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When Dwight is tasked with landing a contract for a father and son suit business, he drafts Clark (yes, Clark is back) to pretend to be the actual Dwight, Jr. on a sales call. When Dwight learns that the real father and son don't get along, he changes the schtick to a supposedly dysfunctional relationship where he puts Clark down all the time to win favor with the dad. But then they learn that the son's actually in charge of the business, so Clark turns the tables. They end up making the sale and even bonding over Dwight's childhood habit of collecting cat turds.
Darryl goes for his interview with Jim's company in Philadelphia, and brings Pam along. Darryl nearly blows the interview, but manages to pull it together, at least until he accidentally vandalizes the office with an autographed basketball. Even so, Jim tells Darryl that he's in, so that's good. Pam seems a little disappointed that Darryl's going to have to move to Philadelphia, but what's really bothering her is that someone let slip that she and Jim will eventually have to as well. But God forbid she actually talk to Jim about it.
Back at the office, Erin is in a tizzy over being assigned the job of taking delivery of a box of pens in Pam's absence. This is worrying enough for her (particularly as a metaphor for whatever's going on between her and Pete), but things are further complicated by the fact that Clark has brought in an espresso machine as a gift from Jan. Everyone else tries every flavor and starts bouncing off the walls and tearing up the carpet, until a traffic jam in the parking lot at 5:00. Darryl and Pam return to find the office destroyed. Along with Erin's self-confidence.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Dwight gets an IM from David Wallace telling him to go after a client called Stone & Son Suit Warehouse, because Andy still isn't here to give instructions in an annoyingly convoluted way that takes ten minutes. Dwight smirks, and tells us in a Talking Head that he and Jim have pretended to be brothers on a number of sales calls to family-owned businesses. So now Dwight calls up Jim in Philly and says it's time for another episode of "Handsome and Stinky, Paper Brothers for Hire." Jim blows him off and tells him to bring Phyllis instead, whom Dwight openly disses while sitting right behind her. Dwight realizes that Jim has hung up on him, but puts on a little show for the other bullpen employees before mistakenly adding, "Bye-bye, love you," and fumbling with hanging up his phone. Jim still wins even when not showing up.
Darryl's on his way out of the office to head to Philly, dressed up in his interview suit. Pam asks him to say hi to Jim when he gets there, and Darryl invites her along so she can tell him herself. Pam scoffs, comparing it to ditching school, "Only instead of getting suspended, you get..." But with Andy gone, the only way to end that sentence is to grab her purse and coat. On her way out, she asks Erin to handle a shipment of pens she's expecting. This is way over Erin's head, but Pam either thinks she's kidding or doesn't give a shit.
Look who's back! No, not Andy. Clark gets out of a cab in the parking lot, looking like he just came straight from the airport because the office is like people's homes on this show. He walks into the bullpen and Oscar greets him as Dwight, Jr. Kevin asks how the sex with Jan was, and although Clark demurs while in the bullpen, he's a little more forthcoming in a TH: "Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week." He compares it to sex with a wild animal, but not a cougar. "A swarm of bees. Bees that find something wrong with every hotel room." Meredith approves of Clark's discretion, and he asks her about the stringy black wig she's wearing today after last week's head-shaving episode. She turns it around, flashing her bare scalp in the process, and Clark lets it go, presenting the office with a new espresso machine as a gift from Jan, along with a bunch of different flavors. Oscar's all excited about it, and corrects Meredith's mispronunciation of "espresso" before realizing she pronounced it correctly.
Dwight comes and finds Clark in the annex later, giving him some props for his "small part" in landing the White Pages account. Clark offers to let Dwight share half the commission, like that's going to happen, but Dwight instead gives Clark a chance to pretend to be his son for a sales call. Clark would even be willing to pretend to be Dwight's friend if it means becoming a salesman, so Dwight presents him with a hung-up replica of the exact puke-tone suit, shirt, and tie Dwight is wearing right now.