Within

Um, I'm not quite sure how to put this, but I think we're opening this season in a uterus. Scully's, I presume. There's a low, thudding heartbeat in the background, and, frankly, it's all very reminiscent of the time in ninth grade when my entire class had to watch The Miracle of Life and we followed the development of a fetus from sperm to squalling infant, and every single girl walked out of class vowing never to have sex, ever, because childbirth looked both gross and painful. And this looks like that. And, so, according to that incontestable data, I think we're in the womb. There's...a little hand...another little hand...and another hand, presumably the first hand, again, or Scully has bigger problems than she suspects...and then it's all primordial goo, and Mulder, a la Keanu Reeves in The Matrix struggles up and out of a tub of said goo, as a respirator tube-thing is being yanked roughly out of his mouth. He coughs up a whole wad of goo.

Cut to Scully, waking up with a gasp, breathing hard and sitting straight up in her hospital bed. She sighs, and lays back down, hand protectively over the ole womb.

And credits. They're new and non-improved. Among the "enhancements" is a shot of a fetus, which turns into a sun which is eclipsed by the moon, and a closing shot of Mulder falling backwards into Scully's eyeball. Subtle. And apparently done by a first-year film student at the University of Suck-Ass Special Effects, Where Blue Screens Are Optional.

Apparently, however, the truth is still out there. I'm so relieved. I thought we might have found it after eight freaking years.

Okay, so Chris Carter decided to stick the "Previouslys" in here. An unusual placement, but whatever. Anyway, previously, on The X-Files, Scully was subjected to medical tests which rendered her barren; Mulder spent too much of the FBI's money; the aliens started re-abducting previous abductees (get it?), but they didn't want Scully, they wanted Mulder instead, God knows why; Skinner saw the alien ship; The Lone Gunmen...uh, were there, but didn't say much of anything; Scully wept to Skinner that they'll find Mulder; on board the alien ship, Mulder came face to face with the Alien Bounty Hunter; Scully told Skinner that she's pregnant, against all odds.