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Michael gets so annoyed at being shut out of the office gossip that he accidentally uncovers something a little beyond juicy -- namely that Stanley is having an affair. Michael has some fun with his little bombshell until Jim points out that this is not so much the fun kind of bombshell as the life-ruining kind of bombshell. But by then it's too late for Michael to do anything about it but attempt some misdirection. Specifically, he makes up a bunch of nutty rumors about everyone else, including everything from Kelly having an eating disorder to Andy being gay to Pam being pregnant. When he gets busted, he says all but one of the rumors are false. So Jim and Pam, who have kept their secret up until now, jump in to save Stanley, waving Pam's ultrasound photo around and everything. But it's all for naught when Michael calls Stanley's wife by Stanley's girlfriend's name. Smooth move, that. Oh, and there are interns, parkour, and a person inside Kevin operating him with controls (all but one of those is true).
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!The office door bursts open, and Michael clumsily somersaults in onto the sofa, knocking shit over. As Dwight and Andy join him, taking turns holding the camcorder, while bouncing off walls and furniture with the grace of beached manatees, Jim explains that this is their attempt at parkour. Jim shows us a couple of internet videos of actual practitioners, describing it as getting from point A to point B in the most creative way possible. "As long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital." This continues all the way out to the parking lot, all three of them yelling, "Parkour!" at random moments. Until Andy attempts a leap off a roof onto the top of one of the boxed refrigerators out behind Vance Refrigeration. Only to find it devoid of a fridge inside to bounce off of. He vanishes from sight into the box. The only sign of his continued existence is a weak croak of "...parkour..." At least Michael got it on video.
There are three summer interns in the office, doing things like watching Jim work, listening to Kelly cry, opening salsa jars for Andy, getting sexually harassed by Meredith, and whatever random shit Dwight can think of. Pam talking-heads that this is the last day for the first crop of interns since Michael's "Monica Lewinsky" incident years ago. Michael had a Monica Lewinsky incident? Pam unsurprisingly explains, "He just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes."
In the lunchroom, the employees are speculating on whether two of the interns, Eric and Megan, are dating. [Eric is played by Preston Scavo from Desperate Housewives, BTW. - Zach] Michael comes in and makes too much of it, until Phyllis blows it off as mere gossip. Michael looks disappointed and annoyed. There's nothing "mere" about gossip to him, because he never gets included in it. I wonder why?
Speaking of which, Jim and Pam do a joint TH in which they say they haven't told anyone she's pregnant. Other than millions of viewers just now, of course. But that's different, because apparently all of this footage is shot, boxed up, and immediately delivered to a drop box in downtown Scranton, where it is picked up, couriered to a particle accelerator in Brookhaven, and there dropped through a dimensional portal into our universe. Pam says it's not like she wants their coworkers to think Pam's dad will be marching Jim down the aisle with a shotgun. "No shotgun?" Jim asks, joking that this changes everything. "Free at last, free at last," he croons. "Keep it up," Pam advises.