Dwight is panting. Specifically, he is bouncing and panting. More specifically, he is bouncing in a circular pattern and panting rhythmically. After tolerating this for a short labor's worth of cleansing breaths, Jim looks over in silent exasperation. "You should get one of these," Dwight explains, going on to point out that the big exercise ball on which he's sitting (Dwight calls it a "fitness orb") is great for the body. "Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts," he commands. "Done," Jim says. Dwight tells him that it strengthens the core -- stronger back, help with sports, and "more enjoyable sex." Jim points out that Dwight isn't having any sex. It also improves your reflexes, not that this helps keep Dwight from knocking over a pencil cup. Finally, Jim has a question: how much does the orb cost? Dwight says that it's only twenty-five dollars. Armed with this knowledge, Jim stands and picks up a pair of scissors. He walks over and drives the scissors into the orb, which immediately splits down the side and hurls Dwight to the floor.
Credits.
Oscar leaves Michael's office, and Michael calls for Pam. As she heads in, she THs that today is the day for performance reviews. Her review last year began with a rundown of her hopes and dreams, and it ended with Michael informing her that he could bench-press 190 pounds. This time around, Michael has a different agenda: he wants Pam to listen to a voicemail from Jan, in which she uses the phrase, "I guess I missed you." To Michael, as you can imagine, this means that she...you know, misses him. She also clarifies in the message that they will be discussing business only, and not...you know. Anything else. When Michael asks her for a response, Pam tells him that she figures it means...Jan will be there later. In a TH, Michael discusses the fact that this will be his first time seeing Jan since...you know. "Caught up in the moment," as he says, and we watch in flashback as they make out. He does say that she didn't want to keep up with that...although, of course, he adds that he didn't either. Nobody did! Totally mutual! He was not at all rejected, and was not at all left to ponder life as an empty shell! Nooooo way!
He plays "I guess I missed you" for Pam quite a few times, and she attempts to gently point out that this is "I didn't catch you" rather than "I am pining for you." Michael doesn't take this well, and after announcing that he's "in a terrible mood," he proposes they move on to Pam's performance review. Behind panicked eyes, Pam gets the scent in the wind, changes her mind, and tells Michael that Jan is clearly "conflicted" about their relationship. This, Michael likes. And this gets Pam off the hook.
Out at the desks, Dwight tells Jim that during his performance review, he should propose to Michael that they carry more "double-tabbed manila file folders." Jim says there's no such thing; Dwight insists it's "a new product." Craftily, Dwight turns to the camera and smiles evilly, telling Jim this will help him get a raise. But Dwight is foiled when Jim says he's not asking for a raise anyway -- he's asking for a cut. Dwight doesn't understand, but he loses patience and says he's not going to sit here and deal with Jim, because he's just looking forward to not having to see Jim "tomorrow or Sunday." This freezes Jim mid-bite of yogurt. Way happier than is healthy, Jim looks at Dwight and says, "By 'tomorrow,' you mean...Saturday, right?" Dwight agrees, dummy. In a TH, Jim points out that it's currently Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. "And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon," he adds with a smile.
Michael is out by reception, desperately trying to prepare for his review with Jan. He tells Pam that he knows he has ideas regularly, and he wants to know whether she keeps a folder of his ideas. Pam does not, in fact, have a folder of Michael's great ideas. "That's unfortunate," he says. He asks about the suggestion box, which Pam doesn't even remember until he reminds her that he indeed had a suggestion box out a few years ago, and now, he'd like her to find it. Michael turns to everyone else and tells them to turn in any suggestions to the box so they can use them at the "weekly suggestion box meeting" he just made up. He welcomes all of their "constructive compliments." Ryan and Kelly question whether he means "constructive criticism," but when they do, Michael chides them for delivering feedback that is "neither constructive nor a compliment." Really, Ryan and Kelly.
Jim is allegedly on the phone, leaving someone a message about what he's up to "tomorrow." Jim hems and haws, saying tomorrow is "the fifteenth, and that is a..." He gets his payoff when Dwight helpfully but impatiently mutters, "Saturday." Jim actually pumps his fist as he repeats "Saturday," and then he stares directly into the camera as he finishes and hangs up the phone. It's a genius discovery, this tiny, petty, insignificant thing that Jim can do to Dwight that will bring him complete satisfaction.
Kevin is in the foreground as Jan enters the office with her cell phone. He gives the camera a knowing look. Michael steps out to greet Jan, and his efforts to hug her and/or kiss her hand are rejected with awkward revulsion. He takes Jan into his office. Kevin whispers an "ooooooh" to the camera. In Michael's office, he takes Jan's coat, and she immediately lays down the law that they're not going to talk about anything other than business. He THs that he's finding her entire approach so confusing, because on the one hand, she kissed him, but on the other hand, every single thing she's done since then has suggested that she has no interest in kissing him ever again. Whatever could that mean? No, really, what? Ladies are so complicated! Back in his office, Michael can't stop surreptitiously sex-talking to her as she tries to ask him about his progress with everyone's reviews. She stares daggers of hate into his cheekbones. Suffice it to say that Michael's string of smooth responses concludes with: "Not that there's anything wrong with 'wham bam,' if it's consensual." He asks if he can ask her something, and she immediately says no, but he swears it's a business question. He wants to ask. It's a business question. Honest. She relents: what's the question? "Are you wearing a new perfume today?" He considers this a business question, since she's wearing it at the office. He leans in and sniffs heavily, telling her "it's really sexy." Jan is still horrified: "Please don't smell me, Michael," she says icily. I love that line so much, because they knew not to overwrite it, which I'm sure was very tempting. "Please don't smell me, Michael" is the most straightforward and un-"written" way she could possibly have spoken to him there, and it's just perfect.
People walk by reception and drop papers into the suggestion box, and Pam walks over to Jim's desk to talk about what happened last night on The Apprentice. You have no way of knowing this unless you used to actually watch Donald Trump voluntarily, but this is another cue to Dwight that it's Friday. Dwight looks up unhappily, saying he forgot to watch it, because he was out drinking with his laser-tag team. Yeah, drinking Yoo-Hoo, maybe. Jim and Pam look happily and disbelievingly at the camera. It's going so well.