Due to the breakdown of the Winnie at the end of the episode, both teams are now traveling on the bus. Noah and Beth explain that they are headed to the Hollywood YMCA, but that they don't know what their mission will be. Nathan and Janet point out that the first two missions haven't even been close. Nathan says that his team gets "ji-yammed," which must be Nate-speak for "jammed." Neil wonders why he agreed to come, since so far he has been dressed up in a roller derby outfit, dressed up as "a gay Village People cowboy," and made to push a bed. Neil would like to go home and forget this ever happened. However, thanks to MTV's policy of rerunning these shows to death, no one will ever forget Neil's road trip across America.
The teams arrive at the Hollywood YMCA, and are greeted by some guy who doesn't even merit the Hip, Squiggly Font of Character Introduction. The men and women split up to go into their respective locker rooms, where they find basketball jerseys with their names on them. The guys are all excited, except Neil, who says, "Oh, bugger." Heh. Jason and Neil flex in a mirror, and their biceps, combined, are about half as big as Kefla's.
The teams walk out onto the basketball court to find Kobe Bryant and Reggie Miller shooting some hoops. Roni starts jumping around. Nathan does the biggest hick expression of surprise I've ever seen -- his jaw literally drops open and stays there. In an interview, Noah says that Kefla wanted to play basketball with them, but Roni just wanted to sit on their laps for the afternoon. Well, would he rather Kefla sit on their laps? Kefla's big. He might hurt them and jeopardize their NBA careers.
Reggie Miller asks which team chose the "Japanese Pacer" envelope in the last episode. It was Road Rules, and it means that they get to play basketball against Reggie and Kobe. The Real World team, on the other hand, gets to wash Kobe Bryant's dogs. They all cheer and jump around. A woman brings out Kobe's dogs, and there must be seven of them. Well, I guess he can afford it. They range in size from a Great Dane to a Dachshund. Aw, the dogs are cute. I would totally want the dog-washing mission. In an interview, Neil says that they are pleased to be washing dogs, which may sound strange, but they've been through a lot. I guess washing dogs will tax the intellectual resources they've been telling us about so much. Nathan watches the other team joke around with the NBA players and turns away, disappointed.
Some unidentified woman tells the Real World team that they have to groom the dogs, and that if the dogs look "extra, extra cute," the Real World team will get to stay in a suite tonight. In an interview, Beth says that, for a nice hotel room, she'll make the dogs the cleanest that they've ever been. Jason tells Nathan that he'd rather wash the dogs than play basketball, and that he didn't even know who Reggie Miller was. Montana asks on what team they play. Nathan is disgusted with his teammates, and disappointed that he doesn't get to play with the pros.
The Real World team take the dogs to a dog washing place. Meanwhile, the Road Rules team is learning the terms of their basketball game. Kobe announces that they have a guest referee -- and out walks Syrus from The Real World Boston, wearing a striped shirt. Syrus explains that every time the Road Rules team gets a basket, it's worth $20. Every time Kobe and Reggie get a basket, it's worth $10. Each basket is worth one point, and they are playing to twenty. Reggie and Kobe tell the cameras that they aren't going to show the Road Rules team any mercy, and it will be funny.
Neil and Janet wash their dogs. Nathan finds out that his dog has fleas. Kobe Bryant's dog has fleas? Damn! Back at the YMCA, Reggie and Kobe quickly rack up two baskets. Reggie takes a shot from way out, and it misses. Mark grabs the rebound and pops it out to Kefla, who shoots one from what would be three-point-land and drops it. Hey, I knew my years of doing stats for my high school's basketball team would come in handy some day! Mark banks in a shot off the glass to tie the score at two. Keep in mind that all six Road Rules team members are on the court, playing against the two NBA players.
The Real World team wash their dogs. Apparently, the dogs are quite dirty. Back at the YMCA, Noah nails a jump shot. Kobe tells the camera that he and Reggie have to communicate a little bit more. Yeah, like the editors didn't tell them not to make it a blowout so that they could stretch the game out for an entire episode. Kefla goes up for a jump shot from outside, and Kobe slaps it into the bleachers. Kobe hits Reggie on an alley-oop. I think the tide is turning. In an interview, Anne (remember her?) says that their goal is just to break even in terms of money. Based on the number of baskets Kobe and Reggie are getting, I don't know if that's going to happen. Kalle tells the camera that she hates playing and watching basketball, that she doesn't know who these guys (Kobe and Reggie) are, and that she would rather be washing a dog.
The Real World team members tie bandannas and ribbons around the dog's necks. In an interview, Nathan says that he wants to get back early to meet Kobe and Reggie and get their autographs.
This is the dumbest scene ever. The basketball game is over, and the Road Rules team owes Kobe and Reggie $40. Kobe and Reggie pretend like they are giving the Road Rules team time to discuss how they are going to pay their debts, and walk off to the side. The Road Rules team takes off out of the gym. Get it? They're running away from their debt? I'm so sure that was completely spontaneous and not planned ahead of time. The only funny part of the whole scene is at the end, when Kobe looks at the camera and says that he's not worried about it because "[he's] from Philadelphia [and they] track people down." Outside, Kefla tells the camera that they aren't going to pay, and then runs away. Spare me.
The Road Rules team walks back into the gym. Mark hands Kobe fifty dollars, telling him to take the extra ten and buy himself something nice. In an interview, Kefla says that he thought Kobe would give the money back, but he pocketed it. Like Kobe Bryant needs that fifty. Of course, the Road Rules team would just spend it on booze or something. The Real World team walks in with all of the dogs on leashes. Montana sees Syrus; she starts freaking out and gives him a big hug. In an interview, Nathan says that he and Kobe hit it off, and that Kobe was asking him questions about Stephanie. Okay, that's kind of funny. Who knew Kobe Bryant was a Real World Seattle fan? Nathan tells Kobe that he and Stephanie are "taking a little break right now." Syrus compliments Jason's platinum blond hair. Kobe gives Nathan the money for washing the dogs, as well as the information about their hotel suite.
The teammates listen to a tape of their clue, which is completely unintelligible to me. All I got was the last line, which said, "Hold your breath!" Everyone immediately guesses that they will have to go underwater. Neil guesses that they are going diving.
In an interview, Nathan tells us that his team invited the Road Rules team into their suite, because it was so big. Janet walks around the suite, raving about how nice it is. Jason says that they are going to "party hearty tonight." Shut up, Jason. I guess part of the suite was free hair gel, because then there is a montage of everyone putting eight tons of gel in his or her hair. The boys all look like Elvis. Janet teases her hair way out, and actually looks a little bit like Malik. For some reason, the guys put on makeup. Is this what Jason meant by "party hearty"? They all take Polaroids of each other.
Roni starts yelling out the window to Kefla, who is standing out on the sidewalk by himself. In an interview, Roni explains that Kefla has a friend in L.A., and that the three of them are going to some club together. Roni and Kefla dance at the club, and for once on a B/M show, they aren't the only people on the dance floor.
Back at the suite, Montana sings and dances with a bottle of wine in her hand. Ooh, we all know what happens when Montana gets near wine. Noah (rudely) says that he doesn't think Montana's pants are flattering. They are black capri pants, which she is wearing with a men's white button-down shirt. I think she looks fine. Very Mia Wallace. Montana tells Noah that she might have to get braces and look like a thirteen-year-old, in order to fit into Noah's tastes and mental capacity. Burn! In an interview, Montana says that Noah "objectifies women, in a sense," and that he is young and insecure. Noah and Montana start wrestling. In an interview, Noah says that Montana has "a very feisty nature." They continue wrestling on the floor, and Nathan pops up in an interview to say something about sexual tension. Noah gives Montana a wedgie and rips her underwear. Montana takes it a lot more calmly than I would, but I guess the wine helps. Montana, in turn, rips off Noah's wifebeater. Noah yells out that he hates feminists as the others watch them wrestle. Janet is horrified. Nathan cheers Montana on. Jason and Kalle giggle.
At the club, Roni and Kefla dance together. Roni says that it's a day she will never forget.
Back in the hotel, Montana tells Noah that she'll stop if he will promise to think before he makes any more sexist remarks. In an interview, Montana says that there's a part of her that really likes Noah (which I surmise is her vagina) and a part of her that doesn't (which I surmise is her brain). Noah is suddenly looking very stoned as he asks Montana whether they can hug and be friends. Montana voice-overs that she thinks she will really like Noah in about five years.
The bus arrives at a lake and get on a boat. Some unidentified guy tells them that they are in for "chaos and mayhem." I hate that guy already. In an interview, Neil says that he hopes it's not another physical mission. I know it sounds like Neil is being really whiny, and I don't know if it's the accent or what, but he actually comes off as very droll. Sure, he probably should have realized how physical the missions would be, but he probably saw it as an opportunity to have some fun and make some money. And win a free trip in the United States.
Tool, which is what I'm going to call the unidentified mission mayor, asks what the team members want to do, as if that matters. Some of them guess that they will be water-skiing, since they're on a boat on a lake. Suddenly, they come around a corner and see a huge crane. Tool asks whether they are ready to do "some serious, serious bungee-jumping?" Nathan, Mark, and Jason are excited. Tool tells them that they've never had an accident or an injury. Montana makes up some story her chiropractor told her about bungee-jumping causing injuries. In an interview, Beth says that the harnesses go around the ankle, so she's not happy. Oh, yeah. I forgot about her ankle "injury," which was totally not a factor until they reached a mission she doesn't want to do. Beth sucks.
Nathan decides that everyone is doing it, but Neil says that he's not. Tool explains that they each get one jump, from seven and a half stories up on the crane, bound by the ankles. They have to try to pick up foam rings floating on the water. The team with the most rings gathered at the end wins. Noah asks whether everyone has to jump. Tool says that everyone does not have to jump, but that you can't assign someone to go in your place, so that means the team's potential maximum rings gathered will be lessened. Tool asks whether everyone is jumping. Beth says that she is not. Nathan asks her to think about her team. Beth asks Tool how her "sprained" ankle will be affected. Tool says that they have done one-legged jumps for stunt work. Okay, but do you really think that Beth is capable of doing something that only stunt people have done until now? In an interview, Beth admits that she is afraid, as well as worried about her ankle. Montana is also very frightened, and nearly crying. Nathan hugs her. Jason asks her whether she's going to do it, and she says that she doesn't know yet, and sniffles.
Nathan has decided to go first. He goes up in the elevator thing to jump from seventy-two feet. Janet is more nervous than Nate is, and says that she doesn't know why, since she jumped out of a plane. The others count down for Nate's jump. Nate manages to get two rings. Mark is up . Tool gives him some last-minute instructions. Mark grabs two rings as well, so the score is tied.
Kefla is up . In an interview, Kefla says that he's "totally afraid." Tool makes Kefla hold out his hand, and it's shaking like a maraca at a Ricky Martin concert. Kefla crosses himself and jumps, grabbing two rings. The Road Rules team is ahead four to two. In an interview, Neil realizes that if he drops out, his team will lose. Jason goes up to jump, and tells Tool that he has to go and get two, because they've lost every other mission. Jason only gets one. In an interview, Jason says that it was "absolute pure terror," and that he'd do it again. The Road Rules team leads four to three.
It's Roni's turn. In an interview, Kefla says that Roni will "step up to the challenge." Aw. I wish they would spend more time on the Kefla/Roni relationship and less time on any other relationship from this mission. Roni doesn't appear at all nervous, but she twists a bunch of times on the way down, and doesn't get any rings. Montana asks Beth what she's thinking. Beth says that she'll see what the score is. In an interview, Neil says that he thought they were going to lose, because "Montana was actually crying with the horror of it, and Beth was...being Beth."
Neil gets strapped in and goes up the elevator. He yells to Jason that he doesn't like it and wants to go him. Tool tells Neil that he's having fun, and Neil says that he's actually not. Beth yells out, "Go get some rings so I don't have to go." Shut UP, Beth! Neil steps out onto the platform and then steps back. Jason yells that he should "do it for Gavin" -- a plastic, inflatable sheep. Nathan holds up Gavin so that Neil can see him. Tool tells Neil that he's a "machine in motion." Everyone counts down and Neil jumps, grabbing one ring. In an interview, Nathan says that Neil claimed he would never bungee-jump, but that he did, and that it says a lot about who he is. Someone who goes back on his word? As Neil dangles upside down, he says, "That was the most horrible thing I've ever done in my life." Heh. The score is now tied, four all.
It's Janet's turn. In an interview, Janet says that she was starting to feel tingly. Janet asks Tool whether anyone has ever passed out. Kalle thinks that Janet won't do it. In the elevator, Janet says that she can't breathe, or feel her hands. Her hands have cramped into this weird claw shape. Janet says that she doesn't know if she can do it. Hey, it's a cliffhanger!