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Andy gets the idea that business is war and he's a General, so he tries to drag everyone off for a field trip to Gettysburg for some history and inspiration. Only about half the staff agrees to go, however, and they're not nearly as excited about it as he is. He lugs them all around the battlefield, going on and on and boring them with long lectures and some nonsense about a flag. Dwight has come along to spread the story of The Battle of Schrute Farms, which he insists was a more savage (and more Northern) battle than Gettysburg. As it turns out, TBoSF is more or less the opposite of what Dwight had built it up to be. Also, Gabe is mistaken for an Abraham Lincoln performer, and ends up stepping happily into the role.
Meanwhile, back at the office, the contingent who stayed behind suddenly find themselves asked by Robert California to brainstorm game-changing ideas. Nobody comes up with anything that isn't totally ridiculous, but Robert finds some symbolic value in Kevin's cookie-based ramblings and thinks he's stumbled on a creative genius in the Accounting department. Fortunately, Ryan figures out a way to expose Kevin in the most dickish way possible.
When the staff refuses to join Andy on a hike far afield, he goes into a snit that only passes when Jim and Darryl catch up to him and assure him that while this was a dumb idea, everyone likes him as Regional Manager. Upon hearing this, Andy gives up on the whole general thing, so that's another victory at Gettysburg.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Gabe's running a meeting where he's basically reading the entire Sabre code of conduct when Pam decides to escape the meeting by pretending to go into labor. Apparently she's been doing this a lot, so it doesn't work this time. At least not until a puddle appears between her feet. Now it looks like the real deal, and everyone's all excited about it while Jim walks her toward the door. But then something else falls to the floor between her feet: an empty water bottle with a loose strip of duct tape. "False alarm," she announces.
Andy makes a big loud show of finishing a phone call and coming out to the bullpen to talk about how business is like war. He THs how it's hard to inspire people in a place like this, so today he's getting help from his friend, "America's bloodiest battle." Back in the bullpen, he makes like he's just now getting the idea to go to Gettysburg, on the bus that just happens to be downstairs. "I can't make you go, you're not my slaves -- thanks to Gettysburg -- but who's coming with me?" Erin, Phyllis, Oscar and Dwight (who maintains that the Battle of Schrute Farms, not Gettysburg, was the northernmost battle in the Civil War) are in, at least. Andy says the rest of them are dead to him, but there will be leftover sandwiches in the fridge.
Outside, Andy's handing out hot-pink baseball caps to everyone as they board the bus. Also joining them are Darryl, Jim, and Gabe, who Andy hits in the face with a hat meant for Phyllis. On the bus, Andy gets ready to put Ken Burns' Civil War documentary on the screen, but it's overruled in favor of Limitless. Timely!
Everybody still at the office is doing nothing when Robert California comes in, takes in the scene, and makes his presence known before asking where everyone is. Kelly explains about Andy and the "corporate retreat." Disappointed, Robert says he was hoping to talk about some ideas with Andy, "But what we have here is perhaps better." Pam, Kevin, Ryan, Kelly, Stanley, Angela, Meredith (who is dead asleep) and Kathy the temp. Almost all of them right-columners, mind you. Robert tells them to start to brainstorm game-changing ideas. Kevin gets right on it, inventing, building and testing a stapler with a marker taped to it.
The bus pulls into Gettysburg, and Andy's all excited to get off and start their experience, but the others would rather sit on the bus to finish watching Limitless, even though Andy says they can watch it on the way back. "I got Source Code on the way back," Darryl says while Andy tries to keep the excitement level up all by himself.