Crappy MTV timing caused me to miss the first minute or so of the episode on my tape, so we cut right to when Amaya reads the clue, which is something about being turned upside down, with advice to Julie to "do what [she's] told," which doesn't even make sense because there is no one from the Hawaii season on this Challenge. I guess they ran out of suckers to read the instructions. Emily voice-overs that she's "trying to act instead of react to Julie." Julie voice-overs that she and Emily "don't get along -- that's a given." Laterrian reads a message from the Nokia about it being time to cash in their pounds and get "Dutch marks [sic]" because they're going to Germany. Kameelah is way too excited about going to Germany. I mean, it's cool and all, but is it really that exciting? They're already in Europe. I seriously think Kameelah got a bonus this season to be really excited about everything, and to provide exposition.
Germany montage. I think I just saw Lola, running. Jamie speaks some faux-German that sounds more like the Swedish chef. Michelle responds, but at least it sounded like she was actually speaking German. Since I don't, I can't tell. The teams arrive at some sort of park and meet their Mission Mayor, a woman named Yana. She asks if they've ever heard of her company, when before yesterday, Julie probably hadn't even heard of Germany. Anyway, her company does bungee jumping from a nearby tower. Julie goes, "Yes, bungeeeeeeee!" and jumps up and down, but then Yana shoots her down by saying that they won't be doing that. Ha! They'll be doing three events that day. Yana apologizes for her English, and explains that she's nervous, but they will be more nervous when they find out what the mission is. Aw, Yana is cute. Julie voice-overs, "I don't know what she just said, but it sounds like fun." Seriously, the editors hate Julie. Either she's the biggest idiot in the world, or she's an idiot sometimes, and the editors show every moment of her idiocy. It's time for Exposition Kameelah! In an interview, Kameelah says that they'll be doing extreme sports, but she's never heard of any of these sports before. In an interview, Emily says that she's "one hundred percent confident that [her team] will win." Oh, they're so going to lose. That was the kiss of death right there. In an interview, Julie says that her team "will always dominate" and "always come through no matter what." Ooh, dueling kisses of death. I don't know what to make of this. Except that I hate Julie.
Yana explains the first match. There are bicycles attached to a rope that is stretched from floor to ceiling. Pedalling the bicycles makes them move up the rope vertically. There is a bell at the top, and whoever rings the bell first wins. Each team has to choose one male and one female for this race. The RW team discusses, and Jamie says that he's "a strong biker" except that the captioning says that he's "a strong bugger," which is much, much funnier. James tells the RR team that he'd like to do this. Rebecca thinks she has "good legs for that," and Julie agrees. Michelle also has strong legs. Yana flips a coin to decide that the females will go first. Rebecca asks whether anyone has a hat she can wear, and Syrrhosis gives her his bandanna. Christian rubs down Michelle's legs in a little more than friendly manner. Yana reminds them that they need to ring the bell to win the race, and then counts down the start. Julie runs in place on the ground as if she, too, is pedaling a bicycle. Shut up, Julie. She wasn't talking, but she still needs to shut up. They continue to show everyone cheering from the ground, so we have no idea who is leading. There's a camera mounted on Michelle's handlebars, which provides some extremely scary pictures of her straining. It looks like Rebecca might be ahead, but since the shot isn't wide enough to show both of them at the same time, it's impossible to tell. Good camera work, B/M. Michelle reaches for the bell, but Rebecca rings it first. Julie screams and jumps around like she had anything to do with it. Yana awards the RW team fifty points.
up, in the same event, are James and Jamie -- or, as Laterrian puts it, "the All-American boy versus the All-American boy." If those two represent America, I'm moving to Canada. Wing, do you have room for me? ["As long as you don't bring either of them with you, yes." -- Wing Chun] James says a little prayer before the race begins. Laterrian tells James to go big. I think Jamie is winning. Scary straining shots of James. If there was a camera on the RR bike and not on the RW bike, that seems like a disadvantage. Extra weight and all. Susie doesn't even bother to cheer James on. Jamie rings the bell first for the win. Julie gloats to Syrrhosis, "Jamie kicked his butt." Seriously. They are trying to make me hate her more than I thought possible. It almost makes me want to like her, just to be contrary. Well, not that much. The RW team now has one hundred points and the RR team has zero.
In an interview, Emily says, "Julie is a pit bull. Julie is absolutely acting like a pit bull." While Emily speaks, we see more footage of Julie screaming and cheering on her team. In an interview, a blonde Julie (who has red hair during the actual mission) says that Emily is always complaining about the way she acts, and she probably intimidates Emily. She's exactly right. If by "intimidates," she means "irritates." And if by "Emily," she means "the world." Syrrhosis takes pictures of Jamie as his bike is lowered to the ground. Kameelah coos, "Ooh, Jamie-Waymie! Can I be your girlfriend, Jamie?" Dan repeats, "Can I be your girlfriend?" Okay, heh. The scary thing about that is that when I saw Jamie speak live to a group of college students (and my friend Mary and me, not college students at all), most of the women were like, "Jamie, do you have a girlfriend? Jamie, will you party with us after? Jamie, you are so hot!" I wanted to kill. Them. All. James cries over on the side as Yana explains that the RW team has one hundred points, and that it's time to move on to the second event.
The two teams (and Yana) come up to a wall where they will "house run." In an interview, Julie explains that house running is backward rappelling, where you "run Spider-Man-style down the side of a building." Note that Julie said that you run. Not fall. Run. Again, each team has to choose a male and a female. On the way down the wall, the person has to grab flags. The first person to reach the ground with all the flags wins, and each run is worth fifty points. Julie and Dan will be going for the RW team. Emily and Christian will be going for the RR team. In an interview, Jamie says that Julie and Emily will be competing, and that they are both athletic, and that Julie is also aggressive. We see Julie flexing her muscles. In an interview, Julie (now with the Willow/anime hairstyle that she had for theRWReunion Special) smarms, "Me and Emily, at it again. It couldn't be more perfect." First of all, that was clearly taped about three weeks after the event. Second of all, it's "Emily and me," not "me and Emily." Third of all, Julie is scaring me with the lipstick. It's like that scary Sarah Michelle Gellar Maybelline commercial where it looks like she just ate something bloody. In an interview, Emily says that she's going to win. God, I hope so. Syrrhosis tells Jamie that he's glad he didn't pick this one. Dan stares down the wall and then declares that he needs a helmet. Or a parachute. I would so be the Dan of any Challenge I was on. Christian looks pretty psyched about the whole thing, but Dan thinks it's "insanity." Then he says, "I went to college." Then he says, "I'm going to start to cry again." Dan cracks me up. Julie cheers Dan on while Emily scarily lurks in the bushes behind her. The race begins, and it's fairly close. Dan falls so that his feet are no longer touching the wall, but waits until he gets back into a "walking" position to continue. That's important for future reference. This allows Christian to pull into the lead. Julie starts freaking out, jumping up and down and screaming, "Come on, Dan!" Christian reaches the ground first, and the RR team gets fifty points. The score is now RW 100 and RR 50.
Emily and Julie get strapped into their harnesses. Rebecca -- who is sitting on James's lap, so I guess they are still dating -- says that it looks really fun to her. Emily voice-overs that every time they compete, it gets really stressful. Syrrhosis voice-overs that "the two crazy girls from each team are competing." Emily has never struck me as that crazy, but whatever. Julie voice-overs that she's going to beat Emily no matter what it takes (emphasis mine). And then we go to commercial, while the whole world hopes that Julie plummets to her death. Okay, maybe not to her death. Maybe she could just hit her head hard enough to shake some sense into her.
As the two women wait to start, Susie yells up to Emily to look who's to her and "focus on her." Yana counts it down, and they go. Emily gets an early lead, but then stumbles and struggles back to her feet. In an interview, Julie says that she hit the first flag and fell, and as she was falling, she heard Emily rushing by her, and she panicked. A long shot of the wall reveals that Emily is way ahead. In an interview, Julie says that she decided she needed to get to the bottom however she could. Julie flies down the wall without ever touching it with her feet, and beats Emily to the bottom by a fraction of a second. In an interview, Emily says she thought, "No way. I won this." Julie gets up and looks around for confirmation of her win. Julie immediately starts making excuses about how she couldn't go because they were "belaying [her] tight." Jamie asks whether Julie won. Emily gets hugs from her teammates and then asks, "Did I lose?" Yana gives the official word -- Julie won fifty points for her team. Emily yells at someone to get her out of her harness. Laterrian grouses that Julie's feet never touched the wall, and James adds that they dropped Julie two stories, and she never ran. Yana comes up to Emily and says that it was hard, and Emily says that it's not hard if the rules are "rappelling, not running," and that she didn't just let herself go because you're supposed to run, not fall. Yana seems a bit taken aback by Emily's intensity. Emily stalks off as Julie explains to someone that she was trying to get her feet back on the wall, but they weren't belaying her out. Whatever. She totally wasn't trying to get her feet back on the wall. They replay the footage of Julie falling down the wall, and she's clearly not trying to get her feet under her, and she has plenty of slack in the rope, if she would stop herself and let them give her slack, instead of hanging there like dead weight. In an interview, Emily says that "Julie won unfairly, and what she did was cheating, so she should not get the points, plain and simple." Julie explains to Susie that the rules only said to get down the wall and hit the flags, and she did that first. You know, the more she tries to justify it, the guiltier she looks. In an interview, Julie says, "I played by the rules I was given. I got down. I won. The points were on the board, and she started crying." The venom I feel towards Julie cannot be put into words. There are not enough words to explain it. I could raise Merriam and Webster from the dead and commission a new dictionary of words, and there still would not be enough.
Yana calls everyone back and explains that it was her fault, because she didn't explain that falling isn't allowed. Julie tries to throw up that lame "belayers were too tight" excuse again, and behind her, Emily does a tremendous eye roll that would put Kameelah to shame. Yana tries to explain in her fractured English (and I'm not dogging her English -- God knows, I don't speak German) that it's not against the rules, but it's also not with the rules. In other words, Julie didn't break the letter of the law, but she broke the spirit of the law. Julie continues to argue, and absolutely none of her teammates back her up. Yana tells them that the fairest thing to do is have the race again, and that, if you fall, you have to get back on your feet again. The alternative is that they don't count the points at all. Emily calls for a team meeting to discuss it.
It's time for more Exposition Kameelah! In an interview, Kameelah says what Yana just did -- that they either do the event over, or no one gets the points. In the RR team meeting, Emily tells them that she wants the points, or she's not happy. Michelle tries to point out that what Emily wants isn't going to happen -- it's not one of the options given to them. Emily says that it's "about principle," and James tells her that it's not going to look good. To whom? The viewing audience? In an interview, Michelle says that this is "a culmination of things with Julie, and Emily feels wronged."
Over at the RW team, Rebecca says that this should be the argument challenge, or the debate challenge. Syrrhosis says that he wants to be on Johnnie Cochran's team, because he wants to win. So clearly, these people don't care whether they get the points or not.
In contrast, over on the RR team, Emily asks whether her team thinks that she should do it again. Susie does. Michelle points out that if she doesn't, it will be very hard for them to win. Emily says that if they do the race again, she will win, because Julie was not very good. But Emily feels that's not the point, and that it's the principle at stake. In an interview, Laterrian wonders whether the principle is worth losing $10,000 over, and he feels that if Emily hates Julie so much, and she thinks she can win, then she should go out there and win. The thing about Laterrian is that he says these great things in interviews, but then during the actual discussion, he sits there silently. Like, quit being so passive-aggressive, Laterrian. Emily tells everyone that she was happy when the race was over, because she thought she won, but then she saw the looks on their faces. Emily says with finality that she's not doing the race again, and that she will get points for that event. And this is the point in the episode where my sympathy for Emily was depleted, because she's just being unreasonable. Yes, it's unfair. Yes, Julie cheated. Yes, Emily should have won. But that's not how it works, and she has two choices, and she can't just go and pick non-existent option three and expect her teammates to be happy about it. In an interview, Laterrian says that just because Emily says she wants the fifty points doesn't mean she'll get them. Of course, he doesn't actually say that to Emily.
Yana asks the RW team whether they have come to a decision, and they tell her they've decided to go with whatever the RR team decides. Yana nods and then heads over to see what the RR team has decided. As she walks in, James is telling Emily that you have to pick your battles, and that maybe this isn't the right one to pick. He says that it's clear that the situation "sucked ass," but "sometimes you've got to deal with the ref's shitty call and keep playing." This is two episodes in a row where I've agreed with James. This is frightening me. Make it stop. Bring back bratty James. Wait, forget I said that. Yana asks whether they have made a decision, and Emily brats, "No. We don't. We do not have a decision." James asks what the RW team decided, and Yana tells them that it's up to them.
After the break, everyone is suddenly back outside, instead of in the room where we left them. Emily is arguing with Yana that she should get the fifty points, because Julie cheated. Yana, to her credit, doesn't let Emily bully her. Julie tells Kameelah that Emily should be happy for the chance to go again. Emily tells everyone that she's leaving, and walks off. Michelle runs after her, which is just what Emily wanted. Julie tells Kameelah that Emily is "angry about something that can't be fixed," and that Emily holds grudges. Emily tells Michelle that she hates being put in the position of swallowing her pride and taking one for the team. In an interview, Emily says that she's swallowed her pride before, and now she's got to stick up for herself. I don't think that anyone would see Emily as weak if she backed down here. Emily hugs Michelle and then wonders what happened to the "grade-school rule" about cheaters getting disqualified. Ah, but she's forgetting the grade-school rule about do-overs. If there was ever a question about it, you just got a do-over. I wish we still had do-overs as adults. There are definitely times where I want a do-over. Kameelah asks Julie, "Nothing is going to make [Emily] happy, so why is everyone kissing her ass?" Aw, Kameelah. Usually you are the voice of reason, when you are not the voice of exposition. Yes, Emily is being unnecessarily stubborn. But she is right, in the end. She should compromise here, but she is right.
James begs Emily to compromise, but Emily feels that it is cut and dried, and she won't do it again out of principle. Exposition Kameelah shows up to tell us that Emily had a "whole moral sophisticated battle," and decided that she wouldn't do it again, so no one got the points.
Finally, they move on to the last part of the mission. It's a reverse bungee jumping thing -- they are hooked up to a bungee cord, which is attached to a crane. When they are released, they go flying into the air. The points come in because they are holding a water balloon, which they drop onto a target and earn various points depending on where it hits. As Yana explains all this, Susie whispers to Michelle that she understands Emily's position, but that she needs to pay for college. Oh, Susie. Like the rest of the participants don't want the money, too. Whatever. In an interview, Emily says that she's beginning to realize that there are two definitions for the word "competition." One is, "Play by the rules. Do it right. Do it well. Do it better. And win." The other is, "Do whatever it takes."
James will be the first to be launched. I don't know why James get to go twice and Laterrian didn't go at all. James says a little prayer before he is launched high in the air. It looks very scary. He drops his balloon, but it totally misses the target and he gets zero points. As he is let down, he laughs hysterically.
Syrrhosis is . As the harness is attached, he makes a crack about wanting to have kids, because it's a little snug on his...ahem, area. Syrrhosis doesn't get any points, either. As they unhook him, he says, "I swear to God, I was going to the moon."
Susie is up . Before she is launched, she talks to herself, saying that she won't die and that it will be fun. Seriously, I don't think that I could do this. Too scary. But I'm a wimp. Susie is launched. She drops her balloon nowhere near the target and then apologizes while still in the air.
Kameelah is the final contestant. Her shoe goes flying off on launch. Kameelah voice-overs that she wasn't trying to hit any target -- she was just trying to "keep [her] body in the bungee and not pee on [herself]." Admirable goals. As she finishes, she pleads with the handlers to get her out. I don't think she even dropped the balloon. She didn't get any points, anyway. Everyone runs over to make sure she is okay. She is.
Laterrian gets strapped in. Maybe they added an extra heat to this event to make up for there being no points in the last one? That's my guess. Susie tells him that there's no pressure, but that they need points to win. In an interview, Michelle says that Laterrian is their last hope. Yana tells him that he needs to hit seventy-five points for his team to have a chance. Laterrian is launched, drops his balloon, and gets...ten points. In an interview, Laterrian says that it ran through his head that if Emily had done the wall again, they might have had another fifty points. So if they lose by less than fifty points, Laterrian is going to "blow up."
Dan is going last. He rejoices over being given a red balloon because he thinks it's good luck. Dan is launched into the air. He drops his balloon for fifty points. The final score is RW 150, RR 60. So Emily's points didn't matter after all.
Laterrian tells Emily to smile, which is, like, the most annoying thing someone can say to you when you're pissed off. Emily says that she's happy that the RW team won, fair and square. Susie tells Emily that it's not her fault. Emily snipes that it wasn't her fault anyway. Susie rephrases, saying that even if Emily had won the fifty points, they wouldn't have won. Emily says, totally straight-faced, "I did win the fifty points." Okay, give it up. The mission is over. You've made your point. Susie rolls her eyes and says, "Okay." Emily's all, "What do you mean?" Now she's just looking for a fight. Christian tells Michelle that they need to talk about this.
Yana awards the $10,000 to the RW team, and announces that Rebecca is the MVP. I've given up on trying to figure out how that works. Rebecca wins a Palm Pilot. In an interview, Kameelah says that "despite all the hoopla with Emily," her team won.
That night, on the RR bus, Christian talks to Emily. He tells her that there were a lot of emotions involved in the mission. Emily says that it was a big deal to her because it was a principle. Christian says that he tried to understand how she was feeling, but that he didn't get the impression that she tried to understand how the others felt. He still thinks that she has a lot of emotions about it, and that's why she has this attitude, and it's affected her teammates. Emily doesn't think it has, but Christian assures her that it has. In an interview, Emily says that Christian made her think about how she doesn't know everything, and that she's not as open-minded as she thought she was, and that she still has some growing to do.
Cut to Emily and Julie walking down the street together. They discuss what it was like growing up in a small town, and how they both had to deal with other people's expectations. In an interview, Emily explains that they went shopping together for the afternoon. Julie's hair, while shopping, is really not red, so I have my doubts about where this occurred on the timeline. In an interview, Julie (back to the really red Willow/anime hair and scary lipstick) says, "Emily and I are trying to be friends, but this trip is not over yet." Do I have to say it yet again? Shut. Up. Julie.