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It's Michael's worst nightmare: Toby has returned. And so has Michael's hatred of him, stronger and more irrational than ever. So he hatches a plan to get him fired. Three plans, actually. When Pam declines to be the bait in a sexual harassment sting and Toby declines Michael's invitation to punch him, Dwight suggests framing Toby for possession of narcotics. The cops come and everything. Too late, Michael has second thoughts, so it's lucky that the bag of green leaves he acquired for five bills is nothing but a salad. It doesn't really resolve anything, except for how much Michael hates Toby.
Meanwhile, Pam's stuck in a subplot in which she stuck a hectoring sign up on the microwave telling people to clean up after themselves, and totally in the dark about the house Jim's buying for them from his parents. When the big reveal comes, she at first seems shocked and not at all pleased, but apparently that's what she looks like when she's shocked and thrilled. So that came out a lot better than it could have.
And Ryan dumps Kelly again, in an even more assy way than you can possibly imagine. And what does Kelly have to say to that? "Okay."
Want more? The full recap starts right below!How is the first line of this episode not "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam?"
There's a little social gathering going on in the conference room, complete with brownies. Angela criticizes Kevin's high-speed eating, Dwight denigrates the whole concept of brownies in favor of his own jerky, and Michael comes in and takes two, claiming it's much healthier for him to spread them out over the afternoon. Which I'm totally sure he'll actually do. Ryan passive-aggressively notices that Kelly's taking two, but she says one is for Toby. Michael jokes about her sending him one to Costa Rica and calls her a weirdo. Jim assures Michael that Toby is actually back here, in Scranton, in the office, and has been all week. He suggests Michael "meander" back to the annex. Michael goes along with it, and when he reaches the annex? No Toby at the desk. That's because Toby's familiar hangdog face has just hovered into view behind him. Michael turns to see him standing there, and his reaction is less than welcoming: "No! God! No, God, please, no! No! NOOO--"
Credits.
Michael lurks with Dwight behind the shades in his office, peering out hatefully at Toby. David Wallace comes in on the speakerphone worriedly asking what's wrong. Michael tells him about the horror of Toby's return, and Wallace angrily says that Michael texted him 911 and he thought someone was hurt. Michael THs about how he learned to do that because it's the only way to get people to return his calls. Wallace's revenge is built-in; all he has to do is gleefully tell Michael that without cause, Toby isn't going anywhere.
In the kitchen, Pam opens the microwave, and discovers a big splattery mess in there. She's grossed out, and more than a little irritated.
Jim went ahead and bought his parents' house, which Andy brings up in the crowded break room. Apparently he saw it in Jim's e-mail. "That is not cool," Jim says coolly. And now everyone else in the break room knows about the home purchase too. Good thing Pam isn't in there. Jim asks everyone to keep it quiet, as we learn about some of the home's downsides: shag carpeting, wood paneling, "a creepy clown painting that is apparently crucial to the structural integrity" (seriously, Jim can't seem to pry the ugly thing off the wall) and best of all, he's Creed's neighbor. "We can go to the quarry and throw things down it," Creed suggests. Andy adds that Pam won't be happy about the surprise, and points to himself and Angela as an example: "No secrets," he boasts, as Angela scowls guiltily. Jim is beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. I hope he at least secured his parents a nice bridge to live under.