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C.J. is back with Pizza Hut-brand pizza and sets off the really loud alarms that sound like the Enterprise circa Wrath of Khan going to red alert. That's some blatant product placement. I'm giving up Pizza Hut for Lent. Security rushes to C.J. as soon as the alarms are tripped. "Tommy, it's me!" yelps C.J. She guesses that her card must be "bent or something," but the security team is skeptical. Hey, that's their job, right? "Guys, it's me," pleads C.J. The guard studies the card and says, "Card says you're Charles Young." C.J. blurts out her reply before reality hits her: "Yes...well, okay, obviously, I'm not..." Oh she knows...she KNOWS! "Then why do you have a card that doesn't belong to you?" questions the guard. Leo walks in saying, "What's going on?" "Mr. McGarry," the guard says, "this woman has a card that doesn't belong to her." Leo's a little flummoxed by this whole thing, so C.J. fills in the blanks. C.J. starts to explain Charlie's role in these wicked games they play that make me feel this way but is pushed back when she makes a small gesture of advance. Stunned by this, a wide-eyed C.J. stammers out an "oh my god." Leo tells Tommy the Guard to send her in with an appointment. "An APPOINTMENT?!" C.J. yells. "Be in your office in fifteen minutes," Leo tells C.J. Another point in the Win column for Charlie.
Meanwhile, Donna is talking to the New Hampshire holdouts. Again. Some more. Still. Blah blah blah selling the Presidentcakes. Josh (getting a little shore leave from the U.S.S. Bad Boss where he serves as Chief Petty Officer) walks up (without his coat and cold...GOOD), tells Donna to forget about it, and ends the call with a line about salmon being good on a bagel. By the way, that's how I proposed to Wing -- with a line about salmon on a bagel...and we've had lox of good times ever since. ["Oh, BOO! It's over." -- Wing Chun] As the camera pans away, Josh complains, "It's freezing out here." I can only assume Donna kneed him in the balls off-camera for that.
There's still more Chess Metaphor fun to be had in the Oval Office. Toby relates a story the First Lady told him about the President talking the King of Sweden's ear off about Bartlet's child's schoolwork at a party just hours after getting his Nobel Prize.
President: What's your point?
Toby: You're a good father -- you don't have to act like it. You're the president -- you don't have to act like it. You're a good man -- you don't have to act like it. You're not "just folks." You're not "plain-spoken." Do not, do not, do not act like it.
President: I don't want to be killed.
Toby: Then make this election about smart. And not. Make it about engaged. And not. Qualified and not. Make it about heavyweight. You're a heavyweight. And you've been holding me up for too many rounds.