Previously, on The Practice: Oh! Babies! Ellenor announces she is pregnant. Lucy enlists as a rape counselor and finds herself unable to cope when she actually has to help a victim. Rebecca gives her a pep talk. The victim comes on over to The Firm and lets Lucy know that without her help she never would have made it through. Aw. Not. Oh, and the office explodes. Kapow! Mrs. Washington refuses Rebecca a blood transfusion that might save her life. Bobby and Lindsay give birth.
The Hospital of Uncertain Amounts of Pain. A tubed-up Rebecca lies unconscious. Machines bleep. CCH Pounder is right by her side. The Emperor Rod walks in carting Prince Bobby, the Wonderful Baby. Mrs. Washington coos at the sight of him. Okay, for a premature baby, this child is huge. Massive. Larger than any baby I've ever seen in my life. The pair make conversation about how gorgeous the baby is, about how much he's grown, and then Rod walks around the side of the bed with the baby, mumbling, "Hey, Bec? They let me in here with little Bobby." Okay, that child is at least three feet long. Mrs. Washington tells Rod that Rebecca's neurological responses are improving. The swelling in her brain is almost completely subsided. Bobby says gruffly, "Three days." He shakes his head back and forth, because his hands are full with fifty pounds of baby: "Enough is enough." Things beep. Machines flash, but even the forceful insistence of an Emperor can't wake Rebecca from her coma.
Hellenor's. Ellenor is entertaining Ted McGinley. They are looking at some terrible examples of photojournalism. The two make pleasant conversation. So, from the National Geographic rip-offs, we're supposed to discern that Michael, Ellenor's friend, is a photographer. Got it. So, Ted, fresh from an earlier career as a photographer on The Love Boat, is now making an appearance as a photographer here, on The Practice. Now, should we assume DEK's trying to be funny, or is he just lazy? I'm going to go with "lazy and uninventive" rather than "ironic and postmodern." Oh, and don't show me any more of those horrible pictures. Thanks. Ellenor is kind of giddy. It's cute. She looks very pregnant. Over on the table to the fireplace is a folder, which Ellenor picks up and brings back to the couch. "This is what I call an amazing picture!" she exclaims as she brings out a picture of her ultrasound. Oh, cute. I love those ultrasound pictures. Honest. I'm not kidding. The two of them wonder at the amazement of the miracle of birth for an instant. Ellenor's grin splits her face in half. Still staring at the picture, she says, "You helped make that! Can you believe it?" Yeah, Ted's not so impressed; he looks a little sad and concerned. I can't help but think his horrible wife Marcy is waiting outside, ready to throttle him. He puts his portfolio and the picture down: "That's what I came to talk to you about, Ellener." Yes, he says "Ellener." Like he's Jed Clampett or something, chewing on a piece of field grass and farting. He's not sure he can stick to the "deal." Pardon? Man, he wants to help parent the baby. The Symphony of Single Mothers Who Want To Stay That Way salutes Ellenor's anger as she insists they have a signed, sealed and delivered contract. He's a donor, not a father. Well, his lawyer thinks that he can get around the contract. She fumes, "You've been to a lawyer?" Jerk. Twinkle. Twinkle. The piano insists he speak up for a minute: "It's one thing, to -- but to have a baby." She interrupts, "You don't have a baby, Michael. I have a baby. You provided sperm." Major McGinley McJerk doesn't want "her" to grow up without a father. Hey, if he's feeling left out of the whole "parenthood" aspect in his life, he can just go buy a baby from the same place Calista Flockheart did. They seem to overlook the whole "able to feed yourself" aspect of motherhood and just hand you over an infant. Their standards might be forgiving of you, you photographer you.
I would rather be eaten alive by Jaws then have to sit through this theme music.
The Reconstructed Firm. After replacing The Firm with the carbon copy they keep stored in Studio B, things are pretty much back to normal. Someone is pacing: Ellenor. Someone is screaming: Ellenor. And someone is indignant: Lucy. "He changed his mind?" Yup. While doing her best impression of the Emperor by waving her hands around like a flag marshal, Ellenor rants on about their having a contract and Michael having already been to see a lawyer. For once, it's Bobby telling Ellenor to calm down instead of the other way around. Rod asks who "is this guy anyway?" Well, he's a successful photographer, duh, and he's an old friend. Little Lucy quips: "Friends like friends?" It wasn't a romantic relationship. His involvement with the pregnancy is "genetic." They have a signed agreement that terminates all of his rights as a father, but now Michael wants to go to court and have their contract voided. Jimmy "The Lump" Berluti wants to know when the hearing is scheduled. She doesn't know. Jimmy jumps right in to help Ellenor: "Okay. I'll see if I can get his lawyer to come in here before he goes into court." You know, it gets "complicated" once they get a judge involved. Now, here's a question for you: why is it when any member of The Firm starts having a trial of their own, they have no freaking idea about the law or how it works? Huh? Of course Ellenor KNOWS it's complicated. See, there's this thing called a "hearing" -- it's what happens when two people can't get "along." Having been to LAW SCHOOL and everything, you'd think Ellenor would just smack Jimmy upside the head for being so patronizing, but instead, she cries, "I can't believe he's doing this." Her eyes well up with tears: "We have a deal!" At the very instant Ellenor's tears are about to run right down her face and swell into a puddle on the floor, Little Lucy's rape-crisis pager goes off. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The Hospital, Where People Are In Pain. A much more mature, even composed rape-crisis-center counselor approaches the information desk. She's even wearing a badge. Ha! Not. It's just Little Lucy playing grown-up. She asks for Amanda McGowan. The nurse wants to know who she is. Little Lucy replies that she's from the rape-crisis center, and is pointed down the hall and to the left. In the hospital room, a doctor turns around and, again, wants to know who she is, and again Lucy explains she's from the rape-crisis center. You'd think that someone in that hospital would know that when a woman is raped, they send a representative from the rape-crisis center, just for my sanity so I don't have to keep typing "Who are you" and "rape-crisis counselor." The doctor says he's already done the rape kit, but now he needs to go and talk to the father. Please lord, let it be Shane McGowan from The Pogues, and don't let him drink himself to death until I get there. Thanks. Lucy puts her bags down, starts explaining -- she's, yawn, from the rape-crisis center. As she turns around, the Song of Solemn Sightings falls out of Little Lucy's open mouth. Damn, the victim is just a little girl. Lucy asks, "How old are you?" The little girl holds the blue hospital sheets up around her chin and responds, "Eleven." Oh. The. Drama.
Upstairs. The Hospital of Far-Reaching Pain. Helaine looks up to a very casually dressed, shockingly handsome Eugene and says, "She's been gone for over three hours. They're usually back here in an hour." He goes and checks with the nurse sitting at the big I.C.U. counter. The nurse looks surprised when Eugene mentions that Rebecca went down for a test several hours ago and has yet to be returned to her room. What? The nurse picks up the phone and calls some mysterious person who might know where Rebecca has gotten to. Firstly, they would have noticed if Rebecca had been gone for longer than an hour. When you are in the I.C.U., they check your vitals every freaking hour. Secondly, a doctor or somebody would have happened by to do rounds. Thirdly, someone, somewhere would have noticed she wasn't in her room, for heaven's sake; it's made of glass. Well, apparently, she had her test, and no, she is not in her room. Then nurse asks the mysterious person on the phone to call patient escorts. The nurse STANDS up and looks to make sure Rebecca isn't in her room for the THIRD time. In short, they've lost her. That's correct. They lost Rebecca in the Terrible, Horrible, Hallowed Hallway of Pain.
The Firm. Let's remind everyone that the building blew up three days ago. Everything, and I mean, everything, down to the fancy moulding on the wall, is back to normal. In the immortal words of Cher Horowitz, "Like. Whatever." Michael, his lawyer, Ellenor, and The Lump are in the conference room. I'll bet you can't even smell the paint because The Firm never really blew up. Michael fully intended to go through with their deal. Ellie asks what's changed. He states, "Circumstances." How? Blah baby blah before he was thinking in terms of genetics, blah birthing blah in terms of sperm and egg, blah embryo blah then it becomes a person. Um, Ellenor interjects, "The idea was for it to become a person, Michael." Only her tone is really snotty. I can't really describe how snotty it actually is, but…it's really, really snotty. Like "government official never trained in the art of customer service" snotty. Blah it'll be my baby dee, no it won't blah, yes it will, no it won't. Michael's lawyer stops them from bickering: "Look. No one here wants to turn this into a big mess." Ellenor: "Well, that's exactly what your client is doing." Jimmy puts his hand on Ellenor's arm and chastises her for being so darn emotional. Michael's lawyer continues; they are looking for paternity, then joint custody. Ellenor jumps back in: "Absolutely not. I will not have my child raised in a split environment pulling her in two." McGinley cracks, "I'm here." And I think he's about to burst into a Barry White song DEK usually makes people dance to on Ally McBeal, but he just continues, "Right now. Trying to avoid going to court." She shuts him down. Essentially, they're going to court because there is no way in hell Ellie's going to give this photographer joint custody. He gives her the stink-eye. There is an awkward pause. Michael's lawyer, Ms. Garrett, offers to leave the room so Ellenor and her "Sperm Man" can work it out. Nope. No way. Again Michael insists he's not looking for a battle, or a battleship, maybe just The Love Boat, soon he'll be making another run -- oops, wrong show. The Single Mother's Symphony rises up to support Ellenor in its sisterhood. Some threats are made about having a "great fight" on their hands, and the adversaries leave the conference room. Jimmy turns to his weepy co-worker and says, "We may not win, Ellenor." Blah case law blah, the law in Massachusetts is untested, blah who cares blah, we're about to test it, blah dee blah maybe you should agree to some limited custody blah, no way, no how, not going to happen, we have a contract. But what if that contract doesn't hold up? Oh, good question, Jimmy; now shut up and just do what Ellenor wants you to do.
Breathe. Just relax. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. Count to ten. Squeeze my hand. Oh, right, no one's giving birth. We're just waiting for the end of commercials.
Ellenor "Kramer" Frutt is sitting horizontally across from Ted "Vs. Kramer" McGinley as their respective representatives make arguments regarding their contract in front of Judge Wilcox. He asks if Ms. Garrett is suggesting that their agreement was not valid. She responds that Michael "I Can Make A Baby?" Hale had no idea what he was giving up. He simply made a mistake. This contract violates public policy, something about the legal workings of adoption; she points her fingers to the left like she's a Watusi girl on tour with Tina Turner and blathers on about the law not wanting parents to be signing away their rights before they know what's really at stake. Jimmy says Michael knew what he was doing. Ms. Garrett turns back: "How can you make that claim?" Um, because he executed a contract, that's how. Blah dee blah we're talking about a child, blah dee blah his daughter will come to him one day, blah dee blah she'll want to know why she didn't have a father. Wow. You'd think this was five years ago and I was watching Dan Quayle argue with Murphy Brown. How narrow-minded are these people, honestly? The judge wants to hear from both parties. Now, just what did they think they were agreeing to?
Just Outside The Courtroom Of Excruciating Pain. Jimmy! Ellenor is M.A.D. She's so mad she pulls a Lindsay, tells him he performed horribly, blathers on about how a contract is clear on its face and that you don't go behind it to explore the intent. She yells, "There was nothing ambiguous in the language and you should have been screaming that!" He interrupts her: "Ellenor. This isn't an ordinary contract." She hisses that it is. He retorts, "If you believe that, you're not thinking clearly." The judge is taking into account the best interests of the child. Ellenor crosses her arms in front of her, swinging them in time to the Fury of Ferocious Ex-Friends: "Fine. Then I want to go after Michael as unfit." What does she know? This is going to get very, very juicy, just you wait and see.
The Hospital Of Missing-In-Action Pain. For some reason, the Emperor Rod has seen fit to get himself involved in the whole ridiculous "where's Rebecca" plotline. How do you lose a patient? Honestly, for once that's actually a good question coming from Rod. It's possible she could have been brought to another patient's room whose name is also Washington. They're checking on that. Eugene asks what about the other possibilities. Rebecca could have regained consciousness, become disoriented, and started wandering around the building. Don't worry, though, they're checking on that too. Bobby asks if she'd be strong enough to do that? The doctor says she'd be weak, but she didn't actually sustain any injuries that would have prevented her from becoming ambulatory. Except that last week she was about to die -- do you think that would interfere with being ambulatory? Some bouncy woman who looks like Florence Henderson arrives on the scene. She's from patient relations. This infuriates Helaine. She screams something about the hospital losing Rebecca and then having the gall to send someone from customer service to placate her: "You have lost my daughter who is in a coma!" Honestly, I don't know how CCH Pounder kept a straight face for that line. Eugene notices the doctor and the I.C.U. nurse whispering and wants to know what the heck they're talking about. There is another patient, one who's name is also Washington, who is currently in surgery -- having her kidney removed. Anyone else feeling like The Three Stooges have infiltrated DEK's brain?
The Other Hospital Of Consequential Pain. Helen "Ice, Ice Baby" Gamble struts into the room where Lucy is "helping" the young rape victim. The DA of the Walking Dead asks how Amanda is doing. The child responds that she's doing okay. In her best "rape counselor" slash "teacher's pet" voice, Lucy explains that Helen is a District Attorney, and she's going to "get" the guy who raped Amanda. You know, Helen is just so condescending when she's speaking to children: "I heard you talked to the police? Can I speak to you too?" I know we're supposed to believe she's empathetic, but I just end up feeling like I need to take a bath in acid to wash the slime off my skin. Helen patronizes, "Would it be okay if I asked you some questions?" Lucy assures the young girl that Helen is there to help. That's a good thing, because the girl might have mistaken the DA for the Angel of Death with her dark hair, deep navy suit, and scepter. Oh, I'm sorry, am I vilifying Helen? Right, she's not the bad guy; the sick disgusting excuse for a man who raped an eleven-year-old girl is the enemy, and they've caught him. But Helen was hoping Amanda could look at a police line-up. The girl asks, "What's that?" Yeah, you're telling me this kid's never seen Cops or America's Most Wanted? What freaking ever. Helen gives the kindergarten definition of a line-up. Amanda balks; she doesn't want to see him. Lucy jumps in, asking to talk to the DA alone, and then they move aside to discuss what's up. "Does she have to?" Helen answers, "The rape kit turned up nothing. No semen. No DNA. This whole case comes down to eyewitness testimony." First of all, shouldn't the kid's freaking parent be there with Lucy and Helen? Second of all, when did Lucy become a lawyer instead of a nubile, barely twenty-year-old receptionist slash "counselor" to rape victims? Lucy: "So what, it'll be her word against his?" No. There's another eyewitness, a woman who saw the crime from her balcony. Well, can't you just arrest on that? Again, where are the girl's FATHER or MOTHER? And why is the DA going over her case with Lucy, who is neither a LAWYER nor a COP? Yeah, and Helen's hair would look nice if it wasn't straw. Any. Way. Blah dee blah the case is better if the girl participates in a line up, blah dee blah she's more likely to identify him at trial, blah dee blah and I quote Lucy: "I don't think she's strong enough emotionally to see him." How do these actors keep a straight face? Honestly, tell me how. In the end, Helen forgoes the line up by saying she'll push it through arraignment and see how it goes. Then we pause on a full body shot of young Amanda lying in her hospital bed, looking alarmingly similar to Rebecca.
The Courthouse of Non-Kim Vs. Non-Alec. Oh, sure, Ted McGinley, it was your job as a photojournalist that kept your life busy and productive, and not the large vessel commanded by Captain Stubing -- right. Michael was always leaving for Bosnia or Vietnam but never for Hawaii or the Dominican Republic -- right. He never considered having a family. Ms. Garrett steps up: "Until Ms. Frutt asked for your help." He knew she wanted to have a baby: "When she asked me to be the donor it just felt right. And I knew how great she'd be with a child." Yadda blah if he could do that blah, give her that chance blah, how could that be wrong. Ms. Garrett: "You signed an agreement relinquishing your rights to this child." He made a mistake. He wanted it to work. But this isn't some abstract gift he can give; this is his child and she deserves to grow up with the love of her father. His brows are furrowed like little anthills. It's Jimmy's turn at bat. So, now you want the court to disregard your intent? Michael: "I'm asking that my current intent be given more weight since it serves the best interest of this child." Then Jimmy drops the bomb: "Let's consider the interests of your son, Mr. Hale. The one who is seven years old." Damn. That is a juicy tidbit. Jimmy is not only batting, but he's playing hardball. The judge asks after the son. Mr. Hale? The camera pauses on Ellenor giving Michael a record stink-eye. He was young, he responds; he wasn't ready to act like a father. Now you are? Yes. Are you being a father to this seven-year-old boy? Michael reluctantly admits that he's not. Jimmy wants to know why not. Garrett objects. The judge overrules. Michael makes some pale excuse, blah he lost the chance to be a father to his son, dee, he can't walk up to a seven-year-old kid and introduce himself, blah. Apparently, this time it's different; he'll be there from the beginning, despite the fact that he told Ellenor he could never be responsible enough to raise a child. To be fair, people do change and mature. Jimmy wants to know if breaking a contract is a sign of his maturity. Now, I don't quite understand this line of questioning. The Lump badgers Michael "Sperm Spreader" Hale for a while longer about his failure as a parent. Then he plays the "pregnancy" card -- bad Michael for putting an eight-months-pregnant Ellenor in distress. Jimmy attacks his lifestyle; Michael claims he'll adjust. Then they establish the fact that Ted's getting some booty from a twenty-year-old "girlfriend." You can hear his case cracking and then splitting like ice after the spring thaw. And to top it all off, Ted smokes some of that demon weed, marijuana, the "dope"; to quote one of my favourite movies, Dogma, he occasionally "rocks the ganj!" Dude. On his off time. In fact, he was convicted of possession. But, he claims, the drugs were for "recreational" use only -- please tell me, for forty-year-old "photojournalists," is there any other use for la pot? On the facts, a pot-smoking, world-traveling, semi-cool dad doesn't seem all that bad for Ellenor's baby. I know, they've got a contract, don't worry, we're moving on…hey, while you're at it, why don't you pass the duchy on the left hand side. Dude.
The Hospital Of The Missing Patients. A doctor scuttles up to the pack of Rebecca lovers and informs them she's still got both her kidneys. Heh. No one thinks his joke is funny except me. I'm rolling in the aisles. Mrs. Washington wants to know if they've ever lost a patient before. The doctor says it's unusual, but it has happened. Bobby wants to know who the heck had her after the CAT scan. Well, that fellow finished work at noon, and no one's been able to find him since. Eugene rolls his eyes. The doctor makes some faint excuses whereby he ass
ures them that Rebecca is somewhere in the building and that they'll find her. Okay, my cousin, after having a horrible car accident that almost killed him, woke up from his coma, pulled out his IVs, and started to get up to leave the hospital. About SEVENTEEN nurses were on him before he could even take a step. I'm just saying it's about as likely they'd lose an I.C.U. patient as it is that California is actually going to drop off into the Pacific Ocean.
The Maternity Ward Of Crying-Baby Pain. There are fake parents clamouring around their fake babies. The camera pans into a room where a very peaceful Rebecca rests.
The Courthouse Of Ellenor's Contractual Pain. Michael bursts into the waiting room with Jay and Silent Bob. Okay, maybe he leaves them outside because they'd be too much of a distraction. Jimmy gets up to shield Ellenor from this evil man causing her distress in her final moments of pregnancy. Damn him, evil man. Michael is snide: "Is nothing beneath you?" Jimmy reminds Michael that counsel represents him, and this loosely translates to "Shut up, you evil pot-smoking photojournalist dude." Michael rips into Ellenor: "We've been maybe best friends for most of our adult lives and you come at me like that for what? Legal strategy?" Ellenor rebuts; she's protecting her daughter from an evil pot-smoking photojournalist dude. Oh, I shudder to think of the influence. The Symphony of Single Mothers rises up to the right of Ellenor. Michael threatens his ex-friend and mother of his child: "Well, your turn comes ." And with that, he exits the room, grabs Jay and Silent Bob, and ducks out behind the courthouse to roll up some Zig Zags with his secret stash of "tobacco." Ellenor shakes her head and looks uncomfortable as we fold into commercials.
The Courthouse Where They Inflict Fake Pain. Helen shows up to arraign the slime ball that raped Amanda McGowan; she considers him dangerous as well as a flight risk. Judge Betts denies bail, and then the slime's attorney moves for a probable cause hearing. Slam! Helen protests; she hasn't spoken to the witness. The judge wants to know, then, why is she filing charges? She swallows, and her throat looks like a boa constrictor swallowing a small child. The judge orders her to confer with her witness, and sets up the probable cause hearing for tomorrow morning. On her way out of the courtroom, Helen runs into Amanda's father, who is in a wheelchair. He introduces himself, and she runs off the usual "I'm sorry," only she sounds so cold and uninvolved that I was afraid the man would freeze from overexposure to her elements. He wants to know what happens . The DA explains that they have a probable cause hearing, so she'll need to find the witness. Mr. McGowan, oh wait, she's right over there -- sitting in the GALLERY.
The Courthouse Of The War Of The Non-Roses. Ellenor is on the stand. She explains how she and Michael had been friends for a long time, so when she decided to have this baby she naturally turned to him. His genes were solid, smoking pot not withstanding. And she trusted him on his word. Jimmy clarifies, "But you don't want him as a co-parent." Correct. That's why they signed the contract. Then Ellenor stands up and cheers C-O-N-T-R-A-C-T. Co-on-on-tract! Go team! Jimmy wants her to explain why she wants to have the baby by herself. Ellie explains that she doesn't think she needs a man in her life to raise a child. Go sister. No, seriously, go sister. Even if she did decide to share the responsibilities with a man, she wouldn't choose Michael "Dazed and Confused" Hale. Why doesn't she want him to participate? Because they aren't in love with one another. Now, she doesn't trust him. Their entire relationship would be grounded in betrayal if they were forced to co-parent this child. Ellenor insists, "That relationship would most definitely harm the baby." Ellenor honestly believes that her daughter would be better raised by one parent, rather than be thrown into a relationship already filled with "tension and acrimony." Double. Triple. Quadruple. Word. The judge wants to know if Ellenor believes Michael to be an unfit father. Well, he does indulge in "the pot," you know, and his changing his mind at the last minute, that's not very good either. The judge notes that if Ellenor agreed to let Michael parent, she wouldn't be in court. Good point. She doesn't think so; she thinks he's motivated by guilt over his son, by redemption, about himself and not about any real need to become a parent. Ms. Garrett's up . She really gives it to Ellenor. Stats about single parents this, stats about raising children alone that, stats about kids turning out better with fathers the other thing. Bleepity blah more studies, blah working mom blah, nannies here and nannies there. The Symphony sidles up to Ms. Garrett, smirking. In the end, Ellenor holds her own. She has "choices" and she has a contract.
The Hospital Of Mistaken Identities That Cause People Pain. A nurse takes Rebecca's pulse. She shakes her head, and then wakes up. The nurse quips, "Well! Hello there!" Rebecca wants to know what happened; she's completely disoriented. The nurse grins like one of those pillows with Cheshire Cats sewn into them: "What happened? You have to ask what happened? You had a baby!" Huh? "You had a little baby girl!" What are you talking about? "Maybe you'd better lie back down!" No, you lie down. Rebecca insists she didn't have a baby: "I was blown up that's what I was!" Another nurse joins them. They are befuddled. One cracks some joke about feeling like a bomb hit her, the first baby she had. Rebecca asks for the nurses to call Bobby Donnell. One nurse says she knows Bobby because he had a baby too. The non-birthing one thinks she's in a rubber room. Then, the nurse says, "Roberta. You need to calm down." Hah! "My name is not Roberta. It's Rebecca. I was never pregnant. I didn't have a baby. I never had a baby. I don't want a baby. Can you get that through your baby-happy heads?" Heh. Then, finally, one of the nurses clues in: this is the missing patient! Finally, order is restored.
Helen's Den of Iniquity. She is questioning Michelle Tritter about seeing Amanda raped. Helen smells alcohol on her breath. She's had a few drinks. And she was drinking when she saw the incident. Helen wants to make sure Michelle doesn't get all hosed before the probable cause hearing. Michelle agrees, and not even reluctantly.
The Hospital Of Newly Awakened Pain. Helaine rushes down the hallway and into Rebecca's room. There is a joy. There is relief. There is sunshine. There is rain. The poor woman is still totally disoriented. The doctor looks into her eyes. Rebecca looks over to her mother: "I don't know what happened. I remember some of the explosion and then these whackos keep telling me everyone's having babies." Emperor Rod says quietly, and quite out of character for him: "Lindsay and I did have a baby. A little boy. Robert Gordon Donnell." Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh! The baby is a Mini-Him! I'll bet Bobby's already got his college fund established and has made a donation to his law school in the kid's honour. Rebecca is pleased: "You had a baby?" Rod nods. Rebecca turns to her mother: "Did I?" Is she supposed to be disoriented and confused, because for someone who was so sure she didn't have a baby, that line is really strange.
The Newly Restored And Renovated Firm of Pain. Jimmy is staring intently at his screen. Ellenor wants to know how he's doing. The Lump assures her he'll be ready. She asks if she's being selfish. He categorically states that she's not. "Thank you." He insists he'll be ready and that they "ain't losing this." She gets misty. He gives her a hug. I get misty. Then I hug my cat as we go to commercials.
The Courthouse. Michelle is on the stand. She recounts her version of the crime at the probable cause hearing. Are you sure? Positive. Helen thanks her and sits down. The defense has no questions. The judge allows her to step down, finds probable cause, and sets a trial date. Wow. That was easy. Michelle says, "Ms. Gamble?" Helen walks closer. "Can I talk to you?" Sure. If you're not afraid of your head freezing while you're still alive; I know I wouldn't take my chances.
The Hallway Which Is Perhaps Free Of Pain. Helen crosses her arms as Michelle wonders if the sixteen beers she has in a day will have to come up at trial. Um. Yeah. It will, definitely. Helen explains that the defendant's lawyer will try to discredit her with the drinking. Michelle worries about her reputation. She's just met a guy. And she's trying to get a job. If she comes across as an alcoholic, none of that will happen the way she wants. The DA is nonplused. She doesn't scream "you selfish witch" or "clean up your act then" or any of the things a good lawyer on Law & Order would yell. "What about the girl?" Michelle wants her to testify. Too bad, the DA really needs her. Michelle nods her head and says "okay." Whatever that means.
The Courthouse Of Non-Tom And Non-Nicole. Ms. Garrett makes her closing. She thinks denying Michael Hale his parenting rights is just plain mean. Jimmy sees it quite differently. I'll tell you, Jimmy's no Eugene -- hell, he's not even the Emperor -- but he does a good job; he's got a pretty good case with the fact that Michael signed the contract on his side. Ms. Garrett trumpets the stats again, but her closing doesn't really go anywhere. Advantage: Lump. Despite the fact that Ellenor gets emotional and tries to jump up and close the case her own damn self. Still, I hate the closings. Really, really hate the closings, even if they do have a freaking contract.
The final commercials.
Memorial Medical Centre of Pain. Amanda wants it all to be over. McGowan is there. The little girl honestly doesn't want to testify. Why can't Helen just ask that the court tape her testimony and spare her from having to appear in front of a jury? Lucy "The Expertise" Hatcher assures the pair that there's no need to talk about "it" right now. Helen walks in and nonchalantly says, "Hey. How's it going?" Okay, a little decorum would be polite on Helen's part, because the little girl was just raped. He asks her father to step outside. She explains how their case is extremely thin: "It doesn't look good." Mr. McGowan says, "He lives in our building." The Coda of Creepy Creeps backs him up: "You can't lose this bastard. He lives in our building." It'll be tough. He repeats the bit about the creepy creep living in their building. This sets Helen's resolve -- don't you worry, Mr. McGowan, the Ice Queen will have no trouble getting the guy.
The Courthouse Of Non-Meg And Non-Dennis. All rise. All be seated. Stand up. Sit down. Fight! Fight! Fight. The judge explains how he's never had a case like this where he's had to weigh contract law up against the best interests of the child. It's a tough one to think through. He starts off sounding like he's going to rule to give Michael at least partial custody. Ellenor starts to cry. He doesn't know whether or not her daughter would be better served with Michael's involvement. So, in the meantime, he lets the contract "tip the scale," finds the agreement valid, terminates Michael's paternal rights, and refuses to grant Hale's request to have his name on the baby's birth certificate. Both Ellenor and Jimmy let out deep sighs of relief as Michael sits on the other side of the courtroom looking very sad and upset. It won't be easy for anyone.
time on The Practice: Ellenor has complications with her pregnancy and is treated by Dr. Gideon.