Greetings, Jam fans and Scrantonicity connoisseurs! M. Giant couldn't be here tonight -- I suspect he's on his yearly pilgrimage to Scranton, but you didn't hear it from me. Either way, I'll try to dial down my adoration for the show and deem any squeals of "I love you, Jim!" and/or experimental beet recipes purely extracurricular. Just the facts, kids, I swear.
Jim and Pam chat on the phone. He asks if she wants to say hi to everyone, and she says no because she's mad that no one has congratulated her on the engagement. Jim reveals he didn't tell anyone yet because he didn't want to deal with their shenanigans. She claims it won't be that bad, so he engages speakerphone and puts her theory to the test.
Aaaaand... cue the reactions (paraphrased, of course) -- Oscar: You're not already engaged?; Angela: She used to be engaged to Roy, that harlot; Kevin: Do I have to get another gift?; Andy: Don't steal my thunder, Tuna; Dwight: You're marrying a loose woman! Then Michael walks in and asks what's going on. Pam tries to deflect, thus avoiding any inevitable Michael weirdness, but Creed announces, "The tall guy got engaged." Obviously a worshipper at the altar of Sarah "I Don't Blink" Palin, Michael immediately tackles Jim. Pam speakerphones, "Sorry." Credits.
The DM crew hunches over paperwork until Holly screams, "Pencils down!... Just kidding." She proudly TH's that it's "Ethics Day" and that she's excited to run her first meeting. She promises it'll be "insaaaaane." Oh, Holly. Mama may have, papa may have, but God bless the dork that's got her own...
Cut to the boardroom. Michael clumsily reaches for a boom box. Dwight finally turns it on. The first chords of that modern-day classic "Let's Get Physical" sound, and sweatband-wearing Michael and Holly jog-dance into the conference room. Cut to befuddled -- some might say disgusted -- faces. Can I just say, this routine would have been much truer to the spirit of Ms. Olivia Newton-John if Stanley and/or Creed donned spandex onesies and danced along? OMG, just imagining what Michael would have to have done to coerce Stanley into participating is a titillating thought in and of itself. "Pretzel Day" twice a year, perhaps? So, Michael and Holly butcher "Let's Get Physical," shrieking "Let's Get Ethical!" Cut to Jim's predictable "I'm so much cooler than this. Why am I here?" reaction shot.
Michael finally stops the music. Before Holly begins her gig, he TH's that he hopes to merge their friendship into a relationship so subtly that she doesn't even notice. Well... it worked for Jim, I guess. Holly introduces the ethics seminar, saying that a certain unnamed employee (zoom in on Ryan) breached DM's indomitable code of ethics and was fired. Even Kevin -- who, as we learned last week, is surprisingly bad with numbers for an accountant -- can do the math on this one. He points out, literally, that Ryan is actually in the room and was not so much fired as hired. Then he gives himself props for renaming Ryan "Hired Guy" and pounds it out with Jim.