Doctor's Orders

Previously on The Real World: the roommates found out that their next job involves putting on a play at the Chicago Halloween festival. Then they found out that there were going to Salem, Massachusetts to do research for their play. Wait, when did they find that out? Would it have killed them just to slip that in at the beginning of the episode instead of putting it in the "previously" section? God, that annoys me. Chris pointed out that Tonya is "really high-maintenance" and "needs attention." Unlike 80% of past RW cast members, who were easygoing and practically hid from the cameras. Theo yelled at Tonya and scared her so much that she threw a glass, which I still don't understand. Kyle gave Theo a little lecture about how he needs to treat Tonya, and Theo was all, "Shut up, Dunston. (tm Poly) I do what I please, and I please to do what I do." Theo thought Chris's flower arrangement was "too gay," and he hates the gays.

An ambulance screams down the street. Is Tonya going to the hospital again? No, she's going to visit her roommates at work. In an interview, Tonya says that she hasn't seen much of the roommates this week because they've been working and she's been too sick to go to work. Tonya finds CJP, who explains that the roommates are scattered all over the building. Their new offices are nice! I mean, they're still cubicles, but they're pretty spacious. Tonya says in a tiny little voice that she came to talk to everyone, because she's not going to be able to go to Salem, because her doctor told her not to. Does she have a note or something? Because I'm not buying it. Tonya continues, "I just want everyone to know, this is not because Justin was supposed to come or anything." Oh, yeah. Right. Given how much she hates her roommates and looooooves her gay boyfriend Justin, I'm sure that has nothing to do with it. She wasn't too sick to work while the others were in St. Louis and now suddenly, she's so sick that she can't go to Salem, and it just happens to be when Justin is visiting? Uh huh. Tell me another one, kidney girl. CJP gives Tonya a big hug, and Tonya rolls her eyes and then smiles, probably relieved to have gotten another lie out of the way.

SpongeKyle Squarehead voice-overs that Tonya isn't going on the trip, and will be separated from their "tight little pack." I've heard that Kyle likes a tight little pack. I don't know what that means, but it cracked me up for some reason. Kyle adds that Tonya is going to stay in Chicago with Justin, who has "ironically, suddenly shown up to be with her." Well, it's not all that ironic, except maybe in the Alanis sense. Kyle, Theo, and Aneesa are sitting around doodling and coloring with markers. What is that, kindergarten? What kind of job is that supposed to be, exactly? Meanwhile, instead of just going home, Tonya has to milk every last drop of drama out of the situation, so she curls up on the floor and "sleeps" next to a desk. Oh, spare me. ["Where have I seen that kind of thing before in a Real World bid for attention? Oh, riiiiiiiiiiiight." -- Wing Chun]