassy nurse tells him he'll need antibiotics and a tetanus shot. Bosco hates needles. Convenient, since he also hates druggies. Susan tentatively enters the exam room and thanks him with a smile for his role in apprehending Gerald. Bosco smiles back up at her and nods. "Do you always take your job so personally?" Susan wonders. Bosco tries to deny this. "It's okay, I do too," she admits. Bosco sighs and looks at Susan as though he's contemplating licking her. "Sometimes, when it's kids, I just can't help it," he says quietly. Susan looks at him with actual interest and a bit of tenderness. I guess now that he's done her a favor, he's worthy of the lovin'. Aw, no, I'm being hard on Susan. He was kind of a dick last week. I am actually more confused about when she went from being an annoying lunatic to being Bosco's hero, but okay. They'll probably never see each other again, so hey, bring on the longing, people. It doesn't have to make sense.
The nurse reenters. "Top or bottom?" she asks, wielding the tetanus shot. "Do I really need this thing?" Bosco groans. "Yeah, you do," Susan shoots back. "I'm a doctor, remember?" Somehow, this mundane banter is the thing that makes Bosco stare after her with a respectful and even horny smile. He is so very easy. The nurse interrupts with the needle. Bosco glares at her. "Top," he duhs.
D.K. and Jimmy tease each other about their great rescue, but thank each other as well. The guys invite Jimmy out for a beer to celebrate, but he contentedly says he needs to get home and hang out with his son.
Susan brings two coffees to Suzy's room and stops abruptly when she sees the empty bed. A nurse strips the sheets. Puzzled, Susan asks the desk clerk where Chloe and Suzy went. "The mother signed [her] out," the nurse replies. "She said to tell you goodbye." Wounded, Susan turns back and stares morosely at the empty bed, still holding the coffee. The camera pulls back on a lost Susan, unable to comprehend what just happened. As the camera backs further away, time passes, and we see Susan standing with her hand on her hip and her lips flapping. She's giving Chloe or herself a hell of a lecture. We went through a crossover event for this?
Bosco and Yokas burn the midnight oil at the office. Gerald is across the way in a holding cell, curled up in a fetal position on the ground. Both officers sneak peeks at him. Bosco looks cute. The cameras in this episode are much kinder to him. He should probably have tried to get with Susan. Oh well.