Previously on Challenge 2000: The Road Rules team won three missions in a row. David said, "Let's get paid. Let's stop losing. I don't want to lose anymore."
David is sitting in the baggage compartment of the bus. You'd think it would smell like exhaust in there. Maybe he inhaled a lot of carbon monoxide. At least that would explain his actions for the rest of the episode. He calls Kat over and tells her to "smell this." Obviously, Kat doesn't have any brothers, because if she did, she'd know that when a man calls you over to smell something, it's never going to turn out well. I guess David meant his cologne or something, because Kat smells his wrist. David tells us that he has known Kat for a year and a half, and that they were friends before going on the Challenge. Kat tries on David's cowboy hat and says they have a "solid friendship." David says he wouldn't mess up their friendship. Okay, so clearly they are going to get in a fight tonight.
Dan says that "Dave's a cool guy" and that David will talk about "beating up guys in his old neighborhood" and then switch gears and talk about how "some priest touched his soul the other night" and "everything about him is so intense." I got a little nervous with the sentence that started out "some priest touched his..." so I'm glad that ended well. David is sitting by the pool talking to Piggy, Veronica and Holly, and looking at a bridal magazine. Piggy says that David is cool because "he can hang with the guys but he can also connect with the chicks on many levels." David says his thick Boston accent makes people think he is stupid or a street thug. How long has it been since he lived in Boston, though? You'd think his accent would be a little less thick at this point. Veronica asks David if he knows what kind of tux he wants to wear when he gets married, and David says he does, and that he also wants an outdoor wedding in "early fall time in New England." David dives in the pool and then, apropos of nothing, tells Holly that she should marry Dan because they are "AA -- All American," and that they would have "the black Lab, the house." Piggy agrees. Holly just laughs. David tells us in an interview that Dan and Holly are like "sport Billy and sport Lily." Again, the whole Dan/Holly thing kind of came out of nowhere, didn't it?
Holly tells us that she and Dan have really connected while on their daily runs, and we see them preparing to go on a run, and then returning from one. Holly says she thinks they were meant to meet, since they have "the same sense of humor, the same taste in..." and fade to Dan saying, "music, same sense of humor." Wow, they are soulmates, since they said the same thing. Bunim Murray has convinced me. We see Holly on a pay phone telling her mom that Dan is "the sweetest boy [she's] ever met." Mike tells us that if anyone is going to hook up on this trip, it'll be Dan and Holly. Yes asks Dan if he has a girlfriend back home and Dan says he does, and that they have been going out for a year and a half. Dan tells us he is "nervous about his relationship with Holly," and he hopes it works out. The producers must have been really desperate for someone to hook up if this is the best they could do. As far as we know, these two haven't even kissed, and Dan seems to want to be faithful to his girlfriend. How boring!
Piggy tells us the teams are in Vero Beach, Florida and they are going to do "something swampy." Mike tells us that there are only four missions left, so his team has to get its act together. Yes thinks that if his team wins today, the RW team might "bawl like babies." On the bus, heading for the mission, Holly talks about "the breakup with the boyfriend that was so traumatic" to Dan and Veronica. Holly tells us that she is "very protected [sic] against getting hurt again," but that she trusts Dan.
The two teams arrive at a park for a "swamp buggy mission." Yes tells us it's going to be "wet, dirty and ugly," and that he's ready to race. Remember when I said that everything Yes says sounds like sex? Still applies here. David is all fired up to get into his swamp buggy, which is essentially a jacked-up Jeep. Some guy tells Yes that there are no brakes in the Jeeps, so you "have to gauge yourself." No brakes? Is that safe? I hope they wear seatbelts! Another guy tells Teck and Heather that the Jeeps turn over easily and can result in a broken arm, or getting pinned underwater. Heather tells us that they "do not do this in New York" and that she can't "drive a clutch." The head guy comes up and tells the RW team that each team member will have to drive a Jeep. Heather tells us that there's no way she will learn to drive a stick shift that quickly. We see a shot of her grinding the gears. I don't know what kind of mechanism they've got going there, but the gear shift is where your rear-view mirror would be in a normal car -- at the top center of the windshield. David comes over and tries to give her some pointers. He tells us that he's frustrated that Heather can't drive stick because "it's not that difficult." I will agree with him that it's not that difficult, but it takes more than thirty minutes to learn, in my experience. Especially when no one is giving her very good instruction. Teck tries to give her some more pointers, but she keeps stalling out. Heather tells us that David's attitude towards competition is "aggravating" to her, and childish.
Los and Veronica start driving the Jeep with no problem. Annoying is standing in a field, hunched over, and in a voice-over tells us that her "one problem with this mission" is that she ate some bad shrimp last night and is really sick. Because eating shellfish isn't against her religious beliefs, or anything. Maybe after the pigs' feet thing, she just figured she's going to hell anyway, so she might as well go whole hog (no pun intended). David says that it's funny, because Annoying's illnesses always happen around mission time. He says, "She'll be jamming all morning, but then come mission time, she's like 'Oh, I need an enema' or 'I have food poisoning.' I think around final mission time, she's going to come down with Hodgkin's Disease." Ha! And do you think Annoying really tells people she needs an enema? That was a visual I definitely did not need. Annoying walks around and looks pukey some more. David tells his team to make sure to just keep their foot on the gas pedal. Heather asks Annoying how she is, and Annoying says she doesn't want to talk about it. David tells her that "it's game time" and she needs to have "a killer instinct." David says that when he is in the Jeep with Kat, he might hold her foot down to the gas pedal. Kat tells him that he can give her instruction, but he has to let her make decisions while she is driving. Kat tells us that "when David is in competitive mode, he really, really [bleep] pisses me off." David says the reason his team does not win missions is "purely mental." As in, they're all mental?
The first heat involves keeping an inflatable alligator in your Jeep, and then relaying the alligator to another Jeep. As Dan explains, "It's like a relay race and the alligator is the baton." David tells his team that they have to be the ones to switch the alligator around. Yes tells someone to "floor it the whole time." The first leg is David vs. Dan, and they take off to the strains of Primus. This is the first time in a long time that I have actually recognized a song they played, because I'm old. The first leg is very close, but it all falls apart on the alligator relay. The RR team does a great job, and the RW team sucks. Los takes off for the RR team, but Teck is unable to get the alligator out of the RW jeep and into Annoying's Jeep. Then Annoying can't get her Jeep started. David says it's not cool to have people on your team who don't know how to drive stick and "things are not off to a good staaaaht."
Finally, Annoying gets going and the relay continues. At this point, the RW team is so far behind it really doesn't matter. David tells us that Annoying and Heather "don't know how to work the gears" while the RR team is "whizzing around the track." The RR team wins handily, and Yes tells us that "the key to winning is definitely teamwork, and we got it baby." You know Yes, instant karma's gonna get you. I get the feeling that Yes will get his comeuppance before the end of the season, since they show him gloating all the time. The score is RR 25, RW 0. Dan reminds his team that it was only one part. Yes gets all fired up about how great their co-operation was, and Dan reminds him again that they still have to win the rest of the parts. Over on the RW side, David points out that they lost it on the second leg of the relay (i.e. Annoying's leg), and Kat tries to get him to shut up, but then David finishes by saying they need to put it behind them. Heather tells everyone to hit her ass for luck. Everyone does. That was kind of strange.
The event is called "Swamp Fishing." Each team picks two people -- a driver and a fisher. The fisher has a net, and tries to scoop up as many rubber duckies and frogs as possible. The team with the most animals wins. Team members cannot get out of the Jeep and the Jeep cannot go backwards. Another rule that they don't mention, but that is on the official website (and will be important later on), is that the team can only go around the track one time. David tells his team it's time to perform.
As Van Halen's "Ain't Talking 'Bout Love" starts up, David and Kat go up against Yes and Holly. Hey, that's two songs I knew in one episode! The announcer says that the RW team could really do some catching up here. Heather gets all fired up when it looks like her team is doing well. The RR Jeep gets stuck in the swamp somehow, and Holly tells us that they "did something to the transmission" so they have to be towed. The RW team now has all the time in the world to fish out the animals. Suddenly, Kat turns around and starts driving the wrong way, back from whence they came. Heather starts yelling. The RR team yells that they are breaking the rules. So does Annoying. Dude, they're your own team! Why are you ratting them out? The announcer says that they broke a rule. I think what happened here is that they thought they were circumventing the rules because they didn't stop or go in reverse, but the broke the rule about only going through the course once.
Then, to add insult to injury, Kat drives right into the hole that stalled out the RR team. The Jeep stalls. David starts yelling at Kat that she has "a standahd caahhh" and reaching over and shifting for her. In an interview, he says he was thinking, "Kat. Kick it up a notch. Shut your mouth, put your foot on the ge-ahhh, start the caaaahhh and move. I don't want to hear you whining." Hey David, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw whiny stones. Kat keeps trying to start the Jeep. David yells at her that she took her foot off the gas and hits the dashboard. Kat protests that she didn't and then tells him it's "so hard not to hit [him] right now." Heather tells us she doesn't believe it. Kat and David finally arrive back. David thinks that some of the animals he picked up should count, but Mike and Annoying tell him that they were disqualified and none of their animals will count. Kat tells us that she doesn't "feel much like chatting right now." David is sitting in the Jeep, and Annoying goes up and tells him that she thinks the problem is that they're all taking it too seriously and no one is having fun. David tells her to "shut the [bleep] up and get the [bleep] out of here." Annoying says she isn't going to talk to him anymore, which is kind of what he asked her to do, isn't it? She clearly doesn't have any brothers either. I learned early on that when my brother lost a Little League game, steer clear of him for a good four hours. Of course, he was eight years old and David is in his twenties. But they act about the same.
The RR team got 15 points and the RW team got 0. Kat tells us that "part of liking yourself and treating yourself well" is not putting up with abuse. Heather tells us that David's military experience has a huge effect on his attitudes about competition because he's "always thinking 'kill, kill, kill'" and they just have to beat them. Yes tells us his team is feeding off the RW team's ill will.
The score is now RR 40, RW 0. The last race will have three heats. The RW team has to win all three heats to have a chance. The first heat is a blindfolded race, where the driver has a blindfold on and the passenger gives directions. The RW team chooses David and Kat, because they are getting along so well. David tells us he's going to step on the gas and follow Kat's directions and "pray to God we win." Holly and Yes step up for the RR team, with Yes driving and Holly navigating. As the beginning flag waves, David stalls the Jeep and Yes gets a big head start. David never does quite make up the difference, despite Heather's cheering. The RR team celebrates their win. David says he had the gas on all the way and "it wouldn't even move." Teck tells us there needs to be a change in his team's morale because no one wants to go home "empty-handed or broke."
The head guy calls for the teams to get into place. David tells them not to go, because there's no way his team can win overall. Heather tells him that they should do it anyway. Heather tells us that she had to walk away because she was so frustrated with David giving up and that even if they were behind by three hundred points, they should finish the match. Mike goes over and shakes the RR team members' hands. Mike just gained about a thousand points in my estimation for that show of sportsmanship. The announcer proclaims the RR team the winners. David walks by himself through a field and says, "After the mission, I'm feeling bitter. We lost and that's bottom line. I don't want to hear anything."
David apologizes to his teammates, since he feels like he lost it for them. This whole episode has been weirdly edited, but I really think this apology happened just after the "Swamp Fishing" heat. Anyway, he tells his team he should "write [them] a check for the 10 G's because [he] just lost it for [them]." No one really acknowledges his apology. Kat tells us that David is a born competitor and he needs to stay calm. David tells us that he gets impatient and that "when someone can't react under pressure, you can't get mad at them, and I'm sorry."
There is a trophy ceremony where the RR team is presented with actual trophies along with their ten thousand E*Trade dollars. Mike tells us he hates losing more than anything. Yes gets on the microphone and thanks the crowd for their support. Piggy takes a picture of Dan and Holly, and they are really cute together. Mike says his team is depressed about losing, so they are going to "pig out." He also says it's time to put the plan in action. David says he's sick of losing and since the RR team got "that little horn," they've been winning. David goes into the RR luggage compartment and steals the cow skull. He hides it in the shower on his own bus. Don't they ever shower? Is that really the best place to hide it?
Dan claims to have lost his virginity to his first girlfriend at 21, and he is 22 now. Note that he clarifies, "Like, real intercourse?" A lot of people on the forums pointed out that Dan claimed on his RR season, that he and Tara "did it," but maybe they didn't have intercourse. That's my guess, anyway. But does that mean he got back together with the girlfriend he had before going on Northern Trail? I need a timeline of Dan's romantic past to sort this out. Holly says she admires how much Dan cares about his girlfriend.
Piggy tells us that Sister Hazel is giving a concert, and they all decide to go. Dan, Holly, Piggy, Veronica and Teck end up on stage singing backup vocals. This must be where they got that "Holly dancing" scene from the opening credits. One of the women is singing really, really off-key. I think it's Holly, but it's hard to say since they are all sharing a mike. Teck tells us that Dan is a good guy, but that his situation prevents him from being with Holly "the way that he might like to." Holly tells us that she and Dan have "a soul connection." Dan says he has a girlfriend who he loves very much "and it's tough." Holly cries while a Macy Gray song starts up in the background and we see a montage of Dan/Holly together clips. Holly says that "soulmates don't always end up together," but that she and Dan have a connection. Holly sits with her head in her hands at a picnic table while the song continues to play. Yeah, this relationship kind of came out of nowhere. I think the producers realized the season is nearly over and they haven't had any hookups, so they had to manufacture something.
week: Mike and David want to play a joke on the RR team. Los isn't connecting with his teammates. Veronica tells Los that his humor is inappropriate and she has zero tolerance for it.
Over the credits, David and Mike discuss Kat's fear of clowns. It seems her father told her that Ronald McDonald is "a bad clown. He takes kids and eats them." Well, can you blame her for being scared after that?