Previously on the Challenge: Christian said they are all happy that Susie joined the team. James told Rebecca that he would rather win and break somebody's finger than lose, and Rebecca thought that their romance might not be "the match made in heaven." The episode description makes it sound like they're going to break up this week. Woo hoo!
Cheesy sunset footage. Emily, Rebecca, James, Christian, and Dan are eating at a restaurant. James is apparently eating the soup of the day, which looks like vomit. In an interview, Rebecca says that when she first met James, he used to make her laugh all the time, and then "he just changed." Trouble in paradise, see? Rebecca continues, saying that she and James react to things differently, and that James is much more competitive, and that she would rather pay "ten thousand Monster dot com dollars to lose well than lose like a baby." Why do they always have to call them "Monster dot com dollars"? That's so scripted. I'm sure she said that line just saying "dollars" and then the editors asked her to say it over and plug the sponsor. Plus, she just called James a baby. Hee!
In the restaurant, Emily answers a cell phone. It's Theo! James yells out, "Theoooooooo!" in the middle of the restaurant. In an interview, James says that he thinks Rebecca is sexy, and she "composes herself," and she's got great eyes. What is she, Beethoven? She composes herself? James steps outside to take the call from Theo, and manically paces on the sidewalk and into the street. He tells Theo that it's "swirling around weird, dude," and about his "semi-relationship" with Rebecca. James concludes that it's "kinda like day by day, dude, you know?" Now we know that Theo brings out the "dude" in James. In more ways than one. In an interview, James says that he's afraid of "blowing it." Oh, so many places I could go with that one. James tells Theo that he'll make him proud. Dude.
Purple sunset footage. On the bus, Dan and James are blowing bubbles. This is the same day as the first "James and Rebecca are in loooooove" episode, where Dan was asking James about Rebecca. Anyway, Dan says that it's impossible to be unhappy when you're blowing bubbles. That's kind of true, but I tend to think it's because you don't tend to start blowing bubbles when you're unhappy. Instead, you lie in bed and write in your journal and listen to The Cure. Oh, sorry. I had a teenage angst flashback there. Oh, who am I kidding? I wasn't cool enough to listen to The Cure. I probably listened to something like Debbie Gibson. In fact, I'm sure that's exactly what I listened to. Oh, what? This isn't about me? Sorry, I'm trying out for the role of "Julie the Mormon" on season. Anyway, James turns the whole thing into a bet, and they decide that whoever can blow a bigger bubble wins. The loser has to run around both buses naked. Man, that Dan is clever. He must have seduced "straight" boys before.
In an interview, Dan says that "James could make a competition out of tying his shoes," and then launches into a James impersonation that involves sticking out his tongue, making devil horns with his hands and saying, "Dog" and "Beat your ass." It's incredibly accurate. If you had any doubts about Dan's intentions, I think the background music for this scene is "I Want Candy." James picks up the bubble wand but he does that thing where you don't get enough soap on the wand, or blow too hard, and end up with nothing. Dan thinks he won, but James tries to claim that it was just a warm-up. Dan chases James through the bus. Where the hell is everyone else at this point? Back at the table, Dan prepares for his turn. James keeps babbling about how it was just a warm-up and says, "Drama queen, don't build this up." Dan rolls his eyes dramatically and says, "Oh, you did not just call me that." Dan is cracking me up in small doses. Dan, of course, blows multiple large bubbles on his attempt.
Dan and James go outside. James can't believe that he agreed to this. Dan is wondering where everyone is. James keeps bellyaching about how he can blow a bubble better. Dan tells James where to run. While Dan is pointing out the route, James drops trou and takes off. As we see him running naked, Dan says in an interview, "Every once in a while, you see this little glimmer of who James really is. He just needs a little encouragement." Oh. My. God. Could they be trying any harder to intimate that James is closeted? That is so funny. The best part is that if James watched this episode, he totally wouldn't get it. Dan runs onto the bus where a naked James dives into a bunk. Dan announces to James that "Machiavelli once said, 'The ends…the end justifies the means.'" In other words, Dan's psyched that he got to see James's ass. We close with a shot of James's picture on the side of the bus.
Syrrhosis reads a text message aloud from the Nokia. It's something about going to an athletic field in Connecticut. In an interview, Kameelah says that they think the mission will involve soccer. Too bad the captioning identified her as Msaada. Dude, she's not even on the show! That's so wrong. In an interview, Susie says that she's the most excited about this mission because it's her first one. The two teams arrive at the field. Two men and two women are waiting for them. They are: Brian McBride, Sara Whalen, Lorrie Fair, and Brandon Donovan. I know nothing about soccer, so those names mean nothing to me, but they might to you, so there you go. In an interview, James thinks it's "trippy" that Brian McBride is there, because he used to play video games in his dorm room and he was "controlling Brian McBride on [his] joystick." Seriously. Someone get this boy some counseling. I just want him to accept himself for who he is. Back on the field, Brian McBride explains that they are there to coach the team. Lots of shots of people practicing soccer. James voice-overs that he was "stoked" because he played soccer for four years in high school. James and Jamie both do very well. Rebecca and Syrrhosis both praise Jamie's athleticism. Everyone tries to shoot goals, with varying degrees of success. Laterrian has never played soccer, and he thinks James will be the best one on their team. Rebecca says that James is really good. So, do you think James is good at soccer? What about Jamie? The female coaches comment that the teams are looking good, and that it could get "intense" later on. I don't think they were talking about the game, if you catch my drift.
Kameelah expositions that they are ready to play soccer, but there is "a kink in the plans." They get back on the buses and go to a new field. In an interview, Susie says that she didn't know that so many people came to the missions. Yeah, like B/M didn't publicize this event to the hilt. We see medium-sized crowds cheering the arrival of the teams. In an interview, James says that they saw this inflatable, rectangular ring. Brian McBride calls for "captains from each team." Jamie steps up, wearing a ridiculous Afro wig. Why would he wear that? It's got to be pretty hot. Michelle explains that they're going to be playing "human foosball," where they are tied to ropes in the ring, and can only move side-to-side. You know, like foosball. In an interview, Rebecca says that it looks like "a sick human experiment." Brian McBride explains that the captains have to pick teams consisting of "three Road Rules, three Real World on each team, three girls, three guys on each team." Susie calls it "a horrible twist." Julie (now with red hair) says, "What the heck?" They keep explaining how the teams are scrambled up, like we couldn't get that from Brian McBride's explanation. Susie refers to it as being "stuck with the enemy." Yeah, unlike all of those times on the bus, when they were hanging out with the members of the other team.
The teams ask questions about the rules. McBride says that the first team to get three goals wins. They ask about prizes, and one of the women coaches says that they'll find out later. In an interview, Laterrian tells us again that they're "mixing up teams." James is one of the captains, and he picks Christian first. I never noticed how short Christian is before. Jamie picks Syrrhosis. In an interview, Rebecca compares it to picking teams in gym class, and says that they went with "the bulk, the brawn." James picks Dan as she says that. Ha! Rebecca ends up on James's team, and they get yellow jerseys. The other team gets black jerseys. I'm trying to figure out who is on which team, but it's impossible. I guess they'll tell us later. In an interview, James says that he feels bad about not picking Rebecca first, but it's "a physical game," and she sometimes likes to "take it easy." Okay, here are the teams. Team Yellow: James (captain), Emily, Julie, Rebecca, Christian, and Dan. Team Black: Jamie (captain), Laterrian, Susie, Kameelah, Michelle, and Syrrhosis. Well, at least Emily and Michelle aren't on the same team, so I'll be able to tell them apart. The team members get strapped onto the ropes. It looks like there are two people on each row -- one from each team. Not exactly how foosball works, but whatever.
After the ball is put into play, people kind of run around like maniacs and try to kick the ball. James is in goal for Team Yellow, and Jamie is in goal for Team Black. Does it make sense to have your strongest player in the goal? Maybe. James recovers the ball and tries to set it up to pass it to someone. He kicks it out, and Laterrian immediately returns it back into the goal, scoring a point for Team Black. Laterrian says that he's "using the flying crane technique," totally deadpan. James yells at Christian, saying that Laterrian is "pushing [him] around." Christian ignores him. Good for Christian. Kameelah scores a goal for her team, mostly because James came all the way out of the goal. Good one. Team Black is up two to one. In an interview, James compares the game to "youth soccer league," where everyone crowds around the ball and "suddenly it pops in a goal," and that person thinks he or she is a hero. He kind of has a point, but maybe he shouldn't come so far out of the goal. Also, it's kind of difficult not to crowd the ball when the playing field is so small. In an interview, Rebecca says that she has to shoot. James shouts encouragement to Rebecca. Someone makes a shot at the goal, and James dives for the save, and then scrambles to his feet and blocks another shot with his chin. In an interview, Rebecca says that she was impressed with his skills. They actually do an instant replay (complete with Instant Replay Graphic Del Fuego) of James blocking it with his chin. Dan and Syrrhosis battle it out as Jamie tries to recover the ball. He finally kicks it out, and it rebounds off Emily's leg and into the goal. In an interview, Emily says that Jamie kicked it as hard as he could, and she blocked it, and it went straight into the goal. We see another Instant Replay. Emily concludes, "Sure, I meant to do that." Heh.
The ref, who I think might be A.J. Benza, or perhaps his younger brother, tells us that the score is Yellow 1, Black 2. Christian switches with Dan so that he's closest to the goal, but he's also matched up with Syrrhosis, who weighs about twice as much as Christian. They trash talk a little bit. I hope Christian doesn't accidentally say something offensive. Dan and Laterrian push each other around. Well, actually, Laterrian pushes Dan around. A lot. In an interview, Dan says that he got to know what James was all about a little more from playing alongside him. We see James cheering Dan on. Rebecca says that the encouragement helps a lot. In an interview, Rebecca says that James "compensates for his insecurity socially with his complete ability physically," and that James bases his achievements on winning and losing, but she finds his "lack of assurance endearing." Susie boxes out Rebecca, and Rebecca says, "Crazy, man!" Hey, Susie came to play! Rebecca shoots it past Jamie for a goal, so now the score is tied at two. James yells out, "That's a goal, dude. That's a legitimate goal, baby!" Shut up, James. Oh, but no. In an interview, James says that if he knew that Rebecca was "the best girl out there," he would have chosen her first. Well, thanks, Captain Obvious. Moments later, Rebecca scores the winning goal for Team Yellow. They all hug. James says that he was "stoked for Rebecca."
It's time to award the prizes. Kameelah expositions (and she is apparently this season's Msaada) that they all lined up behind their own "personalized Nikes," but some of the shoes had envelopes in them. Brian McBride tells Team Yellow that they have "a little something extra in their shoes." They grab the envelopes and pull out money -- they each get $1000. I was wondering how they were going to work the prize thing. Laterrian says that is was "a stab to the heart, and to the wallet." What's with Laterrian deadpanning the jokes this week? He's almost…funny. James thanks the crowd for coming out. Heh.
Dan is talking to Rebecca on the bus about James, of course. Dan babbles about how James is respectful of Rebecca, and he's "not bad looking." Dan wants James so badly. Dan tells Rebecca that James wants something more from Rebecca, but he's happy to keep it where it is if that's what she wants. In an interview, Dan says that James is definitely "sexually attracted to her, but who wouldn't be? She's gorgeous, she's brilliant, she's funny." The shirt Dan was wearing in that interview? Belonged to James. I'm just saying. Dan continues to sing James's praises to Rebecca, who blushes. Dan tells Rebecca to "do what is right." In an interview, Rebecca says that James makes her happy, and maybe she should try. Can I just say that we barely saw her having doubts about the relationship in the first place? Stupid editing.
More cheesy sunset footage. God, what's up with that? James and Rebecca walk through a field together. James tells Rebecca that he's trying to change, but it's hard to do on the road. Rebecca says that "relationships are so intense," because of the exposure. In an interview, James says that he can learn a lot from Rebecca, and she's "different in the ways that I want to improve my life." James hands Rebecca a dandelion gone to seed, and they make wishes before blowing on them. James sure is doing a lot of blowing in this episode. In an interview, Rebecca says that James is different from her initial impression. She thought he was "fratty," but instead he "likes kids, and he's very sensitive, and he's religious." And gay.
The morning. Or is it? Laterrian tells Syrrhosis about some "lovebirds getting together." Syrrhosis has no idea who Laterrian is talking about. Seriously, is Syrrhosis on the same trip as the rest of them? Laterrian predicts that "some things are going to happen."
Okay, this sequence is very confusing to me. I don't understand what is going on. Kameelah says that she doesn't want to go to "the room" because she thinks that "something dirty is going on." The other girls scream. Cut to James in bed, and then waking up. Rebecca is in the shower. In an interview, James says that he and Rebecca "like hanging out together in an intimate way." In an interview, Rebecca says that it looked horrible. James says that he was in bed, and Rebecca was taking a shower. Rebecca is blushing. Back on the bus, Julie, Susie, and Kameelah decide to go to the room to take showers. Kameelah thinks it's "kind of scandalous" that no one can find a key. They set off across the parking lot, and encounter Rebecca coming back. Rebecca says that she was taking a shower, and Julie screams, "I knew it! I knew it!" Rebecca's all, "What?" and Kameelah tells her to walk away. Rebecca doesn't get it. Okay, so this is what I got out of that: the teams had one hotel room for all of them to share, and use its shower facilities. James slept there. Rebecca went to take a shower, and everyone started gossiping that maybe something more was going on. But Rebecca looked legitimately innocent -- I really don't think that anything happened. Yet. I don't know.
James and Rebecca cuddle on the bus. James says that love is "a gamble." In an interview, James says that Rebecca has "a peaceful zest to her." Is that like lemon zest? In an interview, Rebecca thinks that James is sweet and gentle, and that they make each other happy. An ovary sings, "Yours for the taking. Take me in your arms." We see the montage of James and Rebecca Hanging Out. The whole time, they kiss once. Not even on the lips. There's a lot of sleeping with James's head in Rebecca's lap. So scandalous! Although, since they are both veterans of these shows, I'm sure that they know how to hide from the cameras when they want to be alone.
week: the teams learn how to survive in a compartment on a submarine while it's flooding. There's a lot of water coming out of pipes. Oh, God. That would be my worst nightmare.