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Andy's been in blissful ignorance for the 17 days since Phyllis told everyone else about Angela's affair with Dwight, and Michael can't take the awkward tension any more. So he takes Andy aside and spills the proverbial beans as he's literally driving out of the parking lot to meet with David Wallace at corporate. Michael's worried about what Wallace wants, but when it turns out that his boss just wants to know why Scranton is doing better than all the other branches, he gets cocky in a hurry. And boring. Meanwhile, back at the branch, acting-boss Jim is almost completely at a loss as to what to do about Dwight and Andy, who plan to "duel" over Angela in the parking lot. The confrontation goes down about as ridiculously as you might expect, with Andy slowly pinning Dwight against the hedge with his Prius. They exchange taunts through Andy's windshield, but it gets really real when Andy mentions that Angela's slept with him, too -- twice. Both are heartbroken. And Angela, who was all excited about having two men fight over her, instead ends up having two men dump her. Even the Dwight bobblehead goes in the trash. Good thing those are a lot easier to find now.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Okay, here's what happens: I get home twenty minutes before the episode airs, in plenty of time, only to find that my cable box is out. After more than ten minutes on hold with my cable provider (clue: its name rhymes with "bombast,"), I decide, fine, I'll record and watch it upstairs, on my recapping TV. Except that TV's attached to a VCP, which doesn't record, it only plays. So I quickly unhook the downstairs VCR and haul it upstairs, where I hook it up, and after a few minutes of wrestling with coaxial cables and extension cords, I hear -- but do not see -- two things. One is the end of the teaser, and the other is the VCR eating the tape. So let's just say I'm glad these episodes go up online early the morning.
Pam answers the phone at reception, and has to tell the caller that Michael "is not in yet." In fact, he's down in the street, running past one of those roadside speed indicators that tell you how fast you're going as you drive by. "Twelve miles an hour!" he pants. "Beat that, Carl Lewis!" Pam explains that Angela tattled on enough fast drivers that the cops set it up there. "It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard," she THs. We now see that most of the office is assembled on the curb, watching Dwight make a screaming pass. Since he clocks 13, Michael wants a do-over, even bogarting Oscar's turn. A car passes at the same time, registering 31, and Michael claims that as his number. "Beat it!" he dares Oscar.
B.J. Novak is still in the credits...why?
Michael pretends to be excited about being called in to Corporate to talk to David Wallace about "big picture" stuff. But even Michael can't keep up the pretense that he thinks this is a good thing; he is in fact scared shitless.
While Kevin is excitedly sampling Pam's new desk candy (which I didn't mean to sound as dirty as it does,) Andy enters the office with the air of a man who wants to make a big, painful, awkward announcement. But to everyone's (partial) relief, he's just hurt that everyone missed the RSVP deadline on the wedding invitations. Michael, confused, starts to say, "Wait, you still don't know--" Jim springs up from his desk and all but manhandles Michael into his office, much to Andy's confusion. And he still hasn't gotten any RSVPs.
Jim THs that it's been 17 days, and Andy still doesn't know about Dwight and Angela. "Eventually he'll figure it out, when their kids have giant heads and beet-stained teeth, but right now it's just...awkward."