Previously on the Challenge: doesn't it seem like it's been a long time since there was a new episode? So much has happened since then. Stephen was arrested. Jisela, Veronica, Flora, and Beth S. (yikes!) posed for Playboy. Anyway, for once the "previously on" segment is useful. Last time we saw the contestants, Tara was worried about competing in the Ladder of Doom relay, because if she failed to complete the mission, she and Dan would be eliminated, enabling Josh and Holly to get into the final six. The contestants had to climb down a rope ladder -- which was suspended over some rocks and water -- grab a flag, and then climb back up. The team with the lowest combined time wins a ski vacation package. Upon first seeing the ladders, many of the contestants were inspired to invoke Belounatic, yo.
Thankfully, we start right out with the competition, so at least we know this won't be yet another non-competition episode. Coral, Kelley, and Elka are climbing first. Coral gets her feet tangled up and totters on the ladder. Mike yells to her to keep her feet wide. What looks like the most difficult part of this competition to me (besides keeping your balance) is the fact that the rungs of the ladders are really far apart, so tall people or people with long legs would have a definite advantage. It's difficult for someone like Elka, who I think is kind of short, to hold onto one rung and stretch her leg down to the rung. Plus, since they have to climb down first, they can't help looking down, which certainly isn't going to help Danny with his fear of heights. In an interview, Elka says that she kept seeing the waves crashing into the rocks, and she was sure that she would get taken out by a wave and swept out to sea. That would be a lot more realistic if they weren't wearing harnesses that would totally catch them if they fell. Coral gets to the flag first, grabs it, puts it in her mouth, and starts climbing back up. I would be afraid that I would scream and drop the flag into the water. In an interview, Coral says that she just wanted to get it over with. Kelley makes it back first, with a time of 3:33. Coral is , with a time of 3:41. In an interview, Coral says that she's not thinking about the other girls; she just wants to get off the fucking ladder. I feel her. Elka finishes third with a time of 4:03.
Sean, Danny, and Mike are strapped into their harnesses. In an interview, Mike says that Sean and Elka are first, so he and Coral need to step up because they "want to be the ultimate team." Why? As long as they are in the top three, who cares? It would have made a lot more sense to me if he had said that he and Coral want to come in first and win the ski vacation. Norm cheers for Sean. Kelley tells Danny to "lean into it" and "use that belay as much as you can." I don't know what that means, but it sounds dirty. Mike runs into a little trouble when he loses his balance and his ladder turns sideways, nearly dumping him into the water below. He manages to use his upper-arm strength (so I guess Tara was right to be worried about that) to turn the ladder back over. Sean lumberjacks to the flag first and finishes with a time of...oh, crap. The stupid MTV 10 Spot promo covered up Sean's time. Wow, good thing that MTV is letting me know that I can see an all new episode of the Challenge on Mondays at 10 PM, since that's what I'm currently watching. Good job, MTV promo department. Except not. Mike's time is also covered up, but it's in the four-minute range. They are both finished as Danny is just starting to climb back up. Danny finishes with a time of 5:08. Well, he's short, too. Danny tells Kelley that he's pissed, but Kelley says that she is proud of him, and gives him a hug. Danny says that he thought he would do better, and Kelley tries to cheer him up. Now, we get to see the combined times. Sean and Elka got a combined time of 7:33. Mike and Coral got a combined time of 7:43. Danny and Kelley got a combined time of 8:41.
up are Becky and Holly Not Wick. In an interview, Holly Not Wick says that she and Josh have nothing to lose, and they decided before the competition that they were going to leave everything out there. Holly Not Wick tends to speak in sports clichés a lot, doesn't she? Holly Not Wick and Josh discuss how they only feel good pressure. Becky stretches out. In an interview, Becky says that she and Norm are in fourth place, so they need to do well in this competition to avoid being eliminated. They start climbing. Holly Not Wick books down the ladder, while Becky...not so much. In an interview, Becky says that she was a quarter of the way down the ladder and she heard the RR team cheering for Holly Not Wick because she had grabbed the flag. Becky couldn't believe that Holly Not Wick was all the way to the bottom already. Holly Not Wick slips and loses her footing, but it doesn't slow her down much. Becky grabs the flag and starts back up. Holly Not Wick gets a time of 3:40 and then gives Josh some advice on climbing. Becky ends up with a time of 5:57, and comments that it was really hard.
In an interview, Norm says that he's going to have to "overcompensate" for Becky, and race like a (here he makes a little gesture but you know he wanted to say "motherfucker") and go as fast as he can. Yeah, Becky's time pretty much puts them out of the competition unless Norm can somehow get a time well under three minutes, which no one has been able to do thus far. Josh and Norm start climbing. Josh struggles with the ladder. In an interview, Josh says that as he was climbing down, he realized that he would have to throw all of his strategy out the window and just go as fast as he could. Josh has a lot of trouble with the ladder, nearly falling off numerous times. Josh voice-overs, "This rope ladder hates me. It hates my mom. It hates my world. It hates my family." I would trade three Theos for one Josh when it comes to quirky sayings. Josh dives up the ladder and somehow doesn't fall off. Theo yells out, "Run, donkey!" Josh finally fights to the top of the ladder for a time of 3:14. Various contestants tell him that he's an animal and Josh yells out, "I'm an animal!" Maybe that's why Theo called him a donkey. Norm finishes with a time of 3:42 and gives Josh a high-five. Josh and Holly's combined score is 6:54 and Norm and Becky's is 9:39. Ouch. In an interview, Josh says that they are still in it, and that there's a chance that they could win the ski package. And, if Tara screws up, they might make the Inner Circle. A graphic informs us that Josh and Holly are currently in first place and at first I was like, "Duh!" because they are the only RR team who has competed at this point, but then I realized that they meant first place overall. So I'm the dumb one.
Tara whines some more about how much pressure she is under. Dan gives her some last-minute advice. In an interview, Tara explains again that they only way that she and Dan can be eliminated is if she doesn't complete the race. Theo tells Hollywick that they have nothing to lose, because they are so far ahead that even if they don't complete the race, they will still make the Inner Circle. Tara voice-overs that she has "everything to lose" and she's "scared out of [her] mind right now." Okay, we got it! Start the race, for crying out loud. Mark tells them to prepare to climb, and we go to commercial.
In an interview, Josh says that his focus is on Tara and Dan, because if they don't make it, he will be in the Inner Circle. Hollywick, Tara, and Emily start climbing. In an interview, Josh says that he's still cheering Tara on because she's his friend. In an interview, Dan explains fucking once again that he and Tara can only be eliminated if they fail to complete the mission and get a zero. Everyone got that, now? Jesus. In an interview, Tara says that all she cared about was getting down and up the ladder, and that Hollywick and Emily zoomed by her. Hollywick's freakily long legs come in handy once again. Mike can't believe how quickly Hollywick finished. Hollywick gets a time of 3:20. Everyone applauds. Emily finishes in 4:20, and pot smokers of the world giggle. More than usual. Tara gingerly makes her way up the ladder and finishes with a time of 6:21. She gets a big hug from Dan. In an interview, Tara says that she's very proud of herself for finally getting something right.
Timmy, Dan, and Theo suit up. Wouldn't it be funny if, after all that drama about Tara finishing, Dan fell off the ladder and lost it for them? Maybe it's just me. Theo wonders where he's going to put the flag. I've got a couple of suggestions, but frankly I'd be happiest if he put it in his mouth so that he would shut up for a while. Hollywick advises him to avoid dropping it. Thanks, Queen of the Obvious. Hollywick yells out advice to Theo. In an interview, Theo says that hearing the waves "kind of makes you feel your nerves crashing against your skin." I thought I told him to shut up for a while. Theo grabs the flag. In an interview, Theo wears the Blue Cheek Star of Evil as he says, "I'm rocking on this ladder. I don't even know this ladder, and I'm doing so good." Well, I'm sorry that he and the ladder were not properly introduced. Dan stuffs the flag in his shirt, which seems smarter to me than holding it in your mouth. Theo finishes with a time of 3:01. Dan finishes with a time of 3:10 as Tara asks rhetorically if she could have a better teammate. Tara gives Dan a big hug. In an interview, Dan says that he and Tara completed the mission, so they know that they will be in the Inner Circle, and he's happy that he will be there for the rest of the trip. Timmy takes it slow, since there's no reason for him to rush, and finishes with a time of 5:25.
The combined times are shown. Theo and Hollywick got 6:21. Timmy and Emily got 9:45. Dan and Tara got 9:50. Mark announces that Theo and Hollywick came in first overall and won the ski vacation package. In an interview, Becky says that Theo and Hollywick are cleaning up. In an interview, Mike says that they have won two already, and "it's unnecessary." Oh, whatever, Mike. It's not like they are cheating. They're just better than you. Suck it up. Sean tells Theo semi-jokingly that he should feel bad, and stop winning and share the prizes with the poor kids. Theo seems to take it very seriously, and has a distressed look on his face. In an interview, Hollywick says that Theo "is not used to winning." Theo and Hollywick discuss their vacation. In an interview, Theo says that he never thought he would be on the top team, because he lacks confidence. Theo tells Hollywick that he feels like he doesn't deserve to win that much stuff. Hollywick assures him that he competed well, and that he earned it. Theo seems pacified. In an interview, Hollywick says that she's focused and driven, and she's there for a reason. Theo brings up a time that he lost a basketball game by missing a foul shot, and Hollywick says that he's making up for past defeats. In an interview, Theo says that he likes Hollywick's "competitive spirit," adding that "she's kind of like an Indian that doesn't want to walk down the Trail of Tears." I don't know. I also don't know what was up with the ruffle-front shirt that Theo was wearing in that interview. Theo and Hollywick tell each other that they are happy to be teammates.
Josh and Holly Not Wick walk down to the beach together. In an interview, Holly says that they survived each round, and she hates being "just a survivor," and has never been that before. She's always been "the dominator." Holly fucking cries and says that she wishes that she had never been good at anything because then she would never be disappointed. Josh rubs her back. Okay. It's the fucking Challenge. It's not the Olympics. The crying is so unnecessary, and yet coming from Holly, not at all surprising. In an interview, Holly says that she thought of all the times that they could have gotten one more point. Josh tells Holly that you just have to do the best you can. In an interview, Josh says that he goes home with his head held high, because he knows that he tried his hardest. Josh tells Holly it sucks that they have to go home and don't get to stay for the rest of the trip, and he points out that at least they didn't get voted off. In an interview, Holly says, "Josh makes it all worthwhile." Holly tells Josh that they also lived through a hurricane. In an interview, Holly says that in the end, you have to let it go. Yes! You do. I wish she had figured that out a while ago. Holly and Josh hug as Jewel sings on the soundtrack. Josh tells Holly that he's proud of them, and Holly agrees.
The contestants enter the room to get the official word on who is going home. The RW team carry Becky in on their shoulders. Mark announces that Holly and Josh are going home. In an interview, Timmy says that they're happy to be in the Inner Circle. In an interview, Emily says that no one has a clue how motivated she is to beat the RW team. Mark asks Josh and Holly to come up front and say a few words. Everyone cheers. Josh says that they had good times and great people and exhorts the RR team to "kick some ass." In an interview, Dan says that Josh and Holly are great people, and that he's sad to see them go.
Eric announces that Becky and Norm from the RW side will be going home. In an interview, Elka says that her name was at the top of the board, and she's not sure how that happened. Yeah, me neither, since we've seen Elka say about two words this whole season. In an interview, Sean says that he never dreamed he could make it this far. Eric invites his castmates Norm and Becky, up to say a few words. Norm says how great it was to meet everyone. In an interview, Kelley says that she's going to miss them a lot. Becky tells the RW to win it for them. Kelley yells out, "We love you! We love you! We love you!" Norm gives another pep talk, and everyone cheers. Coral pretends that she's going to flash someone, but doesn't. Eric announces that the eliminations are over, and that the serious competition for the money will begin the day. In an interview, Danny says that he and Kelley thought they would be one of the first teams to go home, and even told their friends that they would see them in a week's time. Mark wishes everyone luck, and there is even more applause.
Holly Not Wick, Josh, Dan, and Tara sit out on the patio. Holly says that there was a lot to enjoy, and sometimes with all the tension, she forgot that she was there to enjoy the experience. Tara says that she's glad she met Holly and Josh. Holly agrees, and asks what she and Tara would have done without each other. They bring up Belounatic, yo. In an interview, Holly says that she came into a game that can be ugly and mean and walked away a good and happy person, and someone who was kind to everyone around here. Josh says that their competition was top gun, so he's not ashamed to come in fourth place. Josh and Tara hug. In an interview, Holly says that this show showcases the two best people from every season. Or, the two people who needed the money the most. Or, the two people who were unemployed and could take the time off. Or, the two people who were the most desperate for some more camera time. Anyway, Holly calls it "the most intense competition that we've ever seen." Again, not so much.
Sean says goodbye to Becky. In an interview, Becky says that she believes in Sean and Elka. Mike hugs Becky goodbye. Becky tells him to win it for them. Norm and Sean hug. Sean says that the social director is leaving. In an interview, Norm says that if the RW team wins, he and Becky will take home another $2000, due to the money-sharing plan. Norm stands outside the door, and Mike jokingly shuts it in his face and tells him to get out of there. Norm starts pounding on the door and mock-sobbing.
Mike and Theo sit outside. Theo says that it's cool to see some people's competitive sides come out, like Danny's. Mike agrees that Danny and Kelley were the underdogs of the competition. Theo says that no one knew for sure what would happen, and that he remembers standing on the beach with all sixteen teams. Mike asks Theo whether there is anyone he would swap out for the final six. Theo says that there isn't. Mike says that he got the team he wants, and that it's a team he thinks can beat the RR team even though the RR team is in better shape. Mike thinks that if his team works "as a whole," they can beat RR. In an interview, Mike says his team has what it needs to win. Mike tells Theo that when the RR team was voting off the fourth-place teams, the RW team was thanking them. Okay, now Mike's kind of being a jerk. I kind of hope he loses. But that would mean that Hollywick would win, which would annoy me. Mike says, "Even though we're the team that you need to beat, you were beating yourselves." Okay, Zen Mike. In an interview, Theo says that the RW team doesn't have "the team soul" that you need to win, and that they're "not even the whole joke -- they're just the punchline." I hate both of them right now. Mike ask Theo, "If you put your three weakest teams against our three strongest teams, I mean, who do you think is going to win?" Maybe they will cancel each other out. I think Hollywick and Theo alone could beat all three RW teams combined. I wish Theo would actually say something back to Mike instead of just sitting there like an idiot...oh, wait. Forget I said anything.
Theo works off his frustrations in the weight room. He's shirtless, and pouring down sweat. In an interview, Theo says that he feels a lot of pressure, and that he's never put that much weight on his shoulders before, but he's willing to give it his best shot. The clever editors cut right from Theo talking about the weight on his shoulders to a shot of him lifting weights. Meanwhile, Sean is doing side stretches and he looks like the biggest wimp to Theo. In an interview, Sean says that he would like the money and the handsome reward, and that he's confident he will take home the top prize. Oh, go jump some rope, Sean. Oh, wait. That's what he is doing.
week: the competition involves roping cows or something. Theo says that this past week is the first time that he's seen Hollywick laugh. Emily reads an email from Chadwick to Hollywick that calls Emily the devil. Someone (Hollywick? Tara?) voice-overs that if you go through life lying to yourself, eventually that catches up with you. Intriguing.