In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
When Robert California orders Andy to put an end to the branch's myriad mistakes, Dwight senses an opportunity. Having suddenly become a computer genius, he instantly devises, installs and implements a software program that will monitor everyone's errors. If five mistakes are made in one day, an e-mail will automatically sent to Robert California containing a consultant's report recommending a closing of the branch, along with every snarky remark that everyone in the office is too stupid not to put in their work e-mails. He calls it the "Accountability Booster," but everyone else calls it the "Doomsday Device." I call it no better than they deserve, if they can't keep their CEO-bashing strictly oral.
In any case, the staff doesn't make it to 3:30 without racking up five mistakes. Everyone pleads with Dwight to shut down the device before it automatically sends the e-mail at 5:00, but he not only refuses, he goes home. While Andy leads an away team to Schrute Farms to reason with him, it falls to Jim to go find Robert at the racquet club and try to intercept the e-mail, if it comes in, while everyone else waits at the office for the hammer to fall. Dwight doesn't seem receptive to the group's overtures, but Pam employs a light touch, flattering Dwight and joking around with him until she's confident he'll shut down the device on his own.
In the warehouse, it's safety training day, so we meet some of the new warehouse crew. One of them is an attractive young woman named Val, who Darryl (single again) seems to dig, and who could blame him? Alas, Gabe has also set his cap for her. He hijacks the safety meeting in an effort to impress Val. It looks like Darryl's going to turn it around on Gabe, but when Gabe clumsily asks her for a date, it turns out she doesn't date coworkers. So I guess Darryl's lucky Gabe found that out for him. It also means Val is quite the anomaly at this workplace.
And yes, Dwight shuts down the device. Good thing he was able to do so remotely.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!At five to five, Andy flickers the lights, does a cheesy bartender impression, and turns on a boom box playing "Closing Time" by my hometown boys Semisonic. Andy Talking Heads that this is his end-of-day tradition, to cap off the day and keep people from having to go home and deal with a night that just feels like more day. Or, Andy, you could go on a 32nd date with your imaginary girlfriend. But instead, Andy apparently insists on going around and loudly singing along, even as people are trying to do work. Andy makes Pam sing along, even though after 105 days of Andy being manager (which means 105 repetitions of the song), she still doesn't know the words. Seriously, he does this every day? But apparently this is the day he gets mad at everyone else's lack of participation and decides no traditions, like that's going to upset anyone at all. Then Stanley comes in from the kitchen, happily crooning along. Stanley THs that he'd never heard it before and didn't care for it, but given that it means it's time to go home, it's his new favorite song. So it looks like that'll be enough to keep Andy going on indefinitely. I'm sure everyone else appreciates that a lot.
Andy and Robert California (I don't know why I always feel the need to type his whole name, but I do) are enjoying an awkward pause in the conference room, then suddenly both start talking. Robert blows past Andy's attempt at a conversation-starter about favorite Iron Chefs to say he's not happy with the ticketing reports, whatever that is. Apparently the office is rife with mistakes. When Andy tries to launch into an explanation, Dwight comes in and sits down with his notepad, like he was called in. But that bulling into things the way he does doesn't really work on Robert, so Dwight slinks out.
In a TH, Dwight blames his misstep on a dream he had last night about a world where Number Two is the most valued position. "As with all my dreams, I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants." Back to the plot, in which Robert points out a costly accounting error just as one example. Andy's digression into whimsically characterizing the whole accounting department prompts Robert to say, "Sometimes I feel like you don't know me at all." Andy readily agrees. Robert makes his point: "End the mistakes." If Andy does that, they can talk about Andy's nicknames as much as Andy wants (which Andy takes as a promise rather than the dry mocking it's intended as. Robert's out, but not before delivering a parting shot about Andy's understanding of Iron Chef: "Sometimes I feel like you don't know food at all." Indeed, the list of things Andy doesn't know at all is a long one.
It's almost 3:30 when Angela and Oscar realize he made an accounting error. That's the fifth strike. Stanley breaks out his retirement bottle while everyone else commences freaking. Andy asks Dwight what happens now, and Dwight says the e-mail goes out automatically at 5:00, unless he enters his password. Andy's like, okay, good plan, do that then. But Dwight refuses. In fact he yells at them for sucking so much, complaining and trying to hack into the system. They yell right back, en masse, and Erin even goes so far as to call him a crumb-bum. Dwight asks Andy to back him up, but Andy won't any more. The yelling starts anew, as Kelly and Erin shriek right into his face. "Good luck finding a new job, idiots," Dwight says calmly. "I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. Glowingly negative!" Ooh, burn.
After the ads, Dwight has left, and Andy puts together an away team to go to his house and talk sense into him. Pam ("Dwight really likes you and your breasts are enormous," he explains, earning a modest smile from her that Michael wouldn't have gotten for the same remark until season six or seven) and Kevin are going along. Andy also dispatches Jim to go find Robert and try to intercept the e-mail, which is probably his best move since becoming manager. Jim asks where to find Robert, and Erin thinks Robert's at a club where you either play or eat squash. "I'll try both," Jim nods.
At Schrute Farms, Andy, Pam, Kevin, and Erin find Dwight in his overalls, digging a giant hole in the yard. Andy makes a peace offering in the form of a gas-station ball cap, which Dwight rudely throws in the dirt. So yeah, he's not receptive to their overtures, but when they offer to help him dig the horse-grave he's working on (that's not my joke, that's literally what he's doing), he lets the non-pregnant ones take up the extra shovels he brought out to dig by himself and join him. "If you hit another horse, you've dug too far," Dwight says.
At the club, Jim pretends to run into Robert while there for a "squash meeting" and quickly rips the label off his brand-new racquet before challenging Robert to a game. Or, as Robert corrects, a match. Sometimes I think Jim doesn't know squash at all.
With the grave dug, Dwight's about to head inside by himself to eat, when Pam wrangles an invitation inside for the rest of them to have some water. Dwight agrees, if they all take off their shoes except for of course Kevin. Pam compliments the house, and Dwight drops a little history on the part they're about to enter. It happens to be place's newest addition, built in 1808. "It doubled as a tuberculosis recovery room until 2009."