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It's the first day of the Michael Scott Paper Company, and things aren't going great. Michael's so overwhelmed by everything that he can't face the day until Pam helps him pull himself together. But when that's done, they go out, draft Michael's ex-co-telemarketer Vikram and current bowling-alley shoe-bitch Ryan, and head off to a meeting with a potential investor. But things go downhill from there, as the potential investor wants no piece of Michael's company despite being his grandmother. Vikram bails, and Pam freaks, and then it's Michael who has to help her pull herself together. Which he does by finding them a new office space.
Back at the office where everyone else is still working, acting boss Charles turns out to be a rabid soccer fan, which has the unsurprising effect of turning everyone else in the office into soccer fans as well. Even Jim claims to be a soccer player in his own right, because his ass-kissing skills are as rusty as his soccer skills. His humiliation is assured, but it's Phyllis who takes the brunt of it.
And since Michael's condo won't let him run a business out of his home, he comes up with something else: an abandoned storage room at Scranton Office Park, downstairs from Dunder Mifflin. Of course. Michael's determined to make the best of the awkwardness, because he's Michael and thus has no choice.
Take a look back at the each staffers most embarrassing moment.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Kevin's at Reception, but not in the way we're used to, raiding the candy dish and stating the obvious: he's actually behind the desk. Of course, Jim has to remind him to answer the ringing phone, and Kevin reads his stock greeting off a card before saying, "Please hold while I transfer you. OSCAR, YOUR MOM." Jim diplomatically THs that Kevin's doing as well as can be expected, which Kevin now demonstrates by transferring a call for Andy all over the bullpen, chasing it from desk to desk. Finally he gets the call over to Andy, amid much celebration, which is still going on when Andy THs in shock, "My maid died."
Pam arrives at her first day of work, and shows off the new sign outside Michael's condo. He's taped laser-printed pages that read "MICHAEL SCOTT PAPER COMPANY INC." onto the front of an old election yard sign. She knocks on his front door, and Michael answers in his robe. "Oh, good, my hooker's here," he cracks, which drains the excitement out of her right quick, even though she's holding the first piece of mail addressed to the Michael Scott Paper Company, Inc. Inside, he's arranged the kitchen table in decent office configuration. And is making French toast like a man with a mission. To make French toast.
Charles address the troops in the conference room, telling them that he's the acting branch manager until there's a replacement. How much does it suck to be Charles? You get this great new job, and then you have to deal with Michael, and then you have to be Michael. Kelly's question? "Where will you be staying while you're in Scranton?" Charles puts an early end to the Q&A session, and gets ready to move on to spending cuts, pausing momentarily to glare Stanley into putting down his crossword. Jim whispers to Dwight to him about how loud he's breathing, and gets busted by Charles for it. "Oh, no, the new boss does not find Jim adorable!" Dwight THs happily.
Pam wants to get started with the day, but Michael is stalling by continuing to make French toast, until there's a veritable Eiffel Tower of it on the counter. Pam tries to get the mixing away from him, but it just ends up splattered all over his robe, triggering a rant from him about what a stupid move this all is. "I have egg in my Crocs," he concludes. Just when you thought he couldn't sink any lower.
At the office, people are marveling that they never see Charles eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom. Creed assures them that he does the latter.