Last season on The Practice: George Vogelman, a former date of Ellenor's, shows up at the DYD&F offices with a woman's head in his doctor's bag; Vogelman is charged with the murder of Susan Robbin, a woman he'd met at a bar the night before; Vogelman tells Ellenor he didn't kill Susan; Vogelman's found not guilty; alone at the office one night, Lindsay is stabbed and seriously wounded; in the hospital, Lindsay tells Bobby a man in a nun suit stabbed her; we see George Vogelman cruising the streets of Boston in a nun's habit.
In the season opener, we see a nervous Fonzie (Henry Winkler) in the DYD&F offices asking Jimmy if it's "so terrible if they see the videotape." Jimmy tells him it's likely to inflame the jury. Lindsay, who doesn't seem much the worse for wear after being stabbed almost to death, comes charging out of Bobby's office with Bobby behind her. She tells them they better get going, and Bobby asks Fonzie where his wife is. Apparently, Jimmy told Fonzie that since this was just a hearing, she didn't need to be there. Bobby instructs Fonzie to have his wife and kids there for the trial. Lindsay nags them out the door. As they disappear, we see George Vogelman standing there. He enters the office hesitantly: "Ellenor?" She looks up, surprised, and without any further pleasantries on his part, he tells her his co-op association just evicted him on the grounds of moral turpitude. Apparently, despite his acquittal, in their minds it's not at all clear that he's innocent, so they're kicking him to the curb. George is obviously distraught. "How many times do I have to keep paying for something I didn't do?" They gave him thirty days' notice; he asks if what they're doing is legal. Lucy predictably snipes, "I wouldn't want a killer living on my floor." Ellenor predictably admonishes her. Lucy quickly turns to George and starts backpedaling, "Well, not that you are one..." Ellenor banishes Lucy to her desk by pointing her finger commandingly. George says he knows it's not a big case but asks Ellenor to represent him anyway. Ellenor looks weary, but she's such a soft-hearted person that of course she says she will. They go off to the conference room to discuss the case. Off to the side, Eugene and Rebecca are watching this exchange. Eugene says flatly, "He's back." Rebecca gets to gesture doubtfully with her head. Could such a talented actor be more underused? I'm sure DEK will give us the chance to find out this season. Credits, commercials.
The first thing we see is black-and-white video footage of an attractive woman, lying dead in a dentist's chair, with some sort of dark-coloured schmutz all over her mouth and neck, which would look somewhat like blood if it wasn't so lumpy. Assistant District Attorney Richard "The Runt" Bay is indicating to the court that this is how she was found by the police, and points out the "slight bruising" on her neck. As the camera continues to roam over her chin and throat area, he explains that the schmutz isn't blood, it's grape jelly. The judge: "Grape jelly?" Richard affirms this, and adds that there only about thirty seconds of footage that he's apparently trying to introduce at trial. Bobby argues that the footage is highly inflammatory; Richard counters that it doesn't go to guilt or innocence, but rather what the scene looked like. (Inflammatory or not, isn't it physical evidence? Shouldn't it be included?) Bobby insists that the jury will look at that and be horrified and "decide that someone's got to pay." (Well, probably; but don't juries get shown death photos and so forth all the time? What's with the flak over this?) Richard starts saying that the defense attorneys started the idea that juries have to be sheltered from the truth. Bobby accuses him of speech-making before the trial's even begun, Richard snipes back, and the judge breaks it up. Richard claims he has no intention of "getting on a soapbox" but wonders how they became afraid of letting juries see things for themselves, and asserts that the footage describes things more accurately than any testimony could, and it's supposed to be about arriving at the truth, and the straightest-line approach should prevail, blah blah blah, jury system is the best in the world, but we don't trust them, it's an insult to Mom and apple pie, et cetera. Holy windbag, Batman. The judge, dry as ever: "Yes, and I'm so glad you left your soapbox at home." Richard's temporarily at a loss for words. Bobby argues again that the footage doesn't speak to his client's guilt or innocence, and reminds the court that Richard agreed with that. As Bobby continues talking, Richard interrupts him. Bobby asks testily if he can finish and Richard snaps, "You don't need to finish! We already know what you're going to say. You got a sick, depraved, murdering client like always, and like always, the more truth you can keep under wraps, the better. It is a disgrace regularly visited upon this room by you and every other defense attorney." Bobby calmly remarks to the judge, "Napoleon complex, Your Honour: res ipsa pipsqueak!" The judge has had enough as Richard looks at Bobby, speechless again. The judge allows the videotape and instructs Bobby and Richard to keep their pettifogging out of the courtroom. They glare at each other.
Bobby and Lindsay burst out of the courtroom into the hallway. Lindsay asks Bobby if he "really thinks that was necessary." Bobby does indeed. He asks if there's been any word from Rebecca. Jimmy indicates that "the sister" agreed to talk to Rebecca. Bobby asks Fonzie where his family is; Fonzie says his wife and son are on the way, but his daughter is only eleven and he doesn't want her there. Just then Richard storms up and gripes in Bobby's face (or as close as he can get to it, being about ten or twelve inches shorter), "Call me a pipsqueak?" Bobby growls back, "Get away from me Richard before I trip over you." Lindsay says "All right," and the DYD&F cluster starts to hustle away. As they do, Richard announces, "I'll get you, Donnell." He follows them a little way down the hallway to yell, "I'll get your client...I'll get you!" Naturally he runs into Helen, who's just coming off the elevator and wants to know what the hell he's doing. Richard whines about being called a pipsqueak in open court. She reminds him that he can't be yelling "I'll get you" to defense lawyers in the hallway. She asks how the case is; he replies that it's "circumstantial, but tight." He gripes that he never knows what her "little friends" are going to pull. Helen reminds him not to be screaming at them in court. She takes off, leaving Richard mumbling in the hallway about being called a pipsqueak. What a wiener.
In another courtroom, Ellenor is arguing on George's behalf, reminding the court that Vogelman was found innocent in a court of law. The other lawyers points out, "So was O.J. Simpson, but that doesn't mean that a co-op has to welcome him..." Ellenor interrupts, "How many times does he have to be victimized?" She reminds Judge Kittleson that, after having been acquitted, the police planted a knife on her to try to frame George, to which the other attorney replies that the police did that because they remained convinced that Vogelman had cut off a woman's head. Um, and planted evidence would prove that how, exactly? Ellenor asks if he's supposed to walk around branded. Kittleson says she sympathizes, but an acquittal doesn't add up to innocence, but only means that the state couldn't make its burden of proof. ["Oh, splitting hairs, Roberta, splitting hairs." -- ragdoll] She asks Ellenor if she thinks a co-op should be required to keep O.J. Simpson as a member. Ellenor starts off by saying that O.J. was found guilty at a civil trial; the other attorney insists George would probably be found guilty at a civil trial, too. Ellenor says, "You don't know that!" The other attorney says that Vogelman could be a very nice man who just happened to have a human head pop out of his medical bag, but that some members of the co-op have started to move out since he moved in. He also reminds them that co-ops have always been allowed to pick and choose their members. (So then how did George get in? If people have just started to move out since he moved in, and the widely-reported murder accusation itself is less than a year old, what's the deal? Other than careless writing, that is? ["And we're shocked at DEK's carelessness?" -- ragdoll]) Kittleson indicates that co-ops can't discriminate in choosing their members. The co-op lawyer says that if George was being kept out because of his skin colour or religion, he'd have a case. He adds, "But we're certainly allowed to ask on the application, 'Have you ever been charged with a decapitation?' Maybe it was a mistake to leave that question off." Ellenor's mighty annoyed and asks if he thinks he's funny. He asks Ellenor if she would live in the same building as George. Kittleson interrupts and says she'll take it under advisement and says she'll render her decision at ten o'clock the morning. George looks depressed.
A woman strides forcefully across a room and says, "How dare you ask me that?" Rebecca explains that she understands that "this is difficult." The woman complains that her sister has been murdered and wonders if they're planning to put the victim on trial. (Well, it is DYD&F; anything is possible, especially Plan B!) Rebecca says the prosecution believes that her sister and Dr. Olson (that would be Fonzie) were carrying on an affair. The sister insists otherwise, stating that her sister liked clean teeth, and he's a dentist. Rebecca asks if her sister could possibly have been having an affair with somebody else. The woman says no. Rebecca tries to ask about the victim's ex-husband, but the woman cuts her off and firmly states that Rebecca's client killed her sister, and that Olson was obsessed with her sister and killed her because she wasn't interested in him. Rebecca suddenly asks if her sister liked bugs. The woman doesn't know what to make of this and says, "Excuse me?" Rebecca claims that a plastic container full of cockroaches was found at the scene, but the police don't know how it got there. The woman just stares at Rebecca and says nothing. ["Wouldn't you hate to have to ask that question?" -- ragdoll]
On the stand is a detective being questioned by Richard. The only fingerprints found belonged to either the victim or the defendant. They also retrieved a pair of latex gloves from the garbage, which DNA evidence proved to have been worn by the defendant. On the outside of the gloves were some skin secretions from the victim and grape jelly. The detective indicates the woman's mouth was filled with grape jelly. They also found several pictures of the victim in Fonzie's desk. Now it's Bobby's turn. He elicits the fact that Dr. Olson called to report the murder to the police. Bobby asks whether Dr. Olson told the police that he had tried to clear the woman's airways when he discovered her mouth clogged with jelly; the detective indicates that he did. Bobby suggests that it's reasonable to assume that if someone put his hands in Ms. Poole's mouth in order to clear it out, he'd get jelly on his hands or gloves. Richard objects: "Speculation." Bobby replies that they're only there in court because of speculation. Richard objects again; the judge sustains it and tells them to move on. Bobby asks the detective if he's aware that Ms. Poole "sought and obtained a restraining order against he ex-husband two years ago." We see a man in the peanut gallery look slightly embarrassed. The detective indicates that they investigated Mr. Jensen and ruled him out as a suspect. Bobby suggests that the police can't rule out the possibility that someone else entered the room after Olson left; the detective asserts that no evidence points to anyone else. Bobby gets him to admit that he can't exclude the possibility, but the detective points out that fibres from Olson's gloves were found on her neck. Bobby suggests that could have happened during mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. The detective claims to have no idea whether that's possible. Bobby suggests they leave it at that.
Ellenor, obviously desperate, pops into Kittleson's office to speak with her. Kittleson asks if it would be ex parte; Ellenor says, "I'll let you be the judge." Kittleson: "Gee, thanks." Ellenor tells her that she thought about asking Kittleson to recuse herself, since both Vogelman and Kittleson had been tangentially connected by being considered as suspects when Lindsay was stabbed. (If Kittleson had done it, though, you know she would have finished the job.) Ellenor gives her a lot of jazz about the anger a false accusation can cause a person, and says she has to ask Kittleson if she can see straight on this issue. Kittleson asks, "Well, if I couldn't, wouldn't my bias run in your favour?" Ellenor says she doesn't know. Kittleson points out that she knows that this case ended up before her because Ellenor went to the favour bank and got a certain clerk named Benny (who must be another one of Kittleson's conquests) to make sure the case landed in her lap, figuring the bias would help her case. Kittleson remarks, "I see a lot straighter than I'm given credit for. As I said, I will take the matter under advisement. In the meantime, get your ass out of my chambers." Ellenor, duly chastened, beats a hasty and silent retreat. Kittleson looks pissed as we go to commercials.
Back at Fonzie's trial, his hygienist is testifying to Richard about the relationship between the doctor and his patient. Apparently, Ms. Poole came in twice a week, every week, to have her teeth cleaned, and Dr. Olson would always do the cleaning himself, which is highly unusual for a dentist. That's what dental hygienists are for. She was compulsive about having her teeth cleaned, brushing her teeth twelve times a day on top of the twice-weekly cleanings. She testifies that Dr. Olson began scheduling the cleanings for early mornings, before the office was even open. She was never in attendance at any of these cleanings. Once she came in early, and saw that the door to the examination room slammed shut quickly, and she was instructed by Dr. Olson never to come in early again. She was also instructed not to bill Ms. Poole for any of these cleanings, which is a lot of free labour. Then Bobby asks her whether she has any reason to believe that Ms. Poole was not actually getting her teeth cleaned during these sessions, and the hygienist says no, she does believe the cleanings were being performed, since the victim had "a thing" about it .
Bobby, Lindsay, and Richard walk out into the hall. Bobby and Richard natter about the case; Bobby tells the Runt he's got no case, and they snipe at each other for no apparent dramatic purpose. Richard drifts away, and suddenly the victim's ex-husband walks up and confronts Bobby. He introduces himself as Bob Jensen, explains he used to be married to the victim, and complains that he doesn't appreciate Bobby's "innuendo that [he] might be a suspect." Bobby, ever a paragon of compassion, replies, "Mr. Jensen, I sympathize with the loss of your ex-wife, but this is a murder trial. If your feelings get easily hurt in there, I'd stay out of the room." He turns and walks away with Lindsay, muttering, "What's with these people?" ["Because people just love to be accused of murder. Bobby needs a sharp lesson in compassion." -- ragdoll] They go into a breakout room and discuss the trial. Bobby feels the prosecution hasn't made its burden of proof, and maybe "we don't even get up." Lindsay asks if he's ever heard Richard close. I have. I wasn't all that blown away by it. Now, Eugene: that man can close. Anyway, Lindsay argues that they need to explain the free cleanings, and the pictures he had of her, because it's suspicious. Bobby contends that you can't convict on suspicion (yeah, I bet that never happens). Lindsay says it's too risky not to have him testify.
Quick cut to Fonzie stating, "I'm not frightened. I have nothing to hide!" Over at the Olson ranch, Jimmy's eating dinner with Fonzie's family. Jimmy tells Fonzie not to try to outsmart the lawyer (Richard) because he'll try to trap him. Allison, Fonzie's wife, wants to know why they aren't calling the victim's sister. Jimmy explains that the sister's in no mood to help; Steven (Fonzie Jr.) pipes up, "But you could subpoena her, right?" The phone rings, while Steven suggests calling the ex-husband. Steven's sister Laura answers it and it's some girl calling for Steven; he asks to be excused and disappears to take the call elsewhere. Jimmy tells Fonzie that the key in his testimony is to stick to "yes" or "no." Allison sits down, and, the two kids having run off, asks quietly, "Why'd you have her pictures?" She's sure he'll be asked that, and it's pretty obvious that she'd like a good answer. Jimmy says they will ask him about the pictures. Fonzie insists, "I didn't have an affair with her, Allison." She points out that the police aren't talking about an affair, but the idea that Fonzie was obsessed with the victim. Allison asks, "Were you?" Fonzie wants to know how many times they're going to have the same talk. Allison snaps, "Every time something new pops up, like pictures!" If I were Allison, I'd be a lot more interested in the reason for so much free dentistry. Fonzie claims that he doesn't know why she gave him her pictures and suggests that perhaps she was obsessed with him. He tries to suggest that since she was so obsessive about having her teeth cleaned, maybe she developed some kind of fixation on him as a dentist...he doesn't really know. Jimmy's standing over by the counter by now, and warns him not to talk that way or play hunches when he's on the stand. He tells Fonzie just to say he doesn't know why she wanted him to have the pictures. Suddenly, for no apparent reason whatsoever, Jimmy opens one of the cupboards, and spies half a dozen jars of grape jelly. He stops and stares, and Fonzie notices. He's annoyed: "Oh, that's suspicious? What family doesn't have grape jelly?" Jimmy tries (and fails) to look convinced. ["No kidding. I can think of a few families that don't have six jars on hand at one time." -- Sars]
Kittleson, in giving her decision, mentions that she sympathizes with George, but that the contract clearly allows the co-op to evict members as long as it acts reasonably. Kittleson says there is a great deal of evidence to indicate that he picked up a woman, took her to a motel, had sex with her and then cut her head off. "I wouldn't want you on my block, much less in my apartment building." She acknowledges that he may be innocent, but adds that he may not be. She denies his petition and adjourns the court. George looks sad but not surprised. He asks Ellenor what to do . She's not sure but advises him to start looking for a new place to live. He then asks her to have dinner with him. Ellenor looks dubious. George says, "We can get an expensive bottle of wine, and, I don't know...pretend things are good. I'm a good cook..." Ellenor wimps out and relents. George is all smiles. I feel sorry for both of them at this point, but that doesn't mean this date is a good idea. Ellenor deserves better. Oh sorry, I forgot; in DEK's world, fat women only get to be with somebody who's either a loser, or a user, or both. Or they can content themselves with being alone.
Bobby's got Fonzie on the stand. He's questioning Olson about the pictures. Bobby asks him to address the questions of the pictures and the free dental work. Fonzie says he had the pictures because she gave them to him, and he doesn't know why he didn't throw them away. As for the dental work: "I admit it was very nice to have a beautiful woman come in. I don't get a lot of attention from attractive..." Um, you mean other than your wife, who's no dog? "It was very flattering. Maybe I even had a little crush and so I didn't bill her. But I never had an affair with her and I certainly didn't kill her." Bobby asks Fonzie to describe the events of the morning of the murder. Fonzie claims he cleaned her teeth; then he went back to his office, forty-fifty feet away. He thought she had left. When he went back to the examining room to clean up, he found her dead in the chair. He tried to clear her airway of the at-first unrecognizable substance, and then he realized it was jelly. Fonzie tried to revive her but couldn't; then he phoned 911.
Now Richard's questioning him. How did Fonzie try to revive her? The Fonz says he tried to do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, after pulling out enough jelly to clear her airway. Richard asks why he didn't do a tracheotomy; Fonzie considered it, but she was dead -- no pulse, no breathing. Richard asks, "Did you murder her because she was going to break off a sexual affair?" Bobby objects. Before the judge can rule, Fonzie says, "I did not have an affair with her, and I did not kill her!" He bangs his fist on the witness box. Richard asks what Fonzie was doing in his office before going back to the examining room. Fonzie says he was doing paperwork. The Runt looks skeptical, and way smug, so you know he's got something up his sleeve. He asks Fonzie if he washed the floor, and indicates that the lab report showed traces of ammonia and disinfectant on the floor, and that it had been freshly washed. Fonzie says there are cleaners that come in every night. But this was Monday, the Runt states; the cleaners don't come in on Sunday. Bobby and Jimmy look mystified as to where Richard is going with this, and look at each other nervously. Fonzie denies washing the floor. Richard asks if he caused any liquid to fall on the floor. Fonzie asks him to repeat the question, and when he does, he says, "No, I don't believe I did." Richard asks, "What about semen?" Fonzie keeps his composure very well (hey, he's The Fonz), but you can tell Richard's gotten too close to something. Richard asks, "Is there a reason semen droplets were found, droplets with an exact DNA match to..." Bobby's on his feet yelling an objection, asserting that there's no evidence of semen that's been introduced. Richard claims that he's not introducing it now, either, he's just asking the witness a question: "If semen were found, any idea as to how it could have gotten there? Did you think you got it all when you washed the floor that morning, Dr. Olson?" Fonzie remains cool as Bobby snarls another objection. The judge says he'll see counsel in chambers.
Bobby comes in hollering about unfair surprise and complaining that the prosecution didn't turn over evidence. Richard asserts that the evidence was neither inculpatory nor exculpatory, and that it came from a different room. Bobby asserts that Richard knows that's crap. The judge wants to know why, if Richard had evidence of semen in the doctor's office, the DA's office didn't turn it over to the defense. Richard says they have no evidence of the victim being in the doctor's office, so they don't necessarily consider it relevant. Bobby bellows about how Richard just decides to "drop it like a bomb" and ambush the witness. They yell at each other a bit until the judge orders them to shut their yaps. Bobby contends that the judge should declare a mistrial immediately. The judge tells Richard he's "very tempted" to throw the trial out; Richard interrupts, and the judge says, "Shut up." (Love replaying the tape whenever someone tells one of these blowhard lawyers to shut up.) He orders Richard to turn over everything he has to the defense, and warns him that if there's one more surprise, he will "dismiss with prejudice in favour of the defendant." Richard says he understands. The judge also says he'll put Richard in jail. Why the hell isn't he at least being charged with contempt right now? Richard tries to explain, but the judge ain't interested. "You're on probation for the rest of this trial." Bobby states that it's inconceivable not to declare a mistrial now. Judge says it ain't gonna happen. But he tells Bobby, "If you want to beat him up in the parking lot, you have my blessing." ["Because violence is always the answer." -- ragdoll]
They all storm out and follow Bobby down the hall, where he bursts into the breakout room in which Fonzie and his family are waiting. He barks at Fonzie, "What the hell was that?" Fonzie says he can explain. Bobby snarls that it may be too late to explain. As usual, both of them are yelling, Bobby about how he's going down for murder, and Fonzie about how he didn't kill her. Finally, Jimmy pleads with Fonzie to talk to him. Fonzie asks Allison to take Steven out. She's very alarmed and wants to know why. Wearily, he says, "Just do it, please." Allison and Steven leave. Fonzie explains that he has a fetish for watching women step on bugs. He had a deal with the victim that he would clean her teeth in exchange for her stepping on bugs. Then he would go in his office and...gratify himself. And that's what happened the day she died, only when he came out of his office, she was dead. He says, "I didn't kill her. I promise." Everyone looks grave. Um, if Rebecca knows about the container of bugs in the office, why are the rest of the lawyers only just finding out about this now? Surely that's something they would have asked Fonzie about? I mean, assuming anyone bothered to actually prepare for this case. Well, we can ponder the careless writing while we watch some more commercials.
Back at the office, Rebecca and Lucy rag on Ellenor for agreeing to have dinner with George. Rebecca thinks that she's crazy and that George is weird. Ellenor says he's not weird, and that even if he is, she feels bad for him because his life is ruined. Rebecca: "Doesn't mean you have to eat pot roast." Lucy, in her usual delightful way, points out that guys aren't exactly breaking down Ellenor's door. Ellenor starts to give Lucy the what for, but Lucy claims she's defending Ellenor. Just then, Bobby bursts in and, without so much as a "hello," starts barking orders at a stunned Rebecca. Why is Rebecca always the one doing the most clerical work? Lucy apparently has little to do other than make unkind remarks. Here's a clue for all those receptionists who are secretly studying law at night: when you pass the bar, find another firm at which to work. The people who knew you as a receptionist are going to treat you that way forever, and it ain't going to be pretty. Anyway, Bobby says, "Rebecca, get on the Internet and find out what you can about these 'crush clubs,' people getting sexually aroused by stepping on bugs. Then I need an expert witness, someone who can testify about it, and I need it fast." Rebecca tries to ask what Bobby means about stepping on bugs, but he cuts her off with a "just what I said." Eugene wanders into the room and asks, as is his wont, what's going on. Lindsay says with obvious distaste, "Our client likes bugs." Lucy says, "Ellenor's dating George Vogelman." Ellenor says with frustration, "I am not dating him!"
Whoosh! Helen pops into Richard's office to read him the riot act. He tells her not to start; she claims she just came to say hello. She gently says that he's lucky the judge didn't toss the case out. Richard insists he had to catch the defendant in a lie; Helen correctly points out that it was prosecutorial misconduct. He snipes, "Maybe you can live with seeing murderers walk; I can't." Helen is surprisingly good-natured and replies, "No, you can live with losing on appeal so long as you win at trial 'cause that's when the cameras are running." Richard's Napoleon complex grabs him by the testicles, or so it seems, because I can't imagine what else would compel him to speak to a superior this way: "You know, you used to sleep with one of their lawyers, you're living with another -- hey, maybe you're even sleeping with her." Or maybe David E. Kelley just could not resist yet another opportunity to suggest the idea of two bony straight women having sex. Talk amongst yourselves while I search for an expert to explain this fetish. Helen must have taken her meds, because she's uncharacteristically calm as she asks, "Does it make you feel better saying that?" Richard claims he'll do whatever he has to convict Fonzie, even if it means engaging in a smackdown with Richie, Ralph, and Potsie.
In the courtroom, it appears that Rebecca scared up an expert to testify about Olson's fetish. That was fast. Rebecca'd make a good lawyer, no? Expert Dude says it's called a "crush fetish," and while it's uncommon, it's not unique to Fonzie. He claims it's related to the Oedipus complex and asserts that when Fonzie was a toddler, he saw his mother frightened by a bug, after which she stepped on it. "Seeing a surge in his mother's adrenaline caused a similar adrenal surge in Dr. Olson." Allison fumes and looks down. "This is the typical genesis. For whatever reason, this adrenal rush becomes sexual as the boy grows older, to the point where one becomes aroused by seeing a female stomp on a bug." Now it's Richard's turn to question Expert Dude. "You've studied this?" he asks incredulously. Expert Dude says he's familiar with it. "Believe it or not, there is currently an American Journal of the Crush Freaks..." He also mentions that there's an "underground videotape industry." Richard, still incredulous, asks, "And that's what was going on with him?" Suddenly Fonzie's on the stand saying, "Yes. I would clean her teeth and she would step on cockroaches." He met her on the Internet (which, in DEK's world, is never anything but a seething mass of perverts, deviants, degenerates, and adulterers) and she offered to crush bugs in exchange for free teeth cleanings. And they say the barter system can't work. Bobby asks Fonzie if he ever told anyone else about his fetish. Fonzie says he once told his wife. Allison won't look at Fonzie right away. He confesses that he never told her that Ms. Poole was giving him some bug-crushing action on the side. As if we haven't already gotten the freaking point (because on a DEK show the sensational can never be overemphasized -- never, you understand?), Bobby says, "She would crush these bugs, you'd become aroused, run back to your office and..." Fonzie: "Yeah." He rubs his forehead and looks down.
Whoosh. We're in a breakout room. Fonzie's saying, "Plea bargain? You mean say I did it?" Bobby says they're not recommending it, they're just saying it's an option. Allison asks why they're mentioning it if they're not recommending it. Lindsay says Fonzie did okay damage control while on the stand, but the damage was still done. Fonzie goes to his friend Jimmy for advice. Jimmy states that they're up against the wall. "I'm not saying I think you did it but..." Allison interrupts sharply: "I'll say it: I don't believe you anymore, Henry." She says he's sick, he's just a very sick person. She's starting to cry and her voice catches as she says, "Our children are going to have to read about it." Henry asks the legal team to give them a moment and they vamoose. Fonzie sits down to face Allison as the Piano Music of Marital Tribulation (tm ragdoll) plays.
Late in the evening in the DYD&F conference room, Bobby, Lindsay and Jimmy discuss strategy with Eugene. Bobby says he doesn't know where to go with the defense. Jimmy says, "We should have been digging into who else wanted that woman dead." Yup, that might have been a plan. Bobby says they did. Jimmy replies, "Not enough we didn't!" He pounds the table. "She's into stuff that kinky, who knows what kind of people she was mixed up with?" Eugene, who's been studying a file, asks the rest of them if they know Fonzie gets an annuity. Apparently Olson gets one hundred and twenty-five thousand a year from his father in the form of an annuity. Eugene suggests Plan B. (Unbelievable that it took this bunch this long to come up with their usual strategy.) Lindsay's skeptical: "Plan B? Who? The ex has an alibi." Eugene, to Jimmy's horror, is talking about Allison. He asks if she has an alibi. Eugene proposes that perhaps Allison found out about Fonzie's fetish, wanted revenge, but if she killed him, she would lose the annuity. If she frames him and he gets put in jail, she keeps the money. Jimmy's resistant to this idea, saying the police checked her out and took her word for it that she was home. He claims to know Allison, at which point Eugene responds, "You said you knew Henry, and you didn't know he was cheating on his wife with a cockroach!" There's a word picture I didn't need. Bobby thinks if Allison doesn't have an alibi, they could "Plan B" her. Eugene says they could sell it enough to make reasonable doubt. Jimmy says, "I thought you were out of that business, Eugene -- falsely accusing people of murder?" Lindsay points out that the last time they pulled this, they got sued. Eugene thinks they're being pretty fussy for people who have an innocent man going down for homicide. Lindsay says Allison's statement was that she was home alone and the kids were at school. The police confirmed the car never left the driveway. Bobby says, "People take buses." Jimmy says it's too desperate. Bobby bursts, "We are desperate!" He goes off on some rant about how Fonzie was last seen with the victim, he lied under oath, he gets off on crushed cockroaches (because that fact has only been mentioned about sixteen million times and we might have missed it), and that he's a sick wacko. Jimmy and Bobby start yelling at each other in such a way that neither can be understood. We get an aerial shot of the table and Lindsay managing to get everyone to shut up so she can ask whether, if they do this, they ask to treat Allison as a hostile witness. Then they get into an argument about whether or not to run it by Fonzie. Jimmy says he'd say no; Bobby says they shouldn't tell him. Lindsay asks whether they have an obligation to tell the client their strategy. Eugene says no, they just have to act in his best interest. That may not include falsely accusing the client's wife, though, Eugene. Jimmy and Eugene begin bickering about whether or not it's malpractice to withhold information from the client. Lindsay, ever mindful of the firm's reputation, reminds them that having already been sued for this, they don't need more such publicity. Bobby decides they'll run it by Fonzie and let him make the call.
Over at Casa Vogelman, Ellenor and George eat dinner together. Seems like they're having a decent enough time. Ellenor says the food is delicious. George claims there are two secrets: smear the bird with butter, and don't carve it all at once, since that just dries the bird out. He goes to the counter to cut some more meat; he convinces Ellenor to have another piece. He's gesturing hospitably with the carving knife and the two-pronged fork. Ellenor remarks, "That's an awfully big knife you have there, George." Glibly and without missing a beat, George replies, "All the better to cut your head off with, my dear." Ellenor looks slightly stunned by this. (As would anyone, I think.) George claims that gallows humour is all he has left. Ellenor says that "this thing" will follow him, and sometimes he'll be able to fight it and sometimes he won't. She pours some more wine. George mumbles about severing the past and leaving town. She says casually, "That's not the worst idea. But I'd miss you." George stops fussing with the bird and walks over to her and says he'd miss her too. She pauses, unsure that she likes where this is going, and turns around and asks him what's the matter. He says he's been missing her, and that the one good thing about all his problems with the law is that it meant he could spend time with Ellenor. He reminds her of what a good time they used to have laughing and talking on the phone before she saw him in person. (They met through a personals ad, if I remember correctly.) She's obviously hesitant but too kind to hurt his feelings outright. He goes on to say that she is the greatest woman he's ever known, and she thanks him. He says, "This is where you're supposed to say something nice about me." She chuckles softly and replies, "Okay, how about...I really like having you as a friend, George." He gets the picture, but then he leans over slowly to kiss her anyway, and Ellenor lets him as we go to commercials. Please, whatever you do, don't sleep with him, Ellenor. You can do better. ["Insert ragdoll screaming, 'Give Ellenor a real love life, you bastard!' at DEK here." -- ragdoll]
Jimmy's told Fonzie about Plan B; Fonzie is, predictably, outraged and unwilling to go along with it. Fonzie denies even the possibility that Allison could have committed the murder; Jimmy says it doesn't matter, she's just a red herring. Fonzie thinks no jury will buy it. Jimmy says it's not so crazy, and paints a little picture of how he can use this to create reasonable doubt. He asks Fonzie, "Can you be positive she didn't go down there?" Fonzie says, "Yes, I can." He asks Jimmy for lawyer-client privilege and "friend privilege." Jimmy agrees. Fonzie tells Jimmy it was Steven. Jimmy's taken aback. Fonzie says he saw the door close when Steven left. Jimmy wants to know why he hasn't told anybody this. Fonzie replies, "Because I don't want him to spend the rest of his life in jail for something I drove him to! Now look, you said I had a very good chance of beating this thing. That's what I've decided to do." Jimmy can't believe his son is letting him take the fall. Fonzie says Steven's so angry with him he doesn't care, nor does Steven know that his dad knows who did it. Jimmy wants to go to the DA, but Fonzie grabs him and says, "Absolutely not! No chance! They will try him as an adult. You know that, Jimmy. His life will be over!" Jimmy asks about what happens if he kills somebody else. Fonzie says he'll get him some help. The time to do that might be now, actually. Fonzie insists that this stay between him and Jimmy, and that if Jimmy blabs, he'll confess to the crime: "This happened because of me, and I'm willing to take the risk." Jimmy's incredulous. He walks out into the hall and looks at Lindsay and Bobby, who are pacing around, and shakes his head.
Bobby does his closing argument. He admits the thing looks bad. The physical evidence points to Fonzie. "We know he's a little twisted...sexually aroused by seeing bugs get crushed...what's with that?" Really? He is? I hadn't the faintest idea. Why are we only learning this now? Bobby insists that Fonzie didn't do it, although he doesn't know who did. He points the finger at the victim, of course: "I do know the victim put herself out there on the Internet, advertising her services, and you encounter a lot of depraved people doing that kind of thing." Really? You do? I hadn't the faintest idea. Why are we only learning this now? Bobby suggests she may have been stalked, and Henry framed. He reminds them that the physical evidence only shows that his client was in the same room as the victim, which he freely admitted anyway. Bobby mentions he was the one to call the police. And, if he was going to kill her, Bobby adds, wouldn't he have done a better job of it? At least tried to get away with it? He concludes by asserting the prosecution has no physical or testimonial evidence to prove Fonzie committed the murder. Now it's the Runt's turn. He cites the pictures, the free cleanings; posits that perhaps she didn't want to squish bugs anymore, and Fonzie snapped. "We could stand here all day trying to make sense of it, but you can't make sense of depravities, ladies and gentlemen, whether it be a murder or a bug fetish, it's pointless to apply reason. No evidence points to anybody else being in that room other than the defendant. The woman he engages to come to his office to squish insects and bring him to a climax [oh, hadn't you heard?] -- is found dead." Richard reminds them he lied on the stand. "We already know he's a liar. Is there really even a question here that he's also a murderer?" Having told a lie or fifty in my life, I'd like to think I'd get the benefit of the doubt if I was ever accused of murder. Guess I can forget about that! ["Word. See you on death row." -- Sars]
After the final set of commercials, Ellenor shows up at George's apartment to discuss the kiss. She says she's feeling a little uncomfortable about it. Ellenor explains that winning George's acquittal was her biggest professional victory, and that she thinks that on some unconscious level she tries to relive that victory every chance she gets. She thinks she feels better on some unconscious level when she's with George. (I love Camryn Manheim's voice. It was especially soft and beautiful in this scene.) George asks, obviously insulted, "You kissed me on some professional high?" Ellenor denies this firmly but gently. She tries again: "What I came here to say is that our friendship is very complicated and my kissing you is probably not going to happen again, and I just want to be clear on that, that we just keep it as friends." George looks both annoyed and hurt, but keeps a stiff upper lip and says he gets it. Ellenor asks if he's okay with it; he says he is, and that he appreciates her coming by to tell him. She takes off for a deposition she has to get to, and gives him a minimal peck on the cheek as she leaves. As George closes the door, we see that there's a nun's habit hanging on the coat rack behind him, which, naturally, wasn't there the night before when Ellenor was in the apartment. Ruh-roh!
Jimmy's hassling Fonzie in the breakout room as they wait for the jury to come back. Jimmy doesn't know how Steven will be better off this way; Fonzie thinks he'll be better off as long as he's out of prison. Jimmy says when the verdict comes back, they'll have no credibility, Fonzie'll just be a guilty man. Fonzie's still hanging on to the hope that he'll be found innocent, and reiterates that he's willing to take the risk. Bobby pops in to tell them the jury's back.
Big surprise: Olson's guilty. Bobby states they'll appeal. Richard looks smug. The court officer starts to drag Fonzie away as we hear Allison sobbing in the background. Bobby tells Fonzie that there are appealable issues; Fonzie asks if they can win. Bobby admits he doesn't know. Fonzie keeps insisting he didn't do it as they drag him off. Richard walks up to Bobby and says, "Res ipsa prison." Bobby tells him, "Get out of here." Allison is sobbing on Jimmy's shoulder: "What are we going to do?" Jimmy gives Steven a serious look over her shoulder, and Steven slowly raises his eyes to look at Jimmy, wondering whether or not Jimmy knows his secret.